I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS! THEY HAD GREEN SLIME CUPS ON THEIR HEADS! THE 5G TOWERS ARE UFOS IN DISGUISE! THEY ARE GAY ALIENS! THE WAVES! THE 5G TOWER WAVES ARE TAKING OVER YOUR BRAIN!

THE ALIENS, THEY PEE OUT THEIR FINGERS. THEY PROBED MY NOSE AND TOOK MY DOG! I'M TELLIN' YA' I SEEN EM! THE DAMN ALIENS PEE OUT THEIR FINGERS! THE 5G WAVES ARE KILLING YOUR BRAIN CELLS! I SWEAR IT!