I can still remember the day where I got my cutie mark. I was still just a young unicorn pony in Canterlot. It was storming, and I was sitting at my desk, neglecting my homework, and looking outside at the downpour that kept hitting the ground, making a loud sound. I had a look of worry on my face, the kind that sucked all the color out of you.

“Sacred Shine,” Mr. Shyden said. “What's wrong?” His black suit covering his gray body looked wrinkled, and it need an ironing. Mr. Shyden's black mane also needed a cut, and it almost covered his forehead.

“No… Nothing. I just feel a little sick. ” I lied. Truth be told, it was the storm giving me my freight. My normally blue face was now a lighter shade, and my red mane was all stood up, making me look ridiculous in front of the class.

Mr. Shyden could tell that I was scared. “Well, if there's anything you need, just ask, okay?” I nodded my head, and got back to my work. A peeked outside again, and with the corner of my eye, saw a bolt of lightning hit the ground. It was like a streak of bright blue was bouncing off invisible walls, until it finally reached the ground. A loud boom went off, and BAM! I let out screech, and instantly, everypony in my class looked at me.

I tucked my head in between my arms in embarrassment as a wave of laughter pierce my ears. “Class,” Mr. Shyden yelled out. “Sacred Shine was just a little startled by the thunder. Aren't we all scared of a little thunder at times?” He slowly walked a little bit towards me so that the class didn't notice him.

“Sacred Shine, you've got to stop being scared of the thunder. It's distracting from the class time,” He said in a calm voice.“

”Don't worry, Mr. Shyden. I'll try my best.“ I responded in a semi-confident voice. He could tell that I was trying my hardest to sound good.

”Good.“ He walked to the front of the room. ”Everypony, find a partner to compa…“ He couldn't finish his sentence. A large bolt of lightning pierced the sky and hit the large school, right on our class. The glass shattered, and the school was set on fire.

There were screaming and shouting all around, with some people getting out of their seats and running around. ”Everypony stay calm! Everything is going to be okay!“ He failed at calming down the class. Sometimes I swear I went to school with idiots. ”Stay calm, everyp…“ Again, he wasn't able to finish his sentence.

A piece of wood came crashing down, and smacked Mr. Shyden right in the head. Almost instantly, he was knocked out. ”AHHHHHHH!“ The kids screamed. I was still sitting in my chair when that happened. It was almost deafening what happened. A few kids bolted to the door, but rubble came down and blocked the way out!

”We're done for!“ A few kids said! Another kid started praying to Celestia. That's when I realized that I had to take control of this situation. I took a deep breath and screamed out. ”EVERYPONY BE QUIET!“ Everybody was shocked that I said that. A moment of silence, at least from the students, occurred, allowing me to say what I had to say.

”Everypony!“ I yelled out again. ”The strongest students lift up the piece of wood on Mr. Shyden and use it as a battering ram. The others, try to get Mr. Shyden out. Then we'll head outside immediately!“

”Got it!“ Everypony yelled out. Five students grabbed the log, and with all their might, ran it into the rubble. ”Again!“ They tried again, and again, until finally it got knocked down.

”Good job everypony! Now grab Mr. Shyden and let's get out.“ Those same students grabbed him, and we all ran outside, where it was still pouring rain. By the time the firefighters came, everypony was evacuated and the fire was almost put out. The students then made the most out of nowhere sound that could have came out of that situation; the sound of clapping. Everybody in my class was clapping. And it was…. to me.

”Good job, Sacred Shine!“

”Way to go!“

”You saved our lives!“ I blushed, and walked backward until I hit another pony.

”I'm sorry,“ I said before I turned around. My eyes went wide in awe, and my mouth wide open when I saw who was standing behind me. It was Princess Celestia herself.

”Sacred Shine,“ she said, while I was wondering how she knew my name. ”You've proven that during a time of chaos, you can be a competent leader to your peers. I'd like to give you a full scholarship to the highest leadership school in all of Equestria!“

”Oh… my…. gosh.“ I couldn't say anything. I'd always dream of going to a high school. Unfortunately, my parents were able to barely pay for me to go to this school. My parents arrived, rushing to my side.

”Princess Celestia! What did my boy do?“ Heaven Shine, my mother, asked with a look of anger.

”What happened?“ Light Shine, my father, asked with confusion.

”I GOT A FULL SCHOLARSHIP TO ONE OF THE HIGHEST SCHOOLS!“ I couldn't hold it. I had to yell the AMAZING news to my parents.

My parents were silent, until Celestia broke the silence. ”That's not the only good news." She pointed her horn and my side, and there it was! My cutie mark had appeared! It was a speck of shining light.

You know, despite all the bad things that happened that day, I would consider that day perfect.



Please tell me how to improve!

maxdoss wrote:

Please tell me how to improve!

Might want to start by putting it in the right forum

There's a fanfiction beta reading thread somewhere around here. As for improving, I think Celestia giving SS the scholarship was a bit abrupt. You should put a bridge before that part. Also, paragraph 3, the storm was giving him freight?

yay fanfics

;D ;D ;D ;D EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since this topic hasn't seen a new post from the topic owner in a long time, I'm going to assume that it is dead and close the topic. If it still is alive, the topic owner just needs to use the Report button to ask a mod to reopen it