Discuss Scratch

SC0UT_LUVZ_Y0U
Scratcher
2 posts

Hello! I'm writing a story, but I am unsure if it's coming across the way I want it to. This is all I have right now.

Oh, how the farm and the town would be dearly missed, but this had to be done. Caligo strutted down the cobbled streets of their town for the last time. Different shaped houses lined the asymmetric street, overgrown vines and grass grew far down the paths. Everything seemed so delicate and fragile now that Caligo was really looking around. Caligo themself wasn’t the strongest either, but they looked muscular compared to the other children in the town. The civilization was fairly small, there was only one school and one clinic. Caligo knew almost every child in the town. There were clearly quite a bit more adults than children. Being one of the eldest children, Caligo had to watch them all.
I’ll never see my brothers again..
They adjusted their pointy hat nervously, the weight of their sadness felt like it was slowly crushing their heart, and the pointed hat at least would help Caligo hold on to the delicate memories inside their heart for a bit longer. The rustled hat was wrinkled and a bit floppy, but it represented Caligo’s witch ancestry, and they loved it, even if it was frayed and a bit dirty. The sparkling sun glinted just over the horizon, casting a dark red glow over the landscape. The town looked deserted this early in the morning, sparking sudden terror at the situation Caligo was in. The place Caligo needed to go couldn’t be too far away… right?
Caligo pulled their poncho closer to themself, the air felt like it was sharp enough to split completely through their clothing, swirling around them and nearly making them topple over. One particularly large burst of wind gusted down the street, shoving them backwards into the icy leaves and grass below. They crashed painfully to the ground with a choking gasp of terror. Caligo’s witch hat flew off of their head and clambered into a row of flower pots outside of a tiny, rickety house. They pleaded to themself that the noise of clattering and rattling didn’t wake the residents of the home.
“Who’s there!?” a jittery, high pitched voice from inside the house questioned, making Caligo jump with terror.
“We cannot have another disturbance.” Another unknown person added to themself in a deeper, much less audible voice. It was almost a murmur.
“Stay back, I’ll open the door.”
A footstep or two signaled to Caligo, who had panicked and scrambled into a scraggly bush, that someone was moving toward the door, ready to open it.

(and then it stops because I'm unsure of what to write next. Please leave suggestions and constructive criticism. Don't be rude though!)
Loubeano
Scratcher
46 posts

Hello! I'm writing a story, but I am unsure if it's coming across the way I want it to. This is all I have right now.

I'd say this is some pretty good story writing, I didn't really find anything that may need to be adjusted in this story.
I don't really have any suggestions but keep up the impeccable work. You have pretty good descriptive skills!
One day this could be something great I believe in you, and you should believe in yourself too!

Sincerely, Loubeano
SoNerdy101
Scratcher
25 posts

Hello! I'm writing a story, but I am unsure if it's coming across the way I want it to. This is all I have right now.

What if those people were Caligo's ancestors were summoned to warn her about the dangers of witch school, where the professors planned to teach her about The Book of Shadows? The Book of Shadows is where it harms the village: and Caligo herself. The professors put ghost poison outside the door, which was why they were hesitant to open it. When they open the door, they never get to warn Caligo about The Book of Shadows, but she finds out about it because of the secret scroll she found covered in grey blood (young witch blood) under her bed that said: “Dearest Caligo, I hope you live to learn about the harm in this world. They've sewn my mouth shut with a dull needle so I can't speak the horrors of Sorcerer's Academy. Hide away, and no matter what, DON'T read the book. Its inscriptions have no good use in this world. Listen to this message.” When she turned 16, the elders led her to the Academy, where their gift for her was The Book of Shadows. Anyways, it's just a suggestion, just something that crossed my mind, feel free to write what you want to.

Last edited by SoNerdy101 (Oct. 27, 2022 02:02:39)


Thank you for reading.
-SoNerdy101
SC0UT_LUVZ_Y0U
Scratcher
2 posts

Hello! I'm writing a story, but I am unsure if it's coming across the way I want it to. This is all I have right now.

THE STORY EVEN FURTHER SO FAR


Oh, how the farm and the town would be dearly missed, but this had to be done, as much as it was dreaded. Caligo strutted down the cobbled streets of their town for the last time. Misshapen houses lined the asymmetrical street, overgrown vines and grass grew far down the paths. Everything seemed so delicate and fragile now that they were really looking around. Caligo themself wasn’t the strongest either, but they looked muscular compared to the other children in the town. The civilization was fairly small, there was only one school and one clinic. Caligo knew almost every child in the town. There were clearly quite a bit more adults than children, and being one of the eldest children, Caligo had to watch them all.
Every day.
I’ll never see my brothers again..
They adjusted their pointy hat nervously, the weight of their sadness felt like it was slowly crushing their heart, and the pointed hat at least would help Caligo hold on to the delicate memories inside their heart for a bit longer. The rustled headwear was wrinkled and a bit floppy, but it represented Caligo’s witch ancestry, and they loved it, even if it was frayed and a bit dirty. The sparkling sun glinted just over the horizon, casting a dark red glow over the landscape. The town looked deserted this early in the morning, sparking sudden terror at the situation Caligo was in. The place Caligo needed to go couldn’t be too far away… right?
Caligo pulled their poncho closer to themself, the air felt like it was sharp enough to split completely through their gentle cotton clothing, swirling around them and nearly making them topple over. One particularly large burst of wind gusted down the street, shoving them backwards into the icy leaves and grass below. They crashed painfully to the ground with a choking gasp of terror. Caligo’s witch hat flew off of their head and clambered into a row of flower pots outside of a tiny, rickety house. They pleaded to themself that the noise of clattering and rattling didn’t wake the residents of the home.
“Who’s there!?” a slightly nervous voice from inside questioned, making all of Caligo’s fears turn out to be true.
“We cannot have another disturbance.” Another unknown person added to themself in a deeper, much less audible voice. It was almost a murmur. “Stay back, I’ll open the door. It might be the person we’re looking for, the one who’s running away”
“Wait no, I’ll open it!”
A rushed footstep or two signaled to Caligo, who had panicked and scrambled into a cold, scraggly bush, that someone was moving toward the door, ready to open it.
What appeared to be a young soldier cautiously creaked open the door. He looked to be around fifteen years old, with short brown hair and narrowed mahogany eyes that were like green-ish pools of wonder. Freckles dotted his cheeks, and Caligo noted that he wasn’t very tall, either.
Caligo pushed themself further into the bushes. Unfortunately, the rustling and cracking of the fragile branches was loud enough so that it had almost immediately given away Caligo’s exact location. The small soldier was now watching over the bush with an intense stare of curiosity. It would’ve been a lot easier for Caligo to just talk to them and explain why all the ruckus happened instead of hiding like a spooked rabbit. But all Caligo did was wait, stunned. They watched in raw terror as the soldier shuffled over to the bush and shoved away the scraggly fronds.
“Woah-”
He didn’t seem all very surprised by Caligo’s location.
“My dad said that a young witch would go down this street this morning. It seems he was right!”
Now that Caligo was closer to the soldier, they noticed that he had to be around the same age as them. Two small, fairy-like wings that didn’t seem to be fully developed yet sprouted from his back, his amber eyes were still hopeful with youth.
How come I haven’t met this person before? I know every single child in the entire village! And how did he know I was leaving! I told no one!
“Who are you, exactly..?” Caligo cautiously asked, curious but weary.
“Oh! I’m Rondo. You seem like a great person, Caligo!”
Rondo smiled, but worry tinted his hazel gaze.
Maybe he just has anxiety over meeting new people. I know a lot of nervous people.
Caligo smiled sincerely in return to Rondo’s kind attitude, but anxiety pricked at them.

How did he know my name?
SoNerdy101
Scratcher
25 posts

Hello! I'm writing a story, but I am unsure if it's coming across the way I want it to. This is all I have right now.

Oh wow I LOVE THIS!!!

Thank you for reading.
-SoNerdy101

Powered by DjangoBB