DaEpikDude wrote:

Game: Chess
System: Probably
Release date: Old

Story: There are two armies that fight because we want them to

Presentation: The graphics can be really inconsistent, like on one setting you get these knobby things, another gives you realistic humans, and another just gives you flat 2D icons. Like, what!? Also, there's no music or sound effects. Did they even HAVE a sound designer?

Gameplay: The balance in this game is pretty bad, because they seem to have forgotten to add in something to help first move advantage. The person who goes first will probably win. Anyway, some of the pieces are useless, and you need to keep the most useless one alive for some reason. Why did people think this was a good idea? The monarchy doesn't matter anyway

Lasting appeal: Well, they got this right, I mean people are still playing it and it's got an active competitive and casual community. The meta's gotten a bit stale though.

Conclusion: This was a joke review that I put effort into, enjoy
Final score: Yes/10

I don't know how Chess works and I think that adds to how funny this is to me.

Spycapt54 wrote:

I don't know how Chess works

how

DaEpikDude wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

Game: Chess
System: Probably
Release date: Old

Story: There are two armies that fight because we want them to

Presentation: The graphics can be really inconsistent, like on one setting you get these knobby things, another gives you realistic humans, and another just gives you flat 2D icons. Like, what!? Also, there's no music or sound effects. Did they even HAVE a sound designer?

Gameplay: The balance in this game is pretty bad, because they seem to have forgotten to add in something to help first move advantage. The person who goes first will probably win. Anyway, some of the pieces are useless, and you need to keep the most useless one alive for some reason. Why did people think this was a good idea? The monarchy doesn't matter anyway

Lasting appeal: Well, they got this right, I mean people are still playing it and it's got an active competitive and casual community. The meta's gotten a bit stale though.

Conclusion: This was a joke review that I put effort into, enjoy
Final score: Yes/10

i'm just gonna bump this topic by quoting my joke review from the bottom of last page

enjoy

Actually in my opinion the only bad piece is the King because the Pawns can become Queens.

Spycapt54 wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

Game: Chess
System: Probably
Release date: Old

Story: There are two armies that fight because we want them to

Presentation: The graphics can be really inconsistent, like on one setting you get these knobby things, another gives you realistic humans, and another just gives you flat 2D icons. Like, what!? Also, there's no music or sound effects. Did they even HAVE a sound designer?

Gameplay: The balance in this game is pretty bad, because they seem to have forgotten to add in something to help first move advantage. The person who goes first will probably win. Anyway, some of the pieces are useless, and you need to keep the most useless one alive for some reason. Why did people think this was a good idea? The monarchy doesn't matter anyway

Lasting appeal: Well, they got this right, I mean people are still playing it and it's got an active competitive and casual community. The meta's gotten a bit stale though.

Conclusion: This was a joke review that I put effort into, enjoy
Final score: Yes/10

I don't know how Chess works and I think that adds to how funny this is to me.

You move the knobby things and try and prevent the King knobby thing from moving.

Actually should I make a chess topic?

I'm gonna be probably reviewing Slime Rancher soon.

Game: Monster Hunter Gen
System: 3DS
Release Date: 7/15/16 I think
Rating: 9.9/10
ESRB: T
Pegi: 12

Gameplay: I was confused at first on what I needed to do and stuff but after a while I got used to it but I recommend for people who have played one MH game. and I really couldn't figure out how HR works until latter on because I only saw stuff from MHW.

Adduince: I recommend for hardcore gamers and more on the hardcore side of gaming because it is pretty tough because you get very bad stuff*

Online: Playing online is fun I recommend it when you first start hunting so you can get help from other players from around the world who might be veterans to the series.

Overall Score: 9.9/10

*its pretty bad so just grind for a good weapon when you start because its like 2 def on all armor while other armor is higher. I recommend Long swords.

I put this as an example in my rating scale but I haven't actually reviewed it yet so here you go

Game: Super Mario Odyssey
System: Switch

Do yourself a favour and go play this game if you have a switch plz

Story: Welcome to the sky! In this strange sky we find Toadstool captured again! Looks like Bowser is at it again!

…No, really, that's basically the story.

Bowser kidnaps Peach (WHOA) because he wants to marry her (SPM, anyone?) and Mario gets smacked in the face and goes flying off. He finds a living cap person called “Cappy” and they go find Bowser in an airship.

Gameplay: So this game's all about collecting stuff. The main collectible in each world are the Power Moons which are necessary to progress, but there are also purple coins in each world that act as a single-world currency. Grabbing the moons is also INCREDIBLY satisfying. Like, INCREDIBLY satisfying. The normal coins act as a currency for costumes and stuff (and you also lose 10 if you die) and the purple coins buy world-specific costumes along with stickers and stuff for your airship.

Of course, a game about moving around worlds wouldn't be fun if moving around or the worlds weren't well designed, and I'm happy to say that Odyssey absolutely nails both of these. Just controlling Mario is incredibly fun, and pretty much all of the crazy movement stunts you can do only use three buttons! The capture mechanic is also great, with a few things you'll capture all the time and then a few that are just kinda for the lulz (like a giant slab of meat???). The worlds are also really well-designed: every nook and cranny of each level is packed full of stuff to collect, whether it be coins, the world's purple collectible, the hidden Cat Mario or Cat Peach icons, or those ever-satisfying moons. (Although that could be considered a flaw with the game, in that there are “too many” moons, I don't really feel like it's a problem considering that *collecting* the moons are more the main focus, rather than the moons themselves)

Presentation:
All the worlds in this game look great.
All the music in this game is great.
There are a bunch of different art styles in each of the worlds.
EVERYTHING IS GREAT.

Post-game content: Once you beat the main storyline, you can go back to each world and collect a bunch more moons in each one. (And hey, more content's always appreciated!) There are also two challenge levels: the Dark Side of the Moon, which is a boss gauntlet followed by some search missions in all the other worlds, and the Darker Side which is a super long, super hard platforming challenge (mostly based on captures). So there's no shortage of content here.

Conclusion: Super Mario Odyssey is great.
Like, it's just great.
Seriously.
If you have a Switch, go play this game.
If you don't have a Switch, see if one of your friends has one and go play it.
Just… just go play Odyssey.

Final score: 10/10 (Must play)

DaEpikDude wrote:

Bowser kidnaps Peach (WHOA) because he wants to marry her (SPM, anyone?)

that's not even close to the weirdest part of that game and I'm barely halfway through

BaconAndEggs1School wrote:

When you idle the game, you get all of the cubes and XP that were automatically mined for you, meaning that you can easily get to new levels if you leave it long enough. However, treasure chest rewards are not collected for you and still need to be manually obtained. This is the only way you can get new mining items too, though I haven't yet tested what happens if you skip enough levels as to get past the maximum unlock range. I'm guessing it's either blocked for the rest of that session or a pop-up comes up saying “Whoopsie! You just skipped an item! Don't worry, we'll unlock it for you! :-)”, with the possible addition of “for five diamonds”. I'll get back to everyone if I ever do that.

Came back to report that it's just blocked off, never to be mentioned again. I'm keeping the app, but only checking back every month so that I can amass billions of cubes.

DaEpikDude wrote:

Game: Chess
-snip-

Noice.

funnycoder wrote:

Game: Monster Hunter Gen
System: 3DS
Release Date: 7/15/16 I think
Rating: 9.9/10
ESRB: T
Pegi: I have n0 clue

Gameplay: I was confused at first on what I needed to do and stuff but after a while I got used to it but I recommend for people who have played one MH game. and I really couldn't figure out how HR works until latter on because I only saw stuff from MHW.

Adduince: I recommend for hardcore gamers and more on the hardcore side of gaming because it is pretty tough because you get very bad stuff*

Online: Playing online is fun I recommend it when you first start hunting so you can get help from other players from around the world who might be veterans to the series.

Overall Score: 9.9/10

*its pretty bad so just grind for a good weapon when you start because its like 2 def on all armor while other armor is higher. I recommend Long swords.

Monster Hunter Generations is PEGI 12, or the equivalent to America's Teen rating.

BaconAndEggs1School wrote:

Came back to report that it's just blocked off, never to be mentioned again. I'm keeping the app, but only checking back every month so that I can amass billions of cubes.

Came back to report that I'm totally wrong since I just unlocked that same item that I missed. So it's not a strict level requirement that motivates you to use the app constantly rather than idling it therefore making the whole experience somewhat engaging, it's just an approximation(???) of where you can find the items. So there's pretty much no challenge whatsoever. I'm thinking my review was far too forgiving.

DaEpikDude wrote:

-snip-

Also, the water looks very quenchable.

anyone get that referance

AppIIesauce wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

-sip-

Also, the water looks very quenchable.

anyone get that referance

fixed

AppIIesauce wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

-snip-

Also, the water looks very quenchable.

anyone get that referance

I T ' S T H E Q U E N C H I E S T !

DaEpikDude wrote:

AppIIesauce wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

-snip-

Also, the water looks very quenchable.

anyone get that referance

I T ' S T H E Q U E N C H I E S T !

slorp

PecanPi314 wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

AppIIesauce wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

-snip-

Also, the water looks very quenchable.

anyone get that referance

I T ' S T H E Q U E N C H I E S T !

slorp

so i'm getting that daepikdude gets it.

AppIIesauce wrote:

PecanPi314 wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

AppIIesauce wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

-snip-

Also, the water looks very quenchable.

anyone get that referance

I T ' S T H E Q U E N C H I E S T !

slorp

so i'm getting that daepikdude gets it.

It was Y O U! Y O U ratted me out!

DaEpikDude wrote:

AppIIesauce wrote:

PecanPi314 wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

AppIIesauce wrote:

DaEpikDude wrote:

-snip-

Also, the water looks very quenchable.

anyone get that referance

I T ' S T H E Q U E N C H I E S T !

slorp

so i'm getting that daepikdude gets it.

It was Y O U! Y O U ratted me out!

probably not

I've been playing Pikmin 3 and Freedom Planet lately. I'm not done with either game, but I highly recommend both of them!