Chapter One. Please edit this, I want this to be the best on scratch.

(Introduction) Ab'yadth flew in the sky making sure there was no one coming to her territory where her tribe spent their whole lives: thriving, fighting, attaching prey, and making sure the sick was alright. She spotted a wolf not far away from her camp seeking the little hatchlings about to pounce. Shocked, she dove down wards to the wolf and firing a fire ball in front of the wolf and it fled back towards its cave where it slept. I'm so greatful that we can breathe fire and they can't she thought. Ab'yadth flew down and swirled into the camp and landed square on her claw-like paws.
She started to walk and spoke to some other dragons that was in the air with her, “This is my tribe, the tribe of white furies. We are none like those of the black furies, but we are legendary and we don't not back down from a fight. No matter what happens we'll pull through our troubles, and win. This is the leaders cave, where both leaders sleep in. This is the deputy's cave. The fighters, hunters, med. dragon, and the hatchlings.” She said to two loners. Ab'yadth stood up on her back legs and looked around and saw her friend; Afrsiku, Ab'yadth's mate flying down greeting her with love rubbing his head on hers. Comforted by her mate she said, “How's hunting?” Asked Ab'yadth. “The hunting out there is great! There is like ten herds of yak out there, also…come closer.” He looked around and then continued, “There is someone outside our borders that wants to meet you.” He said in a whisper.
She was now confused that some other dragon wanted to meet her. She opened her wings ready to take flight, but Afrsiku put a paw on her shoulder and sad, “If this is a raid on you I'll be flying above.” Afrsiku said comfortingly. She then flew n the air and found a dragon walking in a circle looking up in the air and expecting someone. Another white fury? It kinda looks like me…but why? She asked herself with confusion.

okay! there are some problems with this
first and foremost:
this (Ab'yadth flew in the sky making sure there was no one coming to her territory where her tribe spent their whole lives: thriving, fighting, attaching prey, and making sure the sick was alright.) is not a good sentence. it tells the reader too much too quickly and too bluntly
Ab'yadth flew over her tribe's territory, making sure there were no trespassers. (and explain the ‘whole lives’ thing in another sentence, somewhere else.)
you have a lot of sentences that are like this.
also:
your punctuation & grammar need work
(Shocked, she dove down wards to the wolf and firing a fire ball in front of the wolf and it fled back towards its cave where it slept.)
could be turned into
(Shocked, she dove down towards the wolf and fired a jet of flame at it, sending it fleeing back to its cave.)

but there are some things you did right
the names
I really like the names you gave the characters here, they're original

and now, the proofread version

Eyolf2013 wrote:

Chapter One. Please edit this, I want this to be the best on scratch.

(Introduction)
Ab'yadth flew over her tribe's territory, making sure there were no trespassers. She spotted a wolf, not far away from her camp, stalking the hatchlings. Shocked, she dove down towards the wolf and fired a jet of flame at it, sending it fleeing back to its cave. “I'm so grateful that we can breathe fire and they can't,” she thought. Ab'yadth flew down into the camp and landed on her clawed paws. She started to walk and spoke to some other dragons that were in the air above her. “This is my tribe, the tribe of white furies. We are not like the black furies; we are legendary and we don't back down from a fight. No matter what happens we'll pull through our troubles and come out on top.

”This is the leaders cave, where both of our leaders sleep. This is the deputy's cave. The fighters, hunters, med. dragon, and the hatchlings,“ she said to the two loners, showing them around the camp. Ab'yadth stood up on her back legs and saw her mate Afrsiku, flying down. He greeted her by rubbing his head on hers. Comforted by her mate, she asked, ”How's hunting?“
”The hunting out there is great! There are ten herds of yak out there, but…come closer.“ He looked around and then continued in a whisper, ”There is someone outside our borders that wants to meet you.“
She was confused that some other dragon wanted to meet her. She opened her wings to take flight, but Afrsiku put a paw on her shoulder and said, ”If this is an ambush, I'll be flying above.“ She flew in the air and found a dragon walking in a circle, looking up in the air. ”Another white fury? It kinda looks like me…but why?" She asked herself.

Okay then…thanks. I really appreciate it. This is awesome editing! I'd love it if you were my editor!


Chapter One. Please edit this, I want this to be the best on scratch.

(Introduction)
Ab'yadth flew over her tribe's territory, making sure there were no trespassers. She spotted a wolf, not far away from her camp, stalking the hatchlings. Shocked, she dove down towards the wolf and fired a jet of flame at it, sending it fleeing back to its cave. “I'm so grateful that we can breathe fire and they can't,” she thought. Ab'yadth flew down into the camp and landed on her clawed paws. She started to walk and spoke to some other dragons that were in the air above her. “This is my tribe, the tribe of white furies. We are not like the black furies; we are legendary and we don't back down from a fight. No matter what happens we'll pull through our troubles and come out on top.

”This is the leaders cave, where both of our leaders sleep. This is the deputy's cave. The fighters, hunters, med. dragon, and the hatchlings,“ she said to the two loners, showing them around the camp. Ab'yadth stood up on her back legs and saw her mate Afrsiku, flying down. He greeted her by rubbing his head on hers. Comforted by her mate, she asked, ”How's hunting?“
”The hunting out there is great! There are ten herds of yak out there, but…come closer.“ He looked around and then continued in a whisper, ”There is someone outside our borders that wants to meet you.“
She was confused that some other dragon wanted to meet her. She opened her wings to take flight, but Afrsiku put a paw on her shoulder and said, ”If this is an ambush, I'll be flying above.“ She flew in the air and found a dragon walking in a circle, looking up in the air. ”Another white fury? It kinda looks like me…but why?" She asked herself.

I'd love it if you were my editor!


Chapter One. Please edit this, I want this to be the best on scratch.

(Introduction)
Ab'yadth flew over her tribe's territory, making sure there were no trespassers. She spotted a wolf, not far away from her camp, stalking the hatchlings. Shocked, she dove down towards the wolf and fired a jet of flame at it, sending it fleeing back to its cave. “I'm so grateful that we can breathe fire and they can't,” she thought. Ab'yadth flew down into the camp and landed on her clawed paws. She started to walk and spoke to some other dragons that were in the air above her. “This is my tribe, the tribe of white furies. We are not like the black furies; we are legendary and we don't back down from a fight. No matter what happens we'll pull through our troubles and come out on top.

”This is the leaders cave, where both of our leaders sleep. This is the deputy's cave. The fighters, hunters, med. dragon, and the hatchlings,“ she said to the two loners, showing them around the camp. Ab'yadth stood up on her back legs and saw her mate Afrsiku, flying down. He greeted her by rubbing his head on hers. Comforted by her mate, she asked, ”How's hunting?“
”The hunting out there is great! There are ten herds of yak out there, but…come closer.“ He looked around and then continued in a whisper, ”There is someone outside our borders that wants to meet you.“
She was confused that some other dragon wanted to meet her. She opened her wings to take flight, but Afrsiku put a paw on her shoulder and said, ”If this is an ambush, I'll be flying above.“ She flew in the air and found a dragon walking in a circle, looking up in the air. ”Another white fury? It kinda looks like me…but why?“ She asked herself.
Ab'yadth dove down landing right in front of the look-a-like dragon of herself, walking around her ready to strike, if the dragon attacked her, or any other dragon. She then raised her head up to sense the air if there was anyone in the bushes, no one was in the bushes. Ab'yadth looked at the dragon look-a-like, then spoke, ”Who are you?" She asked it. The dragon didn't speak, it looked like it was thinking of an answer.

Eyolf2013 wrote:

I'd love it if you were my editor!


Chapter One. Please edit this, I want this to be the best on scratch.

(Introduction)
Ab'yadth flew over her tribe's territory, making sure there were no trespassers. She spotted a wolf, not far away from her camp, stalking the hatchlings. Shocked, she dove down towards the wolf and fired a jet of flame at it, sending it fleeing back to its cave. “I'm so grateful that we can breathe fire and they can't,” she thought. Ab'yadth flew down into the camp and landed on her clawed paws. She started to walk and spoke to some other dragons that were in the air above her. “This is my tribe, the tribe of white furies. We are not like the black furies; we are legendary and we don't back down from a fight. No matter what happens we'll pull through our troubles and come out on top.

”This is the leaders cave, where both of our leaders sleep. This is the deputy's cave. The fighters, hunters, med. dragon, and the hatchlings,“ she said to the two loners, showing them around the camp. Ab'yadth stood up on her back legs and saw her mate Afrsiku, flying down. He greeted her by rubbing his head on hers. Comforted by her mate, she asked, ”How's hunting?“
”The hunting out there is great! There are ten herds of yak out there, but…come closer.“ He looked around and then continued in a whisper, ”There is someone outside our borders that wants to meet you.“
She was confused that some other dragon wanted to meet her. She opened her wings to take flight, but Afrsiku put a paw on her shoulder and said, ”If this is an ambush, I'll be flying above.“ She flew in the air and found a dragon walking in a circle, looking up in the air. ”Another white fury? It kinda looks like me…but why?“ She asked herself.
Ab'yadth dove down landing right in front of the look-a-like dragon of herself, walking around her ready to strike, if the dragon attacked her, or any other dragon. She then raised her head up to sense the air if there was anyone in the bushes, no one was in the bushes. Ab'yadth looked at the dragon look-a-like, then spoke, ”Who are you?" She asked it. The dragon didn't speak, it looked like it was thinking of an answer.

some tips:
• rather than look-a-like, use doppelganger, and use the word sparingly
• you don't need to repeat phrases for emphasis “look-a-like dragon of herself”
• are there any other dragons around? no. so why is Ab'yadth concerned about their safety?
• don't say “(subj.)then.” just say what happens next, and the reader will infer that it happens progressively
• ‘then spoke, “Who are you?” She asked it.’ The ‘then spoke’ is actually ok here, but you need to put a period after spoke and omit the ‘she asked it.’
or… omit the “then spoke” and leave the ‘she asked it’ but un-capitalize the S.
• ‘The dragon didn’t speak, it looked like it was thinking of an answer.' you could use a semicolon here ‘didn’t speak; it looked' or… you could use a period, but because they're both complete sentences, you can't use a comma in between them.

Oh okay! Thanks I really need your help now! You're the best. Also, yeah this'll really be a book, or something…

Ab'yadth is concerned about their safety, because she had a bad experience in the past, and there was a very bad war going on with all the fury tribes, so that's why she's concerned about their safety!

Eyolf2013 wrote:

Ab'yadth is concerned about their safety, because she had a bad experience in the past, and there was a very bad war going on with all the fury tribes, so that's why she's concerned about their safety!

but there are no other dragons around…and that's not explained or implied in the story.

Well, that will be showed a while later in the story! So yeah…that's why!