Editing takes time and practice. Sometimes it is as simple as a word or two, while other times it is a whole chapter.

Don't worry, though. In this weekly, we're going to practice some editing, and you'll have a partner to help you!


NOTE: Please do no post in this forum, thank you! <3



❑ Part 1.

Choose a writing you have, whether it's from this session or from a while ago. Post a comment in the main cabin and ask for a partner. You'll be reading each other's writing and giving some constructive criticism. Give each other your initial opinion of it, what they did well, and what they could improve. Be honest but be kind.

Your critique post should be 300 words minimum to count.



Here's an example:

Original Writing: https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/post/5937455/



Critique of the story:

First off, this is such a cool story! Magic and elves, and a sense of adventure. Also a flashback/prequel given in bits from Rowan's thoughts. That was really well done!

I think that some of the information was given a little bit quickly, though, as if in passing. For example, when you said that the library had been run by Rowan's father, I wasn't exactly sure what made that important yet. I know that you probably have something you didn't tell the audience, but it did make me wonder how Rowan's father fit into the story.

Also, I might suggest that you give a little more questioning thoughts from Rowan, when you say that he understands that he has been given the Earth's power. Does he wonder why he was chosen? What he can do with his powers? Where the Darksoul would be? Or does he know all of these things by reading so much about Zia? That would make sense, if that was the case. It's just that I thought Rowan may have a little more of a pause after getting the power to take it all in.

Still, no matter what I said here that you could change, there are so many amazing things in this writing that outweigh them! It has such an epic premise that can hook anyone. You really should consider continuing the story! Good job <3

Credit: Original Writing by @school4girlsad , Critique by @school4girlhd

❑ Part 2.

So now you know what your partner thinks. :) Try to take some of their advice and edit your story so that it feels like it's improved to you.

You must spend at least 45 minutes on this, (even if you're just thinking about what to edit during part of the time.) There must be a noticeable difference in your edit, not just a few words different. ^^



Here's an example:

We were trapped, like little mice, to hide here for the rest of our days. Stuck in one little village. The elders had created a magical barrier a couple thousand years ago around our small village, which was really secluded out here in the birchwood. I slid my finger along the rough spine of a gold-covered book. I was the Keeper of the Library, and probably the only one who still had an affinity towards it. The other elves lived in fear…fear of the Darksoul. I understood the fear; in my favorite book of all time, a legend died at his hands. Her name was Zia. I pulled back the drapes of the stretching glass windows, ready to let the sunlight in. My predecessor had always left this place cold and uninviting…pretty much like him. My father had hated caring for this library but to me? It was like my home. I stared out the window at my people as they bustled down the streets. Their colorful tunics brightened the street as they collected food for the harvest. I ached for change. As much as I adored this library, full of stories of adventures,…I wanted to live my own. I put my hand on the glass, seeing my reflection in it. Fair skin, amber eyes, and short and messy dark curls. That is who I had become…a man, trapped and forgotten. My gaze drifted across the space. The stretching spiral staircase which led up to the second story was just about as lonesome as I was. Picking up a lit candlestick, I rounded up the staircase. There was something I had to know…

How had Zia wounded the Darksoul? Legends always seemed to lack that one important detail. The smell of the books' leather was constant as my hand slid up the banister. I gently lowered the candlestick onto a table and scanned over the books.

“The legend of…” I trailed off, my gaze landing on a book that had stitchwork of the sun.

The book was lightweight and the pages were quality paper. The scrollwork was immaculately done, and more recently too. As elves, we lived for hundreds of years. But I knew that this was written before the barrier, which meant that it could only be about 200 years old, a blink in time, compared to our usual lifetime of 1,500. As my eyes trailed over the words, the chime of the clock downstairs rang, reminding me of the hour (or multiple) that passed as I read through it. I had heard this story a thousand times. Zia's story was used to create fear in our young…not hope as it always did for me. Hope that we wouldn't have to hide from him anymore. We were connected to the earth…we should be the ones to save the humans and ourselves. Finally, I noticed that I flipped to a page that I didn't recognize. I started to absorb the words, but a wave of dizziness crashed over me, and I tried to steady myself by grabbing onto the bookshelf. But to no avail. The book fell from my hands, and I dropped to my knees.
“Rowan… You have been chosen as the next champion,” I heard a silky voice say.

Images flashed in my head of the earth dying. One by one, images of forests shriveling and the oceans being depleted filled my mind as if I was right there, watching. I felt my heart drum in my ears, overwhelmed by all of this destruction. As the Darksoul continued to take the magic from the elves and now from the humans, he was draining the earth's magic from them. Suddenly, the images slowed, and my mind showed me the image of the Darksoul and his haunting cloaked figure. The goldwood forest, I whispered, shocked. His red eyes, bored into the eyes of another…a girl elf. Her face held desperation as if she was in pain.

“Please,” she whispered, gripping the grass.

Then, she yanked the amulet from his neck. She fell to the earth, her soul raptured into his amulet that she gripped in her hand. My breathing hitched, as I realized that this was Zia. I was watching her story. But…then I saw that the Darksoul started to gasp, his face changing shape. He was starting to die…his features becoming more deathly. Desperately, he dove for the amulet and clamped it back around his neck. His features started to return back to their original shape, but he seemed different…

My eyes shot open, panting, still on the floor in the Library. That was the missing piece! She had wounded him by taking his amulet, I thought. I grabbed the book and stood to my feet, holding onto the bookshelf to steady myself. In shock, my eyes widened as colors started to swirl around me. What was this? I backed up, against a bookshelf, uncertain. A rush surged through me, and I felt magic course through my veins…stronger magic than I had ever felt within me. The earth was giving me its energy, I realized. The colors stopped, and I flexed my hand for a second. I felt different…more alive. Running my hand through my curls, I stared at the book in my hand.

“No way…” I chuckled, amazed by the idea. The earth had just chosen me to go on a quest, a reaI quest to save the earth. I jogged back down the stairs, my heart racing in my ears in anticipation. I clutched the book to my chest as I ran down the forest path, past the village houses. My feet pounded the earth, and I inhaled deeply, enjoying the new feeling of connection to the elements. I skidded to a stop before the barrier, its blue shimmering form apparent. I now had more magic than even the elders of my people which meant that with a snap of my fingers, I could walk through the barrier. And this was what I had always dreamed of. But I still had questions… I glanced back at my home. Maybe I wouldn't ever have all the answers, I realized. I inhaled a breath, steadying my thoughts. I put my hand through the barrier, feeling the tingling force of my powers against it. I would save the earth, I decided. And one day, I would write my own legend.

“Rowan the Bold,” I laughed under my breath as I escaped the barrier and brushed back a tree branch, “Will be the Darksoul's undoing.”

Credit: Made by @school4girlsad

❑ Part 3.

Now that you've edited it based on your partners advice and your evaluation, make a silly version of the writing!


Choose one of the things below to add to your writing:

• A platypus that can sing

• A book that can't stay still

• A bird with an eye patch

• A clock that ticks backward

• A talking cat


Make whatever it is you chose into an important part of the story, and twist your plot to accommodate it. You have to choose a different thing to add to your story than your partner, so make sure to talk to them about what you chose. No word requirement, but at least 1/4 of your story should be different than it was before.


Here's an example:

We were trapped, like little mice, to hide here for the rest of our days. Stuck in one little village. The elders had created a magical barrier a couple thousand years ago around our small village, which was really secluded out here in the birchwood. I slid my finger along the rough spine of a gold-covered book. I was the Keeper of the Library, and probably the only one who still had an affinity towards it. The other elves lived in fear…fear of the Darksoul. I understood the fear; in my favorite book of all time, a legend died at his hands. Her name was Zia. I pulled back the drapes of the stretching glass windows, ready to let the sunlight in. My predecessor had always left this place cold and uninviting…pretty much like him. My father had hated caring for this library but to me? It was like my home. I stared out the window at my people as they bustled down the streets. Their colorful tunics brightened the street as they collected food for the harvest. I ached for change. As much as I adored this library, full of stories of adventures,…I wanted to live my own. I put my hand on the glass, seeing my reflection in it. Fair skin, amber eyes, and short and messy dark curls. That is who I had become…a man, trapped and forgotten.

I heard a swish and smiled slightly, seeing my cat, Shadow, jump up on the bookshelf behind me in the reflection. She blinked slowly, her bright green eyes contrasting against her inky fur. I turned and pet her a second, her fur comfortable to the touch. It wasn't wiry like some cats - it was as soft as a cloud.

“Careful, little kit before you knock something over,” I warned her gently, “These books are historical, and honestly just about the only thing of value in my life anymore.” My gaze drifted across the space. The stretching spiral staircase which led up to the second story was just about as lonesome as I was. Picking up a lit candlestick, I rounded up the staircase. She scampered after me, slipping a couple of times as she climbed.

There was something I had to know… How had Zia, the champion of the earth, wounded the Darksoul? Legends always seemed to lack that one important detail. The smell of the books' leather was constant as my hand slid up the banister. I gently lowered the candlestick onto a table and scanned over the books.

“The legend of…” I trailed off, my gaze landing on a book that had stitchwork of the sun.

I snatched it and started rummaging through the pages. The scrollwork was immaculately done, and more recently too. As elves, we lived for hundreds of years. But I knew that this was written before the barrier, which meant that it could only be about 200 years old, a blink in time, compared to our usual lifetime of 1,500. As my eyes trailed over the words, the chime of the clock downstairs rang, reminding me of the hour (or multiple) that passed as I read through it. I had heard this story a thousand times. Zia's story was used to create fear in our young…not hope as it always did for me. Hope that we wouldn't have to hide from him anymore. We were connected to the earth…we should be the ones to save the humans and ourselves. Finally, I noticed that I flipped to a page that I didn't recognize. I started to absorb the words, but a wave of dizziness crashed over me, and I tried to steady myself by grabbing onto the bookshelf. But to no avail. The book fell from my hands, and I dropped to my knees. Shadow jumped in fear.
“Rowan… You have been chosen as the next champion,” I heard a silky voice say.

Images flashed in my head of the earth dying. One by one, images of forests shriveling and the oceans being depleted filled my mind as if I was right there, watching. I felt my heart drum in my ears, overwhelmed by all of this destruction. As the Darksoul continued to take the magic from the elves and now from the humans, he was draining the earth's magic from them. Suddenly, the images slowed, and my mind showed me the image of the Darksoul and his haunting cloaked figure. The goldwood forest, I whispered, shocked. His red eyes, bored into the eyes of another…a girl elf. Her face held desperation as if she was in pain.

“Please,” she whispered, gripping the grass.

Then, she yanked the amulet from his neck. She fell to the earth, her soul raptured into his amulet that she gripped in her hand. My breathing hitched, as I realized that this was Zia. I was watching her story. But…then I saw that the Darksoul started to gasp, his face changing shape. He was starting to die…his features becoming more deathly. Desperately, he dove for the amulet and clamped it back around his neck. His features started to return back to their original shape, but he seemed different…

Shadow started to nudge my hand. My eyes shot open, panting, still on the floor in the Library. That was the missing piece! She had wounded him by taking his amulet, I thought. I grabbed the book and stood to my feet, holding onto the bookshelf to steady myself. In shock, my eyes widened as colors started to swirl around me. What was this? I backed up, against a bookshelf, uncertain. A rush surged through me, and I felt magic course through my veins…stronger magic than I had ever felt within me. The earth was giving me its energy, I realized.

Finally, the feeling stopped, and my gaze moved to Shadow as the colors started to swirl around her.

The voice returned a second time, startling me, “Now go, young elf. And take this kit with you. Trust her.”

The colors stopped, and I flexed my hand for a second. I felt different…more alive. Running my hand through my curls, I stared at the book in my hand.

“I can guide you.” a soft voice spoke, and my gaze shot to Shadow, mouth open.

“What? You just spoke…but that's-”

Shadow approached me, her tail in the air, “It's not impossible. The earth has blessed us both, and given us a mission. Mine is to guide you to the Darklord himself.”

After a second of shock, I glanced down at Shadow, crouched, and pet her.

“Then I suppose you must lead the way, my little kit.” I whispered affectionately.

With a slight nod of her head, she raced down the stairs and I followed, my heart racing in my ears in anticipation. I clutched the book to my chest as I ran down the forest path, past the village houses. My gaze slid to Shadow, and I smiled, running besides her. My feet pounded the earth, and I inhaled deeply, enjoying the new feeling of connection to the elements. I skidded to a stop before the barrier, its blue shimmering form apparent. I now had more magic than even the elders of my people which meant that with a snap of my fingers, I could walk through the barrier. And this was what I had always dreamed of. But I still had questions…a lot of questions, I laughed internally. I glanced back at my home. Maybe I wouldn't ever have all the answers, I realized. I inhaled a breath, steadying my thoughts. I put my hand through the barrier, feeling the tingling force of my powers against it. I would save the earth, I decided. And one day, I would write my own legend.

“Rowan the Bold,” I laughed under my breath as I escaped the barrier and brushed back a tree branch, “Will be the Darksoul's undoing.”

Credit: Made by @school4girlsad

When you're done, send both writings to your partner!




Summary:

This weekly is meant to exercise your editing skills, and also show you that it can be fun :)

To finish the weekly, you must:

• Complete part 1 with a 300 word critique of your partner's writing.

• Complete part 2 with a noticeably edited version of your writing (45 minute editing session requirement)

• Complete part 3 with a silly version of your story


You must work through it in order (part 1, then part 2, etc.) and meet the requirements of the sections.

But don't worry! - If you're unable to complete all three parts, you can still earn some points by working through a few of the sections. :D



Points:

~ Partial weekly: Only Part 1 = 500 points

~ Partial weekly: Part 1 and Part 2 = 1,000 points

~ Completed weekly: Part 1, 2, & 3 = 1,600 points


Post your work by 11:59 p.m. on the 29th UTC time to earn points. Remember to show proof and happy writing! <3


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Weekly created and written by @school4girlhd