can i be here

daboydodo wrote:

can i be here

You haven’t been accepted so no.

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

daboydodo wrote:

can i be here

You haven’t been accepted so no.

ok see ya

Hi! I’m new here.
Edit:And in case you don’t know, I’ve been accepted as an arttist.

pixel_fox2011 wrote:

Hi! I’m new here.
Edit:And in case you don’t know, I’ve been accepted as an arttist.

kool

C'mon do somethin'

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

C'mon do somethin'

??

-MANDOFANCOMICS- wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

C'mon do somethin'

??

I’m reviving this collab!

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

-MANDOFANCOMICS- wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

C'mon do somethin'

??

I’m reviving this collab!

I'm almost finished the Captain America script, probably coming this week

boom2ratz wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

-MANDOFANCOMICS- wrote:

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

C'mon do somethin'

??

I’m reviving this collab!

I'm almost finished the Captain America script, probably coming this week

It's this week.

In the Marvel Universe, I believe it's the case that vampires are repelled by what someone belives/has faith in. What if someone believes/has faith in vampires, do they burst into flames?

Revive.

Okay, update on alpha flight: zero progress. I need to work on iron lad, then Wiccan, then patriot. At some point I need to start deadpool lol. So I’ll try to find some space for the comic, just I have a lot more priorities

Also, if anyone here needs logos, or cover art, backgrounds or sprites, ask me. I can do small things, I just need to work out some of my own comics first

Hey, plat?? On your signature, marvels spelled wrong just so you know

-MANDOFANCOMICS- wrote:

Hey, plat?? On your signature, marvels spelled wrong just so you know

Fixed it.

I’m planning to pick up writing X-Men any suggestions? What not to do? What to do? Etc?

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Issue #1: AMERICAN DREAM

PAGE 1
NOTE: Tainted brown like an old picture, but enough color to be identifiable as 1940s Captain America.

1x1 Captain America pulls up his goofy pants.
“1942”

1x2 He puts on his helmet.

1x3 He picks up his shield.
CAP (off-screen): “Is it rolling?”
TECHNICIAN (off-screen): “When you’re ready Cap.”

1x4 Cap points to the reader.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: “I, Captain America, want YOU to fight alongside me. For America!”

1x5 CAPTAIN AMERICA: “We can win this war if we stick together.”

1x6 Cap raises his shield up high.

PAGE 2
NOTE: Coloring is back to normal, present day. 2025-ish.

2x1 The vibranium shield, now more modern, is thrown across the panel, its star focalized. A clear blue sky and dark blue water in the background.

2x2 The vibranium shield hits a couple pirate goons.

2x3 The shield goes back…

2x4 To Cap’s hands.

PAGE 3
NOTE: Falcon visor view (see below)
3x1 FALCON VISOR VIEW (red, x-ray) Top view of a big US ship. We can see tiny Captain America with the dead goons.

3x2 FALCON VISOR VIEW. We zoom into a room of the ship where Batroc the Leaper is holding some hostages.
FALCON (off-screen): “I have eyes on Batroc. The hatch on your left.”

PAGE 4

4x1 Captain America looks to his left.
CAP: “Thanks Sam. I’ll take care of him, look around for our main guy and help the other hostages.”

4x2 He kicks down the door.

4x3 We see Batroc among the hostages, indicating with his hands for Cap to come at him.

PAGE 5

5x1 Batroc and Captain America jump in to fight.

5x2 Batroc has a kick blocked by Cap’s shield.

5x3 Batroc gives another kick but Cap grabs his foot.

5x4 Cap twists his foot and throws him far away.

5x5 Batroc comes leaping back.

5x6 Batroc lands a couple punches on Cap’s face.

PAGE 6

6x1 Close-up of Cap’s face.
CAP: “Enough of this carp.”

6x2 Close-up of Batroc’s terrified face.

6x3 Cap gives Batroc a punch in the jaw.

6x4 Leaper drops to the ground unconscious.

6x5 Cap crouches down and begins untying one of the hostages.
CAP: “Are you folks all right?”

PAGE 7

7x1 Falcon hovers above the ship.

7x2 On the deck, some goons point up at him.

7x3 Crosshair view of Falcon.

7x4 The goon shoots.

7x5 Falcon dodges the bullets.

7x6 Back on the deck, the goons are hit by some blasts.

PAGE 8

8x1 Cap sprints out of the room.

8x2 CAP: “Sam? Any news?”

8x3 The unconscious bodies of the goons that Falcon took out.

8x4 Falcon drops in from above.

8x5 He puts his hand to his visor.

PAGE 9

9x1 Falcon visor view. Crossbones is nearby, with some hostages as well.

9x2 FALCON: “I see our guy, also with some hostages. On the stern.”
CAP (through earpiece): “Copy that. This’ll be over in a second. You can call Fury.”
FALCON: “You sure you can handle him Cap?”

9x3 On the deck, Crossbones talks down to some hostages, tied to the side of the ship.
CROSSBONES: “Bad day at the office for you guys.”
RANDOM HOSTAGE: “Captain America is coming to save us, you pirate piece of %&^#!”

9x4 Close-up of Crossbones’s helmet.
CROSSBONES: “You shouldn’ta said that.”

PAGE 10

10x1 Close-up of Crossbones’s helmet.
CROSSBONES: “Now walk the plank!”

10x2 Crossbones kicks the random hostage over the side of the ship, tied up.

10x3 The other hostages watch in horror. SPLASH!

10x4 Crossbones dusts off his hands.
CROSSBONES: “Now where is that star-spangled son of a gun?”

PAGE 11

11x1 Captain America kicks a goon in the jaw.

11x2 Then throws his shield at another one, it already comes back.
FALCON (through earpiece): “Steve! You gotta hurry up, man!”

11x3 Steve punches a guy.
FALCON (through earpiece): “This Crossbones jerk’s gone crazy! I think someone went overboard.”

11x4 With that, Steve takes off running.

PAGE 12

12x1 Rumlow stands.
CROSSBONES: !
CAP (off-screen): “RUMLOW!!!”

12x2 Crossbones gets a shield to the face and tumbles down unconscious.

12x3 The shield zooms back into Captain America’s hands. He stands imposingly.

12x5 Cap touches his earpiece.
CAP: “Sam. Look for the hostage that went overboard. Now!”

12x6 Sam zooms as fast as possible over the ship.

PAGE 13

13x1 Falcon view of the water. Some fish. No sign of the guy.
FALCON (off-screen): “No sign of him. He’s long gone, Cap.”

13x2 Docks. Captain America.
RANDOM HOSTAGE (off-screen): “Captain America! You saved us!”

13x3 Captain America gives a slight smile.

PAGE 14

14x1 Steve Rogers walks through Times Square, the billboards all display him and Falcon saving the day with heroic headlines.
FAN (off-screen): “Oh my gosh, are you Captain America?!”

14x2 The fan, a teenage girl.
FAN: “Will you take a photo with me?”

14x3 Steve smiles.
STEVE: “Alright, let me see if I figured this phone thing out yet.”

14x4 The phone shows Steve and the fan smiling through the camera. Steve presses the white button.

PAGE 15

15x1 Steve gives the girl her phone back.
FAN: “Thank you!”

15x2 The girl walks away.
OLD LADY: “Mr. Rogers!”

15x3 An old lady points up at a tree. It’s her cat! Steve looks up.
OLD LADY: “Will you help my cat get out of there?”
STEVE: “Of course, ma’am.”

PAGE 16

16x1 Steve climbs the tree.

16x2 And more

16x3 And more

16x4 He reaches the top

16x5 He splits some bushes with his hand and sees the cat.

16x6 He reaches out and grabs the cat.

16x7 Steve’s POV, looking down from the tree. A smiling and cheering crowd has formed.

16x8 Steve jumps down.

PAGE 17

17x1 Steve hands the cat to the lady.

17x2 The crowd jumps up and down.
RANDOM PERSON: “You’re so awesome!”
OTHER RANDOM PERSON: “I love you more than I love my girlfriend!”
ANOTHER RANDOM PERSON: “Mr. America! Me and you should start a restaurant!”
EVEN ANOTHER RANDOM PERSON: “You’re so much cooler than Spider-Man!”

PAGE 18

18x1 Steve walks down the street when his old-fashioned phone rings.
PHONE: “RINNGGGG”

18x2 Steve answers.
FURY (off-screen): “Rogers?”
STEVE: “Hey Fury, what’s up?”
FURY: “It’s the president. He wants to see you.”

18x3 Steve looks up at an enormous billboard of the goofy PRESIDENT H. JEFFERSON, flexing his arms with some propaganda headline.
STEVE: “Huh.”

PAGE 19

19x1 Exterior view of the White House.

19x2 Inside the White House, Steve is in his Captain America suit (but toned down a bit so as to not be ridiculous, eg. without the mask) escorted by a guard.

19x3 The Guard points to the Oval Office: “He’s waiting for you in there.”

19x4 Steve opens the door

PAGE 20

20x1 President Jefferson is sitting at his desk.
JEFFERSON: “Captain! I’ve been expecting you.”

20x2 Close-up of the two shaking hands.
STEVE (off-screen): “What is it exactly that you want with me, Mr. President?”
JEFFERSON (off-screen): “We have a lot to talk about.”

PAGE 21

21x1 Side view of the desk. Steve sits down in front of Jefferson.
JEFFERSON: “Coffee?”
STEVE: “No thanks.”

21x2 Jefferson rubs his chin.
JEFFERSON: “I want us to work together.”
JEFFERSON: “I think a big mistake from my predecessor was not… using you. Your image.”
JEFFERSON: “Let’s be honest, Cap, you’re the face of America! Everybody loves you.”
JEFFERSON: “Including me.”

21x3 Steve.
STEVE: “Work together. What does that mean?”

21x4 President
JEFFERSON: “Commercials… PSA’s… y’know.”
JEFFERSON: “Maybe even important stuff. Some actual announcements.”

21x5 Steve
STEVE: “I don’t understand, Mr. President. Isn’t all that stuff YOUR job?”

21x6 Jefferson
JEFFERSON: “Listen Cap, there’s a lotta people who don’t like me… You know. That usual kind.”
JEFFERSON: “And as I’ve said, everyone in the WORLD loves you!”

PAGE 22

22x1 Steve eyebrows raised
STEVE: “Hold on. Who doesn’t like you?”
JEFFERSON: “Oh come on, you know. That bunch…”

22x2 Steve leans in and frowns.
STEVE: “What bunch?”

22x3 Jefferson looks nervous but smiles, trying to keep his image.
JEFFERSON: “Now now Cap, I am the president of America. I don’t know what you’re implying but—”

22x4 STEVE: “You remind me of a man who lived a long time ago. Including your whole plan for mutants. Thought it seemed familiar.”

PAGE 23

23x1 Steve gets up to leave.

23x2 Jefferson calls out.
JEFFERSON: “Don’t leave, Rogers! Maybe I didn’t express myself the right way… America needs you!”

23x3 Steve turns around.
STEVE: “I know it does, sir. That’s why I’m refusing to follow your, respectfully, very stupid ideas.”

23x4 Jefferson.
JEFFERSON: “Wait! Don’t you care?! Th-th-the American Dream?!”

23x5 We see the exit of the office. Steve is already walking down the corridor (we can’t see him)
STEVE (off-screen): “You and I have very different opinions on what that is, Mr. President.”

PAGE 24
NOTE: single panel, at the entrance/exit of the White House

24x1 Steve walks out of the White House as the president’s guards stare at him.
JEFFERSON (off-screen): “Come back!!! Rogers!!!”

PAGE 25

25x1 Times Square
CAPTION: “Days later in Times Square…”

25x2 On a bench, Steve and Sam, both with sunglasses on.
STEVE: “…so then I left.”
SAM: “Sounds like a real jerk.”

25x3 Steve
STEVE: “You bet he is.”
BILLBOARD (off-screen): “AND NOW, J JONAH JAMESON FOR THE DAILY BUGLE”

PAGE 26
NOTE: single-panel, billboard view, JJJ in a big green background.

26x1 J Jonah Jameson points his fingers at the viewer.
J JONAH JAMESON: “Steve Rogers, America’s villain? Watch this shocking security footage from a pirate attack on a United States container ship earlier this week.”

PAGE 27
NOTE: security cam footage

27x1 Crossbones holds the random hostage and hangs him over the ship.

27x2 Captain America throws his shield at Crossbones, who tumbles down onto the deck, while the random hostage falls over the ship.

PAGE 28

28x1 J Jonah Jameson: “And there you have it folks, undeniable evidence that Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America, is not who we thought he is, demonstrating some grade-A recklessness, not giving a carp about the lives of innocent people like First Officer Simmons.”

PAGE 29

29x1 Steve takes his sunglasses off, worried eyes.
STEVE: “That’s not real…”

29x2 Isometric view of the bench. Steve stands up, Sam looks worried, and people with phones surround them.
CAPTION: “To be continued in ISSUE #2”

boom2ratz wrote:

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Issue #1: AMERICAN DREAM

Fantastic!

Platypus_WKeyboard wrote:

boom2ratz wrote:

CAPTAIN AMERICA
Issue #1: AMERICAN DREAM

Fantastic!

Thanks! I edited some typos and also a scene with the president was messed up, I fixed it here it is:

22x1 Steve eyebrows raised
STEVE: “Hold on. Who doesn’t like you?”
JEFFERSON: “Oh come on, you know. That bunch…”

22x2 Steve leans in and frowns.
STEVE: “What bunch?”

22x3 Jefferson looks nervous but smiles, trying to keep his image.
JEFFERSON: “Now now Cap, I am the president of America. I don’t know what you’re implying but—”

22x4 STEVE: “You remind me of a man who lived a long time ago. Including your whole plan for mutants. I knew it seemed familiar.”

Anyway, any critiques?

boom2ratz wrote:

Anyway, any critiques?

This may be a bit surface level but, more dialogue and voice-over. That may sound weird but hear me out.

A good thing about comics is how it combines the more internal monologue from books and the visuals of film so adding a bit of thoughts for Steve could be interesting.

Since the fight scenes are many dialogues it could be nice to add some to make them more engaging.