Critiquitaire for @legocookie6 - 599 words

So for chapter two, character interaction is the main thing. You give a lot of description and use many “she”s which makes the text a bit bumpy. I recommend using Selina’s name more often. To avoid the description being too much, you could write about how Selina’s feeling while looking for Kyle. What are her thoughts on seeing him again after two weeks? It will add up to the part when they’re actually telling each other this stuff.

He looked up when she called his name but remained silent. She made her way closer, stopping when she was standing directly in front of him. “What’s going on? Why are you skipping class? How come you haven’t gotten caught?”

You've got these three questions together, and while we talk we do use “ands” So maybe you could say “and how come you haven't gotten caught?”

She shrugged and sat next to him, resting her hands on the floor; it was cold. “Just a feeling.” She studied him again, “You know, it’s been two weeks since I last saw you.”

Saying the floor was cold adds to detail, but unless it has a purpose, I think it's not necessary.

Selina tried not to look disappointed; she thought that he would at least care a little more. Maybe their friendship didn’t mean as much to him as she thought.
“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, “I just… I had a lot going on for the past two weeks. I needed time to think and reassess and-”

I like how Selina's thoughts are troubling her while he's not talking. This is what normally happens to us, we think something until they tell us otherwise.

“But what I hate most of all is myself!” Kyle yelled. There was anger in his voice, but also so much sadness that Selina’s heart felt like it was torn into pieces.

I recommend changing the simile in here to a metaphor. Instead of saying it felt like it was being torn, you could say it was torn. This will add to the impact it gave to Selina.

“I did everything I could to make them proud. I did every stupid thing they asked, but it wasn’t enough. I’m so pathetic that part of me still wants them to care,” he sobbed.

So, normally when we're mad, we don't say things so clearly. To show this is a struggle, I recommend adding some parts where Kyle is having trouble saying things. And example:
I did every stupid thing they aksed, but it wasn't enough. A part of me still wants them to care, and it's just- It's so pathetic. I'm so pathetic!
This emphazises the fact that he is the one who feels pathetic. Not the situation, but himself.

Despite her efforts, as if they weren’t under her control, her hands moved to the back of his head, her fingers slipping through his hair. Their hug lasted several seconds longer than it should’ve if it were between two friends. Their eyes met as they slowly pulled away from each other.

By the context before we understand they're friends, and just a paragraph before you hint they're a bit more than that. Instead of saying the “longer than it should've if it were between two friends”, you could keep hinting that they're more than that, without that sentence the paragraph still shows it. Let the reader know this without actually telling them.

The ground shook slightly and her first thought was that there was an earthquake. But then she heard a loud boom and realized it was an explosion.

This is not on character dynamics, but a small suggestion. Instead of saying it was an explotion, cut it after boom. Again, show don't tell.

The interaction of this two characters is really good. I just have one recommendation. You have a lot of dialogue, and the dialogue tags can be distracting. With the right context, you can avoid the dialogue tags and people will still understand he said that. An example would be here: “But they’re evil,” he whispered. We know Selina just talked, so we can assume Kyle's the one saying this.

Moving on to chapter three. The pace is faster as it is a sort of action scene, meaning the character interactions are different. I'm not an expert on this, but I think if the explosion was that loud, they should have trouble hearing each other.

“I don’t get why the glass broke though!” Selina yelled over the alarm as they carefully made their way through the rubble.
Kyle shrugged, “I guess this building is old. They should’ve updated it a while ago.”

I think this dialogue is a bit out of place. Another explotion just happened and they need to move fast, so Selina probably wouldn't have time or the idea to ask this question.

This chapter is really good! You don't drop the fact that Selina probably has a crush on Kyle, but he's busy protecting her to notice. The character interaction is well balanced with action is this scene. The only thing I noticed is that there are not other characters in the scene. This might be intentional but if it's not you might want to add some background characters.

As a general thing, your writing is good! The character interaction is well developed, and I'd assume Kyle and Selina are really good friends, as he opened up to her. Good luck with your book <3

Daily 15 - 361 words
Write a script and/or of an event of this session or your cabin’s storyline.

Act 1, Scene 1
CAMPER walks through the stage to the center. Ensemble whispers to make echo voices.

RE
(from outside)
You’re good. I almost didn’t notice you.

RE (wearing a dark cloak) runs through the stage around CAMPER. CAMPER looks around for RE.

RE
(extending her hand to CAMPER)
Follow me. It’s time to meet the others.

RE and CAMPER walk out of stage hand to hand.

Act 1, Scene 2
Setting changes to the big room. TWI is standing in the center of the room, on a platform. The rest of the campers are standing around her.
RE and CAMPER enter the room. Re guides CAMPER to the crowd and they stand on a side. RE joins TWI on the platform through the right side.

TWI
Every single one of you was chosen by Prince Felix. Your skills are those he needs to form his new spy net. I am Twi, the Nightingale, and she is Re the Wolf. We'll train you to become the best spies in the whole kingdom. And thanks to us Prince Felix will be the next king.

Campers cheer when TWI mentions Prince Felix.

RE & TWI
Welcome to the Dystopian Spy Society

Campers cheer and split through the stage. Campers walk around as curtains close.


─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
(Verse 1)
They say writing is fun, and i trust them
But they don’t know cabin wars
They don’t know the thrill and the stress of it
They don’t know how many cabins sink.

(Verse 2)
When only one camper is online
The whole cabin will see its demise
That camper will write until their fingers die
And soon another war will break the line

(Chorus)
Write, write, write and write
Don’t let your cabin lose a war
You are the hope of the whole team
When we wake up we’ll come and help you, dear

(Verse 3)
The extra challenge is trying to kill you
You’ve written a hundred rants
And writer’s block has finally come for you
Your poor mind has gone blank

(Chorus)
Write, write, write and write
Don’t let your cabin lose a war
You are the hope of the whole team
When we wake up we’ll come and help you, dear

Daily 17

will do later

Bi-daily 18-19 - 436 words
Create a bizarre picture and then create a story inspired in someone else's picture



Picture used: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/875451501/

In this picture, we can see a group of marbles, which I assume are young, playing hopscotch. Hopscotch is a game I grew up playing, so I’m glad it has passed down to the new generations.

Something really interesting about this picture is the hopscotch uhm drawing itself. Normally the numbers would be 4 on the left and 5 on the right. Or if they were backwards, I think the seven and eight should also be backwards. Something else here is that hopscotch usually has 10 squares to jump in. This one has nine. Maybe it was hand drawn by the marbles at the moment and they got confused.

We see that there are four marbles in this picture, but there is something else in the number six square. It could probably be a baby marble playing with its friends or even siblings. If it is, this would be the youngest child in the group. Speaking with more detail, the youngest child is a small pink-ish thing, which might be a bead.
The eldest marble is probably the one who’s on the hopscotch drawing at square number three. It looks like the biggest marble, and its color is like a dark, metal-y gold.
At first glance I’d say this is the biggest marble, but the green-ish one on the left gives it a run for its money. This marble is brown on the edges with a leaf-like part on the center. If you look closely, you do see something that looks like a leaf inside the marble.
Next to it, there’s a white marble, which is the smallest one, without counting the baby bead of course. That’s pretty much all about it. It’s simple, and probably boring, as it’s nowhere near the hopscotch.
Our last marble is next to the end of the hopscotch. I bet it was the first one to pass through it, and is now waiting for its siblings. Out of the four marbles, this is my favorite. It has three colors: blue, a gray-ish blue, and a purple-brown on the end. This appears to be the middle child, which in my opinion is the most interesting out of the five.

If I had to assume what was happening in this picture apart from the hopscotch, I’d say the children were on a break from school. Their parents asked them to play outside, so the middle one got the idea of playing hopscotch. The youngest one and the second, weren’t so interested, but they agreed to watch the others play. The baby was excited to play, and the eldest agreed out of boredom.

Critique for May - 285 words

Mayyy, this is awesomee! The way you ended the story the same way you started it was really cool. First of all, Rudy's death took me by surprise! It's good to get the tension up like this, but I wish it lasted a bit longer, or that there was a way to built up to it. The pace is slow on most part of the story, which can make the reader loose attention. To help you with this and the last thing, I'd recommend shortening the beginning. You could scratch the paragraph about Mac and Cheese with the bubbles, which doesn't add much to the story nor to Rudy's character.

not old enough to watch red and orange and yellow light bleed into the otherwise darkened sky.

I think this sentence is really good, but i don't know if it matches the “child pov” you've used on the rest of the story.

Listen to anything and everything Rudy says. Check and check.

Check and check sounds a bit weird to me, what do you think about: double check?

Or the time we found a lighter in a kitchen drawer and I started setting our report cards on fire while Rudy kept watch.

Instead of “started setting our report cards on fire”, you could say “set our report cards on fire”.

Or the time he snuck into my bedroom to watch movies all through the night. And when the clock hit two in the morning, Rudy leaned back against a cushion and said, with complete conviction in his voice,

I'd take the “and” out. This way you can keep the short sentences thing going on.

Just you wait.

I can't figure out why, but this sounds a bit weird to me. maybe taking out the ‘you’ might help? tho it might just be me

Rudy didn’t become a basketball player. And he didn’t wake up at sunrise the next morning.

You could use a comma instead of a period here. I think if you can avoid it, you shouldn't start a sentence with “and”. And having a long sentence has significance. Rudy has died and he has to grow up a bit to understand that, therefore he uses a longer sentence.

May, this is really good and you should definitely get it into the writing comp. I'd recommend putting it on the critiquitaire <3

Daily 20 - 432 words
Write a story or fictional essay explaining how a constellation was formed.
Constellation: Capricorn

We all know Capricorn, the zodiac sign of the last and first months of our year, but do you know its story? Do you know how the constellation of Capricorn was formed? If you don’t, you’re in the right place.

The story starts thousands of years ago, in a small town where a mother and her son passed their days. It hadn’t been long since the boy’s father died, and the mother was having a hard time dealing with her child. Without his father to help out, the boy’s free spirit went wild. His mother knew this, but didn’t have the heart to stop his freedom, not after all the pain they had gone through. It wasn’t until things got out of control she learned her lesson.

“Zeth! Where are you?!” Ama, the mother yelled, “You better be in this kitchen in less than a minute!”

There was no response to this order nor the next five. Ama looked all over the house for her son, but he was nowhere in a 5 meter radius. She waited and waited at the door, until he saw Zeth running to the house.

“Where have you been?!”
“I- mom I need your help.” Zeth answered, trying to relax his heavy breathing, “I did something I shouldn’t have done. I think I’m in trouble.”
“What did you do now?” Ama took Zeth by the shoulders. She looked him straight in the eye and knew he had screwed up big time, “Zeth, what did you do?!”
“I swear I didn’t mean to!”

Before Ama could get a better explanation, the Earth started to rumble. From the sky, a woman with a scepter landed in front of them.

“Boy, come here to pay the price for your actions!” Her voice echoed through the woods, “No one steals from me, and goes unpunished. NO ONE.”

The witch used her scepter to make Zeth move towards her, but before she could reach him, Ama got in the way.

“Place his punishment on me, and let my son go free.”
“So be it.” The witch said and pointed her scepter at Ama, “For the goat and the fish your son stole, you’ll turn into both. However, to teach him a lesson, you’ll live your days watching him from afar. You won’t be able to stop him from doing stupidities, nor to take the responsibility for it.”

And that’s how Capricorn was formed, by the love of a mother who had a lesson to learn. Kindness is key, but you also need to be severe to teach your kids right from wrong.

Writing Comp Entry - 1609 words

Is There A Right Choice?

Author's note: This story started as a thought dump regarding choices. It talks about how we always lose something when choosing, and it shows how some of us tend to overthink after making a choice. When overthinking, the first scenario we get is usually one where things go wrong, this is what happens here. Beck looks back on a choice she made and overthinks it. The first two flashbacks are what happened before she had to make a choice, while the last two are Beck creating a scenario for what could've happened after that choice. Instead of recalling what actually happened, Beck decides to think about what could've happened, which tends to be what I do a lot.

What are you supposed to do when you're about to lose someone? Do you let them go? Or do you chase them? Which one is the right thing to do? You love them so much that you respect their decision to leave? Or do you go after them, hoping they'll change their mind? What will hurt less and solve things? I had no idea at the moment, but if I think back, could I get the answer?

—————- ~•¤•~ —————–

“Jenn, come on. We’ve been friends for too long to just cut it off like this!”
“Beck, I’m leaving. Everything is too messed up, and it has been for months.” She pulled out ten bucks from her bag, “Thanks for breakfast, but I am not planning on making things work.”
“Why did you even come here, then?!” I exclaimed. I had to press my lips to keep myself from crying. I was not showing her how much it hurt that I couldn't understand why our friendship was falling apart. Or that it was killing me to know I was the only one hoping things could work. “You knew I invited you to fix our friendship, if you didn’t plan on doing that, why did you bother?”
“Because, if you haven’t noticed, I care. I don’t want you to suffer while I slowly drift away… I really hope you can understand that.”

I couldn’t understand. It was just some effort we needed. I’d go for it, even if she wasn’t sure about it. Would it hurt? More than anything in the world. But if it saved our friendship, it was worth it, even if I tore myself apart in the process.
Jenn said goodbye and walked out of the restaurant. I just looked at her. Pretending indifference was better than tearing up right there, but doing nothing was killing me and my eyes wouldn’t hold up much longer.
Maybe I could tell her everything I’d do to save our friendship; I could try to convince her. I needed to convince her. However, she wanted me to understand and to let her go, and I’ve always wanted to respect her decisions. What could I do to not lose her?

—————- ~•¤•~ —————–

You always lose something when you make a choice, but what are you expected to do when the stakes are this high? A single choice will affect your relationship with this person you care so much for. What are you supposed to do? Stay calm? I was not able to stay calm when the fate of my most important friendship depended on that single choice.
The question has never left my mind, even if this happened long ago. What is the right thing to do? Should one go running for them or let them go?

—————- ~•¤•~ —————–

She was already walking down the block. It was now or never. I really was in one of those moments. The ones you only see on screen, where the character has an important choice and they don’t know what to do. Except this wasn’t a movie. These moments weren’t written by someone who would make sure my friendship worked out. It was only me who could do something to save my friendship. I tapped my finger against my leg; nervous habit. I knew Jenn better than most, what would get her to come back? Did I really know Jenn anymore? What if what I did pushed her further away? I could not risk that. How come I was not sure I knew my best friend anymore? She was no longer my best friend, not unless I did the right thing.

—————- ~•¤•~ —————–

When I think about it, I can’t help but ask myself, if I had chased them, what would I have said? Don't go, I swear we'll make it better? Would that have made me look obsessive? And what if it had just worsened things? Maybe if I had said nothing they would have come back on their own? And what if what I said was not convincing enough? I’d be doing more harm to myself, and what I did would be useless.

—————- ~•¤•~ —————–

Oh screw it. Jenn had to know I wouldn’t give up. Why would she come back if I didn’t give her a reason? I ran out the door and chased her. I needed to be quick, I had to get her before she got in the car.

“Jenn! Wait!” She turned around and gave me that look; the one she’d always make when I did something weird. Her brow furrowed and then she smiled a bit.
“Beck? Did I forget something?”
“No. It’s just, ugh, I know you don’t want to hear anything about fixing our friendship, but please just listen.” I didn’t wait for her to say she’d hear me out, I needed to tell her, “I swear I’ll work for our friendship and make it better. I don’t know what’s bothering you, but I know I can do something to help, whatever that is. You matter a lot to me, like really a lot, and I don’t want us to ever stop being friends. Please Jenn, I’m begging you to not leave me right now.”
“You talk really fast when you’re nervous, you know?” she chuckled, “Look, it’s nice to hear this coming from you, but I made my decision. I don’t know if what I needed before was space, but now there is just nothing to do about it, sorry.”

She gave me a pitying smile and got in her car. As she drove away, I knew that was it. This time, my eyes couldn’t hold up the tears.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe that would’ve hurt less or made her come back. And maybe it would have shown her I love her so much I’d let her go if that’s what she wanted. That would’ve made her think of coming back, wouldn’t it?

—————- ~•¤•~ —————–

Other times, I ask myself, if I had let them go, what if they never came back? Isn't that part of letting them go? What if a few words was what they needed to stay? If I had chased them and talked, would they have stayed? What if by letting them go they thought I did not care enough, and they resented me. I wouldn't want them to have thought our friendship wasn't important enough for me to go after them.

—————- ~•¤•~ —————–

I went back to the table and got my things. Jenn wanted me to let her go, and maybe she just needed some space to come back. Optimism was better than facing what could be reality. On the way home, the only thing on my mind was if I did the right thing. What if Jenn just needed a few more words to come back? But what if what she needed was time? I’d just give her some space, hoping she’d change her decision.

Some days passed before I considered messaging Jenn. When the moment came, I wasn’t sure what to do, so in the end I decided not to text her. Summer break came, and it was the first time I wasn’t with her family. It was lonely, really lonely. I felt guilty, I didn’t even try to get her back. She looked fine though. We didn’t talk, but she uploaded pictures to her instagram every few days. She had been on the beach, we loved the beach. I wondered what it would be like to go without her.

When the break ended, I stumbled into Jenn at our favorite coffee shop. We had always gone there before classes. I was ordering when she came into the store.

“Jenn, hi!” I waved at her.
“Oh Beck, hello.” she said, coldly in my opinion, “What are you doing here?”
“I came for coffee as always. How was your break? I saw you were at the beach.”
“Yeah I was. It was good.”
“Why are you being cold to me?” The words slipped out of my mouth, I wasn’t planning on asking her, but impulsiveness won over me.
“Well, after you didn’t even reach out on summer break I don’t think my coldness should be strange.” she said. She turned around to leave, but then walked to me “I can’t believe you didn’t even think of texting me or I don’t know, commenting on my posts. I really waited for you to reach out, but you never did. I’d just thought you might have cared more.”
“Jenn, I did care, I mean I do, it’s just, well I-” I couldn’t form a coherent sentence. I just didn’t know how to explain it to her.
“Don’t even worry about it. See you at school.”

Jenn didn’t order her coffee, she just walked out the store, and I knew that was it. Maybe I should have texted her. No, maybe I should have followed her that day. Maybe if I had said something, she’d realized how important it was to me. Maybe the fact that I was still trying, would have shown her how much I loved her. That would’ve made her think of coming back, wouldn’t it?

—————- ~•¤•~ —————–

Even after analyzing what could've been, after imagining every scenario, I'll never know what the right choice was. You never know how things will end up. You can plan, but you can't plot every second of your life. That is not how things work. We can't expect to know how an interaction will result. The same way we can't plan what to do depending on the thousands of outcomes. In the end we’ll have to choose, even if that choice costs us a whole relationship.

Critiquitaire for rose - 265 words

Wow. That was my first thought after finishing the story. Rose, you manage to tell what could be told in a novel, in less than 2000 words, without taking away the suspense or intrigue. I loved it. The pace is slow, which adds to the intrigue of wanting to know what's happening.

I'd change the order of the deaths, as I think Mr. Hargrave's death sounds worse than Lady Victoria's. You say each death was crueler than the last one. I think both deaths are cruel and it depends on how you think dying is worst, but regarding like the dramatic effect, I think Mr. Hargrave's is more inventive and it would give a bigger shock if it went after Lady Victoria's.

This cunning mastermind had devised a diabolical plot to eradicate specific individuals of wealth, taking advantage of their journey on the train to carry out these wicked deeds.

You could maybe change “these” to “his” wicked deeds. To emphazise on the fact that these things were his master plan and he is the wicked one, not the deeds. Though they are also wicked, I believe he is more wicked.

The Engineer had tampered with the lock, ensuring that it opened only from the inside.

I'm confused. If the lock could only be opened from the inside, how did Mr. Hargrave open it? I think you should make clear if the case was that he could open it but if it was opened from the outside something would happen.

The villain revealed in their malevolent actions, their rage satisfied with each successful execution.

In here, don't you mean “reveled” instead of “revealed”??

I really like the last paragraph. I think it's cool how it shows that it's the same train that left the other station, but it arrived causing a bigger effect. I think it would be nice to have a bit more detail on how Detective Dalton won the day <3

Weekly 3 - 4064 words
Part 1 - 284 words
Write the outline of your story
Characters: Lilian (mother, main character), Stacy (Daughter), Jason (Team-member), Elisa (Team member), Leo (Team-member)
Setting: The normal world where Lilian and Stacy live. They would live in the city in a small apartment. Just the beginning and some other parts take place here. || The other world is the world next to the normal one. There are many parallel worlds which you can travel to. This world is a big city as well and there are powers and it is normal to have heroes and so.
Main Plot Points:
Lilian gets a call from Elisa telling her they need her again. - There is a new big villain and they can’t defeat it without the whole team.
Lilian escapes for the first time back to the world. - She tells Stacy she has to go to work, which isn’t a complete lie (she justifies her lying with this), and escapes.
They fight a villain again - She gets back with the team and they fight the villain, they don’t succeed but don’t fail.
Stacy finds out about everything - Lilian takes her team to her house and Stacy overhears them. She confronts her mom and Lilian tells her everything.
Stacy gets captured - Jason sneaks Stacy to their world, because Lilian wouldn’t let her. Someone overhears that she is Lilian’s daughter and captures her to take her to the villain.
The team fights - Lilian blames Jason for Stacy’s capture and the team fights about it. The wound of Lilian leaving them for another life reopens.
They get Stacy back - They get together as a team and fight the villain to get Stacy back.
Ending: Lilian and Stacy decide to move to the other world, having Stacy join the superhero team.

Part 2 - 322 words
Write the introduction of your story.

“Stacy! Where did you leave my keys?!” Lilian moved the cushions from one place to another.
“I told you, they’re on the couch!”
“Where on the couch?!” she yelled, “Stace, I’m already late, please come and help me!”

Stacy dropped her backpack and dragged herself to her mom’s side. She moved the cushions around while Lilian looked underneath.

“Wait.” She ran to her room and came back; keys in hand. “Here.”
“On the couch, huh?” Lilian snatched the keys and hurried out the door, “I’ll see you later, and don’t even think of being late!”
“Oh my god Mom, I would never do something like that.”

Stacy looked around the apartment, it was a hot mess. She placed the cushions back in place, washed the dishes from last night’s dinner and grabbed her backpack. Every school morning was like this. One of them would oversleep, they’d make breakfast in a hurry, they’d lose something, and Lilian would leave for work before Stacy left for school.
As Stacy walked out the door, she tried to remember when it wasn’t like this, but that had been so long ago. Her father died when she was seven, and since then, her mother and her had been on their own.

————— ୨୧ —————

Lilian jumped in her car and took off for work. It didn’t matter how much her boss loved her, if she was late again, she’d be in trouble. She had to admit Mary was being soft on her, but they’d been friends for long and Lil had pulled several favors for her.

“Mary, I’m so sorry but I couldn’t find my car keys.” Lilian apologized, but it didn’t seem as if she had heard, “Mary?”
“Lil, I’ve got a big piece for you,” she said, “Come, we gotta talk about it now.”

Lilian followed her without questioning. Mary always knew what she was doing, and if she had a big piece, she had to take it.

Part 3 - 1001 words
Write the rising action of your story.

“You’re home.” Stacy said, while pausing the movie “I couldn’t wait and started the movie, sorry. I can replay it if you want.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll just have to give me a quick catch up.”
“Yeah sure, also someone called about an hour ago. Some dude named Jason who said he wanted to talk with you.” Stacy passed Lilian a sheet of paper, “Here’s the number.”
“What? Jason?” Lilian murmured, “I’ll be in a minute.”

She took the phone and locked herself in her room. This couldn’t be true, there was no way it was that Jason. Lillian dialed the number and waited for a response.

“Hello?” someone said from the other line.
“Elisa?”
“Lil? It’s really you!” she exclaimed, “Jason! I got her on the phone! Wait, let me pass you to Jason”
“Hey Lil” Jason said, “It's been some time, I mean you have a daughter. How's work?“
“Jason what is going on?” Lilian questioned, “You call to my house, my house in my world, just to chat? How did you even reach me?”
“The how doesn’t matter. We need you again.”

Lilian didn’t answer. What was happening to her life? She had just gotten the best piece ever, which was shocking, but this?

“Jason, I left that life behind. I’ve got a job, for God’s sake I’ve got a daughter.” Lilian said, “I can’t just go to your world because you’re asking me.”
“Our world Lil, it’s always been yours as much as it's ours. And now, it needs your help. Please, meet us tonight at base, and I’ll explain everything.”
“I don’t know.”
“You know we wouldn’t ask if it was important. I know you’ll make the right choice.” Jason hung up and Lilian was left in her room, filled with doubts and questions.

There was a creak and the door slightly opened. Stacy popped her head from the opening, ”Everything good?“
”Yeah. I gotta go out quickly, something related to work. Don't wait for me, and go to sleep before eleven."

Stacy nodded and went back to the TV. There was something weird with her mom, and it had to do with that call. Also, who was this Jason dude?

————— ୨୧ —————

Lilian walked to where the portal she knew was. It wasn’t that far, and taking her car could be risky. Before she left the house, she had gone through her old drawers, hoping to find one of her old power controllers. Lillian’s hopes were on not having to use it, but she was better safe than sorry.

She arrived at the place where the portal could be opened, the library. It was too obvious for anyone to think an alternate world would be in a library. That was the reason it was the perfect place. The library was closed, but Lilian knew another way in. She went to the ‘Action’ section and stared at the shelves. She hadn’t gone back in too many years, was it okay for her to go back? She had lied to Stacy. Well technically, she had said something partly true. This was also work, just a different type of work.

“This better not go south.” Lilian muttered as she moved the books around to open the portal.

A circle began to form around the shelf, the portal to another world, Lilian’s original world. When she crosses, dizziness takes over her. She hadn’t done this in at least 20 years. Lilian opened her eyes and found herself in the middle of a street. She was back.

She made her way to base without trouble. The streets were oddly quiet and there weren't many people around. When she arrived, she knocked on the door of base, using their old secret knock.

“We no longer enter that way.” Leo, another team member, made his way to Lilian and patted her on the back, “It’s good to see you, Lil”
“Yeah, it’s nice to be back, but I really need an explanation.”
“We’ll give you one, I swear,” Leo said, “Come, we’ve got a new entrance.”

Leo showed Lilian to the new entrance. It was better, less accessible to prying eyes. Inside Elisa and Jason were talking by a screen. Leo cleared his throat, getting their attention. Elisa laughed as she ran towards Lilian. She smiled and opened her arms for her.

“You’re finally here!” Elisa chuckled, “God, I’ve missed you so much. It has been what, 20 years?”
“Yeah, around 20 years since you left us.” Jason walked towards the rest of the team, “How’s life on the other world?”
“It’s good, I have a lovely daughter and a job I like. More than I could ask for here.”
“Well that’s great. Now you want to know why we brought you here?” Jason said and walked back to the screen, “Elisa?”
“Lil, there’s this new villain in town. He’s scared everyone to the point where the streets are almost abandoned. We need to do something about it.”
“But why did you call me? Can’t you handle him just like you’ve handled other villains? It’s not like there hasn’t been a villain in the last twenty years.”
“Because we’re not strong enough,” Leo said, entering the conversation, “We tried, and we failed. We need you. Please, fight alongside us one last time.”

Lilian looked around the base. She’d made so many memories in that place, but she had new memories, in her new home. She had a daughter to take care of, and she couldn’t just leave her without explanation. Though it would be nice to have a change of scenario after twenty years. This had been her home and her family after all, she owed them.

“I’ll do it, but first I need to sort out some stuff at home.” Lilian said, “You could maybe come with me.”
“We’d love to.” Elisa answered.
“Let’s go then!” Leo exclaimed.

Jason stayed silent, but Lilian took his silence as a yes. She led them to the portal back to her world, which they had never visited.

Part 4 - 1660 words
Write the climax of your story.

Lilian guided the team through the busy streets of New York. She hadn’t been away for long, probably a few hours, yet when they arrived at her apartment Stacy was asleep. Lilian checked on her, made sure she wasn’t cold and went back to the kitchen. There, Elisa was going through her fridge, Leo was looking around and Jason was seated on the table.

“Isn’t this place a bit small for the three of you?” Elisa asked
“Two.” Lilian corrected her, “It’s just me and Stace. It has been for many years.”
“Mr. I’m So In Love I’m Leaving You Guys left?” Jason said in what was almost a whisper
“He died actually, when Stacy was seven.”

Everyone stayed silent. Lilian walked to the counter and took three glasses. She offered her friends water and showed them to the TV.

“You guys can stay here in the TV room. The couch can turn into a bed. I’ll get everything sorted out tomorrow and we’ll leave. And to be clear, I’m helping you with this guy and coming straight back home.”
“Leave where?” Stacy walked out of her room and towards her mom, “Where are you leaving, and who are these people?”
“I thought you were asleep,” Lilian said, “They’re some friends, nothing to worry about. Go, you’ve got to get up early tomorrow.”
“Not until you tell me what’s going on. You can’t just leave at 10 pm on a Wednesday and expect me to not have questions. Especially if you come back with three people I’ve never seen in my life, and talk about leaving again.” Stacy looked at the team and they just looked elsewhere.
“First of all, you shouldn’t be eavesdropping on me. Second, it’s a work thing, I have to work on an important piece, and they’re helping me.” Lilian explained. More lies.
“Mom, I can tell when you’re lying.”
“Guys, could you give me a minute?” Mother and daughter walked to Stacy’s room and closed the door.

From the kitchen, the team could hear Lilian and Stacy’s talk. It was weird, hearing her talk about them as if they were something from her past. They were something from her past, but she was still a part of their present. Elisa took a look at the picture in the TV room. Most of them had Stacy and Lilian, but there were some of Chase, Stacy’s father.

“She really made another life here.” Elisa commented, “Did we do right by calling her?”
“Of course we did. Our city needs us, and we need her.” Jason said, “It’s not like she can erase her past and everything we did.”
“She wouldn’t have come back if she felt it was wrong.” Leo said, “We’re still her family in some way, right?”
“Of course you are.” Lilian walked out of Stacy’s room, and sat on the couch. “We’ll leave tomorrow, and we’ll fight this guy as a team, like we used to do before. When that’s done, I’ll come back home, but we don’t have to lose contact this time.”

————— ୨୧ —————

Jason woke up to the sound of water running. Stacy was in the kitchen, washing dishes. He walked to her and sat on one of the kitchen stools.

“So your mother never told you about us, huh?”
“No, I guess she wanted her two lives not to collide. Kinda hard to do that now.” Stacy chuckled, “What’s there like? The other world?”
“It’s not so different from here, except that we have villains and heroes. The streets are different, and well we live on base, which is way bigger than this apartment.” Jason looked at Stacy and an idea popped up, “Why don’t you come with us?”
“Oh no. My mother would never let me. Yesterday I mentioned it and she went all nuts about how it’s too dangerous. And I have school.”
“Hey, you can call in sick. And I can handle your mother.” Jason got closer to Stacy and whispered in her ear, “Follow us when we leave, I’ll let everyone jump into the portal and then wait for you. We’ll jump together.”
“You’re sneaking me in?”
“That’s right little Lil.”

————— ୨୧ —————
As the team walked through the streets of New York, Stacy followed Jason’s lead. She’d wait for them to enter the library, and when they were in the action section, she’d sneak in. She knew her mom would be mad, but maybe she’d be happy to show her daughter what her life was before.

After the team walked into the library, Stacy entered and looked for the action section. It wasn’t hard finding it, a group of voices and a magical circle around a bookcase didn’t exactly go unnoticed. Lilian jumped first, then Elisa and Leo, and Jason was there, waiting for her. Stacy ran and they both jumped. They landed on the street, and Stacy had to close her eyes for a minute. As she opened them, the only thing her vision could distinguish was Lilian’s face.

“I didn’t know your school was in this world,” she said. Her arms were crossed and her jaw was clenched, “Care to explain?”
“Uhm not really?”
“Who’s idea was this?” Lilian looked at her team, and instantly knew, “Are you out of your mind?”
“Come on Lil, loosen up a bit.” Jason laughed, “I’ll take care of her.”
“I’m not “loosening up”, Jason! You brought my daughter to the place where a villain you three can’t contain is loose.” She changed her gaze from Jason to Stacy, “You’re going back as soon as I figure out how much I’m staying here. Let’s go.”

They made their way to base, without knowing prying eyes had heard their discussion, and they knew how to take advantage of it.

————— ୨୧ —————

When they arrived at base, Leo suggested Stacy to check out the garden. Stacy instantly recognized some flowers from pictures at her house. So her mother had, after all, kept something of this world. While she was walking around the garden and taking her own pictures, the door that led to the meeting room got shut. She ran to it and tried to open it, but it was no use. Two people dressed in black jumped from the roof. They took Stacy, and one of them placed her over his back.

“Let me go!” She kicked her kidnapper. “Mom! Jason, help!”

The door was banging from the inside, but the team was not able to open it. Jason broke the closest window and jumped out of it. He closed his eyes, and the plants from the garden began to grow, targeting the kidnappers. Elisa came out the window and jumped, but instead of falling she flew towards Stacy.

“Don’t worry, Stacy, we’ll get you.” she said as she got closer, but before she could grab Stacy, another hooded figure jumped from the roof, landing on Elisa’s back.

The amount of hooded figures increased, and they began tossing Stacy around. There were too many for the team to keep Stacy on sight. Lilian took her power controllers out of her bag and put them on. She concentrated on her daughter’s image flying back to her. Her hands were in position, and her mind was ready. Stacy floated out of her kidnapper’s hands, slowly making her way back to her mother. She was almost on the floor, when someone kicked Lilian’s side, making her lose concentration. Her telekinesis was immediately out of the game and Stacy fell to the ground. Another figure took her.

“Stace!” Lilian yelled. She tried to concentrate, but now the hooded figures were also attacking her, “Stacy!”

The figures began retreating. Leo used his strength to pull the ones left away from Elisa, and she flew over the building. She came back to find Lilian on the ground, hands over her face.

“They took her, Lil.”
“Why did you bring her?” Her voice was shaky. She stood up and stumped towards Jason, “I told her she couldn’t come, I knew it was dangerous and so did you. Why did you bring her?! If you hadn't brought her, she would be safe at home!”
“Lil, I’m sorry. We’ll get her back, I swear.” Jason said, “I’ll find out where they took her, and we’ll go get her.”
“We shouldn’t be doing this! I should be at home, working on an important piece, and Stacy should be at school. If you hadn’t called me, we wouldn’t be here!”
“We wouldn’t have had to call you if you never left.” Jason snapped at her, “If you hadn’t left, maybe this villain wouldn’t have become so big. If you hadn't left, there would be no daughter for us to rescue.”
“Are you serious?” Lilian scoffed, “My daughter has been captured, and you’re snapping at me because I decided to leave? I wanted a new life, Jason! I was tired of being a hero. And that life was perfectly fine until yesterday.”
“Well I’m sorry, but we need you!”
“He’s right Lil, we need you. We’ve needed you for a long time.” Elisa said and went back inside with Leo, “We’ll help you save your daughter and then you can leave, we’ll handle the villain ourselves. We’ve done that for the last few years and we’ve been fine, we can try again.”

Jason went inside with them, leaving Lilian to herself. Lilian walked through the garden, it was completely destroyed. She remembered all those years ago when Jason had decided to plant it. The whole team had been so happy while helping him. Just like when Elisa wanted to build herself a room on the highest part of base, so she could fly away whenever she wanted. Or when they had to reinforce the walls so Leo’s super strength wouldn’t break them. They were always there for each other, even when she made the decision to leave, they supported her. She owed them a lot, and she was ready to help them now.

Part 5 - 797 words
Write the conclusion of your story.

Lilian hurried to the meeting room. Elisa was explaining the attack plan, but stopped talking when she saw her.
“I’m telling the guys what we’ll do.” she said, “I promise we’ll get your daughter back. And, we’re sorry Lil.”
“No. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I know it was hard when I left, and if you need me, I should be there for you. I’m going to be there.” She took a chair and sat in front of the screen where Elisa was explaining everything, “What’s the plan? We need to rescue Stacy, but we should use the opportunity to beat this guy now.”
“You’re the boss.” Jason said, “We’ll follow your lead.”

Lilian nodded and walked to the screen. She needed the best plan she could make. This time it wasn’t only the city what was at risk, but her daughter’s life. The team reviewed the plan a hundred times. They geared up, just like they used to do in the old times.

“It’s nice to have you back,” Leo said. He patted Lilian’s back. “You’ll see we’ll win, we always win.”

Lilian smiled and followed Leo to the team’s car. It had changed since the last time Lilian drove it. Its purple color was now a dark blue and the wheels had been changed. It looked incredible. Leo, Jason and Lilian got into the car. They would follow Elisa to the meeting point, right outside where Stacy was being kept.

The plan was simple, Elisa and Leo would cause a distraction while Jason and Lilian snuck in to rescue Stacy. They've done this a million times, yet it felt like they were complete newbies.

“Lil, what’s wrong?” Jason asked, shaking Lilian’s shoulders, “You’ve been all stiff since we got in the car. You know your powers don’t work if you’re not relaxed.”
“I don’t know if I can do this.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Jason, I haven’t used my powers in 20 years!” Lilian exclaimed, “You saw how hard it was for me to use them yesterday. What if we fail because of me? I can’t risk that, not when Stacy’s in line.”
“We won’t fail. You’re the best of us all, why do you think we needed you?” Jason said, “I’ll be there, making sure nothing bad happens to Stacy, or to you.”

The plan got into action. Elisa and Leo caused a huge distraction, which involved breaking a wall and throwing eggs at hooded figures. Lilian and Jason snuck from the back door completely unnoticed.

“Where is she?” Lilian asked
“There.” Jason pointed towards the other end of the room, where Stacy was tied to a chair. “What should we do?”
“Leave it to me.”

Lilian closed her eyes and concentrated. I can do this. A small rock made its way to Stacy, getting her attention. Stacy saw her mother hidden behind some boxes, and knew she’d be out of there soon. The strings tying Stacy’s hands were loosened. She untied the ones on her feet and followed her mother’s instructions. Lilian helped Stacy to make her way towards them, pointing towards the boxes she needed to hide behind and when to move. In a few minutes, mother and daughter were reunited.

“I’m so sorry you got captured.” Lilian embraced Stacy in a big hug.
“You’re sorry? Mom, I was the one who came here without your permission. Though I am glad I was able to see what you were like before.”
“Then you’ll be happy, cause you’re seeing more right now.” Jason said, “Watch out!”

A green ray of power hit the boxes they were hiding behind. Lilian looked up, and found the origin of the rays. A figure clothed in purple and black, the villain she’d come to defeat. She stepped out of their hiding spot, signaling Jason to move around the villain. Elisa and Leo were in position to attack from above. Lilian signaled and they all attacked. Plants emerged from the ground, wrapping the villain's legs, but he used his rays to cut them off. Elisa came from above, with Leo on her back. He jumped on the villain’s head, landing with all his super strength. That distracted the villain enough for Lilian to take his ray shooters away with her telekinesis. Leo gave the final blow, knocking him out.

“You did it!” Stacy yelled from across the room, “Mom, you did it!”
“We did it.” Lilian laughed, “I don’t know what I was so worried about.”
“See how easy it was?” Jason said, “That’s what happens when the whole team is together.”
“Stay.” Elisa said, “We need you Lil, and I hope you need us as well.”
“I, I don’t know. Stacy has school, and-”
“Mom, let’s stay.” Stacy interrupted, “This is the real you.”

Daily 24 - 103 words
Blurb of a recent or favorite work
Jo is a lonely detective with one goal, capturing the master criminal Lady Vilee. As a young female detective, Jo is constantly trying to prove her worth. What better than to capture the most wanted criminal of the year? Next to her only friend, Marcus, Jo follows every step Vilee has taken to capture her. Will our beloved detective solve the unsolvable case? Or will she fail to capture this criminal like everybody else? Nothing could stop Jo from achieving her goal, wtih an exception, her sister's disappearence. If she can't find her own blood, what tells her she can find this mastermind?

Critiquitaire for Crim - 577 words

The name Loki instantly got my attention. I take it this is a marvel fanfiction. There were some parts that got me a bit confused and could be clearer, and there were parts were I was amazed by the way you conveyed Loki's thoughts. Regarding emotion, I think you conveyed it just right. His thoughts reflect his feelings, though it would also be good if you could show his emotions by his actions ^^

Loki also liked it because it meant that any spirits in the building would be asleep.

His mysterious friend had come through, it seemed.

The structure you use can be helpful in some areas, while confusing in others. This is an example of it. I finished my thought in asleep, starting the next line thinking it was another tihng. Now I realize his friend came through because the spirits were asleep. I'd change this line to be right next to the other, like this:
Loki also liked it because it meant that any spirits in the building would be asleep. His mysterious friend had come through, it seemed
You could also change the “it seemed” to the start of the sentence. This would help connecting the sentences and avoiding confusion.

Now, you might not think much of it. In spite of his furtive manner and the strangeness of the circumstance, Loki going to a library was not a very unusual thing.

In here, you turn to second person to tell this little detail to the reader. I don't know if it's a pov inconsistency or if this is your writing style <3 If it's an inconsistency, you could change it to: “Now, it might be not much to think about.”

Entering the room sent a thrill through him. The forbidden had always enthralled and delighted him, and this was about as forbidden as he could get.

The “as he could get” make it sound as if Loki is the one being forbidden. You could use “it” instead of “he”. As what's he's doing is what's forbidden.

Surrounded in glass and mystery lay an ancient scroll.

Grammar correction ^^ There should be a comma after ‘mystery’.

Loreo had told him that Loki could not fool any sensors with magic, but he’d promised to cover up any traces Loki left.

What do you mean by sensors? There's no sign of any alarms or sensors on the rest of the story. You might want to check that.

All Loki had to do was collect the prize.

You use his name a lot and that can create some distance with the reader. To increase the drama you could change this sentence up a bit, something like: All he had to do know was collecting the prize

With a wave of his hand, the glass reknit itself.

I've never heard anyone use the verb “reknit” in a story before. It's a nice touch!

Where he was met by three angels in resplendent armor, bearing the seal of the CEO of Heaven himself.

With the structure you're using, the ‘where’ is not really needed, and the sentence sounds better without it ^^

Loki turned, and found himself in front of an image of his patron, his helper.

'an image' makes it sound as if there could be more, so in my opinion ‘the image’ sounds better <3

The air began to warm. Heat waves shimmered in front of Loreo’s apparition.

Where did the heat come from? Or what does it have to do with Loreo? I understand the heat is there to make things hard for Loki, but what's it source? Why is there suddenly heat?

Loreo extended his immaterial hand.

What kind of creaure is Loero? If this has to do with the heat, I think it would be good if you explained it somewhere.

He elbowed the angel behind him in the stomach, leaving her to collapse onto the ground, and another one took her place.

This sentence is long. I'd cut it off after “ground.” Instead of “ground, and another” you'd have “ground. Another”

. It was all he could do to keep moving through the dark halls, feeling as though he was wading through quicksand.

What is all he could do? I'm a bit confused here.

But the angels caught up with him, tearing the precious item from his white, trembling fingers. As they handcuffed him, Loki’s breaths came in gasps, this heat affecting him more than any he’d ever experienced.

Then again, because of structure, I'd take the “but” out.

Loki found it difficult to care where they brought him. Until he was there, in the chamber.

I understand the chamber is important. To add to its importance and drama, I'd take the ‘in’ out. Something like this: Until he was there, the chamber.

Death was more than pain, more than nothingness. No, death was a mirror. Forcing Loki to see the truth.

I like the description of death you make. In here, you could take the “no” out. I don't feel as if it's needed to make the impact of the sentence.

I really liked this story! Your writing style and the structure of the story are really cool. All the suggestions I gave are up for you to take or not <3

Bi-daily 25-26 - 400 words
Try to mimic someone else's writing style.

This is me trying to mimic Moonlit's amazing writing style. I'm pretty sure there are many parts where it blended into my own style, but the intention is what counts.

Time.

It goes on without anyone, waiting for none, and ticking its clock with no patience. To the ones who have regrets, the ones who would go back to fix the unfixable, it’s an enemy. Yet, for the ones who had enough time, enough time for the flames to go out in peace, it’s an ally. To most, it’s a luxury; one which comes fast, and leaves faster, before you can catch it.

A line was created by us, one which divided the way life could be lived, one which described what our lives could be like. It was created by two sides of the same coin, two sides which in a point intertwined. A side known to live looking back at what could have been, a torture which only humans could put upon their lives, living near the edge, but never daring to look past it. A life where we’d hide in our rooms, waiting for the sun to go down, waiting for the day to end, and to make it without bearing risk. To some it seemed like heaven, until they saw the other side of the coin, the side where life ignites a flame that will not end, not until Death has done its job. The side where you jump off the cliff, where you decide not to do something again, where your spirit is satiated by taking a chance at life. A life where adventure was doing anything out of the ordinary, where we would mix fear with excitement, and everything gave you a rush to live.

Once, we were young souls who flew without worry, running through spades of grass not noticing the clock ticking every second, showing the time which was already behind us. Time was not our foe or friend, it passed without thinking about us, watching us run through life without entering it, like a spectator watching the game move on knowing it’s not able to change it. Now, we throw a coin in the air, waiting for its landing to make a choice, which will define how we look at time. Time will be a luxury for us, just like it was before, though now we’ll notice we have a limited amount, and we’ll have to choose a side of the coin.

A coin which was made by us, people who didn’t know how to work hand to hand with time.

Daily 28 - 327 words
have a character write a 300+ word letter to their future or past self :))) by lio

Future Conrad,
Did we fix the kingdom? If we did, does that mean I’m the king now? It’s just been some days since I joined Elison’s rebellion. I’m not sure if this is the right way to fix things, but they are the people of the kingdom. They are the ones who’ve been living in injustice, they should know the best, right? The General has taught me many things in the past days. I’ve learned how to avoid poison, but I’ve also learned about how wrong I was about my kingdom. My parents have been lying to me in so many different ways. I hope by the time you read this letter, you know better than what I did. I hope you managed to help fix the kingdom, no matter how you do it.
On another note, is Leila okay? She’d love to be a part of this, but I can’t put her at risk. What do you think she’s thinking right now? I disappeared suddenly to join a rebellion, right after one of the members tried to kill me. Would she be proud of me for trying to make a change? Is she proud? She is safe, right? If Leila suffered or got any harm because of this, it was not worth it. I kept her far from risk, right?
What about our parents? Did they keep lying and being–are they evil? Did they choose to change and help us? Is Father still king? Did I try to keep my family together while doing this? Or are our parents no longer part of the picture? Did they care? Or at least, did mom care? Did I betray them?
I just hope we did the right thing. And last thing, what about Elison? What happened to her? She doesn’t like me, but I hope she likes you. I hope we fixed things, and if we didn’t, keep trying to fix them.

Conrad, Day 136 on 183 AD

Weekly 4 - 2488 words
Code: | Path 1: ANCIENT, Prompt 2 | Path 2: PAST, Prompt 1 | Path 3: DAY, Prompt 1 | Path 4: FUTURE, Prompt 1 |

Ancient Times - 510 words
Take a popular nursery rhyme and twist the meaning to create the first verse - 62 words
The first time I fell, someone catched me.
The second time, no one was there.
The third, fourth and fifth, were able to break me.
And no kind of force was capable of fixing me.

People came from all over the world
But I was not able to stand up.
They gave me multiple solutions.
But nothing could put me together again.

Flesh out the lore of a worldbuilding aspect of a story you’re working on. - 448 words
Geography
Xantis was an abandoned island due to its mountainous areas. It was hard for people to live there, and it was no use. The island they had was bigger and they had many resources.

When some of the citizens had to escape and move to Xantis, they began living on the lower area of the island. The lower part was mostly a grass plain. The citizens were able to build homes there. They constructed small boats which they used for fishing. Fish was the main food they had. Later, a higher part of the island was explored. There, fruit trees were found. More people moved to Xantis, and its community growed. Soon enough, there were enough people for a leader to be needed. The first ruler was nothing else but a leader, who guided its people to the higher parts of Xantis.

As more people came to Xantis and new generations were borned, people began to explore the highest part of Xantis, its mountain. The leader and its family settled there. This was the place which would later become the castle.

After more time, Xantis was divided into three areas: The lower parts, the higher parts, and the mountain. The geography began to represent the social classes of Xantis. The leader lived on the highest part, while those new to town or those without much to offer lived on the lower areas of the island.

The lower areas of the island had the first homes that were created on Xantis. Even though this was the closest area to the beach, people didn’t have much access to it. The fishing community lived in the lower parts. They were the ones who got the fish, but they wouldn’t be getting much of it, or much profit. The lower area had the docks. From there it wasn’t too far to the other islands.

The higher part was on the mountain’s base. Here is where the fruit trees were located and where most of the businesses were. Clothes were made here. This was the middle class’ area. They were not poor, and they lived good lives, as long as they met their quotas and didn’t disrespect the royal family. This part of the island didn’t have many attractives. It was closer to the beach than the lower part of the island.

The mountain was on one side of the island, opposite to the docks. Around half of it was the beach. There was a path created for royals to get to the beach without too much trouble. From the castle you could see the whole kingdom. It was far from everything, but royals never had many reasons to go to town.

Distant Past - 565 words
Write the pre-chorus for your song using repetition - 44 words
They tried and tried and tried,
But I am broken forever
They helped me day and night,
But I am broken forever.

They carried all the pieces
And tried to put me back together.
But nothing of that mattered,
Cause I am broken forever.

Write a tragic ending for your most beloved character - 521 words

This is not fair.

Conrad moved around his empty castle. He’d been living at this place for the last 21 years, yet it seemed as if he’d never been there. The castle was not the same, and nor was Conrad.

It should have been me.

The Rebellion had given its big blow a month ago. They had won, but at what cost? His sister was dead, and Elison unconscious. She had given everything for this rebellion, and she could not see what they’d accomplished. It wasn’t much different with Leila. She had guided him through everything, teaching him right from wrong, showing him what he could become. She sacrificed herself, so he could live in a better kingdom and become the ruler she knew he could be. But without them, could he do it?

They would both be better rulers.

It had only been one month, and Conrad already knew ruling wasn’t what he wanted. At least not without Leila or Elison by his side. Ruling was lonely. He had no queen to keep him company, nor his sister to be there with him. He had no friends to share all of the royal privileges with.

He looked out one of the many windows in the throne room. He could see the beach from there. He thought of going for a walk, but he knew that not even the beach could take his hollowness away. He needed someone to talk to, and there was only one person he could think of.

Conrad walked through the halls of the castle. The room he was headed to, was on the other side; as far away from his rooms as it could be, to avoid him from being there all the time. He carefully opened the door and entered the darkened room. There were a few candles lit, on one side of the room, illuminating the only furniture in the room, the bed. Lying on the bed was Elison. Conrad pulled a chair and sat at her side. He stroked her hair, something he had never done before.

“It’s me, again. We won, though you must already know that.” Conrad whispered, “I know you hate feelings, and you say they make you weak, but I need to tell you about mine,” Conrad took a deep breath, “I miss you, really. I know I don’t deserve it, but I wish you were ruling by my side. You are the legitimate ruler of this kingdom. Your parents should be able to see you on that throne, not in this bed. I don’t know why, but I always find myself coming back to you. It’s funny how you probably wouldn’t understand it.”

Conrad passed his hand through her face. It was soft, the thing she never allowed herself to be. He left the room, forcing himself to make the same promise he’d made for the past month. He’d rule in a way she’d be proud of him when she woke up. In a way, his sister would know she was not wrong about him. He’d be a lonely soul, but he’d make his kingdom better. For them.

Current Day - 577 words
write the chorus based around an idiom - 50 words
Idiom: a blessing in disguise
Now the tide is taking me away,
And I can't seem to save myself
So maybe this is a sign
There's no fixing me

But the tide washed away my pain,
And it gave me back my strength
So maybe I can finally find myself
Living in a different day

Write a swc fanfiction (min 500 words) - 527 words
Colored smoke surrounded the cabin, announcing the attack upon Dystopian. Most campers weren’t inside. It had been a calm start of cabin wars. There were twenty cabins to attack or to be attacked by, yet Dystopian had had three hours of peace, which were ended by Folklore.

“We’re under attack!” Re yelled as the few spies on the cabin got into fighting positions.
“Hey guys!! You’re kinda chilling and folklore hasn’t betrayed anyone!” Skye exclaimed from below. She was standing right outside the cabin’s entrance with a gray smoke bomb in hand, “Good luck! You’ve got seven hours!”

Re ran frantically around the cabin, she had only found the other Skye to help her. They got into battle stations and began defending the cabin. Not long before the war started, Skye disappeared. There was no sign of her, and Re was dealing with Folklore on her own. She was halfway done with the war when yellow-ish smoke surrounded the cabin. Myth was attacking, but 1 person can’t handle two wars, especially when they’re falling asleep on the spot. Re knew what she had to do. She left her position and ran to the cabin’s meeting room.

Earlier that day, Alba had given every cabin three mangoes. There was a new system for Cabin Wars, (co)leaders and campers had the chance to request for mercenaries to help them out with wars. Re took one of the mangoes, threw a cloak over her head and headed out. Mercenaries were going around from cabin to cabin; she had to go to the “Merc” point and hope someone would be there. She arrived there, mango in hand and a paper with the task. Fi was there, waiting for desperate souls like Re to ask for help.

“Hey Fi, you up for a quick job?” Re asked, “One mango for a thousand words. I really gotta sleep and my campers are not at the cabin.”
“I’ll take it! You go to sleep and I’ll make sure you win that war,” Fi said.
“Here.” Re handed Fi the paper with the war’s info. She hoped he won folklore’s war and the campers took charge of Myth’s war. That’s not what happened.

Re went to bed that night more tired than she had been other days, yet something woke her up early, call it an instinct. She got up to find out they had lost Folklore’s war. Fi has helped with Myth’s war, and luckily many campers were there to win that war. One lost, one won; it wasn’t a bad situation. There were a few hours of peace, then Lyric came and beige smoke was all that could be seen. Re worked on it with Skye’s help, but it was hard for only two people to achieve it. Re took another mango, and this time she found Rose on the Merc point. Same deal as with Fi, one mango to save their butts. The war was won. They weren’t that lucky with Horror’s war, which came later. Mercenaries had a strict working time of 24 hours. You couldn’t request their services after the day ended. Two wars were won, two were lost.

Distant Future - 469 words
Google the most famous songs and write a bridge based on the first title you don’t know without listening to the song or checking the lyrics - 61 words
Song: Good Vibrations
The good vibrations are what saved me,
Giving up the bad to let the good get in.
I just had to let everything go,
So brand new things could come to me.

I learned that maybe I’m not broken,
I had to give up the negativity.
And good vibrations are what fixed me,
So let them come and go anywhere freely.


Write about the food you might find in a future on the Galaxswc - 408 words
Obviously there must be mangoes in the Galaxswc, so the first food I imagine is this wonderful mango based dish. People normally start with healthy food, but we know swcers would start with dessert. The Galaxswc would clearly have a wonderful mango cake. Picture layers of mango and smashed cookies. Many thin layers that build up to a delicious mango cake. No frosting, because we don’t need it. Mangoes are delicious enough, and to make the eating an even better experience, there would be small chunks of mango in the cake. Doesn’t that sound delicious?
The next dish in the Galaxswc’s future, is a breakfast dish, because as we all know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. We all love taking inspiration from our environment, and most of us–I hope, love cereal for breakfast. That’s why I see Word Cereal in the Galaxswc’s future. You’re eating breakfast, enjoying the multi-flavored cereal, when a phrase gets formed. It might be an unimportant phrase, or the new greatest writing prompt. I’d really enjoy forming stories while I’m starting the day, or ending it. While it might be a little distracting, it’s delicious and full of inspiration.
Next, I think swcers are people who’d like soup. The Galaxswc would have a gigantic variety of soups, obviously including pasta letter soup. For those of you who don’t know what this is, it’s letter-shaped pasta in a tomato broth. It’s really easy to make, and I’m sure most swcers would enjoy it.
When talking about drinks, I think smoothies. The Galaxswc probably has hints to cabins all around, so what’s one more? I’m thinking cabin inspired smoothies. The color of cabin colors, with flavors of what we think cabins would taste. For example, for Dystopian, at the moment I would think of a dark blue smoothie made out of blueberry. Each season (session) the smoothies would change, just as cabin’s themes change. Maybe Dystopian is a strawberry smoothie next season, as the theme changed to something completely different.
Lastly, I think of cookies of course. They would be Chai cookies to honor the great number of swifties in SWC. However, cookies with ibexes, goats, and other SWC inside jokes painted on the frosting would also exist. Though the Galaxswc would need a system to make sure no poisoned cookies are given around. We’re not sure when enemies would want to strike, and there’s nothing more vulnerable than a hungry writer.

The End - 367 words
Repeat your chorus but change words to introduce nature imagery - 51 words
Now the tide is taking me away,
The sound of the waves pierce my ears
So maybe this is a sign
There's no fixing me

But the tide washed away my pain,
The sand cleared all the bad feelings
So maybe I can finally find myself
Living in a different day

Write a narrative where you woke up and it was all a dream (min 250 words) - 316 words
I couldn’t slow down, not if I wanted to get out of this. It was easy, be the first one to reach the finish line and you’d be free. It was a weird way to exempt an exam, but everything was weird with this teacher. I just needed to win the race and everything would be okay. I could not fail this test, and exemption was the only way for me not to do that.
I wasn’t far from the finish line, and there was only one person in my way, Soph. I could win. She was fast, but I had better endurance. She was probably already tired and would soon slow down. I was also tired, but I was not slowing down for anything in the world. Soph was my friend, but there was no way I let her win this race.

“You tired yet?” I yelled at Soph. I probably shouldn’t talk, but I needed her to be tired, even if it tired myself “It’s just a test! You don’t need to exempt it!”
“But I want to! And I will!” She yelled back. “I guess you’ll have to study!”
“Come on, Soph! You know I’ll fail if I don’t win!” I put my hands together in front of my chest. I could run and do a “please” sign at the same time. “Please, just this time!”
“You already know the answer.”

This little talk tired us both, but it was just what I needed to cut off the distance between us. The finish line was right up front. Soph and I were always competitive, but this was the first time it actually mattered who won. My legs were killing me. Just a few more steps and I’d be there.
My alarm went off. Pulling me straight out from my dream.

“No! It was a dream”” I punched the bed sheets, “Who won, though?”

Thank You Notes - 1284 words

Hosts: Thank you all so much for everything you’ve done for SWC this session. I’m sad I can’t thank you all individually, but I did not interact much with any of you. This session was so great and it was amazing to see soo many cabins. All the ideas that have been brought by this team are incredible. Mercs were a genius addition to cabin wars! Happy end of session to all of you. I hope you’ve enjoyed planning the session as much as we’ve enjoyed being in it. We can all say you’re masterminds.

Daily Team: I loved the weeklies this session! I bet this chaotic group has the best ideas ever, cause the dailies were awesome. I think I know people better here, so Imma try to thank each of you individually.

Alba: Alba! I’m so happy you came back to being a host and part of the daily team! You're a big part of SWC and we all love you so much. Your energy is unmatchable, and you bring this light to the room which makes SWC so enjoyful. Out of topic, but your singing and songwriting skills are so impressive. I hope next session you’re also around!

Moss: ahh Moss! How many times am I gonna thank you for giving me the chance to know how awesome (co) leading is? I don’t know, probably a lot. Sci-Fi was incredible this session. If I had been a camper, I would’ve obviously chosen Sci-Fi. I mean, Star Wars themed cabin :0 Thanks for letting me be a ghostly force ghost. You are an awesome person, leader, and friend! Thanks so much for checking out my writing comp entry and giving me the boost I needed to make that piece. We’ve known each other for a year, and it’s so cool seeing how you’re going up in the SWC ranks of awesomeness. I hope you had an awesome session, I’ll drop by your profile soon <3

Zai: First, a piece of lasagna for the best polar bear. I know we didn’t talk this session, and I don’t think we had any sessions before, but thanks for all your contribution to SWC! You are such a cool person, and it was really funny watching you answer comments in the last weekly with TS lyrics.

Robin: hey Robin, how are you?? We haven’t talked in ages, probably since Myth Maze?? My thanks are probably the same as the many you get. Anyway, thanks for everything you’ve done for SWC. Being a host and a daily team member is obviously a big job, so thanks for being so committed to our chaotic community.

Finley: I’m pretty sure we haven’t talked! Poetry was such an incredible cabin, and you were an awesome leader!! I hope next session you’re around so we can chat a bit.

(Co)Leaders: I didn’t talk to most of you (as always ), but everything (co)leaders do is so amazing and important to SWC.

Twi: Twiii, thanks for choosing me to help you out with Dystopian. Being able to co-lead my dream cabin was incredible! You were so kind and nice with me the whole time. You have wonderful ideas, and I hope to see you soon!

Iris: You were wonderful leading lyric!! I know I was right when I told you you’d be an amazing leader. I was so happy to see you around again, and I hope we’re in the same cabin soon! I love your love for Tay, and maybe soon we can talk about her! Btw, I’d love to read some of the things you wrote this session!”

Soki: Ahhh Sokii, I hope you get better soon!! Rest a lot, and I hope that concussion goes away. Script was awesome and I’m so sad we weren’t able to chat a lot this session. I’ll drop by your profile soon to talk about Ahsoka!

Luna: Lunaaa! You were awesome this session as always! All the ideas you have are so incredible and I’m so happy you are part of SWC! Hopefully we’ll chat soon as it’s so joyful to talk with you about Star Wars.

Moonlit: Miss Moonlit!! Thanks for putting up with our lateness with deadlines. You were the best co Sci-Fi could have and I’m happy I could be around to see your incredible lead! I adored trying to mimic your style (which is amazing and leaves me speechless every time), and I hope one day we get to lead together or be in the same cabin! See you next session <3

Reese: Reese! It was awesome chatting with you at the start of the session and I hope we do it again soon! Folklore was incredible, though Skye gave us quite a bit of a challenge in cabin wars.

Niko: Nikooo! It was incredible seeing you this session again! You did awesome as a co, just like last time! I love talking to you and thanks for checking out my writing comp entry! By the way, I loved your pfp.

Crim: Crimmm, your critique was so precious to me. You were the last person who critiqued my entry, and your feedback was incredibly helpful. Your writing is awesome and I love your style and the way you convey emotions and thoughts.

Fi: Ahhhh my Cabin Wars savior!! Fi, thanks to you I slept enough that night. Thank you for being up to writing for more cabins apart from yours! It really helped many of us. You’re the best!

Rose: Rosee, we critiqued each other a few times as well as I think did a word war?? I love your writing and giving you feedback on it was pure joy. Your critiques were really helpful and your perspective on my writing has helped a lot! Hopefully we can chat soon <3

Alana: Alana! We didn’t get to rañk this session that much! Either way, thanks for running the memory book committee this session!

Dystopian: Thanks so much for everything this session! It was incredible co-leading Dystopian, and it was a great cabin! I loved meeting the ones I met, and you were all awesome!!

May: Ahhh Mayy! You were the one I got to know the best, and I’m so happy I did. You are so kind and funny, and talking to you is a joy! I loved doing the writing activity about each other and critiquing your work is something I adored. You’re a talented writer, and I hope you’re around next session! I’m sure you’ll do awesome in the writing comp!

Iri: Iri, you were such a dedicated writer this session and possibly the one who wrote the most all the session!

Skye: Skye, I loved being in the same cabin with you again! You were the best in cabin wars, and I’m so thankful for you helping around. You really made everything easier and I wish there was a way I could thank you for it!

Sophie: Sophie, I almost didn’t see you all session, but while I saw you I was reminded of how incredible you are. You are so funny and joyful! Thanks for helping in Cabin Wars, and I hope you liked the session!

Kim: Kim! You were sooo active and helpful the first two weeks! I was so happy to meet you, and to be able to co-lead the cabin you were in. I hope everything was good these last 2 weeks I didn’t see you that much.

Mokshi-tha: Mokshi-tha, you were really nice to meet! Your way of talking makes you sound so nice, and I hope to chat more soon! I’m really happy you got to meet your word count, and I hope to see you next session <3

Daily 2 - Letter to Future Self | 353 words

Dear Future Re,
You’ll make it, I know you will. Christmas is coming soon, don’t let this little bump drive you out of your mind. Use SWC as a way to escape, you know it has always helped. Try to start your novel, it might help as well. Writing has always helped you express yourself, let your emotions flow with the keys. Nothing should stop you from living, and this won’t. You’ll figure it out, and meanwhile you can vent about it, you can write poems, you can do many things. Transmit everything through writing and dance.

This SWC I really want to focus on my writing style and figuring out how to make the novel mine. Check your characters, you’re breaking yourself into them, not just creating them. Remember who they are supposed to be, and what part of yourself they are. You should develop them well, but you are also getting to know them in the process. We’ve been stuck on Conrad for ages, let’s try to get to Elison soon. She’s more complicated, she’s that part of you. Embrace it, and let her come out of your mind and into the pages.

This session you’re a camper, that means way less pressure. Try to enjoy it. Try to get to know your cabin-mates and to hang out with your SWC friends. Pay visits to people’s profiles, hang out in the Main Cabin, but most importantly enjoy writing. It’s no use if you’re writing ten thousand words because you had to. If you hate those ten thousand words, what’s the point?

I’m sure you’ll have an awesome SWC, and even if you don’t, it’s okay. You are trying to do these things, but there’s nothing that says you HAVE to accomplish these goals. I hope you don’t, but if by any chance you drop out, remember it’s just a camp on scratch and you can come back in March. Please just enjoy SWC and don’t forget to add your words because you’re like that, write everything down and you’ll be fine.

Have a good SWC, Re from November 1st of 2023.

Daily 3 - Character dynamics related to fall | 542 words

Spring

Spring, the season of growth, of new beginnings, and hopefully of new love.

I was humming along to Riptide by Vance Joy on my way to work. I loved walking through the park each morning, observing people and having a playlist for each season. My mornings were the same each day, I walked to work through the park and bought a coffee at the store in front. Spring had just started, but I wasn’t expecting any difference.

I pushed the door at the coffee shop, but it wouldn’t open. Why should it? The sign I ignored for the thousandth time in my life clearly said “Pull”.

“What an idiot,” I chuckled. I did this every time.

Before I could try pulling the door, my head got hit by it. The blow stunned me, making me stumble backwards. I nearly fell to the street, but a hand grabbed me before a car could run me flat over.

“Now that doesn’t happen every time,” I whispered as I caught my breath, “Thank you.”
“I’m so sorry! I couldn’t see you through the door.” I raised my head to meet a–must I say–handsome face.
“Oh don’t worry, if I had pulled the door from the start we wouldn’t be in this situation.” I steadied myself and took a second look at him, “I’m sorry, have we met before?”
“I don’t think so, but I’d love to meet you over a coffee. Let it be my way of apologizing for almost getting you run over”
“Well, I do need a coffee, and after you saved me accepting is the least I can do”

Summer

“It’s halfway through summer mom, I think I deserve a vacation” I said. Even through the phone I could hear her nervousness, “Yes mom, he’s a good man. Yes mom, we’ve been dating for a few months now. Look, I’ll call you later. Yes, I love you, bye.”

I sighed as I closed my suitcase. My mom could be too much sometimes, but that wasn’t what was bothering me. She wasn’t the first person who had doubts or comments about Will. My friends said something about him was off, and my sister said she knew him from somewhere. It was terribly annoying, and while I loved them, I trusted Will.

Fall

I shouldn’t have trusted him. Why did I trust him? I should have seen the signs, they were right in front of me. It took one coffee for me to trust this man, and even in that first meeting he lied to me. “I don’t think so, but I’d love to meet you over a coffee.” BS. I grabbed my things as I thought it all over. Will knew I went there every morning, it had all been planned, and for what? So he could try to steal my job, my money, my life.

I guess there was a reason it was called fall. It was the season when things fell apart, or in my case when pieces fell into place, just like autumn leaves.

I took a last look at the room. I was really planning on moving in with him. I turned the knob and walked out. He’d be home soon, and by then I’d be long gone.

Daily 4 - Constellations | 410 words
Constellation: Ara - The Altar

I’d move the sky for you, my love.

You did.

I’d give everything for you, my love.

You did.

I’d fight the world for you, my love.

You did.

I’d die for you, my love.

I’d die for you, my love.

I’d die for you, my love.

I died for you, my love…

Why did you?


The rain washed away any sight of it, of you. It became a meaningless spot in a meaningless world, when it had been so much more.

The altar was the place of crossing, of entering the unknown. I never meant for you to enter.

On one side of it, we built our love. On the other, you were torn away from it, and me from you.

The altar gives, but it took from me. It took you.


“Don’t go. You won’t be able to come back.”
“Nor will they. Ridding our world of these demons is all that matters. We created this altar to bring balance for our people, if they destroy it everything will be gone.”
“It’s not worth it, you’re not worth it.”
“But you are, and if this saves you, I have to do it. I can't let them destroy everything we've built.”
“No. Let us fight it together, please. We've done it for years. I'll take this last fight."
“I can’t let you do that. I’m willing to do anything for you, you know it. I’d move the sky for you, my love. I’d give everything for you, my love. I’d fight the world for you, my love. I’d die for you, my love. I’ll come back to you, my love, and I’ll win for you, my love.”


Did you win? I’m alive, but you’re not. I survived the war, but you did not. I’m going on with my life, but you’re not. I’m here, but you’re not. You’re there, on the altar, but not the one we knew. No, you’re on the altar in the skies. The skies you moved for me. The skies that have you trapped, away from me. The skies that are too far from where I am, and way too far for me to reach you.

The altar was the place of crossing, it was a pathway. However, it was one way; you could go through it, but you couldn't come back.

The altar is gone, and so are you. A meaningful place it was once, but the meaning of it I can no longer find.

No one can cross again, not me, not you.

The altar brought us together, and now it’ll keep us away forever.


I’ll win for you, my love.

You did?

I’ll come back to you, my love.

You did not