WHY MUD HATES KATE SPINE . ( this is about 120 years sines mud did her first kill ) I sat there just looking at the glowing screen on mine pc thinking of them kids “ were have they gone ”? I was asking myself just then my bff came over holding her black handbag in her left hand the one with all of the rings “ hi” she said she leaned over trying to see what's on the pc “ girl why ”? she asked she saw what was on the pc it was newspaper headline saying KIDS MISSING in red “ well um ” I begun “ I'm just trying to find out were the kids have gone ” I said looking at mine wired friend. “ oh ok ” said Zoe walking away “ well good luck ”! she screamed I know I should be going by now I watched Zoe open the door and wave goodbye. I got up and logged of mine pc then walked away when I got out Zoe was waiting for me and was chewing gum I knew she loved gum. we went to our house it was a nice small flat Zoe lived on the one below me I got ready for dinner I had pizza if you what to know it don't really mater what type of pizza it was got into bed closed mine eyes and had a dream. In the dream I had fond out what happened to them kids they were dead I sat up gasping for air “ oh mine god ”! I screamed loudly that night I hardly had any sleep I just looked at the wall in the dark thing of the dream that Moring I fond out someone who has a clue that had taken it to there grave ( its max ) on the stone was the words WHO KNOWS THE ONE CALLED MIA KNOWS THERE REALLY CALLED MUD. " what does that mean? I asked……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. and well that's why mud killed her if u find this cool i will keep doing this.

petme wrote:

WHY MUD HATES KATE SPINE . ( this is about 120 years sines mud did her first kill )
-snip-
if u find this cool i will keep doing this.

Oh, it's very cool! ^w^

Princesse_Princeps wrote:

TheRealNetherBefore wrote:

…Give constructive criticism, regardless of someone's writing level- just saying “This is terrible.” or “This is soo goood!!!” won't help anyone improve… {also} really explore and delve in to the piece, don't just write one sentence on what was good and bad. Looks for trends, patterns and issues in the writing and properly explain how to fix them, giving examples preferably. Thirdly, don't quote the whole piece then give your analysis: to make it easy to read, you should address the scratcher who wrote the piece and then quote where necessary.

I 100% agree. We have lessons on this in school, but it is so true. I hate it when people say “this is terrible” or “BORING” and this applies to so many things.

Thank you! I understand why people often respond like this to things they dislike or think are of poor quality but it's extremely unhelpful as it gives the creator no pointers on where to improve and only succeeds at demotivating them from continuing to try. I feel that critique should always be tailored with the piece in mind, no matter how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ the piece is.
{edit: fixed the quote as it was a bit broken}

petme wrote:

WHY MUD HATES KATE SPINE . ( this is about 120 years sines mud did her first kill ) I sat there just looking at the glowing screen on mine pc thinking of them kids “ were have they gone ”? I was asking myself just then my bff came over holding her black handbag in her left hand the one with all of the rings “ hi” she said she leaned over trying to see what's on the pc “ girl why ”? she asked she saw what was on the pc it was newspaper headline saying KIDS MISSING in red “ well um ” I begun “ I'm just trying to find out were the kids have gone ” I said looking at mine wired friend. “ oh ok ” said Zoe walking away “ well good luck ”! she screamed I know I should be going by now I watched Zoe open the door and wave goodbye. I got up and logged of mine pc then walked away when I got out Zoe was waiting for me and was chewing gum I knew she loved gum. we went to our house it was a nice small flat Zoe lived on the one below me I got ready for dinner I had pizza if you what to know it don't really mater what type of pizza it was got into bed closed mine eyes and had a dream. In the dream I had fond out what happened to them kids they were dead I sat up gasping for air “ oh mine god ”! I screamed loudly that night I hardly had any sleep I just looked at the wall in the dark thing of the dream that Moring I fond out someone who has a clue that had taken it to there grave ( its max ) on the stone was the words WHO KNOWS THE ONE CALLED MIA KNOWS THERE REALLY CALLED MUD. " what does that mean? I asked……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. and well that's why mud killed her if u find this cool i will keep doing this.

So Mud hates Kate because Kate tried to look for the kids that Mud murdered?

cheese-duck wrote:

petme wrote:

WHY MUD HATES KATE SPINE . ( this is about 120 years sines mud did her first kill )
-snip-
that Moring I fond out someone who has a clue that had taken it to there grave ( its max ) on the stone was the words WHO KNOWS THE ONE CALLED MIA KNOWS THERE REALLY CALLED MUD. " what does that mean? I asked……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. and well that's why mud killed her if u find this cool i will keep doing this.

So Mud hates Kate because Kate tried to look for the kids that Mud murdered?

I think so ?

i don't know where else to put this
Do any of you listen to music while writing? If so, what do you listen to?

--_Nova_-- wrote:

i don't know where else to put this
Do any of you listen to music while writing? If so, what do you listen to?

Sometimes, and if I do, normally instrumental music or classical music >u<

--_Nova_-- wrote:

i don't know where else to put this
Do any of you listen to music while writing? If so, what do you listen to?

Yep! I listen to whatever suits the mood of the scene I'm writing, and when it comes to genres, anything orchestral, ambient or traditional will do.

Hahgoot wrote:

cheese-duck wrote:

petme wrote:

WHY MUD HATES KATE SPINE . ( this is about 120 years sines mud did her first kill )
-snip-
that Moring I fond out someone who has a clue that had taken it to there grave ( its max ) on the stone was the words WHO KNOWS THE ONE CALLED MIA KNOWS THERE REALLY CALLED MUD. " what does that mean? I asked……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. and well that's why mud killed her if u find this cool i will keep doing this.

So Mud hates Kate because Kate tried to look for the kids that Mud murdered?

I think so ?

this is why mud hates Kate.

--_Nova_-- wrote:

i don't know where else to put this
Do any of you listen to music while writing? If so, what do you listen to?

yep! I listen to ( mostly ) pop punk music. lol or rock an roll

Hahgoot wrote:

petme wrote:

WHY MUD HATES KATE SPINE . ( this is about 120 years sines mud did her first kill )
-snip-
if u find this cool i will keep doing this.

Oh, it's very cool! ^w^

ok cool! I will keep doing this! ( the spin off sires of mudacarlas! ) this can be called… ( idk )…. the death of Kate spine?

--_Nova_-- wrote:

i don't know where else to put this
Do any of you listen to music while writing? If so, what do you listen to?

I don't really since it kinda distracts me, I find it easier to write when it's all quiet. I do often listen to music while drawing though.

--_Nova_-- wrote:

i don't know where else to put this
Do any of you listen to music while writing? If so, what do you listen to?

I tend to listen to ambient stuff when writing, sometimes tailoring it to fit the mood of the piece (e.g: I've put rain sounds on before when writing a scene in the rain), I find anything more intense than that to be distracting- in fact I only really put the ambient music on to block out the TV and things like that.

TheRealNetherBefore wrote:

--_Nova_-- wrote:

i don't know where else to put this
Do any of you listen to music while writing? If so, what do you listen to?

I tend to listen to ambient stuff when writing, sometimes tailoring it to fit the mood of the piece (e.g: I've put rain sounds on before when writing a scene in the rain), I find anything more intense than that to be distracting- in fact I only really put the ambient music on to block out the TV and things like that.

oof, i used to listen to dubstep while doing homework… i find it hard to get distracted by sound unless im trying to sleep, so i listen to whatever i feel like listening to while writing. usually pokemon ost. though i do have a specific writing playlist, which is mostly ambient stuff.

--_Nova_-- wrote:

i don't know where else to put this
Do any of you listen to music while writing? If so, what do you listen to?

I have a playlist

book two : Kate's b-day. it was sunny and not really windy I love sitting in the sun on the balcony. I know Zoe is going have a party for me she always does “ hi”! screamed Zoe I turned around “ how you got in ” I asked Zoe was wearing a pink dress with a gold belt and holding a red handbag “ well I'm not going to tell you ” she said she sat down and reached for the TV remote “ no Zoe ” I said looking at her Zoe looked at me her brown eyes reminded me of mine first pet dog. “ why ”? she asked “ well the news is on right now ” I told her “ what to come to mine place at 2-o-clock ”? she asked “hmm ok ” I said Zoe walked out of the tinny room and waved before going out. I turned the TV on the news was on “ a over set of kids have being stolen ” she said I leaned closer “ oh my ” I told mine self I ran out of mine room forgetting to lock behind me I stoped running went down the stairs thinking of that grave-stone how did this guy called max know all this? I asked mine self ( here something I never did before ) chapter 2 the room. two super-humans were in Kate's room one girl who had three horns on her leg and was holding a gun the over a guy not wearing a shirt on and had jeans on when his mad he turns into sprit-flame they looked around her room. “AWWW that's cute she thinks she knows what's happening ” grinned the girl stilling looking around “ I know mud will be happy if we get her ”! screamed the guy “ shout up ”! shouted the girl “ but your right ” she replied she bent over a wooden table were some paper were she looked at them “ pick this fur-ball ” she told the guy “ oh Kay ” he said picking them up “ hurry the over one is coming ” she hissed she put her hand in her pocket to get a wired thing that was light grey and very small she putted it down on the floor the thing got bigger. She got on it first and then teleported to muds hide-out then came the guy.

I ran back to mine flat on the third floor and opened the door “ hmm something don't seem right ” I said just then was a flash of pink light “ what was that ” I asked looking around. The door-bell rang I walked over to the door and peeked into the peep-hole it was Zoe “ hi girl ” she screamed I opened the door “ did you see that flash ” I asked Zoe who was looking around “ noo0 ” she said “ Zoe don't lie ” I said “ what the time ”? I asked “ 2-0-clock ” she replied “ oh ok ” I said wile Zoe was walking out the door I didn't wait till she closed the door I walked over to her and walked passed her. THAT NIGHT I was at mine party “SURPRIZE ” screamed everyone Zoe looked happy but what I didn't know was this will be the last party ever! “ so hi ” said one of mine friends Clara Jones ( if this a real name plz tell me ) she had light blue eyes and red hair she wore the same thing Zoe was but was not holding a red bag. “ oh hi ”! I said “ I heard your living in a flat ” she said i rolled mine eyes “ didn't you say you will never live in a flat ”? she asked “ um…? YA I did ” I replied

I am writing a book and I will post it later

I've set a goal to finish the first draft of my book by November 18th (I think) and I AM GOING TO MAKE IT. Now throw all the motivation and intimidation you think it takes to get me to do that. Thanks.

petme wrote:

book two : Kate's b-day. it was sunny and not really windy I love sitting in the sun on the balcony. I know Zoe is going have a party for me she always does “ hi”! screamed Zoe I turned around “ how you got in ” I asked Zoe was wearing a pink dress with a gold belt and holding a red handbag “ well I'm not going to tell you ” she said she sat down and reached for the TV remote “ no Zoe ” I said looking at her Zoe looked at me her brown eyes reminded me of mine first pet dog. “ why ”? she asked “ well the news is on right now ” I told her “ what to come to mine place at 2-o-clock ”? she asked “hmm ok ” I said Zoe walked out of the tinny room and waved before going out. I turned the TV on the news was on “ a over set of kids have being stolen ” she said I leaned closer “ oh my ” I told mine self I ran out of mine room forgetting to lock behind me I stoped running went down the stairs thinking of that grave-stone how did this guy called max know all this? I asked mine self ( here something I never did before ) chapter 2 the room. two super-humans were in Kate's room one girl who had three horns on her leg and was holding a gun the over a guy not wearing a shirt on and had jeans on when his mad he turns into sprit-flame they looked around her room. “AWWW that's cute she thinks she knows what's happening ” grinned the girl stilling looking around “ I know mud will be happy if we get her ”! screamed the guy “ shout up ”! shouted the girl “ but your right ” she replied she bent over a wooden table were some paper were she looked at them “ pick this fur-ball ” she told the guy “ oh Kay ” he said picking them up “ hurry the over one is coming ” she hissed she put her hand in her pocket to get a wired thing that was light grey and very small she putted it down on the floor the thing got bigger. She got on it first and then teleported to muds hide-out then came the guy.

petme wrote:

I ran back to mine flat on the third floor and opened the door “ hmm something don't seem right ” I said just then was a flash of pink light “ what was that ” I asked looking around. The door-bell rang I walked over to the door and peeked into the peep-hole it was Zoe “ hi girl ” she screamed I opened the door “ did you see that flash ” I asked Zoe who was looking around “ noo0 ” she said “ Zoe don't lie ” I said “ what the time ”? I asked “ 2-0-clock ” she replied “ oh ok ” I said wile Zoe was walking out the door I didn't wait till she closed the door I walked over to her and walked passed her. THAT NIGHT I was at mine party “SURPRIZE ” screamed everyone Zoe looked happy but what I didn't know was this will be the last party ever! “ so hi ” said one of mine friends Clara Jones ( if this a real name plz tell me ) she had light blue eyes and red hair she wore the same thing Zoe was but was not holding a red bag. “ oh hi ”! I said “ I heard your living in a flat ” she said i rolled mine eyes “ didn't you say you will never live in a flat ”? she asked “ um…? YA I did ” I replied

Based on my previous comment of how I feel your work might benefit from a proofreader I've decided to proofread your piece and correct some of the spelling/grammar mistakes. I hope you don't mind, I can understand if this comes off a bit rude. Here's what I came up with:

book two : Kate's b-day.
It was sunny and not really windy I love sitting in the sun on the balcony. I know Zoe is going have a party for me she always does.
“Hi!” screamed Zoe. I turned around.
“How have you got in?” I asked Zoe who was wearing a pink dress with a gold belt and holding a red handbag.
“I'm not going to tell you ” She said she sat down and reached for the TV remote.
“No Zoe ” I said looking at her Zoe looked at me. Her brown eyes reminded me of my first pet dog.
“Why?” She asked.
“Well the news is on right now.” I told her.
“Want to come to my place at 2-o-clock?” she asked.
“Hmm.. ok.” I said. Zoe walked out of the tiny room and waved before going out. I turned the TV on the news was on “Another set of kids have being stolen.” she said I leaned closer . “Oh my.” I told myself. I ran out of my room forgetting to lock behind me. I stopped running and went down the stairs thinking of that grave-stone how did this guy called max know all this? I asked myself .
chapter 2 the room.
Two super-humans were in Kate's room: one girl who had three horns on her leg and was holding a gun, the other a guy not wearing a shirt but who had jeans on- when he's mad he turns into sprit-flame. They looked around her room.
“Aww that's cute she thinks she knows what's happening ” grinned the girl still looking around
“I know mud will be happy if we get her! ” screamed the guy
“Shut up!” shouted the girl. “… but you're right.” she replied. She bent over a wooden table were some paper were she looked at them. “Pick this fur-ball.” she told the guy.
“OK” he said, picking them up.
“Hurry the other one is coming.” she hissed, putting her hand in her pocket to get a weird thing that was light grey and very small. She put it down on the floor and the thing got bigger. She got on it first and then teleported to muds hide-out followed by the guy.

I ran back to my flat on the third floor and opened the door. “hmm.. something don't seem right..” I said just then was a flash of pink light- “What was that?” I asked, looking around. The door-bell rang. I walked over to the door and peeked into the peep-hole- it was Zoe!
“Hi girl!” she screamed. I opened the door.
“Did you see that flash?” I asked Zoe who was looking around
“Nooo?” she said
“Zoe don't lie” I said. “What's the time?” I asked
“ 2-0-clock ” she replied.
“Oh, ok.” I said wile Zoe was walking out the door. I didn't wait till she closed the door. I walked over to her and walked passed her.
That night I was at my party.
“Surprise!” screamed everyone. Zoe looked happy but what I didn't know was this will be the last party ever!
“So hi ” said one of my friends Clara Jones. She had light blue eyes and red hair and she wore the same thing Zoe was but was not holding a red bag. “Oh hi!” I said.
“I heard your living in a flat ” she said. I rolled my eyes. “Didn't you say you will never live in a flat?” she asked
“Um…? Yeah, I did ” I replied.

I hope you're happy with the changes I made.

A bit more in-depth explanation of some of the changes I made along with some pointers.

• I noticed that you frequently used “mine” instead of “my”- I've corrected this in the piece but thought you should know since it's likely you didn't.
  
• Another little thing, you put your punctuation on the outside of the dialogue tags rather than the inside.
  
• Once I laid out your dialogue in the proper format I've noticed that you use a lot of dialogue tags, however I've kept them all in the edited version. I assume you do this as in your current way of writing it makes it easier to tell who is saying what however in properly laid out dialogue it's not necessary to have some form of said after every bit of dialogue as the reader can often figure out who is speaking, especially when there's only two people talking.
  
• You could benefit from using more connectives (and, but, because, etc) or punctuation in your pieces as currently a lot of your sentences are the same length and structure- varying sentence length and structure keeps readers engaged.
  
• You sometimes use full caps and incorrect spelling to convey tone (e.g: “noo0”, “SURPRIZE”). This effect is often better achieved with punctuation, verbs and adjectives (Random example: ‘“NOOO” I said’ could be better written as' “No!” I screamed as loud as I could') as they give a neater, easier to read style.