ahh, I love this!

i- you wrote a whole entire MaStErPeICe-

IYX1646818 wrote:

✧˖° table of contents ~ chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5

(the reason this chapter came so quickly after the previous one is because i had already written a few chapters before i decided to share any of it hehe :>)

♫ chapter 2

Ash leads us to a castle, which looks as though it is made of crystals! Before I can say a word about how amazing it is, Ash motions for us to follow her inside. She brings us to the throne room, smiles, and then heads off.
“Hello there.” a regal voice says.
Stella and I turn around to see an elf queen, who is wearing a long, white, cloak with gold embellishments on it. This must be the leader that Ash was talking about!
“Oh… um… hello! Ash led us here, but we’re no-” I say before the queen cuts me off.
“Yes, yes, I know. I am Queen Galena.” She smiles. “There’s a reason that portal brought you here. At the moment, our world… is not at its best.”
“Not at its best?” Stella replies. “Is there anything we can do to help?”
The queen nods. “That’s why we brought you here.” She takes a deep breath. “You see, each elf inhabitant of this world has an elemental power: earth, fire, water, air, ice, and light. Oh, and darkness and crystal, but only evil elves possess the power of darkness, and every single evil elf known has been banished to the shadow lands, and only I have crystal powers since I’m the ruler. Light beats darkness, and the vast amount of light elves here helped defeat the evil elves. Anyway, back to the problem we’ve currently been facing. Not long ago, I found out that the magic scepter that contains all of the elemental powers (excluding darkness), also known as the Scepter of Harmony has gone missing! This scepter is the source of our elf world’s power, and it keeps the elves in harmony (as its name suggests). But ever since it went missing, powers have gotten weaker and elves haven’t been getting along as well as they normally do. You won’t be able to go home before you find the scepter, as the portal will only open when it is back in the castle.”
The queen sighs, as she continues to explain, “I need you two to help me find this scepter and bring it back. It has to be you two, and you two specifically who goes on this quest to find the Scepter of Harmony.”
Stella and I exchange worried but determined looks. “Of course, Queen Galena. But is there a reason why you are choosing Stella and I specifically to go on this quest?” I say.
“It’s a long story. Oh! And I almost forgot! You two need to manifest powers before doing anything. All you have to do is concentrate as hard as you possibly can, and try to shoot something out of your hands. Earth elves will shoot out vines, fire elves will shoot out balls of fire, water elves will shoot out torrents of water, air elves will shoot out strong gusts of wind, ice elves will shoot out shards of ice, and light elves will shoot out beams of light. Make sure to stand far away from each other and go one at a time, because if you two have opposing elemental powers, you could risk getting hurt. Even if you don’t, we still don’t want to risk it.” She looks at us. “Who wants to go first?”
“Ooh! Me! Me! Me!!” Stella exclaims excitedly.
“Alright, you may go first. And what is your name, if I may ask?” the queen replies.
“My name’s Stella.”
“Nice to meet you Stella!” the queen smiles and motions for me to move away from Stella for safety.
Stella closes her eyes and starts to concentrate. I watch her closely to see what happens. A few seconds later, a sudden blast of light comes from her hands, and once it dies down, Stella nearly collapses onto the floor from the exhausting concentration.
“What power did I get? I was concentrating so hard I couldn’t quite tell!” Stella says.
“You got light powers. Light beats darkness. Since we have separate living spaces for each element, you will be staying in the Light Tower with the other light elves. Great job manifesting! It’s your turn now, Kayla,” the queen says as she turns to look at me.
“O-Okay,” I say, shaky.
I shut my eyes and concentrate. Shoot something out of your hands. I think to myself. After a few minutes of hard concentration, a wall of water suddenly appears around me, blocking me from everything else. I scream in panic, and the wall goes down as a strong blast of water shoots from my hands, spraying the castle walls with water. The water blasts die down, and I fall to the ground, out of breath after what just happened.
“Well, I guess it’s obvious what your elemental power is,” the queen says with a giggle. “I’ve never seen that happen before with manifesting… that was truly incredible right there, Kayla. I don’t know how you did it! Your powers must be incredibly strong…”
I shake my head and open my eyes. “Huh? Wh-What happened?”
“What happened? That’s what you’re thinking after all that?! You were doing the exact same thing as me, concentrating on manifesting an ability, when suddenly this enormous wall of water appeared around you! Then it fell down and you blasted these incredibly strong torrents of water at the wall, and now they’re sopping wet! It was so cool…” Stella says to me, amazed.
I'm a water elf then, I suppose. But how come I was so much more powerful than Stella? How did that happen? I don’t even know how I did it!
“Since I can clarify that you’re a water elf now, after your amazing manifestation, you’ll be living underwater, with the other water elves. It might feel a little different at first, but you’ll get used to it. Don’t worry about the scepter right now, it’s definitely not your first priority at the moment. Besides, we have plenty of time! Ash probably told you how one year here is only one second in your world. Just take the rest of the day to relax, alright? You’ve both had a rough day. Get some rest,” the queen says, as two elves walk in.
“Hey Stella! I’m Alina, a light elf (just like you!), and I’ll be showing you the way to the Light Tower, our living area. C’mon!” one of the elves says.
Stella grins, and heads off with Alina.
The other elf steps forward and smiles as she says, “You’re Kayla, right? My name’s Marina, and just like you, I’m a water elf! I heard you had some pretty powerful water powers when manifesting. Anyway, I’ll be taking you underwater, where the living area of the water elves lies!”
I smile wearily at her and follow her to the water elf quarters, where my near future awaits.

if you see any grammatical or spelling errors, please let me know! critiques and feedback are also welcome c:

ack I love this chapter :'00

✧˖° table of contents ~ chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5

(the reason this chapter came so quickly after the previous one is because i had already written a few chapters before i decided to share any of it hehe :>)

♫ chapter 3

Marina takes me to a beach with sparkling ocean water and soft sand. She hands me a necklace, which has a small shell charm hanging from it.
“This will allow you to transform into a creature that can breathe underwater,” she explains. “When activated, it will glow, and then you must jump into the water and the transformation will start. All you have to do to activate it is hold it to your heart and concentrate. And to turn back into a land elf again, just do the same thing underwater and get on shore for the transformation back into a land elf.”
“Okay,” I say as I put the necklace on and hold it to my heart, concentrating. A few seconds later, the shell on the necklace glows brightly. Marina nods, as she activates hers and jumps into the water with me.
Once we’re in the water, my previously dull medium brown hair is turned into glowing, long, wavy hair, and my normal human/elf breathing is turned into fish breathing, as water elves have the ability to breathe underwater.
“Woah!” I exclaim, shocked by the transformation. “I can breathe perfectly underwater just like a fish! And my hair is so flowy… This is so cool!”
Marina grins, as she leads me to a glass orb about the size of a large bedroom. It’s completely glass, except for one part which I’m guessing is the bathroom.
“This will be your bedroom. You’ll be sleeping here and staying here for the majority of the time you’re in the Underwater Lands,” Marina says, as she opens the door to inside the orb bedroom. “The walls are glass, so you can see the outside ocean whenever you’d like. Even though none of the sea creatures will hurt you, we still want to give you some privacy by enclosing you in this glass room.”
I peek into the room, and see a large bed with ombre blue blankets and starfish pillows on it, a small bathroom with a toilet, sink, and shower which are all ocean themed, a pretty decent-sized table with a bunch of stationery on it, and a large blue bean bag seat in the corner that looks incredibly comfy.
“Ooh,” I say.
Marina smiles, and replies, “The dining area is where you’ll be having meals, so if you’re ever hungry, just head out of this orb, and follow that line of coral.” She points to the coral outside of the room.
“Great!” I say.
“Oh! And I almost forgot!” Marina says as she opens the door and motions for something to come in. “This is Sea. He’ll be your little companion while you’re here. Every water elf has one, and yours just happens to be an adorable little baby dolphin.”
“Aww, hi Sea,” I coo, as I pet the adorable little creature.
The little dolphin clicks back in joy.
“Well, I guess that’s it! You can write letters to your friend, Stella, if you want, since you unfortunately don’t have any other way of communication.”
“Okay.”
Marina smiles and leaves, gently closing the glass door behind her.
I look around the glass room, locking my eyes on the large bed in the center. I swim over to it, get on it, and lie there, watching the swimming sea creatures outside the glass wall making up the ceiling. Sea swims over to me and I gently pet him in delight.
Even though the queen did say we had plenty of time and we should just take the rest of the day to relax, I’m still constantly thinking of possible places that the Scepter of Harmony could be. But I know I have to discuss this with Stella, so I swim over to the table, grab a sheet of waterproof water elf paper, and start writing Stella a letter. About a half hour later, I’m finished writing. I roll the piece of paper up, tie a ribbon around it, and go outside to see if any elf is willing to let me know how I can send this letter.
Right after I close the door, I bump into another elf.
“Oh! Sorry. I didn’t see you there!” I say, apologetic.
“Nah, it’s no big deal. I’m Aqua! Are you new here? I’ve never seen you around before. Oh! And who is this adorable little fellow?” the elf replies, pointing at Sea.
I giggle as I reply, “This is Sea, my baby dolphin companion. And yes, I’m new here. Do you have any idea how I can send this letter?”
“You’re in luck! One out of ten elves who are born with powers get a special ability: letter sending. And I just happen to have that ability! Who/where are you sending this letter to?” he replies.
“Oh, that’s great, thanks! I’m sending this to my friend at the Light Tower.”
“Alright! Can you hand me the letter so I can send it?”
I hand him the letter, as I reply, “Yep.”
He closes his eyes, concentrating, as a strong blue light shoots up and out from his hands, shooting the letter up with it. Once the light dies down, Aqua opens his eyes again and says, “Sent!”
“Thank you!” I say, smiling.
“No problem! The letter should arrive in a few seconds at your friend’s place,” he replies as he swims off.
I head back into my room and get back on my bed to continue thinking, as I snuggle Sea in beside me.

if you see any grammar or spelling errors, please let me know! critiques and feedback are also welcome c:

Ooh cool! I like this chapter too :3

ahh this is rly goodd

nice!

this chapter is awesome!

ok so critique…. well first of all I love it! you're a really tallented writer and your story concept is amazing! however i'd really like it if you'd create some more atmosphere and talk about how the person is feeling in their minds rather than them saying it out loud. i'd love to see more description in your settings and for you to really create this worlds in our mind's eye. other than that, just keep writing!you're doing great

Airfairy934 wrote:

ok so critique…. well first of all I love it! you're a really tallented writer and your story concept is amazing! however i'd really like it if you'd create some more atmosphere and talk about how the person is feeling in their minds rather than them saying it out loud. i'd love to see more description in your settings and for you to really create this worlds in our mind's eye. other than that, just keep writing!you're doing great

oo ok thank you

This is an incredible plot! Nice work
Critique / feedback:
In chapter one, when it says, "'Hi Stella! How was your first day of middle school? Oh! You brought a guest! Here, have some cookies,' she says as she holds out a tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies for us. We thanked her, grabbed a few cookies, and then went up to Stella’s room." Who is talking / acting? Stella's mom? Sister? Dog??? /j It's just a little confusing, because we don't know who is talking.
That's about it! (as far as I can see) )
Can't wait for more!
(NGL though, it sounds a lot like Keeper of the Lost Cities (Alina, elves, manifesting)) <—– you just made my day with this <3

Mallowmelt_4eva wrote:

This is an incredible plot! Nice work
Critique / feedback:
In chapter one, when it says, "'Hi Stella! How was your first day of middle school? Oh! You brought a guest! Here, have some cookies,' she says as she holds out a tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies for us. We thanked her, grabbed a few cookies, and then went up to Stella’s room." Who is talking / acting? Stella's mom? Sister? Dog??? /j It's just a little confusing, because we don't know who is talking.
That's about it! (as far as I can see) )
Can't wait for more!
(NGL though, it sounds a lot like Keeper of the Lost Cities (Alina, elves, manifesting)) <—– you just made my day with this <3

oo ok thanks :> // lol