model girlfriend (1995 words)
Steven was lonely – very lonely. Lying in his messy bed, he felt completely and utterly alone.

He shouldn’t be; living in New York City, he was constantly surrounded by millions of lights, lives, and limousines. Yet, being near so many people made Steven feel like a loner. There he was, at midnight, in his small apartment, scrolling on his cracked phone.

Life was supposed to get better after college, that’s what they all told him. But, one year after graduating, Steven felt disappointed, let-down – his life was a movie that didn’t meet his expectations. Everyday felt the same – no, everyday was the same. A mindless routine, an endless train going in circles. Steven yearned for something different, something that would bring flavor to his life.

He had no roommates, and his family lived on the other side of the country. Most importantly, Steven didn’t have a partner. His parents were already married at his age – 24 – and he was still single. Stanley, his best friend, was already planning a proposal to his girlfriend.

Steven hadn’t even had his first kiss yet!

Of course, he’d tried dating apps: Timber, Bumble, Hinge, to name a few. He’d been on a few dates, but none of them had worked out. In fact, he’d had one earlier today. The girl, Emily – or Emma? –, had walked away as soon as Steven paid the bill. When he tried to text her, he found that she had blocked him.

At that time, he had to resist the urge to throw his phone. Now, with the dark vulnerability of the night, he couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in his heart. With every passing day, the hole in his heart grew wider; Steven needed someone in his life, otherwise who would he be?


I guess this is my life now. He let out a small chuckle, but there was truth in his statement. Sighing, Steven turned back to the addictive comfort of this phone.

To an onlooker, it was a sorrowful sight. While bedsheets covered his body, blue light revealed his drooping features: squinted eyes, disheveled blond hair. Of course, he didn’t want to continue – but he didn’t want to stop, either. Waves of endless shorts consumed his mind: the same screaming, sped-up song; the same content creators faking their lives for views. It was horrible, and fascinating.

Steven’s thumb swiped up, and he dully watched a Tiktoker, hair resembling a bird’s nest, describe his hot girlfriend. Urgh. Not this again. He began to swipe, but then the Tiktoker said something – “Find yours with this link!”.

Steven’s thumb stopped. Find yours?

He furrowed his brows and let the TikTok play. “I’ve always wanted a girlfriend,” bird’s nest said. “But, thanks to BANG, my dreams became my reality! You, yes, you” – he pointed at the camera – “can do the same. With a 100% match rate, find yours with this link!”

Watching in subdued wonder, Steven dared to hope. Was this the chance? Can I finally find love?

It seemed as if the universe had given a sign – a sign that could not be ignored. Steven clicked on the link and was instantly transferred to a webpage. A sleek, monochromatic design emphasized the company’s name, BANG. Then, scrolling down, Steven saw the words “Find your ideal girlfriend”. Interesting…

First off, he’d love a partner with blonde hair and blue eyes, just like him. In fact, he always liked girls with long and wavy hair, going down past their shoulders – Steven made sure to specify that.

When he reached the nationality section, he paused. Obviously, he was American. But, did he want an American girlfriend? Maybe she could come from an exotic country? Steven always fancied Swedish girls – Korean girls, too… After a few moments, he settled on “British”; it was the perfect balance between familiar and foreign. Besides, British accents are hot.

The last section asked for his ideal girlfriend’s name. What kind of question is that? He thought for a minute, then left it blank.

Finally, he was done. But before he could submit, Steven was greeted with a “Pay now” page. Urgh. Of course. All good things come with a price, literally. His strained eyes glanced at the cost, a whopping $499.99. His eyes widened – for a moment, he was unsure. Could this sketchy website even find a girl nearby that met his requirements?

But, he really wanted – no, needed – a girlfriend. Nothing could stop the price of love, and so, Steven paid the bill. After all, you only live once.

He looked through the windows of his empty apartment, stars shining in the night. Can my endless lonely days finally end?

Steven’s eyes suddenly darted to the time: 3:06 a.m. Yikes. He put his phone away and settled into a comfortable position. Please, please work. And with that, he closed his eyes.

In the city that never sleeps, Steven slept.

~

When Steven woke, the city was in full swing. At its zenith in the blue sky, the sun was the disco ball, brightening the party below. The music was composed of a cacophony of car honks. Pedestrians navigated the dance floor, seeking shade to avoid the sweltering heat.

It was noon, and it was noon in the city.

Steven rubbed his eyes and sat up. For some reason, his pillow was on the floor, and he had rotated to the other side of his bed. Sitting up, the events of the night came back in vivid detail. He winced – did I really spend $500 to find another girlfriend? It was too early to contemplate his decisions, so he got out of bed.

Steven had a quick breakfast, then sat back on the mattress – he never really had anything to do on weekends. Stanley’s visiting tonight, he thought. At least I’ll have something to look forward to.

In the meantime, should he go grocery shopping? Or stay indoors, with the A/C? Before he could decide, a firm knock came from the door.

That’s weird – Stanley wasn’t due for a few hours. Steven walked to the door, a whole three steps from his bed, and opened it.

Standing outside his door was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She wasn’t just pretty, no – she was drop-dead gorgeous. With her long lashes and slightly puffy lips, she looked like she came from heaven. To top it off, the woman bore a striking resemblance to Steven’s preferences: luscious blonde hair, going down below her shoulders, and electric blue eyes.

Steven stood in shock; it wasn’t everyday that he was greeted by a literal angel outside his door. After a few moments, he mustered up the courage. “Hi,” he said, then winced – someone help me.

The woman smiled, and Steven’s world lit up. “Hello, is this Steven?” she asked, traces of a British accent present.

He put his hands in his pockets, trying to appear unbothered. “Yeah, that’s me,” he replied, then paused. “How did you know?”

She nodded, and Steven wondered how she made the smallest things look so perfect. “We matched on BANG yesterday, and I wanted to get to know you better.”

“Oh,” said Steven. He looked her up and down. “Wow, you look exactly like who I wanted my girlfriend to be,” he said casually.

She winked. “And you look like my perfect boyfriend,” she smirked. “My name is Aimee, pleased to meet you.”

Steven’s head was still wrapped around the “perfect boyfriend” part, but he grinned and ran his fingers through his hair. “So,” he gestured back, “do you want to come in?”

Aimee’s electric blue eyes glanced at the apartment. “I never thought you would inquire.” The hint of a smile played on her lips. “Care to lead me in?”

Oh my gosh – she had extended her hand out. He gave a wobbly smile. “Sure,” he said. Steven reached his hand out, and hesitated. He looked down and met Aimee’s expectant gaze; then, after a split second, he took her hand.

It was silky smooth, so smooth that he could melt in it. Her touch was a dove’s feather, and for a moment, he could feel nothing else. Then, gently holding her hand, Steven led Aimee into the apartment.

His studio apartment was in rough condition: his disheveled bed, the remains of his breakfast in the sink, his clothes strewn on the wooden floor. “Sorry,” he said, turning around to face her. “It usually doesn’t look like this.” Hopefully she believes me.

Aimee laughed, a bubbling sound that made Steven forget his worries. “Do not worry, I have seen much worse.” She squeezed his hand, and his heart gave a little jolt.

The only available space in the apartment was Steven’s unmade bed, so they sat at its edge. Just a few hours ago, I was scrolling here in the dead of night. Now, he was holding hands with the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. His bed, once a symbol of his loneliness, was now where he sat with his lover.

Steven looked at Aimee’s perfect face, then flinched. Her eyes, now inches away, were strikingly blue. It was almost unnatural, the intensity of her electric gaze – too rich to be real. And, when she was staring at him, it seemed as if her pupils were constantly twitching, ever so slightly.

He blinked, and the moment ended. “Stevie,” Aimee said, placing her hand on his shoulder. “May I call you Stevie?”

Suddenly, Steven couldn’t imagine being called anything else. “Yes,” he grinned. “Yes, you can.”

She smiled back at him. “Stevie,” she repeated. “It is so nice to finally meet you. I have been waiting for this moment.”

Steven broke eye contact and looked around his small apartment. “I never thought this would happen.” He turned to his thoughts. This is what my life can be. He had found her, Aimee, the love of his life. The girl he trusted, the girl he loved, the girl he would spend the rest of his life with.

His girlfriend.

The whir of the air conditioner brought Steven back to reality. Aimee was inches away, tucking her blonde hair under her ear. He moved his hand tentatively to her side, and was greeted by a smile. Was this going to be it?

Aimee leaned towards him, her exhales on his face. His heart pumped rapidly, and he could feel his breaths grow shallow. Closing his eyes, Steven slowly leaned towards his girlfriend, blood rushing, mind racing. And, just like that, it happened.

For a moment, he felt nothing. Silence, and darkness. All at once, a violent rush went to his head. He felt a thousand wildfires, a thousand fireworks, a thousand burning stars. This is really happening. Steven was exuberant.

Out of nowhere, a metallic taste entered his mouth. He felt as if he was biting down on an old, rusted coin; it was horrible. Steven instantly pulled away, coughing. Just like that, it was over.

Aimee glanced at him, patting his back with her silky smooth hand. “Would you like me to assist you?”

A bitter aftertaste remained; it was almost as if there was metal in Aimee’s mouth when they had kissed. “No,” he said. The memory of his exuberance resurfaced, and Steven beamed. “Wow, I can’t believe we just did that.”

She winked, then rose, taking her hands off his shoulder. “I think I have overstayed my welcome,” Aimee said. Hand on the doorknob, she smiled at him. “See you soon, Stevie.” And, in the blink of an eye, she was gone.

Sitting on his bed, Steven was alone for the second time that day. But, this time, he wasn’t truly alone. He had met someone new; she was perfect, almost too good to be true. His life was bursting with millions of new possibilities, but all of them involved her. I have a girlfriend. Grinning, he laid back in his messy bed.

Steven was no longer lonely; he was in love.

author's note

model girlfriend - author's note
hi! thank you so much for reading the piece, as well as this author's note!! i know that for the past few entries, i haven't really wrote much, but for this one specifically, i have a few things to say.

the idea for this piece struck me one night this july, and i laid in bed for a long time planning what i could do with it… i think i was subconsciously inspired by duncanyounot's video about ai girlfriends (yes aimee is an ai girlfriend hehe). something that intrigued me was how he was able to pick exactly who we wanted her to be, and i wanted to write something about that.

something else that inspired me was a conversation i had with my older sister about how one of her friends can't stand to be alone romantically, which i think is something that lots of people can relate to. i wanted to explore the lengths of what someone would do to find a lover, even if it's not necessarily the best thing to do! and how people will ignore the flaws of someone, because they perceive their lover as perfect.

i wanted to write this story to satirize deluded lovers, but also people's trust in ai. this is actually only the first half of the story i want to write, so the second half will focus a lot more on the ai part (let me know if you want to be updated!). when writing this story, i read that like 80% of gen-z would consider marrying an ai, and i think that's so crazy? so steven's blind devotion to aimee is representing how people will follow ai all the time.

something also that i was taking into consideration is that i feel like lots of the stories in the writing comp are super emotional (which is amazing). but i wanted to do something different and write a story that's not necessarily heartwarming nor heartwrenching, but just fun to read.

this is the longest story i wrote so far, and i really liked it!! i wrote a lot of the first scene at the backseat of my mom's car under the cover of darkness, listening to my favorite songs, and it was such a mood. i'm really really proud of this story and i hope you enjoyed it.

thank you SO much to may, kiara, sofa, and leopard for critiquing. it was super helpful and it would not be the same without you guys!

also shoutout to chatgpt for giving me tips on how to make aimee sound more robotic (i know this piece was satirizing people's trust in ai… but dw about it, it's all part of a larger plan trust)

and finally, thank you so much to dragon for being through the whole process, from when i first had the idea to when i finished the first draft to finally submitting the piece. u r the best <333

fun fact: BANG stands for “Build a New Girlfriend”. also aimee's name was chosen because it starts with “ai”. also, after i chose it, i found out that it means “beloved”, which is a nice touch! also im a taylor swift fan so thank you aimee hehe

7/28 Bestselling Bookstore daily! (155 words)
After Jaime died in a freak accident, she leaves her lover to grieve with her loss. But, little does he know, Jaime still breathes the air as he does – as a ghost. Unable to wrap her head around her death, she vows to remain on earth until the day her lover passes away. Day after day, Jaime explores her life in a new perspective, unable to talk to anyone else. Her lover grieves her loss, while she grieves his. As days turn into years, Jaime’s lover slowly finds a new partner and lives a happy life. Unable to find the closure she needs, she can’t stop following her lover, trying to do anything to reach him. He’s moved on with his life, while Jaime is eternally confined to his, picturing the life they could’ve had together. She didn’t want to pass away, but is living a haunted life just as bad? Jaime can’t tell the difference…

unofficial critique for dragon!! (784 words)
EEK im so excited! here it is! ill just give some quick, line-by-line fixes (compared to like the whole piece and how to change it). ALSO THIS IS ONLY CRITIQUE FROM ME, YOU ARE THE AUTHOR IN THE END!

I only fear monsters,
The ones under your bed

for all of the other stanzas, there's a period after the second line, so maybe add that after “bed” for consistency.

They watch you writhe under their petrifying gaze
And make you shrivel up on the inside.
The skeletons never fully decompose.

“The skeletons never fully decompose” sounds like it's kinda on its own, so if you want to emphasize it, you could put it in italics or in parentheses? up to you tho, this is just a stylistic choice!

it could be

They watch you writhe under their petrifying gaze
And make you shrivel up on the inside.
The skeletons never fully decompose.

or

They watch you writhe under their petrifying gaze
And make you shrivel up on the inside.
(The skeletons never fully decompose.)

if you wanted!

I only fear monsters,
The ones in your closet.

idk if you wanted to keep the second line more simple/short, but if you wanted to add more, you could add actions that they're doing! for example, “The ones hiding in your closet” or “The ones lurking underground”

They make you fall, then they bury you up.
Leave you to choke, alive, with no oxygen.

something to consider would be adding an em dash after “bury you up”, because it kinda connects the two lines, while still separating them! it would look like:

They make you fall, then they bury you up—
Leave you to choke, alive, with no oxygen.

All that’s left is to drown in soil.

omg yes love itt!!!

Those that bang and they bang — no, that’s not the wind.

SMALL NITPICK *erm actually* you should use an em dash, not a hyphen, because that's gramatically incorrect heh

In the dead of night, no one hears you scream.

omg LOVE this line if you wanted to, you could also italicize it! (but also take this with a grain of salt, because if you italicize every last line of the stanza, it might not stand out as much)

I only fear monsters,
The real ones, that hurt you.

the second line has a comma, while for the other stanzas there aren't any commas, just pointing that out.

They stab and they stab, til you’re numb inside and out

i think(??) “till” would be the right way? or it could also be 'til

A bird dies if it has no wings to fly with.

omg this is SOOO good you should DEFINITELY emphasize this one if you wanted to

Who knew you could die while your body still worked, huh?

i think you added the “huh” to be more casual, but i feel that the “who knew” at the beginning already does it well. for me personally, the “huh” at the end isnt super important for the main part of the question, but thats just me!

They stand behind you like immoveable mountains, not letting you turn;

the correct spelling is “immovable”! also personal preference but i'd use a period at the end, because this sentence isn't super connected to the last two? up to you tho!

When they say they’ve got your back,
They mean they’ve got a knife to stab it.

omg percy jackson reference 100%

I only fear monsters,
The ones that exist.

i feel like you're referring to monsters that havent died yet, so i'd change the second line to “The ones that still exist” to clarify.

They are created by us; by extension we’re monsters.

this is a pretty hard-hitting line, LOVE IT! i'd add a comma after “by extension”, though.

Stuck in a mindless circle of history, history, history.
If we were to learn, we’d be safe; but alas, we are stupid.

LOVE THESE!

We should fear monsters.
They’re horrible things.

maybe adding a semicolon after “monsters” could connect them better?

Instead we blindfold our eyes and plug our ears, and put on all of our brave faces.

hmm i'd add a comma after “instead”. i'd also remove “all of” and keep it as “put on our brave faces” bc we already know it's talking abt many people. you could put the three verbs as a list, kinda like

Instead, we blindfold our eyes, plug our ears, and put on our brave faces.

or you could also keep the “and” and try this?

Instead, we blindfold our eyes and plug our ears, putting on our brave faces.

We’ve been tricked to believe that no one really lives, and

“tricked to believe” sounds kinda sus to me, the way the words roll together. i would do smth like “fooled into believing” or “misled into believing” BUT UP TO YOU. also side note, the “and” at the end kinda throws me off bc it feels abrupt? maybe changing it to a semicolon would be better?

If we can survive a day, then we can survive a lifetime, right?

omg i love this!!!

Do you hear the monsters laughing?
Haha, you do, but we just laugh right with them, don’t we?
Let's pretend we’re having fun.
HAHAHAHAHAHA

bruh idk if it's just me but this last line kinda throws me off HELPPPP (not a bad thing necessarily tho ) for me personally (idk if it's what you'd agree with tho, listen to your heart first), i'd remove the “Haha” in the second line?? because the “just” and “don't we” already show the kinda sarcastic vibe? also maybe adding a line after the first line to show how they laugh cruelly or something would be good!
ermmm for the third line, i'd maybe italicize or put it in parentheses to emphasize it! and for the last line… im not super sure about it, i get where youre going with it but it kinda throws me off so maybe you could remove it, or change it to something else, like a final statement about laughing with the monsters. or smth?? IDKKKK

i think some things to consider: for me the 3rd line, i like removing “like” and making it a metaphor, for ex: “It's a fork on a chalkboard, nails on rusty metal” or you could even remove the “it's”, up to you if u even want to change it tho!
also i think having an emdash at the of the “having fun” line could be rlly good to connect the final two lines!

ok overall i really really liked this, it was so poetic and it was one of the best pieces from u that i read. i love the different stanzas starting the same and having some variation. i interpreted the poem about how someone kinda is scared of dark thoughts and the brutal reality of life (both physical and mental monsters), but pretends they dont really exist and try to erase them due to that. THX FOR LETTING ME CRITIQUE, LOVED IT <333

7/30 Daily - Space Object (309 words) I chose comet!
Being a comet is rather isolating; after all, there’s no one I can stop to talk to as I orbit the earth. In the vacuum of space, a silent encounter does millions for me. I rotate around our sun, each orbit taking decades. Frost and cold ice cover my surface; I think that’s pretty cool. Sound can’t travel through space, but feelings still can. While burning, hot objects are abundant (i.e., the inner planets, meteors), cold objects are harder to find closer to the sun. After all, coldness is the absence of heat, and with the mighty radiance of the sun, the absence of heat is harder to find.

Something I find that’s cool about me is that my orbit is elliptical; of course, the purpose of our journeys is to get close to the sun. And then, when we reach it, we keep going and do it all over again. It may seem pointless, but I find solace in the perpetuity of this task. It gives me something to do, and when I do it, I know to do it again. Also, this one guy, Johannes Kepler, made a few laws about our movement – I think that’s super cool. Something so mundane to us can be explained by science, by patterns, by repetition. Fun fact: Kepler's Second Law can help demonstrate angular momentum, for all the physics nerds out there.

And finally, something I wanted to share, before I go, is that it could take a lifetime for you to see me again. Halley’s Comet comes by the earth every 75 years or so; 2061 will be the next time. For us comets, humans are just a fraction of our lifetimes. It gets lonely seeing so much change when you’re gone, so I hope you can think of us when you do look into the skies above.

july 2025 thank-you notes
even though the session is over, it's still july, so i'm going to be writing these real quick. i don't want to make them too long, because whenever i do that, i don't have enough energy to actually finish. if i dont include you, know that i still thank you just as much <33

to kiara: thank you for leading bi-fi with me this month, it was soooo amazing!!! i really loved everything that we did together, and it was soo amazing (yes i know i already said that). the idea was so cool and im glad that we got to make it happen. i could not have asked for a better partner. i cant believe it's also been a year since thriller psychic agency as well :0 to think that a year later we'd be co-leading together is so cool!!! see you around <33

to sofa: omg im still soooo happy we got to co-lead this session together, it was such a dream!! u are the best person ever to co-lead with, im soooo happy!!! happy late birthday as well! it was so amazing this month to talk to you and do fun things with. the profile pictures you made are def the best ones this session (shh dont tell anyone). whether it's your amazing cello playing, or ur archery tournaments, or ur ballet app, or ur singing, u r such a talented person. im soo happy again, i hope we can make so many more memories in the future u r the best person.

to charlie: HII!!! thank you for being such an amazing part of bi-fi, you r so amazing!! the second cabin wars so iconic, especially the screen limits xDD it was so amazing interacting with you, and i hope to be in a cabin with you again

to kleemiya: thank you for being part of bi-fi this month, it was so cool!! i've seen you around scratch so it was super cool being in bi-fi with you. see you around

to lune: EYYY hi lune!!! i love ur spectroscopes ;D on a side note, thank you soo much for being such a cool part of bi-fi this month. the bi-fi-reworks were so cool. the cabin would NOT be the same without you, i hope to see you around!!

to eva: HI EVA! im so happy we're in the same cabin again, it was so cool being able to critique with you and experience the bi-fi-reworks. chai is also so amazing. you were such an amazing bi-fi-er, and i really hope we get in the same cabin again

to squidy: HIIIII im so glad we're in the same cabin again (even though i didnt realize we were in thriller together last year xD) i loved interacting with you this month, and im glad you got your pfp hehe. good luck on your tarzan essay as well, you are going to do amazing. see you around squidy!!!

to chocolate: hihihi!!! it was so amazing being in bi-fi for you. it was really cool of you to organize the bday presents, and i also loved critiquing your story. ur lucky ur in pst time because you have extra hours for swc xD SEE YOU AROUND!!!

to may: omg may im sooo sooo happy we were in this cabin, especially since it's been soo long since we met! i'm soso glad you got through your exams, and i hope you're making good progress with your novel! i loved reading your stories throughout this month, and im so proud of u that u finished your writing comp entry. and whenever we have the lipogram daily i'll think of you!! see you around <333

to pandora: HI pandora!!! i legit think we've been in like 3 or 4 cabins together but i legit cannot remember for the life of me. im so happy u were sorted into bi-fi this month you carried the first cabin wars, and i'm glad you came back for the end of the session!! here's to more sessions together

to starrii: HEYY starrii!! thank you for being a part of bi-fi. you legit carried cabin wars (especially with that war that you solo-ed). i also loved reading your writing, and i'm looking forward to seeing you progress as a writer see you around!!

to leopard: omg im so happy you came back to swc! it was soo amazing talking to you (so excited for sotr movie), and i was so glad i got to critique your poems, they were really amazing. hope to see you around!!

to celeste: HI CELESTE!!! i hope you enjoyed your first swc session, and that you were able to complete every daily and weekly!! it was actually sosoooo amazing talking to you. i hope your ta-ing was also fun as well hehe ;D but thank you soso much for being such an amazing person. i hope this is just the beginning, and that there'll be so much more to come!! thank you <33

to wild: HIII!!! it's legit so crazy that both of us are still here after like almost 3 years. it was so amazing rushing the dailies with you and i hope to see you around, you're amazing.

to sydney: HI!! i'm glad that both of us were in this session, and it was so amazing talking to you throughout the session. ur amazing.

to kevin: IM SO HAPPY UR IN SWC!!! i loved looking at your thread, and i cant believe it's been soo long since scratch battle. your writing is amazing, and i hope you had an amazing summer. ur the best

to sky: it was so amazing meeting you this month. i loved talking to you throughout this month, and happy early birthday!! hope to see you around <3

to eevee: HI EEVEE!!! it was so amazing talking to you throughout this month. strawberry basil panera drink on top, it is legit so amazing. u r such an amazing person and i love interacting with you. see you!!!

to mabel: HIII!! im legit listening to buzzkill for the first time now as im writing this (im on who). the lyn lapid fanclub is soo amazing heheeeee!!! and also im soo happy u got to lead fantasy this month, it was sooo amazing <33 SEE YA!!!

to maddie: HI MADDIE! it's me, the person who you exchanged goals with at the start of the session!! how did ur goals go? i hope you were able to complete them and have a fun time during swc. thank you for everything.

to dragon: YYAYY im sooo happy u were active this month. i loved reading ur writing and ur writing competition entry submission was soo iconic. i think i already said as much as i could but i hope u participate in the future as well! u the best. also bi-fi will beat gothic, just you wait.

to july (the month): i have a love/hate relationship with summer and this month truly passed by in the blink of an eye. i cant believe it's already the last day, it seemed like yesterday when it was just starting. thank you, july 2025, for this. heres to better months to come.

to me: YAYYY i finally finished, so proud of myself. u r so amazing. i am going to stop now bc im a bit tired but im glad i was able to finish my goals, i was able to submit to writing comp, help with the storyline, and write throughout the month. also good job me for reaching my word goal!! this month was iconic and it was so great. u r amazing <3

11/1 daily: introduce yourself! (118 words)
HELLO im here!! it is officially november and this is going to be my first post for this session; i know i'm a few days late and i was going to do a daily, but it didnt feel right without having an introductory post. I'm clev/clever (they/them) and this session marks my 5th anniversary with swc :0 my favourite month is autumn, my favourite album this year is ego death at a bachelorette party, and my favorite genre to write is real-fi (real-fi retreat ftw!!!). something i'm super excited to do this fall is to write more and go out to the movies during thanksgiving break with my friends. thanks for stopping by, hope you enjoy

11/4 songfic daily, 393 words: based off “motion sickness” by phoebe bridgers

I hate you, but I miss you; isn’t that funny?

You were the worst thing that happened to me, but you were what I needed in my life at that time; isn’t that ironic?

To: A

Saturday, 2:02am
hi

Saturday, 2:02am
sorry it’s been a few months and i think you mightve moved on but i just needed to get some things out and i need this for myself and im gonna block u when im done

Saturday, 2:05am
ive just been laying here in bed for the past few hours and i havent been able to sleep bc i remembered that its been 1 yr since we first met

Saturday, 2:06am
and i just remember thinking that we couldvbe had it forever, u know? i thought that u were the one

i still think so

Saturday, 2:10am
u did horrible things and u never apolgoized and i can NEVER forgive totu for that

Saturday, 2:31am
i miss u when r u coming back im lonely

Saturday, 2:39am
these past few months i thought i would be so mad and crying and whatever they say in the movies but i think they were wrong

Saturday, 2:39am
because ive been feeling numb and i couldnt feel anything bc its all over and a part of me wants to move on and live my life

Saturday, 2:47am
but a part of me wants to go back to what we had

Saturday, 3:00am
u r the sickest person ive ever met but u were also the kindest and idk what to think abt that

Saturday, 3:01am
this past few months have been a whirlwind and ive been trying to let go and move on but its been a year and now im slowly thinking of what we could have had but i dont want to but i cant help myself, is that normal

Saturday, 3:11am
remember that time when u paid for my therapy

Saturday, 3:11am
i never told u

Saturday, 3:11am
but i only went one time bc i couldnt do it again

Saturday, 3:22am
u know that i hate feeling emotions. which is funny bc hate is an emotion

Saturday, 3:23am
imy

Saturday, 3:55am
i hate you

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small note: i rlly liked writing this, bc it's in a text message format and i thought that was pretty cool! also the “hate is an emotion” line goes hard. also loved playing with the scratch formatting!!

I am someone who craves attention; give it to me, and I’ll savour every moment of it. Attention is sickly sweet, and I can’t get enough of it. I’m the first thing you see to start the day, and I’ll be the last thing you see, too.

I’ll do anything to get you to keep looking at me, and I mean anything. I’ll force you to use me, any time you’re awake. I’m everything you want; the perfect partner. The friend you can rant to. The version of yourself you hope to see in the mirror. I’ll be anything you want me to.

I’m something you regret, but can’t get enough of. When you’re feeling down, use me to get lower. When you’re feeling down, use me to get better. As long as you use me for hours on end, I don’t care. I really don’t.

There comes a point where you can live without me, and I cherish that thought. Hours spent on me, people can’t wait at all to see me again. In fact, your lives are all incomplete, unable to reach your true potential, without me. If you lose me, you’ll be devastated – I love it.

In the dark hours of the night, I’ll be who you rely on. The only thing that understands you. You can use me for hours on end, blinking once every minute, resisting the urge, but giving in anyways. Because no matter what you do, no matter each fleeting doubt, every feeble concern, you’ll cave in, anyways. That is certain; you all do it in the end.

See your worst self reflected through me. After all, it is who you truly are. No matter the secrets that you keep buried, the persona you create in your day, I see the true you. There is no use in hiding; I am always there.

I am your best friend, but I’ll be your worst enemy. I’ll be your biggest fan, but I’ll be your biggest enemy.

I am your phone, and you cannot resist me.