Daily 2 - 400 words
claim 5 words from the main cabin and write a short story

Words: death, wilted, dusk, sea, brisk

We walked through the beach; waiting for dusk to arrive. I had never been this close to the sea. Only those who lived closer to the castle were able to come here. I obviously wasn’t one of them. It was weird, walking here with Conrad like we hadn’t been close to death hours ago. I guess this was his way of getting things off his chest.

“Why are we here?” I asked him, “I know you like the beach, but shouldn’t we be hiding or planning a new strategy?”
“No. I want to be here,” he answered, “Just until dark. We’ll leave then. It will be harder for anyone to find us if we move through the shadows.”
“Okay, but we gotta head towards town. John is probably scared to death.”

I looked at Conrad, there was something weird with him. He wasn’t his usual light self. He looked like a wilted flower, I’m sure he felt like a wilted flower.

“He’s willing to use her against me…” he whispered, “You were right all along. He is heartless.”
“You’d have to notice sooner or later, be thankful it was sooner. Now we can concentrate on the objective without your care for your father being an obstacle.” I told him, “Pain forms us, it makes us who we are. This will help you, you’ll see.”
“Are you really telling me this?!” He exclaimed, “What’s wrong with you Elison? Why can’t you be sensible one time!”
“I- I don’t know what you mean.”
“My father is willing to use my sister against this rebellion. He is willing to sacrifice his daughter, who he knows is important to me, just because he hates me that much. If he didn’t like me, guess how he took me joining the rebellion against him?! Why won’t you open your eyes Elison. Not everything is about war! I really thought you had feelings somewhere inside, but you really are just a soldier made for war.”
“Feelings are weakness, Conrad! You are the one who should open his eyes. This is what he wants, to make us doubt ourselves. If I had let feelings cloud my mind, I wouldn’t be here. I’d be dead. And so will you be, if you don’t ignore what you feel.”

He walked away briskly, heading to town. He was being careless, just walking like that without being alert for patrols.

“Conrad, wait!”

Feedback for May - x words

Music pounded against my skull like a hammer's blow, and I had to lean against the wall to gather my bearings. Dizziness clouded my mind like a spell, and the sticky humidity clung to my skin until I felt bile rise up my throat. I closed my eyes, breathing in, and opened them again. I wanted to retch.

I'd divide the first sentence after ‘blow’ with a period, as you have another sentence with ‘and’ right after. In the last sentence the ‘breathing in’ sounds a bit out of place. Did you mean ‘breathed in’ maybe?

I wanted to touch a star, a supernova. I wanted to feel that heat, the scalding burns of something so nebulous, so unstable. Something ready to blow – like me.

This paragraph is really captivating! The word use and structure is really nice <3

I don't have much else to say, May! This is a really good piece. The way you divide paragraphs, really delivers the importance of certain things and the feelings of others. There are some parts with words that while they give the piece a better ‘look’ can confuse you. I'm not really sure what else to say, than wow. I'd love to read more of your writing <3

RLove10 wrote:

Feedback for May - x words

Music pounded against my skull like a hammer's blow, and I had to lean against the wall to gather my bearings. Dizziness clouded my mind like a spell, and the sticky humidity clung to my skin until I felt bile rise up my throat. I closed my eyes, breathing in, and opened them again. I wanted to retch.

I'd divide the first sentence after ‘blow’ with a period, as you have another sentence with ‘and’ right after. In the last sentence the ‘breathing in’ sounds a bit out of place. Did you mean ‘breathed in’ maybe?

I wanted to touch a star, a supernova. I wanted to feel that heat, the scalding burns of something so nebulous, so unstable. Something ready to blow – like me.

This paragraph is really captivating! The word use and structure is really nice <3

I don't have much else to say, May! This is a really good piece. The way you divide paragraphs, really delivers the importance of certain things and the feelings of others. There are some parts with words that while they give the piece a better ‘look’ can confuse you. I'm not really sure what else to say, than wow. I'd love to read more of your writing <3

thank you so much, re! this was really helpful, i'll definitely be incorporating your suggestions - thanks again, it means a lot <33

daily 3 - 521 words
truth or dare

dare: write 500 words but you can use 5 periods.

He looked at me like a was a prize he had just won; everyone looked at me that way, and no one ever regretted doing it, because no one ever thinks twice when they see me–when they see a prize that will make a good addition to their collection; a collection of freaky and interesting stuff, like me.

“Come over, come over and look at the mermaid,” the announcer yelled, “The first real mermaid caught by humans, and it’s here for you to see it! Whoever wins the great game, will be able to win the mermaid as well! You get three chances to win her, and with a little convincing, maybe more chances. Who will be the brave one to try and win the prize?”
“I will,” a man wearing a suit said as he walked towards me; looking at me with desire and ambition in his eyes, “I’ll win this mermaid, and I’ll win every mermaid you catch, do we have a deal?

He took money out of his pocket and showed it to the announcer of the game; that amount of money was more than enough to convince him of giving him every mermaid in the next year, so he wouldn’t say no, as he’d never dare to do anything that wouldn’t benefit him.

“We have a deal kind sir, and are you ready to play the game or is that not necessary?” the main asked, “Here, take a chance and try to win the game! You lose nothing at all, and I’m sure you’ll have fun!”
“Well, let’s give it a try, cause it doesn’t matter if I don’t, right?”

He took the ball, looked directly at the bottle, looked at me, back at the bottle and then threw the ball; it hit the bottles directly, and even if he hadn’t won the game he would still have me, because he is so horribly rich that he can’t buy anything, even living things like me–like us, like all the mermaids who will soon be part of his collection, a collection from which I am now the first piece. Right after he made the bottle drop to the floor, he took another ball and shot at every bottle he could; he didn’t fail once, and it was obviously just showing off that even without the inmense amount of money in his possession, he would get every mermaid for himself, and that made me so mad!

“So, how will you give me my mermaid? You are not expecting me to carry her all the way to my home? I mean it would be crazy, and a man like you must know that what I payed includes all of the services that comes with me aquiring this mermaids, right?”
“Of course my good sir, I will make sure someone delivers this mermaids to you!” he exclaimed and then looked at me, “It will be no trouble, and am I wrong to believe that this little mermaid here won’t cause any inconvenience?”

Fire emerged from my eyes as my gaze set on the announcer, and now seller of my person.

daily 4 - 438 words
rewrite a part of an original media as a bi-fi fanfiction, including 2 bi-fi twists.

twist 1: everyone finishes every sentence/paragraph they say with musical lyrics - –trainquility
twist 2: they realize a book/show/movie is being made about them during the scene - TrellD

“Just as I was saying the other day, everything is hereditary. The bad blood prevails. And I mean nothing bad agaisnt your family, dear Petunia.” Aunt Marge said while patting Petunia’s skinny hand, “your sister was the black sheep. Every family has one, but she escaped with that man, and well baby now we got bad blood.”

Harry looked at his plate, trying with all his might to concentrate in his book, but Aunt Marge’s voice seemed to drill his head like one of Uncle Vernon’s drills.

“That Potter,” Aunt Matge said as she served herself more wine, “you never told me what he did for a life. Also, thanks Vernon, the wine is cold.”

Dudley raised his head from his cake to look at his very tense parents.

“Uhh, he.. He did not work.” Uncle Vernon said finally as he shot a look at Harry, “He was unemployed, the worst of crimes.”
“Just what I imagned!” Aunt Marge exclaimed, “He was useless, a lout who-”
“He was none of that, and you’re still a traitor.” Harry interrupted suddenly and shot a dirty look at Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. He had never been so angry in his life.
“WHO WANTS MORE BRANDY!” Uncle Vernon screamed as some color returned to his face, “And you boy. To your bed. I’m telling you…”
“No Vernon,” Aunt Marge said as she drank, “Go on boy, go on. But first, someone turn that light off, it’s hurting my eyes. You are so proud aren’t you? So proud of those parents of yours who got themselves killed in a car crash. I assume they were drunk in the back of the car.”
“They did not die in any car crash, and it’s getting crazy.” Harry replied. He stood up without being conscious of it and instantly noticed what light Aunt Marge was talking about. Harry looked towards it and noticed it was more than one light. They were many lights, and in the center a big camera, right in front of them. They were being recorded.
“Don’t ignore me boy! They died on a car crash and they left you to be a charge to your hardworking uncle and aunt!” She yelled, “You are an insolent boy, and you-”

Aunt Marge stopped talking. It was as if every word had made her inflate. Every part of her was getting bigger. The buttons from her jacket exploded in every direction, as she blew up like a balloon. Harry looked at her shocked, but pleased. He looked at the lights again and saw everything was still there. Then, he heard a faint scream, “cut!”

daily 5 - 222 words
look to your left. make a smoothie out of the thing you saw first. write about it.

I looked to my left, and guess what I saw? Books. A book smoothie sounds like something I would actually drink. I’d make many smoothies, because I happen to have a lot of books. Each smoothie would be the color of the book’s cover. So for example, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone’s smoothie would be black with some orange dots. Not exactly an appetizing color. But, Better Than The Movies would be bright yellow, which I like better.

I’d like to think these smoothies would allow you to picture the book with clarity in your head while reading it. Maybe there are different kinds of smoothies. One lets you just picture the book from a 3rd person perspective, while others makes you experience the book as one of the characters. If I drank a Better Than The Movies smoothie, I’d definitely drink one that makes me experience it as one of the characters.

I have too many books, but there are a few I’d definitely drink a smoothie for. These smoothies would help people who can’t picture things easily, like me. At first, I only see the words. But if I concentrate, or if the book is really good and it sucks me in, I can picture some parts more easily. I’d enjoy these smoothies too much if I’m being honest.

Mission 3 - 397 words
Take two fun facts from someone else and write a short story with them.

Fun facts from may <3
1) i once climbed out of a window and landed on the balcony.
2) i have gotten hit by a ball in the face more times than i can count

This was it. It was the last day of summer break, of freedom. My friends and I agreed on doing something insane: sneaking out at midnight to run around town. I obviously agreed to it, even though I had no clue how I would sneak out. We had done many things this summer, but this night would definitely be the highlight.

It was ten past eleven and I was still pacing back and forth waiting for an idea to hit me. If my parents caught me, I’d be grounded for the whole school year. I pulled out my phone and texted my best friend.

me: how am i supposed to get out?
her: idk girl, just don’t be late to the meeting point.
me: i’ll definitely be late if I get caught
her: then don’t! you’ll find a way! I’ll be outside your house in ten min so we walk together to the meeting point
me: okk

I had ten minutes to sneak out without being caught, no pressure. I looked down the window and that’s when it hit me. The window on the TV room was right above the neighbor's balcony, and the balcony wasn’t too far from the ground.

“I guess, I’ll die tonight.” I thought to myself.

I opened the door and with shoes on hand, tiptoed to the TV room. I opened my escape door and felt the night air on my face. This was nuts. Slowly I climbed out the window; my hands were the only thing still in my apartment. I looked down, and without thinking twice I let go. A loud stomp was heard when I landed, probably loud enough to wake up the neighbors.. After two minutes of complete silence, I climbed off the balcony as well.

“Now that was some great escape,” a voice said behind me. My best friend was there, phone in hand, obviously recording my climb.
“Let’s go, we don’t want to-” I stumbled backwards as a soccer ball bounced flat on my face.
“Sorry May!” another one of my friends yelled
“I thought you were coming alone,” I murmured as I held my nose, it was bleeding.
“I was, now you can see I’m not.” she laughed, “Let’s get you some tissues.”

What a way to start the night, being hit by a ball on the face. What a great night it would be.

Bi-daily 6-7 - 446 words
Write a song in at least 300 words

Verse 1
She was enchanted to see you there
The storm in her heart finally brisked away.
Whatever were the words you said to her
Made the sparks fly higher than all the waves.

Verse 2
She always knew you were her superman
So she had no doubt when you said “you’re mine”
But she didn’t know that the knife in her back
Had been put there by your cheating hands

Pre-Chorus
Why am I so innocent?
Were the forever words she asked herself
So when you came back to her
She knew there was nothing better than revenge.

Chorus
Haunted by your swift attacks
All of those words left her heart scarred
You never showed you care
When she showed you the world and said it’s ours

So don’t you ever say she was mean
Cause she gave you everything until your last kiss
And she gave her best, day and night
She showed you the world and said it’s ours

Verse 3
She put her heart in that letter
The last Dear John she’d every write
She wished she could never grow up
And that your love wasn’t a joke

Verse 4
But when you said “the story of us
Is something that should never be told.”
She knew that was the last chance
To escape the prison made from your past

Pre-Chorus
Why am I so innocent?
Were the forever words she asked herself
So when you came back to her
She knew there was nothing better than revenge.

Chorus
Haunted by your swift attacks
All of those words left her heart scarred
You never showed you care
When she showed you the world and said it’s ours

So don’t you ever say she’s mean
Cause she gave you everything until your last kiss
And she gave her best day and night
She showed you the world and said it’s ours

Bridge
She goes back to december when everything was
A dark sky and hand painted bright stars
When all of your friends would scream long live
To all of the times when love was everything.

But then she had to tell all of them “please speak now,”
Tell me if it’s true that he was the one
To stab my back without a drop of regret
When he saw her and said it’s better this way.

Chorus
Haunted by your swift attacks
All of those words left her heart scarred
You never showed you care
When she showed you the world and said it’s ours

So don’t you ever say she’s mean
Cause she gave you everything until your last kiss
And she gave her best, day and night
She showed you the world and said it’s ours

End
Cause she always thought “this will be ours.”

Weekly 1- 1688 words

Part 1 - 365 words
Write 300 words on your literal interpretation of an image (what you see).
Image: https://www.onceuponapicture.co.uk/portfolio_page/dream-big/

The first thing on the image that catches my eye is the giant whale in the middle of the sky. It’s got a white contour, which connects on some part of the whale as if it was a crystal prism. The whale uses at least half of the image’s space, and below it there is a girl extending her left hand to touch one of the whale’s fins. The girl is only touching the whale with one finger, and in the point where she’s touching, there is a yellow circle of light. The girl has short brunette hair, a pink dress with some blue-ish parts and white tights. With her left hand she’s touching a wolf which is standing next to her. The wolf has a dark color and it’s tail divides into different parts. The parts flow towards the right side of the page, where there only are 2 parts on the edge. Both the girl and the wolf are standing on piles of books; the girl is standing on a higher pile.
There are books piled up all throughout the bottom of the image. Some piles are taller than others and some are closer to the front. THere are about 35 piles of books, and the girl and the wolf are using three to stand. All the books have a brown-ish color, with which they contrast the light yellow background.
The image background is clearly the night sky, but it has different colors blurred. On the center bottom of the image, there is a light yellow background, which changes onto pink-ish purple. That is on the left side of the image. On the right side, it changes to a darker pink which is mixed with orange. After that, the color switches to blue on a diagonal line. From the top left to the middle of the right side edge. The top of the image has a black background, but on the right corner there are blotches of orange which form three groups.
All throughout the image there are stars. Most of them are white and small, but there are some blue and purple ones which are bigger and more attractive to the eye.

Part 2 - 450 words
Write a scene where a character gives another character a culturally significant dish.

Conrad is waiting in one corner of the room for everyone to finish their food. After all, he’s not exactly on good terms with the rebellion. He spotted Elison serving herself something to eat, and tried to avoid looking at her. Before he could switch his gaze’s direction, she noticed him looking at her. Not long after, Elison brought Conrad a plate.

“Here,” she said, “Even you need to eat.”
“Thanks.” Conrad said,“What is this?”
“A special meal,” Elison smiled, “You won’t recognize it. It’s only handed around here in town.”

Elison gave Conrad the meal and pushed it towards his chest as she left. She was smiling, but Conrad had seen that smile before. He stood up and went looking for Elison’s mentor.
“Your Majesty, to what do I owe this pleasure?” he said as he invited Conrad to sit, “I’m sorry about what you thought our intentions were today. I hope to assure you we are not planning on killing anyone. Sadly, I can’t say the same for Lis. She’s hurt and she’ll do anything to get that pain away from her.”
“I’m the one who should be apologizing, sir. I lost half of your best team.” Conrad said, “But, that isn’t the reason I’m here.”
“Oh, what could it be, then?”
“Elison gave me something weird at the dining hall. A dish I’ve never seen before.“ Conrad explains, ”It's like she suddenly wasn't mad at me, or she was but she knows I shouldn’t be starved“
”Did you eat it?“ Elison's mentor asked.
”No. I know what Elison is capable of. Especially to those she hates.“ He said.
”Hate? That is a strong word for such uncontrolled feelings. Bring the dish to me, I'll tell you what it is."

Conrad went back to the dinning hall and found the dish exactly where he left it. While he was walking with it to the general’s office, members of the rebellion started shooting him dirty looks. But the worst one was Elison’s face. He could see her leaning against a wall across the room. Her face showed one thing, defiance.

“Here.” Conrad said as he laid the plate in front of the general.
“She gave you this?” he asked, clearly concerned.
“Yes, should I be worried?”
“If you’re trying to ask if she tried to poison you, no she didn’t,” he answered, “have you heard of the ‘odium cibum’? I’ll take your blank expression as a no. Here in town, we have a way of expressing hatred towards someone. You offer them odium cibum, hatred food.”
“She told me she hated me, through food?” Conrad questioned, “She really has problems.”
“She does, but so do you, young man.”

Part 3 - 462 words
Choose a motif from the slides given and write a scene using that motif.

For part three I imagine the scene where Amy said no to Fred’s proposal. She was willing to marry him for money, but ended up choosing to marry Laurie for love.

“Fred, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” Amy said, as she handed him her hand, which he swiftly kissed.
“My dear Amy, I’d be troubled if you had not an idea of my intentions when coming here,” Fred said, “It is my hope, that you–as I’ve had for the past months, noticed the connection between us. I know most have, including your dear Aunt March.”

Amy smiled, knowing her Aunt March would be pleased if she accepted Fred’s proposal. He took both her hands and held them on his.

“Amy, you are the most talented and prettiest woman I’ve ever crossed paths with. I’d be the happiest man walking this world if you accepted my hand in marriage. You’d have everything you ever wanted. All the clothes, jewelry and anything that your heart desired could be yours. I’d give you anything you could ask for. Fred looked at Amy with hopeful eyes, as she held her hands, “I’d give you a ring even more beautiful than the one you’re wearing right now.”

Amy’s gaze went from Fred to her hand, where the turquoise ring Aunt March had gifted her all those years ago laid. Memories came back to Amy. How sick Beth had been, how she swore she’d have her best behavior to get that ring, and how she promised her mother she wouldn’t be vain. That ring was still on her hand for a reason, to remind her that being vain was her worst fault. And now, with Beth sick, she knew she had to honor that promise, which had begun with her sister. She recalled her talk with Laurie and everything he had told her, every rude word which now made sense.

She raised her head and noticed Fred was still staring at her. She smiled, knowing she was making the right choice.

“My dear Fred, such a proposal coming from you has always been my biggest dream. But now that I’m here, standing in the moment, I’m afraid I can not accept you.” Amy said, “Before you say anything, let me explain my reasons for denying you. I grew up without many things, being rich was all I could ever dream for. But thanks to the people around me, an important lesson was set. There are better things in life to wish for, than money. I want to make an important choice like this for love, like my sister Meg. I want to be selfless, like Beth. And I want to make my own choices, like Jo. Please, don’t think I never cared for you Fred, because that would be the biggest lie. I do care for you, but I’d have to convince myself to love you, and that is not the way to love.”

Part 4 - 411 words
Rewrite your narrative from part 1 pinpointing motifs, symbols and themes.

If you separate the different parts of the image, you won’t find any meaning or sense behind what you see. But when you see the image as a whole, you'll find a meaning. First, the name of the image is “Dream Big”, which aligns with the whale which is the biggest thing in the image. The whale is one of the many things in the image that pinpoints the main theme, imagination. If you see, the whale is a gigantic constellation, which the girl is touching. Going back to our theme, we can assume the girl is picturing or imagining this whale. She's using her imagination to “draw” a giant whale in the stars.

The second symbol of imagination are the piles of books. All of the books have the same color and are piled up together. The piles are of different sizes and they are at different distances. I'd say these books represent buildings. The girl is standing on buildings of books, which empower her imagination. Literally, they help her reach higher to touch the whale. In a symbolic way of seeing things, the books make her imagination bigger and stronger. Allowing her to imagine the whale, and reach it. I also notice, she's standing in the tallest book-building. She is in the peak of imagination at the moment, being able to create a constellation as big as the whale.

There is also another figure standing on the books, a wolf. The girl is touching it with her right hand. The wolf is a normal wolf until you reach its tail, which divides into different lines that flow to the right side of the image. The meaning of thid wolf is still a bit unclear to me, but if I has to guess, I would say it's part of the girl's imagination. As the wolf is also standing on the books, I think it's of the first things she imagined. This wolf acompanies her in her imagination journey. It could be assumed it's her dog, which her imagination alters.

The sky, in my opinion, represents how imagination can take you to many places without limit. You have a whole sky full of stars that give you hope, and thanks to the piles of books, which help you harvest your imagination, you reach and create wonderful things. As a whole, the image shows how books can help you harvest imagination. As well as how wide and big your dreams can be.

Daily 9 - 765 words
Write about your characters sleep habits

Ellison - Ellison is a light sleeper. She is always alert, which makes her an anxious sleeper. Whatever minimum sound she hears, she'll wake up. She is a night owl, as she is used to working late at night, in the shadows. She'll usually sleep with a weapon not far away from her. Elison is used to having a small amount of sleep, if
11 none. She says she doesn't sleep because she can use that time, but in reality it's because she can't. Since she was homeless, she gets nightmares and insomnia, so she uses that time to practice. She'll take night work to get away from the nightmares. However, she does need sleep. When she hasn't slept what she considers good for a few days, her mood will be the worst. She'll begin to slowly fall asleep in places and she'll slack in missions. That's when her mentor sends her away to sleep, which happens every few weeks.

Conrad - Conrad is the opposite of Ellison in sleeping. He was used to sleeping his 8 hours every night. Before sleeping he would sneak to the beach and take a walk. After that he would go to sleep late and wake up late as well. His parents didn't care whether he joined breakfast or not, as long as he was there for dinners. So he was a night owl like Elison, but he needed good sleep. When he joined the rebellion he had to get unused to that. He needed to change his sleep schedule, and he had to learn to sleep almost nothing. At first he used to sleep in and they would have to come to get him. Slowly, he got used to sleeping less and less, just like he got used to things at home.

Elison's mentor - while he was the rebellion's leader, he was still an old man. From time to time he would have to go and have a well deserved rest. And every night he needed to sleep well. He would leave instructions and head to sleep. And unlike his adopted child, he was an early bird. He would wake up before anyone else and get things for the day ready. There had been times where he would wake up and find Ellison had gone to sleep just one or two hours ago.

Maeve - Maeve is my character persona from Harry Potter. Her sleep schedule isn't that different from mine. She would wake up one hour before classes started and get ready for school. Some days she would go to sleep early, about one hour after dinner. Other days she'd stay late studying with Hermione. They would study until the clock struck midnight. Then they would get ready for bed, and even then it would take some time for Maeve to fall asleep. She would get into bed and think for hours, until she fell asleep. When they had parties in the common room, Maeve would be one of the last people to leave. There are other times when instead of sleeping, she'd sneak out with the twins. And when she's feeling tired, she doesn't show it.

Shenna - Shenna is my character from Star Wars. She lives in the middle of war so her sleeping schedule is pretty messed up. She sleeps whenever she can, which is when she has free days or they are traveling through hyperspace. Sometimes she and Ahsoka would fall asleep with each other while camping. While she is able to fall asleep wherever she wants to, she is able not to. She trained herself to ignore her need to sleep, which helps her while keeping watch. Before she joined the Clone Wars, things weren't that much different. She would go from planet to planet. Finding places to sleep some nights, and sleeping on ships other nights. After the Clone Wars, her sleep was affected by what had happened before. She wasn't able to sleep a lot of hours even if she wanted to. And nightmares of Order 66 and other stuff would wake her up.

Jo - Jo is a character I wrote for my story, Silent Puzzle. Jo is someone who sleeps little. She is both a night owl and an early bird, depending on the mystery she was solving. She normally stayed up late analyzing the mystery, looking for more clues, even if they weren't there. There was a point where she would start to zone-off, but instead of sleeping she'd drink a cup of coffee. She usually lived on a dose of coffee. Drinking a cup from her favorite coffee shop every morning.

Critiquaire for Kat - 341 words

Soo, the first thing I'd say about the piece is that you use the word “cringe” a lot. Whether it is “cringed, cringey, cringing.” While it's a word that indicates a lot of what we think and do in middle school, I think there are many other words or phrases you could use!

I really liked how the character is thinking back on a whole period of her life, but when rewriting her main goal is saving her friend. But the end confused me a bit. She was only rewriting her story, right?. The italicized paragraphs, especially the almost last one shows this, but what does the last paragraph mean? I didn't really understand what's happening. Maybe it's just me, but if not I think you could write something else to clear that a bit.

A college student cringes yet again over a trivial embarrassment from her middle school years. Unable to sleep, she decides to do something about these years. Opening her laptop, she opens yet another tab in her ever-growing collection.thinking back to 6 years ago, she remembered all the things that happened back then that she hated, most of all her friendlessness. She decided to start from the beginning of middle school and rewrite it.

In this paragraph you change from present tense to past tense. First you're using verbs such as: cringes, decides and opens, but later you used remembered and decided. I checked, and you use past tense for the rest of the story ^^

She looked around at them, satisfied with her socialization skills- until she spotted that one friend- her best friend.

I'm not extremely familiar with how hyphens and em dashes are used, but I think you'd only use one before “until”, and a comma after “friend”. Though I'm not entirely sure, but I know that as you're interrupting a sentence you should use an em dash instead of a hyphen <3

Recording every last bit of her middle school years, realistically, but the way she thought was best became her pastime and decompressing/recuperating hobby

This sentence is a bit long and also confusing. I think you're saying that she wrote realistically, but altered things to be the way she thought was best? And this became her pastime and hobby. I'd separate the sentence after the best for things not to get tangled up.

As she approached the (sharply downwards slanting) wooden bridge, Michelle heard a sizzling noise. Whipping her head around, her feet hooked around each other, and she tripped face first towards the 10-foot drop into the wildly frothing river- until she was stopped by a yank on the back of her shirt.

She noticed Michelle tripping as if in slow motion. Running as fast as her legs could carry her, she ran to grab her best friend before the cruel force of gravity claimed her. Grabbing at the back of her pink shirt, She tugged, barely stopping Michelle from going over. Pulling her up, she pulled her into a hug, crying. Michelle wasn’t 100% sure what was going on, but she hugged her back, whispering, “thank you for saving me… Katie.”

In the first paragraph, you change from Katie's pov to Michelle's, which is a small inconsistency that can get people confused. So I'd move some things around for everything to be from Katie's point of view.

I really liked how the story shows us how we would do many things, even rewriting our own story to erase or change events that we didn't like.

RLove10 wrote:

Daily 19 - 384 words
Write a story from an abstract concept’s perspective.


sorry i took so long to post this heh-:')

I'm noticing that everytime Time talks about a saying, it always says “time”. but Time is time. you could use more I/me first person instead, to give it more of that kinda feel.

“Time is your enemy! Time waits for no one. Time is money” Is time any of those things? I live seeing people whining about it, asking for more and wasting it. I never sleep, I am always there checking on you. Day after day I am going on, even if you’re not going with me. I take, give and just stand there sometimes.

I'm just gonna italicize when you deviate from first person-
I like where you quote some saying then have Time quote on it. that's clever!
how would time go on, and you not go with it?

“Time heals” Do I heal you? Maybe sometimes I do, but I don’t many times as well. And if I do, it takes a lot of time. It’s like a car race; going on circles until it is the last lap. That is what I am, a race. But is time a race against you or me? Are you fighting time? Or are you fighting to reach your goals and use time wisely? Don’t fight with me, you’ll never win. I can’t lose because I refuse to fight. You can’t win a fight against someone who is not fighting. You can try to do it, but I’ll just keep going on while you’re stuck in the same place. Go with the tide, go with me.

“but is time a race against you or me?” how can time race against itself?
What does “going on circles until it is the last lap” mean?
I like how you said time does not fight, that was interesting.

“Time is money.” Why would I be money? Am I valuable in any way? Humans believe I am. They believe that when they lose sight of me things are lost. They might not be completely wrong. Then again, they are not completely right. I am under and overestimated by humans. I’m not even completely understood by them, yet they try to work with me. They try to do the best they can in a short period of time. If they don’t achieve it, they lost their time. It’s normal to lose sight of me, don’t punish yourself every time you do.

how can you be under and overestimated? that's slightly contradictory.
he went from indifferent to caring in the sentence “It’s normal to lose sight of me, don’t punish yourself every time you do.”

“The timing wasn’t right” As I said you lose sight of me, sometimes more than you want to. Don’t lose sight when there is something important. Don’t wait. Do what you have to do, because I keep going even if you didn’t do whatever you had to do. When you want to stop me or reverse me, you won’t be able to. The timing might never be right, because time keeps going even when your actions don’t.

I am complicated, and you won’t understand me completely. Either way, you can try to be my friend.

The rest of the story was all good

THIS WAS AMAZING I loved it all the way! you're a great writer <3

For even if we're far
Oceans keeping us apart.
We're like stars in the night
Finding each other in the dark.

Don't worry my love
I'll see you again.
Meanwhile look for the dove
Carrying our song.

A song which contains the sweetest of memories,
The worst of cries,
And the prettiest tie.

A tie swore not to be broken,
By distance or time
For my soulmate I won't let us
Ever fall apart.

You're my sister in soul,
My partner in crime,
The one who's seen me
Through my worst and best times.

I love you forever
Don't you think of forgetting
I'll be here with you
Until we're both laying.

Take this poem with you,
As a part of my heart.
Take it home to grow,
To live and to die.

Daily 11 - 432 words
Write a swc parody

Original song: London Boy
SWC Parody: Lots of Points

I love the dailies as much as weeklies, I love writing
And you know I love thinking about new stories, and killing characters.
But something happened, in the Main Cabin
I saw the daily first and then I saw the word count
They say write cause you love it,
But that’s not what my mind thinks.

You know I love lots of points,
I enjoy seeing how my cabin is in first place
They love my competitive side
Like a child winning a prize, oh points, I fancy you.
Took me like an hour, just to do the daily
So I guess all the rumors are true
You know I love lots of points,
Boy, I love writing too (ooh)

And now I love writing stories from the pov of abstract concepts
You can find me in my room, i’m hitting my head with the computer
Show me my cabin, the winning cabin
Babes, don’t threaten me with 2nd place
They say write cause you love it
But god I love the winning

You know I love lots of points,
I enjoy writing weeklies that will make my cabin win
They love my competitive side
Like a child winning a prize, oh points, I fancy you.
Took me like an hour, just to do the daily
So I guess all the rumors are true
You know I love lots of points,
Boy, I love writing too (ooh)

So please show my cabin
I know it should be the first one that you see
Just wanna win this ooh
Wanna win this ooh
Stick with me, I’m your queen
Like a writing god writing many words at fast speed
Just wanna win this ooh
(wanna win this ooh)
Wanna with this ohh (oh)

You know I love lots of points,
I enjoy cabin wars and writing till my fingers die (yeah)
They love my competitive side
Like a child winning a prize, oh points, I fancy you (you)
Took me like an hour, just to do the daily
So I guess all the rumors are true (yeah)
You know I love lots of points (oh)
Boy (oh), I love writing too (I love writing too)

So please show my cabin
I know it should be the first one that you see
Just wanna win this ooh
(Boy, boy, I love writing too, oh, woah, oh, oh)
Stick with me, I’m your queen
Like a writing god writing many words at fast speed
Just wanna win this ooh
(wanna win this ooh)
(I love writing too, yeah I love writing too)
Ooh wooh ooh

Daily 12 - 100 words
Write an intro for a new cabin of your own.

Cabin: Fantasy Faerieland

The two faeries guiding you say nothing as you enter the forest. You’ve been walking for hours, and not a word has left their mouths. For a moment, you question whether this was a good decision. Escaping home to find this place, but when the forest starts to change you know it was. In front of you stands Faerieland. Two wide doors have been opened for you, showcasing the vast lands where faeries live. It’s even more beautiful than in your dreams.

“Welcome to the land of faeries,” One of the faeries guiding you says, “Where dreams turn into reality.”

critiquitaire for @xoxo_tsunami - 113 words

heyy! i really like this, but there are some parts that feel out of rythm. Maybe that's how you decided to make it, but if not I'd check lines 4 and 5. I also noticed you used almost the same rhymes throughout all the chorus. I think this might get confusing when trying to learn it or it might make it easy to remember because of the similarity. The rhymes you use are “ight” and “ine”.

guess our stars weren't in a line

Here I'd recommend changing in a line to aligned. You don't loose the rhyme, and it's easier to say when singing.

There's not much else I've got to say. I think it's a really good chorus!

Daily 13 - 529 words
Write a story using 2-5 flowers and their meanings.
Flowers: foxglove (treachery), sunflower (adoration).

“We are not the same. We’ve never been and never will.”

Her eyes were mirrors to my soul. No matter how much I tried to cover it, she could see it, my guilt. It didn’t matter if blood was dripping from her side or if she was half conscious. She always saw through me, and death wouldn’t stop her from doing it.

“No. We’re not the same. I’m dying, and you’re the cause. I would have never been able to kill you, but I always knew you were.” she winced and leaned on the closest wall. “And just so you know, you were my best friend.”
“And where did that take you?”
“I don’t know, you tell me,” she laughed, “By the way, I hope you like my gift.”

Her eyes went blank as she gave one last laugh. Christine wouldn’t leave without making fun of me, she wouldn’t have gone as herself. I did what every sane person would do next, call the police and pretend someone else had murdered my best friend. It hadn’t been hard, Chris always said I was a good actress.

That night, I got home to find Chris’s gift; a gorgeous painting. It was obvious it was one of hers. The strokes, the colors, the fact that it was a flower; it had Chris written all over it. There was a note with it. For the fox who hid her knives under friendship’s gloves. Somehow, I found my way to the chimney and did the only thing my mind could think of, I burned the note. Only someone like Chris could have known I was going to betray her. You did not give anyone a foxglove painting. It was creative, I’d give her that. She was aware the Language of Flowers was well known in my family, and she had used it to send me a message; her death wasn’t a surprise to her.


I made my way to Christine’s house the next morning. Her mother was still asleep, but her father received me just like he did before his daughter’s death.

“Would you like a cookie, Sophie?”
“I would, thank you, sir. Uhm, today I also have something for you and your wife.” I handed him the bouquet of sweet pea and mustard flowers I had bought before coming. If Chris wanted to play with flowers, so be it.
“They’re peculiar, like my Chrissy.”

I followed him to the kitchen, and placed the flowers on Chris’s favorite vase. I had no right to be in her kitchen with her father, but who was going to tell me not to? Certainly not Chris.

“Sophie. I’m sorry if this question bothers you, but I need to know. You were with my daughter last night.” Was he going to ask if I killed her? He couldn’t suspect that, could he? “Do you know who killed her? Any clue or sign will help us.”
“I- I’m really sorry, but I don’t know who did it.” I did it.“I wasn’t there, if I had been I would have done something." I did something, I killed her. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Adler” Am I? I don’t know.

Weekly 2 - 2534 words

Part 1 - 1284 words
Write a workshop about a concept someone gave in the Idea Bank
Concept: the differences between 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person stories and how to write good ones - from @KIM-

Part 2 - 651 words
Write a story implementing what you learned from one of the workshops
Workshop: Types of Internal Conflict and Utilizing It by @Magnolia012

Context: This is a scene for the novel I’m planning. Ellison is part of a rebellion against the king. Her parents used to be the queen and king of the kingdom before they disappeared. Conrad (the main character, and whose proof the story is told from) is the prince, but one day he decided to join the rebellion. His dad had spoken with a day before, about who Ellison was and about betraying her. 74 words

I took Ellison’s unwilling hands and guided her to the center of the room. I wanted to dance with her, but that was not the only reason I was doing it. My father was on his throne. His eyes set on Ellison and me; he wouldn’t look away, not unless I gave him a sign.

Ellison moved to the music swiftly. No matter how much she denied it, she looked gorgeous while dancing in that gown. The thought of her getting hurt tonight made my stomach jump. If she got hurt, it would be my fault.

“Conrad? Is there something wrong?”
“Yes. It’s just, I- You look really pretty tonight.” I felt sick just by looking at her. She looked really pretty. Tonight, she had taken her armor down after such a long time. She was enjoying herself, her eyes showed it, and I was going to take that away.
“Conrad, are you listening to me?” She slapped my hand. I got back to reality as her eyes scanned me, “Don’t compliment me. I’m not someone who will fall for your princey charm.”
“You think I’m charming?”

She clenched her jaw and looked away; she did that when she was frustrated. While I was still fighting my thoughts, Ellison pulled us out of the dance floor. She was talking to me, but I could only hear my father’s voice. She’s their daughter, son. She wants you dead as much as us. She’ll take your throne. Will you choose her and her little rebellion, or your family? Aren’t you loyal? I was loyal, I really was, but to who?

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a tap on my side. Next to me there was no one, but on the table there was a vial; poison.

“A drink for yourself and the lady?” a server said, “My prince?”
“Thanks.” I took the drinks and placed them on the table. These weren’t drinks, this was an ultimatum. He was watching us.

I took the vial, and dropped it on one drink. I am loyal to myself.

“I’m sorry, I dropped your drink.” I handed her mine

-─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

The music stopped and the sudden silence pulled me out of my thoughts. Ellison was pulling my arm.

“We need to get out of here,” she whispered, “something’s wrong.”
I didn’t move. My father was doing something. He knew I didn’t poison Ellison; she was in danger.
“Conrad! We need to move!”

Eyes turned towards us as Ellison pushed our way through the crowd. A group of soldiers blocked the door, attracting everyone’s gazes. Ellison’s impulsiveness gained over being unnoticed, and she slipped a dagger from her dress.

“There is no need to make a scandal Miss Whitlock,” Everyone gasped when my father mentioned her last name. What was he doing? Ellison’s face changed. Even with a mask covering half her face, shock could be noticed. Instead of acting out of nervousness, she handled the situation as I had never seen her, with charm.
“I’m sorry, your awful Majesty, but I’m not doing that.”
“Son, please convince the lady not to make a scene.”
I was not taking orders from him, but if I could convince them not to hurt each other, I had to try.
“Ellison, there is no need to-” I whispered, but I couldn’t finish the sentence, not when she looked at me like that.
“I should have known.”
She took the skirt of her dress and ran to the nearest open window. I knew this drill. The crowd wouldn’t stop her, and if someone tried, they’d end up with a dagger on their stomach.
“Get her!” my father ordered. But before any guard could put their hands on her, she had jumped. My father’s gaze switched to me. I didn’t choose to betray Ellison, which meant I didn’t choose him.

Part 3 - 599 words
Critique to @legocookie6

Critiquitaire for syrozenne - 245 words

Torin and Lynn sat at the cozy cafe, sipping their steaming cups of coffee. They were childhood best friends, diaper babies if you may. As they engaged in their usual weekend catch-up, the conversation took a turn towards realistic dreams and aspirations.

In my opinion the word ‘realistic’ gives the sentence a weird sound. When you talk about dreams and aspirations, they are real. I understand this is to show they're not kids talking about being a mermaid or a pirate, but there might be another way to phrase it. And you're not really talking about dreams and aspirations, which are in the future, but about what's going on now. Maybe you could say something like: the conversation took a turn towards their careers, and the challenges they were facing at the moment.

Torin's eyes lit up as he considered his friend's suggestion. “You're right. I shouldn't let setbacks discourage me. There's always a way to find a balance between practicality and creativity. Maybe it's time for me to explore independent projects that truly reflect my vision.”

I really like how Lynn makes Torin feel better, but I think this is a drastic change in mood. Personally, when I'm feeling down, it takes some time to get the mood up. So you could maybe show how he feels better about the topic, but he isn't in a “lit up” mood, yet.

United by their mutual understanding and determination, Torin and Lynn left the cafe that day with renewed inspiration. With a newfound perspective, they knew that realistic conversations about their dreams and aspirations were essential for growth, both professionally and personally.

Same thing here with ‘realistic’. In this case, you could take it out at the sentence would have the same meaning <3

I really liked this story. When you talk with your friends, your true friends, things like this come up. Somehow they can almost always make you feel better. Just by this conversation, I assume Lynn and Torin are really good friends. In the end, you take a paragraph to give the lesson of the story. I like how the story begins to add up that message, and you say it directly at the end. Really nice piece <33

Daily 14 - 459 words
Write a story inspired by a google translated song.

Song: Girl Like Me by Dove Cameron
they pay
I can give you something I believe in
He has this cool name
Talk like you're the beloved of God
Nothing will make you an amazing person.
You are my gun, in my hand
When I run the show, I'm almost too tall
Well, you wouldn't let a girl do that, would you?
You've never seen a girl like me
I don't know that woman, I don't know that woman
I just tasted you, but you want more
I don't know that woman, I don't know that woman
I don't know that woman, I don't know that woman
I don't know that woman, I don't know that woman
nice
Nothing to do with tantrums
Though I'm not there, I'm just a ghost
I know I disappoint you
But do you think you're ready or not?
Ba-da-ba-da-ba, maybe not


There he was, my next victim. Every month, that man walked to that chapel, asking for the same thing, “Bring her back to me. In whatever way, just let me have her by my side.” No one had heard his prayers, except me. Too bad I was someone he wouldn’t want to hear of.

He arrived home, without noticing I was following his trail. I had watched him before, he had a cool name and lived a good life. Or a life as good as one could have when fate had taken their loved ones away. It was good there was someone like me to give them back, of course with a price. Humans were vulnerable, especially after a loss, and it was my life’s joy to take advantage of them.

Alistair, as the man was called, was on his knees, praying. Soon enough, he’d be on his knees, but in front of me. I entered the house and began working my magic. Lights started flashing, candles were blown off and my voice echoed through the room.

“Alistair. You’ve asked those with power for another chance, yet no one has answered. I am here, answering your prayers. A small price is all I ask for me to bring the love of your life back.”
“Who’s there?!” Alistair yelled. He was thrown off by me, but that was the usual reaction, “What do you want?”
“I want to offer you happiness, the chance of being with your wife again.” My voice rumbled like thunder.

Alistair didn’t answer after that. He was obviously thinking about my offer. What type of human would deny a chance like that? Especially when they were still grieving.

“How could you bring my wife back? That is not possible”
“Oh, it is, my dear Alistair. You just need to see beyond the limits.” I said with my most convincing voice. He would clearly fall for it.
“I accept. No matter the cost.”

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

She was in front of me, my wife. The love of my life was back. Even if it was a trick, by whoever that voice belonged to, it was worth it.

“Honey? Melanie, it’s me, Alistair.” I got close to her.

Something was wrong with her body. She looked pale, like a phantom. It was probably just a thing of the moment. She would get back to normal any second now.

“What do you want, Alistair?” she said, “I just came back, can’t I have some space?”
“Yeah, of course.”

The rest of the day, Melanie acted as if she wanted nothing to do with me. I didn’t want to accept it, but I didn’t know that woman. That was not my wife.