࿐ ࿔*:

EVENT HORIZON
an evanesce application

 

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all the histories,
threads of time,
possibilities
that never came to be.

 
TABLE OF CONTENTS

portfolio.
・about me
・application reasons
・character history
・activity levels

evanesce.
・identity
・personality & concepts.
・longevity.
・roleplay examples.
・dynamics & trivia.
・future plans.

closing.
・codewords
・afterword.
・credits.


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she is made of everything
and nothing
all at once.

neutron star.

about me.
✦ @r-ever-ie
✦ jun — she/they
✦   hi i'm jun! i'm a canadian japanese-indian teen with a love for the arts! i especially adore music—i play trumpet/mellophone, oboe, and cello—and i love listening to music too; my favourite artists at the moment are her's, mitski, the backseat lovers, current joys, and the strokes. i also love art and history as well ♡ i'm currently a high schooler and hope to study humanities in the future! i enjoy drawing and physical media, and i'm always watching a film or having my earbuds in with music on full volume.


application reasons.
✦ i'm applying for evanescekit!
✦  i adore her design (really anything created by the marvellous somerset in general) and her bird motifs made me especially drawn to her. however, the selling point for me was the potential plot—i love love love everything with astrophel and the story behind these three kits, and after reading the form, so many ideas starting spinning in my head! i adore the plot and interesting dynamics already proposed and set up for these kits, and i would love to have a character within that bubble. i've never interacted or roleplayed with astrophel, but i've always been peering on them from afar, and i would love to be involved in feyr family and plot!

 
character history.
✦ present 
・whimsydove (windclan, 52 moons)

✦ past
・orchidloom (no longer connected/family was inactive)
・starfishpaw (deleted for personal reasons)
・květoslava (deleted for personal reasons)
・beastlyrose (deleted due to old one character limit)
・bluebonnettwist (deleted due to old one character limit)

a lot of my earlier characters were killed off fairly quickly due to me being younger and playing around to develop personalities i wasn't very attached to. now that i'm older and have much more writing and character building experience, i get a lot more attached and love fleshing out my characters fuller with heavier plot and dynamics, which is why i aim to keep them for longer now!


activity levels.
✦ i'm online throughout the day and i check scratch very frequently, even if i may not be actively writing or posting things—i would give myself a 9/10. i am a high schooler in a very time-consuming extracurricular however, so that takes a toll on my general activity throughout the weekdays. however, tfcrp is one of the activities i genuinely enjoy doing and i love spending whatever free time i have roleplaying or interacting with the community! and in a month or two i'll be basically free and much more active c:

 
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she is life and death
and everything
that's ever been and
ever will be.

white dwarf.

࿐ ࿔*: EVANESCE
・unlabelled, eventually she/they
・biromantic asexual

personality & concepts.

・it's odd to write this character when she is modelled after what is the absence of all light, a point where nothing can escape—in simpler terms, practically a void. she takes on what is the sinking feeling of simply knowing. she knows and lets go, pulls everyone in with her crushing gravity, even those crafted of light. when you meet evanesce, you do not leave without having your flame extinguished.

・{+} loyal, observant, courteous, self-preserving, charming
・{=} constant, sentimental, cautious, patient
・{–} obsessive, neurotic, self-sacrificing, anxious, pessimistic

✦ evanesce shines with the light of a myriad of moons, always glowing, always taking. she is very dormant and mellow in a way that she is still fairly expressive and enthusiastic but it always feels like she is never really fully present in the moment. she's quite observant and pays careful attention in conversation, but she cannot help but allow her thoughts to wander and scatter, causing her to never look like she is completely there, simply a shell of a cat.

it's hard for evanesce to show feeling and struggles with making others understand that she cares—which is funny, because to her, sometimes all she feels like she does is care. her feelings are white hot and on fire, and at times she feels like they burn a hole straight through her heart, projected for everyone to see. yet somehow no one can see the bright white light she emits, no one can see how deeply she cares.


✦ evanesce drags herself through life like she has lived it a thousand times before, already exhausted of the road she is on without any hope for the future. she ignores the spontaneity around her, blind to the rest of the world save for her own life and needs. she moves like she has all the time in the world and is on her deathbed, a perpetual state of exhaustion seeming to encompass her.

she is stagnant in life, like a tree rooted to the soil and preserved with cement. she is incapable of moving, of leaving her life to go chase after others. everything she does abides by her own rules, her life that she has built for herself, and if someone enters and cannot stay frozen with her forevermore, she will push them away. evanesce expects everyone she has ever loved to change for her fixed lifestyle, adjust to her ways, and she hopes and hopes that someone will come by and stay forever, but that is never the case. she watches with a knowing sense of grief as everyone she has loved and ever will love leave her and move on, all while she is a tree cursed to grow for millennia.


✦ when she is suffering or thinks that something is wrong, she simply stays silent, refusing to argue or allow tension to arise. she stays quiet and allows others to get frustrated with her and leave on their own and perhaps she is selfish for doing so, because she feels much better knowing that she did not have to push anyone away herself. evanesce is perfectly content with being forgotten—it hurts far less than trying to forgot instead.

she's too proud to admit to her own faults or admit that she feels out of control, much rather preferring for those she loves to leave her than confess how she is feeling and risk them seeing her in a different light. her pride is holt and molten, sometimes too much for her own good. she wants others to see her in a perfect light, that she is stable and pristine forever, and to admit to her faults is too agonizing for her to consider, an opening of a wound that she never wants to fracture.


✦ she grows obsessive over certain aspects that are out of her control—more specifically, cats that she has already left. evanesce convinces herself that she distances herself from others to preserve them, to preserve herself, but she cannot do anything to stop growing increasingly curious to what they are doing without her. are they happy? have they forgotten her already? she knows that by wondering, by allowing herself to watch them from afar, she is only dragging herself closer to them. but that's what all objects in the dark want to do, so why is what she is doing wrong? all moons need light to reflect, and when hers is gone, she cannot help but chase after it.


・mbti — isfp. fi se ni te
・enneagram — 5w6
・temperament — melancholic


longevity.
✦ i am hoping to conclude my tfcrp journey soon, and if i win, my plans are for evanesce to be my penultimate character for stfc! i'm looking for a character to be more chill and flexible with so i can focus on plot with them and take my time instead of worrying about constantly grinding out rps. i'm hoping to keep her as long as possible—at the very least for a year or more.


roleplay examples.

❝ birds of prey — jrp w/ @mavenmako

❝ still waters — jrp w/ @lapisfox2010

❝ daughter, daughter — jrp w/ @avianfae_


dynamics & trivia

・personal beliefs —
✦ evanesce believes in renewal, in magic. just like the flowers bloom from snow in spring, she knows that things come and go like the tide. she loves the impermanence of relationships, how she grows like a tall evergreen tree, watching as the cats around her shed their vibrant colours for autumn and are bare in winter. for someone so opposed to change, evanesce adores transience around her, how she can stay still while everything around her shifts and changes with the vibrant colours of passing seasons.
✦ she believes in the idea of predestination, that her fate has already been foreordained since she was blown into this world like the petals of a dandelion. everyone has a purpose, a fate waiting for them, and evanesce is confident that she knows hers. everyone around her is unsure, uncertain and moving from place to place in search for theirs, but evanesce knows that she is meant to stay, stay rooted forever. she already knows her fate, why leave when there is nothing else to explore?

・love —
✦ love to evanesce is acceptance. acceptance that it is never permanent, never there to stay. for evanesce to truly love, she has already accepted that it is ephemeral, one day lost to the wind and forgotten. there is something beautiful about love coming and going, as she falls in love a million times, with concepts and hearts and appearances that all differ every time, and she thinks there is some quality of loveliness knowing that even something so divine and enchanting has an end.

・hate —
✦ hate is love and something evanesce distances herself from. to hate is to feel so strongly that you get attached and emotional, and she despises it. the second she starts feeling too much, she pushes it away, locks herself back into her neutral state of balance. she hates feeling hateful, hates how out of control it makes her feel. it is a harder emotion to push away than the trivial love.


❝ sweet thing, i've been lost in the light every morning ❞

・home —
✦ riverclan to evanesce is more than a home—it's her whole life. home is a physical place, and that is riverclan, her life's sole background and setting. she knows that you can only have one home, and to leave riverclan would mean more than just giving up her life—it would be leaving the only place she is allowed to call home. home is not where she has family or loved ones, it is where she feels the most in control and comfortable. in riverclan, evanesce is confident of the life that she has built for herself, and when she is stable, that is when she feels the most at home.
✦ evanesce remembers hardly anything from her life before astrophel. occasionally she sees flashes of dark brambles and a warm cinnamon aroma, but that is all they are—memories. if evanesce returned to her life as a loner, grew up where she had been found moons ago by astrophel, she would feel like a fish out of water. home is riverclan, and riverclan alone. there is no other place she would feel stable, even though riverclan was not her first taste of home.

・family (general) —
✦ evanesce views family as a stage, a memory that has a purpose of being forgotten after its use is over. family encompasses kithood and youth, and evanesce will mainly see her family as just a stage in life that, like all stages, has a purpose to eventually end. her family is her first heartbreak, yet the one she does not regret. she will be all about making the most of the moment and the time that she has with them before she grows older with the sinking knowledge—or fear—that one day they are going to leave her behind.

・family (astrophel) —
✦ astrophel unnerves her, crawls under her skin like a spider, his web trapping the thrumming beat of her heart and soul. it is unsettling how alike they look without being of the same blood—evanesce doesn't believe in conspiracies, but if she did, she would be certain that the tying of astrophel to her must have been kismet. she hates it, hates having the feeling that her life has already been drawn out for her before she can live for herself, that she is cursed to trail after her father's mistakes and follow every failure and misstep fey has made.
✦ she doesn't care whether her relationship with astrophel becomes tensed or not—to her, her father is a memory to look back on, to remember as a moment in time rather than keep close to her forever. in a way, her relationship with astrophel souring is a victory, a way to distance herself from becoming them, a shield from how he haunts her, trails her, evermore.
✦ she is both terrified and awed by who astrophel is and what he has given to her and her siblings. she cannot help but wonder sometimes what would it be like if she was never brought to riverclan, never met astrophel. would she have been happier?

・family (halcyon & dayspring) —
✦ evanesce sees her brothers as sons of the light, always shining and providing the light that she selfishly reflects back. they are the warmth of the sun on flowers in spring, while she suffers the frigid chill of winter, cursed to yield barren land and show up with empty paws. she cannot help but feel jealous of them.
✦ in her mind, her brothers are a singular entity, a formless creature shapeless of face and personality. all she knows of them is what she has constructed in her mind, what she projects on to them to keep her twisted perception of them. evanesce does not care about her brothers' favourite colours or what they like to eat, nor does she ask them anything of the sort. she does not care how differently astrophel treats them—she turns a blind eye to everything, aware of only the narratives she has spun for them within her own psyche.


❝ glistening's a state of mind ❞

・herself —
✦ she views herself as the tragic victim, breaking her own heart a million times over to provide the best for others. evanesce thinks herself as completely moral, completely good, simply doing what is the best and hurting herself over and over to protect others. she sees the cat evanesce as pristine and pure, innocent and hopeful, like her life is a lesson that she needs to fail countless times to become invincible. she is smeared with dirt and blurry at the edges, imperfect and scarred, yet still pristine as porcelain in her eyes.

・name symbolism —
✦ evanesce — (v.) to dissipate like vapour
・to evanesce is to fade slowly, to lose yourself over time, not all at once. she stands so still, so serenely inert, that she cannot help but do anything other than fade away like a whisper to the wind. her existence is fleeting to those that come to know her, and sometimes it is thought if she was never real at all. halcyon is a past memory of golden hour, and dayspring is a marvellous sight to not miss in the future, while evanesce is trapped in the moment, a constant evaporation that will never cease to end as long as she lives.

・appearance symbolism —
✦ the jasmine flowers on her pelt are a constant reminder of her tether to her father, a physical feature akin to the markings on her face. unlike those, however, she can easily rid herself of them, toss them in the mud or throw them into the wind. but evanesce is much too attached to give them up, considering them as a part of her own pelt, melted into her figure like the wax of candles. jasmine is also heavily tied to aphrodite in greek mythology, connecting it to purity and romance. jasmine flowers have the strongest and sweetest scent only after sunset, making it closely intertwined with the feeling of warm summer nights and moonlit evenings, which is an odd connection given her frigid nature. in a way, she enjoys the way their strong scent envelops her with sweetness after dark, a warmth that she would not be able to hold on to alone.

 
✦ voice claim — typhon (arknights)
✦ nicknames — eva, evie, van, eve, ann

✦ love language — evanesce's love carries a sense of finality with it, a crisp chill that leaves you wishing for warmth that is never there. it's a paw that strokes your fur, touch featherlight, yet not solid enough to grasp onto you. to be loved by evanesce is to accept that one day, you will lose her. she loves almost halfheartedly, never giving a hundred percent into her relationships in fear of exposing too much of her heart. her primary love language is physical touch. she loves brushing paws, braiding fur, anything tactile to feel the realness of the cat she is with. evanesce loves that physical touch is only a sparse moment in time, a fleeting act that feels so real yet also a figment of the imagination at the same time. it doesn't leave behind anything permanent or tangible and is just a memory that the two of them can share between them, almost like a secret. she often feels like those who receive her affection are slipping away if she doesn't keep her eye on them for long, and she needs to hold them in her paws to confirm that they're still there and haven't left her yet. for someone who is so eager to push others away, she is rather afraid of being alone.

✦ playlist
・divenire. ludovico einaudi
・begged. oliva rodrigo
・boyish. japanese breakfast
・blue lips. her's
・the frost. mitski
・silver soul. beach house
・heavenly. c.a.s.

✦ motifs
・a matter of time
・stags
・pale gardens
・evergreens
・clock towers
・predestination
・broken bones
・forgotten promises
・fruit flies
・blackberries

✦ human au
evangeline “ange” — swedish; daughter of clouds

・very niche, curated music taste. loves shoegaze and indie rock and follows a bunch of super unknown artists online and definitely brags about having a niche music taste and “discovering” various artist.
・adores fashion in a very chill way—she loves to thrift and shop but always ends up wearing the same five items of clothing because they're comfortable. she would wear a lot of silver jewellery and have a downtown or skater girl aesthetic with a lot of baggy jeans and tighter shirts. always has airpods in and a chunky bag.
・loves to play music—mainly french horn and bass guitar. adores recording music and composing fun little riffs and has definitely dreamed of playing in a proper orchestra one day but rarely practices so she knows that will never happen. she's kind of like a prodigy that has a ton of potential—lazy genius of sorts.


✦ miscellaneous
favourites
・colour ~ navy blue.
・weather ~ cloudburst.
・season ~ winter.
・time of day ~ midnight.
・scent ~ jasmine and cedar.
・flower ~ hydrangea.

pure black is a colour that does not exist in nature—if it did, it would be evanesce's favourite. the colour of the night sky comes close, and perhaps that's why she adores the dark. everything is unmoving, no clouds shifting or soft voices mingling around camp; so still that if she even dared to whisper, it would cause the faintest of ripples in the air. night is a moment of stillness and calm before day, and evanesce adores it.


future plans.
✦ just concepts for now! these will be elaborated upon or changed depending on the relationships she grows while actually rping. she would of course be a part of other characters' plots too and i want most of her relationships to develop naturally, which is why familial and individual plots are the most detailed as of now.


❝ burnout: a dying star (familial)
family is a matter that evanesce always knew she would leave behind one day. her brothers are twin stars, and she is a black hole, only taking, taking all the light that steps into her event horizon. she never gives what she takes, selfish and draining. her brothers are the first she knows she has to let go of before the string around their paws ties too tight, bounding them together for eternity. it is for the best, she convinces herself, letting go of them. all she does is suck their light away the moment they cross her carefully drawn out line.

evanesce knows that her brothers have millennia before they burn out, whereas she is already on her path of decay. i imagine her relationship with them becoming strained until she ultimately pushes them away. family to evanesce is simply a stage in life—once she has grown up, they are no longer necessary in her storyline.

one day i imagine her reuniting with her brothers (see: decay) to cling to her childhood. after all, her brothers are all she has left of life before riverclan, the life she doesn't want to remember, so in a way, a part of them will always be burned into her soul, no matter how hard she tries to scrub it off the inside of her heart.


❝ fission: dissolving of salt water (familial)
evanesce hates the tie she has to astrophel, and if fur was a paint, she would wash away her entire appearance that mirrors her father so eerily. she notices how astrophel treats her when she pushes away those she loves, when she turns avoidant just like he did in the past. she finds it scary, to resemble a cat's past in such a way, but she doesn't mind the distance it puts between her and them. she doesn't mind resembling astophel's past—she herself doesn't know what happened—but she just does not want to mirror astrophel's present, the part she can see.

astrophel will be the hardest for evanesce to push away, because she does not have any true care towards him. unlike everyone else who has left, her father is just as stagnant as her, and the two of them grow like weeds in the dirt, parallel lines that will never intersect. she selfishly wants to keep him close, instead of push them away like she does to others, to prove herself and that she is capable. she constantly compares herself to him, obsesses over herself in comparison to him. she grows distant any time he gets too close for her liking—she likes him at a paw's reach, visible, but not close enough that their paths brush and they begin to intersect.


❝ decay: theseus's paradox (individual)
the ship of theseus is a paradox stating that overtime, the planks of a wooden ship will rot and decay, requiring them to be replaced one by one. at a certain point, all the original planks will have been succeeded—is it still the same ship?

evanesce has stayed rooted to a singular moment in time for her whole life, stuck in riverclan since the second she was brought there. she is to stay there for the next hundred eternities, watching the clan she calls home and the cats she has grown to love change and grow, leaving her stagnant soul behind to rot. she stays because riverclan is all she knows and is the only thing she can will to stay stable—but is it the same place forever if the cats in it are in a constant state of motion, constantly changing without her?she will realize this once she is quite old and many moons have passed. evanesce will try and desperately cling to her childhood and memories of her past to try and return to what once was. maybe this is the point where she will reach out to her siblings and family that she has pushed away in hopes of grasping onto any semblance of her youth.


❝ calypso: the midas touch (relational)
evanesce lives with the knowledge that all things she touches wither. there is nothing she can touch and turn to gold, eternally preserved forever to stay by her side. she knows this, and this is why she always lets go after only a few moments before they crumble under her crushing grip. however, there will be one cat that stays, one cat that will stay solid gold under her touch.

that cat will become her calypso, her greatest accomplishment and biggest fear. with time, they becomes less of a living, breathing organism and more of an object, an obsession. she wants to pick it apart, plant it in the soil so it grows along with her and never leaves. she will water it day and night and dote on it like a crumb.

she will struggle to allow herself to become attached, to hold on without fearing that every moment with them is the last. she is so used to others leaving, to pushing them away, that now she is afraid with the consequences of staying. maybe her calypso is a punishment, a cat so perfect she cannot help truly falling in love with the idea of them until they are one day ripped away from her. she cannot let go, yet she cannot fully express her devotion at the same time.

 
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her essence is a
rip in reality or
a tear in time.

 


black hole

codeword.
✦ among the myriad of stars that light up the sky, polaris will always point you to true north, to home.

afterword.
✦ thank you to everyone who has stuck around long enough to read this whole forum of what is essentially me rambling about this little girl aljdk. i truly had so much fun writing evanesce and spinning her around in my head for the few weeks this litter was open—i'm so grateful to all my friends who have let me yap about my thoughts for her.
✦ special thanks to somerset who crafted such an immensely stunning design for evanesce that i just couldn't resist applying the second i saw her. and especially thank you to winnie; if the design wasn't already enough, astrophel and the plot you've constructed are so so so intriguing and while i was already considering an application, reading the plot was the minute i sealed the deal. this is actually one of my shorter applications, but one that i'm the most proud of. thank you to everyone ever for bearing with me through all of this, i love you guys so much and good luck to everyone!

credits.
・music is divenire by ludovico einaudi.
・evanesce's design by @realdo-nothingday.
・litter hosted by @avianfae_.
・writing and ideas by @r-ever-ie.

・back to application.
・back to litter project.

if you look deeper,
if you look closely,
you can see all,
see beyond the event horizon.

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