7/20/2022
Prompt: What’s the best way to improve, if not by getting feedback from others? We have such a great community of amazing writers here, so let’s use this opportunity to grow our own writing! Comment a piece of your own writing, an excerpt or short story no more than 800 words that you want critique on. Respond to someone else’s writing with at least 200 words of feedback for 400 points.
Writing by: @WestEndLover15
Word Count: 416

She holds me tight, tears streaming down both of our faces. “It’s alright,” she says. “We’ll be alright.” But it won’t. Nothing can be the same again, no matter how much she wants it to be.
“But it’s my fault!” I burst, my chest heaving. “All of this is because of me!” I sob. If it weren’t for me, she’d still be alive. Janice wouldn’t be weeping - /I/ wouldn’t be weeping. We’d be a happy family.
“It was the monster that took her from us, not you,” Janice whispers softly in my ear. I shudder as she says that word. Monster.

Its clawed hands tear through my mind, its yellow eyes blinding me. Yesterday plays through my mind again and again.

Mother’s petrified face appears in my mind, and I let out a startled cry. /No. Please, no. No./ Her scream pierces my ears. Janice’s panicked face startles me out of my nightmare. She puts her hand to my cheek.

“Ssh, it’s okay,” she says, but I can still see that heartbroken look in her purple eyes. I feel a rush of hatred surge through me - how could the monster have done this? How could it take the one thing we loved more than anything else away from us?
“NO, IT’S NOT!” I shout. “IT ISN’T OKAY, AND IT NEVER WILL BE!”
“Jamie!” She says, her tone growing stronger and angrier. “We lost mother. I - I don’t want to lose you.” she stutters, her voice cracking.
“IT’S MY FAULT!” I shout again. I don’t care what Janice thinks. I don’t care what anyone thinks.

She was trying to protect me. If I had been anywhere else in the world that day, she would still be alive. Janice wouldn’t be crying. I know there’s no point trying to change the past, but yesterday still hurts like a dagger to my chest. Janice opens her mouth, but no words come out.

Instead, a song does.

/“Sleep tight
It’ll be alright
When the morning comes you’ll smile
Forget your woes
My little child

Just sleep.”/

Her sweet, clear voice sends warmth through my veins until my arms tingle. I try to stay awake, but find myself

Slowly…

Falling…

Asleep…

A blanket of darkness covers me, and panic washes over me. I wake up with a start. Next to where I was lying, Janice is snoring gently. I laugh slightly. Maybe - just maybe - I’ll be alright. I know that I am safe with my sister.

I like this piece of writing a lot, It feels like you are actually in the scene. It's very interesting but I think you might need more details. For example, maybe put details of the monster that kept coming into their mind. Was it red or black? Did it look like a dragon? That's one thing that could help. The rest is perfectly fine. It's nice, you tell about how they feel. When you wrote about when the monster took you mom and how you felt that was my favorite part of this whole story. It outstanding you can tell that you took your time writing this. I love how you added what movement/actions they did and how worried they were about their mom. She feels bad and blames everything on her and she felt bad for her sister and her mom. You truly will have to make more stories like this and put the link on my profile, you should probably make another part for this. You added words that can describe stories that some people might not understand. You also gave me ideas that could make me improve on my own writing. You did a great job on this! Thank you!

Writing Competition Entry- Forever Arms
Word Count: 1,949
TW: Ablesim. A scene at the end involves violence and a mention of bl00d.
—————————-
“Excuse me.” She asked to no one in particular.
No answer, just talking.
“Excuse me.” she repeated.
Still talking.

Remember your counting.
1.
2.
3…
Forget it.

Antoinette walked over to one of the chairs, picked it up, and threw it across the room.
The arguing stopped. Two teens, a boy and a girl, looked abruptly at Antoinette and her stoic expression.
“Excuse me.” she said once more. “Is this the Forever Arms Support Group?”
The girl spoke. She was tall and muscular. Her hair was long and blonde with streaks of blue dyed into it. She had a long scar over her right eye. “
Yes.” She responded with an irritated tone. “It is not a chair-throwing club.”

“So I figured.” Antoinette took another look around the room and got up from her seat. “I've seen enough.” She started to walk over to the door when the boy spoke: “Wait!”

He had pale skin, shoulder-length black hair and slanted eyes. “You can't go. The session isn't over.”

Ignoring.

“Oh, come on. Please?” The girl stood up.
Antoinette looked at the door. She looked at the boy and girl. She walked back to her chair reluctantly. “Fine.”

The girl gave a smug smile.
“I'll introduce.” She pointed to the boy. “That's Gavin Nguyen, and I'm Meredith Copperwood.”
Meredith turned to Antoinette and gave her a strained smile. “Why don't you introduce yourself?”
Antoinette put her feet up on her seat and started playing with her curls. “Well, my name's Antoinette.”
“Anything else?”
“Nothing that I'd say to strangers. What do you both do here anyways?”
“We just chat about our lives.”
“And are they interesting?”
“Do unfortunate plights sound fun to you?”
“Why yes, yes they do.
Meredith gave a long, heavy sigh. ”Well, you're going to enjoy yourself here.“

For forty-five minutes, Antoinette minded herself as Gavin and Meredith went on and on about their troubles. She looked around the room, waiting and begging for this session to end, thinking to herself: It's only 45 minutes, it's only 45 minutes, it's only 45 minutes.
”Antoinette?“ asked Meredith. ”Did you hear the alarm? The session is over.“
Antoinette looked up. ”Huh?
Meredith had already started folding up the chairs. She gave Antoinette a disapproving look. “The session. It ended five minutes ago.”
“Oh. Great.” Antoinette got up from her seat and started to walk out of the door when someone stopped her.

“What are you doing here?” She crossed her arms and frowned.
Gavin shuffled himself uncomfortably. “Hi.”
“What are you doing here?
”I have something to tell you.“
”Well, make it quick. I have a home to go to.“
”You look cute.“
”No I don't.“
”Yes, you do.“
”No.“
”Yes.“
”No.“
Gavin stood still, thinking for a moment. Then, his eyes opened wide and he ran out of the room.

Meredith walked over to Antoinette, who was sill staring through the doorway. ”What was that about?“
”Your little friend is a nuisance.“
Meredith frowned. ”You think I don't know that?“ She adjusted her bag. ”So, are you coming back next week?“
”Next week?“
”We meet every week.“
Antoinette sighed. ”It's not like I have any choice.“ She started her way out of the basement. ”See you next week.“
”See you.“
Antoinette walked up the hallway stairs and out of the building, glancing behind her occasionally to see if Meredith was following her or if Gavin dared to call her cute again.
Antoinette sighed to herself. She couldn't believe she'd have to do this again next week.

Seven days came.
Seven days went.

Soon, Antoinette found herself sitting at a fold-up chair, listening to the two talk about lives once again.
”Antoinette, would you like to say something?“ Meredith asked, smiling at her.
”No thank you, Gandhi“ Antoinette glanced at Gavin, who was staring back at her.
”Gavin?“ Meredith said, her smile disappearing. ”Do you have anything to say?“
Gavin looked down at the ground, and back at Antoinette. He opened his mouth to talk, but closed it and looked down at the floor again blushing.
Meredith sucked her cheeks in. ”I'll take that as a no.“

At that moment, the alarm rang. Meredith rose form her seat. ”Session's over. You both can go home; I'll stay here to clean.“
Antoinette and Gavin started to gather their things and leave. Antoinette walked out of the door and outside to the parking lot, where she saw Gavin waiting for her, holding a boutique of roses.

”What do you want?“ she said, plastering a fake smile.
”These are for you.“ He shoved the withering weeds into her hands and stepped back, clenching his fists.
”I love them.“ Antoinette lied.

”My mom says I can invite you for a sleepover.“ Gavin responded. ”But I want to go to the arcade. But she says I need an adult to come with me and she's working. So can you ask your parents to take us?“

Too many words at once.
Her head was spinning.
She didn't know what to say. She looked into Gavin's eyes, noticing how big and blue and innocent they were.
She liked blue.

You're a nuisance.”
His shoulders sagged.
“A good kind of nuisance. I'll go with you.”

Gavin smiled and started flapping his hands happily. “Great! I'll text my mom to tell her.”
“But we'll have to go tomorrow. I have a quiz to study for.”
Gavin's eyes widened. “No, today.”
“Why not tomorrow?”
The boy looked down at the ground, tapping his foot rapidly. He looked quite uncomfortable. “I'm busy.” He concluded.
“Oh.” Antoinette replied, taking out her phone. “I'll call then. I can miss one study session.”
Gavin relaxed a bit, and gave his friend a tight hug. “Thank you.”
Antoinette shuddered. She was already regretting this.


If Antoinette could rate that day from a scale of 1-10, she'd rate it a 10. Surprisingly, Gavin was a decent fellow to be around. Sure, he was a bit awkward and covered his ears a lot, but he had a sense of humor and was less annoying when he was comfortable.

And Gavin? He'd rate it a 9/10. The lights were bright and the sounds were too loud for his comfort but he had Antoinette to help him through.

When the sun started to set and Gavin's mom called to come home, he had only one thing to say: “Antoinette, can I call you Ant from now on?”
Antoinette looked at Gavin and gave him a half-smile,.“Fine”
He started to walk away, before turning his head back. “Oh, and also, can we do this again next week?”
Ant smiled. “Sure, Gavin. Sure.”

And so, it was decided that everyday after support group, Gavin and Ant would go on an outing. It gave Gavin a (girl)friend and a sense of routine.
It gave Ant something to do to get her mind off of her ‘issues’.

Some days they'd walk to the lake. Other times they would take a trip to the fro-yo stand. And occasionally they'd go to the arcade where this whole tradition started in the first place.

During these trips, Ant started to notice more about Gavin. How he talked about lizards so much. How he always answered questions with the bluntest answers. Hoe he didn't like to talk about Fridays. How he probably loved her (and she didn't. Well, at least she thought she didn't) The two were having the time of their lives.

Until one day.

It was cloudy out. Support group had ended. Ant, Meredith and Gavin walked outside together. Ant and Gavin were holding hands.

“Antoinette and Gavin.” Meredith spoke out loud in a blunt voice. “Antoinette and Gavin, being friends. I never thought it'd be a reality.”
Ant squeezed Gavin's hand harder, causing him to shudder.

“Ant? Can we come here tomorrow? I want to ask you something.”
“That's fine.” Ant smiled at her friend, before saying goodbye and starting her way home.

“I'll give you the keys.”
“Huh?” Gavin turned his head to Meredith.
“I'll give you the keys to the basement.” Meredith flipped her hair. “Although, you could always stay outside with your precious insect in the pouring rain.”
Gavin was silent.
“So, Special Ed, what will it be?”
Gavin gulped. “Umm… umm…”
“Hurry up.”
“Keys. I want the keys.”
Meredith smirked. “As I thought.” She walked away, glancing back to see Gavin's melancholy face one last time.

The following morning Ant took a walk over to the Forever Arms HQ. She went downstairs, wondering to herself. What does he want to tell me? What does he want to know?
When Ant went back down to the basement, the door was already wide open. Gavin was there, but he was on the floor and-
“Meredith?” Ant walked further into the room, her grin fading away. “What are you doing?”
Meredith was screaming at Gavin: "You're ruining my life.“

”Meredith.“

”Why can't you just be a normal person? Why can't you see?“
Gavin was crying hard.

”Meredith.“

”We've been doing Forever Arms for three years. Three years. And when someone new comes up you think you can just-"

Remember your counting.
1.
2.
3…
Forget it.

Antoinette picked up that chair, the very same chair she had at that first day, and threw it at Meredith.
Meredith felt the blunt force and collapsed, the chair hitting her forehead. She was unconscious, blood coming out of her temple.

Antoinette ran over to Gavin, who now curled up into a fetal position.
“Gavin, what happened?” She wrapped her arm around his back, still breathing heavily, in shock from what she had seen.

Stammering.

“Gavin?” Antoinette shook him a little. “Gavin, what did she do to you?”
“I- I- I..”

Meredith was slowly recovering from her fall. Her eyes started to blink and she turned her head towards the two slowly.
“Come on, Gavin.” Antoinette urged. “We're getting you out of here.”
Somehow, in some way, she was able to drag Gavin out of the basement. She slowly goaded him up the stairs and got him through the doorway.
The two made it out of the corridor and into the pouring rain. Gavin collapsed on the floor, still crying, still in some sort of crisis.

There was uncertainty. Antoinette didn't know what to do. Meredith could be coming up any minute and-

Remember your counting.
1.
2.
3.

Antoinette knelt down to Gavin. She looked into his deep blue eyes, his little dimples, the tears streaming down his face.
And she kissed him.

Gavin went silent.
Antoinette went rigid.
The rain kept pouring, but the world seemed to stop.
There was still uncertainty.

He looked up at her. “Did you kiss me?”
“Yes.” Antoinette replied.
The two both got up from the ground. They were drenched with rain water.
“I don't like being wet.” said Gavin.
“I know.” said Antoinette.
“Meredith scares me.” he added on. “She teaches me to be ‘normal’, but I can't.”
“We won't be going there anymore.” Antoinette grabbed Gavin's hand and together, the two walked away. They didn't have anywhere in mind to go, but at that moment, anyplace would be better than Forever Arms.

The rain cleared out. Gavin looked up, and he saw the sun peeking through the clouds. Finally getting to shine.
Antoinette was still walking. He stopped where he was.
She looked back at him. “Aren't you coming?”
He shook his head. “I never got to ask you.”
She walked back to him. “Ask me what?” She had completely for gotten why she came in the first place.

“Antoinette, do you love me?”

The sun had broken out.
The clouds were gone.
There was no hesitation.
And time had started again.

“I do, Gavin. I do.”

Cabin Wars
Merged Fairy Tales: Cinderella and the Golden Goose (1,103 words)

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Ella. Her mother and father were both dead, so she lived in a palace with her stepsisters and her step-mother.
Unfortunately, they weren't the nicest.
“Mop the floors!” one would yell.
“Where's my dress? I need my dress ironed!” Another demanded.
“Cinderella, we need dinner to be made!” Another would cry out.

Ella's family always called her Cinderella, since she was always covered with cinders and ashes. They'd tease her and harass her. But Cinderella was always compliant. She never argued back or threatened them. But she was sad. Very, very sad.

One day, Cinderella's sisters clomped ito the room, chattering like monkeys in a cage.
“Now, now, girls.” stepmother said calmly. “What's going on?”
“We've gotten an invitation!” cheered Anastasia the first stepsister.
“To the ball!” the second one, Margaret, added.
“There'll be treats!”
“And dancing!”
“And romanceee…” The two girls sighed, frolicking around the room.

Cinderella was mopping the floor that they were dancing on. ‘Please keep the noise down.“ she whispered.
”Stop being so loud.“ said Anastasia.
”Mother,“ Margaret whined, covering her ears. ”Cinderella is hurting my ears.“
”Cinderella.“ Stepmother walked to her. ”Stop irritating your sisters.“
”But Mother-“
”That’s stepmother to you.“ Stepmother kicked her daughter. ”Now, get to the mopping. And afterwards help your sisters pick out their dresses. They're growing quite impatient.“
”Stepmother, can I go?“
”Go where?“
”To the ball. Please..?“ Cinderella looked at her mother and tried to give out an innocent smile.
”No.“
”But.. why?“
”Because I said so!“ Stepmother swiped her head and glared at her daughter.

Tears started to form in Cinderella's eyes. No, she couldn't take this anymore. She threw her mop onto the floor and started to stomp out of the house.
”And where do you think you're going?“
”I'd go anywhere if it was away from you!“ Cinderella cried. She slammed the door and started to run. Where she was going? She didn't know, but it was going to be far, far away from that wretched place.

Now, in order to progress the story, we must go to a different household and follow the story of Samuel (Simpleton) and his brothers. Samuel's brothers were taller, more handsome and more muscular than Simpleton. The three boys all worked for the family buisness, and one day, they were sent out to complete a delivery. The deliveries would start early, so the boys were given a small cake and a canteen full of water to eat along the way.
An old man was sitting outside. He was poor and hungry.
As the first brother passed by, he asked: ”May I have a piece of cake and a sip of water?“
”Nope.“ the brother said.
The second brother came by after the first had left. ”Can you spare some cake and water?“ the man asked.
”Of course not.“ The second brother scoffed and walked off.

By the time Simpleton had come along the poor man was starving to the point of his ribs showing. With the last breath he had, he pleaded: ”Oh, please. Please may I have some cake or some water? I have already been denied twice.“
”Of course.“ Simpleton handed the poor man all of his cake and let him have two sips of water.

The old man gained his energy almost immediately. He sprung to his feet after drinking and eating for the first time in weeks. ”Oh, thank you!“ He exclaimed. ”And as an award for your selflessness, I will give you a golden goose!“ The man rummaged through his bag and took out a fully-grown goose with golden feathers and the deepest eyes.
Simpleton was too shocked to speak. His mouth dropped wide open.
”You may do whatever you want with her.“ The man handed the goose to Simpleton. ”And thank you, once again.“
Simpleton bowed to the old man. ”Thank you, sir.“ And he ran off, with the golden goose in his hands.

And now we return to Cinderella, who herself is running away from her stepfamily. Naturally, as Simpleton is also running, the two re expected to
CRASH!
Cinderella collapsed to the floor, her shoe coming off in the process. Simpleton fell, the golden goose somehow still staying in his hands.
Simpleton groaned and sat himself up. ”I'm so sorry.“ he said, rubbing his eye. ”I'm nothing but a clumsy bud.“
”No, I'm sorry.“ Cinderella replied. ‘I was in too much of a tizzy to notice you coming.” She looked at the goose, and her eyes widened.
“Is that a golden goose?”
Simpleton looked to his hands. “Oh, yes. I got it as a gift.”
“My step-mother would never let me keep that.” Cinderella said, looking down to the ground. “Neither would my sisters.”

“Simpleton frowned. ”Now that I think about it, my brothers would just steal this goose from me.“
”Can’t you hide it?“
”No, I'm much too small and weak to find a good spot.“ He frowned sadly. ”I guess I'll need to find somebody to give it too.“
Cinderella looked away. As much as she felt bad for him, she'd get a kick out of taking the goose. Maybe she could trade it for something herself.

”May I have it?“ she finally responded, extending her arms out.
Simpleton hesitated. ‘I just met you.”
“I can trade you for something else?”
“What could you possibly have to trade?”
“A date to the Ball.”
Simpleton’s eyes widened. “You're kidding.”
“My sisters are going.” She pointed to the palace, which stuck out from the huge trees.
“Are you sure the'll accept me?”
“Anastasia and Margaret are so love-sick that they'd date a stick if they had too.”
Simpleton laughed. “Then, you've got a deal.” They both got up and Simpleton handed the golden goose over to Cinderella. The two walked back to Cinderella's palace.
Stepmother answered the door. “What are you doing here?” she said blatantly. “I thought you had left for good.”
“Just wanted to drop off my goodbye present.” Cinderella smiled, and shoved Simpleton into the house. “Tell the girls that I found a date for them.”
Cinderella left without saying goodbye, but she did wave to Simpleton one last time.
She walked over to the shop, and traded the golden goose for a golden, fluffy dress and a crown.

And the story goes on. Cinderella decided to go the ball. She fell in love with the prince and they ended up getting married. Cinderella lived her life in riches, the sisters started to fight over Simpleton, Stepmother became a empty nester and they all (at least Cinderella) lived happily ever after.
The end.

Cabin Wars:
Hansel, Gretel and LIesi (A Rewritten Version of the Fairy Tale)
1,621 words (including title and notes)

Once upon a time, in a small woodland cottage, there lived two little children named Hansel and Gretel, who lived with their father and his wife. The family was very poor, and since a famine had recently broken out, they were starving as well.
“Let the children go.” the wife would tell the woodcutter. “Their absence will give us more food to eat.”
But every time, he'd say no.
Until one day, when the wife was so hungry, she was starting to get sick. Hunched at her back, throwing up, she stammered some words: “Get rid of the children.”

The man would do anything for his wife, so he led Hansel and Gretel to an abandoned part of the woods and ran away as fast as he could.
“Where are we?” asked Gretel, looking around the woods.

“I'm not sure.” Hansel replied. He was picking up a few pebbles from the floor. “We should go back and find Father.”
And so, Hansel and Gretel tried to locate their home, but to no avail. It had started to get dark, and so the two siblings were forced to camp out for the night.
When they had finally awoke, Hansel started to complain: “Gretel, I'm getting hungry.”
“Aren't we all?” Gretel lay flat on her back, looking up at the sky. “I just wish we could have something to eat. There is no food source in these woods.”
“Man, imagine of we had a giant house full of nothing but food.” Hansel added on, grinning to himself. “That would be amazing.”

“Food, you are looking for?” Hansel and Gretel turned around and came face-to-face with an old witch.
“I have heard your plight,” she began. “And I will help you. My home is full of all sorts of food.”
Gretel frowned. “Where is the proof?”
“That, is the proof!” The old witch stepped back and revealed a giant candy house. The house was made out of soft, buttered gingerbread. It had frosting for its roof, bushes and other plant life made out of peppermint, and lamps made out of lemon drops. The children's mouths drooled just seeing it.

“And that's just the outside.” The witch smiled smugly. “So, will you come with me.”
“Yep!” Hansel nodded happily.
“Uh…” Gretel muttered.
Hansel looked at his sister and back at the witch. “We'll be right back.” He pushed his sister aside.
“Come on, Gretel!” Hansel pleaded. “That house will give us enough candy to last us a lifetime.”
“But what if something happens?” Gretel asked.
“If anything happens, we have each other.”
“It is better if I stay. You can gather food for us.”
“You're right.” He took out his pebbles and placed them in a circle. “We'll meet up here tomorrow and feast.”
Gretel gave Hansel one last hug. “Good luck.”

Hansel nodded and started to walk to the house with the witch. Gretel watched her brother go one last time, a tear forming in her eye. He may have been a nuisance sometimes, but she loved him. She took a deep breath, gathered some more pebbles to guide her, and walked along, dropping the pebbles as she went.

The following day, Gretel ran over to the meeting spot, ecstatic for the meal she was about to indulge in. But no one was there. She looked around and decided that Hansel was simply late and that there was nothing to worry about.
She waited.
And waited.
And waited.

But Hansel never came. Hansel always kept his promises. There was something wrong. Something bad had happened to him.
Gretel smelled something weird. She lifted her head up and smelled the odor of human flesh blowing in the wind.

Hansel was dead.
The witch had killed him.

Gretel looked at the circle of pebbles and back at the house. It couldn't be true. Hansel was still alive, he had to be. But the witch was near, and she couldn't stay any longer.

Gretel ran. She ran away from the meeting spot. She ran a long, long way. She ran until her legs gave out and she collapsed from exhaustion. She started to sob. Hansel was dead. Her only brother, the only member of her family that truly cared for her, was gone forever.

Ten years past. Gretel moved into a deeper part of the woods, with more food and more animals She set up a home for herself and learned to live in nature. Hansel was still dead. The witch still had her house, and the famine had ended.

Hansel and Gretel's father was depressed. Ever since he had abandoned his children, he had never truly been happy, and neither had his wife. Sure, they had had another child, a baby girl named Liesi, but nobody would ever fill the void that Hansel and Gretel had.

One day, Liesi went over to her dad. “Daddy?” she asked. “Can we play?”
“Not now, Liesi.” her father replied.
So, she went over to her mother. “Mummy, can we play together?”
“Can't you see I'm doing the washing?” the mother replied.
So Liesi decided to go exploring out in the woods. She packed her favorite doll, some cookies her mother had made, a warm sweater and went on her way.
Liesi went deep in the woods. She went deeper than she had desired too. She went deep into the woods, where the most food and animals were thriving, and a certain girl was sitting around.
Gretel was now an adult and had grown taller. Her hair had grown so long that it now reached her kneecaps. She had many small scars on her body, from her arms to her legs. But, other than those changes, she looked exactly the same.
“Hello.” Liesi said, walking towards Gretel.
Gretel turned around and smiled. “A little girl. Hello, what brings you over here?”
“My name is Liesi. I'm looking for a playmate, but I can't find one.”
“I know what you mean. I get lonely sometimes, too.”

“Aren't we all?” Liesi sighed. Gretel's eyes widened. Liesi's voice sounded like hers when she was a kid. She looked deeper into Liesi's eyes. They were green, like hers. And she smelled something so delicious coming from the bag.
“What do you have in there?” she asked curiously.
“A packet of cookies my mother made.”
“They smell… so familiar…” Gretel's eyes widened. “That's it.”
“What's it?”
Gretel kneeled down to Liesi's level. “My name is Gretel. And I think I'm your sister.”

Liesi was good at directions. So good, in fact, that she remembered the exact coordination of where the house as.
Gretel wasn't happy to go back, but she had to set things straight with her parents. She had a plan. She wasn't going to let Liesi endure the same fate she had.

Gretel knocked on the door and was answered by her mother. “Oh, Liesi! You've got to stop wandering around so mu-” She looked up and came face-to-face with Gretel for the first time in years. She noticed that face- who else could it be?

“Gretel.” She touched her daughter's head. “You're alive.” She ran inside. “Harold, come quick! Gretel's back!”
Liesi looked at Gretel. “How long has it been since they've seen you?”
“Years.” Gretel looked off into the distance.

Harold walked outside and almost collapsed at the sight of her. He ran over to hug her. “Gretel! Oh, Gretel I'm so sorry. Where's Hansel?”

Gretel frowned. “Parents like you don't deserve to know what they did to their kids.”
Harold stepped back. “Gretel, it was a famine. We were going to die. We were-”
“Were? Were? Hansel was kidnapped and smoked to death because of you selfish bigots!” Gretel yelled.
Mother gasped and put a hand to her heart. Harold stepped back.
“You let Liesi run away like that. Sooner or later, she'll get kidnapped and become an angel!”
“It was an accident-”
“Excuses, excuses.' Gretel picked up Liesi and started marching on. ”Where are you going?“ Mother demanded. ”Give us back our daughter!“
”No. I'm not letting you abandon her like you did to me.“

”Mommy…“ Liesi whined and tried to wriggle free. ”I want my mommy and daddy.“
Gretel looked back at her parents and to Liesi. She sighed sadly. ”I know you're upset. We'll come and visit, but you will be safer with me.“
Liesi took one last look at her parents and then to Gretel. ”Okay." she whispered.
Gretel gave a sad smile to her sister and walked off. All her parents could do was stare. How could a simple descion impact them for the long run.

Gretel and Liesi moved to the woods. They lived long, happy lives. And as for their parents? They had another kid and made the same mistake they did years before of abandoning him in the woods due to a famine. He led the witch over to their house, where all three were tempted and killed. Gretel and Liesi, however, lived happily ever after.

The end.

Notes:
This was originally going to be another Merged Fairy Tales edition, with the Princess and the Pea. However, I got a new, better idea and used that instead.
Gretel's mother was originally going to die due to the famine.
In this version of the fairy tale, Hansel and Gretel are eight when they are tempted by the witch. I don't imagine them as being twins, just having a small age difference, Hansel being the eldest of the two. That would make Gretel around 18 when she met Liesi. Liesi is six at the time of the story.
Gretel's mother's real name is Grizelda. I imagine Gretel's name was based off if it.

Daily #17 (7-24-22)
Prompt:
In life, our perception of the world comes from the five senses: seeing, hearing, touch, taste, and smell. Using these is what helps to bring our writing to life! Write a descriptive poem that incorporates at least four of the senses in a minimum of 100 words to earn 200 points.
Word Count: 292

A pie, it lies in Grandma's kitchen
It smells of mango puree
It had been prepared by old Mr. Sares
And was going to be eaten today

And me and my friends, from tall to short
All lined up in a row
We could see the delicious treat
And the drool in our mouth did grow

Yes, Grandma was a famous one
She was taller than a tree
With the perfect sense of humor
And a weird connection to bees

We could hear her walking in
Her heels clacking loudly
We needed to be polite and dirt-free
So she'd feed us her morsel proudly

And Grandma came in, taking a look
When she did decide to laugh
When I heard the giggle that came out of her mouth
I thought it was the yowl of a cat

(Grandma always taught us to be honest, no matter how brutal it is. I will not be breaking that rule today.)

“Why look at you rascals!” She started to smile
Her golden tooth gleaming in the sun.
“You really do want a taste of my pie
So let's make the party fun!”

And Grandma, wow, she picked up her pie
The odor going through my head
She leaned over and let us all touch
The crust
It felt like a warm, cozy bed.

And then, surprise! Wowee! Woohoo!
Grandma did the unexpected and then,
She shoved the pie, yes shoved the pie
Into my little head

I tasted the mango, I tasted the pie
I tasted the spicy cinnamon
I licked away the bits of puree
And indulged in my predicament

For Grandma was a good one
And she'd always have the key.
For all the things she did for me
Grandma, rest in peace.

Weekly #4 (7-24-22)
Link to Project
PATHS TAKEN: 9-3, 5-4, 7-4, 6-4, 102-3, 1-3, 2-1, 4-2, 3-3, 82-1 | SABOTAGE RESULTS: 1- F, 3- F, 6- S;4- F, 7- F, 8- S;2- S;9- S;5- S | ENDING: neutral
Proof: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/718211875/
Save Code: 102;6;3;2;/9-3/5-4/7-4/6-4/102-3/;1364;0;0;25789;4;001001000;
Word Count: 2,982


Emiko Norris sat cross-legged at the top of the oak tree. As she watched the other kids playing a fierce game of tennis, she sighed sadly. Why can't I be like them? she thought to herself. Why can't I just be normal?

Emiko was eleven years old but looked like she was around eight. She was born premature and was never able to catch up with the rest of her peers. Also, for some reason, Emiko had big fox ears that stuck out over her hair. They didn't do anything special, however they did make her the prime target for middle-school bullies.


Emiko looked down further sadly, her ears drooping and swaying softly through the wind. This moment of peace was interrupted, when a tennis ball came flying up towards Emiko. The ball hit her head, and soon, the poor girl was free-falling to the ground.

One of the kids playing, a red-haired girl with box-shaped glasses, jumped at the sound of Emiko's thud. She turned her head and was horrified to discover a little girl flat on her face with scrapes on her feet. “Oh, my God!” She dropped her racket and ran over to her. “Guys, I think she's dead!”
All the kids ran towards Emiko, who was starting to regain her consciousness. She slowly turned a head towards the red-haired girl, her nose dripping out blood. “Where am I..?” she started to say.
“She's alive!” A kid cheered.
“Wait, isn't she that cat girl?” One said, glancing at Emiko's eyes.
“Cat girl? Who's the cat girl?” Emiko replied, starting to sit back up.
“No, she's a fox.”
“Who's a fox?”
All the kids stared at her. “Fox girl? You don't remember about your ears?”

Emiko looked up to see her two ears, bruised and bleeding from the fall. Her eyes widened in wonder, and she looked around to see everyone else. She was the only one who had them.
Emiko smiled. “I have fox ears.” she smiled. “Now, where have I seen you people?
”I think she's lost her memory.“ Red-haired said, sighing.

A small batch of kids picked up Emiko and carried her over to a nearby bench. As she lay down, she looked around and smiled at all of her new friends. ”Are you my friends?“ she said happily.

No one spoke. They all looked towards each other, not knowing what to say.
”Well… I guess we are now.“ Red-haired replied, wincing.
The rest of the kids looked at her in awe.
”Great!“ Emiko smiled, but then she remembered something. A small jolt of memory came back and she remembered the girl who she was before: a shy, small fox-eared girl who just wanted to play with the other kids A girl who just wanted to belong. She closed her eyes and shook her head, the memory disappearing as fast as it appeared.

”Are you alright?“ Red-haired asked.
Emiko nodded slowly. ‘'I’ll be okay. Just had a headache.”
Red-haired extended her hand out and shook Emiko's hand. “Well, you're welcome to our group. I'm Sammie.” She pointed to the others. “That's Eric Jean, Eric Bean, and Ivy. I think you'll fit well in our group, right guys?”
“…”
“/Right/, guys?”
The three kids nodded their heads and gave out clearly fake smiles.

For the next few minutes, Emiko was taken care of.
Sammie gave her a bottle of cold water.
Eric Bean gave her half of his PB&J sandwich.
Eric Jean gave her his old, heavy sweater.
Ivy gave her a stuffed bunny to hold.

Emiko sat with all of her stuff, grinning.
“You guys are the best new friends ever.”
“And you are the best new fox-girl ever!” Eric said.

At that moment, Emiko's head started to hurt.
She felt a memory coming back to her.
This time, it was taking place in Emiko's old kindergarten.
She sat, as short as ever, cross-legged on the floor.
She was reading her favorite book, when someone came up.
He had long blonde hair and the greenest of eyes.
He snatched the book out of her hands.
“Ha, what is this?” He dangled the book around.
“Stop it, Eric.” Emiko said, getting up to get her book back.
Eric danced around the room, holding the book.
“Eric, give it back!” The poor girl cried.
“La, la la, la.. I'm a poor, lil' fox-girl.”
“ERIC!” Emiko stomped her foot. “Give it bac-”

The memory stopped. Emiko stared right in the face of Eric Bean. This time, it was more vivid, the memory. “School.” she started to say. “school. Kindergarten. You bullied me.”

Eric Bean bit his lip and winced. “Give me a break. I was only six.”
“You bullied me.” Emiko stood up from the bench and grabbed the stuffed bunny. “I'm not going to be friends with a bully.” She ran away from the group.“

Emiko stroked the bunny as she ran. She was going to be friends with Sammie and Eric Jean and Ivy but not Eric Bean. Eric Bean was mean. He bullied her. He-

Another memory. it was on a field this time. A class field trip to the farm. The teachers were lining up all the children and walking them to the farm to meet the animals. But they forgot Emiko.
She sat on the ground, plucking the grass. The grass was soft and warm. It calmed her down.
And then she saw a bunny.
It didn't come close to her. In fact, it was very far away. But Emiko looked into its eyes and smiled, because something about it was familiar. But she wasn't able to remember what.

The memory ended, but it was still planted deep, raw into her brain. Emiko clutched her stuffed bunny harder. Her breath started to become rapid and shallow. She was shaking all over.

Emiko was scared.

She got onto the floor, rocking from side to side. What if they would leave her again? What if they would bully her? What if she could never remember the bunny? What if her bunny left her? She needed her bunny.
She squeezed the bunny so hard, its left eye popped out. The eye rolled down the grass and into a nearby puddle.
Emiko looked down at her bunny. It was ruined. Everything was ruined. What was happening? Her memories were coming back. They were too much.

She threw her bunny down on the grass. The bunny had one eye, oft, white fur and a generous smile. She stepped on it in a panic: ”Ruined!“ she screamed. ‘It’s ruined!” Emiko threw the bunny down the hill. It rolled towards the puddle, but did not fall in. Emiko ran down the hill and to the small body of water. She picked up the bunny and looked into its eye one last time. “It- it's all ruined.”
She shoved the toy into the puddle, watching it become slowly soaked and eventually, compeletely gone from her eyesight.

Emiko got into a fetal position and started to cry. She did not want to be left alone again, but at the same time, she did. She didn't know what she wanted anymore.
“emiko!” Ivy came running up to her. She knelt down next to the poor girl. “What happened? We've been looking everywhere for you.”
Emiko's ears drooped. “i don't want to talk about it.”
“Why not?” Ivy nudged Emiko with her elbow. “We're you're friends. You can tell us anything.”
“I don't want to /talk/ about it.”
Ivy gave out a sigh. “You've got to stop being like this, Emiko. That's why nobody wanted to be your friend when-”

Emiko couldn't hear anything Ivy said after that. Because another memory had come back to her.
It was at the same kindergarten at the same scene with the boy andn her book. but instead, Emiko had been biting on her foot. The boy was screaming. The teacher came and-

Emiko felt a sharp pain on her face.
“Snap out of it.” Ivy stood up. “You know what? You're hopeless.” She started to walk away, but not before-
Ivy screamed.
Emiko was on her ankle, biting down fiercly.
“Get off- get off me!” Ivy tried to shake her off, but the pain was unbereable.
She collapsed on the floor and rolled down to the puddle. There was a deep cut on her ankle. Before she could speak, Emiko had ran off.
—
Running.
That was all I could do.
I ran as fast as I could, away from Ivy. I couldn't like her either. Ivy was mean, like Eric Bean was.
I had two friend then: Eric Jean and Sammie.
But what of they weren't friends? What if they were my enemies and bullies. I didn't know what to do.
Then I saw it.
The tree. It was tall and thin. It had a few stray branches coming out from the middle. It had black spots all over but the tree was white.
I started to crawl up on it. The tree felt familiar. Trees kept me safe. I did not remember why. I just knew that they did.
I climbed up until I saw the branch. I grabbed on to it. I looked down. I was so high in the air. Maybe I was going to fall. Would anyone care if I fell? I'm not so sure?
Then, I saw Ivy.
Ivy's ankle was still red from my bite. She was limping over to me. “I may not like you.” she started to say. “But I need to get you back to the court. So we can bring you home or whatever.”
“My parents don't love me.” I said.
“They had come to the court looking for you.” Ivy said.
“They don't love me.”
“This is getting ridiculous.” Ivy started to shake the tree. “Get down from there.” she said.
I sank my claws into the branch. “No.” I said.
“Get down from there, you filthy animal.” Ivy said.
“No.” I said again.
“Ugh!” Ivy stomped her foot. “Get! Down! From! That! Dumb! Old! Tree!”
“No.” I said one last time. “I'm going to stay here forever.”
Ivy limped away.
I stayed on the tree. “I'm not coming down.” I said one last time.
“Never.” I closed my eyes.
–
When Emiko opened her eyes, she had woken up in a cozy bed with all of her toys by her side. She got up and looked around. This wasn't what she had dreamed about.
The room was completely normal, like things were supposed to be in her world. There was a small box of toy dolls to the side of her closet. Emiko did mot have fox ears. And she was still lonely as ever.
“It was just a dream.” she said to herself in her monotone voice. “It was just a dream.”
But it did not feel like a dream. It felt real. Emiko knew the dream she had was not a normal one. She looked out through the window, but there were no kids playing tennis outside. She felt her head for some weird growth one last time. But there was nothing there. It really was all just a dream.
“I never bit Ivy on her ankle.” Emiko said to herself, pacing around the room. “I never ran away. My memories were all fake.” Emiko sat on the carpeted floor of her room and gave out a sad, little sigh. “My whole entire new life was a dream.”

Emiko walked downstairs, not even bothering to prep herself up in the mirror. Nobody was downstairs. Not her parents, not her grandma, not even Sammie the puppy was there. She opened the fridge and got out a packet of ketchup, labeled with the word “Mortuusequusphobia'. The bottle had a picture of an angel on it.

”The fear of ketchup.“ Emiko got out a bowl and squirted the ketchup inside of it. She was not allowed to cook food by herself. ”This will do good until Mother wakes up.“ Emiko tapped her head and frowned. Still no ears.
The ketchup was not satsisfying. Emiko's stomach still pleaded with her to be fed properly.
She looked in the pantry. There was an old apple, a slip of paper with the word, ‘explosion’ on it, a small string, and three dirty paper towels. Emiko closed it. She tapped her head. No ears.

Emiko groaned out of frustration.

She got out her book, a pencil and a rope. She walked outside of the house and to the tennis court. She needed to investigate.
It was a hot day outside. There were no kids playing or cheering. Emiko was all alone.
She sat on the court and started to write. ”Once upon a time, there was a little girl who thought she had fox ears. But it was all just one of her stupid dreams.“ Emiko stopped. She dropped her pencil and picked it up again. ”She thought she was very weird because the other children called her ‘Special Eddy’ all the time.“

The book suddenly shut and fell to the nearby ground.
Suddenly, a girl who almost directly resembled Emiko flowed out of the book. She had fox ears, like Emiko had in her dream.
”Hello, Emiko.“ it spoke.
”Helllo.“ Emiko said to the hologram. ”Did I write you up again?“
”Yes. I see you are thinking about dreams again.“
”I just don't get it, Okime. It felt so real.“
”Dreams do tend to feel that way. The other night, I had a weird dream about turning into a banana.“
”But this isn't like a banana dream, Okime. This dream felt real.“ Emiko stood up and started to pace. ‘I can’t even think about why I can't figure it out because I'm so hungry.”
“Write about a sandwich.”
Emiko shook her head sadly. “It would just feed you. The notebook can only create hologramics.”
“Well, why don't you just go home?”
“i don't feel like it.”
Okime sighed. “You sure are upset.”
“I am!” Emiko threw her hands up. “I can't see how this whole story of my life just twisted.”
“Sometimes,” Okime started to say. “The imaginations and problems we have feel like realities, and they take advantage of our whole lives in general. It seems this has started to happen to you.”
Emiko nodded her head.
'The only way to fix this is to accept the life you live in. We may not always be able to change it to our will, but we can affect it in little ways.“
”Really?“
”Yes. You can write your story as you write in your notebook. Although it always changes, it can still be written.“
Emiko looked to her side and saw some kids playing tennis. Maybe she'd go over to them. She picked up her book, thanked Okime and started on her way.

”Hey.“ She said, walking over.
The kids looked over to her. ”Who are you?“ the first kid asked. He had red hair.
”I'm Emiko Norris. I live on the third house on Sulley Street. my parents, my grandma and my puppy live there too.“
”Okay…?“ The child looked to his side. ”Well, see you later.“
”Wait!“ Emiko grabbed his hand. ”i'm trying to write out my story.“
”Yeah, and so?“
”So, I need you to be one of my friends.“
The boy just stared at her.
”Please? This is urgent.“
The boy sighed, and rubbed his temples. ”I guess I could be a part of it.'
Emiko grinned. “Can you get your other friends here too?”
“They wouldn't come for an outcaster like you.”
“But I need them.” Emiko stomped her foot. She was acting fussy. Her parents wouldn't like that. But she was also trying to prove Okime's point that she could write out her own story.
“Look, just buzz off bout it, okay? I'll play your roles if you need me too.”
Emiko took him by the hand and dragged him off to a nearby tree. “I'm going to fall off that tree.” She said to him, pointing towards the large oak. “You're going to come over to me and take care of me. I'm going to pretend that I've lost my memory.”
“Wait, what?” The boy shook his head.
“You heard me.”
“I thought you were just goung to write a simple story, or a simple play. Not act it out in real life!”
but Emiko had already started climbing up the tree. “get ready!”
“No, Emiko. You can't do this.”

She kept climbing. “Who's stopping me?”
The boy thought to himself. He took a breath and started climbing up the tree.
“Wait- you're not supposed to come up here!”
“Well, I am.” He kept on climbing.
“I'm supposed to fall down. Who is going to catch me?”
“If you come down from the tree, then I'll go down too. But I'm not going to let you die.”
“Who said I would die? I didn't die in my dream?”
“What dream are you talking about..?”
“I had a dream about me having fox ears and losing my memory and going crazy and a hologram came and told me to write my own story back.”
“Okay, I get it with the hologram, but fox-ears? You're kidding me?” The boy jumped back down from the tree. “You're becoming pathetic, Emiko.”
Emiko ignored the boy and kept climbing. She was almost there.
“Pathetic.” The boy cupped his mouth and started to yell out. “You're pathetic, Emiko.”
She kept ignoring, until she reached the top of the tree. Emiko got on the bark and looked down. “Throw a tennis ball at me!”
“No.”
“Why not? You promised.”
“No.”
“Oh, come on.”
“Whatever weird dream you had,” the boy started. “you need to just move on from it. Just go with the flow and stop doing this.”
“I'm staying here.” Emiko insisted. “I'm staying here and you can't do anything to stop it.”
The boy sighed and left.
Emiko was left alone.

Daily #18 (7-25-22)
Prompt: Cabins are one of the most important parts of SWC - and thanks to the amazing leaders and co-leaders, all fifteen have unique themes reflecting the genre. In most cabins, you’ll see an introduction at the top of the studio description establishing this theme! Now, it’s your turn - come up with a theme for any SWC cabin (real or conceptual!) and write an intro for it. Your intro should be at least 100 words but fewer than 200 words for 400 points.
Word Count: 168

You are walking down the street on your way back home, after a day of eating mangoes and strumming guitars, when you spot a poster hanging on a lamppost. It shows a picture of a girl and has some writing on it: MISSING: SANA. CALL THE NUMBER TO HELP THE MISSION TO FIND HER.

You cock your head and decide to look into the program. You rip out a phone number and put it in your pocket, walking home. After reviewing your resume and acting as proper as possible during the phone call, you are accepted into the program and are asked to make yourself present the following day.
The next day, you wait outside for the bus to pick you up, but are instead greeted by a group of leaders wearing black suits and serious faces. “Are you ___________?” One of them asked. You nodded shyly.
The leaders smiled. One of them typed on their tablet and changed the bus into a limo. “Then, welcome to Sci-Fi, partner.”

Thank-You Messages (610 words)

Here are all my thank-yous for this session!

First of all, I obviously need to thank the leaders of Sci-Fi: Alyelle, Mech, Zai, and Kenna. You guys did an amazing job leading the cabin this session. You truly worked to make writing in this cabin a fun experience. Although we didn't save Sana, we definitely gathered some fun memories along the way. Even with the restrictions and challenges that came along the way, all four of you still showed resilience and leadership. I hope I manage to find you guys as leaders again for another session.

Now, onto the campers:
Laurel: Although we didn't chat much, you have a great sense of humor and did a great job encouraging us during the session.

Celes, Astra, Phoenix, Claire, more people I'm probably missing lol: You guys helped our cabin SO much with all the writing you did. Thank you for that

Luna- I'm pretty sure you were one of our backups (sorry if i'm wrong ^^), but you still contributed so much to our cabin. You did a great job here for your first session

All the other Sci-Fi campers: You guys were great friends and so supportive. I wish I'd got to interact with you all more, you all seem like such nice people.

Real-Fi and all breakers of the Sci-Fi roof: Okay, so technically, all the other cabins are hostile neutral so thanking them would be against the rules (/j). BUT, thank you for breaking our roof. Seriously, you did a big favor for us. You brought us natural light so we could feel encouraged to save Sana. And you guys are just hilarious to be around.
Honorable mention to @PaigeTurnerE for the roleplay session we had around the beginning. I'm starting to wish us and Real-Fi were allies ;-;

All the other campers and leaders: What can I say that I haven't already? You guys were funny, caring and the greatest writers. Leaders, you did am superb job with your cabins. Honorable mention goes to Mythology. As I write this, you guys are in first place! Don't expect this to last long, though. Sci-Fi will hack your win away when the results come out >

The daily team: Okay, you guys created EPIC dailies and weeklies this session. The newspaper and Among Us weeklies are probably going down as part of my favorites in all the times I've participated. The Magic 8-Ball, SWC fanfics, and Mango Day dailies were special too.

Judges: This was my first time writing for the competition! I know grading and officially making results will be hard, but you've got this! Can't wait for the results to come out.

Mango: Yes, we must thank the almighty mango for being the unofficial beacon of SWC. Mango is love. Mango is life. Mango is Mango.

People of the past: Quick thank-you to the people who hosted and participated in SWC in the past. You guys truly helped expand the camp.

Birdi and Robin: Finally, I need to thank Birdi and Robin, who hosted this session. Words cannot express all of the work that you two put into this one. And the work payed off. This was probably the most productive and fun session I've had for SWC. Please know that the sacrifices you make and the work you do has payed off immensely. I, and so many other people, will always appreciate them.

And that is all the thanks that I have to offer. If I didn't mention you directly, I apologize in advance and still hope you received my gratitude. I hope you all will be back next November for more writing, more mangoes and more fun!