the words crept their way onto the tip of my tongue , aching to fill the silent void
oblivious as always on the other end of the phone
syrupy sweetness rots into toxic waste
the words burned to leave my mouth
the longer the words linger the harsher the sting
instead of a confession i spewed venom
the words “ i love you “ die on the top of my tongue
the corpse contaminating any chance of honesty i might have had

⊹₊ ︵︵︵﹒ㅤ﹒︵︵︵ ₊˚⊹


too late
rabbitkit application


she loves me she loves me not
she hates me

✮⋆˙


₊❏❜ ⋮toc .. ⌒⌒
‿︵‿︵‿‿︵‿︵‿

maisie / me
⭒ about me
⭒ activity
⭒ why i’m applying
⭒ rp experience
⭒ longevity
rabbitkit
⭒ identity + orientation
⭒ personality + dynamics
⭒ trivia
closing
⭒ codewords
⭒ afterward

❝ you act like
i’ve never left you alone ,
but it’s quite the opposite . ❞




BEWARE , BEWARE
THE TRUE SELF IS HERE

{ about me }
✦ hello ! this is pxqrl-lvllqby , or more commonly known as maisie ! i am a dancer who dances 6 days a week , but on my free time i scroll on scratch , looking at mainly roleplay stuff and comments . my other main hobby is reading , and i’m a major fan of powerless , and just the romance genre in general . sadly i’ve never been in an actual relationship , but i’ve been in many situationships , and i am a hopeless romantic . i currently play trumpet , piano , and viola , with viola probably being my favorite instrument to play , and the one i’ve been playing the longest . i know italian and japanese as long with English , which is the common language from where i’m from . i’m in a very cold and snowy state , and winter is my favorite season because it’s just so peaceful outside , and if i get out of school for snow it means i can sleep in ! ! i love sleeping but i stay up very late at night . . . my absolute favorite singer is mckenna grace , and i love her songs because i relate to them all too much haha . . .

{ activity }
✦ i would say i’m fairly active , and by that i mean way more active than is probably necessary . i’m usually on for around 3-4 hours at night , so whatever i need to get done happens between those hours . overall i would rate my activeness 8 / 10 because i’m usually not on a bunch during school as we don’t get many breaks in the classes i take , so i’m completely offline for 7-10 hours in the day , and then i get back online at roughly 3:20 ish est .

{ why i’m applying }
✦ whenever i first saw rabbit , i completely loved his design . the light grey tones matched with the floppy ears and cheetah print near his bobtail was literally heavenly , and i had so many ideas for him . i have been wanting to create a character who isn’t “ perfect “ and others wouldn’t even refer to him as such , but not “ awful “ . just a misunderstood kitty who hasn’t been taught the virtues of life . i promise you that he isn’t like “ evil “ or anything , but i was thinking opalelegy could maybe teach him some nice lessons lol . he will be very developed though , and he will be more than the “ jerk “ he seems to be .

{ rp experience }
✦ i have been roleplaying in general for 5 ish years . on scratch i have only been roleplaying for a little over a year , but offsite i’ve been playing for roughly four years . my first ever roleplay game was warriors : roblox game , which is still relatively popular to this day . i started reading the series when i was 9 , and i started out with the power of three , and it slowly grew until i have a giant collection that i still own to this day . with all of this stated , i would say i’m pretty experienced , and the three major roleplays i’m in here are tfc , gens , and tss along with some less known ones .

{ longevity }
✦ i definitely plan on keeping rabbit until he’s an old fart . i can just see him in the elders den complaining about kits asking for stories and not bringing him prey . he’ll have the old man wrinkles and everything <3 . now i can’t unsee it , old rabbit is literally one of the funniest things that has grazed my mind in a while . i have never , ever killed a character off because i “ didn’t like them or anything “ , the thing closest i have come to doing that is when i voided a sign up for a character , or had a mental health crisis that forced me to leave . i can 100% reassure you that i will not have another crisis , and that scratch is actually healthier for me than leaving all my characters behind .

“ and i love you , but you never seem to love me back so i hide it behind fake smiles and rudeness because i love you . . . and i could never stop . no matter how hard i try you’ll always be the one i’m fighting for . “ - rabbit



❝ no matter how many times i fall ,
it’s always for you . ❞

identity + orientation
✦ gender: i plan for rabbit to be male for most of his life , maybe become genderfluid towards his older years , but at the moment he’s a tom with he / him pronouns
✦ sexuality: bisexual / biromantic ( 50% female ;; 50% male )


₊❏❜ personality
positives { + } intelligent , devoted , charismatic , perceptive , deeply loving
neutrals { = } two faced , performative , knowledge seeking , selective morality , emotionally volatile
negatives { - } manipulative , hypocritical , rude / mouthy , obsessive , pushy

rabbit wants to be perfect . or , more specifically , he wants others to think he’s perfect . he’s knows exactly what he’s doing , and when to do it . others will think it’s just an accident , but he knows it’s not . he wanted what he got , and he got what he wanted . if the best way to get to someone’s heart is to worry them , then he’ll do it in an instant , making them think something is genuinely wrong with him , then tricking them and taking the very thing he wanted . he will not do this to very few people . his family is safe . his true lover is safe . his friends are safe . no one else can escape him , because the grass is greener on the other fence , and his grass is on fire . he needs better grass .

his devotion is unwavering , unbreaking . he loves his siblings and mother very much , and if any cat tries to harm him . . . well they just better not . this smart tom could finish them with his words . he could ruin them with a look if he wanted to . he could tap into his viper tongue and leave them scorched after a couple of words , crying and running away , but of course he would never turn his back on his family , no matter how much they disappoint him . if any of his siblings or opal had an enemy and asked him to help , he would be the perfect guy to send , because he hates hurting people physically , but mentally is his normal pain giver .

he is so much an actor , he doesn’t even know who he is anymore , so every moon he gets sweeter , sweeter , bitter , sweeter , and so on , trying to figure the perfect balance that’s well liked , but still him .

✦ mbti: ENTP
quick-witted and audacious , people with the ENTP personality type ( debaters ) aren’t afraid to disagree with people . in fact , they’re not afraid to disagree with pretty much anything or anyone . few things light up these personalities more than a bit of verbal sparring , and if the conversation veers into controversial terrain , so much the better .
it would be a mistake , though , to think of ENTPs as disagreeable or mean spirited . instead , people with this personality type are knowledgeable and curious with a playful sense of humor , and they can be incredibly entertaining . they simply have an offbeat , contrarian idea of fun , one that usually involves a healthy dose of spirited debate .

✦ enneagram: 3w4
the 3w4 personality type combines the drive for achievement of type 3 with the depth and individuality of type 4 . this creates individuals who pursue success while maintaining a unique personal identity and aesthetic sensibility .
unlike the more socially focused 3w2 , the expert is more introspective and concerned with being genuinely exceptional rather than just appearing successful . they want their achievements to reflect their authentic self .

✦ temperament: choleric - sanguine
the motivator tends to be very impatient and will often take a win / lose approach to life . they are practical and use direct , sometimes forceful methods to get quick results but still show some interest in people . they are goal and bottom line oriented and can be very forceful in promoting their ideas . they want to be in charge because of confidence in their ability to make decisions .

“ i never said ‘ i love you , ‘
i’m mad you were late , right ?


✦ views

ꕀ view on religion
rabbit believes in something greater the way others believe a big authority figure is both comforting and scary . he loves the idea of something bigger than him , stronger than him in the sense that he would always strive to be better . this gives his chaos a boundary . to him starclan isn’t a safe , loving place . it’s full of judgement and power , so he must be good enough for the cats in the stars . he is not devout because of purity , it is because of loyalty and fear ; loyalty to riverclan and his family , and fear of what happens when he doesn’t support them both . he behaves heavenly around elders and leader because they themselves feel like living add ons of the divine power . he will not question religion openly , for that feels like outright betrayal , but he fears if starclan disapproved of him , he would finally believe even the universe declared him “ not worth keeping . “

ꕀ view of positivity
rabbit treats positivity as a performance rather than an actual thing to be . to him being “ nice “ or “ sweet “ is just a tool to repair damage and regain favor . when someone calls him mean , he floods them with kindness and positivity until he feels liked again . genuine positivity terrifies him because it means the cat isn’t using it for leverage , and they are better than rabbit in his eyes , and he just can’t be having that . he doesn’t not trust pure happiness without it being strategic , but he wants to be seen as positive at the same time , because cats like that are usually enjoyed more . for rabbit , positivity regularly is just something you do , not something you are . of course he is still positive and happy , just not enough to where he recognizes it and pats himself on the back , but he is very happy . lol

ꕀ view of negativity
negativity is natural to rabbit , even though he hates that it is . he believes that negativity is raw and sharp , able to get him what he wants very quickly . when he is cruel or rude he feels briefly powerful because negativity gives him control . however , he also internalizes every negative thing he says , especially when whatever he says mirrors his own insecurities . his insults are confessions wearing teeth . he is allowed to be negative , but others are not towards him , because that feels like straight up rejection . for him negativity is something he can own , but nobody else can . his negativity refuses to reach his family , his viper tongue melting into sugar and honey whenever he is near them .

ꕀ view on romance
rabbit views romance as obsession wrapped in terror . he falls in love very suddenly and intensely , often before he even truly knows the other cat . romance represents everything he could ever want , and everything that could ever destroy him ;; being chosen , being seen , being idolized . he puts his love interests on a pedestal , then panics when he realizes the amount of vulnerability that comes with romance . this is exactly why he confesses and retreats , advances and retracts . loving someone means giving them the power to utterly destroy you , and that thought is unbearable to rabbit .

ꕀ view on hate
hate is something rabbit understands intimately and uses it both as a shield and a test . when he is the one who holds the hatred first , it feels like a twisted kind of protection . if he strikes before you , then you are unable to harm him , and he wins . hate is not something to be feared . you do not fear hate , you worship it and hope that it likes you back , a favorite saying of kiwi .

you.
were.
late.

✦ family dynamics

ꕀ opalelegy
opal is rabbit’s constant . she is the first cat he orbits , the one he checks for before anyone else he loves . her approval motivates him , it her absence destabilizes him . even as a kit , he watches her emotions very carefully learning how to soothe her and keep her close . as a younger kit , he doesn’t quite understand how , but as he gets older he understands her much better , and easily calms her down . kiwi keeps her promises as contracts , not pure comfort . when she promises she will return , he believes it , but in a more literal , binding way . this gives a concept where his mama offers safety , and he clings into it with desperation . rabbit wants to be independent , but only when opalelegy is watching . he would explore , ask questions , etc. whenever she is present , but as soon as she’s somewhere else , he becomes smaller and sharper . more defensive . this is a dynamic that can make him seem confident to others while secretly tethered to her .

ꕀ littermates
as kits , rabbit is extremely generous with his littermates , giving them gifts and stuff . he brings them moss bits , shiny pebbles , feathers , things he chose . he likes positioning himself as the sibling who notices , the sibling who cares . this phase in sincere , as he wants to be noticed by them , liked most of all . he wants the family to feel permanent . rabbit does not handle betrayal well , and his version of betrayal is rather flexible . trivial things like siding with another kit on something , or forgetting a promise . “ betrayals “ add up , and he becomes colder to his siblings , not mean but indifferent . like he actually doesn’t care , but he really , truly does . rabbit will cling to a certain sibling , either praising them for their similarities to him , or feeling as if he needs to protect them .

ꕀ older siblings
when rabbit is just a baby , he idolizes his older siblings . to him they are mythical . faster , stronger , smarter . he could only wish to grow up like them one day . around them , he is uncharacteristically well behaved , polite , and eager to please . he worships them . kiwi learns early in that his older siblings don’t have to love him , so he fights for their approval and love , a little servant running around for the longest time . as he grows , kiwi will start resenting them , hating how they are fine for things he would have gotten scolded for . he notices this imbalance , and turns for opalelegy for answers . he will test them . on loyalty . on bravery . on things he deemed make a great cat . the “ winner “ in his eyes will be the one he chases after , the one he will never be mad at . same goes for any other family members .

✦ what he thinks

ꕀ about himself
rabbit thinks about himself as something fundamentally flawed , but still perfect . he believes he is sharper than most cats , and that this awareness is both his greatest strength and his curse . he feels as if he is not just “ mean “ or “ difficult “ . he is reactive , provoked , misunderstood . at the same time , he has this fear that if someone saw all of him , the true him , they would think him “ too much “ , and leave him . this fear eats at him making him feel exceptional and unlovable at once . he feels perfect , but like a puppet who’s the main character , waiting for the scene where others talk about what he did wrong to be over .

ꕀ about his family
rabbit believes his family is the only thing that has ever anchored him to the world . he loves them so much , but that love is threaded with fear and expectation . in his mind , family is supposed to stay , but he has learned early that “ staying “ is not guaranteed ( maybe learns it from a dream or something ) he divides his family internally . those who chose him , those who disappointed him , and those he still hopes might come back around . he does not believe family love is unconditional . he believes it must be maintained through loyalty , attention , and usefulness . his mama is the only thing against this . her love is unconditional , at least rabbits love for her is .

ꕀ about death
death terrifies rabbit not because of pain , but because of being forgotten . the idea of disappearing , of no longer being remembered or spoken about frightens him more than any physical end . he thinks about death often , but abstractly . who decides who is remembered ? who fades ? who becomes nothing more than a name ? starclan , to him , is less a comfort and more a record keeper , and he fears being deemed unimportant enough to forget . if he has been remembered after death , it means some part of him has beaten the inevitable ending .

ꕀ about his self-consciousness
rabbit is acutely aware of himself at all times . he notices how he’s standing , how his words land , how others’ eyes shift when he speaks . this self-consciousness doesn’t make him quieter , it makes him louder, more dramatic , more performative , because silence gives him too much room to spiral . he believes that if he controls the narrative , if he speaks first and sharpest , he can’t be judged unfairly . yet every slip , every ramble , every moment of vulnerability fills him with immediate regret .

ꕀ ❝ i fall and i fall and i fall . . .
but no one’s there to catch me ,
not even you who i thought i loved . ❞

✦ trivia ..

» nicknames ꕀ kiwi , bunny , rabbi
» hobbies ꕀ arguing with people in his head , hunting ( when he’s old enough ) , play fighting ( and winning )
» favorite… ꕀ
» color - forest green
» food - fresh minnow
» flower - forget me nots
» animal - wolf
» time of day - early morning ( before dawn )
» weather - overcast with humid air
» season - late summer

» playlist ꕀ
» everybody wants to rule the word - tears for fears
» i wanna be yours - the artic monkeys
» the other side - hugh jackman
» poker face - lady gaga
» liability - lorde
» how bad can i be - the lorax
» this is me trying - taylor swift
» control - halsey

» human au ꕀ
» first name - charlie
» last name - lapin
» job - police officer ( “ bad cop “ )
» where he lives - giant mansion in the suburbs
» fav book - doesn’t read ;; prefers not to read words he didn’t write
» fav movie - white chicks lol
» dream vacation - visiting alcatraz

“ sometimes i feel like
poisoned sugar “

{ codewords }
kiwi didn’t understand how others bumbled like a bee around him .
they should say what they mean and leave , because he in no way cared .
the sky looked like a bruise , purple as this weird
cat was telling him how they missed leafbare .
winter , they called it .
he didn’t know why they called it that ,
but surely they were crazy .

✦ afterward
thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to apply for kiwi , i love him so much now , and i’m honestly so connected . this application took me around 2 weeks , so i have out much thought into it , and i would be so honored if you would choose me to roleplay this little bean ! i wish you , and any others reading this the best of luck in any stress inducing things coming up ! - maisie

i loved her so much
she left me

{ RESEARCH }

bobtail research

general research - a bobtail is usually caused by a genetic mutation that affects the spinal development . it usually affects balance and agility . the tail is critical for things like counterbalance , jumping, or sudden turns . many bobtailed cats adjust to their lack of longer tail , but they would still be less agile or corrdinated compared to cats with longer tails . cats with bobtails may have spinal issues as well ( particularly in manx cat mutations ) . they could have spinal malformations , nerve issues or incontinence . if the bobtail is natural occurring , and not a mutation , the risks are lower for rabbit . he may get used to having these issues , or not being as good at balancing as other cats , and it would probably lead to some plot points .

how it would affect him - having a bobtail would affect rabbit , even if isn’t by a bunch . kiwi will hate that others are better at something than him , specifically balancing and racing in harsh terrain ( for jumping purposes ) . once he figures out that his tail actually slows him down , he stops doing the things that are harder for him to win at , and starts challenging others at his own activities . now , for the spinal problems , i feel as if he would have slight issues , but they would start as he is an older apprentice , and they slowly get worse and worse as he gets older . they will not , and i feel i cannot stress this enough , will not be life threatening for rabbit specifically . they will just be minor inconveniences when he first starts getting them , and as an elder , they will most likely be back pains . the spinal issues can kill some bobtailed cats ( mainly manx ) , but this will not be the case with rabbit . the spinal issues will create some plot points and further extend rabbits character and how he feels about his bobtail .

ꕀ SRP ;; the forlorn traveler
fast forward a couple moons , rabbitkit has been an apprentice for a while , and he has just gotten his heart broken . it feels like the end of the world , but as rabbit will soon realize , it’s not , and he only liked this cat because they worshipped him . they stopped because they realized it wasn’t love . not meant to be . now rabbit will be going on a walk , thinking about all the good and bad things about love , and why he should keep doing it .

. . .

rabbit padded quietly through the edges of riverclan camp , paws sinking slightly into damp earth . the air smelled of wet moss and smoke , and everything seemed muted . his eyes were distant , locked on a point somewhere far past the trees .
“ stupid , “ he muttered under his breath , low enough that no one could hear . “ all of it . . . every word , every look . . . what did i think it was? “
he stopped for a moment at the river’s edge , watching his reflection waver in the current. the ripples made him look small , vulnerable . too soft for someone who pretends to be clever . and he had been clever , but not enough . not enough to make love stay , not enough to make them choose him and only him .
“ so it’s over , “ he said again , louder this time . he could feel the ache in his chest , sharp and hollow , a new kind of weight he had never wanted to carry .

and yet .

even as he turned and padded away from the river , the ache didn’t stop him . it couldn’t . because in the end , he knew that love , even when it fails , is worth chasing . it teaches him how to see , how to feel , how to demand attention , how to notice the smallest things . it makes him sharp , alive , dangerous .
he flicked his tail , a small , bitter laugh escaping him . “ i’ll do it again , “ he said to no one , the words almost a promise . “ and maybe . . . they’ll actually love me . and i’ll be wanted . “ it was a dream of his . to be wanted . and now that it was happening , it made him so happy , but terrified also . because to be wanted , he had to accept that others would hate him .

but he was okay with that .

he was okay because no matter how many times his heart got broken , there will always be someone else . someone he was willing to sacrifice so much for , and hoped it would be the same for that cat . of course , heartbreak hurt , but so did not being loved . if you try , and you try , and you try so hard for something you really want . if you reach out with your heart , and spend a long time trying to obtain something , your hard work will pay off and you will get what you wanted .

at least that’s what kiwi thought .