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Jan 22nd Daily: Writing Fight: Find someone else's form and choose a character (or a few). Once you've done that, write a short piece of writing for them, including or about their character(s). To give them their writing, just reply to the comment holding their form. Your reply should include a link to the writing.

Writing Fight: Character used @AbbieB1266's character Zara.

Word Count: 1,007

Glancing out the window, I saw that it was another drizzly morning, just like the last. Tossing the covers aside, I swung my feet over the bed and stood up, stretching. Mom would have her coffee brewing downstairs any minute. Even on weekends, she saw to her same morning routine. Usually, I wouldn’t. Sleeping in was always a must…but I had finally picked where I was going to get the perfect photo for the photography competition, so I had to go. The sun wouldn't stay in the perfect spot forever. After slipping into a t-shirt, a bracelet, and my cropped jeans, I stood by the window, brushing out my long brown hair. I watched as kids biked by our house and joked with each other. I was probably the quietest person at my school, but that wasn’t because I didn’t want friends. Never being noticed and being insecure, was a cycle I had sort-of slipped into. I glanced away, my gaze landing on the clock. I was gonna be late! Jogging down the stairs, I said goodbye to my mom and headed out the door.

Just before I shut it, I heard my mother say, “Have fun, Zara!”

Pulling my bike from around the side of the house, I hopped on and started to petal, enjoying the feel of the wind in my hair and the slight chill of the drizzly air. I pulled up next to the old oak tree in the park, stomped the kick stand down, and climbed the tree. Almost blinded, I shielded my eyes from the golden rays that extended from the sun. I pulled out my phone and started taking pictures of the sunrise. Maybe this year, I could finally win the photography contest, I thought with a smile. I slipped my phone back into my pocket, climbed down the tree, and dusted off my hands on my jeans. Turning, I hopped onto my bike and tried to start pedaling, but the gear was stuck.

“Again? This thing always needs oil,” I grumbled.

I chained it up against the tree and started walking back towards our house. Once I got there, I would have to ask mom to drive over and pick up the bike. Reaching into my backpack, I pulled out my headphones and started listening to my pop playlist. My steps matched the music, and I enjoyed how it made the walk more fun as I passed through our quiet neighborhood. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of green, and my mouth dropped open and I took off my headphones. A gigantic green leopard with a spiky tail, raced into the middle of the road, jumping after a butterfly. It smashed into Mr. Drew’s metal trash cans with a clang, and I rubbed my eyes. ‘Was I seeing things?’ Reopening my eyes, I shook my head. Nope. It was real. Its big green eyes stared at me, and my heart rate sped up. ‘Oh, no, oh, no. It sees me.’ I started running now, my converse shoes tripping on my laces a couple times, and the cat bounded after me. Each time it landed, the ground shook, and it was hard for me to keep my balance. Finally, it gained on me, and I picked up a stick from the side of the road.

“Stay back. This girl isn’t going to be your lunch today, kitty!” I yelled, gripping onto the stick like a baseball bat.

The leopard stopped in front of me, it’s huge eyes now right in my face. My eyes never left its face, wary of its every move. ‘It had the cutest little cheeks,’ I thought, studying the creature now. ‘They looked like cotton balls. What no? Stop it. That thing is dangerous.’

But the more I looked at it, the more it didn’t seem like a monster. It had flattened its ears against its head, and its eyes looked so sweet. I gently put the stick down, and I exhaled, feeling crazy for doing that, but also wanting to see what would happen. The leopard nudged my wrist with its nose, and I glanced down.

“My bracelet?”

It had been something I had picked up a thrift store yesterday, without much thought. It had an intricate silver chain and a green pendant. Green? I inspected it closer, rubbing my thumb over the gem. My eyes widened in surprise. A leopard was engraved lightly into the backside of it.

“Did this…summon you?”

The cat simply ignored me and started licking its paw. I rolled my eyes and started walking away from the cat. A test. Was it bound to the bracelet? Was it required to follow? Once I got about 100 feet away, the cat perked up and started following me again. I tried this repeatedly, and each time the cat could only be about 100 feet away from me. The only thing that would make sense was that he was a guardian…or something. And my bracelet was more than just a bracelet.

“I’ll have to tell my mom about you…” I whispered, as the cat and I slipped into the backyard.

Finally, I accepted the fact that he wasn't going to eat me, and I put my hand against its cheek. I giggled. It was the softest thing, I'd ever felt. I pet it some more, and happiness filled me as I heard it start to purr. Honestly, for such a scary cat, it could be extremely adorable. I wasn’t sure if she’d be okay with it, but I had to keep him. I couldn’t give up something this mysterious. I had to know more, I had to find out what made this bracelet so special.

“Stay,” I said, motioning with my hands as I backed up, towards the back door. Once inside, I breathed a sigh of relief, my back against the door. I chuckled softly, how crazy would this have sounded to me yesterday? ‘But I had a friend now,’ I thought, smiling. I had a friend.

“Are you entering the science fair?” Estelle's friend, Mimi, asks. “No way! What if I lose? That would be so embarrassing!” Estelle says. “That's it!” Mimi shouts, a bit too loudly. The two girls get looks across the hallway. “Mimi! You just humiliated us,” Estelle whisper-shouts. “It doesn't matter, Essie!” Mimi whisper-shouts back, then adds, “Why are we whispering?” Estelle lightly laughs before saying, “No clue.” Without warning, Mimi gets a look on her face Estelle recognized. It was the look that said “I've got a plan,” and it usually wasn't a good one. Mimi ran towards the opposite direction of their history class. “I'm signing up for the science fair!” Mimi calls. “Sure! I'm going to history,” Estelle calls back, and slowly walks to her history class. “Where is Mariam?” Her teacher asks. “She's signing up for the science fair,” Estelle replies. “Shouldn't you enter as well? You're a science wizz!” Estelle's teacher exclaims. “I'm not sure, Ms. Han” Estelle murmurs. A frown appears on her face before she tells Estelle to sit down. “Hi Ms. Han!” a cheerful voice enters the classroom. “What's up with you, Mimi?” Estelle says, slightly nervous. Mimi's tone was a bit scary. “Nothing, I just thought of a uh, something for the science fair.” She replies. Hmm.. Estelle didn't think much of it, and they continued on with class. Estelle was a nerd in any subject, and was acing her classes. But Mimi was the one who raised her hand each second. After history, she had science while Mimi rushed off to English. “Can't be late again!” She shouts. Estelle giggled quietly. She then walked all the way across the school just to arrive right before the bell. Estelle sighed. “I hope you're excited for the science fair!” Estelle's science teacher, Mr. Cincenero, yelped. “Mr. C, I won't be participating,” Estelle fake-smiled. “Ah.. Mimi entered you, and you cannot turn back. Wild ride, huh?” He replied. “What..” Estelle whispered. She ran to her seat and didn't pay attention during the entire class. When the bell rang, she immediately ran to Mimi. “Why did you enter me?!” She shouted, not daring to share a look with anyone in the hallway. “We can pair up! It's okay,” And Estelle's mood changed fast, like lightning. “Oh, alright..” She replied, as the two shared a smile.

Weekly #3

Part 1

Hearing:
Taste: Naomi feels the dryness on her tongue, drinking her own spit, which did work but was a bland mixture, she struggles to focus on survival as hunger overtakes her. She smells bread from the market, smelling so good she could taste it. She rushes over in the direction of the market, before falling. Tasting blood, Naomi is concerned but her hunger drives her forward. After she arrives at the market, she steals a few loaves, and goes back home.

When she opens the door, she immediately shouts out, “I've gotten food!” across the raggedy cottage. 8 pairs of feet stormed down the stairway. Naomi takes a bite and closes her eyes. It was the best bread she'd had in forever. The richness kept its flavour on her tongue, the crunchy bits sounding so much more pleasing than it should. The butter melted in Naomi's mouth. She overheard the delight from her family, too. Naomi devoured the whole thing until it was left in crumbs.

Sight: Noah climbs up the snow-capped mountain. He was almost at the top! The sunset looked beautiful from up where he was, but the real deal was soon to come. Noah looked down at the forest below. The pine trees looked like dots from up there. The mountain's rocky surface was hard to climb on, but with his hiking stick, and his father, he was okay. Birds flew across the sky, cawing, and he focused his vision on the nest on a nearby tree. He gasped in awe. An egg was cracking inside! Noah had to get a closer look, so he strided towards the top for a better view. But he couldn't help himself. He focused on the elk down below. “Look, dad!” He exclaimed. Elk were rare to find, but he had vision as sharp as a hawk up high on the mountain. His father shared the gasp with Noah. He brought out his camera and took many, many pictures. “Dad! That's enough,” Noah said, laughing. He suddenly realized how close he was to the top. He ran up and added a tiny flag. “Wow,” Noah and his dad say together.

Smell: The smell of bacon and eggs wakes up Aisha immediately. Aisha follows the sound all the way to the kitchen. “It smells great here!” Aisha exclaims. “I think you should make us some breakfast, you have such good cooking!” Aisha's older brother says. “Why not,” Aisha replies. A yesss escapes from her brother's mouth. She puts on her apron and ties up her hair. She got some eggs from the refrigerator and cracked them in the pan. The savory smell broke out into the air. Aisha grabbed a handful of parsley and chopped it up into little bits while cooking the egg. It added a fresh aroma to the mix. She then added a few spices which completely changed the smell. The spice added a pop to the aroma overall. Aisha flipped it high into the air and caught it gracefully with her spatula. She added a pinch of garlic to it as well, cooked it a bit more and set it on the table. The smell filled her nose. “Mmm” she took a bite of her masterpiece. “Hey! Leave some for me,” Her brother yells. He fits it all in his mouth, somehow the smell was still going strong. They both laughed while each of her family members woke up to the delicious scent.

Touch: Jillian feels the mist on her shoulders that managed to escape her umbrella. “Not again..” she mumbles. The umbrella was broken, of course. The ribs of it were falling apart, the wood on the handle felt rigid. The stretchers pulled her hair. Jillian sighs. Adding to the annoyance, she felt the steady wind behind her neck. She had to keep walking, though.

Jillian then felt her hair whipping across her face as the wind blew it around. Jillian steps into the water, as minnows nibble at her feet, tickling her slightly. She giggles. But then Jillian shivers at the freezing cold water splashing onto her legs, knee-deep. She immediately runs out, but suddenly a sharp rock cuts her foot. Pain goes around her body. Jillian slowly lays down on the sand to rest for a while, and sets her umbrella free into the wind. It was no good, anyways.

The sun finally comes out, the heat glazing her arms. She sighs in relief, her breath still slightly foggy. A feather falls on her shoulder, probably from a seagull. She picks it up, feeling the soft hairs breeze on her cheek. Suddenly, a light shines in her face, from the lighthouse, that blinds her view of the ocean. Finally, Jillian stands up and continues walking, the wet sand squishes below her toes, and she decides to be more mindful about the rocks in her path.

Part 2

I push past the wet vines of the Elm Tree, like soggy cereal in a bowl of milk. My dog follows me, barking. I hush him, and he obeys my order. The vines breeze in the wind, waving to me, a warm welcome, in the cold, winter night. My eyes glisten at the beautiful pond, hiding behind the vines, and for what? A wonderful sight, I've been yearning to see. It was heaven. No, it was better than heaven itself. My whole life was complete from a simple glance at it. The sweet smell of the marigolds filled my nose. It was a blessing, as I soon forgot about all my worries– feeding my little brother, caring for my ill father, dying slowly at the thought of my deceased mother. His heart, still and lifeless, dead. My dog ruffs, interrupting my thoughts. I flinch, and realizing it's just Daisy, I inhale another sniff as a smile grins wide across my face. My dog curls up on my feet. It was the first time in months, and I immediately opened my eyes in shock. I smiled! Noticing this, I grin wider from ear to ear. The pond was still, faintly blue, with lily pads floating, and ever so slightly moving. Tiny tadpoles splash around, the grown frogs lay on the lily pads. Rocks scattered all around, moss covering them as flowers bloom everywhere around me. Marigolds mostly –a hint of hyacinths and water lilies– as well as beautiful irises, blessing my eyes, it looked so aesthetically pleasing. I gather lots of flowers in my hand, attempting a bouquet. My dog clenches one in his mouth, and I take it, laughing. I stopped short. This pond was a miracle! I continue my laugh, and grab the slobbery flower from Daisy's mouth, as my eyes wander far across acres of land. I notice a garden, I suspect fruits are growing there as well. I dash out, the flowers falling from my hand. Bursting out from the vines, hunger overtakes me slowly, as I climb the fence with ease and rip out the weeds. I've done them a favour, I tell myself, to hide the guilt. I stole all of the strawberries, I just couldn't help it. I take a few potatoes, this will make some good soup, with the tomatoes also growing in her garden. A woman peers through the window, running to the door, but I leap over the fence, hiding back in the pond. I notice a pile of Aurora Azaleas. Oh no, I told myself. I tried to bust out but the azaleas slowly grasped my brain. Slowly, my vision flickers, my eyes retreating, as I completely go unconscious. The last thing I hear is my dog barking at me, in distress. He licks my face and I smile, eyebrows still furrowing.

Weekly #3 Pt. 2 1/22/23
word count: 446
points: 700

I walked down the bone chilling path of darkness. Shadows nipped at my skin like mosquitos, uncomfortable and prickly. I ignored it as I trudged down the hallway to accept my fate. It was inevitable it was only a matter of accepting it earlier or later. My boots, as dark as ink, blended in with the surroundings very well. Like a cat dancing through the moonlight I just as gracefully stalked through the shadow realm. There was no sign of light in this dark realm, but my eyes had gotten used to it after months of sneaking around here. Who knows what my eyes would react when I finally escape to the light realm? I finally reached the door. The door was a giant, towering over me with a side of fear and danger. This was a test and I was going to pass. The door had the most brightness you would see in the shadow realm. The dimmest light ever but still it stung my eyes causing tears to flow down like rivers. Once my eyes adjusted to the dim light I could see all the details of the door leading to the Throne of the Shadow Demon. Carvings of the demonkind wrapped around the sharp edges of the frame. Each one had a devious smile, creepy yet beckoning you to come closer, and closer, and closer… till you ended up in the growling stomachs. Plants with thorns of teeth snapped at me, the doorframe was alive! I stepped closer, taking in a big belly breath inhaling the air which smelled faintly of chrysanthemums. Taking two more steps my hand reached out for the doorknob. Immediately pain seared up my arm, stabbing like needles, I snatched my hand back breathing laborly. This was clearly not meant for human kind to enter. Trying again I wrapped my hand around in my leather jacket that I had shed off, the leather jacket had been Jaquelin’s, my sister’s before she was taken by the demons, it was the only trace of her that was left behind. I was here on a journey, to bargain her back, with the fearsome Demon King, his real name was not to be uttered, it was Abaddon. Even just the mention of him brought waves of shudders to whoever had heard, but I was different, I wasn’t afraid, I wasn’t a coward, and I would prove that by bringing my sister back. Clutching the doorknob, I turned it and the door slammed open. Two demon guards jumped out and wacked me with their ridiculously large spears, my eyesight blackened as the ground neared, the cold floor sinking its venomous teeth into my cheek.

Weekly #3
PART ONE:

(this is me experimenting- describing the same scene but with focus on a different sense each time)

Sight: 151 words
From my perch in the alcove of our white manor, the ocean spread out beneath me like a glittering blanket. The fading haze of sunlight was slowly tucking itself into the folds of the water, dipping lower and lower into the horizon. The waves sparkled with dancing lights, twirling and soaring across the dark depths of sea.

I watched as the sun continued sliding out of view, leaving only splotches of orange paint in the sky as it was replaced with a silvery speck- the moon.

The moon was like a spotlight as it materialized from behind a wisp of cloud and perched amongst the stars, shining down through the window and casting grey shadows across the floorboards. It shone with an ethereal glow in the sky, illuminating a dark-winged bird as it soared overhead. Delicate shafts of starlight dotted the waters beneath like flitting fireflies in a crystal clear jar.

Smell: 161 words
From inside I couldn’t smell much, just the lavender essential oil Mama rubbed on my wrist to help me sleep. It clearly hadn’t helped much, as I was sitting awake watching the stars from my window bench. The alcove smelled of paint and mint and flowers, but it was masked by the power lavender, which filled the air with floral sweetness.

I slowly pushed the window open, letting the sea air wash over me. The lavender was instantly hidden underneath the scent of salt and ocean, which poured in through the open window like invisible waves. The scent of the ocean has always fascinated me, each layer that drifts over the water is like a new world. Sometimes its flowers, sometimes the overpowering stench of salt and misery, and occasionally it’s like a brilliant storm- that freshness of cleansing rain washing away your doubts and pain. There’s an ease to the scent of rain; perhaps that’s why Momma moved us here.

Sound: (151 words)
The window swings open with a creak, replacing the empty silence with the crashing of waves. The ocean sounds like a mighty beast at this time of night, roaring and crashing with the rising and falling of tides and the breaths of delicate wind. Its thunderous bellows can be heard for miles around, as if it’s calling to its ocean friends, the sound echoing through the universe.

Perhaps the Earth speaks in roars; the crackles of lighting, the bellows of thunder, the whispers of wind, the rustle of leaves. Perhaps us humans just can’t comprehend the extent of which nature can communicate. Perhaps every sound, every breath, every cry of a bird or hiss of a snake has a purpose in the way our Mother Earth speaks with us. Perhaps we just can’t understand her.

Or perhaps I am grasping at loose threads for a way to communicate with the world.

Taste: 152 words
Living by the sea tastes like salt and water. It hangs in the air like a fog; everytime you open your mouth to say something or breathe in, you get the taste. As if it’s been raining for days, until the mist lies suspended in the air as if hanging from a curtain rod.

The taste rolls off the ocean, blessing us with its salty air. There’s something new and clean about it, like a fresh start. Is that why Momma moved us here? A fresh start? If that’s the case, then she got one.

Our old town was greyer than rainy skies, and the only thing the air tasted of was smoke and burning rubber, save the bakery down the street from us, which wafted caramel and cinnamon down the road. I guess Momma just needed a cleanse, a change, a sparkle where there’s been grey.

I think I did too.

Touch: exactly 150 words
The ocean air was cold, biting my cheeks and bare arms with each hungry breath. I didn’t mind though; the cold was real, it made me feel alive amidst the cardboard-box decorated room I was in. Moving was stressful, but the ocean was worth it.

I let the moonlight wash over me, and although it wasn’t a tangible thing, it gave me comfort to know it was there, a beacon of hope and starlight in the sky. Something about the bitter kisses of wind surrounded by stars gave me such peace. Maybe that’s where I belong, amongst the glitter and spirals in the sky.

I close my eyes briefly before shutting the window, relishing the salty spray for another moment, preserving the instant of calm and peace that came with the night. Finally I crawled back under my pale rose sheets.

And only then did I drift off to sleep.

PART TWO: (445 words)
Included simile, metaphor, hyperbole, and personification

“So this is it?” you ask me, your eyes like silver pools in the moonlight and suddenly I’m drowning, drowning in their glean.

I don’t know how to answer. Perhaps I’m scared of the answer. Perhaps I’m scared of the things you make me feel. Perhaps I’m scared of how much I don’t want this to be the end. I open my mouth, and close it again.

That little crease is forming between your eyebrows, a fold in the smooth paper of your forehead. My silence makes you hesitate- I can feel it. There’s something you want to say.

You tuck a strand of dark hair behind your ear, even though the breeze only blows it back in your face. Your eyes glance behind me at the manor, and then snap back to mine. “Ben, tell me this- what is it that you want? Do you want this? Because if you do, you know I’ll support you but-” Your voice hitches and something breaks inside me.

I finally find words. “I want… I…” I can’t answer that. The answer is too scary, too monumental, too meaningful. I don’t know how to get the words out.

You close your eyes. “I need to know, please. And then maybe I can accept it.”

“I want…” I choke on air.

You step closer to me. I can smell your perfume, that sweet scent that always reminds me of wildflowers. Our bond is like a wildflower, growing up out of craggy rocks and making the loose soil a bit more colorful. Maybe that’s why it scares me; you’re reaching towards the sun and I’m somewhere lost underneath, still searching for the perfect way to climb up there too. I want to be up there, sticking petals and arms and fingers out at the sky, but I don’t know how to get there, how to get past that final rock that is telling you.

“Do you know what I want?” you finally ask me.

I shake my head.

“I want you to stay.”

Even amongst the roars of wind, your words are the only thing I can hear, echoing in my mind.

You reach out and grab my hand. Electricity jolts through me. “I want you to stay,” you say again.

I have a sudden desire well up inside me, though for what I’m not sure. Your presence feeds me, and I finally have the courage to whisper, “I want to stay.”

They aren’t the right words. They’ll never be the right words. But what I want to utter is lodged in my throat, and I fear I’ll break from the strain of getting it out.

This works. For now.

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Daily #23: A Favorite Song

Words: 365
Points: 400

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Disclaimer: I have way, way too many favorite songs to pick just one, but of course I just had to choose one to go with for this daily; so this short story is based on the song “Na Na Na” by Pentatonix. I recommend checking this song out, or at least looking up the lyrics to better understand the inspiration behind this lil story.
PS. If you haven't heard of Pentatonix or haven't listened to much of their music, you are missing out in life.
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I bounced out of bed enthusiastically. I couldn’t give a specific reason why, but I felt endlessly, ridiculously, incredibly happy today. Life had been going really well lately; I was often in a good mood, and after a difficult few months, I was learning to be optimistic and truly enjoy the things that mattered.
I ran to the window, wondering if the weather looked as cheery as I felt. Sure enough, there was the sun shining down at me brightly. I grinned, and started whistling a merry tune. The sound traveled through the house like a strong breeze, and it brought my older sister into my room. She stared in confusion as she watched me dance around the room, still whistling.
“Woah, you’re in a good mood today,” she chuckled.
“Yep!” My voice came out shakily due to the fact that I was whirling around in circles.
My sister smiled and shook her head. “Crazy girl!”
Suddenly I stopped dancing and stood still. “I just realized why I’ve been so happy lately,” I announced excitedly. “It’s because my dreams are becoming a reality!”
My sister just looked at me in confusion.
“A lot of the good things that have been happening lately- I’ve been dreaming about them, and they’re coming true!” I chattered to her. “Don’t you see?”
“I’m not really sure I do see… but whatever it is that you’ve figured out, I’d like some of that happiness myself!” She smiled.
“Oh, it’s simple. You just need to change your perspective on things, and dream big” I explained. “Imagine it like you’re traveling to a wonderful place, a better place, with greener grass- a happy place. But to get there, you have to walk across a tightrope. Sometimes you’ll wobble and fall off, but that’s okay. Just spread your wings and fly!” I jumped off of my bed, flapping my arms to demonstrate.
Laughing, my sister caught me.
“That sounds absolutely crazy; but you know, I do think I understand your little theory!” She said, “Just believe that your dreams can come true if you keep going.”
“Exactly! Now that you understand, our dreams can become realities together.” I said, grinning up at her.

Writing Comp Entry – 412 words

Disorient

She approached the door, and ever so slightly, reaches toward the doorknob, with shaking hands. The doorknob creaks as she goes in, leaving the door open; an easy escape, but immediately the door closes on its own. She shivers, as she stares at the ruins, trying to find something worth of gold, as her only reason she dare enter was only for an item of cost. Slowly, she crouched down, finding an emerald necklace, gleaming through the pile of ruckus. Something to feed her tonight! A smile widened across her face, and she grabbed it, kissed it, but suddenly she felt the ground shake. A gasp escapes in between her lips. It was just like the myths. No, those were fake. She was silly for believing such tales! Still clutching the emerald necklace, she runs –a steady jog, at most– towards the door, but the ground breaks ahead of her, leaving no chance of escape. What had she done? She dashes up the stairs, to /hopefully/ find a window to jump out of, but to no avail; the stairs recede behind her, leaving her completely bewitched. Had she made a mistake? She finally spots a window, but the glass gets a mind of its own, and stabs her, leaving her laid on the floor, completely still. Tears rush down her face. The furniture is moving. No, she was making this up. Maybe it was all a dream. No. The stabbed area pained dearly. She wasn't in control of her own thoughts anymore. Voices were coming and going through her head, the intrusive thoughts booming. She couldn't give up on herself like that. But she was dead; mentally. Her brain was paralyzed. She still was alive, down on the floor, extremely tense, as she tried, struggled, at the very least, to retain herself; her head was going against her. Why had she come in here? A hand creeps through the side of the wooden plank, grabbing her. No, she had to make it out alive. Run. Get up. What are you doing? She lets out a scream, but her voice is drowned out. She no longer feels like her own self; her self consciousness has taken over. Suddenly, her head starts to ache; her body falling, her vision flickering, leaving herself limp on the floor. She had given up on herself; as she had no escape, and was now part of the mortals that dared enter this house, just as the myth said.

Daily #23 1/23/23
word count: 862
points: 400

I keep my head down strolling down the school hallway. I can feel the glances of my fellow classmates burning like lasers into my skin. Their whispers like knives to my skin, I can’t stand it, the insults echoing in my mind, hideous, liar, demon. I hide, burying my head deeper into my hoodie, holding my tongue and stumbling to where it’s safe, the nearest classroom, but it’s still not enough, just three more hours, just three more I chant to myself.

Later that night…
I stumbled into the bathroom, dreary and disorientated from my restless sleep. I crashed immediately after returning home and just woke up now. My mother wouldn’t be home till Sunday, just three days away. My stomach was empty but I didn’t feel like eating, the idea of food disgusted me at this moment. Staring into the mirror I saw the image that others saw of me, a monster. My plain black hair draped down my face in sheets, greasy from days of not washing it. My freckles dotted my pale face making them stand out more, unwashable, permanent. My eyes, a hideous shade of obsidian, I looked nothing like my mother, people love comparing me to her, Gema Bailey this, Gema Bailey that. I hated it, the constant comparison of what I should be but what I could never become. Mother loved comparing me to her as well, I could hear the unspoken words whenever she argued with me, ‘if only you were more like me’, like the attention of the media wasn’t enough. Since I was born it weighed me down constantly on how I would fail to reach peoples’ expectations, the cluck of their tongues, their looks of disappointment, and the words once again, ‘if only you were more like your mother’, again and again. And, for some reason after eighteen years of that, I’m still here, my whole body covered in invisible cracks, mentally, someday I would shatter, it was close. I slammed my fist against the mirror. It vibrated as if it were going to shatter but I knew it wouldn’t. I dragged myself back to my room and picked up my jar. On my fifteenth birthday my only friend, Jade, had given me this crystal jar, it sparkled in the light. It was her goodbye present as she and her family were going to move back to Japan. She told me that she had written 200 slips of paper inside, every week I should pick one and do whatever it told me to do. Then she left, my only friend for fifteen years. I still do it, the paper slips were running low now only twenty left. Today I stuck my hand in it and grabbed a slip of paper, my hands trembled with the paper as I unraveled it. “Go on a trip, see where it takes you, enjoy yourself for once.” it said. It was very vague but it flipped a switch in my mind. This was my chance, my chance to ‘escape’ from this messed up version of me that I barely even know, from all these people who judge me by comparing me to my mother. Grabbing only my comfort bag, filled with my favorite snacks and foods I dashed out of the home. I boarded the nearest bus at the nearest bus stop and waited to see where it would take me.

Five years later…
I stood out on the balcony facing the calm ocean seas and breathing in the salty air. Today marks five years since I ran off, changed my identity, and ended up here, at Ocean Shores. I said goodbye to all the places, like my hometown, who made me less than I am, wouldn’t let me blossom and become myself, instead tried to mold me into someone else. I’ve learned to fly in the past years, the freedom is so freeing being able to do what I want without being judged, gaining more self confidence. I was able to find solstice here in this small shore town where it was a tight knit community, but they welcomed me with wide open arms accepting me without a doubt. Then I knew I was ready to try this thing they called life. Although I was trembling terrified, there would always be people there to help me if I just let them in. I’m still fighting off my doubts from that day five years ago, my worries and all the negatives and cons. My mom had acted devastated that I was gone, but we both knew she wasn’t. The media had stopped reporting on my disappearance a few months after it happened, and I stopped caring. I told myself it was worth it, going where I needed to, and to find out my calling. It was all worth it. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, escape from that dreaded isolated town so that I could become who I was today, confident and brave. Still I had my insecurities but every time I did I would repeat back to myself, ‘Don’t forget to breathe,’ and I wouldn’t, it was what kept me going.
–
afterword (not included in word count):
The song I chose was Don't Forget to Breathe by Anson Seabra. I find myself relating to a lot of part of the song as I am still struggling to figure out who I am in life and where I fit in and don't. I actually fount Anson Seabra's songs through a MAP that was hosted by @ceebee. Ceebee hosted a ‘Welcome to Wonderland’ MAP, a song by Anson Seabra and after hearing the song while watching the MAP (which was spectacular!) I went on yt and checked out his songs. His songs were relatable and had chill vibes, I loved them. This is one of my favorite songs written by him which is why I chose it for this daily. It was fun writing realistic fiction for once instead of fantasy. (I did use some actual lyrics from the song within my story, I did modify some of them slightly.)

January 20
Izabella Knobelton // 17 // female (she/her) // (+: optimistic, extroverted) (=: glamourous) (-: gossipy, dumb) pretty much your stereotypical dumb blonde // Blonde, 5'2", flowy, white blouse, light skin, green eyes, lots of jewelry, athletic, wears silver heels, wears jeans

Weekly #4 Pt. 1 1/23/23
word count: 346
points: 500

Work I'm critiquing: The Forest by @TheBibliophile7
–
Hi Reese! This piece of writing is spectacular, it immediately entrances the reader and pulls their attention completely into the story. There's a really good description and adding in the thoughts and doubts of the character just makes the story even more of a spectacle to read.

The description is spectacular and really pulls the reader in. I think a bit more description could be added at certain places. For example, the tombstone, like its shape and maybe its condition as well. As well as the first sentence, what’s creepy about the silence? Does the silence make the character feel weird or have a reaction?

Additionally, I suggest adding some more description to the actions of the character. Like when the character starts panicking and when they are running or tripping as well. Also, I think hinting or foreshadowing the reasons why the character is in the forest would help the story flow even more. I assume you were keeping the story as mysterious as possible to keep the reader wondering but I think it would help the reader’s have some sort of an idea of how this planned out and would be helpful if you ever decide to continue the story, or rather you can leave it on a cliffhanger which I love!

Last thing, I think it would be wonderful if more description were given on the character suddenly not being able to hear anything anymore. I suggest adding more description to the sound at the beginning if the character can still hear during that time, for example the sounds when the character is walking or tripping. This will help the reader to know exactly when the character stops hearing things so it won’t be as sudden.

The story is very well rounded and keeps the reader still wondering beyond the ending. I hope you may write a continuation of this story but if not the story is still beyond amazing when left as a cliffhanger. Hope the suggestions were helpful as well, look forward to seeing what you do next with the story!

Daily 23 - My favorite song is Anymore by Jeon Somi, so I'll be writing about that song.

(WIP)
'Another day at school…' I think as I dreadfully slump down in my chair and sighed. I couldn't think about anything except of him… what happened between me and him? I don't remember when I did something wrong yet he just started hating me for some reason. It sucks even more because everytime I see him I can't stop looking at him, just hoping that I'd cross his mind someday and he'd come back.

January 23 Daily
318/300

Music is a big factor in most of our lives. Today, choose your favourite song and write a 300 word story based on it! You’ll earn 400 points for this daily.

Song: We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together

I push against the door, trapping you out of my apartment. I feel your fists banging on it.

“Let me in!” you plead, still pounding on the door. I sink to the floor, crying silently. “After everything we've been through, we've proven time and time again that we can be together, I know it! We can do this, Iris. We can. After every break up we get back together. We make it work. And we can do it again! I swear, it was just one time! So let me in!”

I shake my head no, although you can't see me.

“No,” I whisper. “No. No. No no no!” With each no, I grew louder. I was now yelling it at the top of my lungs through the door at you. “You always do this! You always cheat! It has never been just one time! Ever!” I growl.

A flashback runs through my head. Of how I always find out he's cheated. He posts about it on his private account on Instagram, one only his friends know what it is. And the girls he cheats on me with. And then his friends who are dating my friends get drunk and talk about it to my friends who talk to me. His friends know he keeps cheating on me. They see his profile. They know. But they only ever spill his secrets when they're drunk.

The first time it wasn't because he cheated on me. It was because he was just too much. I was stressed with exams and finals and I just couldn't handle a relationship right then. So I broke up with him, saying “This is it! I've had enough.” He then told me it was fine, since we hadn't seen each other in a month and he needed space. I cried. I loved him, but I couldn't do it then.

And I can't do it now either.

Word War
3 minutes
Against @dsjlin
won/lost
174 words

I banged my head against the wall, a pounding pain growing. I shrieked. It hurt. I hurt. Everything hurt.

I was lifted into the air, only to be crashed to the ground. Ow ow ow! THat hurt. I loved him, but I really couldn't keep him. ANd now he was angry at me for saying so.

“Please,” i whimpered. “Please stop. Plwae, I'm begging youy, Joseph, stop! Stop stop stop!” I cried. He stsatrd at me with a look of evil in his eyes, a look of happiness on his face. He wouldn't stop. No. He never would. I should have known he was a physcopath. He stared at me with daggers in his eyes, and that's when I knew, I wanted him dead.

Why hadn't I known before, you might ask? Well it's simple. I was in love. I loved Joseph. My love for him got in the way of real emitions and real thoughts. I didn't have my own mind. I was his puppet, his piece in this big game of chess.

Weekly #4 since I can't post it on the weekly thread:

Part 1:

To start, this was a very intriguing story! I love it when the author pulls me in right away so that I won't even have the chance to turn it off. It kept me wondering what would happen next and how it would all come to an end if it did or if it didn't. I usually never enjoy first person point of view, but this was completely different from any other story that I've ever read. Maybe it was a coincidence I don't know, but I am literally writing a story off of Scratch where a crew of astronauts crash land on Neptune. I literally slapped my head and was like “great. Should I change the planet now?” But overall, it was a really fun read! The only problem was that near the end of the story, you changed point of views. It was when the alien came in-and oh my gosh sorry to interrupt, but I added a baby blue faced alien in my story I was just talking about! It's like we were both thinking the same thing!-Where was I? Oh, right. It was when the alien came in and I sort of became confused. The points of view changes like I had mentioned earlier, and the sentences grew shorter. And maybe it was because it was getting close to the end, but when you're writing a story, you need to captivate your writer all the way. Make them think it's /not/ the end just yet. But great twist at the end! I wasn't expecting a piece from the rover to appear in Astoria's pocket! In my honest opinion, you did that well. Also, I love her name! I've never heard of Astoria. It's pretty cool. So thank you so much for sharing your writing with me and I hope to see more in the future!
(310 Words)


Part 2:

Writing piece critiqued: A Very Long Road. I began my revision process on the end of page three all the way to the middle of page 7. Worked with @81AstroBear (397) Words


Part 3:

So, I decided to go for a clock that ticked backwards. I've actually tried to write a short story about something like that but never finished it, so here goes nothing.

Bolded words is the silly twist I added.


A Very Long Road



“Are we there yet?”
“Malachi! We just got in the car and you're starting it already?!”
“Of course he does! It keeps him sane!” Sell said. She shook her head. “Watch. At the first stop light, he's going to do the same thing again. And again and again-”
“Sell don't start!”
“I'm just saying. It's gonna be a long ride.” Sell shrugged and plugged her earbuds in and turned on some music. She danced to herself as she looked out into the foggy wilderness up ahead. It was strange how the fog didn't budge even to the slightest bit of wind. Sell stared out into the endless valley of trees wishing that she could be out there all alone with no one to disturb her. She wouldn't have a single care in the world if she was out there in
the wild running like a wolf. Sell sighed. She knew it was impossible to end up there when her hands were tied to the whole family debacle. What would she have to do to get out there? Sell put the thought in the back of her mind and let herself drown in the music. She turned the volume up to around eighty percent. Sell leaned her head against the window and glanced up at the sky. She closed her eyes only for a few seconds, but then quickly opened them.
“Sell, Sell, Sell! Wake up! Look at the bridge! It's gold!” Malachi shook Sell awake.
“Malachi, get off me!” Sell pushed Malachi off and looked out of the front window and saw the beautiful golden bridge. The sun glittered on the rail and shone back onto the ocean underneath. Sell stared in awe at the miraculous sight. It was truly an amazing sight no matter how many times you passed it.
“Wow. It's so amazing, right? Now picture me on it with my trusty Swittzerpup!”
The bridge had some strange rumors about it which made Sell stare at it more intriguing. It was said that if someone were to stand on top of the railing and look down into the ocean, they would see their own reflection diving into the water without them even jumping off themselves. It gave Sell the chills just thinking about it. Sure she had never tried standing on the bridge's railing, but thinking about it made her mind spin in circles. She turned to Malachi. “You know that bridge is haunted, right?”
Malachi scoffed and threw one of his hands in the air to blow her off. “Pfft. Yeah, right. The only thing haunting about that bridge is that you actually think it's haunted. I mean, come on! Who in their right mind would believe in such garbage? It's literally just a rumor that some guy shared while he was on Television to get attention. And trust me even I say some ridiculous stuff when I'm on the spotlight-”
Sell sighed and ignored the rest of what Malachi had to say. *But could he be right? It is just a rumor, afterall.* She glanced at him, then shook her head and transformed her thoughts into something more entertaining /and/ real. She was about to have the best vacation of her entire seventeen year old life! She even rushed to pack her back earlier that morning because she was so excited. Sell was going to no other than the famous Azalea Marriott. It's this three story tall motel, but it's famous for its endless breakfast buffet as well as its huge indoor pool. Even her dad wouldn't stop talking about how
much pancakes he was going to stack on his plate. He raved about it like Malachi would about fries and ketchup. Sell chuckled to herself. The sign on the motel had this huge clock like the London Clocktower as seen in either Peter Pan or Cinderella. Sell looked at it to check the time. It read 5:43. She glanced at her phone when she heard it vibrate. The time on her phone said 5:45. Sell looked at the Clocktower curiously. She watched it for a minute or so and saw it change to 5:42 right in front of her eyes. “Hey, Malachi-do you see that clock up there by the sign?” She asked.
Malachi looked at the clock as well and stared at it for approximately a minute or so. "I don't see anything out of the ordinary, Sell. I think your mind's gone cuckoo from being in the car too long. First the Golden Bridge, and now the Motel Clocktower?! I mean, come on! Get a grip!
Sell sighed and tried to forget about her hallucination. That's right. She was hallucinating! Not that it was a good thing, per say, but that would explain her peculiar observations of every tiny little thing.
“Hey, quit it, Sell. You're chuckling like an old witch or something and it's giving me the
creeps.” Malachi said.
Sell ignored him and continued to chuckle ever so slightly just to annoy him even more.
“Mom! Sell's being weird!” Malachi shouted.
“Mom! Malachi's being dramatic!” Sell snapped.
“Sell, do not call your brother dramatic!”
“No, but mom he is so annoying!”
“Learn to deal with him. We're almost at the hotel.”
Malachi grinned at Sell.
Sell stuck her tongue out at him like a small child who liked to pick fights on innocent kids. Sell sighed an extremely long exaggerated sigh. It has only been half an hour's trip, yet she was completely lost out of her mind. She laid her head on the window, letting the vibration move her body. Eventually, the car came to a stop and they all got out of the car with their luggage.
Sell jumped out of the car, still with her headphones plugged into her ears. She couldn't believe how many stories this hotel had. She counted them in her head. 1, 2 . . . 3. Okay it was only three, but that was still incredibly taller than any house she had ever seen. Sell pulled her
suitcase out with her and walked into the hotel. Right in the center of the hotel, there was a plate with a clear domed roof and on top of the plate there were oatmeal raisin cookies. The glass dome seemed to have a transparent glow which created a UFO look. Sell opened the dome when everyone went to the front counter. She took a cookie and rolled her suitcase with her to the front counter.
“You will be room number 105. Here is the key. Take the elevator and go to the right once you get up to the second floor. Enjoy your stay.”


~THE END~


(178 Words)

Total words: 885.
I know it's not my 1.5k words as usual, but it was a short weekly with no word limits except for part 1, so…yeah.

jwc fanfiction, NOT FINISHED <3

It's storming outside of the brick house, where a small group of friends are inside. Cozied up on the sofa, rug, or on a pillow are Nat, Amethyst, Reese, and Ender. A three-thousand piece giraffe puzzle lay unattended on a coffee table. Pawns from various board games were strewn on the floor, forgotten.
“I'm boreddd,” sighed Nat. The rest sighed too, listening to the rain pounding, faraway thunder rumbling. A snore was thrown into the mix.
“And I'm hungry,” voiced Reese. “Pizza was supposed to arrive forty-seven seconds ago. Forty-nine, fifty….”
“I'm sure the storm is just delaying it a bit,” said Ender. “Hang in there,” they patted Reese on the shoulder absentmindedly. The steady droning of rain lulled the four friends into their own zone.
Suddenly, lightning clapped and jerked them to reality.
Amethyst sat straight up from their sleeping position, panting. “THERE'S AN LEMON ON THE CROCODILE WAIT-”
Nat gave her but a glance, and the others looked only slightly startled.
“Thank you for the update on the crocodile, Amethyst,” said Reese indifferently. Ender stared into space, nodding.
“It's always a citrus, isn't it?” Ender mumbled.
“But what part of the crocodile is it balancing on, is the question,” Nat added to the thinking pool. She studied a pawn. There was silence for a while again. Then Reese made an exaggerated moan. “When is the-”
Just then, the doorbell rang.
“YES!” Reese hopped off her spot and slid on her socks to the door. The others could hear the door opening but silence afterward.
Ender shifted in her seat. When there were no words to be heard, she said, “Everything all right, Reese?”
“Um…Ender?” Reese called from the door. “This is not the pizza.”
Ender jumped up from the rug and ran to Reese. She stopped still when she reached the door. A box labeled, “THIS SIDE UP. WARNING. DANGEROUS.” “Well this will make our day much more interesting.”
“I could tell you that for free,” Reese replied.
Nat joined their fiasco behind them. She gasped, holding her hands to her mouth. "IT'S FROM ASPEN!“ She hollered and swooped up the box from the porch.
”Wait- how can you tell?“ Asked Ender. ”There's no address.“
”The handwriting,“ said Nat like it was obvious. ”See-“ she pointed at the label. ”It's Aspen's-“
On cue, the blond-haired Aspen popped out from the side.
”Aspen!“ The original friends exclaimed. ”How've you been?“
”Well, well, thank you!“ the girl said enthusiastically back. Another girl popped out from the other side.
”Dawn! So nice to see you.“
A car parked near the curb of their driveway. A girl casually walked out of it.
”Oh…“ the crowd assembled seem to want to disappear. ”Raya.“
”Hey, guys! What's going on?“
”Oh!“ said Reese. ”Um, nothing, nothing, Raya. Why don't you just

✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Amethyst's Word War Journal

✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

1/24/23 - Word War with @shes-a-lady:
I skated faster and faster, nearly tripping on a stick that was sitting on the ice. He was close; so close that I could almost feel his breath on my neck. I knew it was all in fun and games, but there was a competitive edge to me that couldn’t stop taking any kind of challenge seriously.
“You have nowhere to hide, sis!” Marcus hollered at me.
“I sure do!” I shouted back, swerving to the side and causing him to do a double take as he tried to adjust quickly and face the same direction as me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a large bush off to the side of the frozen lake. I quickly skated as fast as I could towards the bush, and hid between the branches.
“Ha! You can’t hide from me!” My brother was approaching.
I needed to think fast. Giggling a little at what I was about to do, I tore my skates off of my feet,
(Lost- 167 words in 3 min)


1/27/23 - Word War with @dsjlin
I sat on the faded rug in front of the oven, glancing at the clock impatiently. My stomach growled loudly.
Wasn’t it done yet? It felt like I had been waiting for hours!
Finally the slim hand of the clock reached its mark. Excitedly, I slipped on an oven mitt and removed the golden loaf of bread from the oven, setting it on the table. It was beautifully molded, the outside all crusty, warm, and crunchy, and the inside warm, soft, and delicate.
I stepped back to admire my work proudly. My mother was the best baker in town, and I would've been ashamed if I couldn’t even make a decent loaf of bread after watching her bake loaf after loaf for my whole life. Wiping my hands on my already incredibly stained apron, I walked over to the counter to grab a knife, and carefully sunk it into the loaf, feeling each layer of dough as the knife reached the bottom. Grinning, I picked up the first slice and held it up to the light. It looked absolutely perfect! Closing my eyes, I sunk my teeth into the warm softness. Mmm… chewy, soft, fluffy, wonderful
(196 words in 4 min)


1/28/23 - Word War with @luna724:
“Kaylaa I can’t get my boot off!” My little sister whined. I sighed, and walked over the puddles of melting snow that were on the doormat to help my six-year-old sibling get her wet snow boot off her foot. “Pull”! I grunted, tugging at it. With much effort, eventually we got it off. Wiping my hands off, I walked over to the kitchen sink, ran my freezing hands under warm water, wiped them on a towel, and got to business. It was hot chocolate time! Our tradition for as long as I could remember- after playing in the snow, sledding, building a snowman, etc. - it was cocoa time! I grabbed a saucepan eagerly and poured in milk, coca, honey, and vanilla, and started whisking it over the hot flames. A few minutes later, it began to bubble slightly and a skin was developing on the top of it. “Catie! Cocoa’s ready!” I called. My sister came
(Lost- 156 words in 3 min)


1/30/23 - Word War with @Froggola
I curled my toes around the edge of the diving board, looking down at the deep waters below in feat. I couldn’t do it, I just couldn't! Even though I had the training and I’d seen it done dozens of times and it seemed easy enough, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I knew it could be done safely, but there was always that nagging feeling of “but is it really safe?” What if I didn’t do it properly, and my flip turned into a terrible accident? What if I hit my head, or broke a bone, or…
Breathe. In and out, in and out. Just breathe! It was okay, I could do this! I told myself. Just jump! That’s all it is! Do it, you’ll feel so proud of yourself after! Taking one more, slow deep breath, I jumped.
While I was in the air, I couldn’t tell what was happening or which way I was facing. I was concentrated on plugging my nose tightly, trying not to fill my lungs with water. I crashed through the surface, remembering suddenly to point my toes, and sank deep into the water. Up! Up! I reminded my
(Lost- 198 words in 3 min)


1/30/23 - Word War with @shes-a-lady:
I pressed my nose against the window, looking out at the beautiful snowflakes. I absolutely love snow. Winter was my favorite time of year. It was so beautiful, like something from a fairytale, something magic.- you could stand in it, play in it, immerse yourself in the beautiful fluffy flakes, feeling the cold softness on your skin. There were so many possibilities when going outside In the snowy weather: I loved building snowpeople with my younger siblings, sledding on our old wooden sled that was made by our grandfather, who was a carpenter, and making snow-angels and other designs in the snowy sheet that covered the grass. There was truly nothing like it- the way it created folds in the white, bright fields that stretched out in front of me. It created the perfect scene for a painting, or a drawing; something to capture the incredible moment. Every bit of it was just pure beauty- the way it fell, landing in the soft
(Lost- 163 words in 3 min)


1/31/23 - Word War with @Froggola
I stirred my spoon around the rich, chocolatey goodness in the pot, feeling it thicken under my spoon as I stirred. Finally when it seemed so thick that It couldn’t get any thicker, I turned off the heat, popped an oven mitt on, carried the pot to the table where I set it down on a potholder, and left it to sit. ONce it was slightly cooler, I brought out the crust-rimmed pie dish and poured the beautiful filling into my homemade crust. It looked beautiful! I smiled with pride. I loved pies, they always brought back so many memories and made me think of the times I used to roll out pie crust with my nonna. Snapping out of my daydreams, I carried the pie to the fridge and closed the door. I glanced up at the clock- eight in the morning. It should be done in time for my papa to wake up and have the pie for breakfast! I grinned at the thought; it had been a hard year for him, and for all of us, and I really wanted to make him happy on his birthday. I was using Mama’s recipe, the one she made every year for Thanksgiving, and I hoped he would really enjoy it. I impatiently watched the hands of the clock tick, waiting for the pie to set enough for me to decorate it with strawberries and cherries. I was planning to make a design
(243 words in 4 min)

Iris_Galaxy wrote:

Weekly #4 since I can't post it on the weekly thread:

Part 1:

To start, this was a very intriguing story! I love it when the author pulls me in right away so that I won't even have the chance to turn it off. It kept me wondering what would happen next and how it would all come to an end if it did or if it didn't. I usually never enjoy first person point of view, but this was completely different from any other story that I've ever read. Maybe it was a coincidence I don't know, but I am literally writing a story off of Scratch where a crew of astronauts crash land on Neptune. I literally slapped my head and was like “great. Should I change the planet now?” But overall, it was a really fun read! The only problem was that near the end of the story, you changed point of views. It was when the alien came in-and oh my gosh sorry to interrupt, but I added a baby blue faced alien in my story I was just talking about! It's like we were both thinking the same thing!-Where was I? Oh, right. It was when the alien came in and I sort of became confused. The points of view changes like I had mentioned earlier, and the sentences grew shorter. And maybe it was because it was getting close to the end, but when you're writing a story, you need to captivate your writer all the way. Make them think it's /not/ the end just yet. But great twist at the end! I wasn't expecting a piece from the rover to appear in Astoria's pocket! In my honest opinion, you did that well. Also, I love her name! I've never heard of Astoria. It's pretty cool. So thank you so much for sharing your writing with me and I hope to see more in the future!
(310 Words)

Actually, I'm Astoria, and since I was writing this in first person, I thought, “Can't I be the main character?”. And yeah, I agree. The alien part was a bit confusing, now that I read it, and I'll try to put more descriptions in the end. Thank you for your advice, @Iris_Galaxy !

Word War
competitor: dsjlin
word count: 172

Stir mix stir mix, I chanted in my head as I dropped the moonlight essence into my potion. This was a new one, supposedly for beauty. Master Salsa had instructed me to make it for one of her customers, usually she didn’t trust me with such things but this time she did. I could not afford to mess this up. This was my only chance to prove to her that I was not as useless or unable to do things as she thought. The spell book said to stir counterclockwise twice then clockwise, I did as told and the cauldron released a small puff of smoke, the colors of silver. I grinned a small sign of victory, exactly as the book told me to do. Next I dropped in three cinnamon sticks, it was for good flavour, the book, the potion could taste bitter and sour to some so cinnamon was to ward off some of that unpleasant taste, and smell as well. Right now the room stunk of rat droppings. Gosh!

Weekly #4
PART ONE:
Critique for @Pinkmouse773, https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/post/6869190/

Wow, I first read through this, and was instantly captivated! I love your writing style; the strategic repetition of certain phrases adds emphasis to different parts and helps keep it interesting. Your descriptions are so vivid, and the picture you painted of the mother was really clear! Your usage of figurative language was great as well.

My first suggestion would be to use some varied vocabulary in certain parts. For example, at the beginning (first two sentences) you say “… its rays danced upon. The rays danced…” And then a bit later, you said “ … to escape my destiny… no escaping your destiny.” I would just double check that you’re changing some of these phrases to help it flow better. It could even be an adjustment from “rays danced upon” to “streams of light touched”, or something along those lines.

Another suggestion is to perhaps clarify who “they” is? You mention them several times; in the last sentence for example, you said, “ then they dragged me away, my body limp in their ice cold grasp” (which, I personally love the description here <3), however you never reveal who its actually referring to. I do understand this could be a stylistic choice, preferring to keep this part a mystery to the reader, though it might make more sense if you add who or what you mean? This, of course, depends on your intended purpose here.

My final note is to just make sure that your storyline is cohesive. Your concept is amazing, however the “dangerous extraterrestrial powers” come as a bit of a shock right at the end, so perhaps find a way to incorporate this earlier in the story? Even if you don’t outright mention that she has powers, just hinting at it could make the revelation a bit less surprising.

Overall, this is really good! Your style is beautiful, and this story concept is so creative! All of the details really shine light on the moods of the story; wonderfully done!!

Proof for the monthly challenge-

Dailies-
https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/post/6904140/
https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/post/6918585/
The rest were done offline or on another website. I can't send pictures of the offline word and I don't think I'm allowed to share screenshots of the other website since the last time I tried doing that I got banned for two days.

Weeklies-
https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/post/6911783/
2nd one is in progress

Word wars-
https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/post/6913311/
other 3- waiting for the person to reply

Fanfiction-
https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/post/6930374/

Sleep cycle- no proof needed