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- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
hey guys! welcome to my writing thread for this session <3
i'm lora, and i go by she/her/they pronouns ;D i'm co-leading sci-fi this session alongisde luka and sooeun, and i'm so excited for us to win, bwahaha.
can't wait to see how this session goes! i have a feeling it's going to be incredibly fun…to see us win
i'm lora, and i go by she/her/they pronouns ;D i'm co-leading sci-fi this session alongisde luka and sooeun, and i'm so excited for us to win, bwahaha.
can't wait to see how this session goes! i have a feeling it's going to be incredibly fun…to see us win
Last edited by Coco_animator (July 9, 2025 04:54:32)
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
daily - second february 625 words
this is an excerpt from a story i've been working on that i continued today, so this may seem a little out of context. my five words were soul, heart, rope, illusions, and dreams.
(removed, because of reasons)
this is an excerpt from a story i've been working on that i continued today, so this may seem a little out of context. my five words were soul, heart, rope, illusions, and dreams.
(removed, because of reasons)
Last edited by Coco_animator (March 8, 2025 09:06:25)
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
weekly 1
part one:
the people in my world essentially live in a place called Nyxoria, which is about two million years in the future. however, there isn't that much development as compared to now, because there was a huge apocalypse that wiped out most of the planet, and humans had to restart from their basic necessities.
they don't have a religion: as per, they don't believe in such a thing as a ‘God’, or anything of that matter, as they have the science and technology to prove that they don't exist. however, they never even thought of such a thing existing until they found scripts, dialects, movies and books of the olden times (two million years back in the past, roughly) and found out that humans used to believe in such a thing. most of the people of Nyxoria believe in one, common aspect: humanity.
unfortunately, however, they have quite an unfair system. they have a council, known as the Alliance, who controls most of the decisions. the council is consisted of the nobility. there are nobles all over Nyxoria, from lords, ladies, dukes, duchesses, barons, baronesses, and more.
the nobility have utmost control over Nyxoria. only the nobility are allowed to become a part of the army, to work for the council. and things such as that. essentially, they believe blood to be purer than any substance, and that it defines them. they believe that a noble bloodline is purer than all and that they have better strengths and skills. however, this isn't widely believed, but what the council tries to enforce at time, although most people just discard it. the council eventually gave up trying to implement it, although the nobility is still the only one allowed to become a part of the army and to work for the council.
in Nyxoria, there are people with an unusual sixth sense: power. these people are known as the Vindicta, and are blamed for the ongoing plague. the Vindicta are locked up in cells (used to previously be killed, but the council decided to be more humane) and not allowed to interact with citizens. most nyxorians believe that the Vindicta are the cause for the plague, as that is what the rumour is spread as from two million years back. however, as secrets are starting to unfold, people are more doubtful if what they were told to believe was right at all…
part two:
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/654071588/ -> proof is there in the sprites!
part three:
The castle was huge.
It had a deep red colour that reminded Ria just of the tinge of fresh blood. The towers loomed over her and twisted into a series of elegant turns, forming a circling spire. The balustrades jutted out impressively with columns and pillars that shone in the sunlight. Grand arches of mahogany were in the centre-most, setting an entrance.
In front of it, Ria took a deep breath and adjusted her lenses, readying herself. She switched on her mic and spoke into it.
“Blitz, I'm ready.”
Instantly, her lenses flashed and a holographic light blue projection spread out in front of her. She could see the 3D layout of the castle in front of her, complete with every detail of each nook and cranny.
She stealthily climbed up the gate using the camouflage feature, using the bars as handholds and footholds for her to progress. Once she reached the top, she braced herself and jumped, landing smoothly on the ground without any injury.
“I'm in,” she whispered.
A guard snapped to attention as Ria winced–he must have detected her voice. He pointed his sword out and slowly walked around. “Show yourself,” he growled.
The guard next to him did the same. She pointed her sword and almost came an inch reach of Ria, who quickly scrambled along the hallway to escape them.
Suddenly, a figure landed next to her. Ria darted around to see Theo, smirking as he pulled out his knife.
“Thought you might need backup,” he whispered as he twirled his knife. He was wearing a camouflage suit as well, with a utility belt that held his weapons and a vial of sleeping potion in extreme necessities. Ria’s own belt contained similar items.
“Theo,” Ria whispered with relief. “Can you make us invisible? A guard almost caught me back there.” Theo smiled. “Thought you’d never ask.”
He thrusted his hands, casting an illusion over them and making them disappear. Their outlines faded to a blur, but they were completely invisible to the surrounding guards. Ria felt like she was made out of dissipating smoke with every step that she took. Her body didn’t feel solid, and she could barely see her own self.
“I can’t hold it for long,” Theo said. “I’m already exhausted from today morning’s events. We’re going to have to do whatever we came to do quickly, because I don’t have that much stamina to hold it for long.”
Ria nodded. “Then we’re going to have to run.”
They ran as fast as they could in the hallways, narrowly running around and dodging the patrolling guards. As time trolled on, Theo’s face paled and sweat ran down his forehead.
“I can’t anymore,” he said weakly.
Then their invisibility wore off.
The guards quickly saw them and pointed their swords. A guard saw their lenses and her eyes widened. “Shut down the power!”
Instantly, the lens power died down and it was no more. Ria cursed. They had no backup, no camouflage, no invisibility, and they were surrounded.
They were on their own.
Ria took out her other dagger and held them both in her hands. She crouched in a bracing position, ready to attack. “Stay behind me,” she yelled to Theo, who nodded. He was in no position to argue, with his energy drained and his consciousness fading. “Wait,” he said. “I have enough energy to get the staff. I’ll get it while you fight? Hopefully backup will come soon.”
Ria nodded, and gave him a smile. “Good luck.”
The guards attacked.
Instantly, Ria was on her feet, slashing and hitting with her blades. She dodged and side-stepped, slashed and stabbed, all at once. A figure dropped beside her and she turned to see Avery, one of her best friends, giving her a grin.
“Couldn’t leave you alone, could I?” Avert asked with a smile. “You always get into trouble when I leave for five minutes,” She rolled her eyes as she fought alongside Ria.
Ria got slashed in the forehead, and blood poured out. She groaned as she got punched in the stomach, and she weakly fought against the guards. However, since it was a late night shift on a weekend–there weren’t much of them, and suddenly, they didn’t seem that outnumbered anymore.
Ria turned to see that Theo was back, looking better and not as exhausted as he was before. “I got the staff!” He yelled. “Run!”
Instantly, they all made a run for it. Avery used her light powers to boost their speed, having regained some energy as well. She hadn’t used them earlier while they were fighting because she was exhausted form using her power earlier, but she had reboosted her energy.
Finally, they climbed the gates and Ria smiled, sheathing her daggers and tucking them into her utility belt.
“We made it.”
part four
The sun was setting peacefully across the sky as Ria walked inside the building, following Theo and Blitz.
It looked like an old style restaurant. There was rock music playing in the background, and there were numbered tables and chairs everywhere. There was a rope hanging from the ceiling, and from it was a WELCOME! sign.
“What is this place, Theo? How do you know it?” Ria asked, feeling slightly uneasy as she looked around. People were talking in hushed tones, and she had a feeling it was somewhat related to them.
At the corner of the room, there was a long table with eight chairs. The man in the head chair got up.
He had brown hair, tanned skin, and light brown eyes. He looked to be middle-aged and had a twisted smile upon his face. He looked slightly familiar, and Ria got the feeling that he wasn’t as friendly as some people thought he was.
“Theo…” Ria spoke in low tones. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
“Don’t worry,” he told her. “I’ve got this.”
“Theo!” The man said with a smile. “Welcome back!” He said as he knelt and opened his arms for an embrace.
Theo hesitated only slightly before going up and hugging him. The man hadn’t needed to kneel, because Theo was almost as tall as him anyway.
“Is the package with you?” He asked, and Theo slightly turned his head towards Blitz and Ria before nodding. “Yeah,” he whispered, but loud enough for Ria to hear it.
The man had only now seemed to realise that they had come. He looked up and his gaze lingered on Ria for a while. He then laughed, patting Theo the back.
“Good job, Theo! I see you’ve brought our prisoners and the plague cure. I’m proud of you, my son.”
I see you've brought our prisoners.
I see you've brought our prisoners.
I see you've brought our prisoners.
I'm proud of you, my son.
I'm proud of you, my son.
My son.
Ria’s blood ran cold as she processed his words.
Her legs turned to molten lava. Her heart dropped in her chest. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat.
Theo wouldn’t Theo wouldn’t Theo wouldn’t Theo wouldn’t-
“Dad, that wasn’t part of the deal-” He started, but then backed off when the man–his dad–looked at him.
“Theo?” Blitz asked in horror. “You can’t have–” He broke off, not being able to process.
“Theo! Theo, you can’t be going along with this,” Ria said. Her heart had sank and her tears were springing back, but Theo just looked down and avoided her gaze.
I can’t have gone through all that for nothing, just for Theo- to- to- betray us….
“Take them to the cells,” his dad said as he waved his hand. “Meanwhile, we’ll have a welcome back party for my son! It’s been a while, hasn’t it, Theodore?”
Ria knew how much Theo hated being called his full name, but he just nodded and mumbled. “Yeah, it has.”
“Theo-” Ria started, her voice breaking and tears starting to run down her face, but two guards stopped her and held her from the sides. She yelled with her hoarse voice and thrashed and kicked, but they held on firmly and took her upstairs. They opened her backpack and took everything, including the precious, small vial of the plague cure.
Ria was deposited inside a small, white cell and separated from Blitz, who’s face had also been tearstained the last time she’d seen him.
Ria hated small spaces.
For the first time since the day had started, she had time to think about what had just happened.
She’d failed. She had been taught one thing her entire life: she couldn’t fail. Not at anything she put her mind to.
She would succeed.
But she hadn’t, the one time when it had mattered the most.
I failed.
I failed.
I failed.
I failed.
Terror seized her veins. Her heart pounded against her chest and it became hard to breathe. Ria tried taking deep slow breaths, but-
it’s not working.
It’s not working.
It’s not working.
Panic and fear bubbled on the surface and exploded like a heated volcano. She trembled uncontrollably, and her head hurt a lot. She felt dizzy, and she couldn’t grasp her surroundings that well.
She tried her best to think, to picture her surroundings and to feel. She tried her best to take deep breaths, focus on her five senses, and calm down…
Ria calmed down and tried to put her brain towards finding a way to get out of the place. What could they do? They were trapped, without any way of escaping. All she could feel was pain and hurt. Emotionally and physically. Her legs hurt, her hands hurt, her eyes hurt-
Ria froze. My eyes hurt?
Her hands trembling, she reached up into her eyes to find… The lenses.
With those, she could communicate with Blitz. They could conjure a holographic projection map of the place and make a plan.
They could escape.
Last edited by Coco_animator (March 10, 2025 15:06:35)
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
ignore
Last edited by Coco_animator (March 10, 2025 14:44:24)
- Minecraftdabestgamer
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Scratcher
6 posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
Does anyone have any advise for a good moderate difficulty language?
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
daily - eleventh february 607 words
Aurora's alarm woke her up with a start.
She cursed as she looked at the time. She was late. The party had already started.
She quickly got ready as she scrambled to make ends meet. Finally, she finished and smiled, putting on her camouflage jet-black suit. It had a gun and a holster, a utility belt, a dagger, a sleeping potion and a rag.
It was her fifteenth birthday.
The twelve specialised fae had been invited to bestow blessings upon her. Aurora cocked her head and smirked as put on a dress on top of it, disguising the suit.
The only thing was that they didn't know who she really was.
An assassin.
She went downstairs to find her father, the King already on his throne. Aurora had never known her mother, as she'd died when she was young of unknown causes.
The twelve fae folk were already seated at the table, and gave smiles and greeting towards Aurora. She pretended to be flattered as she curtsied to them and gave a wide, naive smile.
“We wish you a very warm golden birthday,” the fairy at the head said with a smile. “We have been watching you, and want to bestow blessings upon you.”
We have been watching you.
Aurora knew that was a lie, or else they would've known about her true mission. She forced a smile onto her face and looked baffled and modest. “I'm honoured, really. Thank you so much!”
Aurora crossed her fingers. Hopefully they would bless her with something that would make her more skilled, and could help her kill them… The fae folk were incredibly vain and saved their magical powers mostly for themselves. Aurora forced herself to stop the bitterness escaping onto her face.
The first fairy wished her to have good health. Aurora sighed. She knew it wouldn't be that helpful, since it was the fae folk, but good health? That was incredibly proposterous. Even a five year old could have come up with something better.
One by one, the twelve fairies wished her. Good heart, beauty, song?
What types of gifts are these? Aurora thought incredulously in her mind as she smiled and looked honored. Seriously. Gift of song? Really?
She was on the fifth fairy, when suddenly the attack began.
The stained-glass window shattered and shards rained down on them heavily. The King yelled and the fae looked startled as vines entangled and twisted themselves up to form an intricate vine and leaves gate.
A fae was floating there, her hands and her body glowing. Her irises were yellow, and she was slightly translucent and hummed with power. Her hair was ablaze with fire and her expression was filled with wrath.
“Oh, look!” She remarked as she flew in and landed, with a twisted smile. “It's a party. And guess what? The most powerful fairy, the thirteenth one… Wasn't invited.”
One of the fae folk stood up. “Lena. This was for your own good. You're getting too caught up in your own ways.”
The fairy, Lena, laughed and walked around. “Come on, we all know the truth. You're too scared of me, because I'm more powerful than your head fairy. Isn't that true? Well, Aurora,” she faced the assassin princess. “I have something to tell you.”
She swept her hand and walked towards her. Aurora was baffled, but she stood strong as the fairy walked towards her.
“Your entire life has been a lie,” the fairy said with a crooked smile as she placed a hand on her. “The story that your mother died? It's false.”
“You are a half-fairy. Your mother is alive, and she's me.”
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
word war against alana!
That was the day I died.
My heart bleeds as I write this as sorrow overwhelms my body. The day that I died. I’d prefer not to think about it, to even say it out loud, and least of all put my ink to this paper and write about it.
But I am threatened over and over again by the lord of the ghosts to write it down, to express my feelings and tell others wha exactly happened that day. It torments me to write of this. It makes my soul bleed and it makes me hurt to the brim. My breathing halts and my heart is pounding, and my head aches and aches and aches. And all I can feel is pain
But what choice did I ever have?
It was a cold, september night. It was supposed to be autumn, it was supposed to eb hotter. That was what they’d all said, but I think they all lied to me, because it was the cold autumn brilll that sent shivers down my spine at first.
And then I realized someone was followi
That was the day I died.
My heart bleeds as I write this as sorrow overwhelms my body. The day that I died. I’d prefer not to think about it, to even say it out loud, and least of all put my ink to this paper and write about it.
But I am threatened over and over again by the lord of the ghosts to write it down, to express my feelings and tell others wha exactly happened that day. It torments me to write of this. It makes my soul bleed and it makes me hurt to the brim. My breathing halts and my heart is pounding, and my head aches and aches and aches. And all I can feel is pain
But what choice did I ever have?
It was a cold, september night. It was supposed to be autumn, it was supposed to eb hotter. That was what they’d all said, but I think they all lied to me, because it was the cold autumn brilll that sent shivers down my spine at first.
And then I realized someone was followi
Last edited by Coco_animator (March 14, 2025 10:23:16)
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
hi guys! i'm lora and i'm campering in apocalyptic this session ;D
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
daily - ninth july
—— words
i, i took the 405.
i drove a hundred miles at night, just to forget you.
hello stranger, it's been forever. it's a shame that that i memorised your outline.
it was harsh because i lost what i wanted.
would you fall in love with me again? wish that you could build a time machine, so we could see. because I know that we would work. i'd go back, turn around and make it alright
it's my fault. i cut the rope and you fell from the tower. i had a backbone made of glass, and then it broke.
you've turned all my skies to pouring rain. because i, lost you- the one i was dancing with.
oh, I stare at the phone, you still haven't called, and flashback to when we said, “forever and always”…
you didn't mean it.
i keep thinking maybe you could let me back in. pull myself together, you could watch it happen. please, please.
call me. please. i'm battling the lack of us, i've looked for medication - tried every obvious replacement.
OH. you picked up.
hey, what if i took your call as more than just a call, as writing on the walls? you built this cage - lost colour in my face, you're fair and i'm insane.
i'm sorry.
long live, all the magic we made… i had the time of my life…
with you.
—— words
i, i took the 405.
i drove a hundred miles at night, just to forget you.
hello stranger, it's been forever. it's a shame that that i memorised your outline.
it was harsh because i lost what i wanted.
would you fall in love with me again? wish that you could build a time machine, so we could see. because I know that we would work. i'd go back, turn around and make it alright
it's my fault. i cut the rope and you fell from the tower. i had a backbone made of glass, and then it broke.
you've turned all my skies to pouring rain. because i, lost you- the one i was dancing with.
oh, I stare at the phone, you still haven't called, and flashback to when we said, “forever and always”…
you didn't mean it.
i keep thinking maybe you could let me back in. pull myself together, you could watch it happen. please, please.
call me. please. i'm battling the lack of us, i've looked for medication - tried every obvious replacement.
OH. you picked up.
hey, what if i took your call as more than just a call, as writing on the walls? you built this cage - lost colour in my face, you're fair and i'm insane.
i'm sorry.
long live, all the magic we made… i had the time of my life…
with you.
Last edited by Coco_animator (July 9, 2025 05:27:57)
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
constellation daily - 14 July
513 words
———— ☆ ————
Caput was drawing again.
It was the only break from work on the remote planet. Every day, he and his team tried to urbanise their planet and build a city there, spending money and resources in hope of making their planet inhabitable.
It took time. Hardwork. Patience. Things that Caput found very energy minimizing.
He drew of Earth, trying to capture the essence of his time there. Its beautiful trees, with hazel trunks and emerald leaves. Its clear blue skies and breathtaking sunsets, its wide oceans and lakes, its weather, its buildings, its people…
Caput missed Earth. Mostly, though, he missed who he used to be with on Earth.
Cauda, his twin sister.
Back there, they used to fight every day, but at least they talked. They were always together through everything–home, school, classes, meals. They had different friends and different interests, but at the end of the day, they were always together.
Until it was time. Time for both of them to move on, and get to work. They both moved to different planets in hope of colonizing them and setting up new places for humanity to live. It was the family’s legacy.
The Serpens family were famous for their intergalactic work, and it was only expected of them to move and find new planets.
Caput sighed, and then went back to work.
———— ☆ ————
Cauda was sculpting again.
It’d become her new hobby after days of her hard work. It was the only break she got. Taking smooth obsidian–a common material on her planet, and much easier to shape there than Earth–she used her sharpest tools to try and sculpt things.
Earth’s surface. Her old school. Her previous home. Her brother, Caput.
It was the last one she was working on. It was especially hard to sculpt humans, and even more–get them right. On her left, she had an old faded photo she tried to get onto his figure. She left his face for the last as she tried to capture him to her best.
“Boss,” an agent called. “Help needed. Should we import glass from Earth or just use crystals for these panes?”
Cauda put down her tools. “Coming,” she said. She stepped out of her small workplace, welcoming the construction work. Everywhere, workers sat on machines, trying to find new material to be used. An architect sat to the right, biting her pencil and trying to envision a building. Cauda looked at the blueprints for the newest building.
She sighed, and then went to work.
———— ☆ ————
The angels of the sky looked at the two hardworking twins. Moving their hands, they created two constellations:
One, the head – Caput Serpens in the right, and next, the tail – Cauda Serpens, in the left.
The constellation represented rebirth, healing. Of a new start, birth, aside from Earth. A new chance at humanity.
To this day, it’s the only constellation to be in two parts. A unique constellation, for the hardworking twins. The twins who, even apart, longed and worked together, for the good of humanity.
Their spirit shines as bright as their stars.
this is about the serpens consolation – the only constellation to be split into two parts! I found it really intriguing, so here's a a short story about it ;D this was pretty fun to write but also really simple
513 words
———— ☆ ————
Caput was drawing again.
It was the only break from work on the remote planet. Every day, he and his team tried to urbanise their planet and build a city there, spending money and resources in hope of making their planet inhabitable.
It took time. Hardwork. Patience. Things that Caput found very energy minimizing.
He drew of Earth, trying to capture the essence of his time there. Its beautiful trees, with hazel trunks and emerald leaves. Its clear blue skies and breathtaking sunsets, its wide oceans and lakes, its weather, its buildings, its people…
Caput missed Earth. Mostly, though, he missed who he used to be with on Earth.
Cauda, his twin sister.
Back there, they used to fight every day, but at least they talked. They were always together through everything–home, school, classes, meals. They had different friends and different interests, but at the end of the day, they were always together.
Until it was time. Time for both of them to move on, and get to work. They both moved to different planets in hope of colonizing them and setting up new places for humanity to live. It was the family’s legacy.
The Serpens family were famous for their intergalactic work, and it was only expected of them to move and find new planets.
Caput sighed, and then went back to work.
———— ☆ ————
Cauda was sculpting again.
It’d become her new hobby after days of her hard work. It was the only break she got. Taking smooth obsidian–a common material on her planet, and much easier to shape there than Earth–she used her sharpest tools to try and sculpt things.
Earth’s surface. Her old school. Her previous home. Her brother, Caput.
It was the last one she was working on. It was especially hard to sculpt humans, and even more–get them right. On her left, she had an old faded photo she tried to get onto his figure. She left his face for the last as she tried to capture him to her best.
“Boss,” an agent called. “Help needed. Should we import glass from Earth or just use crystals for these panes?”
Cauda put down her tools. “Coming,” she said. She stepped out of her small workplace, welcoming the construction work. Everywhere, workers sat on machines, trying to find new material to be used. An architect sat to the right, biting her pencil and trying to envision a building. Cauda looked at the blueprints for the newest building.
She sighed, and then went to work.
———— ☆ ————
The angels of the sky looked at the two hardworking twins. Moving their hands, they created two constellations:
One, the head – Caput Serpens in the right, and next, the tail – Cauda Serpens, in the left.
The constellation represented rebirth, healing. Of a new start, birth, aside from Earth. A new chance at humanity.
To this day, it’s the only constellation to be in two parts. A unique constellation, for the hardworking twins. The twins who, even apart, longed and worked together, for the good of humanity.
Their spirit shines as bright as their stars.
Last edited by Coco_animator (July 14, 2025 14:48:08)
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
VERY rough writing comp entry - DRAFT
the year is 3017.
ash covers the sky in a dusty haze
that hides any remains of a star.
it’s been years since a single one was spotted.
the girl is kneeling on the floor,
a flower being strangled in her hands,
her stomach bent over and
her head touching the ground.
she looks up, and you can see her.
she is struck with pain and agony.
tears run down her grime-covered face
and form glistening tracks.
the fire in her eyes is gone.
she looks lifeless, somehow even more dead
than the piles of bodies
lying beside her.
her eyes match the colour of the crimson
that covers the deceased bodies
from their protruding wounds.
her body shakes with every breath she takes.
he’s gone now, she desperately thinks.
she crumbles to the ground in defeat.
her chest heaves with each sob,
breath catching in ragged gasps.
she drags herself closer to him, placing a hand on his cold form.
he's strewn on the ground,
and his pulse is as apparent as her mother’s love.
in wretched eternal rest.
his shirt is stained with scarlet that fades to black.
a sharp, long, wicked blade pierces his chest.
stabbing
his
pretty
heart.
(the only heart which had ever really cared for her-)
the girl crumbles into ashes with stabs of guilt.
her lungs are on a desperate fire, straining for bliss.
her breath fails her, and she gasps for air–
as her self contempt in her enlarges and claws out with flair.
stop, she tries to force herself.
it had been the bombs.
they had dropped out of the sky like uninvited visitors,
exploding with the light and heat
of a thousand infernos.
the soldiers had finished the remaining survivors.
they had long swords that glinted in the sunlight.
their faces were alight in energy and hate alike.
the villagers had no chance.
they knew that their long winter
of eating stale bread and dried grapes
had ended.
in the end, she was the only one who was left.
the flower in the girl’s hand falls to the ground.
the petals are torn to pieces, and her hope is drowned.
she lets out a cry that pierces the night like a long sword.
her little diary is strewn on the ground next to her.
its pages are fluttered open,
a little picture and untidy scrawling handwriting is apparent
she shoves the book aside
as tears
drip
drip
drip
down her angelic face..
this girl has a raging heart and a mind for revenge.
her face has gone from one of heartbreaking melancholy
to one of raging fury
she furiously wipes away her tears
and stands with a stubborn look
she vows that she will avenge her family’s
and her innocent town’s
deaths.
as she walks through their bodies,
she remembers them.
(she’s the only person left to remember them)
the baker who used to give her free pastries,
the gardener who’d always given her geraniums,
the butcher who’d saved a sweet smile for her,
the worker who’d stop by for a wave every time.
her friends, who’d sat and listened to all of her stories,
her classmates, who’d make silly jokes and make her laugh,
her town, her life, everything she’d lived for…
she will remember them.
always.
with a last look at them, she goes in her father’s car
and drives away
by the time she arrives, the police already know the news.
they try to bring her to a hospital, but she refuses.
she cannot.
she cannot rest while her town lies dead, unavenged.
she cannot.
as she pulls out her pen, she furiously writes.
she writes of all the people in the town she can recount.
all those who died without a voice.
within a few moments.
who had the right to decide their deaths? she thinks as the
tears drip down her face.
it’s not fair.
it’s not fair.
it’s.
not.
FAIR.
why, of all towns
her town,
her people
her baker
her gardener
her teacher
her coach
her classmates
her butcher
her doctor
her everything, just taken from her like a withered sunflower,
her life, just stolen like a treasure chest,
her guards
her friends
her mother
her father
her aunt
her cousin
her her-
brother,
her life?
she remembers that her mother used to talk the dark shadows of misery always unexplored
about the bright happiness that follows not venturing into how a broken heart feels
and how they’d all spend time together the shattering pain, keeping her at a chokehold
laughing hard as the joke kept building up every memory making the pain throb more
the comfort of knowing they’d be together but forever never lasts long, does it?
showing her the stars and how they shined they shatter, leaving pain the only feeling, happy
adrenaline used to wash over and paradise doesn’t exist anymore without them, without life, (which)
was always in the clear, right near the serene sea which is turbulent and flooding and miserable
it used to be made of ecstasy and memories,
now they’re made of her tears.
she spends hours
pouring over the book,
writing and writing until she’s sure every person
she ever knew is captured
they cannot be forgotten.
they cannot be just another lost voice amongst thousands.
as she lays down for the night and bitterly wipes away her tears,
she promises herself.
if i am the last of us,
then i will be the loudest.
i write until the protests outnumber the bombs.
until the ink weighs more than the silence.
i swear it.
my family was my everything.
and no one gets away with taking that much.
if there is one thing i’m good at,
it’s
r
e
v
e
n
g
e.
note: formatting is VERY messed up and copy pasted from docs. how to read it: line by line. when you come to the contrapuntal poem (the thing with two columns) there's a different way to read that. first way, you read the first column by itself. second way, you read the second column by itself. third way, you read it line by line all together, so it's like three poems in one.
it's a very rough draft again, haha. critique very much appreciated!!
the year is 3017.
ash covers the sky in a dusty haze
that hides any remains of a star.
it’s been years since a single one was spotted.
the girl is kneeling on the floor,
a flower being strangled in her hands,
her stomach bent over and
her head touching the ground.
she looks up, and you can see her.
she is struck with pain and agony.
tears run down her grime-covered face
and form glistening tracks.
the fire in her eyes is gone.
she looks lifeless, somehow even more dead
than the piles of bodies
lying beside her.
her eyes match the colour of the crimson
that covers the deceased bodies
from their protruding wounds.
her body shakes with every breath she takes.
he’s gone now, she desperately thinks.
she crumbles to the ground in defeat.
her chest heaves with each sob,
breath catching in ragged gasps.
she drags herself closer to him, placing a hand on his cold form.
he's strewn on the ground,
and his pulse is as apparent as her mother’s love.
in wretched eternal rest.
his shirt is stained with scarlet that fades to black.
a sharp, long, wicked blade pierces his chest.
stabbing
his
pretty
heart.
(the only heart which had ever really cared for her-)
the girl crumbles into ashes with stabs of guilt.
her lungs are on a desperate fire, straining for bliss.
her breath fails her, and she gasps for air–
as her self contempt in her enlarges and claws out with flair.
stop, she tries to force herself.
it had been the bombs.
they had dropped out of the sky like uninvited visitors,
exploding with the light and heat
of a thousand infernos.
the soldiers had finished the remaining survivors.
they had long swords that glinted in the sunlight.
their faces were alight in energy and hate alike.
the villagers had no chance.
they knew that their long winter
of eating stale bread and dried grapes
had ended.
in the end, she was the only one who was left.
the flower in the girl’s hand falls to the ground.
the petals are torn to pieces, and her hope is drowned.
she lets out a cry that pierces the night like a long sword.
her little diary is strewn on the ground next to her.
its pages are fluttered open,
a little picture and untidy scrawling handwriting is apparent
she shoves the book aside
as tears
drip
drip
drip
down her angelic face..
this girl has a raging heart and a mind for revenge.
her face has gone from one of heartbreaking melancholy
to one of raging fury
she furiously wipes away her tears
and stands with a stubborn look
she vows that she will avenge her family’s
and her innocent town’s
deaths.
as she walks through their bodies,
she remembers them.
(she’s the only person left to remember them)
the baker who used to give her free pastries,
the gardener who’d always given her geraniums,
the butcher who’d saved a sweet smile for her,
the worker who’d stop by for a wave every time.
her friends, who’d sat and listened to all of her stories,
her classmates, who’d make silly jokes and make her laugh,
her town, her life, everything she’d lived for…
she will remember them.
always.
with a last look at them, she goes in her father’s car
and drives away
by the time she arrives, the police already know the news.
they try to bring her to a hospital, but she refuses.
she cannot.
she cannot rest while her town lies dead, unavenged.
she cannot.
as she pulls out her pen, she furiously writes.
she writes of all the people in the town she can recount.
all those who died without a voice.
within a few moments.
who had the right to decide their deaths? she thinks as the
tears drip down her face.
it’s not fair.
it’s not fair.
it’s.
not.
FAIR.
why, of all towns
her town,
her people
her baker
her gardener
her teacher
her coach
her classmates
her butcher
her doctor
her everything, just taken from her like a withered sunflower,
her life, just stolen like a treasure chest,
her guards
her friends
her mother
her father
her aunt
her cousin
her her-
brother,
her life?
she remembers that her mother used to talk the dark shadows of misery always unexplored
about the bright happiness that follows not venturing into how a broken heart feels
and how they’d all spend time together the shattering pain, keeping her at a chokehold
laughing hard as the joke kept building up every memory making the pain throb more
the comfort of knowing they’d be together but forever never lasts long, does it?
showing her the stars and how they shined they shatter, leaving pain the only feeling, happy
adrenaline used to wash over and paradise doesn’t exist anymore without them, without life, (which)
was always in the clear, right near the serene sea which is turbulent and flooding and miserable
it used to be made of ecstasy and memories,
now they’re made of her tears.
she spends hours
pouring over the book,
writing and writing until she’s sure every person
she ever knew is captured
they cannot be forgotten.
they cannot be just another lost voice amongst thousands.
as she lays down for the night and bitterly wipes away her tears,
she promises herself.
if i am the last of us,
then i will be the loudest.
i write until the protests outnumber the bombs.
until the ink weighs more than the silence.
i swear it.
my family was my everything.
and no one gets away with taking that much.
if there is one thing i’m good at,
it’s
r
e
v
e
n
g
e.
Last edited by Coco_animator (July 16, 2025 09:06:36)
- Coco_animator
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
critique!
hi celeste!
let's get started with the critique <3
off to a promising start! i think it'd be 'our story started, however, because otherwise there's a change from past tense ('once upon a time') to present tense ('starts').
this feels a bit wordy! when you say bizarre, it's already obvious that it's unique–so no need to mention that.
no need for the maybe, here!
this sentence is pretty big. breaking it down into two sentences and saying “…but dark and forbidding at night. It wasn't too far from…”
If it's big enough for a person to sit on, then it's obviously big enough for a person to stand on! so you can cut down that sentence <3
i feel like the brackets break the flow of the fairy tale like story, so maybe remove them!
this makes the tone inconsistent and switches from a more old, fairy tale aura to a very modern one. maybe something like ‘she crinkled her nose. “i just met you, that’s not how it works…”' could help set the tone inconsistent
generally, some paragraphs (e.g., the ones about the palace or the village) are a bit dense and could be broken up a bit to mantain the flow and not break it suddenly, as well as the use of brackets could be removed.
the tone and ideas occasionally go off, which makes some transitions feel abrupt (e.g., going from the prince being annoying to suddenly agreeing to go with him, or from story-telling to palace life). such a strong reaction like “ew” transitioning to agreeing with him and living in a stranger's palace is very abdrupt. having a reason for this could make it better
also, throughout, you shift between a classic fairy tale voice and a modern, sarcastic tone: ironic commentary on tropes (e.g., “obviously,” “for unknown reasons,” “chocolate chip energy cookies”). maybe keep this to a brim and make the flow more consistent, because it seems very sudden and random. from the poetic energy about the stars and their rhythym to “and stuff” “(doors were very good for that)” seems a bit sudden. especially this sentence:
final things for the entirety of the piece:
- why does she agree to go with the prince? a sense of curiosity, restlessness, or a desire to “see more stars” would help ground the choice emotionally
- the transformation into a star is beautiful, and i personally think you could build more emotion into her final words—make her sadness and longing a little more vivid just before the transformation, and make it emotionally appealing to the readers. for example, something like “She closed her eyes, whispering her last wish into the sky. ‘Please… let me go home.’ And the stars answered.”
conclusion
i really loved your piece, celeste! you did an incredible job with with the writing and the plot – you had only a few gaps here and there <3 i hope this helped! i haven't done line by line critique, but there are lines with abrupt transitions like the ones i've mentioned above, so maybe try and work on that. thank you!
hi celeste!
let's get started with the critique <3
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, our story starts like all fairy tales do. With a main character.
off to a promising start! i think it'd be 'our story started, however, because otherwise there's a change from past tense ('once upon a time') to present tense ('starts').
The girl heard their distant songs, each a bizarre, whimsical, and unique melody
this feels a bit wordy! when you say bizarre, it's already obvious that it's unique–so no need to mention that.
Some sounded like bells, others like a piano, still more like the deep and soulful sounds of a cello or viola, maybe
no need for the maybe, here!
The girl lived in a village that was at the border of a forest- the type of forest that is golden and green and all the colors of nature during the day, but dark and forbidding at night- and not far from their small village resided a small rocky ledge.
this sentence is pretty big. breaking it down into two sentences and saying “…but dark and forbidding at night. It wasn't too far from…”
The ledge wasn’t that big, only wide enough for one person to stand- or sit- on and watch the stars.
If it's big enough for a person to sit on, then it's obviously big enough for a person to stand on! so you can cut down that sentence <3
he girl told them stories. Stories of a skilled archer named Orion, of the vain queen Cassiopeia, of Ursa Major and Ursa Minor and zodiac signs (all twelve of them). Slowly, one by one, the stars found another (or three) who was similar to them.
i feel like the brackets break the flow of the fairy tale like story, so maybe remove them!
And the girl thought, “Ew, no. I, like, just met you.” But the prince was very insistent, and eventually, the girl agreed (for unknown reasons).
this makes the tone inconsistent and switches from a more old, fairy tale aura to a very modern one. maybe something like ‘she crinkled her nose. “i just met you, that’s not how it works…”' could help set the tone inconsistent
generally, some paragraphs (e.g., the ones about the palace or the village) are a bit dense and could be broken up a bit to mantain the flow and not break it suddenly, as well as the use of brackets could be removed.
the tone and ideas occasionally go off, which makes some transitions feel abrupt (e.g., going from the prince being annoying to suddenly agreeing to go with him, or from story-telling to palace life). such a strong reaction like “ew” transitioning to agreeing with him and living in a stranger's palace is very abdrupt. having a reason for this could make it better
also, throughout, you shift between a classic fairy tale voice and a modern, sarcastic tone: ironic commentary on tropes (e.g., “obviously,” “for unknown reasons,” “chocolate chip energy cookies”). maybe keep this to a brim and make the flow more consistent, because it seems very sudden and random. from the poetic energy about the stars and their rhythym to “and stuff” “(doors were very good for that)” seems a bit sudden. especially this sentence:
And as months and years passed, the girl grew sadder, her heart becoming heavier with each passing day. And the prince was there too (let’s not forget him).in this, you're trying to set a tragic mood where her heart grew heavier and she grew gloomier–and then the sudden modern (let's not forget him) throws this aura off and completely breaks the flow, so maybe you could work on that!
final things for the entirety of the piece:
- why does she agree to go with the prince? a sense of curiosity, restlessness, or a desire to “see more stars” would help ground the choice emotionally
- the transformation into a star is beautiful, and i personally think you could build more emotion into her final words—make her sadness and longing a little more vivid just before the transformation, and make it emotionally appealing to the readers. for example, something like “She closed her eyes, whispering her last wish into the sky. ‘Please… let me go home.’ And the stars answered.”
conclusion
i really loved your piece, celeste! you did an incredible job with with the writing and the plot – you had only a few gaps here and there <3 i hope this helped! i haven't done line by line critique, but there are lines with abrupt transitions like the ones i've mentioned above, so maybe try and work on that. thank you!
- Coco_animator
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
leapord's critique
hi leapord! once again, sorry this is so late <3 here's a poem by poem breakthrough
holes in heaven
this is such a beautiful poem and so well conveyed! i really love the structure and the enjabment
the brackets break the flow of the poem and make the voice pretty inconsistent–i'd suggest removing that and changing it to something else, like ‘tree-trunk strong, her husband said – an intented compliment, but she eyed it suspiciously’ (this is just off the top of my head and really random, but you get the idea!)
the first part doesn't make sense?? you go from talking about the stars to abruptly talking about the glint in her eyes, which has a connection, but just the word ‘twinkling’ to connect them both doesn't make much sense, because there's no ‘like’ or ‘as’ or anything like that as a connecting piece :0 niether does the ‘how many? trips to tosco’ because the question mark is in the wrong place and disconnects the two phrases for no reason
just a question, how are capsized kayaks scattered with cookie crumbs and squaking of seagulls warm?? i get that this is supposed to be poetic and compare her to things in the narrator's life, but it doesn't make much sense according to me <3
the ending is so beautiful!! i really love the language and poetic devices you've used over here, good job <3
after the curtain falls
also, i feel like the opening stanza could hit harder and be a tad more dramatic for the audience :0 the “I don’t remember learning to breathe through dance” idea is great, but the rest of the stanza feels soft in contrast to the rest of the poem. try heightening the imagery a bit maybe, and elaborating on the happiness and rhythm found in dance :0
encore
…* bro this poem hits hard <3
this is emotionally raw but could be made more expressive. this pain of regretting your decisions and thinking what could have been changed can be emphasized on, like ‘should have made my smile wider, would’ve made my last bow deeper than all the rest….' like the narrator really felt pain there and spent time thinking on what they should/would have done if they're just known
a star remembers
such a perfect ending to this collection of poems <3 a few lines start with capital letters but a few don't, so try and make that consistent! also consider replacing the hyphens someplaces in your poems with some other punctuation
conclusion
this is an incredible collection of poems leopard! very well written <3 just one thing, the first poem seems a bit disconnected and longer than the others – maybe change a few parts to reflect on what seems to be the narrator's world, dance – maybe the metaphors and similies are compared with dance moves, feelings, etc. etc.
good job and good luck!
hi leapord! once again, sorry this is so late <3 here's a poem by poem breakthrough
holes in heaven
this is such a beautiful poem and so well conveyed! i really love the structure and the enjabment
And she would be happy,
her well-worn legs -
tree-trunk strong, her husband said -
(apparently a compliment.)
scampering
up so many peaks
in her beloved mountains.
the brackets break the flow of the poem and make the voice pretty inconsistent–i'd suggest removing that and changing it to something else, like ‘tree-trunk strong, her husband said – an intented compliment, but she eyed it suspiciously’ (this is just off the top of my head and really random, but you get the idea!)
Now, I look up at them:
the twinkling -
just the glint in her eye
when we laughed about
cake in the freezer
or how many? trips to Tesco
or how to say tuna (I was always right).
the first part doesn't make sense?? you go from talking about the stars to abruptly talking about the glint in her eyes, which has a connection, but just the word ‘twinkling’ to connect them both doesn't make much sense, because there's no ‘like’ or ‘as’ or anything like that as a connecting piece :0 niether does the ‘how many? trips to tosco’ because the question mark is in the wrong place and disconnects the two phrases for no reason
But she was so much brighter than the spotlight.
Her laugh rang so much truer than a violin.
Her presence just as warm
as medals glinting on summer days
and capsized kayaks scattered with cookie crumbs,
and sunbathing on the school field,
the happy screaming of children
and squawking of seagulls
and friends around me -
things she never saw me do.
just a question, how are capsized kayaks scattered with cookie crumbs and squaking of seagulls warm?? i get that this is supposed to be poetic and compare her to things in the narrator's life, but it doesn't make much sense according to me <3
Maybe she is shining through,
somewhere,
her spirit sitting
on top of a mountain,
wrapped in clouds like her favourite jumper,
watching me dance,
no doubt being nosy to the spirit sitting next to her.
Or maybe,
she is a soft summer breeze in the mountains,
an inside joke,
A standing ovation.
And maybe one day,
after I have lived so much more
and added so many more memories
and views and people
to my constellation,
we can go on a walk again,
her light guiding me
back down the lane.
the ending is so beautiful!! i really love the language and poetic devices you've used over here, good job <3
after the curtain falls
“Like the soft ache after a long class”this is great, but a little generic. what kind of ache? in your arches? your back?
also, i feel like the opening stanza could hit harder and be a tad more dramatic for the audience :0 the “I don’t remember learning to breathe through dance” idea is great, but the rest of the stanza feels soft in contrast to the rest of the poem. try heightening the imagery a bit maybe, and elaborating on the happiness and rhythm found in dance :0
encore
…* bro this poem hits hard <3
“I would’ve -
should’ve -
danced wilder if
I’d known they were the last times…”
this is emotionally raw but could be made more expressive. this pain of regretting your decisions and thinking what could have been changed can be emphasized on, like ‘should have made my smile wider, would’ve made my last bow deeper than all the rest….' like the narrator really felt pain there and spent time thinking on what they should/would have done if they're just known
a star remembers
such a perfect ending to this collection of poems <3 a few lines start with capital letters but a few don't, so try and make that consistent! also consider replacing the hyphens someplaces in your poems with some other punctuation
conclusion
this is an incredible collection of poems leopard! very well written <3 just one thing, the first poem seems a bit disconnected and longer than the others – maybe change a few parts to reflect on what seems to be the narrator's world, dance – maybe the metaphors and similies are compared with dance moves, feelings, etc. etc.
good job and good luck!
- Coco_animator
-
Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
Part one
I’m not too sure if this has been done before, but my idea of this weekly is to create your own fantasy kingdom!
I want people to be able to visualise and create an imaginative fantasy kingdom all from a weekly.
This could be really helpful for people in their own novels and stories, as at times creating fantasy kingdoms can be hard and open up loopholes. You have to develop a world, the type of people that inhabit that world, their laws, their customs..
But this weekly would be to set out the basis for that worldbuilding and really help do that! After all, if we’re too scared to start, when will we?
This weekly will aim to make it easier to create fantasy kingdoms without any loopholes, and one that’s imaginative.
You’d be able to think: what kind of world do I have? Dystopian, utopian, dream-like, horror, etc.? What type of people inhabit my kingdom? What creature? Are they human? Are they elven? What are the laws that are common there? What kind of customs do they revolve around? Who rules the kingdom? Why? Who makes sure these laws are being enforced? Are the people of your place happy? Why? Why not?
Part two:
Part one: Welcome to part one of this weekly! In this, you’ll be writing 200 words to set a basis of your fantasy kingdom. Look at this workshop first. Make sure to write about what people they have and what customs it has.! Make sure to go wild with your imagination, and have fun!
Part two: Now that that’s done, try and set up a legal system for your kingdom in 200 words! Is there anything unusual? What kind of social hierarchy does your fantasy kingdom have? Are there any problems?
Part three: For your next part, you’ll be explaining and talking about what makes it a fantasy kingdom. Is there any magic? What kind of magic? Are there different types? Who all has this kind of magic? If not, see what else makes it fantasy like, and make sure to go wild!
Part four: For the final part of this weekly, you’ll be writing a story of 200 words about a character in this world. It could be about anything, but make sure to include all the necessary details and avoid any loopholes in your fantasy kingdom. Have fun!
Part three:
How To Make Your Own Fantasy Kingdom: 101
Welcome, writers! Today, we’ll be going over how to write your own fantasy kingdom, and avoid any loopholes.
The setting
First, you need to establish a setting. Where is this happening? What’s the kind of climate that is centered around that region? Is it cold all the time, or does it have a moderate climate? Make sure to delve on this and make it as descriptive as you can. For example, your setting can be a cold climate where frozen volcanoes are common. When they erupt, instead of lava – freezing snow/rain/ice comes out! This could help set a unique fantasy setting to your story.
The people
Next, you need to decide the kind of people that inhabit that place. Are they human, or some other creature entirely? Do they have any features that distinguish them? For example, you could have a new race of elves that are descended from dragons, and can shapeshift into them at will. However, learning this type of magic is hard and usually takes a lot of time, from up to six months to a year.
The customs
Of course, every set of people have their own customs and traditions that they follow. Is there a festival that is celebrated usually at a certain time of the year? For example, a festival where twigs are reused to create structures and traded for the joy of giving and appreciation of all things in life could be celebrated every September.
Magic
A very important part of your fantasy kingdom is to establish: what makes it fantasy? What gives it that distinct feature? Is there a type of magic that’s prominent there? Who has these powers? Is there a specific bloodline, or is it random and scattered? For example, you could have just one bloodline that are descended from dragons, and can shapeshift into them at will. This magic is extremely tough, though, and usually takes a lot of time, from up to six months to a year.
Conclusion
To conclude, I hope you learnt about how to write a fantasy kingdom successfully! Please keep in mind to avoid any loopholes and think about your kingdom to every single detail, noting if things match or not. Good luck!
Part four:
(For the lack of effort, I simply chose to do Percy Jackson fanfiction)
Part one:
The world is set in modern U.S.A, with the government being in a normal contemporary setting. The people in this speak american english, as normal! There are mythological creatures in every corner–more specifically, greek mythological creatures. Examples of these include the Minotaur, Medusa, etc. All the gods and goddesses of the Greek world are also present here, like Zeus, Artemis, etc. They are said to be living on the 600th floor of the Empire State Building. A camp for the children of these gods is set up, to make sure they survive in this dangerous world of monsters. It’s called Camp Half-Blood, and they each have different powers and skill sets based off their parents abilities, who are gods. The camp director is Chiron, and Dionysus helps manage. However, Dionysus is stingy as he’s only doing his job as a punishment for chasing an off-limit nymph, leading him to working at Camp Half Blood. In this story, Percy Jackson is the main protagonist, with his friends Annabeth Chase and Grover Underwood being his sidekicks, the big brain and the comic relief! All of them have an incredibly important role in the story that unfolds. It’s the world of greek mythology, so they need all the help they can get in this world of monsters.
Part two:
Percy Jackson is a bit taller than average. He has sea green eyes and black hair. He’s the boyfriend of our very own wise girl, annabeth chase! He’s called seaweed brain by her for not being the smartest in things like her, but he is a team leader and good at what he does. He’s really good at swordfighting and the son of poseidon and therefore has water powers. Has a lot of sass, which is why we call him persassy. Real attitude, he’s got there! Raised by his very incredible parent, sally jackson.
Annabeth chase! The smart one of the trio, the one who always has a plan and gets them out of the mess. The girlfriend of the protagonist, percy jackson. She’s genuinely so brilliant and the daughter of athena, and has sewing skills as well. She’s really good at fighting with her dagger and has sharp grey eyes. She has blonde hair and a NY yankees cap that makes her invisible! Nicknamed wise girl for a reason.
Last but definitely not least, we come to grover underwood! The very funny enchilada obsessed satyr, he always makes jokes and eats furniture and cans when nervous. Half goat and half human, he’s the accomplice who made sure that percy and annabeth successfully reached camp. They owe him their lives, as they all owe each other.
Part three:
- College applications! Percy jackson has to write an essay. What will he do?
- Annabeth dying of laughter, making him write his own
- Sally and paul at the table, watching him as estelle tries to make him laugh
- Percy has very funny essay starter ideas, can’t think of something
- Begs annabeth and tells her it will be her fault if he doesn’t get into college. Annabeth finds this miraculously funny and doesn’t lift a finger
- Speech about betrayal and how she should be a better friend
- Percy calls grover and pleads for help for something very important
- Grover rushes, thinking it’s something about a monster. But nope! Just… college essays
- Grover shakes his head and gives percy some very non-helpful ideas
- Everybody is dying of laughter at the dinner table
- Percy writes a bad essay on a bad prompt
- Annabeth gets some fun out of teasing him and then gives him an actual prompt
- Percy thanks annabeth a lot and promises to make her cookies, which she smiles at. She will make sure he keeps that promise, or else…
- Percy attempts to write his essay with the prompt that annabeth did. Annabeth helps him here and there. Grover adds funny tidbits. The end of the story
Part four
I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
I have to write an essay. An essay! Gods know I suck at that. I’d rather fight the Minotaur with a hot pink suit than write an essay.
“Mom,” I said. “I need helppp. What do I even write?”
My mom laughs from the living room. I groan and shake my head. This calls for only one person.
Annabeth Chase, my girlfriend.
As I wait for her to come, I search up ideas on a laptop to cover my glaringly blank google doc. The door opens and I look up from my seat to see Annabeth.
“Annabeth! Thank the gods, I need your help.”
She raises her eyebrows. “What for?”
“I have an essay and I don’t know what to write,” I explain. My brain is out of ideas like those bowling racks at Bowling Forever! when I ask them for a size 8 ball.
Annabeth laughs. “Too bad, Seaweed Brain. I’m not helping you with that.”
Paul makes some cheerios for Estelle and sits down with her on the dining table, and my mom joins. He squints. “What happened? What do you need help for?”
I explain my dilemma. “Annabeth is refusing to help. Will you be my questguider on this seemingly impossible quest?”
Annabeth laughs and shakes her head. “Mr.Blofis, just leave him be,” she rolls her eyes. “He needs to find out how to write his own essay.”
“See, but I need prompts. What do I even write about?”
“Cars!” Estelle suggests as she makes a zooming motion. “Whee.”
I rack my brain to think of any ideas. “A zebra who feels left out of it’s gang because it’s stripes are weirdly shaped,” I suggest. Annabeth facepalms, and Paul looks amused.
“Write about something more… personal,” he suggests.
“What do you mean? That is personal. That’s the story of Zeff,”
“Uh.. Maybe-” Paul starts. Annabeth laughs. “He’s just joking around. We know no Zebra named Zeff.”
I groan. “Annabeth, please help. This essay is very important. I need a starter idea. If I mess this up, I won’t get into college.”
Annabeth just raises her eyebrows. “You’ll forever have to live with the guilt that because of you your boyfriend never got into college.” I say.
Estelle makes another zooming sound. “Airplane! Whoosh. Pu-ple! Pur-pal!”
Annabeth, for some reason, finds my heartfelt speech very funny. “I’m betrayed, Annabeth,” I say, putting a hand on my heart. “I thought we were friends. You’ve betrayed me.”
I try to rack my brain for ideas. Pizza hut gets a new pizza. Green food goes viral. I make cake.
I sigh and do what I do when there’s nothing I can do.
I call my best friend, Grover.
“Grover! I need some immediate help. This is very important. Not a drill.”
Grover bleats. “Percy? Are you in trouble? I’ll come right around!”
A few minutes later, Grover arrives, panting.
“What happened? Percy? Annabeth?”
Annabeth shakes his head. “Seaweed Brain over here is being dramatic because he can’t write his college essay.”
Grover sighs. “Hey! I was about to have a nice cheesy enchilada. I had to give it to Senius.” He shakes his head. “Maybe write about enchiladas. How delicious Louis XVI furniture is! You guys should really try it.”
I can tell my mom’s trying not to laugh.
Since no one’s giving me better ideas, I start writing an essay on enchiladas.
Enchiladas are very cool. They’re food that my best friend likes to eat. Enchiladas. They have edible stuff. Tomatoes. Cheese. Stuff that goes in enchiladas.
I groan and delete my google document. “I give up. What do i even write about?”
Annabeth laughs. “Enchiladas are very cool? Have edible stuff? Jeez, Percy, didn’t realise.”
“Fine,” she says. “How about, you write about something that’s meaningful to you. That’s personal to you, and you really have a connection with it.”
“Like?” I ask, out of ideas.
“Blue food! It’s something unique, that they’ll like, shows your love for food, and your connection with your mom.” My mom gives her a smile and gives her a side hug.
“THANK YOU.” I say. Finally, I got a good idea. “I promise to bake you cookies sometime in your honour.”
“I will make sure you do,” Annabeth smiles.
Finally, I get to work on my actual essay. Colleges, here I come.
Last edited by Coco_animator (July 24, 2025 06:19:56)
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!





Last edited by Coco_animator (July 25, 2025 16:48:55)
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
to all the bombs who recked me
– a writing comp entry –
– a writing comp entry –





Last edited by Coco_animator (July 25, 2025 16:50:46)
- Coco_animator
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Scratcher
100+ posts
lora's swc march and july'25 thread!
by the way, there's a contrapuntal poem near the end – so please read it that way
Last edited by Coco_animator (July 27, 2025 06:07:41)
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