Churro's Weeklies #3- Mystery

Part 1: Plotting a Mystery
shared it on a project bc scratch wouldn't let me post it and honestly could you tell me if you think it's not appropriate for scratch?

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March 20th Daily

“Ah, ow!” Mark moaned as a punch landed onto his abdomen. He tried to kick the bullies holding him still, but they're tough like bulls, and each kick just hurt Mark worse. “G-Get away from me!” Mark shouted at the guy who punched him. “Why not? It's always so fun to bully you and see you suffer.” Said his oppressor, Weren. “Hey, let me go. What did I do to deserve this?” Mark pleaded. Suddenly Weren grabbed his chin and face him in the eyes, making him feel threatened but excited at the same time, “This is what you get for liking me. Now get out of my sight.” Weren commanded his gang to drop Mark as he scuttled quickly after he was freed.

“You know, you could've said that you like him back… That's the truth, and you know it. But why the harsh treatment?” Luna asked. It was the next day, Mark made sure to distance himself from Weren while everyone laughed at him for liking someone of the same gender. “You know how Martin treats people who don't listen to his orders? He knows I like Mark, but if I don't obey his orders, he will reveal many secrets about me! I can't let it happen!” Weren said, anguish and scared. It was unusual for him to be like that. “Weren, who are you? Letting some jerk control your life like that? You need to be yourself. Now Mark doesn't want to even be friends with you due to your horrible treatment.” Weren nodded, showing he understood.

“Ah, Weren… Nice job on making Mark humiliated-”
“What did he even do to deserve this?”

Weren said as he confronted Martin that afternoon. School was over and everyone left, except for Martin and his goons, whom Weren often use to bully Mark. “Oh, Mark? I don't know. I just bully him for fun…” “What?!” Weren shouted, frightening Martin's goons, but Martin remained unsurprised. “You bully him for nothing? He's such a nice person! Treating everyone with kindness and all he gets is hatred from everyone?” Martin smirked, “How did you know this? Did you stalk him the entire day?” Weren blushed, but still said, “I have to know him properly. And now I do. Goodbye Martin, I'm not working under you anymore.” Martin was about to object but Weren had one more message, “And I don't care if you spread all my secrets. I'm only cautious that you ruin my relationship with Mark. Now get out of my sight!”

The following day, Weren was at his classroom, unusually quiet. He was looking at his fingernails to see if they were well trimmed. Me caring for my own appearance? So unusual of me… Weren thought. Luna approached his desk, “Well done, Weren. I can't believe you had the courage to face him like that. Now you have one more mistake to correct.” Luna said, pointing at the door, where Mark had just entered the classroom. Weren stood up and approached him, hoping for the outcome was what he expected. "Mark, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. The truth is…

I like you too."

526 words

play sound [writing is life] until done

Critique for Vi
3/20-21/2024
543 words

violent-measures wrote:

(#13)

Hey Vi! I really enjoyed critiquing this piece. I love the style that you used to tell this story. You used great imagery and it's so bittersweet T^T With that being said, let's get into the critique!

Moths with singed wings fluttered above my head. They flitted around the bright lamps until their black wings could not sustain them, and they fell to the ground like dark snow.

Absolutely love this. It's an interesting hook to start off with, but it sets the mood and the atmosphere for the rest of the story.

I pushed my way through the crowd, for once glad of my small size as I slipped between gaps in the rabble. Frowning, I turned around, struggling to catch a glimpse of your red hair. Most everyone here was a frostling, so it wouldn’t be hard to spot amongst all the black. You had darted away from the line of brightly dressed performers when the circus master had turned his back. I wanted to know where you’d gone.

This section is a bit unclear to me, specifically the third sentence. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming this means that the frostings wear black or have black hair? I have no context into this, so I'd try to clarify that a bit more to make it clearer as to what you mean by that.

“Who are you?” you snapped, black eyes harsh and, wide, and empty like the night sky. (unless this was a stylistic choice? I think it works well either way :D)
“My name’s Loki…what are you doing here? Why did you run?”
“Why do you care?”
I opened my mouth to respond. Before I could, a shout and riotous laughter erupted from the stand beside us, and we both flinched away from the noise.
Dark eyes met mine.
I saw you smile for the first time, a beautiful, crooked smile that meant you knew we were the same.

I love the use of dialogue here and the way it gets us introduced to the characters! I'm also really enjoying the word choice to describe things.

I stayed because it was easy and seemed meant to be. I never had to tell you what I felt because your eyes were dark and your smiles hard to come by. It felt like a victory every time I saw your teeth.

Perhaps I'm missing an implication here, but I'm not sure I quite understand this second line? I think what I'm confused about is how never having to tell someone how you feel has to do with, what I'm assuming, is someone who doesn't show emotion. Is it that they don't show emotion, so the narrator doesn't feel the need to do so? That's the only reasonable explanation I can think of in this context. It's a beautiful sentence, but I just can't figure out how the parts connects to each other ^^"
I love the third line though; I love the implication there aaaaah!

My parents loved me, which was enough, but everybody loved you. The circus girl who ran away.
You never told me why you’d run, and I didn’t ask again. Maybe I was afraid of the answer.

Oooh. This brings up so much suspense and I love how this is worded to give the reader an insight, but also leaves them with more questions.

When the others were away, we talked of mundane things as though they were profound. Our tongues would not let the truth slip out, too afraid of drowning in its unknown current. I thought you knew, though, thought I saw your soul in your dark eyes. And I told myself the mundane would be enough.

I removed the comma because I don't think it's necessary and it breaks up the flow of the sentence.

I didn’t know how to fix you, wanting to believe you weren’t broken all along. Because everybody loved you, and that should have been enough.

These lines are so beautiful, but heartbreaking omgg- I have no words, only tears ;;;

Even when the world was cold, you were colder.

Ooh, love this.

I could no more count them count them no more than I could find the words to say.

I feel like rearranging the words helps it to flow better.

The moment was broken glass in my bleeding hands, unable to be pieced back together.
It was easier to leave the words unspoken.

Once again, such gorgeous word choice for so tragic a moment.

Black eyes became my soul, wide and dark and full of all the things I could never say.

At this point, I'm going to assume the adjectives with ‘and’ to separate them all is a stylistic choice. I think it does work really well with the style you've written this in!

I tried, but the lights burned too bright. You’d broken the window so I could follow you, but I could not make it past the shards of glass. My hands still carry the scars, and sometimes when I wake up alone, they bleed again. If I could have weighed the pain on scales, perhaps I would have made the right choice.

Perhaps try switching the first two lines? At first, I was confused as to what the narrator was trying, but it gets explained fairly quickly, so it's not too big of a deal. Though I do think it flows a bit better and also creates some suspense by starting off the paragraph that way, but it's up to you!

Everybody loved you, but perhaps I should have told you I was one of them.

I love this line and how it sums up the mixed signals, so to speak. It gives a definite answer at the end, after having a lot of mystery surrounding the characters. It's one of those end lines that makes you step back and see the whole picture to the story. It's so good ><

Overall, I loved reading this piece. Your use of imagery and words are stunning!! It's a heart wrenching piece and the ending seemed so fitting for what was said throughout the course of the story <3 I had a lot of fun with this and hopefully this was helpful ^^

Daily 20th March
573 words

I crept through the shadows, my heart pounding in my chest.
Creak.
The door shuddered open, its hinges caked with rust. As I snuck in, light flooded through mountainous windows. The moon stared at me, its face pale and ghostly. The trees were draped in black, cloaked under the cover of night. My sister’s face flashed through my mind, blurred and vague. I could barely remember her. I treasured the only memories I had of her for a moment, tears brimming in my eyes.

Carry on, Luke.
I had to do this for her. My strongest memory was being hurled up into the air, her plaits twirling around her face, her sturdy hands clasping my pudgy ones tightly. And then she disappeared. I woke up one morning and heard sirens wailing outside my house. The slamming of a car door. A rough, violent shout. Heart-rending sobs. I hid under my covers, clutching Teddy tightly, his coarse fur sodden with salty water cascading from my eyes.

Stay focused.
I willed myself on, my shiny boots gliding sleekly over the deep soft carpet. I felt vibrations beneath my feet and I shivered. Birds chirped eerily outside. Then everything was silent. Dead silent. Anticipation hung in the air, hushed and dangerous. I knew that someone was near me. I shrunk back, my breath fast and shallow. I saw a flick of dazzling golden hair and a light illuminated an athletic triumphant figure, looking at me smugly. I knew this guy.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” He sniggered.
Laughter bounced off the cold stone walls, 3 other people appearing behind him, smiles of pride lighting up their faces. They looked like they were nice, compassionate people. They didn’t know I was the good guy.
“You alright, kid?” One of them asked.
He leant in, his breath warm on my face, my glasses foggy.
“Rob can be a bit blunt sometimes. Apparently you’re the villain. You don’t look like one to me.”
I tilted my head and saw that my legs were shaking.
“I can be the villain, I guess. To some people. I go sneaking around, stealing food, hiding in alleyways. I seem dark and evil and wherever I go, shadows follow me it seems.”
I shut my mouth hurriedly, realising how much I’d revealed. He smiled softly.

“C’mon, let’s go! Finally we can save the town. This guy -” He gestured at me, “has burned souls, pierced hearts and broken minds. Today we can solve that!”
He cheered and punched the air. I frowned. Did I really seem like that? I remembered the time that a shopkeeper saw me stealing food. She was frozen in shock, unable to move. Kids cornered in a park. A teacher falling into a dead faint, a bruise embedded in her skin.

I had never meant to harm innocent people. I never thought it would come to that. But I didn’t realise that they were innocent. I thought they were the ones who had taken my sister. A d I wouldn’t stop at anything to get her back.

“I’m sorry!” I cried, my forehead creasing with anguish. “I never meant for you to feel like this! All I wanted was my sister!”
I panted, my face flushed. The leader, Rob, shifted uncomfortably.
“He’s lying.” He muttered.
“I’m not!”
My lower lip wobbled. Spots clouded my vision. Anger bubbled up inside my throat. Then there was nothing.

Daily 20th March

573 words

I crept through the shadows, my heart pounding in my chest.
Creak.
The door shuddered open, its hinges caked with rust. As I snuck in, light flooded through mountainous windows. The moon stared at me, its face pale and ghostly. The trees were draped in black, cloaked under the cover of night. My sister’s face flashed through my mind, blurred and vague. I could barely remember her. I treasured the only memories I had of her for a moment, tears brimming in my eyes.

Carry on, Luke.
I had to do this for her. My strongest memory was being hurled up into the air, her plaits twirling around her face, her sturdy hands clasping my pudgy ones tightly. And then she disappeared. I woke up one morning and heard sirens wailing outside my house. The slamming of a car door. A rough, violent shout. Heart-rending sobs. I hid under my covers, clutching Teddy tightly, his coarse fur sodden with salty water cascading from my eyes.

Stay focused.
I willed myself on, my shiny boots gliding sleekly over the deep soft carpet. I felt vibrations beneath my feet and I shivered. Birds chirped eerily outside. Then everything was silent. Dead silent. Anticipation hung in the air, hushed and dangerous. I knew that someone was near me. I shrunk back, my breath fast and shallow. I saw a flick of dazzling golden hair and a light illuminated an athletic triumphant figure, looking at me smugly. I knew this guy.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” He sniggered.
Laughter bounced off the cold stone walls, 3 other people appearing behind him, smiles of pride lighting up their faces. They looked like they were nice, compassionate people. They didn’t know I was the good guy.
“You alright, kid?” One of them asked.
He leant in, his breath warm on my face, my glasses foggy.
“Rob can be a bit blunt sometimes. Apparently you’re the villain. You don’t look like one to me.”
I tilted my head and saw that my legs were shaking.
“I can be the villain, I guess. To some people. I go sneaking around, stealing food, hiding in alleyways. I seem dark and evil and wherever I go, shadows follow me it seems.”
I shut my mouth hurriedly, realising how much I’d revealed. He smiled softly.

“C’mon, let’s go! Finally we can save the town. This guy -” He gestured at me, “has burned souls, pierced hearts and broken minds. Today we can solve that!”
He cheered and punched the air. I frowned. Did I really seem like that? I remembered the time that a shopkeeper saw me stealing food. She was frozen in shock, unable to move. Kids cornered in a park. A teacher falling into a dead faint, a bruise embedded in her skin.

I had never meant to harm innocent people. I never thought it would come to that. But I didn’t realise that they were innocent. I thought they were the ones who had taken my sister. A d I wouldn’t stop at anything to get her back.

“I’m sorry!” I cried, my forehead creasing with anguish. “I never meant for you to feel like this! All I wanted was my sister!”
I panted, my face flushed. The leader, Rob, shifted uncomfortably.
“He’s lying.” He muttered.
“I’m not!”
My lower lip wobbled. Spots clouded my vision. Anger bubbled up inside my throat. Then there was nothing.

I opened my eyes, and there he stood. The balding man. In his hand he held another needle.
“S-stop please!” I covered my arms in fear.
“No can do. Now show me your arm. Unless you don't want play time,” he smirked as I held out my hand.
I winced slightly as I felt the needle poke into my skin. A few minutes later, I felt another sensation through my veins. I wasn't sure what he had changed about me this time, but at the same time I was afraid to ask. Just then, another person walked in.
“Play time?”
I jumped up eagerly and they held onto me with one of those fun ropes that go around your throat and if you pull to hard, you can't breathe. Bald man likes pulling on it for fun. I remember that I used to use it on someone else, but then they told me that it was something else, not a…leash…
We went outside, and they put another one, which stretches a lot more, so then I have quite a distance to run around and play. After a while we went back to the tiny room. On the way there, I saw a mirror and yanked on the rope trying to get there. I knew that this was the nice person, they followed me right there. I stared at the mirror. I remember how when I first came here, when mommy sent me here, I was short, had hair like the mean lady, flat, kind of fat. I barely recognized myself anymore. My hair was quite long, so I was going to get a lot of it removed later, my eyes glowed now. I was so skinny, and there were lumps on my chest, and the tall lady had helped me get some new stuff to put on there, and there were markings and cuts which were bl33ding a lot. I had grown- a lot.
Suddenly I collapsed onto the ground, screaming and withering in pain. My back was breaking and changing. My head was pounding and the end of my back was rearranging. Then my mind went blank.
The next time I awoke, There was something on my back. It was a pair of wings. I reached for my head to see if there was anything there, thankfully there wasn't. The next time I got to out for play time, it was was with the tall lady. I tried to move the wings and found out I was rising, tall lady wasn't expecting that and the rope slipped out of her hand. I wanted to explore. That's when I saw them. There were so many people. So many of the savers. They all probably had someone like me. I stopped, on the ground, and that's when it happened. People attacked me, just like back in the room. I ran. There in a hidden corner, were so many others, like me. Together, we decided to take them down. The savers were everywhere and until they knew what we went through, and stopped, we weren't going to stop.
+516 words

Part 3

1. Where were you exactly on the night of the beautiful, innocent and delicious - I mean harmless mango?

2. What were you doing that night?

3. What do you know about the murder?

4. Tell me every single detail of your movements and anything suspicious

5. At any point did you see the mango at all, or maybe a flash of orange in the darkness?

6. Did you hear anything unusual while you were out at night? It is imperative that you don’t miss anything out.

7. Did you notice the mango behaving strangely beforehand?

8. Were you friends or did you know the mango at all. If so, were you close friends and how long had you been like that?

9. If the answer to the last question was yes, have you had any lasting quarrels ever, whether it was recently or long ago? Do you have a grudge against him?

10. Could you tell us the name of the mango, since we could find out a lot about him if you did.

11. Could you name anyone else who was up on the night of the murder who knows the anonymous mango?

10. And finally, and most importantly, did you murder that mango?

-lxve-bug- wrote:

pup's thread (boy am i late :skull: )


AYYYY IM 100TH LMAO

daily 3-20-24 <33 581 words !!
this one is abt a silly lil guy i created called maverick. i really do love him, he's my favorite oc and very dear to me hehe


Poor Maverick was often mistaken as a bad guy. Not a bad guy as in the hero needs to come and save everyone, no; he was the bad guy in a sense where you would avoid him on the street, avoid making small talk with him at the store, and definitely avoided sitting next to him on the subway. He supposed it was because of his rather intimidating look. He was sure the chunky boots, the height, and the tracker collar definitely didn’t help with trying to look inconspicuous. He also considered how his backstory played a part in it. Every villain had a rather dark prequel before they became “evil.” But that’s not his fault. It’s not his fault the government killed his family. How is it his fault he was kidnapped? It’s impossible to consider his escape as his fault. He could either sit around and wait to die or do something about it. He chose life. It’s what anyone would have done. He’s not at fault for wanting to save himself, at least in his opinion. But then again, scoundrels typically pick themselves to save.
In the same vein, villains typically have some sort of fire in their eyes, be it hunger or insanity. There was nothing like that behind Maverick’s green eye, or his blue eye. There was nothing in his eyes but sadness and guilt, clouded by the things he had seen. He pondered this as he walked through the subway station. People avoided him like the plague. The doors to the train opened, and he took a seat in the far back corner, yawning. He stared out the window, his headphones slightly too loud. He sighed. There was something to be said in “don’t judge a book by it’s cover.”
He wished people would read his book instead of the cover. He had lots more to his pages he hoped people would see. He wished people would…take pity on him. Not in the sense that he wanted people to feel sorry for him. He’d much rather be the object of someone’s condolences versus someone’s distaste. He felt the opprobrium he received was rather uncalled for. If only people talked to him, then they’d see he’s not what he seems. Or is he?
He supposed he could be a villain. After all, he is the reason why his family is no longer alive. He is the reason behind that one girl’s death. He is the reason why…well, he’s done lots of things he’d rather not disclose. But at the same time, was it really on him? All his life he’d been a bit of an outsider. He considered the probability of those events really being his fault. His parents did have a third child (him) which could be blamed on them, considering it was illegal and all. That girl… she didn’t have to follow him. She didn’t have to come along to the fight. It was her fault she got caught in the middle of it.
But here he is again, participating in a rather villainous way of thinking, blaming others for things. But if the blame was theirs to begin with… well whatever. If he kept thinking like this, he would go crazier than he already was. He turned his headphones up again, and rested his head against the window, watching the walls speed by outside. If only someone cared to ask how he was. Boy, would he have a lot to say about that.

Daily #20
3/20/2024
409 words

She'd trapped us, the witch.
She'd trapped me and my brother against our will.

Coco, she'd said her name was, with that sickly wide grin of hers. Of course, Hansel was in love with her; her house was made of candy.
But I, Gretel, would not fall for her tricks. I wasn't as naive as she thought I was, what with her handing me desserts like it's air.

I knew what she's doing. I knew that she was trying to butter us up, which unfortunately, was working on my brother. She was trying to let our guards down so she could continue to the next step of her plan. I didn't know exactly what that was, but I had overheard her talking about ‘the boy and girl’ and cackling while mixing something in a cauldron.

It gave me the creeps.

I steeled myself, because what use is empathy when I'm stuck in someone's house. If she showed any sign that she was hurt by my actions, I wouldn't have brought myself to notice or linger on it.

The worst thing was, she's nice. Too nice. Whenever I thought she was being genuine, there was something extra she would add, whether it's baking an extra batch of cookies for Hansel because he loved them or adding in laughs at the end of her sentences, that made her seem unreal.

No one is really that nice. I couldn't believe that she was.
She wasn't letting me and my brother go. That's it.

—

It really is quite a shame, looking back all these years later.

I wasn't as much trapped, as stuck in her home because my brother didn't want to leave. And the role that has been bestowed onto me as his older sister is to watch over the guy. The guy who is still head over heels in love with her food. (Thank goodness, Coco's switched over to some low sugar, healthier options on recipes.)

She was a bit sketchy, but to be honest, she'd never really been integrated into society. Awkward is pretty much the best word to describe her.
And her infectious positivity caught on real quick, once our misunderstanding was settled. There was only so much food Hansel could have in a day.

It's the best story to tell whenever anyone asks about how we first met.
No one expects me to say that I met my best friend thinking that I was kidnapped.

-lxve-bug- wrote:

pup's thread (boy am i late :skull: )


AYYYY IM 100TH LMAO

Alr critiquitaire time !! first off apologizes for the delay TT but ye lets get into it >

“Once upon a time, there were two best friends named Amy and Emily. They had been inseparable since their early teenage years. They shared everything, from their deepest secrets to their hopes and dreams. They were always there for each other, through thick and thin.”

Ah i love how you started this off !! it shows how much they cared about each other. I like the use of once upon a time as well. It sort of shows how their friendship was like something in a book. Not sure if this was what you were going for there, but its great either way

“Amy and Emily were inseparable, but they were also very different. Amy was a wild and carefree spirit, always seeking adventure and new experiences. She loved to travel and loved to meet new people. On the other hand, Emily was shy and awkward, but she was also very intelligent and introspective. She was passionate about learning and loved to read and write.”

You show their differences really well, and I think this really adds to the readers understanding of the characters. One thing is that you used inseparable twice in quick succession, so replacing it with a different verb there would help the flow a bit. “Amy and Emily were close, but blah blah.”

“Despite their differences, they had one thing in common: they both felt like outsiders in their small hometown. They both felt like they didn't belong and that there was something more out there for them.”

Nothing to add here its great already !!

“One day, Amy came up with the idea of traveling the world. She knew that it would be a daunting task, but she also knew that it would be an unforgettable adventure. She started to research different countries and cultures, imagining what it would be like to experience them first-hand. Emily was hesitant at first, but she soon realized that this was an opportunity to escape their small town.”

This is great, but you used “small town” again. “ this was an opportunity to escape their little town.” just another flow/ syntax thing

“After months of planning and preparation, Amy and Emily set off on their journey. They visited different countries and cultures, from the bustling streets of Tokyo to the exotic beaches of Bali. They met new people, tried new foods, and saw things that they had only dreamed of. They lived life to the fullest, free from the constraints of their small town.”

This is v descriptive !! I particularly like the “saw things that they had only dreamed of” part. You used “small town” again tho TT a diff word like village would work well there

“But as time went on, Amy began to realize that this was not the life she had imagined. She felt overwhelmed by the constant movement and the lack of a stable home. She felt like she was constantly searching for something that she couldn't quite identify. Emily, on the other hand, was completely captivated by the adventure. She felt like she was discovering herself more with each passing day.”

I love this part !! it highlights the differences that were mentioned earlier in the piece, and the feeling of searching for something that isn’t there is definitely a really good choice of words here. This part is perfect.

“One night, as they sat around a campfire in the middle of nowhere, Amy turned to Emily and said, “We tried the world, good god, it wasn't for us.” Emily was taken aback by Amy's words, but she understood what Amy meant. They both realized that their small hometown might not be perfect, but it was home. It was where they belonged.”

Ahh this part is amazing <3 The only thing i’d change is amy’s dialogue. I would say “ and good god, it wasn’t ” it would help the speech flow a bit better and feel more natural. But otherwise, i love this part !!

“Amy and Emily returned home and resumed their daily lives. But the adventure had changed them. They felt more confident and more self-assured. They had seen that there was more to life than just their small town, and they were grateful for that. They both continued to pursue their passions, and they remained best friends for the rest of their lives.”


As this is the ending, it’s important to make sure that it doesn’t feel too abrupt, and ends naturally. It felt a bit sudden/ rushed in my opinion. I’d replace “rest of their lives” with “until they grew old.” honestly i’d probably re-word most of the last sentence into something like “They continued to pursue their passions both together and apart. They were, quite simply, happy. Their friendship continued through the years, and remained the closest of friends until the grave.”


All in all, you wrote a really great piece, and i enjoyed reading it quite a bit. With only a few tweaks in terms of word choice, there wasn’t much for me to critique here, and that means you’re an excellent writer gj !!

Daily 020: 405 words, Cliffhanger (bahaha)

“Mocking, mocking, mockingbird…”
She was sick of secrets. Of lies. Of betrayals.
Sick of hiding behind a mask.
She didn’t have a choice.
She wasn’t the only one hiding her face.
The cloaked figure bounded ahead of her, and she had to push herself to keep up, refusing to let herself gasp or pant or wheeze. This was fine. She could do this. She’d rip his disguise away, reveal him for the monster he really was. She had to. For herself. For her twin, whoever they were. And…for Evaporate. Her heart tightened at the thought of her grandmother, her poor, sick grandmother, the grandmother he’d tortured. The only person she’d ever let herself love. She lengthened her strides, fists clenching in determination.
Her revenge wasn’t just for herself. It was for every single person he’d harmed.
The man in the cloak dodged, and she stumbled on the soft sand of the beach, slipping as a wave broke around her feet. Salt stung her palms as she fell and scraped them on seashell fragments, and she bit back a cry, clutching her hands to her as she scrambled upright and kept running. At least her mask was still secure. Although she’d almost prefer revealing her identity than deal with the people gathering around her now, hands reaching out for the person they thought was their hero.
“It’s the Mockingbird!”
“Please, tell us how we can thank you!”
“Mockingbird…Mockingbird…Mockingbird…”
The whispers, the shouts, the eager, grasping fingers overwhelmed her, and her target was getting away. She shoved through them, her eyes focused on one thing only. He was going to ruin everything. Bring the whole island crashing down. He didn’t have the power, he was stealing it, she couldn’t let him get away. Surprise rippled through the crowd at her abrupt and brusque brushing-aside, but she didn’t have time for it. She was up and running again. If he managed to deliver the Kingherb–but no, no, she’d catch him in time.
“Have you, have you, have you heard,”
She felt as though she’d been running for forever, yet the chase still seemed far too short as her footsteps finally thundered up behind him, and then she was yanking, pulling, falling, rolling…
She didn’t even realize that she was holding his mask in her hand before startled eyes fixed on her face, and her breath caught.
She knew this face.
But it wasn’t the one she’d been expecting.

Daily for my Greek myth based story

King Minos was discussing trade policies with some of the noblemen when a young serving girl ran in, eyes wide and she had clearly just been crying. “I need the king now!” She pleaded her voice breaking. “The king is busy,” said Krysanthos sharply. The king stared down his nose at the girl. “You know I will not be happy if I've been bothered for some trivial incident.” She shook her head and began crying. “Prince Glaukos is dead.” Immediately Minos was on his feet. “Show me where his body is. Who is responsible for this?!” He shouted, hands clenching into fists. “Who took their eyes off of my son?!” He screamed. The girl flinched. “I only found him,” she cried. Minos put a hand on her shoulder. “It was never your job to watch my son. Just show me where he is.” She nodded and led him into the kitchen. Most of the servants were gathered around something and looked up nervously when the king stormed in. “Your highness…” “we didn't see him until it was too late…” Minos ignored them and pushed them aside to see what they were gathered around. It was a giant clay pot but when he looked inside he saw his four year old son submerged in dark golden honey. He took a step back, putting a hand on his forehead. This was wrong, this was wrong. He plunged his arms into the pot and scooped his son up, bringing up a dead mouse that was sticking to Glaukos as well. “No,” he cried. “You're alright Glaukos your father is here.” He forced Glaukos's mouth open and using his fingers began to scoop honey out. “Get a physician now!” He shouted to the gathered servants barely keeping his composure. “Your majesty, there's no use. Look at him, he's dead.” Minos sat on the floor, cradling Glaukos. Death was not something that was supposed to happen to one of his children, especially not Glaukos. Covered in honey he carried his son through the palace and knocked loudly on Pasiphaes door. There was no answer so he knocked even more loudly. “Our son is dead!” He shouted. She opened the door and looked at him then down at their son. “I could you hear you screaming all the way across the palace. It's not becoming of a king. They will think you are weak.” “I am weak, and the gods are showing me that I am. Look at what Artemis has done, isn't she supposed to protect children?”

daily March 20, 756 words

Do you know the story of Little Red Riding Hood? A little girl goes to deliver some goodies to her sick grandmother and meets a wolf along the way, who secretly wants to eat her and her grandmother, plus the goodies. When he does that, a woodcutter comes along, cuts open the wolf’s stomach, and frees Red Riding Hood and her grandma. The End. Happily ever after.

Well, it’s not like that. The wolf was not a bad guy. I know this because the wolf is me.

This is the true story of Little Red Riding Hood.

A long time ago, Red’s grandmother fell sick. Red’s mother gave Red a basket of medicines and goodies to take to Granny. These will make your Granny feel better, she told her. So Red took the basket and skipped through the woods to Granny’s house.
Now, it just so happened that I was sick at that time, too. I kept sneezing every two minutes. When I couldn’t stand it any longer, I decided to take a walk in the woods to get a good dose of fresh air. Now, of course, you can probably guess what happened next. As I walked through the woods, I met Red along the way.
Now, it bears mentioning that this was not the first time Red saw me. She knew perfectly well who I was, and we were even good friends!
“Hiya, Wolf!” she greeted me, stopping to take a break. “How are you?”
“To tell you the truth, Red,” I replied, wiping at my nose, “I’m not feeling that well at all. My head is bursting, my legs are aching, my stomach’s rumbling and grumbling, and I’ve sneezed a hundred and fifty-two times now. I counted.”
“Oh my,” she said sympathetically. “Well, I’m on my way to deliver these goodies and medicines to Granny. She’s terribly ill, you know, just like you. Why don’t you come along, and I can give you some of these medicines too?”
“Sounds swell!” I said, so we went along to Granny’s house. When we got there, Red knocked on the door, burst in without waiting for an answer, and ran to Granny, who was lying in bed wearing a white nightgown.
“Granny! How are you!” said Red, flinging herself on the woman. “We brought you medicine. And goodies. And Wolfy is sick too, so he’s going to share the goodies. I hope you won’t mind.”
“Not at all!” said the good old lady, so we distributed the medicine and chewed on the muffins. In the middle of this, Granny suddenly let out a loud shriek. I startled, and Red fell off her chair.
“What’s wrong?” she demanded, getting back up.
“Spider,” said Granny faintly, pointing at the ground and shrinking away. Red and I looked at each other, trying not to laugh. Red opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, someone knocked on the door.
“Come in!” called Granny, and in rushed two men. One had an axe in his hand, and the other looked like a reporter. Both unfamiliar.
“Pardon me,” said the reporter man politely, “but we were in the woods when we suddenly someone scream. It’s not often you hear people screaming in the woods, you know. We rushed over to see what the matter was. Since I’m a reporter, would you please tell me what happened, wy you screamed, and why you would want this episode on the news?”
Granny looked disgusted.
“I don’t want this to be on the news,” she said.
“Oh.” His eyes slid over to me and widened. “Oh. Well, my dear old lady, I don’t need you to tell me what happened after all. I can very well take a guess for myself. It was the wolf, wasn;t it?”
“No, you—”
But then the woodcutter was raising his axe, and he was saying, “The wolf? I’ll cut open his stomach, and he won’t live!”
I got up and ran. Never mind that I was sick. I didn’t stop running till I reached my den, and then I stood and panted before collapsing to the floor,
The next morning, in the newspaper, there was a huge headline. It said, “BREAKING NEWS! Big Bad Wolf Steals Goodies And Tries To Eat Girl And Grandma!”

So that’s how the story came to be. But now you know the truth, and I trust you to tell all your friends. Please. I haven’t had any visitors ever since, and I’m getting lonely.

The end.

Date UTC: March 20th
Time Comp. UTC: 11:51pm
Prompt Sum.: Write about a villain who is just misunderstood
Point Value: 350
Extra Points?: 100 for proof
Total Points: 450
Word Count: 455/400
Zyran’s phone vibrated in his pocket. He tugged it out and answered the call from Satori.
“Hi!” She exclaimed, clearly excited to talk to him.
“Hey.” Zyran replied, “What is it?”
Satori’s grin could be felt radiating from the screen, “You will never believe what just happened!”
“I bet I won’t. What is it?”
She giggled, “Okay, so here’s the thing. So you know that university that I wanted to go to??”
“Yes, that high end one that has that good literature program?”
“Mhm! And, welllllll-” She drew it out for a long while before Zyran prompted her to actually continue. She snickered and finally announced, “I got accepted into the literature program!!”
Zyran smiled, stepping over to his bed and taking a seat, “Aw, that’s awesome. I’m proud of you.”
For the next thirty minutes, Satori raved to Zyran about the campus, the classes she was going to take, and the people she had already met. She bemoaned the fact that Zyran was focusing on a different career path, which Zyran defended for the entirety of their conversation.
But, the conversation was cut short. Zyran heard his phone buzz and checked the notification.
“Oh, did you see the akuma alert?”
“Yes, I did. I’ll see you there?”
All he heard on the other end was a “Plagg! Stop eating that! Let’s go!” and then the dial tone.
Zyran chuckled and gestured to Dusuu and Hungee, “Let’s go guys.”

Zyran was horrified at the scene around him. A desolate wasteland, the Paris he once knew was now /decimated/ because of one dumb decision. He had lost Hungee, and by proxy the Hydra miraculous. Ash rained down as the light continued to expand. The implosion of creation and destruction themselves resulted in chaos. Zyran suspected that he was the only one left who could make any change at all. The light continued to draw closer to him. He created a small sentimonster, an octopus, one he hastily named Mari. He directed her to get him out, somehow, some way. Mari suddenly grew to double his size and overtook him, swallowing him into another universe.

Zyran glanced around. Wow, that was a trip. The seventeen year old stood up and stumbled back as he studied his new surroundings. He was… somewhere in Japan. Was it Tokyo? He had no idea.
After he calmed down, Zyran’s mind started spinning. If this was a whole new world, it must have its own set of miraculous holders, and thus, its own set of the cat and ladybug. If he somehow got them to make a wish…

Now his goal was clear. He’d get those miraculous. At any cost, no matter how many times he had to try and try again.

The new species was invasive. Chervil knew that much by now. From what Chaos had told her, they had shown up practically overnight, and no one knew what they were.
It was a shame the wolves had stopped preying on them after the one big attack. But they claimed that the population was too small, and needed it to expand before they could hunt further. Otherwise, they’d risk making them extinct and losing their newfound delicacy.
Chervil understood this and couldn’t fault them for it. In their place, wouldn’t her species do the same? Normally, she’d have agreed with their decision- in fact, she had given similar advice to other species a thousand times over.
However, this new species was different, and in a dangerous way. Chaos had explained the intelligence of the “shazarxi,” as she called them, and how they had violent tendencies rivalled only by the wolves’ own. Plus, they had a strange way of messing up the world around them. They would tear apart plants and move stones to create structures, seemingly not caring about any harmful effects this had. Besides, like other invasive species, they were eating native plants, crowding out other animals that depended on the same food source.
Worst of all, they had seemingly begun to bring the afterlife into this world. Ghosts drained the energy from the environment around them- bringing them to this world would upset the balance more than everything else combined. If something wasn’t done soon, it could mean a whole new mass extinction.
She remembered the last time it happened, when she had been barely out of her egg. The birds had strayed too far from nature and ignored the effects of their actions. They were gone now, but they had very nearly taken out everyone else with them. Chervil herself would not be alive right now if it weren’t for the sacrifice of the one bird who had the foresight her people lacked. The vulture’s wide wings had shielded her from the rain of fire.
Perhaps it was Chaos’s influence on her, but Chervil wanted to do something about it, to prevent the same disasters as last time. Turtles were not meant to take action, but if not her, then who? She had already accepted the name ‘Chervil’ as referring to her individually- such a strange thought for a turtle!- and now it seemed like she would approach this problem in a non-turtle-like way, too.
Well, maybe that’s what the world needed from her… After all, the one truth of life was that it was either adapt or go extinct. It was time for change.

To start, let me just say that I really liked your direct interpretation of the flower symbolism. Having your characters aware of the meanings behind the flowers, instead of just making them be symbolic to the reader, made the story’s emotion feel very immediate and genuine. The repetition of “separation” when Mary broke down crying in the garden even provided a structure for that whole section. There was also some symbolism in the weather, I noticed- It set the mood throughout the whole passage: bright and sunny in the joyful beginning, then becoming stormy during the hardship in the middle, and finally becoming sunny again at the end. The personification of the sun was a nice touch, from when it was “painting yellow” to when it “shared a lone ray.” It was well-worded and definitely made the passage more interesting. Honestly, I couldn’t find many things about your writing to fix. If I had to suggest something, I’d say set up a few more interactions between the characters at the beginning in order to really establish a sense of their personalities and the nature of their relationship. That would help the reader form closer attachments to the characters, and therefore the pain of seeing them separated later on would be more impactful. Also, maybe introduce the Everlasting flower at the beginning, so that the ending of the passage references something that is already familiar, creating a recurring image to support the central theme of undying friendship. As far as grammar/punctuation/clarity errors go, there were fewer than one would expect for a piece that you mentioned was translated with Google Translate. The few that I caught were “five-petal flower” should be “five-petalled flower,” there should be a period after “observe it better” and a capital letter used to start the next sentence, “the harm she made me” should be rephrased to something more like “the harm she caused me,” “vision field” would sound better as “field of vision,” and there should be a period after “getting away from you.” (There may be others that I missed, I’m not the greatest at proofreading- ) Anyway, yeah, there isn’t really anything else I’d correct. This passage was excellently written, great job! :3

Daily 20
word count - 417 words

Always hidden in the shadows, isolated from everyone.. though somehow, I always ended up being the enemy. It was as if my birth, simply just my name was cursed. Everyone believed that I was no good. That I had no purpose in this world. Though I knew, I had deeper purposes to serve in life. Imagine growing up in a society where you are constantly being treated like dirt- with no worht or value. Just shooed away, like you don't belong. Honestly, I feel like every villain has some sort of backstory if you'd like to call it that. They are forced into doing things they don't want to do, and become scared.

Channeling that fear, a new part of the brain opens up.. one with more sinister thoughts that are considered “evil”. But I'd like to ask, what does evil even mean? Are we now criticizing those that aren't “as good” or don't behave morally? If so, shouldn't everyone be considered evil to some extent? I find a hard time understanding why people have to make that differentiation. What good does it do for everyone if you're being put into the spotlight for being different - and instead of being praised, you're being humiliated.

I know by now you think I'm just rambling on about nonsense- but hear me out! I was just like you once upon a time, and I've turned into this form to cover all my scars. Yes, they still hurt after all these years, but this is who I've become to give myself some closure. By treating other people worse, I can start to justify the injustice that I witnessed at such a young age when I was growing up.

This is what goes on in all villain's minds.. either the main character got away with powers or somehow ended up getting what belonged to us. And instead of telling the real story, lies are twisted upon us because we're already targeted in society. It's as if people are using us because they know that we're the “easy way out” if you'd like to even call it that. Truth be told, I'm so sick and tired of hiding all these feelings and emotions in! We villains, as you like yo call us, deserve better, because we're just misunderstood beings that are somehow accused of every little thing that happens to your lovable main characters - cut us some slack for once, will you. Understand, that there's always more than one side to every story…

Daily // 3/20/24 //
Title // My prison
Word count // 405
I can't sleep. Not anymore. If I do, they'll come back. I wasn't always like this. There was a time I could sleep without the nightmares. There was a time I could walk without them tracking me. There was a time I was free from this prison cell. I was different then. Younger. Innocent. If I could go back, would I do it differently? No. No, I wouldn't. The right thing was done, whether it was done by me or someone else, it was done. I'm not proud of what I did, but I don't regret it either. I never wanted to be the way I am, but I am. I did a bad thing for a good cause, is that wrong? I don't know. I do know that ‘m not missed, and even if I was, it wouldn’t matter. I made my bed, now I have to lay in it. I just wish I had the chance to say goodbye, and I'm sorry. Even if they didn't accept it, they would know I was. They would know I knew it was a mistake. The only problem is that I wasn't sorry. I didn't regret what I did, and I didn't regret getting caught. You think this world is filled with good and bad people, and wonder what category you fall under, but the truth is, the world isn't that way. It's not filled with good or bad people, just people. We're all humans, we make mistakes, right? And you can learn from them, unless you're me. I was too late. I missed my chance, now I have that hanging over my head for the rest of my life. This is the ending to my fairy tale. I wasn't the villain, nor the hero, just me. This jail cell is my home now, that's how I think of it. Not as a prison, but as my place. I hope-
“Cindy,” My friend whispered to me.
I looked up, fiddling with my fingers.
“Finally.” I said. I stood up from the bench in the ‘jail’ which was really just my friends porch. “What took you so long?”
“James kept chasing me.”
I laughed. “Sorry for getting caught.”
She shrugged. “It's fine. It would've been a different story if I got caught.” She scanned the area, then tagged me freeing me from jail. “Fred's got the flag, we just gotta make sure he doesn't get caught.”
“Right.”

Passion Poem- Daily 20
221 words
A pillow is meant for heads to lean on
Mattresses made for minds to dream on
So many suffer from hands typing fast
To a score that won’t last
not for long
Let sleep come first, let sleep be the way
To find new ideas, to write and to play
Life’s made to live, to see with fresh eyes
To feel time as it flies
and blurs away
Don’t give a month to late, sleepless nights
Don’t fall for the call into shining blue lights
Don’t give precious hours to words, black and white
Always, the brightness of glory will fade
Transcending the barriers, that’s what we’ll do
We’ll tear open the doors that hold me and you
Go to sleep like they say, and yes, I’m going too
But whatever you choose
don’t stay awake

Don’t stay awake.
That’s what they say.
But I’m thinking of words.
I’m dreaming the pain.
‘Sleep, Twi’, you say, and you sit at the keys
Not falling asleep, despite everyone’s pleas
Writing into fruition yourselves at the top
No-one can let you stop
Oh, what liars are we
Stop lying, you fool, and stop trying to cram
SWC is not greater than sleep. It’s a scam.
I know what your time is, sleep early tonight
Sleep well till first light
hypocrite that i am.