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{ d a i l y 1 0 : m e m o i r ( p a r t 1 ) }

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one idea for a memoir could focus on how i learned independence earlier than many people my age. my dad travels to another state for work for about half of every month, and when he is home, my parents often spend their time arguing rather than being present. my mom is usually busy, and a lot of her attention naturally goes toward my brother. because of this, i’ve had to learn how to take care of myself in ways that other teenagers might not have to yet. i cook my own meals, manage my time, and handle most responsibilities on my own. recently i’ve been participating in a play, and while i hear my classmates talking about their entire families coming to watch, i’m not sure anyone from mine will be there. even though i’m used to it, moments like that still make me think about what independence really means and how growing up without much support has shaped me. (160)

another memoir idea could focus on how losing several important people changed the way i look at life. over the course of two years, i lost three people who mattered deeply to me. each loss made me realize how fragile everything is—not just people, but also memories. one of the hardest parts is that memories fade, even when i don’t want them to. faces, laughs, and details in general sometimes slip away before i realize they’re disappearing. after the third loss, i felt.. hopeless? if that makes sense? i knew i was going to forget everything. i felt disrespectful and overall, felt like living was pointless. i felt numb, like a spectator in the game of life. to combat my grief, i started making lists of small things i liked about the world, like sunlight shining just right through plastic cups or the crunch of dry leaves in the autumn or rain in the night when i’m laying in my bed. at first it felt strange, almost forced, like i was trying to patch something broken. but the list kept growing. over time, it became a way to remind myself that even when things disappear, there are still small moments worth noticing. (202)

a memoir could also explore a friendship i have that became emotionally overwhelming. i once had a friend who was struggling deeply, and many of our conversations revolved around heavy, painful topics. i cared about them and wanted to support them, but over time the friendship began to feel draining and confrontational rather than supportive. it became difficult to know what to say or how to help, and i often felt responsible for fixing problems that were much bigger than me. eventually i realized that i needed space, but expressing that was extremely hard because i didn’t want to hurt them or seem like i was abandoning them. this experience made me think about the limits of friendship and how even when you care about someone, you can’t always carry their struggles for them. it taught me that setting boundaries can be necessary, even when it feels uncomfortable. (148)

another memoir idea could explore the contradiction between how people see me and how i actually feel socially. i’m a very talkative person and can hold long conversations easily, so most people assume i’m extremely outgoing. however, i’m actually pretty introverted and have a small social battery. i often keep talking even when i’m tired because i don’t want to seem rude or bothersome. because of that, people are sometimes surprised when they find out i’m introverted. i remember once taking a personality test in elementary school, and my teacher was shocked by my result. one of the ways i recharge is through creative expression like writing, poetry, and art. those things give me a space to process thoughts quietly and escape the constant noise in my head. a memoir about this could explore how creativity became a way for me to understand myself better. (145)

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➻ 655 words

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penpalswc (zy!)
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(1,286 words)

Week 2 -

Week 3 -

{ d a i l y 1 1 : m e m o i r ( p a r t 2 ) }

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I love her eyes.
I love her soft smile.
I love the way she laughs.
I love her blond-streaked hair.
I love her thin-framed glasses.
I love her chocolate brown eyes.
I love her fashion.
I love how passionate she is about her interests.
I love how smooth her hair is.
I love her soft skin.
I love her art.
I love her passions.
I love her talent.

I love her.

I’d follow her to the ends of the universe if I had to—to run beneath starry skies with her, to feel blades of grass against my skin in distant meadows with her. I loved her more than anything else in the whole, vast world. I would undoubtedly let her guide me to the corners of earth. I wanted nothing more than to be within her presence, to stay happy by her side. To make her happy, and for her to make me happy alike. Just being in her presence was enough to make me sour to cloud nine.

Even when not talking, just being in her presence in some sense of ‘being’ filled me with joy. Breathing with her, existing, was enough to make me happy. Eating food with her without words, or working on schoolwork silently, or doodling together was enough to make me happy. I didn’t have to interact with her for happiness, I just needed to be with her.

When I’m around her, as the heat climbs up my chest and a sense of warmth blooms in my face, I know. I know she’s not just a friend, I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her, I know that her being is the very thing that keeps me happy. I know that I want to be by her side, no matter what.

I knew that I was in love.

But he’s not a girl.

Who is the person I love? Do I love him? Or the “him” who no longer exists? Do I love him now? Or am I in love with the him from when he wasn’t “him”?

He’s still my friend, or course he is, but is he still more than that?

But that’s ridiculous. He is still the person I fell in love with back then, the person who I would have followed to the ends of the universe, the person in which I would do anything and everything I could with. The person who I joined the same clubs as in order to be able to spend more time with him. The same person who I spent watching anime with, when I leaned my head on his shoulder and he let me, and I savored the touch.

He is still the person I fell in love with.

His eyes are still sharp, yet still soft and lively.
His smile is still bright and kind.
His laugh is cheery and loud, but I always love to hear it.
His hair still has blond, bleached streaks in them, beautiful as ever.
His glasses frame his eyes perfectly, thin not to obscure his face, but visible to complement it.
His brown eyes are dark but just as sweet as chocolate, that shine beautifully in the sun.
His loose, comfy graphic t-shirts with a character he loves hang off of his frame perfectly.
His excited ramblings about his interests are something I always love to hear.
His hair is still long enough for me to run my hands through, and I can get to the end without tangles.
His skin is soft and smooth, I love how it feels when I leave my hand on his shoulder.
His art is still beautiful, bright, beautiful colors from one edge of the canvas to the other, art beautiful like its creator.
His passion for everything he does is clear and obvious to me, seeing him throw himself into things fills me with a sense of euphoria I can’t get anywhere else.
His talents in the things he enjoys is admirable, it feels as if everything he does is perfect, like he was born and gifted with great abilities.
His existence makes me happy.

More than anything else in the whole wide world.

More than anything else in the vast universe.

More than anyone I had ever loved before.

Maybe one day, in a far distant future filled with reciprocated feelings and love that wasn’t gone overnight, a feeling of mutual joy between us. A feeling in which I could say, without a doubt, I’d want to feel again and again. A feeling special to him, a feeling that only he can invoke in me. A feeling that, against all odds, remains deep in my person, deep in my heart. A feeling that lasts for the rest of perceivable time.

I love him.

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➻ 800 words

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{ w e e k l y 2 : s h o r t s t o r i e s }

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{ p a r t 1 : p l o t t i n g }

Exposition:
After living in a hopelessly rural town all his life, Xavier lived with a strange sense of apathy to his surroundings and family. He has a twin sister, Serena, and a younger sister Katelyn. He also has an older brother named Ethan, nicknamed “Ace”. He had always felt a disconnection from his homeland, and a sense of wanderlust overcame him as he grew older, and he studied hard to ensure he’d be able to leave his hometown once he graduated.
The moment he turned 18, Xavier cut off contact with his family to live in New York City, knowing they’d nag him and distract him from his studies. Making a living and a name for himself as a doctor, it’s smooth sailing for Xavier as he forgets about the old town he used to live in. That is, until he is informed that his older brother had passed away in a fire. With this new revelation, and Ace being the only one of his family whom he still felt some connection to, he ultimately decides to return to his hometown for his brother’s funeral.

Rising Action:
Xavier returns to his hometown, already filled with a strange regret. Though he shortly realizes the sense of melancholy isn’t bad, it’s a result of nostalgia. He rents out a room in a small inn since he refuses to live with his remaining alive siblings, even if it would only be for a day. After all, he knows their opinion on him is terrible.
Shortly after he arrives, Xavier sees two kids catching bugs like he used to with his siblings—he feels an odd sense of nostalgia. He remembers late nights stargazing, which he can’t do anymore due to light pollution in the city. He remembers home cooked meals by his sister, which he never eats more than a convenience store sandwich these days. He remembers teaching his little sister how to fish, despite the fact that he hasn’t picked up a fishing pole in years.
It takes him a moment, but he remembers the happy times he had in this town.
The sense of apathy, apprehension, and dissociation he had with the town slowly begins to disappear. But he refuses to accept it.

Climax:
The next day, Xavier attends his brother’s funeral. Immediately, his twin sister, Serena, is filled with rage and hatred for Xavier cutting off ties to live in the city, and only coming back for their brother’s funeral. The two of them get into an argument, and Katelyn’s attempts to make them stop only fans the flames. The two are head to head, but only the fact that Ethan’s funeral is starting gets them to stop.
Serena recognizes the genuine remorse Ethan feels, but is too hot-headed to admit it.

Falling Action:
After the funeral ends, Xavier decides to go stargazing again like he used to before leaving back for New York. It’s then that Katelyn and Serena catch him. Serena’s apprehension begrudgingly melts, and the two stargaze alongside Xavier. They both wax on their childhood, and reconnect after the lost years both parties missed out from as a result of cut contact.

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{ p a r t 2 : w r i t i n g }

With the click of the door, Xavier threw his grocery bag onto the sofa. He ran a hand through his aggravated hair and leaned against the nearest wall.

The apartment complexes that reached sky-high had lights shining brightly out the window. They could serve as a replacement for the stars in the sky that had now become invisible from light pollution.

Ring…

There’s a ringing, and Xavier realizes that it’s his phone. His business number. Right. Xavier sighs before grabbing his phone, mustering up all the remaining professionalism he had after a terribly long day.

“Hello! This is Dr. Xavier Stone, how can I be of—”

“Let’s get to the point, Xavier.”

Xavier clenched his jaw—he recognized this voice. As much as he hated to admit it. He pinched the bridge of his nose and straightened his back as the recognition flooded his mind. This was Katelyn, his younger sister.

While for most, a call from a relative wasn’t out of the ordinary—but it was for Xavier. Since after all—

He cut off contact with his family years ago.

He remembers, applying to a college in New York and being thrilled at the acceptance. Not bothering to tell his family as he booked a flight to the city. Changing his phone number and officially cutting off all contact from his family with the prayer they’d never find him.

Alas, they did.

“How did you get this number?” Xavier’s eyes narrowed, and he could practically feel the contempt through the phone through a frustrated sigh.

“You’re some hotshot in the city, Xavier.” Katelyn hissed. “It wasn’t hard to find your business number on the website at the hospital you work at.”

“And how’d you figure out where I worked?”

“I just searched your name and scrolled until I found a website that looked right.”

Xavier strayed away from that topic and asked almost immediately after, “What the hell do you want, Katelyn?”

“You have the same foul temper as back then.” She bit out. “I’ll cut to the chase then.”

There was a small, shaky breath. “Ace is dead.” An exhale. “And I’m telling you to get back here for the funeral.”

For a moment, there was a thick silence that stretched farther than the sky. Xavier’s hands trembled, but he swallowed it down. It didn’t matter now. This was the past he buried a long time ago, and he refused to dig it back up.

“Ace was the last good thing in that town, and even then I left.” Xavier hid the tremor in his voice with a practiced calm. “What makes you think I’ll want to go back when he’s gone?”

Katelyn took a breath. “Whatever Xavier. I should’ve known you were a lost cause, just like Serena said. Just think about it, will you?”

Katelyn hung up.

Ace was the nickname for his older brother, Ethan. The only person that made Xavier somewhat hesitant to leave his hometown.

But now he’s gone.

—

Rice field after rice field.

The old engine of the truck he was on groaned as it made its way down the desolate roads. Xavier managed to hitchhike on a truck from the airport to the inn he was planning to stay at. He closed his eyes as he absorbed the world around him, the same familiar whistling of leaves and call of birds.

“Alright, here’s your stop!” The old man driving the truck grinned. Xavier politely nodded before hopping off, listening as the sound of the wheels against pavement faded.

The subtle scent of sea salt hung in the air—it’s been a long time since Xavier smelt that scent.

Xavier dragged his luggage forward, and made his way to the inn he booked a night at. There was no world in which he would stay with his siblings. Not with their simmering anger at him that would boil over at any minute.

But, Xavier stops. There’s a sound somewhere in the distance. Laughter. Xavier turns his head to see a group of kids laughing by the nearby forest with bug nets and scrapes on their knees and they climb a tree to catch a stag beetle.

The scenery was familiar.

Xavier used to try and catch rhinoceros beetles with his siblings in that very forest, didn’t he?

—-

“I found one!” Serena, his twin sister called out, cheering before grabbing a branch to climb up. “Heh, I’ll catch it all by myself!”

“Serena! Be careful!” Ace called out before jogging over, glaring at Serena to ensure she didn’t fall. Katelyn stood by the base of the tree and cheered Serena on, while Xavier stood by Ace.

“Got it!” Serena pumped, before dropping down and putting the rhinoceros beetle into a small cage. “Wait a minute…This is the first time Katelyn has seen a rhinoceros beetle, right?” She nodded to the aforementioned girl, who was currently 7 years old.

“Oh, yeah, you’re right. This isn’t her first time catching bugs with us, but this is the first time we’ve caught a rhinoceros beetle with her.” Ace mused.

Serena groaned, “Aw man! I should’ve let her catch it then!”

We all laughed at her indignation. “Don’t worry about it. This isn’t going to be the last time we see a rhinoceros beetle.”

—-

When was the last time he saw a rhinoceros beetle?

He hasn’t gone bug catching in years. Not even when he was 17 and still living around here, because of his resentment for the place that had boiled over once he turned 18. The apathy and lack of sentimental value towards the town he grew up in started when he was about 13 years old, the moody teenager phase.

When was the last time he’s had a home-cooked meal?

The fresh scent of meat cooking coming from the kitchen, where Serena stood wearing an apron.

When was the last time he went star gazing?

Ace enthusiastically pointing at a constellation before rambling all about its meaning and backstory—Xavier never remembered it, but he never got tired of hearing it.

When was the last time he’s gone fishing?

Katelyn holding a fishing pole while Xavier sat by her and placed bait on her hook for her, explaining exactly how to reel a fish in.

Those were all the things most important to him back then. But now, they’re all gone.

But he was the one who made them disappear, didn’t he?

He was the one who chose to stop.

It was his fault.

Xavier turned away and headed towards the inn he would stay at. He was a different person now, not the starry eyed kid who saw everything around him as something to be savored. Who didn’t mind inhaling the suffocating air.

It wasn’t a bad thing his values were completely rearranged.


The sun was high in the sky. Completely at odds with the day’s events. Xavier drearily made his way to the funeral venue. Katelyn didn’t tell him where it was, but there was only one church in the town, so he could assume that was where it was.

Xavier didn’t register when he entered. He was too out of it to care anymore.

He hadn’t been here in a long while. Ace was his older brother, of course he looked up to him. It was difficult to imagine this town without him.

Yet he left.

Yet he wasn’t there before he died.

Xavier loved Ace, he’ll admit that. He’ll admit Ace was the last thing in this town that made him apathetic rather than contemptful towards that town.

He loved him and he left him.

Xavier didn’t know if he could live with that.

It wasn’t until a sharp pain came to his cheek that he remembered where he was.

“You.” Serena scowled, glaring up at him with tears in her eyes. “You have some nerve showing your face around here after disappearing for, what? 5 years?”

“…Serena.” Xavier’s expression flashed with a brief recognition, his voice trembling from the hatred he could feel radiating off of his sister. “Isn’t it a good thing I came?” He spoke with a masquerade of calm.

“Who do you think you are?” Serena’s eyes flashed with anger, “Walking back into our lives when /you’re/ the one who chose to leave.”

Xavier had no answer.

Serena seethed, “Quit it with the silence. It’s not going to help you.”

“What do you want me to say?!” Xavier snapped, “You can’t seriously think it would be better if I didn’t come to /our/ brother’s fuenral, did you?”

“Ace wouldn’t want /you/ to attend after you ran away to the city like a brat—after /you/ left us behind after we already had an unsteady support—”

“It’s not my—”

“It /is/. You chose to leave, and had no pressing reason to do so. Only that you got tired of this backwater town—we /all/ were, just you were the only one who had the smarts to get out of here!” Serena didn’t hold back. “And you didn’t even try to keep in contact!”


Xavier’s hands trembled—he couldn’t tell if it was rage or fear. “Serena—you know I—”


Katelyn stepped between the two. “That’s enough!” She shouted out, “C’mon, you two are older than me. You both need to be more mature.”

“Don’t tell me to ‘calm down’.” Serena scoffed, “How’d /he/ even figure out Ace was dead.”

“…I called him.”

“You /what/?!” Serena’s icy glare suddenly turned to Katelyn. “Are you serious—after what he’s done—how’d you even come in contact with—”

Katelyn put a finger to her mouth and shushed her, “Be quiet. The funeral’s starting.”

Serena pushed aside her anger for a moment, but she didn’t hold back a curt glare she shot in Xavier’s direction.

The funeral passed by and was held together by nothing but suffocating tension and trembling gazes. As Xavier stared blankly at his brother’s funeral portrait, Serena bore holes in the back of his head. He pretended it didn’t bother him. He knew he deserved it.

The pressure lessened as the funeral went on, but Xavier found he didn’t deserve it.

He realized a moment too late that he forgot to bring flowers. So as white lilies piled on Ace’s casket, guilt coursed through his veins.

He failed Ace.

He failed everyone.


Xavier was the first to leave Ace’s funeral when it ended. He didn’t know the people there enough to exchange pleasantries. And quite frankly, he was sure no one there wanted to speak with him.

His flight wasn’t until tomorrow morning. He still had a lot of time to spare. As the cold wind clung to his skin, he walked to the forest. He remembered, there was a clearing somewhere in there he used to play in with his siblings.

He found it, albeit with difficulty. It has been a long time since he’s been here after all. He stared up at the sky.

It’s been too long since he’s seen those bright beautiful stars.

Ace liked that constellation. Xavier forgot what that constellation was, exactly, but he remembers that pattern. He remembers that during the time in which it was in the sky, Ace was a babbling mess.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

Xavier’s head snapped up.

It was Katelyn, and Serena was closely behind her.

“…Remembering old times, huh?” Serena said with lingering resentment. “…Man, it’s hard to still be mad at you.”

“Oh, no you can keep being mad. I deserve it by all means.”

Serena smirked, “Can’t believe you forgot to bring flowers. What kind of guy forgets to bring flowers to a funeral?”

“Oh /come on/!”

They slipped to normalcy quickly. Maybe too quickly.

Katelyn smiled next to us, “It’s hard to believe we forgave you so quickly.” She said quietly. “I think after my phone call with you, I regretted being so harsh.”

“I understand why you left—even if I’m mad you did. Even if I don’t think it was right” Katelyn wiped her eyes. Serena nodded.

Xavier blinked. “Thanks.”

The forgiveness was surprising.

➻ 1996 words

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{ p a r t 3 : c r i t i q u i t a i r e }

Concept:
The concept itself of the story is REALLY COOL and I absolutely loved how you executed it! I feel like I don’t see stories with shapeshifters super often, and I really enjoy the portrayal in this story and the horror-ish aspects are really cool! I don’t have any critiques for the concept itself, and it could turn into something even more amazing than it already is with a few tweaks!

Pacing/Flow:
It feels like it’s moving a bit quickly in some parts. While I know that this is probably a given seeing as we’re constrained to 2000 words, it’s one thing to keep note of. There aren't any points that feel awkward or difficult to read, which is good, it’s mostly just the fact that some parts feel a bit difficult to follow which also affects the clarity of the piece. To point out a few specific parts that feel weird to me: the beginning feels a bit fast, and the short segment with the main character’s brother.

Clarity:
I do think that clarity is your weakest point. As I mentioned above, some places go a bit fast, which makes it feel a bit tricky to follow. This is something that feels a bit common in writing styles like yours, which I feel is due to the fact that there’s a LOT of descriptions, which isn’t bad, but sometimes descriptions mean that the actual meaning and events of the story get buried. Less is more sometimes, so there’s some areas that can use tightening. You also start immediately jumping into action. While there’s nothing wrong with this approach, and really, it works best for a story like yours, I still feel that a bit of background, while maybe not at the beginning, can do you good. It especially feels difficult to understand what exactly is happening with the rabbit, and I found that I needed to reread it a lot to understand just what was happening there. It also feels a bit difficult to understand what it is that the character wants.

Tone:
Something that I really enjoy is the tone, and the way you build the tone is definitely the best part of the story! The word choice is powerful and the description does a good job at amplifying the mood created in the story! The tension and suspense is handled really great, and your word choice never strays away from the mood or contradicts with the emotions that the reader is meant to feel, which is a common issue I see in stories, so it’s great that yours doesn’t! Also, the second person (I believe that’s the right one?) perspective is SO COOL and it works so well with the story as well and makes it feel more personal and in turn results in a greater emotional impact!

Overall, this is a really great story! Your main issues come in the pacing and clarity rather than the concept of the story itself, which is already really good! I really enjoyed critiquing your story, and I’d love to read a revised version!

➻ 515 words

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➻ 3035 words total

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✧┊ March 11th - Word War 4
Robyn (PiratePandaFootie) ┊ 482 words ┊ status

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