Sorry to contimue the endless stream of critisism, but my english teacher did this to me and it really helped me so here goes nothing

The sound that started it all has echoed through the entire street. I could see in that brief second everyone else at their windows, lights off, staring to see what happens. The ticking of my clock continues as sparks are obscured by snow, and a black cat boldly marches its way out into the street with no cars left to threaten it. It just about blended into the night around it without any lamps left to illuminate. I continue to wait. Snow continues to fall, the cat hasn’t come back yet. Crickets continue to chirp, the cat hasn’t come back yet. The clock reads 3:00 AM. Not too long after, the silence IS once again broken as a painfully loud clash bursts through the street on both sides. It sounded like rusted metal, the gates! I jumped up in a heartbeat as I expected to see salvation. I leaned in closer to the window anticipating the idea of coming out alive to tell my story, I heard another sound join the metallic grinding of the gate swinging back and forth, moaning. No… I backed up becoming more tense. My heartbeat was like a drum, going faster, and faster, and faster. In the other windows I could see blinds dropping like stage curtains one after another. The moan continued on. The dark blue street faded to a familiar purple as something came in from the right side.





A lot of your sentences and phrases start the same way, which makes it sort of choppy sounding, if you catch my drift.

minor grammar error (omg grammar nazi me)

I leaned in closer to the window anticipating the idea of coming out alive to tell my story, I heard another sound join the metallic grinding of the gate swinging back and forth, moaning.

Did you mean to use a semicolon there or a period? Seems like a run-on to me.