Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

boom2ratz wrote:

Anyway, any critiques?

This maybe be a bit surface level but, more dialogue and voice over. That may sound weird but hear me out.

A good thing about comics is how it combines the more internal monologue from books and the visuals of film so adding a bit of thoughts for Steve could be interested.

Since the fight scenes are many dialougless it could be nice to add some to make them more engaging.

Alright nice I'll make some edits sometime this week then

boom2ratz wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

boom2ratz wrote:

Anyway, any critiques?

This maybe be a bit surface level but, more dialogue and voice over. That may sound weird but hear me out.

A good thing about comics is how it combines the more internal monologue from books and the visuals of film so adding a bit of thoughts for Steve could be interested.

Since the fight scenes are many dialougless it could be nice to add some to make them more engaging.

Alright nice I'll make some edits sometime this week then

Nice.

Uh I have a big timeline issue with X-Men I need to sort out.

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

Uh I have a big timeline issue with X-Men I need to sort out.

What is it again?

boom2ratz wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

Uh I have a big timeline issue with X-Men I need to sort out.

What is it again?

Alright, I'm sticking to the Emma and Kitty dynamic of them going from enemies to friends. Which has when Kitty first gains her powers attempts to be brought into the Hellfire Club (in the comics its an academy but I combined the two) The issue is this, character ages. The rest of the X-Men at that time in the past the oldest (Jean, Scott, Storm, and Hank) would be late teens 17-18. Everything sounds normal, right? Well that issue comes with Emma's age since her's should be closer to Scott since I'm adapting that relationship. So I genuinely can't figure out how to make the timeline work with this.

Well I took me binging X-Men '97 to get motivation.

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

Well I took me binging X-Men '97 to get motivation.

Also I realized what the current draft was missing a Jean/Scott/Logan love triangle nah it was Gambit. He didn’t really appear in #1 but now…

Okay so, finally got done reading one comic I committed to reading that was quite long. Now I can finally read Spider-Man Life Story then finalize the pitch for Decade.

Does anyone want anything specific in Decade?

AbeHe wrote:

Okay so, finally got done reading one comic I committed to reading that was quite long. Now I can finally read Spider-Man Life Story then finalize the pitch for Decade.

Does anyone want anything specific in Decade?

60% done reading Life Story.

Should we do the death of Gwen Stacy?

AbeHe wrote:

AbeHe wrote:

Okay so, finally got done reading one comic I committed to reading that was quite long. Now I can finally read Spider-Man Life Story then finalize the pitch for Decade.

Does anyone want anything specific in Decade?

60% done reading Life Story.

Should we do the death of Gwen Stacy?

If you feel that is best for the story, yes.

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

AbeHe wrote:

AbeHe wrote:

Okay so, finally got done reading one comic I committed to reading that was quite long. Now I can finally read Spider-Man Life Story then finalize the pitch for Decade.

Does anyone want anything specific in Decade?

60% done reading Life Story.

Should we do the death of Gwen Stacy?

If you feel that is best for the story, yes.

That's the thing, if I do the Death Of Gwen Stacy that's what the whole comic should be about.
If I don't, it becomes about growth.

Either works, but I can't choose one over the other. That's why I asked.

AbeHe wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

AbeHe wrote:

AbeHe wrote:

Okay so, finally got done reading one comic I committed to reading that was quite long. Now I can finally read Spider-Man Life Story then finalize the pitch for Decade.

Does anyone want anything specific in Decade?

60% done reading Life Story.

Should we do the death of Gwen Stacy?

If you feel that is best for the story, yes.

That's the thing, if I do the Death Of Gwen Stacy that's what the whole comic should be about.
If I don't, it becomes about growth.

Either works, but I can't choose one over the other. That's why I asked.

Thinking about it, If we do Death of Gwen Stacy this is just Life Story again.
While I am taking inspiration I can't just copy it.

So I suppose Gwen will live unless anyone complains.

And I finished reading Life Story.

The finalized pitch for Spider-Man will be done soon.

AbeHe wrote:

And I finished reading Life Story.

The finalized pitch for Spider-Man will be done soon.

YES!

1x1 COMPLETELY BLACK PANEL.

1x2 A screen flickers to life, with a traditional TV screen static.

CAPTION: MOJOWORLD PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS!

1x3 In a cartoony-type style (akin to the 90s series) we see the X-MEN.

CAPTION: THE HISTORY OF THE X-MEN!

Started re-writing x-men.

First Draft of the Pitch is done.
Once the final draft for the pitch is done I'll post it.

AbeHe wrote:

First Draft of the Pitch is done.
Once the final draft for the pitch is done I'll post it.

Just share the first draft. We can look over it and then next draft.

Posted this twice due to odd Internet.

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

AbeHe wrote:

First Draft of the Pitch is done.
Once the final draft for the pitch is done I'll post it.

Just share the first draft. We can look over it and then next draft.

Alright. Let me grab it.

Spider-Man: Decade's Story
(keep in mind this is a first draft)
________________________________________
I'm thinking we do 6 issues, with 2 years put in each issue, and Issue 6 is modern day.

Issue 1
Year 1 | Origin and setup.
Year 2 | Green Goblin, college, and Jackal setup.

Issue 2
Year 3 | Peter's first encounter with Morbius.
Year 4 | Peter and Gwen Stacy get engaged. Peter fights Ock.

Issue 3
Year 5 | Clone Saga. Ties together both the Jackal plot and Ock.
Year 6 | Norman is revealed as being behind the Clone Saga, Norman dies.

Issue 4
Year 7 | Otto gets sick.
Year 8 | Spider-Island. Ends the Jackal plot. Peter and Gwen finally get married.

Issue 5
Year 9 | Superior Spider-Man. Ends the Otto Plot.
Year 10 | Reappearance of Morbius.

Issue 6
Modern Day | Blade Crossover. Ends Morbius plot.
_________________________________________

NOTES:
Peter is bitten in his last year of high school, he is 17 at the time.
Morbius here is created by the Jackal. Morbius shows up in Spider-Island.
Ock helped the Jackal with his clone research.
Norman is behind the clone saga the whole time btw.
Peter assumes Morbius is dead after Spider-Island.

About each issue:
1:

Starting in year 1 we'd have the standard origin and set up for Spider-Man, biggest change is him being 17 when bit. Year 2 has Peter find out that not only Norman is the Green Goblin, but he knows Peter is Spider-Man. We'd see Prof Miles Warren (the Jackal) in a few panels when Peter's at college. Gwen is also present. Somewhere in issue 1 Peter starts selling photos to the Bugle of course, we'd introduce the classic Bugle cast but most importantly (to set up Beyond) Betty Brant. Towards the end Norman is defeated and get's amnesia like the classic story. Spidey would let Norman live his normal life.
I think doing the bit (From Life Story) where Flash goes off to to serve, Peter is to late to see him off, and here Gwen finds out Pete is Spider-Man could be cool.
2:

Year 3 is simple, Morbius. We'd get a few panels showing Warren being behind it but Peter doesn't find out yet. Year 4 is also quite simple as Peter tries getting to his date with Gwen where he wants to propose, but Ock's getting in the way.
3:

Year 5 oh boy, Clone Saga. In a explosion at Warren's lab all the clones get loose. Peter runs into Ben Reilly. And Kaine already got away. There was also a deceased Gwen clone which causes confusion among Peter, Ben, and Gwen. They confront Warren while he is the Jackal where he assures them that Gwen is the original, but in a twist claims Peter is the clone (he's not). Nevertheless Ben ditches New York after they lock up the Jackal after Kaine threatens him to do so, since Kaine wants his fellow “clone” to live the life he can't. Peter and Gwen begin working everything out since the whole clone thing. And Year 6 Norman angry that Peter is living life semi normally becomes the Green Goblin once more and attack's Peter and Gwen at their home. Norman reveals the truth and dies the classic Green Goblin death. This leaves Harry trying to run Oscorp.
4:

Year 7 has Peter visit Ock while Otto's health continues to decline, they remember everything Warren did to both of them. Year 8 Warren returns and causes Spider-Island. Morbius's blood contains the key to developing a cure for the virus. The Jackal would take Kaine and mutate him into becoming Tarantula like in the OG story. In the end Kaine would also be cured along with everyone else, and Kaine's cellular degeneration is reversed on top of that. Jackal ends up falling to his death or something like that. Peter and Gwen this whole time never got married since the clone saga happened right after they got engaged, so after working through some of their trust problems left over from the Clone Saga they get married. Kaine runs off to Texas.
5:

Year 9 Otto takes over Peter's body, he get's Peter's memories however. Then tries to be a hero like Peter. He pushes most people away including Gwen. Otto tries to get a doctorate as “Peter” and meets Anna Maria Marconi, Otto develops feelings for her. Meanwhile Harry discovers a old warehouse learning that his father was the Green Goblin. He becomes the new Green Goblin, finds out “Peter” is Spider-Man and kidnaps Anna Maria Marconi. Otto comes face to face with the fact that Peter is the “Superior” Spider-Man and lets him take his life back as long as he saves Anna Maria. Peter does so and convinces Harry to stop. Pretty much the regular Superior storyline but with Harry as the Green Goblin. It'd end with Peter going to see Gwen Stacy. Year 10 Peter and Gwen are doing much better after everything that happened, they look back on the 10 years Peter has been Spider-Man. Morbius reappears which makes Peter worried that the Jackal is somehow alive.
6:

Modern day, don't have much planned for this since it's the Blade crossover but here's what I got, Peter is being more violent trying to catch Morbius since he's worried the Jackal is still messing with him. Blade get's him to stop and they catch Morbius who assures them that the Jackal is truly dead. And I do know the issue would end with a Venom reference, either a meteor or the symbiote on the ground.

Keep in mind if changes will probably be made.
_____________________________________

Alright cast time.

Peter Parker / Spider-Man
Gwen Stacy
Uncle Ben
Aunt May
Flash Thompson
Professor Miles Warren
Norman Osborn
Harry Osborn
J Jonah Jameson
Betty Brant
Otto Octavius
Ben Reilly
Kaine Parker
Morbius
Anna Maria Marconi
Blade (in the crossover issue)

And probably more I'm forgetting.
___________________________

AbeHe wrote:

Spider-Man: Decade's Story
(keep in mind this is a first draft)
________________________________________
I'm thinking we do 6 issues, with 2 years put in each issue, and Issue 6 is modern day.

Issue 1
Year 1 | Origin and setup.
Year 2 | Green Goblin, college, and Jackal setup.

Issue 2
Year 3 | Peter's first encounter with Morbius.
Year 4 | Peter and Gwen Stacy get engaged. Peter fights Ock.

Issue 3
Year 5 | Clone Saga. Ties together both the Jackal plot and Ock.
Year 6 | Norman is revealed as being behind the Clone Saga, Norman dies.

Issue 4
Year 7 | Otto gets sick.
Year 8 | Spider-Island. Ends the Jackal plot. Peter and Gwen finally get married.

Issue 5
Year 9 | Superior Spider-Man. Ends the Otto Plot.
Year 10 | Reappearance of Morbius.

Issue 6
Modern Day | Blade Crossover. Ends Morbius plot.
_________________________________________

NOTES:
Peter is bitten in his last year of high school, he is 17 at the time.
Morbius here is created by the Jackal. Morbius shows up in Spider-Island.
Ock helped the Jackal with his clone research.
Norman is behind the clone saga the whole time btw.
Peter assumes Morbius is dead after Spider-Island.

About each issue:
1:

Starting in year 1 we'd have the standard origin and set up for Spider-Man, biggest change is him being 17 when bit. Year 2 has Peter find out that not only Norman is the Green Goblin, but he knows Peter is Spider-Man. We'd see Prof Miles Warren (the Jackal) in a few panels when Peter's at college. Gwen is also present. Somewhere in issue 1 Peter starts selling photos to the Bugle of course, we'd introduce the classic Bugle cast but most importantly (to set up Beyond) Betty Brant. Towards the end Norman is defeated and get's amnesia like the classic story. Spidey would let Norman live his normal life.
I think doing the bit (From Life Story) where Flash goes off to to serve, Peter is to late to see him off, and here Gwen finds out Pete is Spider-Man could be cool.
2:

Year 3 is simple, Morbius. We'd get a few panels showing Warren being behind it but Peter doesn't find out yet. Year 4 is also quite simple as Peter tries getting to his date with Gwen where he wants to propose, but Ock's getting in the way.
3:

Year 5 oh boy, Clone Saga. In a explosion at Warren's lab all the clones get loose. Peter runs into Ben Reilly. And Kaine already got away. There was also a deceased Gwen clone which causes confusion among Peter, Ben, and Gwen. They confront Warren while he is the Jackal where he assures them that Gwen is the original, but in a twist claims Peter is the clone (he's not). Nevertheless Ben ditches New York after they lock up the Jackal after Kaine threatens him to do so, since Kaine wants his fellow “clone” to live the life he can't. Peter and Gwen begin working everything out since the whole clone thing. And Year 6 Norman angry that Peter is living life semi normally becomes the Green Goblin once more and attack's Peter and Gwen at their home. Norman reveals the truth and dies the classic Green Goblin death. This leaves Harry trying to run Oscorp.
4:

Year 7 has Peter visit Ock while Otto's health continues to decline, they remember everything Warren did to both of them. Year 8 Warren returns and causes Spider-Island. Morbius's blood contains the key to developing a cure for the virus. The Jackal would take Kaine and mutate him into becoming Tarantula like in the OG story. In the end Kaine would also be cured along with everyone else, and Kaine's cellular degeneration is reversed on top of that. Jackal ends up falling to his death or something like that. Peter and Gwen this whole time never got married since the clone saga happened right after they got engaged, so after working through some of their trust problems left over from the Clone Saga they get married. Kaine runs off to Texas.
5:

Year 9 Otto takes over Peter's body, he get's Peter's memories however. Then tries to be a hero like Peter. He pushes most people away including Gwen. Otto tries to get a doctorate as “Peter” and meets Anna Maria Marconi, Otto develops feelings for her. Meanwhile Harry discovers a old warehouse learning that his father was the Green Goblin. He becomes the new Green Goblin, finds out “Peter” is Spider-Man and kidnaps Anna Maria Marconi. Otto comes face to face with the fact that Peter is the “Superior” Spider-Man and lets him take his life back as long as he saves Anna Maria. Peter does so and convinces Harry to stop. Pretty much the regular Superior storyline but with Harry as the Green Goblin. It'd end with Peter going to see Gwen Stacy. Year 10 Peter and Gwen are doing much better after everything that happened, they look back on the 10 years Peter has been Spider-Man. Morbius reappears which makes Peter worried that the Jackal is somehow alive.
6:

Modern day, don't have much planned for this since it's the Blade crossover but here's what I got, Peter is being more violent trying to catch Morbius since he's worried the Jackal is still messing with him. Blade get's him to stop and they catch Morbius who assures them that the Jackal is truly dead. And I do know the issue would end with a Venom reference, either a meteor or the symbiote on the ground.

Keep in mind if changes will probably be made.
_____________________________________

Alright cast time.

Peter Parker / Spider-Man
Gwen Stacy
Uncle Ben
Aunt May
Flash Thompson
Professor Miles Warren
Norman Osborn
Harry Osborn
J Jonah Jameson
Betty Brant
Otto Octavius
Ben Reilly
Kaine Parker
Morbius
Anna Maria Marconi
Blade (in the crossover issue)

And probably more I'm forgetting.
___________________________

Seems really good.