Yeetoburro1 wrote:

Cssss could you do that one? I have to do a shop review
Edit: 10 PAGES WE MADE IT

its realy good 

NyashaCoder wrote:

its realy good 

A man went to the restaurant to get a pizza. THE END

congyingzhou wrote:

Username: congyingzhou
Type of review (Project, studio, shop) writing
Have you read the terms?: wait there are terms? literally forgets about that when he just came to review this golden reviews shop
What you do not want us to say (Like something you're working on) CENSORSHIP AH nothing i guess
Deadline: a day or two; it's really easy
Link: No link. Be harsh and I suggest you add a description slot for the order form. Keep in mind that this is a whole story, and not a sentence so please suggest tons of stuff to improve. This is sort of a testing order to see how you do it I guess?

A man went to the restaurant to get a pizza. THE END

Preferred way of contact: profile
If this is a shop review, would you like it to be monthly?: no need la although nice service idea there

also i won't fill out the survey until i get to the end of dis (i wont explain what i mean lol)

NyashaCoder wrote:

its realy good 

A man was going to a restaurant to get a pizza but he was abducted by aliens. wait the progress is too slow
A man was going to a restaurant but he was abducted by some weird aliens on the way. i need some more… stuff in general
It was a starry night and a man was going to a restaurant to get some pizza for dinner for himself, his wife and his children but on the way he was abducted by some weird aliens who knocked him unconscious and put him in a spaceship. much better review the last version thx

congyingzhou wrote:

Username: congyingzhou
Type of review (Project, studio, shop)
Have you read the terms?: do i have this again, ah well i'll do it for you golden reviews
What you do not want us to say (Like something you're working on) NANI CENSORSHIP (wait i already said that last time) nothing
Deadline: preferably a day
Link: No link, just review this story in the same manner as last time but this time use caps and yell at me about how terrible it is a story

A man was going to a restaurant to get a pizza but he was abducted by aliens. wait the progress is too slow
A man was going to a restaurant but he was abducted by some weird aliens on the way. i need some more… stuff in general
It was a starry night and a man was going to a restaurant to get some pizza for dinner for himself, his wife and his children but on the way he was abducted by some weird aliens who knocked him unconscious and put him in a spaceship. much better review the last version thx

Preferred way of contact: profile again
If this is a shop review, would you like it to be monthly?: no

It was a peaceful night. The stars were winking down at him. His hungry belly grumbled as he set out for the pizza restaurant for some pizza. He gazed at the magnificent stars. But then something caught his eye. It was a star, much brighter than the others. Was it a star? As the ‘star’ approached he saw it was not really a star. More disklike. A UFO.

He was paralyzed, staring at the thing. The gigantic spacecraft beamed a light at him and he was knocked out. THE END. please do note that i want to add stuff so analyze this as a whole story again

congyingzhou wrote:

Username: congyingzhou
Type of review (Project, studio, shop)
Have you read the terms?: do i have this again, ah well i'll do it for you golden reviews
What you do not want us to say (Like something you're working on) NANI CENSORSHIP (wait i already said that last time) nothing
Deadline: preferably a day
Link: No link, just review this story in the same manner as last time but this time use caps and yell at me about how terrible it is a story and also im doing this too often eh

It was a peaceful night. The stars were winking down at him. His hungry belly grumbled as he set out for the pizza restaurant for some pizza. He gazed at the magnificent stars. But then something caught his eye. It was a star, much brighter than the others. Was it a star? As the ‘star’ approached he saw it was not really a star. More disklike. A UFO.

He was paralyzed, staring at the thing. The gigantic spacecraft beamed a light at him and he was knocked out. THE END. please do note that i want to add stuff so analyze this as a whole story again

Preferred way of contact: profile again
If this is a shop review, would you like it to be monthly?: no

It was a peaceful night. The stars were winking down at him. His hungry belly grumbled as he set out for the pizza restaurant for some pizza. He gazed at the magnificent stars. But then something caught his eye. It was a star, much brighter than the others. Was it a star? As the ‘star’ approached he saw it was not really a star. More disk-like. A UFO.

He was paralyzed, staring at the thing. He expected aliens to come out and abduct him, but none came. Instead, a tall man came out of the spacecraft.

The man looked at him, and all went black.

Meanwhile…

Charlie gazed in fascination at the bright disk hovering in the sky. His two little brothers and mother were all hunched against the window, staring at the magnificent object.

“What is it?” Hayden, his youngest brother asked.

“I don't know,” Charlie replied.

Then a sound rippled through the room, and it was as if Charlie could hear a voice in his brain.

PEOPLE OF EARTH, WE COME FROM MARS. YOU HAVE APPROXIMATELY 24 HOURS TO SURRENDER OR WE WILL OBLITERATE THIS COUNTRY.

By judging the horrified on Charlie's mom and brothers, they had heard it too. okay this time i need a review on the overall thingy and how good it is and not judge as a story, also gimme some suggestions thx

congyingzhou wrote:

Username: congyingzhou
Type of review (Project, studio, shop)
Have you read the terms?: do i have this again, ah well i'll do it for you golden reviews
What you do not want us to say (Like something you're working on) NANI CENSORSHIP (wait i already said that last time) nothing
Deadline: preferably a day
Link: No link, just review this story in the same manner as last time but this time use caps and yell at me about how terrible it is a story and also im doing this too often eh

It was a peaceful night. The stars were winking down at him. His hungry belly grumbled as he set out for the pizza restaurant for some pizza. He gazed at the magnificent stars. But then something caught his eye. It was a star, much brighter than the others. Was it a star? As the ‘star’ approached he saw it was not really a star. More disk-like. A UFO.

He was paralyzed, staring at the thing. He expected aliens to come out and abduct him, but none came. Instead, a tall man came out of the spacecraft.

The man looked at him, and all went black.

Meanwhile…

Charlie gazed in fascination at the bright disk hovering in the sky. His two little brothers and mother were all hunched against the window, staring at the magnificent object.

“What is it?” Hayden, his youngest brother asked.

“I don't know,” Charlie replied.

Then a sound rippled through the room, and it was as if Charlie could hear a voice in his brain.

PEOPLE OF EARTH, WE COME FROM MARS. YOU HAVE APPROXIMATELY 24 HOURS TO SURRENDER OR WE WILL OBLITERATE THIS COUNTRY.

By judging the horrified on Charlie's mom and brothers, they had heard it too. okay this time i need a review on the overall thingy and how good it is and not judge as a story, also gimme some suggestions thx

Preferred way of contact: profile AGAIN
If this is a shop review, would you like it to be monthly?: no

hp_mega_fan wrote:

Order Form
Username: hp_mega_fan
Type of review (Project, studio, shop): Project
Have you read the terms?: yes, golden
What you do not want us to say (Like something you're working on): Nothing as i would like it very detailed
Deadline: when you can do it
Link: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/408904216
Preferred way of contact: on the project
If this is a shop review, would you like it to be monthly?: No thanks

hp_mega_fan wrote:

Order Form
Username: hp_mega_fan
Type of review (Project, studio, shop): Studio
Have you read the terms?: yep, but you already know that golden reviews
What you do not want us to say (Like something you're working on):: Nothing, complicated is what i would like the review to be
Deadline: when you see fit to do it
Link: https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/25943493/projects/
Preferred way of contact: My profile and this thread
If this is a shop review, would you like it to be monthly?: no

It was a peaceful night. The stars were winking down at him. His hungry belly grumbled as he set out for the pizzeria for some pizza. He gazed at the magnificent stars. But then something caught his eye. It was a star, much brighter than the others. Was it a star? As the ‘star’ approached he saw it was not really a star. More disk-like. A UFO.

He gasped in terror and fascination, staring at the thing. It started glowing silver. Gradually the light grew stronger and stronger. His eyes hurt and watered, but he couldn't move. It was as if he was living in a dream. He could only see and think, and couldn't move or speak. The strong light dwarfed that of the moon and the stars. They seemed to wink out one by one as everything seemed to turn to day. He expected aliens to come out and abduct him, but none came. Instead, a tall man came out of the spacecraft.

The man glanced at him, and all went black.

Meanwhile…

Charlie gazed in fascination at the bright disk hovering in the sky. His two little brothers and mother were all hunched against the window, staring at the magnificent object.

“What is it?” Hayden, his youngest brother asked.

“I don't know,” Charlie replied, unsettled by the unearthly object.

Then a sound rippled through the room, and it was as if Charlie could hear a voice in his brain.

PEOPLE OF EARTH, WE COME FROM MARS. YOU HAVE APPROXIMATELY 24 HOURS TO SURRENDER OR WE WILL OBLITERATE THIS COUNTRY.

By judging the horrified on Charlie's mom and brothers, they had heard it too.

“What was that?” Hayden whispered, terrified.

As Charlie started to reply, a weird peculiar feeling descended on him. It was a feeling he had never experienced ever before. It was like an icy fire, scorching him and icing him at the same time. Time seemed to reverse. Humans evolving. Apes. Mammals. An asteroid slamming into earth. Dinosaurs. Reptiles. Fish. Life. Bacterial life just appearing on Earth. The oceans disappearing as time ticked backwards. The volcanic Earth zooming out. The moon broke into little pieces as Theia seemed to jump out of Earth. The whole newborn solar system.

Then time stopped and started ticking the right direction again. They were zooming in on Mars. There were primitive bacterial life evolving rapidly. As Charlie watched and asteroid smashed sideways into Mars and ripped off a small chunk of rock. Then the asteroid, carrying the rock which was carrying life, sailed towards the volcanic, lifeless Earth.

Everything stopped and Charlie was returned back to the present. Life on Earth… came from Mars…

congyingzhou wrote:

-snip-