March 20th || Spring poetry daily || 212/150 Words (NOT including the Kiaramble– that's 189 words by itself :zany: )

189 words
Wow, this has been such a year. Literally this time last year (almost this exact day what the heck)— I was curled up in my room, sobbing. I felt broken and tired and didn’t know how I was going to smile every day like nothing was wrong. Since then, I’ve learned that it’s okay not to smile, okay to admit your hurting. And sometime in that process, I stopped hurting and found something new inside me. I met a person— a wonderful, funny, (very short— not that we would make fun of them for it ;D) talented person who filled holes I didn’t even know our friend group had. I did (takes a moment to count) four auditions and participated in two musicals, got a baby cousin <3, went to Japan, and am now about to start high school! I am so incredibly grateful for everything I’ve done and experienced– the highs, the lows, the inbetweens– and… my heart just feels so full as I write this. I hope I can continue to grow through these next years, and now it’s time to actually write a poem sldkfj <33

212 words
Cue the stagelights
But practiced smile
Isn’t so artificial anymore

Fake it till you make it
But I feel like I’ve made it
After all the years of storm

I did so many things— saw so many places
And now a new spring is arising,
Growing colorful flower buds where
There was once just barren land

The beach is replenished,
With sparkling golden shores
Instead of just black sand.

For I left a love, or what I thought was that
And never, ever looked back.

And I found a person,
Who sees me for me
And understands every word I’ve never said.

So cue the stagelights,
As I begin to shine
And take the place that was always mine
But now is just brighter,
And with more joy
I win not just the battle
But also the war

For the exhaustion, and the broken and the pain
Have since disappeared, down the drain
Filled now with love, with joy and understanding
A happy future— but not quite what I was planning

For there were things I could never foresee-
People I didn’t even know,
But now who have formed
A new type of home

So cue the stagelights,
And turn up the sound
For what was once lost
Has now been found

March 21st || Is this true or is this just a myth? (Help this not good at all I’m so tired </3) || 455/400 Words

The entire world was colorful in front of her, and she was unsure if what she was seeing was true. The lights of Mylenia shimmered above her, the whole place seeming to stay still in this one moment– where the city came to life.

She was a traveler, an explorer, a searcher of truths in far-off lands. So obviously, Mylenia was a far ways from her own kingdom, the place that she called home. She was scared didn’t really know what lay ahead, but she knew she was going to treasure all the time she got to spend in this beautiful place.

Allie wandered the streets, hearing the vendors call out things in her ears, in many different languages. Mylenia was known as the hub of the world, but she hadn’t really realized how much that was true until this very moment. Allie inspected different things resting on shelves or racks, tilting her head back and forth as she waited and watched jewelry glittering, hanging from looms and draped around wrists. Her pickpocketing notion from her childhood came back to her in full force, and she had to physically restrain herself from snatching anything shiny that she saw– she knew that it wouldn’t lead her to the place she wanted to be in life.

She was still unsure if the place was reality or just some myth her tired mind was creating for her. It was impossible, that after all the traveling and resting at stinky inns or on rocking boats, that she was finally here, at the place she had dreamed of being her entire childhood. It was so surreal, and she didn’t want to touch anything for fear it would dissolve at her fingertips.

This was the place she thought she was going to make a life for herself in, the place her mother had told her stories of when she was just a small child, untouched by the bigger world, a world that she now knew all too well. The smells of a nearby bakery filled her nose, and she gasped at the realization she hadn’t eaten food other than hard crackers and stale bread in a long, long time.

But she didn’t dare buy something– she would find cheaper food at whatever inn she chose to stay in for the night. She couldn’t risk spending her small amount of money on anything but the barest necessities. She would get a minimum wage job– perhaps even working at an inn, as she was so familiar with them now. Then she would slowly work her way up in the scholastic world, letting people know all the things she had seen and experienced within her journey.

She could do this. She knew she could.

March 23rd || Hostie Power ✨ || 370/350 Words

Okay being completely honest I have absolutely no idea what I would do xD but I feel like it would be super fun to have a lot more chaos and stuff during cabin wars– I loved the race this session but I feel like there could have been a lot more interactivity because I feel like SWClue and Balrog-Gurtle were so fun and also like whole-camp-chaos kind of vibe and this one wasn’t as much?

Also, I feel like it would be a lot of fun to have more activities to do for point than just dailies and weeklies, I’m not sure what they were but I feel like offering more opportunities for points might help negate the value of the writing comp a little (talked about later) and also just provide campers with more opportunities to do stuff if they so choose! Like obviously I find myself busy a lot of the time with things like cabin managing and adding words (which I still need to do sometime in this century :skull: ) but also when I’m a camper there are times when I wish I had more to do!


And the writing competition– I love that all those talented writers are getting recognition for their work, but I feel like people do this camp because they love writing, and you don’t have to be really good at something to love doing it. Also, I feel like there are a lot of the same people winning awards session after session (which is nothing against them because literally their writing is so so incredible and they deserve every single award like OMG some of those pieces have my jaw on the floor) but at the same time I feel like having those couple of people in a cabin shouldn’t make or break where they are in the standings. I love the fact that there is a writing competition, but I feel like the amount of points that an individual earns should not be as focused on the writing competition, and the point of the writing competition should be to get feedback on ones’ work and writing and see how they could improve for future irl writing competitions or other things <3

Weekly 3 || 2,750/1,850 Words

Part 1 || Tropes pros and cons || 813/250 Words

Part 1a || Friends to Lovers || 207/50 words

Pros:
It’s so fun and I just think it actually builds a basis of my version of “love” because for me, at least, to actually love somebody– whether that be as a friend or something more– there needs to be a basis of trust. When people love each other as friends before actually like “lovers” then there is that trust already built and I feel like it makes the whole thing way more authentic and believable to me.
It’s cute because normally one friend falls first and then it’s like a sort of “the reader can see it the whole time why can’t they” sort of situation

Cons:
Probably going to end up saying this with all the tropes but: IT’S SO PREDICTABLE
It can get very annoying that boys and girls just can’t stay friends. Like they can. I promise you they can. Why does this have to be such a common trope because it like promotes the fact that boys and girls can’t just be close friends– which is entirely untrue and I feel like boy-girl friendships can be very like good things because there is a lot of things that circle around drama and stuff and I feel like those relationships can be separated from that.

Part 1b || The Chosen One || 187/50 words

Pros:
It really sets up the story in my opinion because they are like the prophesied one and you like know from the start that there are these big expectations of them and there is honestly a lot of flexibility and variance in these because there is no written ending. They could turn out to be the villain! It honestly is very like open ended and not always predictable– if done in the right way!
Especially if they have powers its very interesting to see them struggle with it and stuff because you know that they will probably master those powers but you are rooting them on the whole way!

Cons:
It is sometimes discouraging to think that your favorite side character isn’t going to be the hero after all ;D
And also at times it can get a little bit boring if they are made to be too “all powerful” or if they get entitled and snobby if it isn’t written well because then it just reads like Harry Potter where they are so flat and dry as characters and that doesn’t make for a very good book.

Par 1c || The Reluctant Hero || 114/50 words

Pros:
Lots of internal struggles and brings a lot of complex dynamics to the story!
Opens up lots of pathways for possible deviation from the plan– maybe the reluctancy turns into villany? Or something else interesting happens!

Cons:
Yes. We get it. They save the world. They get over their powers and become some sort of big hero and then are like “why didn’t I do this in the beginning? This could have saved us a good hundred pages!”
Can sometimes be a little annoying because they are just soooooo reluctant and don't’ see thing things right in front of them and the reader knows that they will cave eventually so why don’t they cave sooner

Part 1d || The Mentor || 122/50 words

Pros:
Yoda could be viewed as more of mentor figure– he’s such an interesting and complex character, it can open up pathways for worldbuilding through people who are very knowledgeable.
Characters can be interesting, they don’t always have to be old men who know everything about the world ;D Like with everything, if they are written well this trope could be very intriguing!

Cons:
Readers don’t want to be as connected with these characters because they know, they just know, they’re going to d!e for character development and to rid the character of this constant source of information and training and security! If the mentor is always doing all the saving, then what is the point of not making them the main character?

Part 1e || Time Travel Problems ✨ || 183/50 words

Pros:
Imagining the butterfly effect is so interesting and it’s just something that I love playing with personally and thinking about it just makes me very happy so I always love when there is the possibility of time travel problems!
Brings an air of mystery to the whole thing and makes it very open ended and leaves readers guessing. And when the characters get stuck in the past that’s a whole thing as well that really brings drama

Cons:
Okay is it just me or are there a bunch of books/movies/TV shows that are like “Oh yeah! And there's the butterfly effect and time travel!” as like just like something to add dynamics? Like it’s not very tightly tied into the story or the worldbuilding and just added on as like sort of a “fun little extra” and I don’t love that
It’s just so. Common. There are so many different books that do this and I feel like it is so interesting but also if not done in a good way it can just fall apart or seem so loose and open-ended.

Part 2 || Trope incorporation || 431/400 Words

They stared at the threads held tight, burning brightly against the machine they had created.

Leala looked at both of her best friends. “You do know this could potentially mess up everything, right? We could never have met, we might never be friends.”

Joshya sighed, looking again at the machine, at the glittering threads of time that were now theirs to pull, to control. “I know. I know that. But I feel like it’s a risk we have to take. If things are fixed… if we can’t go back in the past and get the formula when we had the chance, then this whole place might be overrun with the Infliction. And we can’t let that happen. Leala… we can’t.”

Bradley nodded, not having to say any words but also reminding the two of them that he was going to do his job no matter what. Leala and Joshya would travel back in time to retrieve the formula, and put it somewhere where it could be found in the present day. Bradley would retrieve it and administer it to the Inflicted. Then, hopefully, they could prevent the spread of this disease and keep the entire ship from being infected and turned into basically brain-rotted zombies.

So Joshya grabbed one of the threads with his left hand, linked hands with Leala with his right. He took one last look at Bradley, and then smiled at his best friend. Maybe in this next future that him and Leala would for sure alter, they had never met each other. But Joshya knew that he would be grateful for each and every moment spent with his best friend.

So Joshya, with one final glance, pulled the thread, sending him and Leala into the past.

–

The two of them tumbled onto the same deck where they had been standing only moments before, except this time it was for an entirely different mission. They both knew where they were– the deck of their ship, as they traveled to Kilai for their recruitment mission. This was where they had bartered for the freedom of Yasmin, where they had discovered the cure in the first place.

Both of them ducked behind a crate as figures walked into the room.

“We can't be caught by anybody.” Leala cautioned “We don't want to mess up the future more than we already are by just being here.”

Joshya nodded, understanding.

As their past selves walked into the room as well, both held their breaths, praying that nobody would hear them.

Joshya's foot knocked over a bottle.

Past Leala spun around. “Who's there?”

Part 3 || Harry Potter (the chosen one) but he was never told he was chosen (I’m seriously running out of ideas today and this is the first one that came to my head slkdfj) || 631/500 Words

It wasn’t too long ago that Harry was thrust into this world of wizardry– with nothing else but a wand and some insane courage. He wasn’t sure why it had been him that Hagrid had come and found, why Snape didn’t like him, or why everybody wanted to be his friend. He was just the boy raised by the Dursleys, and he didn’t know why everybody was treating him like he was such a big deal.

So as he looked at the entrance of the trapdoor, Hermione and Ron at his side, he wondered why it was him that had to defeat this beast, why it was him who had to stop Voldemort. There was nothing even remotely special about him, nothing but the scar on his forehead (which he had always hated) that made him different than all the other students at Hogwarts.

“Harry, you have to do this.” Ron said quietly behind him, and Harry whipped to Ron, confused.

“Why?” It was his favorite question– it annoyed everybody else but it was such a nice word.

“Because you’re basically the chosen one,” Hermione said, in her accent that everybody shared but somehow seemed so much more educated when she said it.

Harry looked at her, the large dog behind them hardly an issue now. “The chosen one? What do you mean? Why am I chosen?”

Ron scoffed, “You were touched by You-Know-Who and nothing happened! Of course you’re the chosen one.”

Harry touched the scar on his forehead. What were they talking about– about him being the chosen one? He had never ever thought there was anything special about him, nothing about him that was different or outstanding. He was just a normal boy, trying to exist in this new world.

“You mean Voldemort?”

“Be quiet, Harry.” Hermione scolded, and Harry could tell she was still shocked he said the name with so much ease.

“Yes, I’m sure you’ve heard the story so many times.” Ron responded.

Harry shook his head, “I’ve never heard anything about this until now.”


Ron looked shocked. “You mean you have no idea how special you are?”

“Hush, Ron, or he might get a bigger ego than he already has.” Hermione scolded gently.

“Basically, when V– I mean You-Know-Who, came for your parents, he tried to k1ll you too. But something stopped him. That’s why you have that scar on your forehead. You are the boy who survived! Harry Potter! Please tell me somebody has explained this to you before now and you haven’t just been sitting in the dark all these months,” Ron pleaded.

Harry shook his head in disbelief, “I just thought that Hagrid came to me because of who my parents were, I knew they d1ed, but I always believed my aunt and uncle when they said they had d1ed in a car crash. I never had a reason to doubt it before now.”

Hermione shook her head, a pitying look in her eyes, “Harry, that’s why everything is happening the way it is. Why Dumbledore loves you, why Snape hates you, why it’s you who has to stop You-Know-Who and not anybody else. Because it was you that he couldn’t k1ll. It is you who has the protection.”

It suddenly all made sense, clicking before Harry’s eyes. Why everything had played out the way that it did, why there were some things that hadn’t quite made sense before now. But now, seeing everything clearly, Harry could realize why everybody seemed to treat him just slightly differently than they did everybody else. Why Draco harbored such a grudge against him.

“So that means that– I’m the one who has to do this.” Harry repeated, his voice steadier than it had been.

“That is literally what I just said,” Hermione said, unamused.

Part 4 || Three Tropes: Friends to Lovers, The Chosen One, The Mentor || 875/700 Words

The glowing flower before Lorelei didn’t lie. She had magic.

She looked up at Robin, her eyes wide with wonder, with understanding.

Robin rested his hand on her shoulder, the kind of fatherly act that he always seemed to be doing. “You know what this means, Lei.”

She did, and she didn’t like it. But she would face it, because she knew that she was their only hope. “I’m the Princess Rising. And I’m the only one in this world who can save our people.”

Many years ago, years before the Corrupt King took power, there had been a powerful prophet. He had seen a vision, relaying it to the people. He said that there would come a time where the kingdom was full of shadows, where people would turn against each other and the crown in fear and anger. He said that the whole kingdom would suffer, but through the darkness there would be a light. He called her the Princess Rising, told the kingdom that the woman that possessed magic in a world that would be magic-less would rise to power, would have enough power to overthrow the reign of shadows. He said that they had to trust her when she came, or nothing would ever happen.

Years later, centuries later, everybody had lost hope that the Princess Rising would ever come about. They had settled into their ways of thievery, of stealing and danger, and distrusted anyone claiming to be the Princess Rising. There had been too many fakes, people who just wanted the power or a chance to overthrow the Corrupt King, too many people had lost their lives supporting these fakes, that people now thought that the Princess Rising never even existed, that it was just a thought of the future that the Prophet gave the people.

But now Lorelei knew that it was true, that she was the woman foretold, who would save their kingdom from the reign of shadows.

“Come back tomorrow, and we will begin our lessons,” Robin said smoothly. Robin had been a father figure to her ever since she was a child, whose own parents had been k1lled when they had been exposed as rebel supporters. They had long told their young daughter, Lorelei herself, that if anything were to happen to them, she would need to find Robin in his house, that he would keep her safe.

So for the first ten years of Lorelei’s life after her parents’ d3@th, she had stayed with Robin. It was only recently that she began to venture off, to take refuge in other places, spend her days healing the sick at the hospital wards, recruiting younger people to the rebels’ cause. She knew it was dangerous, but to her, doing something was better than nothing.

As she stepped out of Robins’ house to the damp streets outside, she was joined by another figure, one that seemed to blend into the shadows as naturally as breathing. Her heart thumped a little quicker with the presence, but years of training schooled her how to keep it off of her face.

A gentle tap to her shoulder, and Lorelei turned, as if she hadn’t seen him there all along. He stepped into the light, his face spreading into a roguish grin and he ran a hand through his red-brown hair, a sort of auburn color that Lorelei had grown to love.

“Hello, Mateo,” Lorelei said, careful to come across as unbothered, even as her cheeks flushed despite the cool night.

“Hello, Lei.” He said, answering just as formally, making her laugh.

The two of them had been friends ever since Robin had invited his family over for a rebel meeting to plan something or other. They had brought Mateo, only twelve years old at the time. For the six years after that, the two of them had been inseparable, and still were. Mateo knew not to bother her as she trained with Robin, though, and she paid him the same respect.

Mateo also worked for the rebellion, though he worked as a thief and an @$$@$in, making sure that anybody who even thought of selling out rebel secrets was put down. Lorelei was more of a on-the-streets girl, she recruited and worked to heal rebels who had gotten injured.

“I see you managed to survive another encounter with the police.” Lorelei said dryly, taking in the purple bruise that was spreading on the side of Mateo’s face.

Being with him made it easy to forget her duties, forget the future, forget the fact that she had magic and was supposed to save the whole kingdom.

“Did you really expect any less of me?” Mateo teased, punching Lorelei’s shoulder in what he probably thought was a gentle fashion– he had been training for so long that he didn’t know how to be gentle anymore.

But even that small touch made Lorelei’s heart race, and she took a large step away from him. Recently, their friendship made her feel a little bit uneasy, though she couldn’t put a finger on exactly what it was.

So she just kept her distance, but not too much distance, because Mateo helped her retain a small semblance of normal in her very much un-normal life.

Cages of Silk
1140 words

TW: Mentions of illness and poverty

The beauty of the French opera was unmatched– golden swirls, red curtains, grand stages, tall pillars of white marble.

Gentle music flowed out from a huge grand piano set center stage, where a young man sat in an elegant black suit with his eyes closed as his fingers danced across the keys.

Behind the stage, the story wasn’t the same.

Young Marie Genevive van Goethem sat in the wings, every single bone and limb etched with the same elegance as the stage outside. Her nose turned up, on the verge of being haughty. Every piece of her sat in complete stillness and grace, knowing that if she moved one inch, drew attention to herself, she would become a victim. She was a petit rat, one of the opera rats of Paris. For as long as she could remember, she had gone to dance school, gliding around on pointe until her feet were bruised and swollen. Kept a tight grip on the silken threads of her humanity and self-esteem that the dark world wanted to rip away from her.

Other patrons and performers flitted around her, covered in elegant costumes made of the best that France had to offer. It was a performance, after all, and what was the point of performance except to exaggerate the truth? The truth of the wealthy, those who were gifted simply by being born. Just the thought made Marie want to scoff.

“Stand, girl,” Somebody said, Marie didn’t see who, and she stood, because she knew what would come after if she didn’t obey, didn’t yield to the stifling chains of her world.

Red gloves tightened the laces of her costume, and Marie wondered if it could go much tighter. Her body was thin and fragile, like a baby bird that had been starved for far too long. She would have bruises later, purple marks that the public would tell her to hide, to cover, because the world could be dark, but the surface had to be pale and pristine.

Lies. They all told lies. That was how you got through in this world.

But Marie said nothing, allowed the laces to be yanked tighter until she struggled to draw even a shallow breath. “That’s better,” The voice said, and the person stepped away from her. She stood with as much ridgedness as she dared, every brush against her skin– whether it be intentional or not– making her shiver and flinch away.

The piano was moved to the side of the stage, and the elegant man took a seat again, playing the opening chords as the crowd went silent, waiting to be enraptured by this story.

Stories. Lies.

Marie never believed in stories. The opera was a place where innocent girls were taken advantage of, where the world seemed to close its doors upon those inside, forcing them to dance to the same melodies day after day.

But Marie had no choice but to obey, to dance to the melodies placed in front of her. She had to, for her family was struggling too much as it was.

Remember.

She remembered her mother, curled up in her bed, unable to rise, unable to go to work.

She remembered the sad state of the small apartment where they lived, the dust collecting on the floor, the candles they had lit dripping to nothing.

She remembered her sister, entering the apartment, her hair tousled, her right eye black and swollen, her hands shaking. Her sister had immediately collapsed on the floor, sobbing.

Her own family, broken to the point of no repair. Something she didn’t dare dwell on, as if by ignoring it her family would stitch itself back together.

Remember. But what did one do when it hurt to remember?

The outward display of extravagance in the opera house made Marie sick. Why were these people allowed to have silken clothes and warm beds, clean houses and servants, when her own family was forced to struggle and work for meager pay, just to keep on existing in this world alongside them? Why must they exist as lesser? What Being decided that finer clothes and birth decided who was worthy enough to live in this world, and who was replaceable?

Status. Something Marie didn’t have the luck to have.

Her cue music played, and Marie sucked in her pain, her horror, her disgust, and rose on pointe, her feet protesting, sending sharp pain up her legs. She ignored it. Remembrance. It was for her family that she did this.

She could feel the crowd sneer as she stepped onto stage, whispers breaking behind their hands. Asking why her nose had an almost hawkish point, why the outline of her ribs protruded out of her costume, why her eyes were sunken, framed by dark circles that even powder couldn’t conceal. She wondered why beauty mattered, why some features were treasured, and others frowned upon.

Lies.

The other opera rats joined her, and the crowd was soothed by the beauty of a few. At least they weren’t all as ugly, they probably thought. At least their abuse didn’t affect everybody in that ugly, horrid way. If it made them sleep at night, they would believe anything.

The ribbons from her costume ran a circle around Marie as she twirled, forming a cage so tight Marie could hardly breathe for fear that even the slightest touch would make the entire world turn against her and her family, and they would have nothing left.

Remember.

Her sister, sobbing on the ground. Her mother, too ill to get out of bed.

The rest of her family was allowed to fall apart, but she couldn’t. She knew she couldn’t.

So no matter how much her feet hurt, she kept dancing for the audiences that looked down their noses at her, whispered behind their hands, insulted her, hurt her, if they were given the chance. Who would go back to their warm feather beds at night, curtains drawn, and be able to forget all about that ‘horrid little girl at the opera,’ soothing themselves as they threw money at churches, donations to make them feel better.

As if any amount of money could heal the suffering they had inflicted to her and her family– their minds, their bodies, their souls. What they had done to every opera rat, every person in this world that was struggling. But of course they wouldn’t acknowledge that. They would hide their eyes behind gilded screens of gold and silk.

Lies. Stories. Control. Remembrance. Status.

The beauty of the French opera was unmatched–

Lies.

Golden swirls–

Stories.

red curtains, grand stages–

Status.

tall pillars of white marble–

Remember.

And girls who danced because their families were falling apart, who danced for patrons who wanted nothing more but to escape for a little while–

Truth.

Pain.

But still, she danced.

Author's note (not included in the word count): I was introduced to The Little Ballerina Aged Fourteen (a statue by Edgar Degas) by a show choir show. The statue was something I looked up later, and when I saw the original statue, the story behind it, it entranced me. The way the model held herself, relaxed but maintaining every ounce of dignity she could was awe-inspiring. So was her story– Marie Genevive van Goethem, who worked as an opera rat because it was how her family got by, by doing the dark, undesirable jobs. When I wrote this story, I knew I wanted it to start beautifully, and then break down until the raw truths of the world were clearly visible to the reader. By the end, the beauty was built back up, but the reader could still see the cracks. It is both a deep exploration of class-divide and what it means to be ‘worthy.’ It was a lot of fun to write, and hopefully you enjoyed reading it as well <3 And while much of this story was twisted from the truth, I wrote it with the original story in mind. If her story interests you– and maybe even if it doesn’t– I encourage you to go and do some research, since there’s so much more to young Marie and all the opera rats than I’ve managed to cover here!

Hi Muxa <3 I'm just going to critique some things that I think could be shortened/edited so you can cut down your word count! Feel free to take my advice or not, this is your writing and I'm just suggesting some different things you can play around with!

The chatter and action within the bright, stone walled hallway starkly contrasted the slow-moving business of the city in slumber that was just outside of the window. The council was making their way down the hallway and into the meeting room. Guards stood watch outside of the door, holding magic tipped spears within their paws.

Right off from the start, there are a few things you can cut down! You use a lot of double-adjectives here, and I feel like it might have the same impact if you drop one of the two adjectives. I've bolded some of the double adjectives just for reference!

The council were adorned with formal décor, though Virna had a bit more of a subtle appearance compared to the rest. They were led by a large navy-colored eshizuru. He dipped his head respectfully to the guards as they passed through the entryway to the meeting room.

Since your main goal is to cut down words, my main critique is just going to be cut down anything that doesn't add to the story. For example, do we really need to know that it is navy-colored? If yes (I'm critiquing as I go sldkfj), then leave it in. If it is not absolutely essential to the story, let it go.

It felt like a while, but it really had only been a couple of months. Council meetings had to be frequent, though Virna felt that they were far too infrequent for his likings.

You use a lot of repetitive phrases here– you've already said that it's been a couple of months, so you don't have to restate that phrase again. And the last sentence in this quote seems to be a little confusingly worded? I think there is probably a way to play around with it so that it has less words but still carries the same meaning <3

“I do wish they were more frequent, though. There are a lot of important matters to discuss in these meetings…” Virna said, trailing off a bit. His eyes flashed a glance at Keyka to his left

One of the downsides of critiquing as I go sldkjf– but you've just said that Virna wishes that the meetings were more frequent, so you don't really have to say it earlier!

ruffling the feathers of his wings that were resting to his side.

You don't have to tell the reader that his wings were resting to his side– that isn't really a piece of information that's essential to the writing!

raising his voice over the silent laughter.

Not really related to cutting down words but why does he have to raise his voice if the laughter is silent? You could just cut off the tail end of that phrase and put ‘raising his voice’ if you wish <3

This next section seems to be a little bit disjointed from the piece- are all these different tactics and strategies really necessary to include for the plotline? If you need to, I'd make sure to only keep the pieces of information that are needed for character development and cut everything else, especially as all this information can get confusing at times

It was not enough to appease the disturbed council as whispers still brewed among them.

I feel like this could also be reworded to be both clearer and shorter!

He thought he heard Adekhi completely silent during it.

'During it' is not really needed

The meeting kept going on for hours, though it had been wrapped up for a while before he made for his departure. Most of it was not productive discussion filled with snide remarks. Virna played no part in the overall discussion, mostly mulling over all of the problems around Unebia. There was a lot going on throughout Unebia that was being completely blindsided by the rest of the individuals on the council.

I honestly feel like this whole paragraph could be reworded into a couple of sentences– play around with it and see if you like it

Adekhi was the only one who put the bare minimum of effort, yet at the same time he was not. Taisi was another that acted, almost on his behalf even.

This is probably something that could be combined into a single sentence, maybe something like “Adekhi and Taisi tried to take action, but the amount of effort the former put in was lacking.” Or something along those lines?

Life was moving on in the city beyond the walls, even if it was at a sluggish pace there was still life.

This sentence is a bit wordy, you could probably reword it to be shorter!

There were few that surrounded him, mostly those who were boarding the airship to get shipments moved up to the northern port.

Is the reason that there are a few people there really needed in the story? If not, cut it. If yes, then leave it!

There was the sound of someone approaching in a hurry. Virna turned to see an ilustros approaching him adorned in armor. She appeared to be one of the guards underneath Taisi or from Elstren – either way, she had to have been someone told to speak to him. He had never seen this ilustros in his life, but Virna could tell that he was intentionally approaching him.

This is also something I feel like could be reworded, something along the lines of “A figure adorned in armor – an ilustros, Virna realized– approached in a hurry. She might have been a guard underneath Taisi or from Elstren– either way, somebody had told her to speak to him. She moved with intention towards him, though Virna had never seen her before.”

Even that I feel like is a bit wordy, just feel free to play around with it <3

I wish I could be of more help, but I feel like there isn't much to say except only keep what is absolutely necessary for the plot development, and make sure that you aren't saying the same thing over and over again! This is a wonderful piece, and thank you for sharing it with me <3

Critique for Gigi || 716 words (excluding quotes)

Hi Gigi! I'm so excited to critique your piece <3 Ofc the normal disclaimer that these are just my suggestions and ideas, so feel free to keep what works and throw out what doesn't! That said, I can also get quite picky on word choice and sentence flow, so if something doesn't make sense to you, then feel free to not use it at all! I also critique as I go along, with a final recap at the end– so something may not make sense to me that is clarified by the end of the piece <3

A beetle scuttled across the damp motel floor.

Not critique but I love this opening line!

it was brown from dirt and there was at least two drowned spiders.

There is a bit of vague pronoun usage in this sentence, because from the description it seems that ‘it’ is being used to describe the bathroom, but in the flow of the sentence my original thought was that ‘it’ was describing the beetle.

seeming random spots marked in red ink and pages upon pages of information on other murder victims.

Real quick note but would it be ‘seemingly?’ I don't know but I feel like that might read better <3

thanked the scouts for still using ordnance survey to develop their survival skills.

What ‘scouts’ are he referring to, and why is he thanking them?

He pulled the shroud in his mind away and finds another shroud. He doesn’t try again.

It might be just me but something doesn't read quite right in the flow of this sentence with the previous one– is it a tense shift? Because I feel like “he pulled the shroud away and found another shroud. He didn't try again.” Would read better? I'm not entirely sure ahaha

Kyron didn’t know if he could forgive Boo if he turned on the news tomorrow and Lauren Hill had died.

I think that it's kind of odd that Boo is only introduced halfway through this piece– unless there is some reason you had in mind? If there isn't, then perhaps include a vague reference to Boo earlier in the piece?

Okay that is it with specific critique! Now onto story flow and character!

Okay I love Kyron's character– I feel like there is a lot of complexity that you get without having to outright describe any of it, which I love. However, I feel like his motivation isn't quite clear– why is he reaping people? Is it some duty that was given to him, or is it his punishment for something, or something else? I feel like giving him a reason for doing all of this might help, especially to heighten the stakes when the reader learns that he didn't reap Boo like he was supposed to. Also, I feel like this is touched on a little bit but not too much is how Kyron feels about all these reapings. This is something he's done quite a few times, I would assume, so how does all of that weigh on him, or does it?

I would also love to see Boo some more and get a little bit of his characterization, I can tell that he's super caring and supportive, but how does he feel about what Kyron did– or what he refused to do. Did Boo and Kyron meet before or after Boo's death? I totally get if this isn't something you can include in this excerpt, but I think it would be very interesting if that's something we could see!

And finally, Zara. I would also love to get more of her, she seems to be there just to further the plot along, but I think it would be super interesting if she was a little bit unique in some way! She seems very mature for her age, perhaps harp on that a little bit? And how does she feel about her sister, if you chose to mention it? She doesn't have to know about what Laura did, but something about her mentioning her sister might help add some tension to the story as well!

And finally, story flow! I think everything pieces together rather nicely, and the story seems to have a full arc! However, I do think the ending does seem a little bit rushed and not totally complete, I feel that since this whole story has a very start-to-finish vibe and doesn't rest on a cliffhanger, that it could have a little bit of a more complete ending? Of course, this is totally up to you to decide in the end <3

Overall, I love this writing! It's a lot of fun to read and kept me engaged the whole time, and the concept is so well-done and interesting. Thank you for sharing this with me and best of luck!

Hi Silvi! I'm so excited to read your piece <3 (AND OOO ONE OF US IS LYING THEME :eyes Just letting you know that these are just my suggestions, so feel free to keep what works and toss what doesn't! That being said, I'm super excited to get into critiquing this <3

I sat, shaking in my seat uncontrollably as Bronwyn swerved into the vast, looming driveway. An intimidating building rose above us, its beige brick walls adorned with intricate carvings. A lump rose in my throat. The next few hours would determine whether Jake would go to jail. Or whether he would stay.

This is a great opening paragraph! I feel like it sets up the story really well. That being said, I have a quick note about the bolded section– the description doesn't seem that necessary, ‘shaking in my seat’ would work, as uncontrollably kind of takes away from the sentence in my opinion!

“He always pretended to be so… flawless. He had this sort of charm about him and he always got his way. If I was wearing the wrong clothes, if my hair was done up how he didn’t want, if I wanted to go somewhere that he didn’t like then he would always somehow change it. He made me feel like I was just second-best.”
“I wanted someone who would make me feel like I mattered. When around Jake I just felt like I was nothing. I felt like his opinion mattered more than mine, far more. I was just some background noise for him to come back to and use. TJ made me feel loved. I felt so guilty, but I knew I couldn’t stay with you. You were ruining my life.”

Just a quick note, but the first sentence the rest of this paragraph doesn't make sense. This isn't something she would be spilling in a court case, nor something that the judges would want to hear. You could, however, talk about how this either amuses or makes the court kind of mad, assuming that she's just “a lovestruck teen girl” or something along those lines <3

He screamed, waving his fist. His muscles bulging, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a gun.

WOAH PLOT TWIST :eyes:

I love this! But as I critique it I'm afraid I have to poke a few holes </3 If he's being convicted of a crime, you think that he'd be checked to make sure he has no dangerous items on his persons, and they most certainly would have caught the gun. However! If you can think of a way he could hide it or mention Addy's shock that it hadn't been caught by security, that would fix that up <3

Overall, I think this piece is super fun! It covers the court case so well, and I think it builds up a proper amount of drama and suspense while still touching what happens in the original books. Here are a few things I'd ask if you're interested in adding words and/or developing the piece some more. But if not, then I think this is wonderful <33

- I'd love to see more characterization in Addy! I'd love to get more inside her head and think about how she feels about this whole ordeal, and it's obvious that Jake has sort of twisted her mind, but I'd love to see even more of that slight corruption.
- Okay this is a small detail but where is Bronwyn during all of this? Is she in the room, or was she just there to greet Addy?
- I'd love more description of the room where the court is being held, and even more description of the judge and Hazel!

If you need another critique of this piece once you've made some edits, feel free to reach out! I'll get it to you asap, which will probably be sometime tomorrow ahaha <33 Thank you for letting me read this, and best of luck in the competition <33

March 25th || Holidays! || 292/250 Words

We all know how boring the months of January, February and March can sometimes get for those in the Northern Hemisphere. With no breaks to speak of, dreary and cold winter weather, those three months are certainly my least favorite.

But what if there was a holiday– bigger than Valentine's day and more on-par with winter holidays, that would give us the festive spirit that we so desperately need (seriously. I’m jealous of cultures with big February holidays <3). This would be Snoweves day, a day where we celebrate that cold and dreary weather by turning it into something magical. It’s all about finding the magic and whimsy in nature all around us. Parks would hold concerts and special events, the primary decorations would be winter flowers and anything symbolizing nature.

There would probably be at least some gift-giving, though the typical presents exchanged would be good food (especially desserts) and stuffed animals to children, allowing them to realize the beauty of the natural world. There would be encouragement for families to get outside and go on hikes, or go to the park or playground, even in the cold weather. It would also be a day of community, where people would get together to share the food with loved ones and family members, and maybe even eat it outside!

Not only would this holiday promote nature and communities, it would also give students a well-deserved break off of school, and you wouldn’t have to worry that they were spending the day playing video games or on Youtube, since the norm would be to go outside and enjoy everything that nature has to offer. This way, the monotony of the school year could be broken up by this day of community and nature.

March 26th || Past Daily! I chose the International Womens’ Day Daily because I want to write my mother a letter hehe <33 || 561/500 Words

Mom–

I know that I already wrote you at least a couple hundred words on your birthday, but I feel like that wasn’t enough to cover even the surface of everything you’ve done for me, all the memories we’ve made– good and bad. One of my teachers told us that “nobody loves you more than your parents,” and while in some peoples’ cases I do question that, I am lucky enough to never question that with you. I know that the love that we share– as a family, as mother and daughter, as two people who have seen and done so many things together. My first words, my first steps, my first audition, my first show, you’ve seen it all. There is literally nobody else on earth (except dad <3) who can say that they’ve seen it all. And there is nobody else on earth who has been this supportive of me through it all.

No matter what state you’re in at the moment, no matter if you’re sick or tired, you always show up for me. And recently I’ve tried to be better about showing up for you, too. I hope that it shows. You deserve it, after everything you’ve done for me. When I spent the whole morning crying about the role I didn’t get– you were there for me. When I spent the whole afternoon in an excited haze about the role that I did get– you were there cheering me on every second of the way.

You are the one who listens while I rant about my teachers, you are the one who listens when I have something funny that happened during my day that I want to share. No matter what, you are always there. And that is something that nobody else in my life can say– except you. And I’m so so glad that I’ve got to spend all fourteen years of my life with you, alongside you, hanging out with you and spending time with you. You are the person who made these fourteen years special– and while they haven’t all been happy, you’ve been along the ride for the lows as well. So thank you for that. Thank you for what you’ve already done and for the future I’m so excited to have with you.

I know that this is an… interesting period of my life, to say the least. There are so many things that are changing, things that you didn’t have to deal with when you were my age. There are show choir meetings to go to, high school scheduling to sign off on, class picking and friend switching and worries and stresses and happiness and freedom. But you’ve been taking it all in stride, trusting my decisions, and not forcing me to go any specific route, which I am so happy for. I just feel so lucky and blessed that I get a parent who will support me, no matter what decisions I do or don’t make.

I just want you to know that no matter what happens– next week or next year or in the next ten years– you’ll always be the person that I look up to, want to talk to, want to share every second of this magical life with. So thank you, a million times over. I love you to the moon and back again.

Kiara

Weekly 4 || PROJECT WEEKLY <3 || 6,851/2150 Words

Opening || 245 Words

It wasn’t every day that Peony visited the market, and thank goodness for that. She would go insane if she was supposed to spend each day going into the deep world of the Fae, of the goods that they sold.

Each good had its own special story, its own special vendor, its own special melody. There were some that were meant to drive a person insane– Peony was always very careful to stay away from those. They were made to draw in, with glistening colors and bright swirling liquids, candies that made the mouth water, scents that made Peony wish she could stay in the market forever.

But that was the allure of the Fae market, the thing that had trapped many before. Peony, through the years, had been careful to avoid getting sucked into the allure and magic of the market, and to avoid being one of those people she passed now, standing entranced by a specific stall, trapped forever in their own minds. Peony came and got what she needed, and then left.

The market was dark, with colorful shawls draped over the cave-like ceiling. The people selling the goods varied in appearance– from gorgeous to ugly, from tall to short, from winged to furred to everything in between. All guises meant to lure a very specific type of person, to entrap a very specific type of soul.

What Peony would find on this particular trip to the market, only time would tell…

Bi-Fi || Struggling to let go || 764/200 Words

The vendor of this particular potion was a tall female, with long light purple hair and bright blue eyes. She stood with the kind of grace that Peony could only wish to achieve. When the woman saw Peony, she beckoned. Peony knew better than to follow the call of any of the vendors here, but she went to her anyway, because there was something aching in her heart that she knew this vendor could fix.

“Hello, dearie.” The woman said, her long purple hair swishing around her shoulders as she swayed slightly on her feet.

“Hello,” Peony responded, brushing her own mousy light brown hair over her shoulder, wishing she weren’t so bland in comparison.

“I see something in your heart,” The woman said, her voice taking on a sort of mystic quality. The frankness in which she said the statement made Peony’s own heart jump, the weight within it pulsing like a living thing.

The woman slid a potion towards Peony, and Peony slid coins back. “Pleasure doing business with you,” Peony said, going to pocket the vial.

“No, dearie. Drink it here,” The woman said, and Peony’s sense of self-preservation rose.

But the pounding in her chest was almost out of control now, the weight of guilt within her strong. So Peony tipped the sparkling purple potion against her lips, swallowing it. It was sweet at first, but then cloying, to the point where Peony nearly choked on the sugars.

Her whole world clouded over, and she watched the horrifying scene play out in front of her own eyes.

“So, you’re the one who gave the crown so much trouble,” The speaker was a soldier, with a black as night uniform and hard slate-colored eyes. He was built sturdily, and Peony watched as he looked down upon Rae. Her best friend. Her lover. Her everything.

Rae just looked right back up at him, a smirk curling over her lips. She was always so brave, Rae was. “I only give trouble to those who deserve it,” She said, her calloused hands reaching for the weapon behind her back. Her double swords– the only thing Peony still had of her.

The guard stepped forward, putting a blade to Rae’s neck, “Admit that it was you who stole the painting, and everything else will go down smoothly. You’ll get to go back to your petty life of stealing and begging.”

Rae stiffened. As much as she tried to be tough, Peony knew the comment had gotten to her. Peony withdrew her own weapon, aiming it at the guards’ back.

“I did nothing of the sort. And I don’t beg, by the way,” Rae said, using her free hand to try to push back her choppy black hair, but the guard stopped her with a heavy hand on her wrist.

Peony drew back her arm, ready to strike.

“Then I have no choice but to bring you back to the palace. Oh, and your little friend can stay, because I’m so nice.”

Rae’s eyes darted to the shadows, catching on Peony with a gasp. “Run!” She shouted, before the guard knocked her out, and she collapsed.

Peony could have thrown her weapon. She could have saved her friend. But she was too in shock, too lovestruck, to throw it. She just watched, her arm frozen, as the guard threw Rae’s beloved twin swords down to the ground, dragging Rae after him.

Peony came back to the present with a gasp.

“You have to let go, honey,” The beautiful woman drawled quietly, “You have no chance of saving your friend if you are burdened by guilt.”

Peony shook her head, refusing to let go of that memory.

“I can take it from you, now that I have access to it. I can provide you with a purpose, if that would be easier. Saving your friend, though you would have no idea why, or what you failed to do in the moment.”

Peony shook her head. She didn’t want her last memory of Rae to be stripped from her, slowly she rolled her shoulders back. She would stay here, gather the potions she needed. Then she would get Rae back. She had to.

Whatever she did or failed to do in the moment, it was passed, it was done. The only thing she could do now was stop her grief from getting in the way of her saving Rae. She had to get Rae back from the palace.

She gave the woman one last small smile and nod, then turned to continue deeper into the market.

Adventure || Appearance switch! || 550/200 Words

The next person that Peony encountered never seemed to have a definite appearance, even in the few seconds that Peony allowed herself to stare. A woman, then a man, long hair, then short, brown, then blonde, then red, then purple hair.

Peony walked up to the person, “Hello,” she said to them, watching as their appearance continued to change, before settling on a person with long blonde hair and dark blue eyes, “May I ask how you’re doing that?”

They laughed, “It’s easy, when you have powers such as I do. I can change your appearance, if you wish,” They said, looking Peony up and down, “You are quite a beauty, but I can see in your heart that something has changed– this appearance no longer befits you in the way it once did.”

Peony was once again startled at how easily the vendors saw into her heart. Ever since meeting the woman, she knew it had been time for a change. Plus, it would be easier if nobody noticed her as she went into the palace to save Rae.

“I do want a change.”

“Wonderful! Then put some pay on the table and we can see what we’re working with!” They chirped, changing appearance once again so they had short cropped blue hair and purple eyes.

Peony slid some of her money to the vendor, and they led her to a small chair in front of a mirror. They took a second inspecting her from all angles, “How drastic of a change do you want, honey?”

“Nothing that changes my face shape or anything– just a little color and length change would be perfect,” Peony said, slightly scared at how much the magic could affect her appearance. She could grow much taller, if she wanted, or shorter, or her jaw shape could change, or her eyes. But she wanted to retain the essence of who she was, and be able to look into the mirror and see herself, just a little different.

“Perfect, honey.”

They spread their hands out in front of Peony, and Peony watched in awe as color enveloped her. She felt a gentle tugging sensation on her scalp, and her eyes burned a little bit, then her skin.

Finally, the sensations resided, leaving Peony with a sort of coolness coating her whole being.

She looked into the mirror and gasped. Her long brown hair had been kept brown, but now it was the smooth brown of almonds, and shorn right above her chin. Her eyes were no longer the muddy green they had been, but a bright clear hazel. Her skin was a little bit darker as well, a deep tan that complemented her hair and eyes. She gasped, looking at herself. It was like she was Peony but… more elegant. And it felt like the person she was on the inside finally matched the person on the outside. And it was a nice feeling.

“Thank you!” Peony gushed, running one hand through her hair. She wouldn’t have to worry about tying it back for a little while, which was a relief.

The vendor smiled, “You’re welcome,” they said, “I see some potential in you yet. Don’t let this world get you down.”

Peony nodded and hopped out of the chair, eager to continue her journey.

Action || Comfort Zone! || 606/200 Words

The next vendor that drew Peony’s eye was a tall man who looked rugged. He wore a thick leather vest and had his hair cut in what Peony assumed looked kind of like a lopsided mohawk. He looked dangerous– the exact opposite of what Peony always went for.

When she approached him cautiously, he gave her a smile, making her realize that his teeth had been whittled to feral points. It made her recoil a bit, mostly in shock, but she proceeded forward anyway.

“Ahaha– always nice to see somebody like you here,” He said, his voice just as rough and ragged as the rest of him, sounding like somebody who smoked a little too much for their own good.

“What do you mean– somebody like me?” Peony asked. In normal circumstances she would play with her hair, but now her hair was much shorter and most certainly not long enough to be played with.

“Fresh, new with the ways of the world.”

Peony thought of her Rae, of the weapon in her hand, of the swords she wore strapped underneath her thick coat. She wouldn’t describe herself as fresh, but she felt more novice than somebody like Rae, who was always on her feet, fearing an attack or something worse.

“You need the Thrill.” He said, passing her a small mirror. It was a magic mirror, Peony knew. The second she looked into it, she would be transported into another world, a sort of dream-world that would feel real in the moment. She knew that she shouldn’t do it, that the things she was doing that day qualified as all the things she had tried to avoid.

But was it really hurting her? She felt more open, more excited, more ready for her future since she arrived at the market a little while ago. If she took this, if she got out of her comfort zone, maybe that would help her.

So she looked into the mirror and felt a rushing sensation of herself falling deep into an ever-moving river of reality.

When she opened her eyes again, she was no longer in the market but a wide-open range. Other people gathered around her, looking just as scared as she was.

Suddenly, the sky cracked open and thousands of creatures fell out. They were tall, winged, and some had fur. She was unsure of what to do, but then remembered Rae’s swords at her side.

She swung, trying to keep her head in this twisting and turning world of reality. She wasn’t sure what to do, but the rush was unlike anything she had ever experienced before. She thought of herself as a strategic person: she thought, Rae accomplished. But with this stretch out of her comfort zone, she actually realized that she enjoyed it. She didn’t enjoy the way that the creatures fell limp with the swing of her blade, but she enjoyed being on her feet, having to move quickly.

When she was finally transported back to the market, she was breathing hard, her forehead coated in sweat that quickly dried, like it had never been there. The man was standing in front of her, his feral teeth stretched in a pointed grin. She slid the money across the table to him, and he laughed, sliding it back, “Seeing the look on your face was money enough. I hope I could be of some help, youngling.”

No matter what she just experienced, this person still gave her an uncomfortable chill. But it was okay, since she had learned something new about herself. Maybe she did have the strength to save Rae after all.

Fantasy || Everyday Object Turned Magical || 668/150 Words

If Peony was going to take on the crown and get Rae back, she would need something other than Rae’s twin swords and her brain to get through.

It was with that thought in mind that she made her first actually planned stop of the day: in front of a young girl with a tall hat with twisting gears on it and large glasses that made her eyes seem ten times bigger.

“Hi!” The girl chirped. She seemed friendly enough, Peony assumed. It was certainly refreshing after the man at the previous stop.

“Um, hello,” Peony said, unsure how to respond to such bright enthusiasm, “I’m here to buy some stuff- weapons, supplies, anything you have that might help me.”

The girl leaned forward, her large eyes very close to Peony’s own, almost uncomfortably so. “And what might this be helping you with?” She asked, curious.

“Well–” Peony trailed off, unsure whether or not to trust this mysterious girl.

“I’m not going to tell anybody, silly. I deal with those much darker than you, and do I look like I go spilling their secrets to the first palace guard that comes around… oops.” The girl giggled, covering her mouth.

“Wait, how do you know I’m going to the palace?” Peony asked, her eyes wide with confusion. How did these people know so much about her without her having to share a thing?

“It’s part of the magic of the place– it helps people know who to call over. The vendors can see a sort of aura around each person who comes here, if they choose to speak to us, we can look deeper and find out their true intentions. I knew yours was to buy some stuff from me to go save your friend from the palace, but that’s all. I don’t know anything about your friend but her name– tell me, is she pretty?”

“Yes, and also taken,” Peony snapped back, kind of at her wits end with this girl.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m getting off track. Here are some of the things you need,” The girl says, pulling out a length of rope, “This can become longer or shorter depending on what it needs– and also it can tie perfect sturdy knots all by itself! All you got to do is throw it at something and it ties! Great for climbing palace walls or whatnot,” She giggled again, and Peony had the faint urge to punch her.

Peony took the rope, sliding some coins over.

“Oh, and this weapon is practically begging to go with you on your journey,” The girl said, and she slid over the most beautiful spear that Peony had ever seen.

It was elegant and golden, with a shaft that was slightly burnished but in a way that made it ever the more appealing. There were small glittering stones hidden, so that when light hit them the right way they sent light sparkling.

The girl clapped twice, and the sparkles receded, making it seem to suck the light around it into it, a practical being of the darkness. “Dark mode.” She said matter-of-factly.

Peony looked at her in confusion.

“Oh, sorry. Wrong universe.” The girl giggled again, before touching the spear and having it shift into a beautiful, still dark bow, “Basically, this will turn into whatever you want it to! Quite useful, for a spear.” She laughed again.

Peony was well over this conversation, and slid money across the table towards the girl, before scooping up the rope and the spear– she used the rope to tie the spear tightly across her back, so it rested kind of like a bow and arrow. She liked how it wasn’t too heavy, and in dark mode as to not draw too much attention to herself.

“I’d love to have you back anytime!” The girl chirped, and Peony just gave her a tense smile and turned away. This was one vendor she would not miss, she thought, as she walked further into the market.

Mystery || Unknown Letters || 332/150 Words

Peony couldn’t find any more vendors that really called to her, but she was just about to turn and head out of the market when she felt a sudden weight in her pocket. She startled, looking around to see if anybody nearby had slipped it into her pocket.

She reached in and found a small envelope. She quickly headed to one of the sides of the market (so she wasn’t standing in full view) and opened it with quick fingers. She read through it, confusion mounting with each and every line.

Peony–
It has come to my attention that one of your friends has been kidnapped by guards of the crown. And it’s crazy, because mine has too! I know, I know, you’re probably one of those people who would scold me for making a joke out of this situation, but what else am I supposed to do– fall into a pit of endless depression? Honestly that seems like the next step.

But something weird is going on at the palace– there have been reports of odd creatures and sounds coming from the palace. I have reason to believe that the king is finally making his move against the peoples, with the hope of full domination. ANd I think that our friends have a part to play in his game. No, not like they’re helping him, our friends would never do that. But I think he’s planning to use them. For what, I have no idea. But I think that the odd creature sightings might have something to do with that.

I know you have no idea who I am, but I sincerely hope we will meet soon. After all, we don’t have long before the king manages to complete his plan and everything we know is doomed forever.

–L
PS: I advise you get out of the market as soon as possible. There are distractions in there we can’t afford to have if we’re going to save our friends.

Journalism || Learning something unexpected || 369/100 Words

Peony tucked the letter tightly into her pocket. She didn’t know who this ‘L’ was, or if he was trouble (he probably was) but she knew that she had no choice but to trust him. As much skill as she uncovered in her time here at the market, she would need help – anybody’s help, she was desperate– to get to Rae. And, if L was to be believed, there was far more at stake than just her Rae’s life. There was possibly a whole conspiracy.

As she went up the stairs of the market and towards the light, she heard one of the messengers cry out: “Attention~ A whole village has just been attacked at the western borders, 20 dead, 40 missing! The palace hasn’t sent out anybody to even investigate what’s going on.”

The whole marketplace went silent for a moment, and then whispers began breaking out as people talked about what this could mean. A piece of unexpected information, it certainly was.

Peony made haste as she exited the building, and who she saw at the top of the stairs made her heart stop, then start again as she went through what could possibly be the most shocking experience of her life.

Leonardo, the crown prince, was standing there in front of her, a smirk pasted on his face.

“Like my letter?” He said, grinning.

Peony startled, jolting back, “Wh- how- that was you?”

He shrugged, magic sparking in his hands, “It was nothing, really.”

“Wait, so did you mean to lure me out here so you could capture me?” Peony asked, unsure.

Leonardo scoffed, “No, not at all. I meant what I said in the letter. My father is up to something sketchy, and I want to stop him just as much as you do. Plus, he has Nazia and I don’t know what he wants with her,” His voice broke a little on that last part.

Peony knew who Nazia was. Leonardo had been betrothed to the foreign princess of Esterbrook for about a year now, and everybody who knew anything knew that it was a marriage of love. And if the king had Nazia… if Esterbrook got word, then it could mean all-out war.

Fan-Fi || Incorporate Music! || 531/150 Words

Peony followed Leonardo into the more bustling part of the city, out of the woods where the marketplace entrance was hidden. Leonardo pulled a hood over his face, probably to conceal his identity. If people got wind of the crown prince walking among them, especially after the news about the town, who knows what might happen.

Sunset was just falling over the city, and a sweet melody came from a band nearby. It made Peony cry a little bit, remembering what happened during this very song, almost a whole year ago.

“Come on, dance with me!” Rae had been freer that night than most, her dark hair pulled back with several sparkling pins, wearing a dark purple dress and tall black gloves, her favorite twin swords in a cross over her back– both dangerous and decorative. Her dark eyes were sparkling, her smile electric in the night air.

Everything seemed both soft and sharp at the same time– equal parts beautiful and dangerous, a lot like Rae herself. The dance was a soft, sweet waltz, but Peony didn’t know if she wanted to join Rae. People might see, people might talk… there were so many conflicting thoughts occurring in Peony’s mind, she forgot to be in the moment.

Well, she forgot until Rae grabbed her hand. “Stop overthinking,” She scolded gently, but her eyes softened. She knew what Peony was dealing with, “You look beautiful, nobody is going to notice anything else.”

Peony ducked her head, a dark blush overtaking her cheeks. “But–”

Rae shook her head, “If you’re still nervous when we start dancing, then you can leave. But you’re not overthinking this, too. Come on!”

Rae pulled Peony into the center of the dancing people, and Peony quickly realized what she had been missing. In the warmth of Rae’s arms, everything made sense. The music was still the same, but the hint of danger was missing. Rae wasn’t just beauty and danger– she was softness and caring and trust, too. She was Peony’s best friend, had been her best friend long before she was anything else.

It was the day when Peony finally admitted to herself that she loved Rae, as more than a best friend. Itw as the day when she realized that it was perfectly okay to love Rae as more than a friend.

Peony hadn’t realized she was crying until she felt Leonardo’s gentle hand on her shoulder, “Are you okay?”

The band was still playing the song, and Peony wished more than ever that Rae would sweep her into her arms, and they could dance and forget all about the death, forget about the past, forget about what may come tomorrow. They could just be.

But Rae wasn’t here, and Peony wasn’t dancing. And the only way she could get Rae back was by keeping her head in the game.

She looked at Leonardo, finality absorbing into her bones, “I have to be, Leonardo,” She answered, her voice a small whisper.

“You don’t, I promise you that you don’t,” Leonardo said back, and there was a moment where they just stared at each other before he said, “And you can call me Leo.”

Illu-Fi || Something unexpected happening || 440/200 Words

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” At first, Peony thought it was Rae shaking her awake, that the sun would be rising, and Rae would be there, and everything would be okay.

But it wasn’t Rae, it was… the crown prince of Relgia?

Well, that was unexpected. How had he gotten into her room anyways?

Last night replayed in front of her eyes, and suddenly it all clicked. The two of them had come back to Peony’s apartment, since it was much closer, and it wasn’t like Leo could go back to the palace. Leo had slept downstairs on the couch, and now he was here, shaking her awake so they could embark on their journey.

Peony looked around her room, searching for the twin swords, rope, and spear, and saw them all sitting on her floor next to her bed. She must have been exhausted after yesterday’s events.

She sat up, stretching her limbs and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She looked over at Leo, who looked like he had already been awake for some time, his hair freshly washed and his face looking alive and alert, probably the exact opposite of hers right now.

She got out of bed, and Leo left the room as she quickly changed into a new outfit, perfect for the day's activity: a sturdy pair of leather pants and a thin vest over her normal white cotton shirt. On a belt at her hips she strapped the twin swords, and then threw the rope over her shoulders so the spear rested at the same place it did yesterday. She then laced up her favorite knee-high boots and went to tie her hair back, before remembering that she had gotten it cut yesterday.

She looked in the mirror, for the first time noticing all the little details that the vendor yesterday had added. Over the bridge of her nose there was a thin dusting of freckles, and her hair was choppy while still looking stylish, and her hazel eyes had small flecks in them that almost looked like burnished gold. She smiled at herself, and was relieved to see that he hadn’t whitened her teeth or straightened them- they were in the same state they had been. It was that small bit of normality that made her shoulders relax and her mind set on the goal at hand.

She opened the door to see Leo lounging against the wall. “I’m ready,” She said, giving him a smile that she hoped looked genuine.

Leo nodded, his expression steely today. What a strange thought, that they were going to storm the castle: the girl and the crown prince.

Fairy Tales || Overestimating their abilities || 426/200 Words

Leo and Peony approached the palace, and Leo threw out his arm, drawing Peony to a stop. “Wait a second, we should go around the back way.”

Peony huffed, “You couldn’t have thought of that before? It seems quite obvious we wouldn’t want to knock down their front door.”

“It’s just habit, I’m sorry,” Leo seemed genuinely sorry, so Peony begrudgingly forgave him. She didn’t say anything of the sort out loud, though.

They approached the side of the castle, and Peony looked at the tall wall. “I can climb that.”

Leo looked at her skeptically. “Are you sure? It’s quite tall. Taller than it looks from down here, and it’s super smooth.”

Peony turned her spear into a small throwing star and tucked it into her vest pocket, then grabbed the rope. “I have this baby,” She said, smiling. She threw it, and it knotted in one of the upper windows, that was dark, thank goodness.

She climbed up, each step making her arms ache even more. Her legs were trembling, and she was sweating. But she could do it. She knew she could…

Her hand slipped, and she tumbled down. Luckily, Leo was there to catch her, but she was bruised. “Well, looks like climbing is out.” She said sadly, drawing the rope back to her hand.

Suddenly, a light flicked on through one of the windows and Leo and Peony dived underneath a small overhang, pressing their backs to the cold stone. Breathing hard, they looked at each other. Had they been caught?

“Leo, I know that’s you.”

Leo let out a breath of relief, and then walked back into the thin stream of light. Peony joined him, and she saw a beautiful girl looking out from one of the windows. She had long black hair and bright purple eyes, and she looked at Leo with a sort of relief in her eyes, but more like she didn’t know if she was going to live another day, and seeing Leo eased some of that worry. She looked at Leo like he was the sun, and she was the moon.

Peony remembered looking at Rae like that.

“There should be a hidden staircase along that wall somewhere– it leads to the hallway where they are keeping me and some of the other prisoners.

Some of the other prisoners. Rae has to be in that hallway.

Leo looked at Peony, realizing the same thing. If they could find that staircase, they could rescue Nazia and Rae, and hopefully stop the king once and for all.

Dystopian || Perfect turned into something bad || 345/100 Words

Leo finally found the staircase, pressing a certain stone into the wall made the whole thing creak, and a door slowly crank open. It was dark, with a long passageway leading into who-knows-where. Peony and Leo looked at each other in confusion, unsure whether or not to trust this staircase. There could be guards at the end of the staircase– but they had to take that chance. Peony’s aching hip showed that they couldn’t rely on the rope to climb the tower, so they would have to use this staircase.

They climbed up and up and up, Peony’s eyes straining to make sense of even the next step in the darkness. When they finally reached the top, Leo peered out, checking for guards. He pointed them out, a few resting at the end of the hallway. They slipped out of the stairs, then walked towards the door. Then Peony heard a familiar voice, and it made her pause.

“Are you sure that the prince would have found your friend– what’s her name again?”

“Yes. I am sure.”

Rae. It was Rae! But who was she talking to?

Peony looked towards Leo, but he was already making his way towards the guards. After a quick struggle, the guards were knocked out on the floor, tied together with a piece of cloth, and Leo had the keys.

The door Peony was standing by banged open, and she pressed herself against the wall as the door opened in front of her, stopping inches short of crushing her altogether.

“What do you think you’re doing, princeling?”

It was Rae. Peony gasped.

“Who are you?” Leo snapped back, looking around for Peony. He finally caught her eye, and she pressed a finger to her lips, telling him to not give away his position.

“Your worst nightmare,” Rae said, a dangerous smirk curling over her lips with the cliched joke.

Behind Rae, Peony spotted a familiar figure, but not familiar in the way that she’d ever seen them in person before.

It was the king. And was Rae… working with him?

Sci-Fi || New technology || 491/150 Words

Peony sprinted out from behind the door, whirling towards Rae. “What do you think you’re doing?” She asked, her voice a nervous rush.

Rae paused, uncertainty flaring in her eyes. “You aren’t supposed to be here!” She said, looking around as if trying to find a way for Peony to escape.

“What do you mean I’m not supposed to be here? I came to save you… before you started working with him!” Peony gestured wildly to the king.

Rae shook her head, “It’s not what it looks like, I promise!”

Behind her, a feral smile spread over the kings’ mouth, as if he was watching a game of chess or something similar.

That’s when Peony noticed something the king held in his hand. A small button, glowing bright blue. She instantly knew what was going on. It was the thing that was creating the monsters, the monsters that were terrorizing the kingdom. And if she could somehow destroy it…

She saw Leo notice it at the same time she did, and both of them lunged towards the king. Rae stepped forward: “NO!” She cried, but Peony didn’t pay any attention to her, her sole focus on the button.

The king noticed what they were doing as Peony and Leo piled on top of him, wrestling for the button. It finally escaped his grip, and Rae grabbed it. She pointed it at Leo and pressed it.

“STOP!” Peony lunged towards Leo, trying to stop Rae from doing anything to her new friend.

But Rae didn’t stop. A bright light zapped from the machine, and it hit Leo. Instantly, he was on the ground, writhing in pain.

Peony lunged towards the king, grabbing her spear and pressing it against him. “What do we do? How do we reverse it?” She demanded, her voice shaking as she heard Leo’s cries behind her.

“I have an antidote.” The king said, wheezing, “But its hidden behind the most guards, in the west tower. If you can get to it, then I guess you deserve to have it.”

Peony knocked the king out with a quick movement, before turning to Rae. “What were you thinking?”

“The king told me that if I stopped Leonardo, he would save you. He promised.” She collapsed to the ground, tears covering her face and spilling onto the floor.

Her Rae, showing weakness. This wasn’t something that happened often, and it tore at Peony’s heart.

“Come on. We don’t have time to waste.”

Peony grabbed the keys from Leo’s now stiff hand, unsure how long it would be before the transformation took place.

She opened Nazia’s door, and Nazia gasped when she saw the prince on the ground.

“I know. But we have to stop it.” Peony said to Nazia, and Nazia nodded. Peony, on a whim, threw Leo into the room and locked it behind him, hoping that the door would be enough to stop him from escaping as a monster.

Myth || Working together with others! || 259/150 Words

They rushed through the palace towards where the king had said the antidote lay. Nazia and Rae were behind her, and she heard Rae struggling with some of the guards, before catching up with her. Nazia was wearing an ornate dress, and it was slowing her down.

Pulling Nazia into a small corner, Peony grabbed her spear and turned it into a small kn1fe, slicing into Nazia’s dress. “Better?” She asked.

Nazia nodded, relief shining in her eyes.

They finally reached the tower, and they spread apart, fighting the guards in tandem. But there were so many of them. Suddenly, Peony remembered her rope. She looked over at Nazia and Rae, both fighting their own enemies.

“Get close to me!” She shouted, and they quickly nodded and formed a small circle around her. Peony grabbed the rope and threw, and it encircled all the guards and drew them to the ground, where Rae managed to make quick work of them.

They grinned, happy at their teamwork.

The three girls quickly went up the stairs, before coming to a laboratory. There were so many vials, which one could it be…

“Here!” Nazia called, hefting a big vial next to her head. It was filled with a bubbling pink liquid, and Peony remembered the place she had been in just a few days before, in the market.

Now all they had to do was get this vial to Leo, and then spread it to the rest of the monsters, turning them back into people. Then they could deal with the king.

Thriller || Dangerous scenario || 582/200 Words

Carefully, Peony slid the key into the lock. Then she jumped back as a roaring beast came out. “WATCH OUT!” She yelled to Rae and Nazia behind her.

Nazia looked at Leo-the-beast in horror. “Leo, it’s alright.”

But the beast had lost what remained of Leo, and its sole goal was to eradicate the three of them. What they had to do was somehow get it to drink the antidote, and before any of them got hurt. Rae already was a little cut, her skirmishes with the guards were showing. Peony’s hip still hurt from where she fell off of the side of the palace, and Nazia was limping a little from their climb up the stairs.

“Leo–” Peony opened the antidote, knowing she would have to rely on Rae and Nazia to protect her, since she couldn’t spill a drop. She was helpless, and the giant beast in front of her was ready to pounce.

She had one chance. One chance, or there was no way that anybody was getting out of this palace alive. Some edits had been made to the button the king was using, it seemed, and Leo looked larger and more dangerous than any of the other monsters the kingdom had reported seeing.

So as Leo pounced, Peony jumped upward and onto his back. She landed hard, with a few precious drops of the antidote tipping over the side. She grabbed the beasts’ muzzle, and as he snapped up at her she poured some of the antidote in. Hopefully enough to cure him.

The beast kept on struggling for a few seconds, before slowly collapsing, like a marionette with its strings cut. Peony jumped off, quickly capping the antidote, watching as the beast convulsed on the floor, before slowly turning back into Leo. She gasped in relief, and Nazia ran to him, sitting on the floor and grabbing his hand.

Tears ran down Nazia’s face, as she gripped his hand. Leo looked up and saw her and breathed a sigh of relief. “I didn’t hurt anybody– did I?”

“Nothing that can’t be repaired quickly,” Nazia responded, and the two of them hugged.

Rae pulled Peony aside, and Peony looked up at the face she had once thought was invincible. But now she knew that she was just as strong as Rae, just as brave. Her trip had proved that.

“I’m sorry,” Rae said, before breaking down and crying again. Peony held her, letting Rae cry all her tears out.

“I forgive you. I know you were just trying to do what was best,” Peony responded softly, burying her head in Rae’s shoulder, breathing hard. Because when it mattered, Rae had been there for her.

Rae pulled back, looking at Peony, “You look different,” she said, running a hand through Peony’s short hair.

Peony shrugged. “I thought it was time for a change,” She said, remembering what had only been a little while ago, getting trimmed by the person at the marketplace. It seemed so long ago, so much had happened since then.

“I like it,” Rae said, smiling a little.

Everything seemed right in the world. Her love was back, the kingdom was safe…

The king groaned from where he had been knocked out.

Leo quickly summoned some guards, and they dragged the king down to the dungeons.

“How do we get rid of the rest of the monsters?” Peony asked.

“Well, I’m sure we can find a weather mage in the market somewhere,” Rae said, grinning.

Closing || Description || 243 Words

The rain fell down, coating the kingdom in a soft pink haze. The antidote had been mixed in with the rain, courtesy of a powerful weather mage they had found at the fae marketplace.

Rae stood next to Peony, their shoulders brushing, and just Rae’s mere presence put Peony at ease.

Leo and Nazia stood not too far away, Leo sporting his new crown. He had been crowned king of Reglia in his fathers’ imprisonment, and his father was going to undergo questioning about how he had made the device to turn people into monsters. But Leo had taken being king surprisingly well, and the people already loved him for saving the kingdom. It was an easy transition, as far as those transitions went.

And Rae and Peony had been hired as members of the royal guard– and for once Peony wasn’t overly cautious or worried. She knew she had the skills, and that she deserved this. It was a welcome change from the meek, scared girl she had been not too long ago.

“You did it, Peony,” Rae said softly, looking up at the gently raining clouds.

“I guess I did,” Peony said, smiling.

She had her friends, her love, a whole kingdom and life laid out in front of her.

And when she looked into the horizon, she thought she could catch a glimpse of the few vendors that had sold her stuff at the market, nodding their approval as well.

March 27th || Pangram Daily! Two lonely children roamed the post-apocalyptic city, exploring abandoned facilities, venturing to quaint little structures that amazingly still stood standing despite the dark days and chaos they'd been through, and encountering other survivors on their journey. By Luna || 414/400 Words

AJ and Kelia walked slowly into the city, their eyes roaming the rubble. AJ turned to Kelia, and her eyes said what her words could not– the sheer amount of devastation that this whole city had gone through. She was shocked at what had occurred while they were hiding in their bunker.

Neither girl knew what waited in the city– what was left… who was left. The survivor count was uncounted, to say it simply, because there was nobody left to do any sort of count. Those who did survive were probably just coming out of hiding as well, after the nuclear radars had said the levels were safe enough to emerge from the bunkers where many had managed to escape to before the disaster.

AJ and Kelia were sisters, and their parents, fearing disaster, had gotten them into one of the bunkers and sealed the doors. When the disaster struck, they had heard the terrible noises. People crying out, banging on the bunker doors, begging to be let in. But both girls remembered clearly what their parents had said.

“Don’t open the doors– no matter what you may hear. It’s the only way you’re going to survive.”

So they stood there, huddled, as the entire city revolted around them, screaming and crying and falling down.

Now, there was hardly anything left but dust, and a few smaller buildings that had somehow survived the disaster.

Suddenly, there was a noise behind them, and Kelia whipped around. A small boy, about their age, emerged from a building, food in his hands.

“Hi.” He said softly. Kelia and AJ looked at each other, unsure whether or not they should trust him. But they then decided that they had to– he had food. That was one thing they hadn’t thought about yet– and one of the reasons they had emerged out of their bunker. They had run out of food.

“Hello,” Kelia said, every instinct she had honed over her small twelve years of life telling her to run away.

But she didn’t. And that was a big thing, at least to her it was.

AJ, always the more friendly of the two, was the one to speak, “You have food?”

The boy looked pointedly down at his arms, then back up at the two of them. “Duh,” He responded, making even Kelia crack a small smile.

“Then you’re with us. Let’s go explore this city,” AJ said, a note of finality in her voice.

Hi Vi (and Crim <3) thanks for letting me read your piece! Just a quick disclaimer that these are just my thoughts, feel free to keep what works and toss out what doesn't! That said, lets get into a quick critique <3

The other part, instincts too well trained to fear water, longed to flee.

This line is a bit confusing to me for some reason– why is he longing to flee if he doesn't fear water? Maybe it's just something that I read oddly, but the flow of this sentence doesn't quite make sense to me ahaha

Cole had seen weirder things, sure. He’d fought and beaten weirder monsters,

I feel like ‘weirder’ doesn't really fit with how the rest of the piece is worded? But that might just be me ahaha

Okay so there was very very little to critique here sldkjf– this piece is so incredible! Like I read through it multiple times to find something to pick apart but couldn't find anything ahaha. You both did such an amazing job here, and everything reads smoothly and clearly, and never am I grappling for context or trying to figure out what is going on in the scene.

There are only two notes I have: the first one (and this is just a suggestion!) is to clarify a little bit what exactly the water will do to him– will it send him on from his ghostly life? Something else? But don't feel pressured in any way to include it– this story is wonderful as is!

And the second note: I'd love to see what would happen if you played around with things being italicized (especially flashbacks/things that happened in the past) to make it really clear to the reader what is happening in what time frame.

I'm so sorry I couldn't find more things to comment on lksdfj but best of luck in the writing competition– I loved reading this!

Intro–
Well hello there everybody! Chances are you’re receiving this about *checks calendar* April 6th, once I’m back from my cruise. Currently I’m sitting on the deck of said cruise– it’s so warm here which is nice– and struggling to type with my acrylics XD. But mostly, I’m wondering about you all. What you’re up to, who is currently topping the leaderboard (and if it's Fantasy ;D) and what chaos y’all have been up to. This session has meant so much to me, and sometimes I just stare at my computer screen, utterly shocked that I get to be a member of such a kind, wonderful, chaotic, silly community. Like seriously, all of you guys are so cool, and I feel so lucky every single day that I discovered SWC. No matter what role you play in this camp, or what role this camp may play in your future, I just want you to know that you are so incredibly wonderful and loved, and I will be cheering you on every step of the way, whatever those steps may be <3

SWC–
I kind of already covered it above but here it is again! This is my huge thank-you-note to SWC as a whole– the community, the experience, everything. I’ve been involved in this community for two years, and they are two years I wouldn’t trade for the world. Between laughing at something somebody posted in the main cabin to grinding words for cabin wars, SWC has taught me so so much and I feel like –no, I know– that I’ve become a better person through all of my experiences here. The hosties, who pull everything together, the wonderful co/leader teams, and the campers, who bring life to the camp. Whether this be your first session of SWC or your tenth, I just want you guys to know that you have played such a huge role in shaping this camp into what it is right now, at this moment. Thank you guys, thank you for everything <3

Hosties–
AAA YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL <333 Like everything about this session has been so amazing, and I am constantly in awe of the ability you have to bring a brand new, chaotic light to each and every individual session, making each one a magical experience. The graphic designing, the planning, everything! Thank you guys for keeping this camp alive, I don’t know what we would do without you (actually, I do know– we would fall apart /lh– so thank you) <333

Polar Bears–
Y’all are awesome omg :polar-bear_struck: Like, the idea of the project weekly, the final result, the concepts of each of the individual weeklies and the thought put into the dailies… I know there is so much more behind the scenes then I could ever even imagine, and I am so thankful for everything you guys do <3

Fantasy–
EEEE HI EVERYBODY <333 No words can express how grateful and thankful I am for each and every single one of you. Like– before this session, this cabin was just something that existed in the furthest reaches of my imagination. Then you all came in, enthusiastic and ready to complete storyline challenges, laugh alongside us, have fun… like literally I couldn’t have dreamed of better campers for my dream cabin. *struggles for words* I just… I am so so so thankful that y’all decided to depart down the yellow brick road with us this session, and I really hope to see you guys around in the future <3 Of course, please feel free to drop by my profile at any point in the future, I would love to talk to you guys! Thank you, thank you, thank you <333

Silvi–
Hi!! You have been such a friendly face throughout this session– always ready and willing to pop into Fantasy with a piece of encouragement or chaos ;D I loved having you in my WCG this session, and hope to see you around in the future hehe <333

Herm–
It has been so great to have you in Fantasy this session! While I didn't get to know you as well as I would have liked to, your positivity and kindness has been so appreciated! You seem like such a wonderful person, and I hope to see you around!

Arrow–
You have been such a light in Fantasy this session– you are always around to hang out or participate in storyline challenges! Thank you so much for heading down the yellow brick road with us this session, and I hope to see you around in future sessions!

Lyra–
I’ve loved having you around in my WCG this session, you bring such laughter and chaos to the cabin every single day! From meeting you in Joker this past January to now, I have loved getting to know you, and hope that I can continue to see you around in future sessions <33

Kleemiya–
Having you in my WCG this session has been wonderful– it’s so hard to tell that this is your first session, it already feels like you’ve been around for ages <33 Both your dedication during cabin wars and your kindness and positivity every other day has left me in awe, thank you for being in Fantasy this session and I hope to see you around!

Waterfall–
It has been so wonderful to have you in Fantasy this session– from your cabin wars contribution to your willingness to complete cabin challenges… I have loved having you both in Fantasy and in my WCG! Thank you so much for everything, and I hope to see you around in the future <33

Mildred–
AAAA MILDRED <3333 Every single day, I have been so so grateful you accepted my offer to co-lead Fantasy. From your art skills (the Fantasy pfps are GORGEOUS and I will treasure mine forever) to your willingness to step in while me and River were away, you contributed so much to Fantasy this session, and I can’t imagine what we would do without you. You are so incredibly kind and funny, and you have such great ideas to bring to the table! Thank you so much for everything– I can’t wait to see where you go next and will be cheering you on every step of the way <3333

River–
RIVERRR <3333 I am so incredibly grateful you accepted my offer to co-lead Fantasy– I couldn’t imagine what it would be without you <3 Like I actually squealed in excitement when I saw you had accepted– you are such a wonderful and cool person and I’ve absolutely loved the chance to get to know you over the course of this session! You remembered things about the Wicked universe that I had forgotten, and you brought so many incredible ideas to Fantasy that still leave me in shock sometimes <3 I hope that as sessions continue we can continue to be friends– thank you so much for everything <33

Mousey–
HIIII MOUSEY <33 I know we haven't gotten to talk as much this session (grr busy lives) but you are just such an amazing person and such a good friend and I’ve treasured the few days we did get to talk! I love all the time we spend procrastinating talking and working on various projects together <3 And Illu-Fi? Absolutely jaw-dropping– the thumb, the concept… eeeee it’s amazing and still leaves me in shock!!! Thank you for being my friend, and here's to many sessions together to come <333

Closing–
As I write this, my heart just feels so full of love for each and every one of you. I know I already said it, but I will continue to say it until the end of time– this camp is such a special experience, and I know I will be sticking around for the foreseeable future ;D Thank you guys for everything, and I hope to see you around!

Love,
Kiara <3

Hello hello! I’m so excited to critique your app, Liv <3 (First critique of the app season yippie!) Just an early disclaimer that this is your app and only my thoughts, feel free to keep what works and throw out what doesn’t <3 Also I am very very particular with how I like sentence flow and structure, and with word choice, so if I comment something about it chances are I am just being particular ahaha <3 — I also started this critique a few days ago, and it seems you’ve edited it since then, so if I caught something that you changed— apologies <3

With that said, let’s get into it!

Hello my fellow beans, I’m Liv, a chaotic, sheep-obsessed bean.

To me, the use of ‘bean’ doesn’t seem to be necessary— it adds some comical value the first time, but the second time it starts to become repetitive. I’d recommend cutting it out the second time <3

I identify as a sheep and India, please refer to me as such.

Okay so I did a first today and actually read through your whole app before going back to do a critique slkdfj— but I’m just going to comment that the first time I read through this I was super confused with what this meant, and it isn’t answered until the end of this answer, and honestly the way it’s answered is sort of confusing to. I get that you want to show your personality and humor, but there are ways to do that without being repetitive or confusing! Of course, if you want to keep it in then I recommend either moving those two paragraphs at the beginning or rephrasing this sentence to be more obviously joking

I love sheep, hiking (and camping), reading, listening to music, writing (never would’ve guessed hehe), sheep, sewing, photography, history, sociology and sheep!

Just a small suggestion, add “(and could you guess…)” before the last sheep— it adds to the humor value and shows that it’s purposefully meant to be funny <3

Creating or feeling as though I can express myself through music is an amazing feeling, it gives me another way to share my feelings and emotions with everyone in ways aside from writing.

You used the word ‘feeling’ or some variation of it like at least three times during this paragraph— I’d suggest finding a synonym or something for it!

About Me Overall Notes
This section is really great! I feel like I’ve gotten to know you better throughout this answer, and that’s the goal with about mes! The only thing I’d really mention is that it can get a little repetitive in places, and the sheep sections could be condensed into a couple of sections (don’t get me wrong, I love sheep so much <33) but I feel like if it was condensed into shorter, more tightly packed with information paragraphs then you could get a lot more impact!

So my sessions in chronological order

So this is just personal preference, but I feel like bullet-pointing your first three sessions and then elaborating more is kind of confusing, I’d recommend either making a short, worded list for the first three (Ex: “For July ‘23, I campered in Hi-Fi, in November ‘23, I campered in Dystopian, and in July ‘24 I campered in Mystery.”) for those and then you can add your descriptions of your co-leading sections! Either that or make a full bullet-pointed list and then elaborate below <3 Either way works, but personally (and you totally don’t have to follow this it’s just my opinion ahaha) I’d pick one or the other and go all in <3

Experience Overall Notes
Yaay this is great <3 Not many notes— you do a good job of listing everything in a nice and concise way! Also you have so much experience wooaaaah <333

idea’s

Small grammar note, but you don’t need the apostrophe there, what it actually reads as right now is a possessive as in “belonging to idea” but you just want “multiple of an idea” which wouldn’t need an apostrophe <3

ALSO YOUR IDEA IS SO COOL MAY I LOAN YOU PART OF FANTASY WE NEVER GOT TO /hj

Cabin Preferences Overall Notes
*chefs kiss* perfect no other notes <3

aside from two Tuesdays, where I will have Rangers and my activity will be choppy.

Note which Tuesdays they are! And instead of ‘choppy’ perhaps put “off and on”?

Time Dedication Overall Notes
The only thing I’d touch on is that some of these sentences are a bit lengthy and hard to read, I’d recommend condensing them (especially like your sentences about school holidays and school weeks) <3

Some of the things I believe I need to improve

Again, just personal preference, but I like it when people start with their strengths! I feel like starting with strengths allows people to see the positive before jumping right into the negative.

They say to throw yourself at everything that comes your way, but taking the time to ask myself if I can commit to this, if I can do everything they ask with my current abilities, if I’m going to hurt myself attempting this, has stopped me from making rash decisions before and greatly helped me.

It seems that you’ve already thought about this quite a bit, yet it’s still listed in your weaknesses. If this isn’t something you struggle with anymore, then why is it included in your weaknesses? This is just some food for thought— weaknesses are things that you still consistently struggle with, and things that can stop your time management skills. That said, I’d take some time to 1. Clear up this sentence because it is quite a few words ;D 2. Think about how to tie this into time management, and 3. think about whether this is something that you are not perfect at and working to improve (and if it is, then add that to the end of this sentence, like “while this is something I don’t do all the time, I’m starting to do it more” or perhaps pick another weakness that you struggle with more? Again, just my thoughts <3

My strengths with time management are my understanding of schedules

A better way to phrase this might be “prioritization” or “my ability to prioritize” (forgive my spelling sldkfj)

respect my limits by taking a minute

This could be phrased to be more clear— perhaps “knowing when I need a break” or “being able to step away from a project” or “not obsessing endlessly over a project” or something else along those lines <3 Also, this seems to directly conflict with your weakness of biting off more than you can chew? Or maybe that’s just the way I’m reading it— but it seems to me you said that you often take on more responsibilities than you can handle, yet you also know when you have had enough? I’d think through the phrasing a little bit, but ofc that might just be me <3

Time Management Overall Notes
This section is one of the most important sections of the entire application, imo. If a leader is looking for a co, this is the section that they (at least, I know I) look at to see how each individual might benefit a team, and what gaps need to be filled by the other team members. For me, this is also a section I look at if I’m getting co offers from other people, to see what sort of team we might create together, and if their strengths and weaknesses is something that I can work with! But that said, I feel like your answer is very very solid and with a few edits could be amazing! Great job <3

One of the big things I struggle

Again, just personal preference, but perhaps consider starting with your strengths? And maybe add a little bit of an introductory paragraph as well— it is quite startling to come right off of the time management and jump into collaboration with no intro <3

even though it triggers my anxiety more

I’d rephrase this at the end as “even though at times it can make my anxiety worse, it helps in the long run” or something along those lines, so it comes off as something that actually helps your weakness, instead of making it a little worse <33

Collaboration and Assets Overall Notes
I love this section! It is the perfect amounts personal, insightful, and smooth-sounding, there was nothing in here where I was wondering or guessign at what you were trying to say, and no places that were excessively wordy. The only thing I’d say is since you double space some paragraphs, double space them all! It makes things clearer <3

connections

Maybe it would read a little better if you put “connection,” singular? It would then show that the actual act of connecting is important to you— which might work a little better for the question and response <3

you should have rich and powerful people in your pocket’ and maybe you should, maybe Thriller last session is rubbing off on me.
But that’s not what I mean.

From knowing you as a person and the repeating theme of connection and connecting in your app, I know that’s not what you mean <3 But if you want to pass that off as a humorous bit, go ahead! Otherwise, I’d just define exactly what you mean by connection. Something like “I value the ability to talk to people and form a meaningful bond” or something along those lines, and then continue <3

One Quality Overall Notes
Aaa your answer for this is so good omg Liv <3333 The only thing I’d say is that the question for the One Quality answer changed a little bit last session, from “what quality do you value most” to “what quality do you embody,” but if you change the wording around a little bit then it should be perfect. That said, I have no idea what the hosties are doing in terms of questions for this session– but just keep that in mind!

Cabin Atmosphere Overall Notes
Looks great <3

Checkboxes Overall Notes
Also, great <33

Final Notes
I am so, so impressed with your app, Liv. The way you tackle these harder questions with a level of honesty and maturity is wonderful, and I am just (screams internally for words) blown away by everything you’ve written. That said, I hope that some of my critique here is helpful in bringing your app to the absolute NEXT LEVEL because it fs can (and will!) get there <33 Thank you for sharing this with me, and I can’t wait to see your app— I will be cheering you on every step of the way!!!!!!

Hi Sunny! So excited to critique your app <3 I don’t believe I’ve critiqued anything of yours before (?) So let me do my usual little blurb about this critique! It is your writing and only my thoughts— and honestly a lot of my critiques are just matter of personal preference. So take what you like or what you think works, and feel free to completely ignore and disregard the rest ;D And I am super particular about word choice and sentence flow/readability, so if I end up critiquing on that, just know that I am being very nitpicky and oftentimes don’t make a whole lot of cohesive sense bahaha.

Now, let’s get into your app!

I actually read through your whole app before going back to start this critique and let me just put at the beginning that I am super impressed! Ofc there are a few things I’m going to touch on here, but you should be very proud of what you’ve written <33

About Me Overall Notes
This section is great! I actually haven’t seen anybody talk directly about their personality before in an app (at least, not that I can remember— I spent so long looking over so many apps last session that it could have slipped my mind) and I think it adds another layer of depth and complexity to it! The only thing I’d say is that it sometimes comes across as very direct, and then shifts dramatically when you start talking about your hobbies, which I find is a bit jarring and inconsistent. Like you use of exclamation marks, emojis, and other more informal markings goes up once you start talking about your hobbies. Maybe consider evening out the spread of these things so that it reads a bit more consistently!

Illu-Fi Spider Verse (march ‘24)

Just a very small note but that would be March ‘25 <3

Previous Participation Overall Notes
Great! I love the way that you tackled talking about all of your leadership experience— it flowed so smoothly. The one thing that I would note is perhaps consider adding (even if its just in passing) what your irl leadership positions taught you about being a good leader! That can overall strengthen your experience and prove that you would make a wonderful co-leader.

Cabin Preferences Overall Notes
The only thing I’d really say is adding another press of the ‘enter’ key between those two paragraphs to keep formatting consistent, but otherwise looks good!

On the whole, I expect to be able to delicate at least 9 hours a week for cabin-planning

The only thing I’d say is that it might be better (in some cases) to show a per-day dedication, just to show more balance, especially because it is always nice to know an average of how active you’ll be per day, since a lot of cabin planning progress can be made in a week.

Time Dedication Overall Notes
I love the way you bolded the important information, it makes it much much easier to see the direct information that somebody will be looking for when they view your app!

Time Management Overall Notes
Okay so I have a few notes on this answer! This is one of the most important answers in the entire application— and I feel like while there is definitely a good start there, there is a lot that can be added! For example, I’d love to hear a strength or two in time management. Even if it isn’t something you are the best at, if there is something you’re better at, then I’d love to hear that. It helps leaders get a clearer sense of how to balance their team. But with that said, your answer for your weaknesses is well thought out and reads very well, so yay for that!!

My main weakness in collaboration used to be the lack of communication, but I am confident when I say that I have improved a lot in this field. In the past, I used to be shy and reluctant to share my opinions and ideas with others. Similarly, when something went off track, I did my best to hide it from others and fix the problem myself. This often led to extremely stressful and awkward situations.

My question is this: if this isn’t something you struggle with at all anymore (at least that’s how it seems from the wording) why is it listed in your weaknesses? I’d pick something you actively struggle with, or at least amend the wording to show how these things may still affect you sometimes, if they do affect you now.

Collaboration and Assets Overall Notes
Great job! I love how you used irl examples to back up your strength. I’d also love if you could include some of your assets that you bring to the team, as that’s part of the question <33

One Quality Overall Notes
If I were to say anything about this answer, it would just be to provide more examples! Think about how you embody this trait in your everyday life, or how struggles and overall success in this trait has helped you become the leader you are today. Other than that, this answer is super solid <33

Cabin Atmosphere & Checkboxes
Look good <3

Final Thoughts
Everything in this app is wonderful! I didn't critique a single thing of word choice if I am remembering correctly :eyes: that's a first hehe. All your answers are so solid and clear– I'm never left guessing what you mean by a certain phrase or word choice. Of course, if I had one big note for this entire app, I'd most likely say “more.” Not more as in more words, necessarily, but I'd love some more depth in some of the answers, specifically your One Quality, Time Management, and Collaboration answers. I feel like this answers could be made stronger if you somehow relate them to yourself and your personal life, therefore also increasing the connection between the reader to you. This is, however, just a suggestion, and I understand that it would take quite a bit of effort to revise for all of this <3 That said, it is 100% up to you if you want to incorporate this or not, but I think it could really increase the quality and relatability of your answers!

But I'm so so impressed with this– especially since this is your first app! If you do end up making some edits, just feel free to send the link to me directly, I'd for sure be willing to make time to take a second look at this, as well as for any apps you might make in the future <33 Thank you for letting me read this, and I wish you the best of luck!

Kiara's July 2025 Application (draft)
3,030 Words

01- About Me

Hello! I’m Kiara (she/her), a teen writer who currently resides in the EST/EDT timezone. When I'm not procrastinating on my novel (or occasionally making progress on it), you can usually find me at rehearsals, listening to music, or adding to my bucket list.

If you’ve talked to me or seen me around SWC, you probably know that I love theater. If you haven’t, then an early disclaimer: I love theater! I’ve been in seven theater productions over the past six years, most recently starring in my middle school’s production of The Addams Family as Morticia! Of course, the performing is only one part of what makes theater special to me. The other part is the people. Every cast has its own unique dynamic, which means that even if you do the same show with a different cast, it would be completely different. I love being able to meet new and talented people, and am so grateful for theater giving me the opportunity to connect with them.

Another thing that I love is travel. From Puerto Rico to Japan, I feel like I’ve already seen so much in my lifetime, and I’m so incredibly grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given to travel. My dream is to travel the globe, and be able to say I’ve been to all seven continents! The thing I love most about travel, though, is getting to experience firsthand all the unique cultural differences that make a place come to life. From the bustling streets of New York to the gleaming subway stations of Tokyo, you can experience so many aspects of a place simply by being there.

Of course, we can't have an ‘about me’ section without mentioning reading and writing. I've always loved storytelling in all its forms, whether it's acting, writing, or reading stories written by others – it all seems magical to me. I love reading because no matter where you are – on the bus heading to school, on an airplane, or even just at home, you can visit another life or see out of another person's eyes. I love so many books– from rom-coms to high fantasy, but I’d have to say my favorite book of all time is The Illuminae Files by Amie Kaufman! Amie Kaufman is such a wonderful author in general, all of her books are so wonderful, but especially The Illuminae Files! It is a sci-fi epistolary novel that, at its heart, this is a book about humanity and what it means to be human, which is a topic I think is handled in a really engaging and thought-provoking way, and has me coming back to re-read it time and time again.

As for writing: I discovered my love for writing in the first grade, when we made little comic strips for class. Since then, I’ve written numerous words about worlds set in the furthest reaches of space to even my own hometown. I love being able to translate stories in my head into a format where others can read and absorb them, much like I’ve done for my own favorite stories!

Finally, SWC. From the chaos of cabin wars to the everyday chit-chat and laughter, SWC is a place where writers of every age and walk of life can come together. SWC has already played such a pivotal role in my life, and I hope it has a role in my future as well <33

02– Experience

Currently, I’ve participated in 8 sessions of writing camps, 6 of them being SWC. I’ve camped four times, led twice, co-led twice, been a member of the daily team three times, been a member of the memory book committee once, and been a writing competition judge for JWC twice.

Here is a list of my experience in SWC:
March 2023 | Adventure | Camper
November 2023 | Fantasy | Camper
March 2024 | Fairy Tales | Camper
July 2024 | Thriller | Co-Leader | Polar Bear Cub
November 2024 | Paranormal | Co-Leader | Polar Bear Cub, MBC member
March 2025 | Fantasy | Leader | Polar Bear Cub

My first session as a co-leader in Thriller, taught me about balancing my life and SWC. During those months I was far busier than I thought I would be, but yet still tried to find time to pour into SWC. It ended up not being the best for my mental health, and midway through July, I crashed, disappearing from Scratch for a few days. I was able to take a step away to clear my head, though, and returned a couple of days later with a more balanced outlook. That experience was actually very helpful to me in the long run, as it taught me how to notice when my workload was getting too heavy, and has made co/leading so much more enjoyable these past few sessions! Inky and Gabbie also taught me so much about leading and what it means to build a cabin from the ground up, and I’m so thankful for everything I learned that session.

Paranormal, my second session as a co-leader, taught me about working through problems and finding creative solutions. We had a really epic plan about how to pull off our cabin, complete with realm changes and daily challenges, but it fell through during session. However, we were able to pull together and while we didn’t complete everything that we had originally planned, we still ended up having so much fun! It taught me so much about coming up with engaging ideas on short notice, as well as the fact that you don’t need to follow a strict plan to have a successful cabin! I will forever treasure my experience with Mouse and Fini <3

Finally, my most recent session as a leader in Fantasy, taught me how to have fun and take real joy in the experience of building a cabin. Wicked is the first musical I ever saw live on stage, and getting to pour all that love I feel for it into a cabin was incredibly magical. I was more active than I thought I would be, and had wonderful campers and cos, plus I got to work with two incredible cos, River and Mildred, and learned so much more about being a good leader and having fun in the process.

In real life, I have participated in student government, my community theater's leadership team, and the National Junior Honors Society Executive Council, all of which have taught me even more lessons about what it means to be a leader.

03– Cabin Preferences

While I would be thrilled to (co)lead any cabin this session, my two most fleshed-out ideas are for Thriller and Bi-Fi!

Bi-Fi (or Hi-Fi/Adventure)–
This would be based off of the Feast of Fools in the middle ages, but with a fantastical twist!
One day every year, the capitol city gets turned upside down. Magical vendors from the Faery Land come to sell their goods, dancers flock to the streets, and even the Fae themselves come, playing tricks on unsuspecting citizens. But this year, something isn’t quite right— a magical disturbance has the Festival getting a little too upside-down. With the help of several characters who may or may not have secret motives of their own, campers have to get to the bottom of the mystery, before they are stuck in the Festival forever.

I love this idea and feel like it is very different from any cabin I’ve co/led before, so this would be my top choice!

Thriller (or Mystery/Spy-Fi)–
For my first idea, campers would be guests in an elaborate ball in honor of the crowning of the new monarch of the kingdom. However, during the first night of the ball, the monarch goes missing, and campers are recruited by the royal guard to act as spies to get to the bottom of the disappearance. Campers embark on a high-stakes mission across the kingdom to try to find the monarch! Thriller, in my opinion, is the best genre for this idea, but Mystery and Spy-Fi would fit the idea as well.

Although I have the most developed ideas for those two cabins, I'd also love to co/lead Script, Lyric, Sci-Fi, Dystopian, and Mythology.

However, I would rather not co/lead Romance or Fantasy– the former because while I love reading romance, I don't think I would have much to bring to the cabin, and the latter because I just led Fantasy and would love to experience something new!

Regarding TCTWNW, I'd prefer not to co/lead it, as the competitive aspect of SWC motivates me to write and stay engaged throughout the session.

04– Writing Excerpt

You can view ‘Cages of Silk,’ my latest writing competition entry, here!

05– Dedication

Over the months of May, June, and July, I should be able to dedicate 2-3 hours a day to SWC! School lets out in late May, and doesn’t start again until July 31st, so I have practically the whole summer to spend on anything SWC-related.

That said, I do have a trip the second week of July, from the 8th to the 18th. Although I'll have less time in camp, I'll work with my cos to develop a plan, and am confident that I can still fulfill my leadership duties despite my absence.

Apart from my trip, I'm not aware of any significant events that will affect my activity level, but if something arises, I'll notify my leadership team and the hosts!

06– Time Management

Time management… one of the most important life skills, in my opinion. I believe that the ability to manage time effectively and ensure everything gets done is pivotal, as things can change from year to year, month to month, and even day to day. That said, there are certainly parts of time management that are much harder for me than others, and some parts that come more naturally.

Organization is one of those traits! From organizing my desk to color-coding my notes, I find that I am far more motivated to complete things if I can easily access what I need to complete a specific task. Lists and schedules, as well as masterposts that detail everything needed to get done and by when, are strategies I love compiling and using to keep myself and others on track!

Another skill I have in time management is dealing with (and meeting) deadlines. This has a lot to do with my above skill of organization– when I have a clear plan of what to prioritize, I find it far easier to manage everything and make sure that tasks get completed on time! While I don’t always turn things in early, everything is always done on time, which I think is a big player in managing everything on my plate.

A trait that I struggle with, however, is perfectionism. I constantly want things to get done at the absolute best level possible, and that makes life difficult sometimes, especially when I have several projects to handle at once. This perfectionism means that whether it's a leader application, a piece of art, or a writing piece, I won't release it until I'm confident it's the best it can be. I find it difficult to settle for ‘good enough.’ While this drive can sometimes help, it often hurts me by causing me to spend too much time on projects, leading to burnout or exhaustion.

One way I'm addressing this weakness is by setting time limits for myself by figuring out a reasonable amount of time to work on any particular project at once. For example, I might give myself an hour to get the sketches and flats of an art piece finished. If I fail to complete it within that time frame, I take a break and revisit it later, preventing myself from working on it until exhaustion, as I would otherwise do. This approach helps me immensely, as it ensures I tackle projects with a fresh mind, rather than struggling with them for hours at a time.

07– Collaboration & Assets

Collaboration is one of my favorite things – I love sharing ideas and working together with others! There are so many things that an individual member can bring to a team, and I love getting to combine with other people to create something wonderful. However, there are some things in collaboration that I struggle with. Through my constant collaboration with others, both in SWC and in real life, however, I have been improving upon these traits.

Let's start with my strengths, though.

One of my greatest strengths when it comes to collaboration is consensus building. I understand that, coming into a project, everybody has a different idea of how things “should” be done or what the final product might look like. It’s part of the reason I love working with a team so much– all these different ideas combine to make something truly wonderful. Deciding on just one person's idea can be difficult at times. I think one of my greatest strengths is my ability to take all these different ideas and combine them into something that everybody is proud of and happy with!

However, my biggest weakness is the fact that I am a people-pleaser. I am constantly trying to do the most for everybody, which can lead me to stretching myself thin, or leaving too little time to do things that I enjoy. I am also an overthinker: oftentimes, I am afraid to put myself out there or share ideas with the fear of judgement or my idea being shut down or not treated with the response that I was hoping for.

Over the March 2025 session, however, I could feel myself opening up a lot more and being more prepared when handling small disagreements or conflict. I believe part of this stems from my mindset – I remind myself that the conflict is nothing against me, and that everyone in this community is wonderful and will always support me. While I still struggle with these things often, I want to keep up this mindset throughout these next few months and far into the future as I take on other leadership positions.

As for assets talent-wise, my main two are my art and my voice. Recently, I have spent a lot more time doing digital and paper art, and feel my style has improved quite a bit! That said, I'd love to use it to create pfps or other merchandise for my cabin. As for my voice, I love singing and have been doing so with my voice teacher for about four years now! I’d love to put this talent to use in making a cabin parody, theme song, or cover.

08– One Quality

One quality I believe I possess as a leader is respect. To me, respect can have different meanings for different people, but my choir teachers narrowed it down to three main points: ‘Respect for yourself, respect for others, and respect for the space.’

Firstly, respect for yourself. I recently had the opportunity to meet Arielle Jacobs, a Broadway actress known for her roles as the original Gabriella in High School Musical and Jasmine in Aladdin, among others. She said something that I’ll keep with me forever: “Understand that there is a balance between knowing you deserve to be there, and knowing that you can improve.” This ties a lot into respect for myself, especially as a leader. The first relates to belief in yourself– if you are chosen for a leadership position in any capacity, then you deserve to be there. However, this relates to a constant mindset of improvement, knowing that there are things you can continually work on and get better at.

Respect for others. This is a big one, especially in the world of leadership. People just simply aren’t going to want to work with you if they feel that you don’t respect them as people or the ideas that they bring to the table. I always, no matter what, respect others and their ideas. As someone who constantly struggles with putting myself out there due to fear of judgment, I believe that respecting others is crucial because it lets them know their opinions are valued and their ideas are always heard.

Finally, respect for the space. In SWC terms, this means respect for Scratch as a whole, as well as the community that SWC has built up. SWC is a safe space where people may share things they wouldn't discuss in real life, so it's essential to respect that by offering everybody support and love.

The way I embody this trait is by always making an effort to step back and listen to others, even if it may not be necessarily what I was originally expecting or planning on, since everybody has a unique viewpoint to bring to the table. This is incredibly important for leadership in SWC because when you are working with so many different people, different ideas are definitely going to be a result. However, when you take a step back and truly listen, there can be incredible new discoveries.

09– Atmosphere

“A lively and fun atmosphere full of friendly competition, an intricate storyline, and a focus on forging bonds that will last a lifetime”-136 characters

10– Checkboxes

a.
I will be available consistently throughout camp to help add points
I am willing to share a promotional project for SWC

b.
I am ready and willing to complete all responsibilities listed in the FAQ!

c.
In case of inactivity by myself, I will make sure to let the fellow members of my leadership team and hosts know in advance. I will also do my best to make sure that everything will be running smoothly in my absence and that the other members of my leadership team have everything they need to continue through the session!

In case of inactivity by another member of my leadership team, I will wait five days and constantly check for activity, as well as contacting them to see if they respond. If there hasn’t been any activity in five days’ time, I will then discuss with the other members of my leadership team and contact the hosts to come up with a plan.

Hi hi hi! So excited to critique your app <33 So I've skimmed over both your answers and Liv's critique, and saw that she critiqued a lot on punctuation and grammar so I don't feel the need to mention much about that– instead I'll be critiquing for readability and content! I just want to precursor this by saying that absolutely everything I say is said with utmost love and respect to your writing and your answers– I tend to veer towards a harsher tone while critiquing and that has absolutely nothing to do with you, I just want to put things in the most straightforward way possible so that my critique can be understood <3

And this is just my thoughts and a lot of this will just be personal preference, so feel free to keep what you want and throw out the rest <3

My user is igloooo1 as you can tell,

I honestly don't know if you need to include this– because your user isn't really a defining part about you, and also it is something that the viewer can obviously tell. I'd just skip straight to your nicknames, so “I go by Maddie or Igloo” and then continue that sentence <33

I am in middle school, it's up to you to guess which grade I'm in. I could seriously be both in sixth grade and eighth grade, and you wouldn't know any different. Haha, classic privacy always keeping things private

This part also doesn't need to be included, I'd continue to keep that private, but that's just me.

About Me Overall Notes
I love this section! It is the perfect blend of witty humor and perfect chaos, and I think it really tells me a lot about you. The only thing I'd say is at some times it tells me a little too much about you. I'd recommend condensing this section because at times it feels like you're rambling a little bit, which is perfect for your personality but also I feel like your personality could also shine through while condensing it.

Experience Overall Notes
Again, at times it gets a little bit on the ramble-y side, but otherwise it looks good! The only thing I'd say is at least mention or list the cabins that you have been in during past sessions, just to give people a general outlook on what cabins you've been a part of! Also, I'd mention what your irl leadership experiences have taught you about how to become a better leader– I feel like that rounds out the experience answer quite nicely.

As you probably know if you saw my last application….we do not speak of it hehe….

I'd change ‘as you probably’ to ‘as you might’ because not everybody looking at apps this session might have looked at apps last session– some of these people might never even have met you before!

Cabin Preferences Overall Notes
I'd say elaborate more on your ideas! You don't have to wait to be accepted to share your ideas– I wrote about my whole storyline plot for Fantasy in my leader app! That said, if you don't have anything specific in mind, then just as it is seems perfect <33 And also include how you feel about TCTWNW!

Time Dedication Overall Notes
Remember to state the specific amount of time you think you'll be on each day– it helps leaders and hosts get a better sense of how active you're going to be during session.

Time Management Overall Notes
Expand more on your strengths and weaknesses! Here are a few things to keep in mind if you are having trouble with that:
How does your aptitude with deadlines help you keep on track? Are there other things (like organization and prioritization) that go into that?
And your quality of procrastination– how do you get distracted? Does your wanting to get stuff done before the deadline make the overall result much messier than you would have wanted?
Some irl examples of these things could also help buff up your answer and have it be more solid <33

When I work with others I think I can safely say people go to me to do all the work because they know (they know… >) I'll get it done the best.

A lot of collaboration, especially in SWC, has to do with balance. Balance between the amount of work that leaders and cos do, balance between team members, balance between the leaders and the campers, even! So I'd say that this strength could be phrased differently, than just “People have me do all the work” because that isn't really how things often shape up in SWC settings. However, this could be rephrased to “I always get things done to the best level that they can be, and people trust me to do that” or something along those lines <3

Collaboration & Assets Overall Notes
I'd love to get a weakness or two in collaboration as well! It shows a well-rounded person who has both weaknesses and strengths, but is working to improve their weaknesses!

One Quality Overall Notes
This seems to take another ramble-y turn at the end, I'd make sure that you are strictly sticking to your talk of determination and how that benefits you as a person and as a leader. I'd also love to see some examples of determination in your everyday life and how that has helped you become a better person and a better leader because of it.

Final Notes
Great job– I know that creating an app can be daunting work, and you've done it! There are a couple spelling mistakes in there, but I'm confident that Liv has gotten to those <3 If I had one final note to say for this app, I'd say add more examples about how these things relate to your life and how your experiences has made you a better person. I'd also be careful where you ramble, and while it shows lovely personality, it can detract from the overall quality of your answers! Finally, I'd check and make sure you have fully answered all parts of the questions– like including both strengths and weaknesses in the ‘collaboration’ category or how you feel about TCTWNW in the ‘cabin preferences’ category.

Wonderful work, and good luck!! It's been an absolute honor to critique your app, thank you for sharing it with me <3

Hi Skylar! So excited to be critiquing your app <33 I have a lot of things on my plate so I haven't gotten around to reading your app all the way through yet, so I'll be critiquing as I go! So just keep in mind that if I comment about something that's answered later, just feel free to ignore it. To go along with that, this is your app and a lot of my critiques are just personal preference and the way I see/read things, so feel free to take what works and throw out what doesn't <3 Let's get into it!

I am somewhat overly involved in Model United Nations at school

Just a quick note that I am very very particular about word choice and sentence flow, so if I comment something about it, it's just me being picky <3
But that said, ‘somewhat’ and ‘overly’ are opposites (in my book at least) and their use here together doesn't quite make sense. I don't have any exact ideas about how to rewrite it at the moment, but just consider that going into the editing process.

I also love being creative! I also love art! I, of course, also love writing!

Your next three paragraphs all start very very similarly! This makes your answer seem kind of repetitive and I feel like some variation in your first sentences could really improve this answer overall <3

About Me Overall Notes
Great job with this section! I feel like I learned a lot about you as a person, and you focused on a lot of different aspects of yourself, making the answer seem very well-rounded. Other than the few things I pointed out, this answer is perfect <3

It was such a fun experience, getting to plan activities and engage with the SWC community from the leadership side. I also really enjoyed it because

Just a little note that this sentence at the end is incomplete! I would also note what your experience co-leading FanFi taught you, since that makes this answer really pop and could take it to the next level, in my opinion.

Experience Overall Notes
Again, amazing work! The only thing I would suggest is to list your sessions that you camped for– it definitely isn't necessary, but I feel like it adds a lot! It can also help people recall you, like “oh yeah! I was in (blank) cabin with her and she seemed so nice and welcoming!” which can help build a positive image for yourself <3

Cabin Preferences Overall Notes
Your ideas sound so cool!! :starstruck:

As of now, I have no plans in July,

Because of the plans you talk about later, I would amend this to “no concrete plans” or “no time-consuming activities” because ‘no’ plans implicates your schedule is completely free <33

however we do have family coming over to visit during July, however I don’t know how much I’ll actually be travelling with them since I’ll still be in school when they arrive.

This seems a bit ramble-y and hard to read to me (ofc that might just be me ahaha), consider condensing it into one sentence!

Time Dedication Overall Notes
I love how you outline each of the three months, it really helps people get a better sense of how active you are going to be throughout the whole process <3

I wouldn’t say my time management is the greatest skill I have. In fact, I’m extremely bad at it.

I feel like a more fleshed-out introduction to this paragraph would be helpful and make the reading experience less jarring, and also I always like it a little better when people start out with their strengths, focusing on the positive before the negative. But this is just personal preference!!!

lot of the things I plan on there normally get done by the end of the day.

Again more personal preference, but I feel like a more blanket statement might help out a little bit, like “Bullet journaling helps me get as much productivity out of my days as I can” or something along those lines!

Time Management Overall Notes
At first, I was wary of this answer purely because of how short it is (but that might just be my tendency to over share in my own answers bwahaha) but I actually love how direct and to the point everything is! The only thing I would suggest is perhaps adding some more personal experiences about how these strengths and weaknesses have helped/hurt you in your everyday life.

Collaboration & Assets Overall Notes
Again, I personally like it better when people start with their strengths, but whatever you think works best is perfectly fine!

more and more of these sorts of roles in real life.

This is a little unclear, maybe change it to “leadership roles” just to clarify?

One Quality Answer Overall Notes
Aww I love this answer <33 I feel like the way you tied it into yourself and your experiences in SWC makes it so real and shows a side of yourself that really just enriches your whole application! One small thing I would say is that if you want to, perhaps say how mentoring others makes you feel, knowing that you are giving them the same welcome experiences that others have given you? But that's just some food for thought, no need to include it <33

I’d also aim to create a somewhat competitive cabin, but keep the atmosphere generally relaxed in terms of competition.

These two pieces of information seem to directly contradict each other, I wonder if it would sound better if you cut off the ‘in terms of competition’? Just my own thoughts!

Cabin Atmosphere Overall Notes
Looks great!

and wait two days.

Again, just personal opinion, but I don't think two days is the right amount of time? I feel like two days isn't serious enough to actually hurt the cabin as a whole– there are times when a leader or co-leader has been gone for more than two days, I think it's around the five day mark when I started to get worried? But I'd just consider extending the wait time a little bit, just to give people more wiggle room and chance to come back, especially since things can happen like an unexpected injury or family emergency: they will likely be able to notify you within three or four days <33

Final Notes
I love your app! You tackle all these questions with such honest and real answers, and they are all answered completely and the whole app just feels so polished and well-done <3 I'm so so impressed and really don't have any overarching notes for this!

Thank you for letting me critique this, and I am so excited to see the final product!

Hi Kat! I'm so excited to critique your app <33 That said, just remember that these are only my thoughts and personal preferences, and somebody else might tell you something completely different xD So keep what you want and feel free to throw out the rest ahaha <33

11-year-old girl

I know that Liv also commented on this, but I personally prefer when age is left out of it– using things like ‘preeteen’ or ‘teenager’ is fine, but I feel like age shouldn't be a defining factor, but again, just personal preference!

I love trying
new things

You don't need a new line there <3

I do have lots of interests- I love trying new things so come over and talk anytime, meeting new people is nice

I would rephrase this, because “trying new people” doesn't quite make sense, and that's kind of how I feel like this is phrased ahaha

About Me Overall Notes
Amazing work! Honestly, though, I would love to see more– I feel like I got to know you very shallowly, and I would love to have this answer go more in depth, showing more personality and hobbies <33

Experience Overall Notes
Great! The only thing I'd touch on is perhaps show how leading irl has helped you become a better person and more well-suited for leadership online! But that's just if you have time and feel like editing that answer <3

Cabin Preferences Overall Notes
I love your ideas for these cabins :starstruck: but no big notes on this section!

During the session of July, I will be dedicate an hour at the very least on SWC.

This feels a little oddly worded for me, perhaps consider shifting it to “In July, I will be able to dedicate at least an hour to SWC”? But whatever you think works best!

I don’t have any specific plans that I know of currently, except for school and extracurriculars, which would take up a lot of my time.

I would note how much ‘a lot’ is, and what extracurriculars they are specifically, so people can get a feel for how busy you are going to be <3

As for June, half of it will be a vacation so I can spend as much as time possible for cabin planning. I have little-to-none plans, but since school will just be starting up after summer vacation, that will be my priority. However, I’ve always managed to balance SWC with real life dedications, so I should be able to complete all my responsibilites, along with write!

Okay! A few things: I'd consider starting with your activities in June, because that comes first chronologically. And also I would change ‘little to none’ to ‘little to no’ because that flows better and makes more sense, imo. Also, if school is starting up in June (since that's the way this is worded) wouldn't school also be going in July? If that's the case, I'd consider listing school as a factor in your activity plans for July!

Time Dedication Overall Notes
I critiqued pretty much every sentence in this answer apologies </3 I'm being very picky today dslkfj But once you clear up some wording and perhaps elaborate more, this answer will be super solid!

completing deadlines

I would consider rewording this, because deadlines aren't really ‘completed’ they can be met or things can be done before them, but they can't essentially be completed

Time Management Overall Notes
I love the way you presented solutions to your weaknesses- it really makes for a well-rounded answer!

Collaboration Overall Notes
I love this section! The only thing I'd say is if you have skills in like art or graphic design or something along those lines to note them as well <3

One Quality Overall Notes
Aaaa I love this answer <333

Atmosphere & Checkboxes
Both looking good!

Final Notes
AAA KAT <333 I love love love this app– you handled these answers in such a thoughtful way and I am so so impressed! That said, my overall note for this entire app (and I've given this note to like almost everybody ahaha) is to include ‘more.’ I love to see a personal connection between the writer and whoever is reading the application, by touching on personal experiences and things that are close to the writer's heart, and I feel like including some of that could really enhance your already amazing answers! It could be as simple as recounting an anecdote from your own life, or going deeper into why certain qualities are important to you <3

Other than that, there isn't anything big! Thank you for sharing this with me, and best of luck <3333