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- technj2009
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
⋆ ̊. Echoes of Emotion ⋆˚࿔ ~ ꜱᴀꜰꜰʀᴏɴ'ꜱ ᴄʀɪᴛɪQᴜɪᴛᴀɪʀᴇ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇ
✐ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘɪʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ꜰᴇᴡ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴘᴏᴇᴍꜱ ✏
~ you can view these in my writing folder: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1285795317/
❦ “Captured Tears” ·˚ ༘ ~ ᴠɪʟʟᴀɴᴇʟʟᴇ
Feeling emotions inside me
Much too much to weigh
I am captured by anxiety
My voice screeches a plea
I will never obey
Feeling emotions inside me
Thought I broke free
Hope for someday, but
I am captured by anxiety
Thrown to a different reality
Vanished, I can’t say —
Feeling emotions inside me
Locked with no key
Forced to convey
I am captured by anxiety
You were a fake family
Maybe I want to be away
Feeling emotions inside me
I am captured by anxiety
❦ “Unreal Reality” ·˚ ༘ ~ ɴᴏ ʀʜʏᴍᴇ ꜱᴄʜᴇᴍᴇ
You finally got to me
Victim after victim
It ripped my heart, punched my guts
But I cannot show it
I cannot speak
No words will ever convey
This feeling, yet no feeling
Left numb after the pain
You chained me down
Will I ever break free
But I have a reputation to keep
I’ve lost my personality
Do minds heal from wounds
Do hearts heal from wounds
My soul inside me
Yet ever so fleeting
The outside impression
No signs of what lies within
The most perfect are the most broken
***The next poem is ekphrastic, so please view my Writing Folder for the picture in order to better understand it!***
❦ “A Caged Sphere” ·˚ ༘ ~ ᴇᴋᴘʜʀᴀꜱᴛɪᴄ
A blank space
Life of restriction
Such empty embrace
Left blinded in her face
Lies, it is all fiction
Hope for one day
But peace is assumed
Said I will meet you halfway —
Led astray, left her world gray
Though the quiet consumes
Outcasted, forgotten inside
Go home, go rot
Lost persistence and denied
Cried until she died
Through words and actions, she was shot
One step closer
So close, yet so far
No one could save her
Now all out, just another exposer
She rests among the stars
❦ “Realm of Fear” ·˚ ༘ ~ ᴄᴏɴꜱɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴇᴛᴇʀ
In truth, I lied to keep me safe
Lost the sense of inner goodness
That raging stare, it shoots me down
Feeling stuck on nightly screaming
The world can see your heart of stone
Forced to run from outer feelings
The fire burns within my rage
Thoughts go sailing over quarrels
We’re far from perfect, tried to hide
Many nights that trapped my sorrow
The pain it brought had harsh control
Left to faint in hopeless places
✎ 3.6.2026 ~ Daily #6 ❀ ~ 361 words total ౨ৎ
⌗ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀꜰꜰʀᴏɴ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ ⋆˚࿔
✐ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘɪʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ꜰᴇᴡ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴘᴏᴇᴍꜱ ✏
~ you can view these in my writing folder: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1285795317/
❦ “Captured Tears” ·˚ ༘ ~ ᴠɪʟʟᴀɴᴇʟʟᴇ
Feeling emotions inside me
Much too much to weigh
I am captured by anxiety
My voice screeches a plea
I will never obey
Feeling emotions inside me
Thought I broke free
Hope for someday, but
I am captured by anxiety
Thrown to a different reality
Vanished, I can’t say —
Feeling emotions inside me
Locked with no key
Forced to convey
I am captured by anxiety
You were a fake family
Maybe I want to be away
Feeling emotions inside me
I am captured by anxiety
❦ “Unreal Reality” ·˚ ༘ ~ ɴᴏ ʀʜʏᴍᴇ ꜱᴄʜᴇᴍᴇ
You finally got to me
Victim after victim
It ripped my heart, punched my guts
But I cannot show it
I cannot speak
No words will ever convey
This feeling, yet no feeling
Left numb after the pain
You chained me down
Will I ever break free
But I have a reputation to keep
I’ve lost my personality
Do minds heal from wounds
Do hearts heal from wounds
My soul inside me
Yet ever so fleeting
The outside impression
No signs of what lies within
The most perfect are the most broken
***The next poem is ekphrastic, so please view my Writing Folder for the picture in order to better understand it!***
❦ “A Caged Sphere” ·˚ ༘ ~ ᴇᴋᴘʜʀᴀꜱᴛɪᴄ
A blank space
Life of restriction
Such empty embrace
Left blinded in her face
Lies, it is all fiction
Hope for one day
But peace is assumed
Said I will meet you halfway —
Led astray, left her world gray
Though the quiet consumes
Outcasted, forgotten inside
Go home, go rot
Lost persistence and denied
Cried until she died
Through words and actions, she was shot
One step closer
So close, yet so far
No one could save her
Now all out, just another exposer
She rests among the stars
❦ “Realm of Fear” ·˚ ༘ ~ ᴄᴏɴꜱɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴇᴛᴇʀ
In truth, I lied to keep me safe
Lost the sense of inner goodness
That raging stare, it shoots me down
Feeling stuck on nightly screaming
The world can see your heart of stone
Forced to run from outer feelings
The fire burns within my rage
Thoughts go sailing over quarrels
We’re far from perfect, tried to hide
Many nights that trapped my sorrow
The pain it brought had harsh control
Left to faint in hopeless places
✎ 3.6.2026 ~ Daily #6 ❀ ~ 361 words total ౨ৎ
⌗ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀꜰꜰʀᴏɴ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ ⋆˚࿔
- Milkysplash
-
Scratcher
1000+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026

⋆ ⊹ ┈┈┈┈┈「 ☆ 」┈┈┈┈┈ ⊹ ⋆
✧┊ March 6th - Critique for Hope
378 words ┊ 400 points
Hope's piece - English GCSE practice (no link because I think this needs to be spared)┊ Skylar's piece - Weekly 1, Part 3
378 words ┊ 400 points
Hope's piece - English GCSE practice (no link because I think this needs to be spared)┊ Skylar's piece - Weekly 1, Part 3
⋆ ⊹ ┈┈┈┈┈「 ☆ 」┈┈┈┈┈ ⊹ ⋆
Hi Hope! I would say thank you for letting me critique this piece but it’s not really a piece. Anyways, I will try my best to understand the weird mark schemes and hopefully provide helpful feedback.
Content
In terms of content, you’ve covered quite a bit of what the mark scheme has said, and you’ve clearly identified the similarities and differences between the two texts. Also, it’s structured really nicely in a way that an examiner would probably appreciate (I don’t know, I’ve never marked a GCSE English paper…) and it’s quite clear as to where marks for the comparison and content can be given.
Structure and Marking
Like I said before, I really liked how the response was structured - the examiner would probably appreciate that since you’re less likely to lose marks in the actual exam! Each paragraph generally has a good structure and follows one idea. There are a lot of quotes in each paragraph, but I don’t think that would be much of an issue since you’ve chosen relevant quotes to the question and made comparisons in each of your paragraphs.
The one paragraph I have a bone to pick with is the second paragraph - it feels like you’re talking about two disconnected ideas here, and you’re trying to compare the eco-friendly aspect of eating insects to the idea that there’s no difference in protein output between eating insects and not eating insects. I can see why you did it, but the ideas just feel a bit disconnected here. I’d say you could probably have split this paragraph up and put the sentence talking about Text B in the first paragraph (since that also deals with the eco-friendly aspects of eating insects) and you could move the bit about Text C into the fourth paragraph since that also talks about the aspect of raising insects on a commercial scale.
Overall
I think that this piece would get you a solid 5-6 marks in the exam (and my very limited understanding of your mark scheme)! The main thing that would be useful to work on would be more comparison, to which I can’t really advise because I have no idea how your cursed exam board does these things. (Although every exam board is cursed I swear…)
- silverlynx-
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
Writing Comp Entry
This is a super rough draft, and I honestly just wanted to get some of it out of the way and just edit it loads - I also needed something for today's daily!
My name is Selene. I am a moon goddess. I ride the moon across the sky when the sun sets each night. I live in a palace nestled high amongst the clouds. I am the sister of the sun god and the dawn goddess. And tomorrow is my wedding day.
_________________________________________________________________________
I wake to a gentle knock on my door. I lift my head blearily and blink sleep out of my eyes.
“Yeah?” I reply groggily, hauling myself out of bed and padding towards the door. Then I catch sight of something. And I remember.
A wedding dress.
It hangs on the back of my door, almost mocking me with its beauty. Heaps of lace trail from a delicately embroidered bodice, all sewn in a beautiful pure ivory. Such an alluring picture for such a poisonous event.
Today is my wedding day.
_________________________________________________________________________
I sweep aside tendrils of lace to grip the door handle and swing the door open, plastering a smile on my face.
“Morning!” I exclaim, swallowing the dread pooling in my gut, flashing a brilliant smile at her.
She takes hold of my delicate hands and gazes at me through her warm green eyes. My mother is still as beautiful as she was when I was a baby. She has lustrous golden hair that falls in perfect waves down her back and a tall, elegant frame. I was elated when she arrived at my palace. I barely saw my parents growing up, but I love my mother with all my heart. And then she broke the amazing news. I was betrothed to Apollo. This was my wedding, and I hadn’t even met my fiance and my mother knew before me. As you can imagine, I was delighted.
“Selene,” She greets me , “You must be so excited!” A smile crinkles the corners of her eyes as she waits for me to reply.
I smile at her brightly, desperately searching for how to reply.
“Yes! I can’t wait.” I spit out, inwardly cringing.
A servant rushes meekly to Mother’s side.
“Breakfast is served,” she informs us, dropping into a low curtsey.
“Thank you, Phoebe.” I respond. I have known the servants here since I was a baby, and they are all friends to me, not servants. However, they all fear Mother because of my father. Hyperion. He is a Titan, the immense deities who preceded the Olympians. And my father is certainly not an exception.
This is a super rough draft, and I honestly just wanted to get some of it out of the way and just edit it loads - I also needed something for today's daily!
My name is Selene. I am a moon goddess. I ride the moon across the sky when the sun sets each night. I live in a palace nestled high amongst the clouds. I am the sister of the sun god and the dawn goddess. And tomorrow is my wedding day.
_________________________________________________________________________
I wake to a gentle knock on my door. I lift my head blearily and blink sleep out of my eyes.
“Yeah?” I reply groggily, hauling myself out of bed and padding towards the door. Then I catch sight of something. And I remember.
A wedding dress.
It hangs on the back of my door, almost mocking me with its beauty. Heaps of lace trail from a delicately embroidered bodice, all sewn in a beautiful pure ivory. Such an alluring picture for such a poisonous event.
Today is my wedding day.
_________________________________________________________________________
I sweep aside tendrils of lace to grip the door handle and swing the door open, plastering a smile on my face.
“Morning!” I exclaim, swallowing the dread pooling in my gut, flashing a brilliant smile at her.
She takes hold of my delicate hands and gazes at me through her warm green eyes. My mother is still as beautiful as she was when I was a baby. She has lustrous golden hair that falls in perfect waves down her back and a tall, elegant frame. I was elated when she arrived at my palace. I barely saw my parents growing up, but I love my mother with all my heart. And then she broke the amazing news. I was betrothed to Apollo. This was my wedding, and I hadn’t even met my fiance and my mother knew before me. As you can imagine, I was delighted.
“Selene,” She greets me , “You must be so excited!” A smile crinkles the corners of her eyes as she waits for me to reply.
I smile at her brightly, desperately searching for how to reply.
“Yes! I can’t wait.” I spit out, inwardly cringing.
A servant rushes meekly to Mother’s side.
“Breakfast is served,” she informs us, dropping into a low curtsey.
“Thank you, Phoebe.” I respond. I have known the servants here since I was a baby, and they are all friends to me, not servants. However, they all fear Mother because of my father. Hyperion. He is a Titan, the immense deities who preceded the Olympians. And my father is certainly not an exception.
- silverlynx-
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
Weekly 1
Part 1 - Character Sheet
Selene:
Age: Immortal, however looks like she is in her early-mid 20s
Time Period: Ancient Greece
Occupation: The moon goddess - she rides her moon chariot across the sky every night to awaken and end night each day.
Residence: A private palace, nestled high amongst the clouds above Olympus.
Physical Appearance: Long silver hair, pale skin, blue eye, delicate form
Personality: She is a polite and shy girl, as she grew up very isolated in her palace, with only her mother, servants and horses for company. She has a very curious mind and is very creative, always painting on huge canvases or pouring her ideas out through ink and paper. As she grew up away from others, she is quite innocent and extremely gentle.
Strengths: She has a bright mind when it comes to academics and also excels in other creative areas such as cooking and baking. She can play the kithara (an Ancient Greek instrument) extremely well and loves to compose her own music. She is naturally very kind and empathetic, but also has a healthy level of self-respect/
Weaknesses: She loves to please others, and is scared to speak her mind if she thinks others won’t like what she’s saying. She is quite gullible and will believe almost every word spoken to her, and although it is quite endearing, it isn’t useful for when she has to venture out into society - marriage.
Likes: Music, her horses, peace, nature.
Dislikes: Conflict, learning etiquette from her mother, marriage expectations.
Theia: Her mother, goddess of sight. She is generous and loving, but a little overbearing and overprotective of her daughter.
Hyperion: Her father, a cruel and arrogant Titan who never visits his daughter.
Part 2
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1151458367/ look inside!
The top right image shows Selene gazing out wistfully, perhaps a picture of her gazing out at her mortal lover, Endymion, in the Greek myth. In the picture below, she is shown guiding her pegasi through the night sky, conveying how she rides the moon across the sky each night. The middle picture depicts how she controls the moon, holding it in her palm. She is also depicted in flowy and extravagant clothing, reflecting her whimsical nature. The top middle picture depicts a person painting, highlighting her creative pursuits and love for art. In the bottom middle picture you can see a person playing a kithara which is an Ancient Greek instrument similar to a lyre - she was an expert at this instrument and many others. The left middle picture shows piles of papers, conveying her thirst for knowledge and creativity. The pictures of the moon and the night sky depict both where she lives and where her power resides.
Part 1 - Character Sheet
Selene:
Age: Immortal, however looks like she is in her early-mid 20s
Time Period: Ancient Greece
Occupation: The moon goddess - she rides her moon chariot across the sky every night to awaken and end night each day.
Residence: A private palace, nestled high amongst the clouds above Olympus.
Physical Appearance: Long silver hair, pale skin, blue eye, delicate form
Personality: She is a polite and shy girl, as she grew up very isolated in her palace, with only her mother, servants and horses for company. She has a very curious mind and is very creative, always painting on huge canvases or pouring her ideas out through ink and paper. As she grew up away from others, she is quite innocent and extremely gentle.
Strengths: She has a bright mind when it comes to academics and also excels in other creative areas such as cooking and baking. She can play the kithara (an Ancient Greek instrument) extremely well and loves to compose her own music. She is naturally very kind and empathetic, but also has a healthy level of self-respect/
Weaknesses: She loves to please others, and is scared to speak her mind if she thinks others won’t like what she’s saying. She is quite gullible and will believe almost every word spoken to her, and although it is quite endearing, it isn’t useful for when she has to venture out into society - marriage.
Likes: Music, her horses, peace, nature.
Dislikes: Conflict, learning etiquette from her mother, marriage expectations.
Theia: Her mother, goddess of sight. She is generous and loving, but a little overbearing and overprotective of her daughter.
Hyperion: Her father, a cruel and arrogant Titan who never visits his daughter.
Part 2
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1151458367/ look inside!
The top right image shows Selene gazing out wistfully, perhaps a picture of her gazing out at her mortal lover, Endymion, in the Greek myth. In the picture below, she is shown guiding her pegasi through the night sky, conveying how she rides the moon across the sky each night. The middle picture depicts how she controls the moon, holding it in her palm. She is also depicted in flowy and extravagant clothing, reflecting her whimsical nature. The top middle picture depicts a person painting, highlighting her creative pursuits and love for art. In the bottom middle picture you can see a person playing a kithara which is an Ancient Greek instrument similar to a lyre - she was an expert at this instrument and many others. The left middle picture shows piles of papers, conveying her thirst for knowledge and creativity. The pictures of the moon and the night sky depict both where she lives and where her power resides.
- risinqmoon
-
Scratcher
5 posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
word war with cyr0-st4t
“In the presence of ghosts, there was only one thing to do…”
338 words
–
It was to scream, get out of there, and record a video. We were both trying to get some money out of this after all. I grabbed my camera and hit record. Almost instantly, I swear I saw a figure run past.
“Did you see that?” I asked my partner in this place.
“No, what was it..?”
That voice was not my partners’. I looked over to them only to not see them there.
“What?” I thought to myself. This was not good. Hopefully it was just a prank.. right?
I heard a laughing sound in the distance. That was definitely not my partner this time, and i was sure of it.
I completely forgot about the recording at this point. I only remembered when i knocked into something, and my camera fell to the floor. I ended the footage, but decided to review it to see if anything was caught.
Hm.. a ghost, that definitely was. A black figure ran past the camera. When i dropped to the floor, the footage got staticky. That was it. I looked around, to continue looking for my partner. Panicking, I ran into more things until I was very dizzy. This is too much…
I heard even more laughing. What was this..??? I’m so scared..
Until I heard my partner again. Where are they..
“Are you there?” I asked, hoping for any reply.
“Yes! Come now!” The voice was a bit different, but i trusted it. At least, a little bit.
I walked over to the spot hesitantly. As i approached, I realized this voie was still not my partners’. Oh no..
“Come please!’ that was def them this time. They sounded scared and frantic. I was too.
I sprinted over to them. I finally saw what the thing was and where my partner was.
“I-I what..?” I couldnt believe my eyes. In front of me was my partner, tied to a chair with the black figure i saw earlier, standing behind them.
“Who are you?” I asked, frantic and panicked.
“In the presence of ghosts, there was only one thing to do…”
338 words
–
It was to scream, get out of there, and record a video. We were both trying to get some money out of this after all. I grabbed my camera and hit record. Almost instantly, I swear I saw a figure run past.
“Did you see that?” I asked my partner in this place.
“No, what was it..?”
That voice was not my partners’. I looked over to them only to not see them there.
“What?” I thought to myself. This was not good. Hopefully it was just a prank.. right?
I heard a laughing sound in the distance. That was definitely not my partner this time, and i was sure of it.
I completely forgot about the recording at this point. I only remembered when i knocked into something, and my camera fell to the floor. I ended the footage, but decided to review it to see if anything was caught.
Hm.. a ghost, that definitely was. A black figure ran past the camera. When i dropped to the floor, the footage got staticky. That was it. I looked around, to continue looking for my partner. Panicking, I ran into more things until I was very dizzy. This is too much…
I heard even more laughing. What was this..??? I’m so scared..
Until I heard my partner again. Where are they..
“Are you there?” I asked, hoping for any reply.
“Yes! Come now!” The voice was a bit different, but i trusted it. At least, a little bit.
I walked over to the spot hesitantly. As i approached, I realized this voie was still not my partners’. Oh no..
“Come please!’ that was def them this time. They sounded scared and frantic. I was too.
I sprinted over to them. I finally saw what the thing was and where my partner was.
“I-I what..?” I couldnt believe my eyes. In front of me was my partner, tied to a chair with the black figure i saw earlier, standing behind them.
“Who are you?” I asked, frantic and panicked.
- Milkysplash
-
Scratcher
1000+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026

⋆ ⊹ ┈┈┈┈┈「 ☆ 」┈┈┈┈┈ ⊹ ⋆
✧┊ Characters - Weekly 1
x words ┊ 0 points
I'm doing this weekly a third time? Yes. Yes I am. I need to sacrifice Renée. So here she is!
x words ┊ 0 points
I'm doing this weekly a third time? Yes. Yes I am. I need to sacrifice Renée. So here she is!
⋆ ⊹ ┈┈┈┈┈「 ☆ 」┈┈┈┈┈ ⊹ ⋆
✧┊Part 1
442/200 words
442/200 words
Basic Info
Name: Renée Johanssen
Preferred Name: Renée
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Occupation: Paramedic
Volunteer Roles: Foster parent
Birthday: 07 June
Appearance
Renée has wavy ginger hair with green eyes and light skin. She’s usually seen wearing shirts and jeans when not on duty, and dresses like you would expect a thirty one year old mother of a toddler to. She can also appear quite sleepy since she works unsociable and irregular hours on the regular, and also cares for a three year old daughter.
Personality
Renée is driven by her desire to help others around her, and she comes across as caring and kind. Renée may be soft-spoken and may or may not have mastered the pleading look on her face with Robert, but she can be loud and assertive when she needs to, especially when dealing with combative patients. It’s a skill she has had to learn in her line of work. Despite her impulsive nature to care for everyone who she sees needs help, Renée can and does plan ahead. Her impulsive actions usually have no plan, and she is not good at making up plans on the fly. But planning in advance is something she can do. She’s super duper organised and has binders filled with everything at home, and she is very particular about keeping her binders neat and tidy.
Renée also runs on caffeine, as you might expect a mother to a three year old toddler and emergency service worker would. She drinks coffee. Despite the tiredness, she loves her job and she loves her family very much.
Relationships
Robert Johanssen: Her husband, who is a lawyer. He loves Renée, but also is somewhat tired of his antics. Nevertheless, he works regular hours and so ends up managing a lot of the childcare for Ally when Renée is at work since she works irregular hours.
Alison Johanssen (affectionately known as Ally): Renée’s three year old toddler who she loves very much. Ally acts about as well as you’d expect a three year old to, and she’s probably given Renée far too many headaches to count. Is absolutely fascinated with the stars and will do anything to go out and see them.
Illariya Marshall: Renée’s partner while on duty as a paramedic. Illariya is 29 years old, and unlike Renée, can and does work on the fly. Illariya and Renée are quite close.
Rachel Torres: Rachel is the social worker who typically meets with Renée and her family to handle foster placements. Rachel and Renée are somewhat friends, although their relationship is very much professional in nature - they haven’t quite yet gotten to being just friends yet.
⋆ ⊹ ┈┈┈┈┈「 ☆ 」┈┈┈┈┈ ⊹ ⋆
✧┊Part 2
399/100 words
399/100 words

Star of Life - the star of life represents Renée’s profession, as a member of the emergency medical services. It also represents her desire to help people and that she chose a profession where she could help people when they most needed it. (She also still has no idea what drove her to end up working as a paramedic since she’s someone who likes to plan ahead… but she stays calm under pressure, so there’s that?)
Stethoscope, ID badge, pen, etc - what Renée normally has with her at work. Instead of scrubs, she’ll wear her paramedic uniform, but aside from that, this is what she’d normally bring and have on her person at work.
Emergency department - represents the fast-paced job she has, and also one of the most frequent places she visits (for work, of course!) and she is very familiar with the emergency department of Sunshine Bay. She’s also absolutely terrified of something happening to Ally and having to come into the emergency department as a concerned, half-panicking parent because she knows every child will have an accident and it's just a matter of time until Ally has one.
Children’s hospital ward - represents the medical aspect to her life being a paramedic, but also represents her love for children (not just her adorable three year old toddler!) since she’s also a foster parent and she also absolutely loves taking care of children. She’s sorry for them, since many of them have probably had a really bad accident or are coming from places where they weren’t treated well, but she loves working with children nonetheless!
City by the sea - represents Sunshine Bay, where Renée is resident! She spends quite a lot of her time down at Marina Bay and the bay area in general.
Sunrise - Renée’s favourite part of the night shift. Not only does it mean that her day’s almost over, it’s also a very pretty reward after a long night of hard work and running around.
The Cat - Renée really likes finding strays and she is so impulsive. She found a cat on the side of the road and because she’s one of those people who has a desire to help everyone, her family now has a cat now. Robert just kind of had to put up with it. Her toddler named the cat Scruff. The cat’s actual name is something different, but it’s known affectionately as Scruff. (the incident in question)
⋆ ⊹ ┈┈┈┈┈「 ☆ 」┈┈┈┈┈ ⊹ ⋆
✧┊Part 3
x words
x words
⋆ ⊹ ┈┈┈┈┈「 ☆ 」┈┈┈┈┈ ⊹ ⋆
✧┊Part 4
x words
x words
- opheliio
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
crit for fini
a strong, punchy start with the short first sentence. the other two sentences in this opener are weaker, weighed down by obscure vocab words: petrous refers to the bone around the inner ear (is the steel made of skulls?); renege is a verb and, though i understand what you are going for with the word, a noun would sharpen the sense of betrayal by the utopia; calumny is the word that really took me out of reading in order to find a definition, and with its more common synonyms i don’t understand the word choice. tightening your word choice in this opener could further the narrator’s sensations of shackling and shattering. in first person, consider the mental impacts of imprisonment and betrayal — maybe the character would turn to big pretentious words for comfort in their captivity, but either way the word choice should be intentional on your part as the author. i do think there is something effective in the contrast between the simple language used by the narrator to describe their current circumstances and the more complicated language of their reflection on the past.
what really draws me in are the hints at the world — a utopia that has shattered and physically constrained the narrator, “the masquerade” as a collective with social power over the narrator.
hints to the narrator — vocab makes me think scholar of some sort, poet maybe, who is imprisoned and indignant about it.
a little more vocab stuff here, sorry: din particularly means loud, large, long sound, so tiny din presents me with the sounds of a chaotic streetscape or block party, only at the scale of ants, which contrasts the way the sound is introduced in the previous sentence, as a short, discrete event with a beginning and end. inferno is a nice word, bringing to mind unbearable heat, torture, eternity, but also the loud crackling of a large fire — am i meant to interpret the cell/prison structure as especially loud?
nice continuation of the contrast between the narrator’s initial relaying of present occurrences and their more complex interpretation/response to it.
so the narrator is named dante — an intentional reference to the divine comedy?
more hints to the world with guards and a swear invoking “god,” as well as to the timeline of the narrator’s imprisonment; clearly they have been here a while, to think of something as “typical” or wish not to speak to “another officer.”
i’m looking for more clarity in the physicality of this scene — i had been imagining the narrator in a barred cell, but of course that doesn’t make sense with them getting hit in the face. indicating where the characters are in relation to one another and to the walls and other furniture of the scene, even through just a few words, would clarify the physical orientation and could also add to the power dynamics of the interaction.
“i can taste iron in my mouth” is a strong image, very stark and detached and almost shocked in its lack of emotion. “a fist meets my face” is similarly detached, and together they create a particular voice for the character that i think you should lean into more.
this is the first hint at an age or physical appearance of the narrator, with the guard demeaning them as “child.”
alright, another name, woecliffe! and confirmation the narrator is in a prison, one that is particularly treacherous. “inferno” again, this time spoken aloud, makes me think the reference is notable.
i’m having a hard time connecting with this narrator or pinning their characterization in place — are they a betrayed scholar, as i thought from the opening; an innocent stoic; some sort of rebellious spirit who spits cliches back at prison guards? narration and interaction both contribute to characterization, but throughout this excerpt i get glimpses of several conflicting archetypes.
suddenly is a weak word, and the sentence better fits the previously established voice without it.
the narrator’s difference in reaction to the other guard and this new officer displays their difference in rank effectively!
the other guards knowing who the narrator is is another interesting bit of characterization.
a nice bit of ragebait showing how close the narrator’s emotions are to the surface, even if so much of his narration attempts to keep them hidden at a distance. the narrator continues to insist internally that they are innocent, but i feel i’m not supposed to believe them.
a nice offer and denial back and forth. more hints towards the masquerade, which i have to admit remains the most intriguing aspect of this world to me even with so few reveals. i’m again wondering where the characters are positioned in the space, as well as how the first guard is reacting to this back and forth.
on the whole, this scene does well to establish the narrator’s status quo, set up a change in the status quo, and hint towards the world beyond the cell. intentional word choice and less-cliched dialogue would better allow the reader to connect to the narrator and empathize with their plight.
i enjoyed reading and forming my thoughts on this piece. thank you for letting me take a critical look at it, finley, i hope my feedback is helpful as you go forward with this story <33
I am shackled. Not by the chains of petrous steel, but the reneges of a utopia. Gray walls bind my shattered self, and all I can recall now is calumny by the masquerade.
a strong, punchy start with the short first sentence. the other two sentences in this opener are weaker, weighed down by obscure vocab words: petrous refers to the bone around the inner ear (is the steel made of skulls?); renege is a verb and, though i understand what you are going for with the word, a noun would sharpen the sense of betrayal by the utopia; calumny is the word that really took me out of reading in order to find a definition, and with its more common synonyms i don’t understand the word choice. tightening your word choice in this opener could further the narrator’s sensations of shackling and shattering. in first person, consider the mental impacts of imprisonment and betrayal — maybe the character would turn to big pretentious words for comfort in their captivity, but either way the word choice should be intentional on your part as the author. i do think there is something effective in the contrast between the simple language used by the narrator to describe their current circumstances and the more complicated language of their reflection on the past.
what really draws me in are the hints at the world — a utopia that has shattered and physically constrained the narrator, “the masquerade” as a collective with social power over the narrator.
hints to the narrator — vocab makes me think scholar of some sort, poet maybe, who is imprisoned and indignant about it.
I hear a noise. A tiny din in this inferno.
a little more vocab stuff here, sorry: din particularly means loud, large, long sound, so tiny din presents me with the sounds of a chaotic streetscape or block party, only at the scale of ants, which contrasts the way the sound is introduced in the previous sentence, as a short, discrete event with a beginning and end. inferno is a nice word, bringing to mind unbearable heat, torture, eternity, but also the loud crackling of a large fire — am i meant to interpret the cell/prison structure as especially loud?
nice continuation of the contrast between the narrator’s initial relaying of present occurrences and their more complex interpretation/response to it.
“Dante, someone wants to talk to you. And put on a smile, for god’s sake. It’s an officer.”
Another guard trying to demand verve out of me. How typical of these supervisors.
“No” I grunt. I wasn’t going to wash my hands of guilt in front of another officer, especially when they were never dirty in the first place.
so the narrator is named dante — an intentional reference to the divine comedy?
more hints to the world with guards and a swear invoking “god,” as well as to the timeline of the narrator’s imprisonment; clearly they have been here a while, to think of something as “typical” or wish not to speak to “another officer.”
A fist meets my face.
“Don’t be insolent, child!” the guard growls. I can taste iron in my mouth. I stagger back, leaning against the stone wall.
i’m looking for more clarity in the physicality of this scene — i had been imagining the narrator in a barred cell, but of course that doesn’t make sense with them getting hit in the face. indicating where the characters are in relation to one another and to the walls and other furniture of the scene, even through just a few words, would clarify the physical orientation and could also add to the power dynamics of the interaction.
“i can taste iron in my mouth” is a strong image, very stark and detached and almost shocked in its lack of emotion. “a fist meets my face” is similarly detached, and together they create a particular voice for the character that i think you should lean into more.
this is the first hint at an age or physical appearance of the narrator, with the guard demeaning them as “child.”
“You think this is a game? You’re in the prisons of Woecliffe—every refusal has a price.” He steps closer, a glint in his eyes. “You’ll play the part, or you’ll wish you had.”
Despite the blood trickling from my lip, I smirk. “You think your threats scare me? I’ve faced worse than you in this inferno.” A chuckle escapes my mouth.
“You’re a fool to provoke me. This isn’t about fear, kid–it’s your life.”
alright, another name, woecliffe! and confirmation the narrator is in a prison, one that is particularly treacherous. “inferno” again, this time spoken aloud, makes me think the reference is notable.
i’m having a hard time connecting with this narrator or pinning their characterization in place — are they a betrayed scholar, as i thought from the opening; an innocent stoic; some sort of rebellious spirit who spits cliches back at prison guards? narration and interaction both contribute to characterization, but throughout this excerpt i get glimpses of several conflicting archetypes.
Suddenly, the door unlocks. It’s the officer, draped in coins like there’s no shortage of them in Woecliffe. His face is sharp, angular, as if cut from stone, with eyes that gleam like polished obsidian. He surveys the room with a slow gaze, his lips curling further in disdain as his eyes settle on me.
“Dante,” the officer snaps. “Looks like you’ve made quite the impression with the guards here. Most of them knew who you were, despite this being the biggest criminal house in Donus.”
What gibberish. “Impressions are all this place is built on, isn’t it, Officer?” I mumble slightly.
suddenly is a weak word, and the sentence better fits the previously established voice without it.
the narrator’s difference in reaction to the other guard and this new officer displays their difference in rank effectively!
the other guards knowing who the narrator is is another interesting bit of characterization.
“You’re very witty for someone in chains, you know. You see, in Woecliffe, everyone is judged. Even the innocent” the Officer points out, brushing off dust from his cloak’s dark fabric.
“Don’t pretend you care about innocence.” I shout in agony. The only reason I was trapped in this place was because of the masquerade’s false claims. “We’re all just pawns in your game.”
a nice bit of ragebait showing how close the narrator’s emotions are to the surface, even if so much of his narration attempts to keep them hidden at a distance. the narrator continues to insist internally that they are innocent, but i feel i’m not supposed to believe them.
“Perhaps.” The officer smiles. “But that’s not what I’m here to discuss. What if I tell you there’s a way to escape the shackles of your twisted fate? Win the favour of the upper class?”
So many Officers have tried to bribe my loyalty with alluring rewards, yet I fall for none. I know better than to trust them. “No, thank you.” I say, looking straight in the Officer’s eyes. “I’m not interested in whatever you have to offer.”
The Officer looks annoyed. “Child, this is not an offer. It’s an ultimatum. Join me if you ever want to see the outside of these walls again, or you can continue to rot in this cell.”
“Join you? I’m no fool.” I scoff.
Suddenly, his eyes narrow. “Do you think you’re brave? You think I haven’t dealt with others who’ve been wronged by the masquerade?”
a nice offer and denial back and forth. more hints towards the masquerade, which i have to admit remains the most intriguing aspect of this world to me even with so few reveals. i’m again wondering where the characters are positioned in the space, as well as how the first guard is reacting to this back and forth.
on the whole, this scene does well to establish the narrator’s status quo, set up a change in the status quo, and hint towards the world beyond the cell. intentional word choice and less-cliched dialogue would better allow the reader to connect to the narrator and empathize with their plight.
i enjoyed reading and forming my thoughts on this piece. thank you for letting me take a critical look at it, finley, i hope my feedback is helpful as you go forward with this story <33
Last edited by opheliio (March 6, 2026 20:20:14)
- ChueyTheCat
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
Piece for critique || The title for this doc is just “ghosts” and I don't have a better title right now so that's what you're getting || 945 words
New school. New locker combinations. And, of course, new ghosts.
Hm? Oh, yes. I was totally kidding. I meant fancy-schmancy writerly metaphorical specters of the past, not…
Okay, yeah, no. I meant ghost-ghosts, dummy. You know, the kind that shows up after someone dies? The ones that tend to haunt places? Those.
(And no, before you ask, they aren’t here for “unfinished business” or torturing their loved ones from beyond the grave or any of that ridiculous nonsense. Why are they here then, you ask? Golly, I don’t know. Why are you here?)
So anyways, I’m fumbling with my locker, and this ghost sure isn’t helping. He’s leaning against the metal doors and smirking. I can feel that smirk rubbing up against my shoulder blades like a mosquito bite I can’t scratch, and I want to smack it off his little dead face. If, you know, I could smack ghosts.
(Believe me. I’ve tried.)
See, the thing about ghosts is, so few people can see them that they… well, imagine what you would do all day if you were suddenly invisible and intangible. Oh, and deceased. Some of them spend their time trying to pull pranks on the living, which I guess is where the rumors about hauntings come from. Some of them get, like, ghost depression and go sulk in corners. Others, well, others figure that since no one can hear or see them anyway, who cares what they do?
This appears to be the case with my current tormentor, who alternates snarky comments about my locker-opening abilities with snarky comments about the outfit of a girl who happens to walk past, a sappy couple holding hands, and how ugly the new school colors are. It’s a good thing he’s already dead, or I’d have murdered him. If he was anything like this in life, he probably had it coming.
Another thing about ghosts: they’re not hungry for, like, human souls, and they don’t feed off of fear or any of that junk. (Honestly, who comes up with this stuff?)
What they do crave, beyond anything else, is attention. It makes sense when you think about it. I mean, I refer you to my previous question. What would you do all day if you were invisible, intangible, inaudible, and dead?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. Anyways, maybe you’ve been thinking, hey, all this about being able to see ghosts sounds really cool! I wish I could do that.
Well, listen up, buddy, because you really don’t. Imagine having to walk around, day after day, pretending half the people you see don’t exist.
(I hear popular girls are really good at this. The rest of us, not so much.)
Not only does it make you look like a total freak, talking to thin air, but the instant a ghost suspects you can see them, boom. It’s like feeding a stray kitten. You give them a half-eaten can of tuna, and they’ll never leave you alone again. When I was younger, I made the mistake of striking up a conversation with every ghost I met, with the result that they would follow me around and pester me all the time. And don’t even get me started on the rivalries that cropped up. I had to implement a whole freaking schedule for when which ghost could haunt me and for how long, and they’d still squabble like a bunch of little kids over which of them deserved my attention more. And most of them were adults, for goodness’ sake.
So even though I would love to get this ghost to stop mouthing off for a minute, I would rather put up with it than have him start haunting me. And, with a triumphant yank, I finally get the locker open.
The ghost leans a little closer, sticking his head straight through the door. Yeah, it’s kinda weird. You get used to it after a while, though. For the first time, his stupid smirk slips a little, and he scans the interior of the locker before leaning back.
It’s strange, but then, most ghosts are. You stop questioning it once you’ve seen it happen enough times.
I fumble for my textbooks, and the commentary starts up again. Great.
Maybe it gets under my skin a little more than even I want to admit, because I slam the locker door a little harder than necessary. Unfortunately, I don’t move my fingers out of the way fast enough.
“OW!” I howl, sucking my fingers and doing that weird little dance in place thing we all do when we do something idiotic like slam our fingers in our locker (please, don’t even try to deny it; no one’s fooled).
The ghost, of course, is laughing his head off.
“Oh, good going, new girl,” he chuckles, and suddenly I can’t take it anymore. I’ve had enough of this jerk.
“Just shut up, would you?” I snap back.
I pause, the hair on the back of my neck standing up as something in the air changes.
Oops.
For the first time, his eyes focus on me fully, and he leans forward, dead serious. (Ha-ha, yes, I meant the pun.)
“You can see me?” he says.
Which is, of course, the most cliche opening line ever. Honestly. Just because you’re six feet under doesn’t mean you can’t be original.
(It’s also a really stupid question, because how am I supposed to answer that? If I say “no,” I’m obviously lying. If I say “yes,” it leads to a flat, awkward pause where no one knows what to say next.)
So I go with my usual response: I say nothing, turn around, and walk away.
New school. New locker combinations. And, of course, new ghosts.
Hm? Oh, yes. I was totally kidding. I meant fancy-schmancy writerly metaphorical specters of the past, not…
Okay, yeah, no. I meant ghost-ghosts, dummy. You know, the kind that shows up after someone dies? The ones that tend to haunt places? Those.
(And no, before you ask, they aren’t here for “unfinished business” or torturing their loved ones from beyond the grave or any of that ridiculous nonsense. Why are they here then, you ask? Golly, I don’t know. Why are you here?)
So anyways, I’m fumbling with my locker, and this ghost sure isn’t helping. He’s leaning against the metal doors and smirking. I can feel that smirk rubbing up against my shoulder blades like a mosquito bite I can’t scratch, and I want to smack it off his little dead face. If, you know, I could smack ghosts.
(Believe me. I’ve tried.)
See, the thing about ghosts is, so few people can see them that they… well, imagine what you would do all day if you were suddenly invisible and intangible. Oh, and deceased. Some of them spend their time trying to pull pranks on the living, which I guess is where the rumors about hauntings come from. Some of them get, like, ghost depression and go sulk in corners. Others, well, others figure that since no one can hear or see them anyway, who cares what they do?
This appears to be the case with my current tormentor, who alternates snarky comments about my locker-opening abilities with snarky comments about the outfit of a girl who happens to walk past, a sappy couple holding hands, and how ugly the new school colors are. It’s a good thing he’s already dead, or I’d have murdered him. If he was anything like this in life, he probably had it coming.
Another thing about ghosts: they’re not hungry for, like, human souls, and they don’t feed off of fear or any of that junk. (Honestly, who comes up with this stuff?)
What they do crave, beyond anything else, is attention. It makes sense when you think about it. I mean, I refer you to my previous question. What would you do all day if you were invisible, intangible, inaudible, and dead?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. Anyways, maybe you’ve been thinking, hey, all this about being able to see ghosts sounds really cool! I wish I could do that.
Well, listen up, buddy, because you really don’t. Imagine having to walk around, day after day, pretending half the people you see don’t exist.
(I hear popular girls are really good at this. The rest of us, not so much.)
Not only does it make you look like a total freak, talking to thin air, but the instant a ghost suspects you can see them, boom. It’s like feeding a stray kitten. You give them a half-eaten can of tuna, and they’ll never leave you alone again. When I was younger, I made the mistake of striking up a conversation with every ghost I met, with the result that they would follow me around and pester me all the time. And don’t even get me started on the rivalries that cropped up. I had to implement a whole freaking schedule for when which ghost could haunt me and for how long, and they’d still squabble like a bunch of little kids over which of them deserved my attention more. And most of them were adults, for goodness’ sake.
So even though I would love to get this ghost to stop mouthing off for a minute, I would rather put up with it than have him start haunting me. And, with a triumphant yank, I finally get the locker open.
The ghost leans a little closer, sticking his head straight through the door. Yeah, it’s kinda weird. You get used to it after a while, though. For the first time, his stupid smirk slips a little, and he scans the interior of the locker before leaning back.
It’s strange, but then, most ghosts are. You stop questioning it once you’ve seen it happen enough times.
I fumble for my textbooks, and the commentary starts up again. Great.
Maybe it gets under my skin a little more than even I want to admit, because I slam the locker door a little harder than necessary. Unfortunately, I don’t move my fingers out of the way fast enough.
“OW!” I howl, sucking my fingers and doing that weird little dance in place thing we all do when we do something idiotic like slam our fingers in our locker (please, don’t even try to deny it; no one’s fooled).
The ghost, of course, is laughing his head off.
“Oh, good going, new girl,” he chuckles, and suddenly I can’t take it anymore. I’ve had enough of this jerk.
“Just shut up, would you?” I snap back.
I pause, the hair on the back of my neck standing up as something in the air changes.
Oops.
For the first time, his eyes focus on me fully, and he leans forward, dead serious. (Ha-ha, yes, I meant the pun.)
“You can see me?” he says.
Which is, of course, the most cliche opening line ever. Honestly. Just because you’re six feet under doesn’t mean you can’t be original.
(It’s also a really stupid question, because how am I supposed to answer that? If I say “no,” I’m obviously lying. If I say “yes,” it leads to a flat, awkward pause where no one knows what to say next.)
So I go with my usual response: I say nothing, turn around, and walk away.
Last edited by ChueyTheCat (March 6, 2026 21:01:45)
- technj2009
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚ Critiquitaire for @ChueyTheCat ⊹₊⟡⋆
✏ i love the hook! great job at grabbing the attention of your reader! i like the direct addressing of questions which bridges into your story so well. the only part here i would polish up is “I meant fancy-schmancy writerly metaphorical specters of the past,”. i like the idea you're going for here, but the over-creativity of words makes it a bit entangled. i think you shouldn't use “writerly metaphorical”, it disrupts the flow of the sentence and draws attention away from your use of “fancy-schmancy”. a simple suggestion for this one, i would change it to “I meant fancy-schmancy metaphoric specters of the past,”. other than that, great work on this part! ⟡
✏ nice intro to the start of your story! i think that there is no need to have your first few sentences in parentheses. usually parentheses are for smaller side remarks, and your sentences tie perfectly well into the theme of your narrative, so i would keep them within the ‘dialogue’. so i suggest getting rid of the parentheses here “(And no, before you ask, they aren’t here for “unfinished business” or torturing their loved ones from beyond the grave or any of that ridiculous nonsense. Why are they here then, you ask? Golly, I don’t know. Why are you here?)”. a small grammar critique, you should add commas in the first sentence because you are listing reasons. corrections in red: "And no, before you ask, they aren’t here for “unfinished business”, or torturing their loved ones from beyond the grave, or any of that ridiculous nonsense.". i would also try using italics to show emphasis on a word. the two suggestions i would make are "Why are you here?“ and ”If, you know, I could smack ghosts." this would help convey the tone of these remarks much better! i like the parentheses on the last sentence, it distinguishes it as a good offside remark! ⟡
✏ omg this is so funny! just small corrections and suggestions on this part! in the third sentence, add a comma after “which”. and in the fourth sentence, you should get rid of the “like,” just do “Some of them get ghost depression…” it flows better in conveying what you want to say! ⟡
✏ just some more small corrections! i would split up the first sentence. corrections in red: "This appears to be the case with my current tormentor. He alternates snarky comments about my locker-opening abilities with snarky comments about the outfit of a girl who happens to walk past, a sappy couple holding hands, and how ugly the new school colors are." in the last sentence you don't need to use “like,” just continue your sentence! correction: “…they're not hungry for human souls, and they don't feed off of fear or any of that.” sometimes adding in extra words in sentences may be a bit disrupting! ⟡
✏ well written!! i have no suggestions here! i like how you prompt questions to continuously keep your audience engaged! ⟡
✏ this is nicely done! just small suggestions and corrections again! maybe don't use “cropped” to describe the rivalries created, correction in red: "And don't even get me started on the rivalries that popped up. this is more straightforward! the only other thing is very small, could have been a typo. “And most of them were adults, for goodness sake.” i noticed an apostrophe after the word “goodness” which is not needed! ⟡
✏ good paragraph! only suggestion i would make here is rewording your second to last sentence! you don't need to use “maybe” to make it sound more clear. correction: "It got under my skin a little more than I even wanted to admit, because I slam the locker door a little harder than necessary." other than this it looks good! ⟡
✏ just one correction on this part! the first sentence is a little wordy, so a few suggestions to tidy it up! let's split up the sentence and remove a word. correction: “”OW!" I howl, sucking my fingers and doing that weird little dance in place thing we all do when we do something idiotic. Like slam our fingers in our locker (please, don't even try to deny it; no one is fooled). nice shift in the story! ⟡
✏ super good ending! i have no comments on this part. i like the subtle cliffhanger! overall, such an intriguing story! i like the playfulness and engaging lines that really captivate the reader. it's a very nice storyline idea and i hope you can expand your story some day!
~ to chuey: thank you for letting me critique this! i had a lot of fun reading your story <3
✎ 3.6.2026 ~ Daily #6 ❀ ~ 750 words ౨ৎ
⌗ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀꜰꜰʀᴏɴ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ ⋆˚࿔
New school. New locker combinations. And, of course, new ghosts.
Hm? Oh, yes. I was totally kidding. I meant fancy-schmancy writerly metaphorical specters of the past, not…
Okay, yeah, no. I meant ghost-ghosts, dummy. You know, the kind that shows up after someone dies? The ones that tend to haunt places? Those.
✏ i love the hook! great job at grabbing the attention of your reader! i like the direct addressing of questions which bridges into your story so well. the only part here i would polish up is “I meant fancy-schmancy writerly metaphorical specters of the past,”. i like the idea you're going for here, but the over-creativity of words makes it a bit entangled. i think you shouldn't use “writerly metaphorical”, it disrupts the flow of the sentence and draws attention away from your use of “fancy-schmancy”. a simple suggestion for this one, i would change it to “I meant fancy-schmancy metaphoric specters of the past,”. other than that, great work on this part! ⟡
(And no, before you ask, they aren’t here for “unfinished business” or torturing their loved ones from beyond the grave or any of that ridiculous nonsense. Why are they here then, you ask? Golly, I don’t know. Why are you here?)
So anyways, I’m fumbling with my locker, and this ghost sure isn’t helping. He’s leaning against the metal doors and smirking. I can feel that smirk rubbing up against my shoulder blades like a mosquito bite I can’t scratch, and I want to smack it off his little dead face. If, you know, I could smack ghosts.
(Believe me. I’ve tried.)
✏ nice intro to the start of your story! i think that there is no need to have your first few sentences in parentheses. usually parentheses are for smaller side remarks, and your sentences tie perfectly well into the theme of your narrative, so i would keep them within the ‘dialogue’. so i suggest getting rid of the parentheses here “(And no, before you ask, they aren’t here for “unfinished business” or torturing their loved ones from beyond the grave or any of that ridiculous nonsense. Why are they here then, you ask? Golly, I don’t know. Why are you here?)”. a small grammar critique, you should add commas in the first sentence because you are listing reasons. corrections in red: "And no, before you ask, they aren’t here for “unfinished business”, or torturing their loved ones from beyond the grave, or any of that ridiculous nonsense.". i would also try using italics to show emphasis on a word. the two suggestions i would make are "Why are you here?“ and ”If, you know, I could smack ghosts." this would help convey the tone of these remarks much better! i like the parentheses on the last sentence, it distinguishes it as a good offside remark! ⟡
See, the thing about ghosts is, so few people can see them that they… well, imagine what you would do all day if you were suddenly invisible and intangible. Oh, and deceased. Some of them spend their time trying to pull pranks on the living, which I guess is where the rumors about hauntings come from. Some of them get, like, ghost depression and go sulk in corners. Others, well, others figure that since no one can hear or see them anyway, who cares what they do?
✏ omg this is so funny! just small corrections and suggestions on this part! in the third sentence, add a comma after “which”. and in the fourth sentence, you should get rid of the “like,” just do “Some of them get ghost depression…” it flows better in conveying what you want to say! ⟡
This appears to be the case with my current tormentor, who alternates snarky comments about my locker-opening abilities with snarky comments about the outfit of a girl who happens to walk past, a sappy couple holding hands, and how ugly the new school colors are. It’s a good thing he’s already dead, or I’d have murdered him. If he was anything like this in life, he probably had it coming.
Another thing about ghosts: they’re not hungry for, like, human souls, and they don’t feed off of fear or any of that *. (Honestly, who comes up with this stuff?)
✏ just some more small corrections! i would split up the first sentence. corrections in red: "This appears to be the case with my current tormentor. He alternates snarky comments about my locker-opening abilities with snarky comments about the outfit of a girl who happens to walk past, a sappy couple holding hands, and how ugly the new school colors are." in the last sentence you don't need to use “like,” just continue your sentence! correction: “…they're not hungry for human souls, and they don't feed off of fear or any of that.” sometimes adding in extra words in sentences may be a bit disrupting! ⟡
What they do crave, beyond anything else, is attention. It makes sense when you think about it. I mean, I refer you to my previous question. What would you do all day if you were invisible, intangible, inaudible, and dead?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. Anyways, maybe you’ve been thinking, hey, all this about being able to see ghosts sounds really cool! I wish I could do that.
✏ well written!! i have no suggestions here! i like how you prompt questions to continuously keep your audience engaged! ⟡
Well, listen up, buddy, because you really don’t. Imagine having to walk around, day after day, pretending half the people you see don’t exist.
(I hear popular girls are really good at this. The rest of us, not so much.)
Not only does it make you look like a total freak, talking to thin air, but the instant a ghost suspects you can see them, boom. It’s like feeding a stray kitten. You give them a half-eaten can of tuna, and they’ll never leave you alone again. When I was younger, I made the mistake of striking up a conversation with every ghost I met, with the result that they would follow me around and pester me all the time. And don’t even get me started on the rivalries that cropped up. I had to implement a whole freaking schedule for when which ghost could haunt me and for how long, and they’d still squabble like a bunch of little kids over which of them deserved my attention more. And most of them were adults, for goodness’ sake.
So even though I would love to get this ghost to stop mouthing off for a minute, I would rather put up with it than have him start haunting me. And, with a triumphant yank, I finally get the locker open.
✏ this is nicely done! just small suggestions and corrections again! maybe don't use “cropped” to describe the rivalries created, correction in red: "And don't even get me started on the rivalries that popped up. this is more straightforward! the only other thing is very small, could have been a typo. “And most of them were adults, for goodness sake.” i noticed an apostrophe after the word “goodness” which is not needed! ⟡
The ghost leans a little closer, sticking his head straight through the door. Yeah, it’s kinda weird. You get used to it after a while, though. For the first time, his stupid smirk slips a little, and he scans the interior of the locker before leaning back.
It’s strange, but then, most ghosts are. You stop questioning it once you’ve seen it happen enough times.
I fumble for my textbooks, and the commentary starts up again. Great.
Maybe it gets under my skin a little more than even I want to admit, because I slam the locker door a little harder than necessary. Unfortunately, I don’t move my fingers out of the way fast enough.
✏ good paragraph! only suggestion i would make here is rewording your second to last sentence! you don't need to use “maybe” to make it sound more clear. correction: "It got under my skin a little more than I even wanted to admit, because I slam the locker door a little harder than necessary." other than this it looks good! ⟡
“OW!” I howl, sucking my fingers and doing that weird little dance in place thing we all do when we do something idiotic like slam our fingers in our locker (please, don’t even try to deny it; no one’s fooled).
The ghost, of course, is laughing his head off.
“Oh, good going, new girl,” he chuckles, and suddenly I can’t take it anymore. I’ve had enough of this jerk.
“Just shut up, would you?” I snap back.
I pause, the hair on the back of my neck standing up as something in the air changes.
Oops.
✏ just one correction on this part! the first sentence is a little wordy, so a few suggestions to tidy it up! let's split up the sentence and remove a word. correction: “”OW!" I howl, sucking my fingers and doing that weird little dance in place thing we all do when we do something idiotic. Like slam our fingers in our locker (please, don't even try to deny it; no one is fooled). nice shift in the story! ⟡
For the first time, his eyes focus on me fully, and he leans forward, dead serious. (Ha-ha, yes, I meant the pun.)
“You can see me?” he says.
Which is, of course, the most cliche opening line ever. Honestly. Just because you’re six feet under doesn’t mean you can’t be original.
(It’s also a really stupid question, because how am I supposed to answer that? If I say “no,” I’m obviously lying. If I say “yes,” it leads to a flat, awkward pause where no one knows what to say next.)
So I go with my usual response: I say nothing, turn around, and walk away.
✏ super good ending! i have no comments on this part. i like the subtle cliffhanger! overall, such an intriguing story! i like the playfulness and engaging lines that really captivate the reader. it's a very nice storyline idea and i hope you can expand your story some day!
~ to chuey: thank you for letting me critique this! i had a lot of fun reading your story <3
✎ 3.6.2026 ~ Daily #6 ❀ ~ 750 words ౨ৎ
⌗ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀꜰꜰʀᴏɴ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇʙᴏᴏᴋ ⋆˚࿔
- VioAquaCat
-
Scratcher
78 posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
Word Wars Seven (i think) : CYBERPUNK VS ADVENTURE253 words - 6 min - “He got the feeling that maybe he shouldn't have bargained with the unicorn”
Marzi got the feeling that maybe he shouldn't have bargained with the unicorn. He sat nervously at the desk, waiting quietly for the unicorn in front of him to speak. The unicorn, Kilani, had gray fur and black hair, a shining pearl horn on his head. Kilani was staring at Marzi with golden brown eyes.
“And why do you think I would take your deal.”
Marzi swallowed. “Well, you did show some interest in the pixie dust I had to offer. I do think that the task wouldn't be too hard for you and you to accomplish. It's not much different from other things you have done for people.
Kilani neighed softly. “They were offering more in return.”
“W-well, maybe we could work something out.” Marzi searched around the room with his eyes for something to use. Behind Kilani, he saw a poster for “Blade Rushers 3: Escape from the Apocalypse” poster.
Marzi straightened, an Idea coming to him. “You know, I have one of the sold out minifigs for Vole.”
This made Kilani pause. “How’d you get that? They sold out nine years ago!” He demanded, voice getting louder.
MArzi smiled. “I have my connections.” In truth his aunt had gotten one for her birthday when she had been 15, when she wasn't actually a part of the fandom.
“I’d be willing to give you that minifig along with the pixie dust, if you do what I ask.”
Kilani glared at Marzi. “…Fine. But only because I want to have a complete
- Alfalfa78
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
weekly!
- - -
part i
- - -
part i
Name: Lilac Hale
Age: 17
Appearance:
One of the first things that you notice about Lilac is her ash blonde hair. More so the parts of her bangs and face frame that have been dyed purple. Much to her annoyance, she doesn’t know how, or why, it ended up like this (see, a magical portal guarded by a magical being’s interference). Often, she’ll wear her hair up in a loose ponytail with a butterfly shaped hairclip her mom gave to her, when she was young.
She has bright blue eyes, with the left eye being noticeably lighter than the right. Again, she doesn’t know why. It wasn’t always like that (again, see, magical interference) but she can’t do much about it. Her skin is a bit pale, and she’s on the shorter side (5’2).
If she’s not in her work uniform (a brown visor and apron, with a gray top and black pants and whatever shoes she’s wearing that day) then she’s probably wearing her favorite outfit. A white tee-shirt and a gray jacket, with comfortable black pants and her favorite white sneakers. It’s accented by a bright purple bandana that she ties around her neck (but if you ask her where she got it, she won’t say. She just says that a friend gave it to her.) (That “friend” being previously mentioned magical being.)
Job: Barista
Strengths: Determined, caring, patient, selfless, resourceful.
Weaknesses: Blunt, doesn’t speak up when she should, quiet, selfless (to a fault), secretive.
Relationships:
Isiah – younger brother. Cares about him deeply, and does everything in her power to take care of him. Loves him to the moon and back a hundred thousand times. Would do almost anything for him.
Hunter – best friend. Cares about him deeply, too, but would never admit that. Likes him because he doesn’t mind, she when she speaks her mind. Gets slightly annoyed by his antics, though.
Abilities:
Electrokinesis – can manipulate electricity, Very powerful for her age, but has poor control it comes to reining in her ability. Once caused a blackout that lasted for several hours and encompassed an area of eight miles on accident. Clearly has no clue what she’s doing with her powers, and wishes she could control them better.
Has the tendency to accidentally shock people when not paying attention. Sometimes will create sparks if she’s feeling any strong emotions. Eyes sometimes glow a little if there’s a thunderstorm nearby.
Trivia
Dyslexic – avoids texting and writing if she can. Doesn’t particularly like to read, but will if she absolutely has to (see, school). English was naturally her least favorite subject, with history as a close second.
Barista – very good at latte art, and jokes that it’s her only saving grace. Main reason that the coffee shop that she works at hired her. But she cannot write names to save her life. Please don’t do that to her.
Left-handed – tried for years to be ambidextrous to no avail. Her handwriting with her right hand is chicken scratch, but so is her handwriting with her left hand… it’s honestly a little hard to tell which is which.
part ii
For my very messy and very chaotic moodboard of Lilac, I chose several images of thunderstorms. I specifically chose one that had a city in it to represent the blackout she accidentally started that one time. A storm with lightning striking the ground, followed by the thunder crashing and making it shake and rattle. The possibility of a blackout seeming imminent.
The other two thunderstorms seemed to be calmer, softer thunderstorms in a way. Not as violent. That soft rumbling thunder, with lightning rolling across the sky in an almost gentle fashion, rain gently hitting a window in a lulling rhythm. The kind of storm that you could fall asleep to.
The first thunderstorm image, the one with a city, represents Lilac’s lack of control. The others represent her as she slowly gains more and more control over her ability.
The two color swatches, orchid and electric blue, are two colors that I associate with Lilac. Because, even if her name is well, Lilac, the purple color in her hair is actually orchid. Orchid just fit her color palette better, even if it didn’t quite fit her namesake. Electric blue, meanwhile, is pretty close to the color of her eyes. I also think it’s rather fitting due to her ability to control electricity.
The picture with the butterfly hairclip front and center is sort of what I imagine the hairclip that Lilac wears! The girl in the picture is also wearing a similar hairstyle to Lilac, even if it’s not the right color hair. It just seemed so fitting that I had to add it in.
Another image that I just couldn’t pass up was the (maybe) aesthetic picture of the coffee cup and breakfast (or dessert, I couldn’t tell. Either way it still works!) on a table. It felt very coffee shop-y to me, as well as very Lilac-y. Lilac can make very good latte art, and the cutesy heart in the coffee just felt like something she’d make.
While she doesn’t normally do latte art in her own coffee (too much effort and work, she just needs the energy right now, man) when ever she makes it but… if she does need the motivation or the joy of looking at something she created, she’ll do it. Sometimes it’s just nice to enjoy something that you made yourself, you know?
And finally the image of the lilac flower was something that I couldn’t not add. Its quite literally her namesake, and I will always associate purple lilacs with her. The symbolism of them doesn’t quite match (there are other flowers that fit her much, much better) but it’s just too perfect for her. The picture was just so pretty, I couldn’t pass it up.
part iii
swapped character's with willow
swapped character's with willow
Celeste’s eyes were narrowed in concentration as she dipped the brush into the nail polish. Carefully, slowly, she pulled it out of the bottle and dragged it across her nail. Her tongue poked out of her mouth from her concentration and then…
“… there,” Celeste said, a smile breaking out on her face as she finished painting the last nail with a flourish. Bright pink with red and white hearts gently and lovingly painted on stared back at her. Not her best work, some of the hearts were a little lopsided, and if you squinted you could see that one of the hearts was a little smudged. But she was still proud of her work!
Carefully, she stood, walking over to the mirror to take a look at herself. Her waves hair was up, like always, though the waves were a little less wavy than usual today. Probably from the poor weather that they’d been having recently. Maybe from the fact that she hadn’t curled her hair in a day or two…
Ah, well, she thought with the slightest shrug. She could curl it later, after her nails dried. She twirled around, a smile growing on her face again.
Before it was quickly wiped off when the small pile of textbooks and binders on her desk caught her eye. The pile wasn’t huge – not as big as it had been during midterms – but it wasn’t just a book or two, either. Reminders of not yet started essays and yet to be read sections of textbooks flashed through her mind.
Right, she winced slightly. She still had work to do. It wasn’t a lot, thankfully. Just an hour. Or two. Maybe three if she let herself goof off and check on her phone constantly… yeah… it’d probably end up being two and a half hours of schoolwork before she was done…
Her wince shifted into a grimace, and she glanced at herself in the mirror. Homework… and with still drying nails? She shook her head, forcibly grinning at herself. “No, thank you!” she said.
Homework could wait, she thought, turning away from her small pile of textbooks. She continued to ignore it, even as it stared accusingly at her in the mirror. She’d get it done later, after her nails were done of course.
And maybe after she finished checking up on all her friends via text. And picking out an outfit for the day. And maybe after getting a coffee?
“Ooh,” she said aloud, smiling to herself. “Coffee and homework sounds great. Yes, yes. I’m not procrastinating,” she told herself, nodding as she sat back down. “Just waiting for the perfect opportunity. My homework’s not going anywhere, and neither is my coffee.”
She waved her hands up and down, trying to make her nails dry just that tiny bit faster. But not too fast, of course. Her homework could always wait that teeny bit longer… especially since the due date wasn’t until Saturday. It was only Tuesday, after all. She had basically all week to work on it!
part iv
With finally dried nails, a noticeably larger pile of homework than before stuffed into a backpack, and two days closer to the due date, Celeste entered the coffee shop. A bell cheerfully chimed as she opened the door, shaking back and forth.
The coffee shop was warm and cozy looking, with wooden tables placed closely together, but not so close together it was claustrophobic. A few booths lined the walls, and several stools lined the counter. But there was a clear path to the counter, regardless, and even if every seat and table was filled, she didn’t think it would feel suffocating.
The girl behind the counter perked up, a customer service smile falling into place. “Hi, welcome to Cozy Corner Café, how can I help you today?” she asked, quickly brushing ash blonde and purple hair over her shoulder.
Celeste smiled in return, walking up to the counter. “Hi, yes, could I get an iced caramel macchiato, please?”
“Uh, sure thing,” the cashier glanced over Celeste’s shoulders. “That’ll be five dollars. And, uh, you can wait right here. Since nobody else is waiting, right now.”
“Alright,” she chirped, fishing a five dollar bill out of her pocket and sliding it across the counter. “Could I sit at the counter?”
The cashier had already turned around to face the coffee machine. “Oh, yeah, that’s fine.”
“Great!” she responded, already hopping onto a stool and gently placing her backpack onto the seat next to it. She pulled her computer out of the bag, placing it on the counter. By the time she finally opened an empty doc to start writing one of two essays, the cashier placed the drink by her computer.
“Here you go,” she said, smiling lightly.
“Thank you,” Celeste said, grabbing the drink and taking a sip from it. “Thank you, I really needed this.”
“Schoolwork, huh?” she asked, tilting her head as she leaned against the counter.
“Yeah,” she mumbled distractedly, and then glanced back up at the cashier, gaze momentarily lingering the nametag which read: Lilac. “How’d you guess?” she asked, smiling lightly.
“Your backpack is overflowing, and you seem a bit… frazzled,” she shrugged, gesturing a little to her own face. “Just a lucky guess. We get a lot of customers in a day. You learn the signs, eventually.”
“You’ve been doing this for a while, huh?” Celeste asked, slowly typing up the title of her essay. One step of many, she guessed. One step was better than nothing. Somewhere, she sort of wished that she could finish this essay faster, because then she could hang out with Mei and everyone else.
But this Lilac girl seemed interesting enough, so maybe that was the price to pay. Her eyes were focused on her computer’s screen but out of the corner of her eye, she saw her nod a few times. “Yeah, long enough,” a vague answer, and her previously cheerful demeanor faded a little.
Celeste glanced back up, feeling a frown tug at her lips. Weird…
So, she forced a smile back on her face. She couldn’t have her (potentially) new friend (maybe) upset right now. “On the topic of schoolwork, what about you? What do you think about essays?”
“Oh, I hate them,” Lilac said, and the cheerfulness returned, albeit hidden beneath mock annoyance. “They’re the worst. They were always my least favorite part of school. That and reading. Math was okay, I guess. What—”
Ding!
Another customer opened the door. A business man, clearly in his late thirties, started walking to the counter.
“Ah, one sec,” Lilac said, an apologetic note in her voice as she moved back over to the cash register.
“You’re good,” Celeste mumbled, glancing back down at her essay. Slowly, begrudgingly, she started to add to her essay. Might as well, now that she didn’t have anyone to talk to. At least for the time being, anyways.
A few minutes later, Lilac returned. “Sorry. Had to go get that,” she shrugged slightly, a small smile on her face.
“You’re good!” Celeste reassured, giving her a bright smile. “I totally understand.”
“Right, uh, thanks,” she said, smile growing before immediately fading. “Right. Uh. I didn’t… I didn’t catch your name. Uh. I’m Lilac,” she introduced awkwardly.
“Nice to meet you, even if I already figured out your name,” Celeste said, a cheeky grin on her face.
Lilac frowned, a blank look of confusion on her face. Until Celeste tapped herself where a nametag would be if she was wearing one of her own. “Oh,” Lilac mumbled. “Right.” She looked embarrassed.
“But my name’s Celeste!” she introduced.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Lilac responded.
- - -
i really feel like i didn't do celeste justice… i tried my best though! but i do think that lilac and celeste (and consequently, mei) would all be buddies
(2,254 words)
Last edited by Alfalfa78 (March 7, 2026 17:19:49)
- VioAquaCat
-
Scratcher
78 posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
Word Wars Eight : CYBERPUNK VS ADVENTURE123 words - 4 min - no prompt
**continuation of a different story**
taking back the water bottle and settling back against the bench. Cipher watched from the corner of his eye as Phase pulled out his phone and began searching stuff up on it. Probably stats or something.
Cipher shook his head, looking back up to the stage in front of the clock, where Zyzyx was already standing. Cipher joined her.
“So, Cipher, ‘eh?” Zyzyx asked, not looking at him.
“YEAH, that's me.” Cipher responded, surprised. “And you’re Zyzyx? The youngest player to join the Clock Games?”
Zyzyx nodded, her lips pursed, but didn't respond further. Cipher shrugged to himself.
“Attention!” The organizer yelled, and the crowd quieted. “Thank you for joining us here for the Clock games, we’ve had an exciting line up for
- ChueyTheCat
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
Critique for @technij2009 || 639 words
Hello hello! It's the first critique of the session yayyy
I'm terrible at writing intros so let's just jump straight in here!
Anyways, the only thing I would point out here is that “much too much” sticks out a bit here — repetition can blend into background noise when used in larger context, but here, the words being repeated so close together in such a tight setting are a bit distracting.


Overall, my advice would be to look carefully at how your words sound: what mood do they convey to the reader? The impression your pieces leave behind are spot-on, but the tiny mood shifts certain words evoke could be tweaked in places for greater emphasis. One thing I like to do, especially with imagery, is to take what I'm trying to say and see if there's anywhere I can use a different word to say the same thing, but with more of a punch. Other than that, I've run out of things to critique — these are amazing, very well done! Thank you so much for letting me critique them, and hopefully my advice made sense lol
Hello hello! It's the first critique of the session yayyy
I'm terrible at writing intros so let's just jump straight in here!
❦ “Captured Tears” ·˚ ༘ ~ ᴠɪʟʟᴀɴᴇʟʟᴇFirst of all, OOH VILLANELLE!! This is so cool :0
Feeling emotions inside me
Much too much to weigh
I am captured by anxiety
Anyways, the only thing I would point out here is that “much too much” sticks out a bit here — repetition can blend into background noise when used in larger context, but here, the words being repeated so close together in such a tight setting are a bit distracting.
My voice screeches a plea“My voice screeches a plea” is feeling a little passive to me; perhaps consider playing around with it a bit and seeing if you can get it to feel more active or closer to the narrator.
I will never obey
Feeling emotions inside me
Thought I broke free“Hope for someday” and “Thrown to a different reality / Vanished, I can't say —” have me a little confused on the first read-through since it's not immediately clear to me what you're referring to. I can assume “Hope for someday” refers to breaking free, as referenced in the previous line, but the other two lines don't connect as cleanly for me.
Hope for someday, but
I am captured by anxiety
Thrown to a different reality
Vanished, I can’t say —
Feeling emotions inside me
Locked with no keyLove this stanza!! No notes here, just appreciation
Forced to convey
I am captured by anxiety

You were a fake familyThis is such a beautiful poem, and you did a great job conveying the emotion in so few words! I really don't have any further critiques for this one other than what I've already pointed out, so I'm going to move on to the next one.
Maybe I want to be away
Feeling emotions inside me
I am captured by anxiety
❦ “Unreal Reality” ·˚ ༘ ~ ɴᴏ ʀʜʏᴍᴇ ꜱᴄʜᴇᴍᴇOff to a good start here! My only note here would be that “cannot” feels a little stiff for the slightly more informal writing style here — “can't” feels a little too informal to me, though, so overall “cannot” would probably be the better choice. If you want to, maybe play around with it a bit and see if you can find a line you like that preserves the meaning while dodging the problematic word.
You finally got to me
Victim after victim
It ripped my heart, punched my guts
But I cannot show it
I cannot speakThis is small, but the lack of a question mark after “free” is bugging me — I'm not sure if it was a stylistic choice or an accident, but I'd suggest adding one unless you did it that way on purpose.
No words will ever convey
This feeling, yet no feeling
Left numb after the pain
You chained me down
Will I ever break free
But I have a reputation to keep
I’ve lost my personality
Do minds heal from woundsI would recommend using a synonym for “wounds” in the second line, since the repetition from “heal” has already established the… repetitive part I'm blanking on what to call it lol. My apologies for my silly brain. Moving on!
Do hearts heal from wounds
My soul inside me
Yet ever so fleeting
The outside impressionGorgeous way to end this! I love this one <3
No signs of what lies within
The most perfect are the most broken
***The next poem is ekphrastic, so please view my Writing Folder for the picture in order to better understand it!***Lovely way to open! I might change “it is” to “it's” for the sake of flow, but otherwise no notes here
❦ “A Caged Sphere” ·˚ ༘ ~ ᴇᴋᴘʜʀᴀꜱᴛɪᴄ
A blank space
Life of restriction
Such empty embrace
Left blinded in her face
Lies, it is all fiction

Hope for one dayAgain, I might consider using a contraction for “I will,” but it works fine either way.
But peace is assumed
Said I will meet you halfway —
Led astray, left her world gray
Though the quiet consumes
Outcasted, forgotten insideNo other critiques to note — you did an amazing job here!
Go home, go rot
Lost persistence and denied
Cried until she died
Through words and actions, she was shot
One step closer
So close, yet so far
No one could save her
Now all out, just another exposer
She rests among the stars
❦ “Realm of Fear” ·˚ ༘ ~ ᴄᴏɴꜱɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴇᴛᴇʀ“Heart of stone” is an apt descriptor, but it also tends to lean towards cliche. Perhaps consider if there are any more vivid metaphors you can draw on to make this line pop even more. “Thoughts go sailing over quarrels” also confused me a bit; I'm having a difficult time understanding what this line is trying to say. The middle two lines here are perfect, though!
In truth, I lied to keep me safe
Lost the sense of inner goodness
That raging stare, it shoots me down
Feeling stuck on nightly screaming
The world can see your heart of stone
Forced to run from outer feelings
The fire burns within my rage
Thoughts go sailing over quarrels
We’re far from perfect, tried to hideAnd I don't have anything else to say for this one except well done, this is beautiful <3
Many nights that trapped my sorrow
The pain it brought had harsh control
Left to faint in hopeless places
Overall, my advice would be to look carefully at how your words sound: what mood do they convey to the reader? The impression your pieces leave behind are spot-on, but the tiny mood shifts certain words evoke could be tweaked in places for greater emphasis. One thing I like to do, especially with imagery, is to take what I'm trying to say and see if there's anywhere I can use a different word to say the same thing, but with more of a punch. Other than that, I've run out of things to critique — these are amazing, very well done! Thank you so much for letting me critique them, and hopefully my advice made sense lol

Last edited by ChueyTheCat (March 7, 2026 00:57:33)
- VioAquaCat
-
Scratcher
78 posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
Word Wars Nine : CYBERPUNK VS ADVENTURE229 words - 5 min - “In the presence of ghosts, there was only one thing to do.”
There was only one thing to do in the presence of ghosts. Panic. Okay, maybe that wasn't the best strategy, but unfortunately, I didn't have time for strategy. I ran, trying not to scream. I felt tears running down my cheeks as I clamped a hand around my mouth to keep a squeal from escaping.
I should never have come here. It was stupid- I would take it back If it I could. I duck into an alleyway as I hear the rush of air behind me. I hate ghosts. I hate them so, so much. They’re the worst type of spirits, worse than phantoms even. I’m running so fast I almost run straight into the wall.
I turn, my boots splashing water up as I charge away. I need to find somewhere to hide, and quickly.
Ahead, I see Main street and its dim lighting. Usually this place was super busy, but not at three forty two am. I search for a place to hide, my heart pounding. Aha! There. Quickly, I run over to the garden shed behind one of the shops.
It's dark and musty inside, but I’ve been in here before. It's full of different plants and flowers- providing ample places for me to duck and hide in. I settle behind the large potted lemon tree near the back, trying to wipe away my tears
- VioAquaCat
-
Scratcher
78 posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
Word Wars Ten : CYBERPUNK VS PARANORMAL218 words - 5 min - “I told you, we needed more glitter”
“I told you, we needed more glitter.” I grumble, glaring at Halo. Halo glares right back at me.
“The glitter wasn't the problem, moron! The problem is your terrible public speaking skills.”
I roll my eyes, trying to ignore the fact that that was true.. “Look, if we had more glitter, it would've blinded them. Then maybe they wouldn’t have noticed your hideous dress.”
Halo reels back. I wince. Maybe that was too far. Halo had gotten that dress from her late grandmother. YEah, I had definitely gone too far. WEll, I wasn't going to back down anyway.
Halo stares at me for a moment, fury and hurt blending on her face. I look away, but I can hear her start to cry.
Why do I always do that to people, I think.
Halo turns her back on me, running out of the room. I watch her go, shaking my head. I want to hit myself. I sigh, turning back to our ruined project on the floor. Slowly, I started to pack it up. It wasn't my fault that we had totally failed. No, it wasn't. If anything, It was the teachers fault.
Yes, I think, grasping on to the explanation. It's the teachers fault. They were the one who had paired us up together despite our relations.
- babyoda1546
-
Scratcher
1000+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
➵ Sparring Match 02 ⊹ ₊
FIGHT!!!
» — ⋙ 245 words ⋘ — «
User: @babyoda1546
Nickname: Sage
Cabin: Baddieventure
WPM: 35-50 (way faster without a test)
VS
User: @VioAquaCat
Nickname: Vi
Cabin: Cyberats
WPM: 45-55
Info:
Prompt: “In the presence of ghosts, there was only one thing to do.”
Time Limit: Five Minutes
FIGHT!!!
“I’m not mad. Why would you say that? The voices say I’m perfectly fine!” I say to the lady in the white coat that is holding a clipboard and writing everything that I’m saying. I don’t know what her problem is because I’m actually perfectly fine! She clears her throat and gets ready to ask yet another question.
“Do you mind telling me what happened one more time?” She sighs and clicks her pen twice. Off and on. Click clock click clock. Just like the clock on the wall that ticks and clicks louder each minute. There’s nothing wrong with me! Why am I still here?
“Miss Silas? You say you saw ghosts?” the doctor asks again, impatiently.
“Yes, yes. Okay” I respond and then begin to recount my story
…
It’s a nice day today. The October sunshine smiling down on me mixed with the cool breeze makes for a nice walk in the woods. I keep walking and walking until eventually, before I know it, the sun starts its descent. I look around and I don’t notice the trees around me. The path has disappeared too. I frantically pull out my phone just to find out that it’s not working. No cell service. I’m doomed! Surely I’m done for. I’ve lost the path and… and.. Is that singing? And smoke? People!
I start towards the smoke, praying that people will be there like the singing implies. Hoping desperately that they can help me-
» — ⋙ 245 words ⋘ — «
- opheliio
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
part one — character sheet (536 words)
hugo pent, apprentice to the dean of the school of divinity
he/him, roughly 18 years old, elm university
hugo is of average height, around 5’6, with warm medium toned skin and thick wavy shoulder-length hair only a few shades darker (not the black hair in the photo). his eyes are dark hazel green. he has a strong, hooked nose and expressive brows. his dress is specified by his station, wearing the dark green overclothes of divinity over the white button down and khakis typical of an elm apprentice. his resting expression is a frown, but he is quick to smile. being the only at elm university of his ethnic background, his appearance is wont to stand out, and being highly ranked in the highly exclusive school of divinity furthers his conspicuousness.
a largely internal person, hugo is quiet, observant, and rarely speaks without thoroughly considering each word, unless in the company of close friends where he tends towards emotional drama. thoughtful is possibly the best single word to describe hugo, as he really is full to the brim of thoughts even if he isn’t the most forthcoming about their contents. he is a notorious gossip, using his observational skills and network of connections around the university to always stay up to date with the latest happenings, drama, and rumors. hugo is devoted to his academic ventures and his friends, though nothing supersedes his loyalty to rejean, heir to the lord of elm university. as apprentice to the dean of divinity, this means he is devoted to the religion and magic of communing with spirits and loyal to his mentor, dean torlin. hugo is quick to judgment and holds furious grudges. high standards for himself and others leave him often disappointed, and self-confidence issues, including anxiety and impostor syndrome, regularly interfere with his academic duties. he is sensitive about his unknown family and cultural background, his communing abilities, and accusations of favoritism with concern to his friendship with rejean.
in his and rejean’s story, hugo follows rejean when he runs away from the university at the tolling of war bells. together, they travel north across the continent to find the mythical caves of song, which in folklore impart great power to whoever journeys within. they fall in tragic love, of course <3 worried for his friend’s wellbeing, rejean sneaks off to the caves alone in the middle of the night, leaving hugo to watch the rising sun alone. gone mad from waiting for rejean’s return, hugo founds the rojan church, insistent his beloved ascended to godhood, and protalitizes across the north of the continent, spreading both the religion and his own political power. as high priest of rojan, blessed with immortality from his god, hugo begins the rojan empire, which spreads across the coast and plains north of the university-states, sustaining itself on the magic of conquered states and cultures. centuries later, miserable and mad, hugo is forced back to the land of the living by two eager silversewn students, vis and jay, who through their quest to summon rojan and reinvigorate the stagnating empire set the ball rolling for its collapse. was rojan real or just the grief of a heartbroken boy? who even knows.
part two — aesthetic set (100 words)
the overall mood of the set is autumnal dark academia, reflecting the setting of much of hugo’s story at a university. the colors — dark green, orange, yellow, and grey — contribute to these vibes.
half of the images are paintings and half are photos.
the panting of two men dancing represents the dream-like quality of his friendship with rejean, and the way his memories will later romanticize the man into a sun god.
the sun through stained glass windows and the painting of hands clasping a rosary represents his devotion to religion, although it is of course not christianity. rojan is a sun deity, hence sun imagery in the first two images.
the painting of women gossiping displays hugo’s love of gossip, while the other painting represents the trappedness felt by young members of the university’s court, including himself, and their efforts to improve each others’ moods.
the photo of a tea gathering further leans into hugo’s love of gossip and his friends, all with the background of academia and court life in the university.
the books are. books. because as a university student and dean’s apprentice he spends a lot of time in libraries, and even without it would be drawn to uncovering the secrets of the spirit magic/religion.
the landscape represents both hugo and rejean’s journey north and hugo’s far off homeland, a colorful contrast to the grey of the university buildings represented in the photo behind the central faceclaim.
to be completely honest, i would have left an appearance off, were it not a requirement. i have a very slippery view of hugo’s face in my mind’s eye and couldn’t quite capture it with a photo. the model fits well enough, aside from the dark hair, and i particularly think his wistfulness fits hugo.
part three — character swap with snowy’s character kate smith (554 words)
it was just past eleven at night, and the emergency medicine night class kate had signed up for on a whim was finally letting out. she was exhausted, collecting her notes back into her binder and packing up her pens and pencils, but satisfied to be learning so much. field medicine interested kate, and the instructor promised next week they would see a demonstration, which pleased her. so long she had been reading about emergency medical methods in her free time, now a few weeks of lectures had clarified her interest, but a real-life exhibition of the concepts was greatly exciting.
“oh, kate, did you want to come too?” one of the other girls in the class, a few years younger than her, was looking at her with a slightly awkward smile. kate glanced down at her bag, zipping it up and slinging it onto her shoulder with forced casualness. laura, was that her name? or lori— something like that. she hadn’t been paying attention to her classmates’ discussion, so caught up in thinking about next week, so now she was busy thinking what the question could possibly mean. lauren— yes, that was her name— noticed and laughed obligingly, providing an explanation: “a few of us are going out to dinner. probably just in-n-out or mcdonald’s, whatever’s open. wanna come?”
she was hungry. but tired, too, and wishing greatly to return home at this late hour. and yet— it would be nice to make some more friends in the city. she knew so few people, and often felt so lonesome.
“i’d love to,” she answered with a smile. tugging the pushed up sleeves of her hoodie back down to her wrists, she glanced around at the others who were waiting.
two other twenty-something girls, either sisters or girlfriends, kate hadn’t been able to figure them out. an older woman, mid-forties she guessed, who wouldn’t look out of place in a courtroom drama, formal and elegant as she was. a teenage boy, the only high schooler in the class, who sat in the front row and chugged two redbulls each session. what drew all these people together?
“great!” lauren smiled, full of genuine happiness kate agreed to come along, which made her think of audrey. that was happening a lot as of late, with the anniversary of audrey’s moving away just around the corner. “i can call us an uber, unless anyone would rather walk.”
no one protested, so a few minutes the whole group of six piled into a mini van, kate riding shotgun and engaging in polite conversation with their driver. “a class, actually, oh yes, emergency medicine, oh thanks, definitely very interesting, where are you from, i’ve heard its beautiful out there,” and so on.
the in-n-out was located in a mostly abandoned strip mall. they all rushed to get indoors and out of the chilly san francisco air. the light smattering of stars in the sky above again reminded kate of audrey, and a book series they’d both loved in fifth grade. she couldn’t remember what it was called, anymore. that broke her heart, just a little bit. she promised herself to find the series tomorrow as she followed the rest of the group into the restaurant. and maybe give audrey a call, too. a reunion would be nice.
part four — characters meeting (656 words)
the coastal city was far larger than any other hugo had visited, cobbled streets bustling with pedestrians and electric streetcars, multi-story buildings stretching to the foggy sky above, the buzz of frantically overlapping speech in ten languages from spirits and the living alike. no wonder torlin had insisted upon a visit, when san francisco clearly offered such an abundance of cultural interchange and so many opportunities to commune. he was alone in the golden city, having ducked into a small cafe for tea just a few steps out of the library torlin was consulting for the afternoon. hands wrapped around a hot cup of tea, his mind wandered back to the university, the high mountains, his friends who could not join him on this journey to the coast. one day, he promised himself, he’d get rejean beyond the tall university walls.
sipping from his cup, he reached for the book tucked into his pocket. it was quite the story so far, fantastical and horrifying and thought-provoking. he didn’t often pick up works of fiction, but this novel made him wish to read more.
a woman awaiting her order spotted the book and gasped. “frankenstein? by shelley?” she asked, perhaps a bit too excited for the context. hugo nodded politely. “what a book! are you liking it so far?”
“quite nicely,” hugo paused, then continued with a mischievous smile. “this victor fellow reminds me of a few people i’m at school with.”
“i thought you looked like a scholar! which college are you at?” she pulled a chair over to his table and sat without asking. “i attended a few classes at the state normal school myself, but found their medical classes rather lacking in suitable companions.”
“i’m just travelling through, actually. on a trip with my school’s dean. we’re— our university is nowhere near here.” he took another sip of his tea. “you’ve definitely never heard of it.”
“okay, mr. mystery,” she laughed, then her eyes went wide, as if finally realizing the social disorder of the interaction. “oh, introductions, sorry, i’m kate smith.”
“hugo pent,” he answered, “pleased to meet you.” he clapped his hands together, quite restless to return to torlin’s side, and finally made rather intense eye contact with kate. “i hope you’ll forgive me for cutting this short, i have an appointment at—”
“the library?” at his clear shock that her guess was correct, kate grinned. “your dean is sir torlin, right? you really have travelled a far way.” she glanced back at the counter and, spotting her drink ready, stood to collect it. “i’ll join you. i had hoped to attend the lecture, anyways.”
torlin had told hugo nothing of a lecture, but such was the nature of apprenticing with such secretive old man. he stood, shoving the book back into his pocket and stuffing himself into his divinity green overcoat. he would just have to accept her offer of companionship, if they were both going to the library anyways. no matter he had wished for a moment alone.
stepping to kate’s side, he realized they were the exact height. “ready?” he asked.
once at the library, hugo slipped away from kate’s side the moment he could. it was a little hurtful, actually, she’d quite enjoyed their little conversation at the cafe. but maybe his smiles and nods had been nothing but niceties, ingenuine lies.
nevermind that. she was pleased to meet him anyways, to speak to anyone from so secretive a school as elm university, no matter how briefly. curiosity burned in her chest, pulling her deeper into the library towards the reference section. surely something had been written on the university, some sort of background knowledge she could seek before the lecture in an hour.
magic, she thought, remembering the rumors that spread through the room when, at the last lecture in the series, the librarian had announced the next one. real magic. that’s what they teach at elm.
hugo pent, apprentice to the dean of the school of divinity
he/him, roughly 18 years old, elm university
hugo is of average height, around 5’6, with warm medium toned skin and thick wavy shoulder-length hair only a few shades darker (not the black hair in the photo). his eyes are dark hazel green. he has a strong, hooked nose and expressive brows. his dress is specified by his station, wearing the dark green overclothes of divinity over the white button down and khakis typical of an elm apprentice. his resting expression is a frown, but he is quick to smile. being the only at elm university of his ethnic background, his appearance is wont to stand out, and being highly ranked in the highly exclusive school of divinity furthers his conspicuousness.
a largely internal person, hugo is quiet, observant, and rarely speaks without thoroughly considering each word, unless in the company of close friends where he tends towards emotional drama. thoughtful is possibly the best single word to describe hugo, as he really is full to the brim of thoughts even if he isn’t the most forthcoming about their contents. he is a notorious gossip, using his observational skills and network of connections around the university to always stay up to date with the latest happenings, drama, and rumors. hugo is devoted to his academic ventures and his friends, though nothing supersedes his loyalty to rejean, heir to the lord of elm university. as apprentice to the dean of divinity, this means he is devoted to the religion and magic of communing with spirits and loyal to his mentor, dean torlin. hugo is quick to judgment and holds furious grudges. high standards for himself and others leave him often disappointed, and self-confidence issues, including anxiety and impostor syndrome, regularly interfere with his academic duties. he is sensitive about his unknown family and cultural background, his communing abilities, and accusations of favoritism with concern to his friendship with rejean.
in his and rejean’s story, hugo follows rejean when he runs away from the university at the tolling of war bells. together, they travel north across the continent to find the mythical caves of song, which in folklore impart great power to whoever journeys within. they fall in tragic love, of course <3 worried for his friend’s wellbeing, rejean sneaks off to the caves alone in the middle of the night, leaving hugo to watch the rising sun alone. gone mad from waiting for rejean’s return, hugo founds the rojan church, insistent his beloved ascended to godhood, and protalitizes across the north of the continent, spreading both the religion and his own political power. as high priest of rojan, blessed with immortality from his god, hugo begins the rojan empire, which spreads across the coast and plains north of the university-states, sustaining itself on the magic of conquered states and cultures. centuries later, miserable and mad, hugo is forced back to the land of the living by two eager silversewn students, vis and jay, who through their quest to summon rojan and reinvigorate the stagnating empire set the ball rolling for its collapse. was rojan real or just the grief of a heartbroken boy? who even knows.
part two — aesthetic set (100 words)
the overall mood of the set is autumnal dark academia, reflecting the setting of much of hugo’s story at a university. the colors — dark green, orange, yellow, and grey — contribute to these vibes.
half of the images are paintings and half are photos.
the panting of two men dancing represents the dream-like quality of his friendship with rejean, and the way his memories will later romanticize the man into a sun god.
the sun through stained glass windows and the painting of hands clasping a rosary represents his devotion to religion, although it is of course not christianity. rojan is a sun deity, hence sun imagery in the first two images.
the painting of women gossiping displays hugo’s love of gossip, while the other painting represents the trappedness felt by young members of the university’s court, including himself, and their efforts to improve each others’ moods.
the photo of a tea gathering further leans into hugo’s love of gossip and his friends, all with the background of academia and court life in the university.
the books are. books. because as a university student and dean’s apprentice he spends a lot of time in libraries, and even without it would be drawn to uncovering the secrets of the spirit magic/religion.
the landscape represents both hugo and rejean’s journey north and hugo’s far off homeland, a colorful contrast to the grey of the university buildings represented in the photo behind the central faceclaim.
to be completely honest, i would have left an appearance off, were it not a requirement. i have a very slippery view of hugo’s face in my mind’s eye and couldn’t quite capture it with a photo. the model fits well enough, aside from the dark hair, and i particularly think his wistfulness fits hugo.
part three — character swap with snowy’s character kate smith (554 words)
it was just past eleven at night, and the emergency medicine night class kate had signed up for on a whim was finally letting out. she was exhausted, collecting her notes back into her binder and packing up her pens and pencils, but satisfied to be learning so much. field medicine interested kate, and the instructor promised next week they would see a demonstration, which pleased her. so long she had been reading about emergency medical methods in her free time, now a few weeks of lectures had clarified her interest, but a real-life exhibition of the concepts was greatly exciting.
“oh, kate, did you want to come too?” one of the other girls in the class, a few years younger than her, was looking at her with a slightly awkward smile. kate glanced down at her bag, zipping it up and slinging it onto her shoulder with forced casualness. laura, was that her name? or lori— something like that. she hadn’t been paying attention to her classmates’ discussion, so caught up in thinking about next week, so now she was busy thinking what the question could possibly mean. lauren— yes, that was her name— noticed and laughed obligingly, providing an explanation: “a few of us are going out to dinner. probably just in-n-out or mcdonald’s, whatever’s open. wanna come?”
she was hungry. but tired, too, and wishing greatly to return home at this late hour. and yet— it would be nice to make some more friends in the city. she knew so few people, and often felt so lonesome.
“i’d love to,” she answered with a smile. tugging the pushed up sleeves of her hoodie back down to her wrists, she glanced around at the others who were waiting.
two other twenty-something girls, either sisters or girlfriends, kate hadn’t been able to figure them out. an older woman, mid-forties she guessed, who wouldn’t look out of place in a courtroom drama, formal and elegant as she was. a teenage boy, the only high schooler in the class, who sat in the front row and chugged two redbulls each session. what drew all these people together?
“great!” lauren smiled, full of genuine happiness kate agreed to come along, which made her think of audrey. that was happening a lot as of late, with the anniversary of audrey’s moving away just around the corner. “i can call us an uber, unless anyone would rather walk.”
no one protested, so a few minutes the whole group of six piled into a mini van, kate riding shotgun and engaging in polite conversation with their driver. “a class, actually, oh yes, emergency medicine, oh thanks, definitely very interesting, where are you from, i’ve heard its beautiful out there,” and so on.
the in-n-out was located in a mostly abandoned strip mall. they all rushed to get indoors and out of the chilly san francisco air. the light smattering of stars in the sky above again reminded kate of audrey, and a book series they’d both loved in fifth grade. she couldn’t remember what it was called, anymore. that broke her heart, just a little bit. she promised herself to find the series tomorrow as she followed the rest of the group into the restaurant. and maybe give audrey a call, too. a reunion would be nice.
part four — characters meeting (656 words)
the coastal city was far larger than any other hugo had visited, cobbled streets bustling with pedestrians and electric streetcars, multi-story buildings stretching to the foggy sky above, the buzz of frantically overlapping speech in ten languages from spirits and the living alike. no wonder torlin had insisted upon a visit, when san francisco clearly offered such an abundance of cultural interchange and so many opportunities to commune. he was alone in the golden city, having ducked into a small cafe for tea just a few steps out of the library torlin was consulting for the afternoon. hands wrapped around a hot cup of tea, his mind wandered back to the university, the high mountains, his friends who could not join him on this journey to the coast. one day, he promised himself, he’d get rejean beyond the tall university walls.
sipping from his cup, he reached for the book tucked into his pocket. it was quite the story so far, fantastical and horrifying and thought-provoking. he didn’t often pick up works of fiction, but this novel made him wish to read more.
a woman awaiting her order spotted the book and gasped. “frankenstein? by shelley?” she asked, perhaps a bit too excited for the context. hugo nodded politely. “what a book! are you liking it so far?”
“quite nicely,” hugo paused, then continued with a mischievous smile. “this victor fellow reminds me of a few people i’m at school with.”
“i thought you looked like a scholar! which college are you at?” she pulled a chair over to his table and sat without asking. “i attended a few classes at the state normal school myself, but found their medical classes rather lacking in suitable companions.”
“i’m just travelling through, actually. on a trip with my school’s dean. we’re— our university is nowhere near here.” he took another sip of his tea. “you’ve definitely never heard of it.”
“okay, mr. mystery,” she laughed, then her eyes went wide, as if finally realizing the social disorder of the interaction. “oh, introductions, sorry, i’m kate smith.”
“hugo pent,” he answered, “pleased to meet you.” he clapped his hands together, quite restless to return to torlin’s side, and finally made rather intense eye contact with kate. “i hope you’ll forgive me for cutting this short, i have an appointment at—”
“the library?” at his clear shock that her guess was correct, kate grinned. “your dean is sir torlin, right? you really have travelled a far way.” she glanced back at the counter and, spotting her drink ready, stood to collect it. “i’ll join you. i had hoped to attend the lecture, anyways.”
torlin had told hugo nothing of a lecture, but such was the nature of apprenticing with such secretive old man. he stood, shoving the book back into his pocket and stuffing himself into his divinity green overcoat. he would just have to accept her offer of companionship, if they were both going to the library anyways. no matter he had wished for a moment alone.
stepping to kate’s side, he realized they were the exact height. “ready?” he asked.
once at the library, hugo slipped away from kate’s side the moment he could. it was a little hurtful, actually, she’d quite enjoyed their little conversation at the cafe. but maybe his smiles and nods had been nothing but niceties, ingenuine lies.
nevermind that. she was pleased to meet him anyways, to speak to anyone from so secretive a school as elm university, no matter how briefly. curiosity burned in her chest, pulling her deeper into the library towards the reference section. surely something had been written on the university, some sort of background knowledge she could seek before the lecture in an hour.
magic, she thought, remembering the rumors that spread through the room when, at the last lecture in the series, the librarian had announced the next one. real magic. that’s what they teach at elm.
Last edited by opheliio (March 9, 2026 22:12:46)
- VioAquaCat
-
Scratcher
78 posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
.
Last edited by VioAquaCat (March 23, 2026 23:14:52)
- VioAquaCat
-
Scratcher
78 posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
Weekly One - Characters!
Part one: Character Sheet210/200 words
Name: Elijah, goes by Eli
Age: 19 years old
Sexuality: Lesbian
Gender: Female
Likes: Motorcycle rides, hiking, gold earrings, tank tops, leather boots, biking gloves, coffee, loud music, the mountains, fights, and working out
Dislikes: Small spaces, her parents, classical music, skirts, tomatoes, books, and being ignored
Appearance: Brown frizzy hair, usually up in a ponytail or bun. Ivory toned, freckled skin. Green eyes, and sharp features. Elijah is very ~muscular~. She usually wears light tan tank tops and athletic shorts, or even slacks if she’s staying in town.
Favorite song: Sunroof by Nicky Youre and Dazy
Job: Works at a coffee shop, is a part time mechanic
Personality: Eli is very forward and blunt most of the time. She likes teasing people but generally knows where to draw the line. She really enjoys the outdoors and spends the majority of her time outside. She bought a motorcycle when she turned 16 and named it Olivia. Eli is very good with animals and has ‘adopted’ a little cat named Jake.
Eli’s friends:
Levi - Coworker at the mechanic shop. He teases Eli a lot, he likes to invent games.
Jacksi - Girlfriends with Eli, Jacksi is calm and very fashionable. She has a good sense of humor and likes to go running.
Part Two: Mood Board105/100 words
Find image here: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1286274658/
Eli loves to go hiking, especially in the mountains or to visit waterfalls. She works at a coffee shop, (and as a mechanic but I didn't put an image for that lol) and she has her own motorcycle. She enjoys going on early morning rides through the countryside, sometimes accompanied by her friends or her girlfriend. Eli also has like eight piercings, she usually wears various gold earrings. She likes to wear leather boots or hiking boots and she loves nature. One of her favorite places to hike is a rocky mountain covered in a pine forest, ending in a cave hidden by a waterfall!
Part Three: The Swap1037/500 words
Character swapped with @Peachy_Rain
I kinda went a little overboard… sorry lol
*click* *vrrr* Sylvan carefully removed the photo from his camera. He smiled, slightly, at the image. It looked good. Then he tucked it away in the pocket of his bag. He jumped down from the railing he had balanced on to get that photo, joining the crowd below. It was night, the air chilly, and yet the streets were packed with dozens of people talking and laughing and eating.
It was the Moonlight Festival.
Lined up and down the walkways were booths- little attractions for people to stop by and enjoy. While Sylvan was never all that social, especially with strangers, he always enjoyed the festival. It was a good place to capture moments with his camera, and he did like to watch some of the different attractions.
He paused next to a small booth containing jewelry, examining a few of the bracelets. They were nice, but not exactly his vibe. He nodded to the shop keeper, and continued back up the walkway.
A few minutes later, he found himself crouching down to take pictures of the pond. The full moon was perfectly reflected in the water, complemented by the neon lights of the festival shops. The water was still, calm. Nothing disturbed the surface. He looked down at his own reflection, quickly snapping a picture.
Sylvan checked his watch. The festival lasted until two AM, and it was only eight fifty two. His favorite event was about to start. Sylvan stood up, traveling to the pavilion on the other side of the pond. As he approached, an older man ran up to greet him.
“Sylvan! You’re here a bit early.”
Sylvan nodded, brushing his dark hair out of his face. “I wouldn’t want to accidentally miss this.”
The older man, Mr. Lopi, smiled. “I’ve got twenty dollars for you winning this year’s tournament. You were so close last year, you totally should’ve won.”
Sylvan offers a small smile. “Maybe you shouldn’t be biased, sir.”
Mr. Lopi laughs, shaking his head. “No, I suppose I shouldn't be. Well, anyway, we’ve got you situated over at table six this year. Right this way, if you will.”
Sylvan follows as Mr. Lopi leads him over to the table, and Sylvan situates himself on the stool. He sits straight backed and waits patiently, adjusting his glasses, occasionally adjusting his glasses. Slowly but surely, people start to trickle in. Soon, all the tables were full. Sylvan found himself across the table from a red haired woman wearing a beige cashmere sweater. Sylvan nodded to her.
Mr. Lopi stood up on the stage at the front of all the tables. “Attention! Welcome to the annual Moonlight Festival Chess Tournament!”
The clock started, and Sylvan, being white, made his first move. The red haired girl (Sylvan later found out her name was Ollivie) countered. The game continued, and soon, Sylvan’s world became the chess board. Twenty minutes passed. The game was coming to a close- Sylvan had lost his queen and two of his rooks, along with some other pieces. Ollivie was also lacking a queen and other pieces however, and Sylvan was pretty confident he had the game in his bag.
Sure enough, Sylvan moved his bishop and declared, “Checkmate.”
Ollivie froze for a second, then laughed. Sylvan guessed she was somewhat new to the game, as his plays hadn’t been the most clever. Ollivie and Sylvan shook hands, and Sylvan moved on to the next round.
Two hours later, Sylvan was at the finals. He was against a man maybe two or three years older than himself. Sylvan shook hands with him as well, exchanging pleasantries. Sylvan brushed the hair out of his eyes slightly, sitting down at the stool. He was black this round.
White opened with pawn to E Four. Sylvan moved a pawn of his own to D Five. The game had started. Around the two players, a crowd had started to form. Players who had lost someway during the tournament were accompanied by other festival watchers, watching quietly.
The air felt taught, almost tangible. No one spoke. The only sound that could be heard was the clacking of the chess as one piece after another was taken off the board.
The prize for winning was two hundred dollars- not a life hanging amount, but also not nothing. The winner would also get a trophy- Sylvan had one under his belt from two years ago already. He didn't want to go another year without getting a new one.
“Check.” The man across from Sylvan said, changing the position of his bishop. Sylvan moved his king over, smiling. This was going well.
Sylvan's opponent grunted, moving his rook. He couldn't get to Sylvan’s king anymore, not now that he was on black squares.
Sylvan moved his own bishop. “Checkmate.” He declared, and the crowd broke out into cheers and groans. Sylvan’s opponent stared for a second, then smiled, nodded to Sylvan. Mr. Lopi came over and congratulated both of them, grinning.
“Nice job, those were some excellent plays- from both of you. Mr. Tillsdale, if you would join me on stage please.”
Sylvan nodded, shaking hands with the other man again before following Mr. Lopi.
“Thank you, everyone, for being a part of the twenty-seventh annual Moonlight Festival Chess Tournament! Lets all congratulate our winner, Mr. Sylvan Tillsdale!”
The crowd broke out into applause and cheers. Mr. Lopi held out the trophy and a check for two hundred dollars to Sylvan- who accepted them gratefully. “Would you like to say something to the crowd, Mr. Tillsdale?” Mr. Lopi asked, offering Sylcan the microphone.
Sylvan paused for a moment, face heating slightly. What to say? “I-um, Thanks for watching.” He said, shrugging. “I really enjoy chess, and I’m happy to win this year's tournament."
The crowd cheered again, and slowly began to break up. Sylvan pushed the microphone back into Mr. Lopi, and quickly left the stage. He wasn’t one for crowds. Still though, he was proud of himself. Chess was just a hobby for him. It was odd to see how far he’d come since he’d started.
He held his new trophy to his chest, leaving to enjoy the rest of the festival. Maybe he’d play again next year.
Part Four: Meeting1357/600 words
Sorry, I feel like I didnt get enough of Eli and Sylvan interacting :( Unfortunately, time is almost up and I just need to get this done ;-;
Eli and Jacksi walked along the booths of the Moonlight Festival hand in hand. Their shoes clacked against the hard concrete of the walkway, and their breath intermingled with that of a hundred other people. It was very crowded, but less crowded than it had been two hours ago.
“So, where do you want to go next?” Eli asked, nudging Jacksi with her shoulder. Jacksi had bright blue eyes and a wide smile split her face. This was Jacksi’s first time at the Moonlight Festival- she hadn’t gone last year, and before that she had lived in an entirely different city.
Jacksi thought for a moment. “Can we go visit the petting zoo?” She asked, leaning against Eli. Eli smiled, moving to wrap her arm around Jacksi’s shoulders.
“Of course. It's just this way.” Eli led Jacksi around a bend, towards the animal. As they got closer, Eli could hear the tell-tale sounds of bleating, oinking, mooing, and much more. Jacksi smiled, straightening as they arrived.
There were four other people at the petting zoo. A couple, looking at the pigs with their two kids. The petting zoo manager was talking to them, teaching them how to feed the pigs. A little to the side of the zoo, Eli could see some sort of gathering- a crowd watching someone… The crowd blocked her view.
“Ooooh! Look, they have sheep!” Jacksi rushed forward, bending down to pet the sheep.
Eli caught up, kneeling down next to Jacksi. “Aw, they’re adorable!” The sheep were adorable. They were like big bundles of fluff with little legs. There was no way anything could be softer than this.
The petting zoo manager noticed them. “Hey! We actually just got some newborn baby sheep. Would you like to see them?”
Jacksi nodded vigorously.
“Okay! Just follow me!” The manager said, smiling and leading Jacksi forward.
“Hey-” Eli caught Jacksi’s arm before she got too far. “Is it alright if I go look at what's over there?“ She asked, gesturing to the crowd she had seen earlier.
Jacksi glanced over. “Yeah, that's fine! Just come back when you're done.”
Eli nodded. She jogged over to the crowd. Maybe a hundred feet away, she had to pass through some of the forest to get there. Her sleeve caught on a branch, cutting her skin. Eli let out a small cry, trying to tug her sleeve out. Instead, she only managed to get her hair caught as well.
She tried to pull away from the bush quietly, but she was still causing a minor disturbance at the back of the crowd.
“Do you… need any help?” Asked a cool voice behind Eli. She paused, glancing behind her. The stranger had dark black hair that looked like it had been recently cut. His deep blue eyes were like the ocean at night and he had an impeccably sharp jawline. It would've been attractive if Eli wasn't positively a lesbian.
“I… yeah if you wouldn't mind.”
He came over, reaching over to try to untangle her hair from the branches. “Dang- you got yourself really stuck. One second.”
Eli gritted her teeth as she felt a sharp tugging at her scalp as he pulled her hair out of the tree. At last, she got free. Now that her head was free, Eli could work on getting her sleeve free. This time, she was a little more careful than before.
“Thanks.” Eli said as she tugged her arm out. It was still bleeding. “So, who are you?”
The stranger who had helped her looked over.
“Oh I’m… I’m Sylvan. You?” Sylvan said, slightly reluctantly.
“Elijah. But I go by Eli.” Eli said, smiling. She looked back to the crowd, remembering her reason for coming here. “So, what are we watching?”
“It's a bubble artist show.” Sylvan explained.
Eli blinked. “A-a bubble artist show? What's that?”
Sylvan smirked. “Come on, I'll show you.”
Sylvan gestured for her to follow. They ducked and weaved though the crowd, with Sylvan periodically saying “Excuse us,” or “Sorry, coming though” until they finally neared the front of the crowd.
“This is Yan Fang- He’s a professional bubble artist.” Sylvan said, gesturing to the performer on a small platform in front of everyone.
Eli peered over the heads of a laughing girl on her dads shoulders. The performer had light brown hair and a red ringmaster type coat. He was waving around a large bubble wand - not large, huge - and was creating a long bubble- a tunnel of bubble. He was turning it so it coiled around him, the iridescent solution warping his image. It drifted serenely, hanging in the air- until it popped and sent a shimmering shower of solution around him.
“Woah…” Eli murmured, amazed.
“I know, right? There’s something… intoxicating about them. Bubbles, I mean. Maybe it's their color, their shape- I don't know. But whatever it is, I’ve always been fascinated by it.” Sylvan said. His voice had a far-off quality, as if he were entranced by the bubbles.
Bubbles are always fun, always somewhat magical. But in the dark with only warm lamplight to highlight the wonders of the tricks Yan Fang was performing, it was ethereal.
Yan Fang dipped a new wand into his bucket of bubble solution- a wand with dozens of loops. He waved into the air, causing hundreds of small bubbles to form, the wind carrying them over and into the crowd. One popped on Eli’s nose and she giggled. Sylvan pulled out a camera, and began photographing the magical moment.
“You’re a photographer?” Eli asked, watching as Sylvan took a photo of the bubbles floating over the heads of people.
“Yeah.” Sylvan said, not looking at her. “It… it helps me take in the world.”
Eli nodded, though she didn't exactly understand.
They continued watching the show. Yan Fang was very good at his job- the tricks he pulled off were insane. He even made a bubble around a small kid who had volunteered. Sadly, it soon ended, and the laughing crowd began to disperse.
“Well, thank you, Sylvan. I never knew this existed but… it's really cool.” Eli said as Sylvan started to pack away his camera.
“It was pleasant meeting you.” He said, holding out his hand to her.
“Likewise,” Eli said, smiling. She shook his hand. “Well, I’ll be off. I need to find my girlfriend.”
Sylvan nodded to her. He slung his camera bag over his shoulder and left, waving to her. She waved back, then scampered back off to the petting zoo. How long had she been gone?
She tried not to worry about that as she reached the site where she had left Jacksi. She was still there, thank god.
“Jacksi!” Eli yelled, waving her hand and grinning. Jacksi turned around, a concerned look on her voice. It melted into a look of relief as Eli ran up to her.
“I’m sorry, I didn't expect that to take so long.” She panted, taking Jacksi’s hand. “How were the baby sheep?” Eli sat down hard next to her.
Jacksi grinned. “So… Guess what?”
Eli looked at her, confused but smiling. “What?”
“The zoo is going to put the babies up for adoption in a shelter, but Chloe- oh yeah, that's the petting zoo manager’s name, by the way. Anyway, Chloe said that they could save one for us if we wanted!” Jacksi said in a rush.
Eli blinked, but soon her face broke into an excited smile. “I-oh wow! Do you think you could handle a pet sheep?”
“I think we could!” She said, wrapping an arm around Eli. “They gave us their contact info if we were interested.”
Eli stood, helping Jacksi up as well. “Let’s talk over it when we get home, but I think it's a definite possibility."
They started to head back to their car, calling it a night. “So, tell me about what you went to see.” Jacksi said, leaning into Eli.
“Oh! Yes it’s so cool…”
They talked into the night, about bubbles, about photography, about baby sheep, and about their plans for the future. All in all, the Moonlight Festival was a success.
Last edited by VioAquaCat (March 9, 2026 22:34:58)
- 129waterfall
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Scratcher
1000+ posts
SWC Megathread ࿔*:ଳ・ March 2026
WE LOCK IN AND COMPLETE THE CABIN ACTIVITY FOR CABIN WARS
308 words
This is my concept for a new cookie - however, it's not just your average cookie. This is a cookie sandwich - the cookies are a mix of two different cookie doughs. The first, is a snickerdoodle cookie with extra cinnamon. The second is a soaked ladyfinger inspired cookie with espresso powder for that coffee flavor and extra egg yolks and powdered sugar to mimic the flavor of ladyfingers. These two cookies together mimic the flavor of tiramisu, but in a marbled cookie form! The filling for the cookie will be a light and airy frosting with a similar texture to whipped cream, but with a sweeter flavor and added marscapone. Inside of this frosting, there is another filling, a dollop of coffee flavored caramel! In order to make this, first start by preparing the cookie dough. For each, start by combining wet ingredients, like butter, sugar, etc, and then slowly add in the dry ingredients in about four batches. Prepare your baking trays with parchment paper, and take about two tablespoons and a half of each batter, forming them into balls. Don't mix them completely together, leave visible marbling! Place these into the fridge to cool while you preheat the oven. As the cookies are baking, get started on the frosting. Whip the ingredients together with a hand mixer, and then transfer to a piping bag. Put it in the fridge while you work on the caramel sauce in a saucepan. Wait for the cookies to cool as you're finishing up the caramel sauce, then transfer it to a piping bag. Assemble the bottom cookie, a ring of frosting, then pipe some caramel in the center. Place one more cookie on top, and let the cookie sit so the flavors can mingle before enjoying this delicious new dessert! It's a delectable new tiramisu cookie! Crumbl come hire me hehehe
308 words
This is my concept for a new cookie - however, it's not just your average cookie. This is a cookie sandwich - the cookies are a mix of two different cookie doughs. The first, is a snickerdoodle cookie with extra cinnamon. The second is a soaked ladyfinger inspired cookie with espresso powder for that coffee flavor and extra egg yolks and powdered sugar to mimic the flavor of ladyfingers. These two cookies together mimic the flavor of tiramisu, but in a marbled cookie form! The filling for the cookie will be a light and airy frosting with a similar texture to whipped cream, but with a sweeter flavor and added marscapone. Inside of this frosting, there is another filling, a dollop of coffee flavored caramel! In order to make this, first start by preparing the cookie dough. For each, start by combining wet ingredients, like butter, sugar, etc, and then slowly add in the dry ingredients in about four batches. Prepare your baking trays with parchment paper, and take about two tablespoons and a half of each batter, forming them into balls. Don't mix them completely together, leave visible marbling! Place these into the fridge to cool while you preheat the oven. As the cookies are baking, get started on the frosting. Whip the ingredients together with a hand mixer, and then transfer to a piping bag. Put it in the fridge while you work on the caramel sauce in a saucepan. Wait for the cookies to cool as you're finishing up the caramel sauce, then transfer it to a piping bag. Assemble the bottom cookie, a ring of frosting, then pipe some caramel in the center. Place one more cookie on top, and let the cookie sit so the flavors can mingle before enjoying this delicious new dessert! It's a delectable new tiramisu cookie! Crumbl come hire me hehehe