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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
There was a cat and a bat and a rat, and the three animals were all having fun together at the park. In the park, there were many things for the trio to do. For example, there was a pond in the middle, where they could splash around in the water. However, there was a big problem for the animals. The cat did not like water, and the two animals did not like how the cat did not like water. The bat and the rat both loved water and playing in it, so they played in the water without the cat. The cat was very lonely and did not like how the other two animals were excluding him. The cat then was very angry and started to run away, the rat and the bat quickly followed, sad that they had made the cat very mad. Suddenly, there was a surprise. There was a duck in the other side of the park, and the duck was having fun with the cat. Then, as a result the four animals were all playing together with each other, and they all had so much fun and it was a happy ending.
- CleverComment
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
There's a haze on the horizon
Flowing rivers,
A comet in the sky
If it's a dream, don't wake me
I finally sat alone
Lost inside, adorable illusion and I cannot hide
Am I still alive? Where am I?
'Cause I've been by myself all night long
This world is full of demons
Soon found out I was losing my mind –
The scars on my mind are on replay
Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep.
Take a long drive heading anywhere,
We'll be far and fly away.
Tried to change the ending
(I don't wanna be alone when it ends)
I can never promise you tomorrow.
Deep in the fantasies and dreams of the winter,
Nothing in the world belongs to me
But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight.
I've stopped my dreaming –
Too late to go back to sleep.
Breathe in, breathe through
Wake up in the morning, everything's alright
song list:
late night talking - harry styles
summerland - halfalive
long story short - taylor swift
hey look ma i made it - panic! at the disco
you’re somebody else - flora cash
heart of glass - blondie
replay - lady gaga
when we were young - adele
harpy hare - yaelokre
cardigan - taylor swift
golden - harry styles
anaheim - niki
no better - lorde
my love mine all mine - mitski
safe and sound - taylor swift
these days - nico
defying gravity - idina menzel
labyrinth - taylor swift
love me not - ravyn lenae
note: i loved writing this daily!!! i had a lot of fun picking songs from my playlist and compiling certain themes i found. i first just played the songs on random and chose a few lines that stood out to me; after a few, i noticed that there were common themes of like an ideal paradise, as well as having personal issues like isolation. it took a long time for me to compile all them and find lyrics that met this theme (there were also some songs that were set in 2nd person which i couldnt really use a lot). i also LOVED how so many songs had this motif of dreaming, i think i wanted to put a twist on it bc the dream the narrator has at first is good but then turns a bit darker. overall i rlly like it bc it seems kinda abstract but has themes of like being vulnerable and being alone, but also of just facing them too. hope u enjoyed!
Last edited by CleverComment (July 10, 2025 15:06:37)
- CleverComment
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
Part 1 - 161 words
Maya has many flaws in her character. For one, she is very selfish. This is not a trait she likes to share with others, and she herself is not very aware of this fact. However, she always guards her food with her life, and she isn’t very fond of giving lavish and personal gifts either, even though she does sometimes put in the work. Additionally, Maya is a person that has a low social battery. As a result, she does not always want to talk to other people, and sometimes she will go out of the way to avoid talking to her friends. This flaw may lead her to shut others out, which could cause conflict. Additionally, the selfish flaw may cause her friends to not like the fact that she does not like to share her own possessions with them. These tensions and flaws in Maya’s character could make her lose relationships with her friends, as she would prioritize herself.
Part 2 - 204 words
Maya’s strengths are knowing the right answer to math questions; she knows a lot about math and she likes to dedicate herself to it. Additionally, she is somebody who does not hold grudges; maybe this will be a quality that will lead her to forgive her friends (who knows, though). Additionally, she has a goal of getting into a good college; however, this goal may lead her to spend more time on her extracurriculars than with her friends. A challenge that I believe Maya will face is not spending enough time with her friends. This is because of her focus on herself and college, which may cause tensions. Maya may initially support her choices, but she might realize the consequence of her actions; she might have a conversation with a friend and understand that she needs to focus on her friends as well. This may be hard to do, as she is usually geared towards herself, but with a little bit of guidance, Maya may finally change her beliefs and understand the value of her friendships. Additionally, one other goal that Maya has is to become the valedictorian of her school, which may lead her to focus more time on academic pursuits, as well.
Part 3 - 206 words
As mentioned earlier, Maya’s motivation is to go to a good college and become the valedictorian of school; thus, she will focus more on herself and her academics than her friends and family. This motivation stems from the fact that Maya is a first-generation immigrant in her family. She was born in Chile, but when she was 3 years old, she moved to the U.S. with her family in pursuit of a better education and life quality. Thus, she wants to go to a good college, as she will be the first in her family to. Additionally, she wants to make her parents proud; they had made many sacrifices to move to the U.S., and she does not want to waste her opportunities. As a result of all these, Maya won’t be able to see that there is more to life than her future; her motivations and goals are part of her character development. She has spent her whole life working towards getting a good life, but she doesn’t realize that she already has one with all her friends and family. By realizing that her motivation isn’t all that matters, Maya will develop and see that there is so much good already surrounding her.
Part 4 - 555 words
Maya was a 18 year old student living in the U.S. She moved to the U.S. from Chile when she was a very little girl. Maya is a student who wants to be the best. She has spent her whole life being the best - the best student, the best daughter, the best friend. That’s who Maya is.
Maya is currently in senior year in school - her college applications are almost ready to submit, and she is on a good track to becoming valedictorian. She walks home one day, tired from a day of school, and is greeted by her parents’ cooking – her favorite food, a seafood stew, is boiling on the counter. “Wow!” She says. “Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad! This is my favorite food, just what I needed after a long day.” Then, after a while, she thinks.
“Why did you make it today, specifically? It’s a school day, and nothing special is happening.” She says. Her dad gestures for her to follow, and when she’s seated at the table, she notices her best friend Mayo sitting at the table. She lets out a gasp. “Mayo! I didn’t know you were coming here!” Outside, she is happy, but inside, she doesn’t know what to feel; she already had an exhausting day at school. Now, she had to maintain her demeanor in front of him. Mayo hugs her, and the two begin eating the soup from their respective bowls.
“Maya, do you think that I could have some of your crab?” Mayo asks, his eyes watering. “I don’t have any crab in my soup bowl, and I see that you have some extra.” Maya rolls her eyes. She was sick of Mayo always asking to take her stuff. She decides to put an end to this. “No. No, Mayo, I will not.” She stomps on the floor and is angry. Mayo looks hurt. “Why? Maya? What did I ever do to deserve this? I’m a good guy, I promise!” Then, he looks angry. “You know what? Fine. All you do is think about yourself. You know that? You’d rather study for a test than go to my birthday party!” Maya gasps. There were shots fired. “How DARE you bring that up? That was three years ago?” Mayo nods. “It’s the truth. You’re always thinking about college, and never about your friends.”
There is a moment of silence. Mayo walks away from the table and leaves the house. “Thank you for the dinner,” he says to Maya’s parents. A few hours later, Maya can’t get the words Mayo said to her out of her head. “He’s right,” she says to himself. “I can’t always be thinking about college and school. My friends are there for a reason; they care about me.” The next day, at school, Maya finds Mayo at his locker, looking angry. “I’m so sorry, Mayo. You are so right. You were right this whole time.” Mayo looks at her. “I’m not who I once was. I once cared about my friends, but I didn’t know that I stopped. Thank you for saying those words yesterday.” Mayo takes a moment, and then the two friends hug. “Thank you,” Mayo says, tears flowing down his face. “Thank you for being my friend,” Maya says in return.
They both smile, and walk to class together.
Last edited by CleverComment (July 10, 2025 22:45:56)
- CleverComment
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)

one thing im noticing before i read it in depth is that the text has a bunch of big paragraphs that are a little hard to read bc the text is kinda clumped together. i think the first paragraph is perfect, but for the second one, you can def split it after a few sentences to make it easier to read! for example, the second paragraph could be
It turns out that the winds of Silver Bell Grove shroud not only words and thoughts, but also figures in their ancient mist. Just where the dappled sunbeams make delightful patterns on the trees, filtering through dense layers of leaves, walks a young maiden known to only the poplars as Maia.
While her equals elsewhere sing to the bright moon always eager to listen or honed their bronze patterned armour, Maia wields a wand. Oh yes, I’m not mistaken- a wand of starlight crowned by a piece of the full moon which shimmers at her gentle touch.
It’s true, though she’s not what most would call a ‘proper elf’, with her wavy, dark red hair left unbraided more often than not, her viridescent eyes which reflect the moss she chatters away to and of course, one of her greatest talents- falling into an imaginative reverie at the most inconvenient times possible.
So, I suppose you won’t believe me when I say that it was the latter paired with her characteristic, inextinguishable vivacity which etched her name in elfin history for centuries to come. Let me clarify.
also, the title “Poplars” is good, but it could maybe be more descriptive, such as “the whispering poplars”, so i would know more about it! or maybe something about maia being fearless or making the earth bloom :0
The whispering poplars in the Silver Bell Grove is known across the elfin world for harbouring secrets of one and all.ooh i like this intro :0 also a side note, it should be “are known” because it's a plural noun!
Yet, the thought never crosses any of the elves’ minds that maybe, other than the typical mysteries, the eternally snow-capped Lombardies have more tales to tell.this sentence coming after the first one is kinda different for me bc i'm assuming the lombardies are mountains, but it's not mentioned as much at the rest of the story, maybe you should change that? i love the “eternally snow-capped” adjective tho!!
i really love the adjectives and words you choose (dappled sunbeams, viridescent); it's very nice for the magic feel of the story!
It’s true, though she’s not what most would call a ‘proper elf’, with her wavy, dark red hair left unbraided more often than not, her viridescent eyes which reflect the moss she chatters away to and of course, one of her greatest talents- falling into an imaginative reverie at the most inconvenient times possible.this being one sentence is kinda long, i would recommend splitting it up to keep the flow of the story! for example, you could write
It’s true, though she’s not what most would call a ‘proper elf’. Her wavy, dark red hair is left unbraided more often than not, and her viridescent eyes reflect the moss she chatters away to. And, of course, one of her greatest talents is falling into an imaginative reverie at the most inconvenient times possible.something of that sort can def make the sentence flow better! there are also some other places with long sentences, and even though it definitely adds to the style and vibe, it can be hard to read so just be aware of that!
She brushed away the blossoms and held the wand in her hand, feeling the ancient runes carved into it, That instant, she thought she heard a faint voice echo through the forest. “Fearless…” The w ord seemed to drift away from her, far away, into the golden sun. The flowers paused their dancing, the trees held their breath- and in that fleeting moment, Maia knew that this wand belonged to her.omg i love this part!!!!!!!!!!!
Maia’s heart was pounding with fear.you probably have heard this, but “show, not tell” in your writing is super important! instead of saying that she was scared, you could say something along the lines of “Maia's heart pounded against her chest, and her breathing grew shallow.” to convey the fear!
Some evil force beneath the forest was consuming it from within, pulling magic and mystery through the earth’s veins. Her thoughts raced. How was she to combat an unseen enemy so powerful?a suggestion i have for the question at the end is to put it in italics! it would separate it from the rest, while making it clear that it's in her thoughts. additionally, you can always use italics in your writing to emphasize something and make it stand out - i would def recommend that!
And then, the wand cracked and disappeared, leaving only some threads of starlight behind it.since this was the climax of the story, i would expand more on this part! for example, you could add a paragraph about how she felt like she couldn't do it, or a paragraph about how the darkness was affecting her when she cast the spell or something? then, it would make the climax more dramatic!!
—an ancient poplar still the princess of Silver Bell Grove-i'm not rlly sure what the “still” in this part means?? maybe you could replace it with a comma or “and”?
Maia. The fearless girl who made the earth bloom.YESSS I LOVE the last line!! with the blooming and also how the forest whispered “fearless”. overall i loved reading this story, i rlly liked the descriptions and i'd love to read this again
thx for letting me critique!Last edited by CleverComment (July 10, 2025 17:07:50)
- CleverComment
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
The cat in the hat is an evil animal. I’m not lying to you – it’s the truth. The cat in the hat is an evil trickster who is pretending to be a good animal. Once, I met him and he pretended to be nice, but once I hid in the closet to hear what he was saying, he started swearing and saying how everyone was evil! I was schocked. The cat in the hat is always known as a nice and sweet cat, even though he is sometimes causing trouble. But still, the cat in the hat is a childhood icon, and everyone wants to meet the cat in the hat, especially when they are bored. But when I went to his house one day, the cat in the hat was not there. I was shocked, and realized that the front door was open, so I decided to sneak inside and see what the cat in the hat had to hide. The thing was, when i walked to the basement, I heard some screams. I was so scared, I was thinking that the cat in the hat had some monsters down there. I plucked up my courage and walked down there, and I saw there were children. Not one, but three small children hidden in the basement in fear. I was so shocked – the cat in the hat was kidnapping children! So I did what I could – I called the police, and within a minute they met me in the basement and freed all the children. Never trust the cat in the hat, he is definitely hiding many things.
Last edited by CleverComment (July 11, 2025 17:42:14)
- CleverComment
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
content warning: romance/physical affection
Steven was lonely – very lonely. Lying in his messy bed, he felt completely and utterly alone.
He shouldn’t be; living in New York City, he was constantly surrounded by millions of voices. Yet, being near so many people made Steven feel like a loner. There he was, at midnight, in his small apartment, scrolling on his cracked phone.
Life was supposed to get better after college, that’s what they all told him. But, one year after graduating, Steven felt disappointed, let-down – his life was a movie that didn’t meet his expectations.
Everyday felt the same – no, everyday was the same. A mindless routine, an endless train going in circles. Wake up, eat, leave the apartment, work, leave work, eat, sleep. Steven yearned for something different, something that would bring flavor to his life.
He had no roommates. His family lived on the other side of the country. And, most importantly, he didn’t have a partner. Steven’s parents were already married at his age – 24 – and he was still single. Stanley, his best friend, was already planning a proposal to his girlfriend.
He hadn’t even had his first kiss yet!
Of course, he’d tried dating apps: Timber, Bumble, Hinge, to name a few. He’d been on a few dates, but none of them had worked out. In fact, he’d had one earlier today. The girl, Emily – or Emma? –, had walked away as soon as Steven paid the bill. When he tried to text her, he found that she had blocked him.
At that time, he’d been annoyed. Now, with the dark vulnerability of the night, he couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in his heart. With every passing day, he felt more alone; Steven needed someone in his life, otherwise who would he be?
He let out a small chuckle. I guess this is my life now. He laughed, but there was truth in his statement. Sighing, Steven turned back to the addictive comfort of this phone.
To an onlooker, it was a sorrowful sight. While bedsheets covered his body, blue light revealed his drooping features: squinted eyes, disheveled blond hair, pale skin. Of course, he didn’t want to continue – but he didn’t want to stop, either. Waves of endless shorts consumed his mind: the same screaming, sped-up song; the same content creators faking their lives for views. It was horrible, and fascinating.
Steven’s thumb swiped up, and he dully watched a Tiktoker, hair resembling a bird’s nest, describe his hot girlfriend. Urgh. Not this again. He began to swipe, but then the Tiktoker said something – “Find yours with this link!”.
Steven’s thumb stopped. Find yours?
He furrowed his brows and let the TikTok play. “I’ve always wanted a girlfriend,” bird’s nest said. “But, thanks to BANG, my dreams became my reality! You, yes you” — he pointed at the camera — “can do the same. With a 100% match rate, find yours with this link!”
Watching in subdued wonder, Steven dared to hope. Was this the chance? Could he finally find love?
It seemed as if the universe had given a sign — a sign that could not be ignored. Steven clicked on the link and was instantly transferred to a webpage.
A sleek, monochromatic design emphasized the company’s name, BANG. Then, scrolling down, Steven saw the words “Find your ideal girlfriend”. Interesting…
First off, he’d love a partner with blonde hair and blue eyes, just like him. In fact, he always liked girls with long and wavy hair, going down past their shoulders – Steven made sure to specify that.
When he reached the nationality section, he paused. Obviously, he was American. But, did he want an American girlfriend? Maybe she could come from an exotic country? Steven always fancied Swedish girls – Korean girls, too… After a few moments, he settled on “British”; it was the perfect balance between familiar and foreign. Besides, British accents are hot.
The last section asked for his ideal girlfriend’s name. What kind of question is that? He thought for a minute, then left it blank.
Finally, he was done. But before he could submit, Steven was greeted with a “Pay now” page. Urgh. Of course. All good things come with a price, literally.
His strained eyes glanced at the cost, a whopping $499.99. He gasped — for a moment, he was unsure. Could this sketchy website even find a girl nearby that met his requirements?
But he really wanted — no, needed — a girlfriend. Anyhow, the Tiktoker did say that there was a 100% match rate. Nothing could stop the price of love, and so, Steven paid the bill. After all, you only live once.
He looked through the windows of his empty apartment, stars shining in the night. Can my endless lonely days finally end?
Steven’s eyes suddenly darted to the time: 3:06 a.m. Yikes. He put his phone away and settled into a comfortable position. Please, please work.
In the city that never sleeps, Steven slept.
~
When Steven woke, the city was in full swing. At its zenith in the blue sky, the sun was the disco ball, brightening the party below. The music consisted of a cacophony of car honks. Pedestrians navigated the dance floor, seeking shade to avoid the sweltering heat.
It was noon, and it was noon in New York City.
Steven rubbed his eyes and sat up. For some reason, his pillow was on the floor, and he had rotated 180 degrees in his sleep. Sitting up, the events of the night before came back in vivid detail.
He winced – did he really spend $500 to find another girlfriend? It was too early to contemplate his decisions, so he got out of bed.
Steven had a quick breakfast, then sat back on the mattress – he never really had anything to do on weekends. Stanley’s visiting soon, he thought. At least I’ll have something to look forward to.
In the meantime, should he go grocery shopping? Or stay indoors, with the A/C? He didn’t want to do anything, but he didn’t want to do nothing either. Before he could decide, a firm knock came from the door.
That’s weird – Stanley wasn’t due for a few hours. Steven walked to the door, a whole three steps from his bed, and opened it.
Standing outside his door was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She wasn’t just pretty – she was drop-dead gorgeous. With her long lashes and slightly puffy lips, she looked like she came from heaven. The woman bore a striking resemblance to Steven’s preferences: luscious blonde hair, going down below her shoulders, and electric blue eyes.
Steven stood in shock; it wasn’t everyday that he was greeted by a literal angel outside his door. After a few moments, he mustered up the courage. “Hi,” he said, then winced – someone help me.
The woman smiled, and Steven’s world lit up. “Hello, is this Steven?” she asked, traces of a British accent present.
He tried to appear unbothered. “Yeah, that’s me,” he replied, then paused. “How did you know?”
She nodded, and Steven wondered how she made the smallest things look so perfect. “We matched on BANG yesterday, and I just wanted to stop by.”
“Oh,” said Steven. He looked her up and down. “Wow, you look exactly like who I wanted my girlfriend to be,” he said casually.
She winked. “And you look like my perfect boyfriend,” she smirked. “My name is Aimee, pleased to meet you.”
Steven’s head was still wrapped around the “perfect boyfriend” part, but he grinned and casually ran his fingers through his hair. “So,” he gestured back, “do you want to come in?”
Aimee’s electric blue eyes glanced at the apartment. “I never thought you would inquire.” The hint of a smile played on her lips. “Care to lead me in?”
Oh my gosh. She had extended her hand out. He gave a wobbly smile. “Sure,” he said. He reached his hand out, and hesitated. Steven looked down and met Aimee’s expectant gaze; then, after a split second, he took her hand.
It was silky smooth, so smooth that he could melt in it. Her touch was a dove’s feather, and for a moment, he could feel nothing else. Then, gently holding her hand, Steven led her in the apartment.
His studio apartment was in bad condition: his disheveled bed, the remains of his breakfast in the sink, and his clothes strewn on the wooden floor. “Sorry,” he said, turning around to face her. “It usually doesn’t look like this.” Hopefully she believes me.
Aimee laughed, a bubbling sound that made Steven forget his worries. “Do not worry, I have seen much worse.” She squeezed his hand, and his heart gave a small jolt.
They sat at the edge of Steven’s unmade bed, side by side, hands intertwined. Just a few hours ago, I was scrolling here in the dead of night. Now, he was holding hands with the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. His bed, once a symbol of his loneliness, was now where he sat with his lover.
Steven looked at Aimee’s perfect face, then flinched. Her eyes, now inches away, were strikingly blue. It was almost unnatural, the intensity of her electric gaze – too rich to be real. And, when she was staring at him, it seemed as if her pupils were constantly twitching, ever so slightly.
He blinked, and the moment ended. “Stevie,” Aimee said, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Can I call you Stevie?”
Suddenly, Steven couldn’t imagine being called anything else. “Yes,” he grinned. “Yes, you can.”
She smiled back at him. “Stevie,” she repeated. “It is so nice to finally meet you.” Aimee moved closer. “I have been waiting for this moment.”
Steven broke eye contact and looked around his small apartment. “I never thought this would happen.” He turned to his thoughts. This is what my life can be. He had found her, Aimee, the love of his life. The girl he trusted, the girl he loved, the girl he would spend the rest of his life with.
His girlfriend.
The whir of the air conditioner brought Steven back to reality. Aimee was inches away, tucking her blonde hair under her ear. He moved his hand tentatively to her side, and was greeted by a smile. Was this going to be it?
Aimee leaned towards him, her exhales on his face. His heart pumped rapidly, and he could feel his breaths grow shallow. Closing his eyes, Steven slowly leaned towards the love of his life, blood rushing, mind racing. And, just like that, it happened.
For a moment, he felt nothing. Silence, and darkness. All at once, a violent rush went to his head. He felt a thousand wildfires, a thousand fireworks, a thousand burning stars. This is really happening. Steven was exuberant.
Out of nowhere, a metallic taste entered his mouth. He felt as if he was biting down on an old, rusted coin; it was horrible. Steven instantly pulled away, coughing. Just like that, it was over.
Aimee glanced at him, patting his back with her silky smooth hand. “Would you like me to assist you?”
A bitter aftertaste remained; it was almost as if there was metal in Aimee’s mouth when they had kissed. “No,” he said. The memory of his exuberance resurfaced, and Steven beamed. “Wow, I can’t believe we just did that.”
She winked, then rose, taking her hands off his shoulder. “I think I have overstayed my welcome,” Aimee said. Hand on the doorknob, she smiled at him. “See you soon, Stevie.” And, as fast as she came, she was gone.
Sitting on his bed, Steven was alone for the second time that day. But, this time, it was different; he was alone, but he had someone. A new lover, a new girlfriend. His life was bursting with millions of new possibilities, but all of them involved her. I’m in love. Grinning, he laid back in his messy bed.
Steven was no longer lonely; he was in love.
QUESTIONS FOR CRITIQUERS (WARNING, THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR THE STORY): ALSO DONT BE AFRAID OF BEING BRUTALLY HONEST
1. what did you think of steven as a character? was he fleshed out enough? did you dislike him? did this impact what you thought of this story?
2. was the ending shocking? was it rushed? (i was running out of words)
3. did you figure out that aimee was an ai robot? if so, when? was it too obvious? if not, what did you think she was?
4. the story was supposed to be the beginning of a satire, did it seem like it?
5. this was *ONE OF* my first times writing romance and i kinda struggled with many parts :sob: was it cringey? or maybe even inappropriate? any specific lines that threw you off?
THANKS FOR CRITIQUING!!! DONT WORRY U DONT HAVE TO DO IT IF ITS TOO LONG, DONT WORRY
Last edited by CleverComment (July 26, 2025 00:36:41)
- CleverComment
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
I always thought of summer as long days and short nights. Waking up with the sun, sleeping under the stars. The smell of freedom, and tall grass, and flowing hills. Summer was when days were carefree; those days, the only thing that mattered was nothing.
When summer rolled around, I ate watermelon every day with my family. It was in season, they were cheap, and most importantly, they were delicious. The perfect treat after a day outdoors, a day spent swimming, a day spent sleeping. Sometimes, when I was gulping it down, I swallowed a few seeds. I always thought that a watermelon would grow inside of me, and I was terrified. My mom said that that would be a good thing. Today, I eat watermelon slowly, and I laugh at my younger self.
But sometimes I forget about the sweltering heat, and the languid afternoons, and the lazy nights of summer. I forget about the fruit flies flying around the house, and the mosquitoes that would come around at night. But, to say that summer was complete without them would be wrong. Without watermelon, there would be no fruit flies. And without watermelon, summer wouldn’t be the same.
I think that I look too fondly to the past, waiting every summer to relive the ones from my childhood. (In a way, I’m trapped in the idealisms of my past.) I tend to romanticize things long gone; I remember the watermelon, but not the fruit flies swarming around it. I remember the freedom of the blue sky, but not the oppression of the humid air.
Summer isn’t beautiful because it’s perfect, it’s beautiful because it’s imperfect – like the fruit flies that make the watermelon worth it. So, this summer, I won’t be chasing old fantasies. Instead, I’ll be creating new ones.
Last edited by CleverComment (July 19, 2025 19:42:43)
- CleverComment
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
thank u for letting me critique this and thank you SO much for your feedback, it was so helpful! also jsyk im not the best at critiquing poetry but ill try my best!!!
I really liked reading these pieces - they were very very nice and I loved the metaphors and the themes <33 I'm going to be doing line by line critique personally as opposed to the overall poem, if that's ok!! I'll also be kinda nit-picky BUT PLS feel free to ignore some feedback, a lot of it is just my personal pref!
one thing to point out: the titles for the first 3 poems are written in sentence case. however for the last one it is written with caps starting each word, idk if that's intentional or not but jsyk!
like pointe shoe ribbons, but crueler,crueler doesn't flow as well for me personally, so maybe you could replace it with “worse” or something?? but it's up to you, I think either way would be good!
one minor thing for me is that you use a bunch of hyphens (-) to end sentences (which I love!) but I think using em-dashes would be better (—), so you could distinguish it from hyphens in words, like “well-worn”!
and capsized kayaks scattered with cookie crumbs,I like this because of the different verbs
and sunbathing on the school field,
the happy screaming of children
and squawking of seagulls
and friends around me -
things she never saw me do.
one thing I noticed is that the lines all start with “and” except the third one, maybe you could replace “the” with “and” to make it consistent, perhaps?And maybe one day,I rlly like this, but the “added so many more memories and views and people to my constellation” is a bit complex for one phrase? maybe you could remove the “and views and people” or maybe add it somewhere else to get the point across clearer?
after I have lived so much more
and added so many more memories
and views and people
to my constellation,
we can go on a walk again,
one more general piece of advice is to use italics!! that's something I love using to emphasize specific words, I know that you use it at some places but I'd recommend using it more! (that might just be me tho..) for example, you could use it here:
I don’t remember learning
to breathe through dance.
Only that I did.
My heartbeat learnt
its tempo at the barre,
my smile formed
mid pirouette.
or instead of using ellipsis here, you can do italics!
My life will no longer have
that spark
which I only get from dancing.
or edit it to this
The echo of my last notes
hangs in the air.
I hope they’re good ones.
I keep wondering…I recommend keeping the last period as a question to continue the trend of the other questions in this stanza!
When will my last pilé be?
Will I know?
Or will it just fade away
like the audience filing out.
Forced to watch, applaudthe “my language” being two separate lines is a bit confusing to me; maybe keep them as one?? but that's just very nit-picky idk xD
my
language…
That I no longer speak,
Wishing I could.
One daythe two periods being next to each other is a bit awkward, maybe make the first one a comma instead? or a –?
I will have to leave my world behind.
And nothing else will ever compare.
I’m scared that one day,omg love this
the French I learn
will be scattered with shopping lists
instead of stage directions.
No more arabesques uttered -
just bus times and baguettes.
Only errands and verb endings,
no pirouettes.
no poetry.

Dance is the languagesuch a good ending, maybe making the first 2 stanzas together would emphasize the last one? so like
I never thought I’d unlearn…
Maybe all languages fade
eventually.
But I’m so scared of that moment.
Dance is the languagebut im not super sure…
I never thought I’d unlearn…
Maybe all languages fade
eventually.
But I’m so scared of that moment.
Did I spend too much time rehearsinglove this!!!! but I think it should be “forgot” to keep it in past tense, im not sure though
and forget to perform?
My last bow should've been deeper than the rest.I like the first line!! but the next two are kinda strange for me, bc it might be unfinished, with the “even if”? not sure if I'm misinterepting it though, but yeah!
At least I get a chance now,
even if
Maybe my final bow wasn’tomg so true – I'd remove the “all along” bc it's a bit redundant and ending it with “for me” would emphasize that!!
for them -
it was for me
all along.
And it's so dark, but it’s okay:I think this can be separated into two stanzas after “a curtain of stars” to emphasize the second part of it, that's just my opinion tho!
I think the curtain might be
all my laughs and loves
and every time I lived,
all weaved into a curtain of stars.
I hope it will light up the stage
beneath,
and I will shine through,
like she shone for me.
I really hope I was a show10/10 no notes
worth watching.
Just the hush backstage after -is it supposed to be “hushed” bc that's an adjective??
just the final click of a camera -
Just the hush backstage after -I think the line breaking is kinda sus for this final part; I def think that the “maybe” part should be by itself. but the first few stanzas might be better together, so the reader can see them grouped together better. here's an idea of what im saying?
just the final click of a camera -
just the final closing of eyes…
peacefully, I hope,
and happy, free, loved - or something like it.
Maybe my eyes close for the final time, and … darkness,
no stars.
Just the hush backstage after -
just the final click of a camera -
just the final closing of eyes…
peacefully, I hope,
and happy, free, loved - or something like it.
Maybe my eyes close for the final time, and … darkness,
no stars.
also for this line:
Maybe my eyes close for the final time, and … darkness,I get that you're saying that there's darkness when u close ur eyes, but maybe being clearer could help? like saying “close for the final time, and I see… darkness, no stars” or smth like that!
no stars.
But somewhere,OMG AMAZING ENDINGGGG love that u tied it back to the first poem. one VERY SMALL thing I have is that maybe you could omit the period after “name”, bc right now it feels like it's a firm ending? and deleting it would make the final period stand out? so it's like
a star remembers my name.
and I remember too.
But somewhere,
a star remembers my name
and I remember too.

OVERALL LOVED IT, LOVED THE POEM AND THE METAPHORS AND THE STAGE AND THE STARS! thx for letting me critique and I loved reading this <333
Last edited by CleverComment (July 20, 2025 00:51:16)
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Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
The cat in the hat and the bat and the rat are all animals. The cat in the hat is a red cat who likes to wear hats in his spare time. The bat and the rat are both twins, nobody knows why they were twins, but people knew that when they were born, they shared a very big bond with each other, which is why they were seen as twins. The cat in the hat and the bat and the rat liked to play with each other in their spare time; one game and thing that they liked to play together was a game which had only one rule. The rule was that they could not touch water. For some reason, this game was very fun to them, as the place where they lived together had a lot of water; whether it was in the sink or in the lake or in the pool in the house, there were many places for the three animals to touch the water, and they tried their best not to. One day, the three animals were playing the game together when they found out that there was no more water in the house. Naturally, the three animals were very sad; without water, what would they play with? There was no more reason to play the game. However, the bat had been looking forward to it all day and was very sad. This is very sad to all of them, and for that reason, the bat started crying. Since the rat was an empath and shared a big bond with the bat, since they were twins, the rat also started crying. Then, the cat in the hat started laughing for some reason. The bat and the rat looked at the cat in the hat with a strange look on their faces. They both stopped crying, and the cat in the hat actually started crying; however, this time, it was in tears of laughter. The cat in the hat couldn’t stop laughing, and the rat and the bat looked so confused. The cat in the hat was now crying and laughing on the floor (you could say that the cat in that hat was rolling on the floor laughing, or ROFL). The rat and the bat continued to stare at the cat in the hat in confusion, and they started to ask the cat in the hat why they were laughing, given that they could not play the game anymore. The cat in the hat tried to respond, but continued laughing; after one minute, they mustered up the energy and said that the game had already ended. The rat and the bat were confused; there was no more water in the house, so they did not know why the game was over? And even if it was, who had won, and who had lost?
The cat in the hat finally stopped laughing. It said “the point of this game is to not touch water, right? And if you touch water, then you lose, right?” The rat and the bat slowly nodded their heads. That was right; those were the rules of the game. However, since there was a drought and no water at all in the house, they were wondering why the game had even ended. Especially since they had not even stepped anywhere. Finally, the cat in the hat explained that since the rat and the bat had touched water, they had lost. The rat and the bat were both so confused and demanded an explanation; they both thought that the cat was cheating somehow, or that the cat had lost their mind. The cat said that since they had both cried tears, they touched water, and had therefore lost. The rat and the bat stared at the cat for a second in dumbfounded confusion, processing what the cat had just said about them. Then, the rat and the bat both started laughing and started saying ha ha ha ha ha. They realized that, since they were crying about the game, they were actually playing it and lost it! It was so funny that they started laughing and crying and rolling on the ground, just like the cat did. In the end, the rat and the bat and the cat in the hat all ended up playing the game. And the best thing was, the very second that the animals stopped laughing, the water came back into the house, and the three animals could play all the games they wanted to with each other with as long as they could.
There is a small fish in the lake in the park in the city in the country in the continent in the earth in the solar system in the universe. The small fish has big thoughts about the world; the small fish believes that, even though he is too small to make a difference in the grand scheme of things, that he can still believe in himself and the power of small actions. The small fish is brown, but sometimes black in the night time. The small fish likes to think and read and ponder (get it, because pond-er?), and the small fish also likes to contemplate his life choices, which is funny. There is a small human that is living in a house next to the park, and the small human believes that everything she does is important to the world, and that the small human needs to make good choices. But the small human doesn’t know that, in the end, it is about making choices for yourself and living a good life. That’s what the small fish knows. That is the end to this story today, the end to all the things in the end. That is kinda ironic, because even though the small human is a lot bigger than the small fish, it is barely anything at all. Because when compared to planets and solar systems and stars, the small human might as well be the small fish. I think that a lot of people in the world think that everything matters; and in a way, it does. But something else that a lot of people in the world need to remember is that life isn’t made to be making choices and stressing about them all the time; it is to enjoy yourself. That is my interpretation. Good night.
The small dragonfly lives in the pond and has a good life. That is all that matters; surviving and having fun and just taking life with a grain of salt.
Last edited by CleverComment (July 20, 2025 01:01:12)
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Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
The cat and the dog were having a great day. Nothing bad had happened so far, and the two pets were having a lot of fun playing games with each other. The owner had gone for the day, which left the two animals having a lot of free time. Of course, the dog still wanted to go out and go on a walk, but the cat did not want to. However, the dog realized that since the owner was gone, this would not be possible, so he gave in and started playin gwith the cat indoors. However, the owner always thought that the dog and the cat did not go along with each other. The owner thought that the cat did not like the dog because they were two different species. However, the owner did not actually know that the dog and the cat were best friends, but were only pretending to hate each other and not get along with each other when the owner was there because they both wanted different foods. They deduced that if the owner thought that the cat and the dog were both really good friends, they would have to eat the same food. This was not a good thing, because the cat and the dog both liked different foods, and that they both wanted to have their own foods to eat. However, little did they know, the cat and the dog could not even eat the same foods, so even if they did know that they were best friends and the owner knew, they would still eat different foods. So, once the learned this, they showed their affection with each other and it was all a happy ending!
Last edited by CleverComment (July 20, 2025 20:29:46)
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Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
Finch sits outside the cottage, staring at the golden sunset illuminating the flowing hills around him. In the gold, the world seems to stop moving. He shifts his weight and picks absentmindedly at a few blades of grass. Sitting beside him is the silhouette of his lover. In the gold, she is his world.
Finch is a visionary and he wants to see the best of the world. He has big ideas for the world and what he wants to do with it. Kate, his lover, has eloped with him and he has been living in the cottage with her for the past week. However, with every sunset he does not feel content, with every new sunset, he feels more restless. In fact, staying at this solitary place does not do good things for him. He feels like he has so much potential to change the world, yet in a way, he feels constrained in a place with so many possibilities. He feels that he is doing nothing but living, and that is not enough – he doesn’t need to just live, he needs to change, to inspire.
Kate looks at him and smiles. “Finn, I could not imagine us being anywhere else. I feel so content and happy and so awesome that you are here with me and spending nothing but our company with each other. I love rising with the sun and sleeping at night. I don’t need anything else but your company and the big blue sky.”
Finn nods and smiles, but secretly he disagrees….
After a week, he runs away in the middle of the night. Kate doesn’t need to know, but the place felt more constraining than ever. She could stay there, but he was going to find a way to change the world. This was just the beginning.
Last edited by CleverComment (July 21, 2025 14:46:09)
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Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
sorry for the late reply, but here it is! I'll specifically go line-by-line and then offer general thoughts at the end.
I lean on my older sister, begging for a shoulder to cry on, just watching the sun set over the hills.oooh good intro, I'd just remove the “just” as it can be a bit redundant and take away from the main idea! (also there are two spaces after each comma)
Standing with the rest of our family, trying to not make any noise, not even a breath of noise, we all hug each other, knowing that we may never see each other again.this sentence has a lot of commas, I would recommend splitting it into two! also, the “not even a breath of noise” could be separated from the “not make any noise” using an em dash or something like that to emphasize it :0 and you could also remove the second “of noise” for clarity, if you'd like! for example, it could be
Standing with the rest of our family, we try to not make any noise – not even a breath. We all hug each other, knowing that we may never see each other again.also, for the second sentence, you use “each other” twice. you could replace it with something like “one another” or “we may never be together again”, if you'd like!
also “gun shots” should be one word, “gunshots”!
I tremble with fear and I take one last look at my sister.the “with fear” kinda tells the reader the narrator's emotions, rather than showing it. so I recommend implicitly telling it through her actions! for example, “my breaths becoming shallow” or “heart beating fast” could convey it instead! also maybe adding some physical descriptions of the sister/narrator could be good to picture them. for example, you could add smth like “her brown hair flying in the wind” at the end!
I want to apologize to my sister for all of the fights and arguments, but I know I just can’t or I would be putting my family in danger. The last thing I would ever want to happen is to put my family in danger.I'd recommend using “her” instead “my sister” again to avoid repetition! and the second sentence might be a bit similar to the previous one (but that could be intentional). something I'd do is change it to “That's the last thing I'd ever want to happen.”, but it is up to you!!
also putting the “tick tock” in italics could be cool to emphasize it :0
The timer in my head slowly counts down the hours, minutes and seconds.something I like to do is use “anaphora” (ooh fancy term) when repeating stuff? like it could be “the hours, the minutes, the seconds” to emphasize the time! also you could add “and seconds until she's gone” or smth like that, but it's up to you

What happens when the timer goes off? Will I ever see my family again? Is it the end of the world?YESS!! adding italics would def be good to show the narrator's thoughts! it could be like
What happens when the timer goes off? Will I ever see my family again? Is it the end of the world?for drama!!!
She leans down into my ear and whispers, “Little Sis, None of us know.” A teardrop starts to roll down my face.omg cook, love this ending!!!!!! a small nitpick is that “None” should be capitalized but that's very minor xDD
OVERALL I really liked this, it's very dramatic/emotional in a good way and im very intrigued to see what happens with the family :0 some ways you could expand are:
- from the narrator's perspective, show what happens to the family after the sister leaves? does the narrator adapt and go through their life fulfilling her roles? do they live a dangerous life? are there emotional tolls due to the family being separated?
- expand more on what happened to the sister, why she had to leave, where she's going. is she going to war (if not a soldier, maybe a nurse or something?). or is she leaving the family to provide for them? what does it mean by “put my family in danger”? are there spies? It's not really revealed what's happening to the family, so elaborating on that could be amazing.
overall there are many directions you can take and I loved reading it!!! I'd love to help you in the future if needed, but thx for letting me critique it
EXCITED TO SEE WHERE IT GOES FROM HERE!Last edited by CleverComment (July 21, 2025 15:17:29)
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Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
Last edited by CleverComment (July 23, 2025 15:06:05)
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Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/post/8637949/ leopard
https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/topic/828930/?page=1#post-8648586 may
irl friend
https://scratch.mit.edu/users/dreamysolitude/#comments-384612626 sophia
https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/topic/722471/?page=9#post-8648892 kiara
comment collection:
https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/50665171/comments/#comments-299321586 (november 2022)
https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/50665171/comments/#comments-299303099 (subway duolingo)
https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/50665171/comments/#comments-299341306 (memorieswc)
Last edited by CleverComment (July 27, 2025 14:11:20)
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Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
I really like dragonflies; there’s something about them that makes me feel so happy. It’s like, they’re a sign from the heavens above. Their glistening wings, their fast speeds, and their various designs are all so amazing. I feel like dragonflies are some of the most underrated bugs, compared to things like butterflies and moths and bees. Dragonflies are just, if not, even more cooler. They fly very fast, they have many different colors, and they can also live in places with lots of water. Something that always inspired me about dragonflies is their friendliness to humans, if that makes sense? Whenever I go biking, I always see a few dragonflies flying with me, and it’s always so cool to know that there’s someone else flying and biking with me. And, whenever it’s about to rain, I heard that dragonflies go to lower altitudes, where we are, so whenever I see them, it reminds me of the rain. I think that’s very cool.
When I grow up, I want to be a dragonfly. A being that is not stationary, pinned down by nothing but freedom. The ability to hunt so quickly, the ability to be so beautiful in nature. So, if you’re reading this, please appreciate dragonflies next time that you see one. They’re so beautiful, and I feel like more people in the world deserve to know more about them, I think that’s very cool in the end.
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Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
hi, i'm here and i'll be critiquing your story!!!! i will be doing line by line and then giving a general overview at the end. also, it is 100% up to you what you choose to do with my critique; in the end, it's only my opinion!
first thing that i'm noticing before i read it is that the text is kinda clumped together! i see that you separated the lines into their own paragraphs, but to make it easier, you could even add a line between each of them. for example:
“The story I am about to tell you is one you have heard many times, but they are all wrong. My version is the truth,” The mother told her little girl. “The version you are told is one of handsome princes come to save you and terrible witches come to curse you. Mine is different.”could become
“But I like the princes! The witches are scary, though. I don’t want to meet a witch. But maybe if I do, a prince will come save me!” The child said with stars in eyes.
“The story I am about to tell you is one you have heard many times, but they are all wrong. My version is the truth,” The mother told her little girl. “The version you are told is one of handsome princes come to save you and terrible witches come to curse you. Mine is different.”but this is a stylistic choice, do what feels more natural for you
“But I like the princes! The witches are scary, though. I don’t want to meet a witch. But maybe if I do, a prince will come save me!” The child said with stars in eyes.
the first line, “The story I am about to tell you is one you have heard many times, but they are all wrong.” could be shorter, or maybe separated into two sentences to get the point across more naturally! for example, it could be:
I am about to tell you a story you've heard many times. What's been told to you before is wrong, my version is the truth.i changed the second part of the sentence and moved it the next sentence!
the mother told her little girl.if you wanted to, you could add a quick description of the scene here to make it more immersive! for example, you could add “told her little girl, candlelight revealing her cloak” OR SMTH IDK
The version you are told is one of handsome princes come to save you and terrible witches come to curse you. Mine is different.”oooh a twist :0 “come to save you” and “come to curse you” isn't flowing that well for me personally?? maybe you could replace it with “princes who save you” and “witches who curse you”, but it's up to you!
meet a witch.“
”But maybe if I do,A SHORT THING, the quotations here are the wrong ones to start/end it, if it makes sense
She hugged her stuffed animalyou could specify which animal it is to make it more real, if you wanted!

“Fiiinne,” The girl grumbled, but she was smiling.the “The” should be lowercase! also, i love the “but she was smiling” ! you could maybe replace it with “grumbled, smiling inwards” or smth, but it works well rn

if you keep interrupting,” She scolded.“she” should be lowercase!
The husband was unsure that this was a good idea“that this” could be replaced with “if that” for past tense, i think
he loved his wife, greedy and selfish as she was,i feel like saying that the wife was greedy and selfish is kinda abrupt, bc she only says one thing before? maybe you could use a softer word??? IDK THOUGH
So the next morning she came to their door and demanded they give her their daughter once she was born to make up for stealing from her or she would curse them to forget their love forever.”this is a long sentence, breaking it apart would be better! also “once she was born” is kinda long, so maybe you could change it to “unborn”?
So the next morning, she came to their door and demanded they give her their unborn daughter to make up for stealing from her. Otherwise, she would curse them to forget their love forever.”would be better!
then the one person they lovedit should be “than”!
which they definitely would havethis is pretty casual, if you were going for more serious, you could say “which was a possibility”, but it depends on what you're going for!!
They simply gave the old woman the child“the old woman the child” could be rephrased to “the old woman their daughter” so you could avoid two “the”s in a row!!
The old woman loved her like she would a daughter, and Rapunzel loved the old woman like she would a mother.for me, I would delete “she would” both times to improve clarity! So like “loved her like a daughter”
She loved to sing, and her hair, which had grown long, so long, as she’d never thought to cut it, always had wildflowers she’d picked woven into her braid.there's a lot about her hair in one sentence, which isn't a bad thing!! but if u wanted to shorten it, you could remove the “so long” to make it clearer?? UP TO YOU THOUGH
“Mama, I’ve heard this story before. But when I heard it the parents loved their daughter and the old woman was a mean old witch!” The child interrupted.omg love the twistttt
“I told you it was one that’s been told many times. And those tales are wrong, told because of lies spread by the villain of this story.”
The boy tugged and pulled and wasn’t gentle at all, and when he finally reached the top of the tower and released his grip on her braid, she let out a deep breath of relief and immediately kicked him in the shins.“and wasn't gentle at all” could be substituted with “roughly” to get the same point across? you could also separate into two sentences, so like
The boy tugged and pulled roughly, until he finally reached the top of the tower. When he released his grip on her braid, she let out a deep breath of relief and immediately kicked him in the shins.

“‘Why would I marry you? I just met you and you climbed up my hair when you could have just used the stairs. And it really hurt!’ She glared at him.” LOLLL love itttt!!!
and taking her away.the correct tense here is “took”!
The child implored her mother with a frown.we alr know the child is talking to the mom, and also “implored” for me personally isn't really used that much?? so i'd replace it with “ask” and remove “her mother”, but it's your choice!!!

order of the king!”this should end with a '
“Does he die on the trip? I hope he does.” The child grinned.LOLLLL!!
“Daisy! You mustn't think such thoughts!” The mother frowned at her child, though she secretly agreed.yes love it!!! but this feels like a different place to share the child's name. maybe you could introduce it earlier, so we would know throughout?
And the old woman enveloped the girl, who she’d come to think of as a daughter, in a big hug.we already know that the woman thinks of rapunzel as a daughter, so maybe instead could say
And the old woman enveloped the girl, her daughter, in a big hug.perhaps to make it clearer?? IDK THOUGH
Her mother kissed her on the forehead and stood from her place at the foot of her bed. “Because my mother, Rapunzel, told me before she died.” Astrid said, hugging Daisy tight.YESSSS LOVE THIS ENDING omg the plot twist i loved it, i first thought that the mom was the old witch, but i like this a lot betterrrr!!! a small nit=pick would be that “died” could have a negative connotation for the happy ending? you could perhaps replace it with “passed away”?
general overview:
i really really liked this storyy!!!! i love the twist you did, the humor you had, and the curiousity daisy had
i think it was a great take and i loved the ending. overall, besides the small details i pointed out, some things you could do is make some longer sentences clearer! and also maybe you could add like a paragraph at the end showing daisy's surprise and her finally going to sleep after the ending?? BUT OVERALL I LOVED IT AND GOOD LUCKKK!!!!Last edited by CleverComment (July 25, 2025 18:20:15)
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Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
Alice is in wonderland, and she is having a lot of fun here. In wonderland, she escapes from the world. In wonderland, there is magic, and new creatures she talks to. In wonderland, everything is wonderful, and she loves it here.
At Alice’s home, everything is dull. Her dad is always gone for work, and rarely comes back home. Her mother is strict, and hurtful, and screams at her. Her old sister is waiting to leave the home, leaving Alice for herself. She plays with her dolls and runs in the meadow, hoping her mother will not find her. Alice finds many things in the meadow, but, every night, she dreads returning home. One day, Alice decided that she wasn’t going to go home; she was going to go to wonderland.
At wonderland, things weren’t always good. There was this evil queen that kept chasing her and wanting her head. There were some evil animals and creatures there. But still, wonderland was amazing; there were caterpillars and birds and snakes and mad hatter and rabbits and talking flowers and everything was amazing. Alice loved wonderland, and she would spend hours there, talking and meeting new people.
What alice didn’t know was that wonderland was not real. Wonderland existed solely in her head. She hallucinated everything that she saw; the people she talked to, the experiences she made. What alice did was escape the realities. Sometimes, her daydreams became so bad that she had difficulty and trouble escaping wonderland at the end, going back to her dull, real life. Sometimes, Alice didn’t even want to leave. Sometimes, she wondered if staying in wonderland was the best thing for her to do. Sometimes, Alice hoped that she would not be able to leave wonderland, because she thought that she could stay there forever.
As Alice spent longer and longer days in wonderland, she would sometimes go missing for hours, while her mother rushed to find her. One time, on a particularly bad day, Alice went to the forest and hid and went to wonderland for hours. When she woke, it was dark; she had been there the whole day. She dreaded going home, because her mother was cruel. Her mother did not like how Alice escaped and ran away, but Alice was scared and this only made it happen anymore. Her mother was waiting for her when Alice came home in the dark. The mother was very angry at Alice and shouted at her and threatened her. Alice was already numb, and she zoned out, hoping that her mother wouldn’t notice. The next day, Alice decided that she had enough. She ran away from the home, carrying nothing but her own dignity, and ran to the woods. This time, she didn’t look back. She ran as far as she could, running with all her might to get somewhere. Alice needed to get away from her home; and she needed to move to wonderland. Her life depended on it. So she ran and ran and ran and ran until her legs gave out and she collapsed into a clearing, miles away from her home, and the world went dark.
When she woke up, she was in wonderland again. Smiling, she ran and walked to the yellow trail to the mad hatter’s house. Alice liked having tea with the mad hatter; the mad hatter was crazier than she was, and being near crazy people made Alice feel sane. So, she skipped along the path, until she noticed something. The trail which she usually walked had changed; before, it was simply a small dirt trail. Now, it was a big, full yellow golden brick trail. It was very wide, and it was very big and yellow. Alice frowned; this was somewhere new. This was not the path to the mad hatter’s. Alice decided to follow this new yellow brick road, and wondered where it would lead. Hopefully to a place where the people trusted her, and a place where she could feel safe.
So she followed it.
The path led her to many places, but there was one place that she liked. It was a small wood place. The wood place had many trees, and the wood place also had many small bugs. There were many small bugs that were swarming the trees. Alice stopped and watching the small bugs swarming the old trees. It seemed as if the small bugs were slowly eating small parts of the trees one by one. Alice looked at the bugs, and the bugs seemed very cute and small. There were many of these bugs, and Alice wondered how many of these bugs existed, and if these bugs only existed in the forest. Alice asked the bugs if they could talk back to her, and they said yes, obviously, because everyone in the woods and in wonderland could talk to Alice. Alice asked the bugs what they were doing to the trees, and Alice asked the small bugs if they were eating the trees. The small bugs were very slow to answer the question that Alice had asked them, but they still decided after a few seconds that they were going to answer the question and show why they were eating the trees. The first bug said that they were eating the trees, confirming Alice’s suspicions. The second bug said that they were eating the trees, because it was their only food source, and without it, they would have to find another food source. Alice asked, why were the trees their only food source? Surely there were other foods and plants that the bugs could eat? Alice was very cautious to ask them this question, because Alice did not want the small bugs to think too hard about their answer and instead find a new source, because Alice looked very tasty at that moment, and she was a bit worried that she was going to get eaten.
The cat in the hat is a very nice cat. THe cat in the hat is a cat that always is fun to play with, and when I meet the cat in that hat, I would want the cat in the hat to play with me. THis is because the cat in the hat is my dream. The cat in the hat is the cat that I want to meet the most. Ever since I was small, I read the cat in the hat book with my mom and my little sister. I even wanted to cosplay as the cat in the hat this halloween, but my mom wanted to be the cat in the hat instead, so I was stuck being thing 2 with my little sister. I had wanted to be thing 1, but my sister always wanted to be thing 1, so i was very angry. I told her off to my mom, and my mom was very angry at me for telling my sister off for something that she wanted, and that instead of resolving the issue, i had to tell her off. Thus, I had to be thing 2, while she got thing 1. That is totally unfair! How come she gets thing 1? We all know that thing 1 is the best one. It is called number one for a reason. Who even is thing 2? Thing 2 is a big loser! I think to myself. Thing 2 should not even exist, I think to myself. Everyone knows the cat in the hat, and everyone knows thing 1, but nobody knows thing 2. And, for some reason, I was the one getting stuck as thing 2. How was that even fair. My mom obviously likes my little sister more than me, otherwise she would not do such an evil thing to me. So, when we went outside on halloween, I was very grumpy, while my little sister was very happy. I was angry that she was happy, and that I was thing 2 and not thing 1. We were trick or treating at some houses when we were walking up this hill to this house that we had not been or seen before. It was very strange for me; the house was a very strange house, it had many floors, but it seemed as if it was barely standing. We knocked on the door. By the way, to clarify, our mom had stayed home as the cat in the hat and was the one giving the candy to the other kids and she was trying to be the cat in the hat for that reason. Anyways, back to the story. We had knocked on this strange house on top of the hill. There were no other houses at the top of this hill; it was just this one strange house by itself. There were no other trick or treaters to be found as well; it was just us; me and my sister. I had been getting a lot of candy, and so was my sister, so I was in a better mood, and it was also my favorite day of the year, so I had to make it count. Anyways, it was getting dark, and this was going to be the final house that we were going to do that night before heading home, as our mom wanted us to be home by midnight.
I opened up the door and I gasped. There was thing 2 in the flesh. There was thing 2, he was standing inside the strange house, and he was the one who had answered the door. There was no cat in the hat in sight, nor was there a thing 1 in sight. There was only thing 2. I was shocked, and I looked at my sister, who was also shocked. It was not a costume; it could not have been a costume. That was thing 2, in the flesh. That was thing 2, standing outside the weird house on the hill on halloween, and there i was with my sister, both of us being very shocked and screaming and crying and wailing at the sight. Thing 2 was real, and I was ready to believe anything at that moment. That santa was real, that the moon landing was a hoax, that santa was fake. Thing 2 looked at both of us, and both of us had tears in our eyes. Thing 2 beckoned us in and waved us into the house. The Thing 2 was the one that had been there all along. I had never wanted to be thing 2, but walking into thing 2’s house, I realized something that I did not know this whole time. Thing 2 was amazing too. Get it, because I used “2” twice in that sentence, but with different spellings and meanings. Anyways, I was always so angry that thing 2 was the one that nobody knew about, that I was the one that had to be the lame thing 2. BUt standing there in thing 2’s kitchen, i realized that thing 2 was the best one out of the lot. Better than thing 1, better than the children in the story, and even better than the cat in the hat, for some reason. Thing 2 was the one that made that halloween the best night of my life, and I could not imagine anyone else being thing 2 except for me
The tree is old. The tree in the woods is very very old. The tree has many things going on about it that people do not know about it. People do not know how old this tree is; many people think that the tree has been alive for many years, maybe even before the town was founded. The town was founded with the tree as the centre. THe people who founded the town decided that the tree was very beautiful, and that they wanted to have the tree as the town square centre. Now, years and decades later, the town is flourishing, even though it is a bit small, and the tree in the middle is the thing that people come to visit the town for.
It is an old tree; it is slightly crooked, and there are some small knot holes in the tree. There are no big leaves; in fact, there are no leaves at all in the big old tree; it is just made of the trunk and the branches. The tree is an emblem and symbol for the small town. There are many fires and storms and hurricanes and earthquakes and many horrible things that happen to the small town. However, the tree still stands strong, even through all the troubles that happened to it. That is part of why the small town loves it so much; it is a symbol for staying strong through the toughest times, which is how they got through things like famines and wars and other bad things that happened to the town.
One day, a little girl called Ava went to look at the tree. Ava had been living there for all her life, which was 6 years, but still, she did not really know that much about the tree, and she wanted to know some facts for herself. In the middle of the town square she ran, and it was noon, so the sun was at the top of the sky and burning the square down below. Ava looked at the tree; it was very big, and she could barely see the top of the tree, because she was so small and the tree was so big. One thing that she noticed about the tree were that there were some small scratches at the base of the tree, which she did not see before. She wondered where the small scratches on the big old tree came from. She touched the tree and gasped. The tree had moved under her touch! Then, she blinked and realized that she had just hallucinated that happening and that the tree was actually just standing there like it always was.
Ava is very happy standing under the tree. She feels a buzz and a hum under the tree, and even though she might be hallucinating the tree, she still feels very at ease with the tree. Ava is very happy standing under the tree, and she wants to always be under the tree. She feels that the tree is connected to her in some way.
Bob was very sad all the time. He is the main character of a story that many people like to read, but he himself realizes that he is not the person that they love the most. The readers of the book that Bob reads likes his best friend, Ava instead of him. Bob feels sad. He is the main character of the book, so technically people should like him the mos, correct? But that is not true. He thinks to himself. That is not true, because nobody likes me. He feels sad. He is supposed to be loved. He is the superhero of the city, but people like his sidekick more. He is very sad about that, and he thinks that he should be the one that people like. So, that is what caused him to go to Ava and her house one day to talk to her about this predicament.
Ava answers the door with a smile on her face, and she leads Bob into her house. She is very happy that Bob had decided to visited, and Bob was still very happy to see Ava, even though people liked Ava more than they did him. Anyways, Bob was very happy to see Ava, and he was also very happy to see her cat, which was very cute. He liked seeing Ava’s cat, because the cat always made him feel better. Anyways, he talked to Ava about his struggles and his worries about nobody liking him. He always felt like a loner and a loser, and that was very bad for him as the main character.
Anyways, Ava decides to comfort Bob. She tells Bob that just because they like her does not mean that they can’t not like him either. She shows proof of comments sharing how much they love Bob. Bob is touched. He spent so much time focusing on Ava that he forgot to focus on himself. He smiles, he did amazing. He has learned a valuable and important lesson; he is enough, and he will always be enough for all. He smiles and pets Ava’s cat.
There is a cat and there is a rat and there is a bat and the three animals are all playing together in the park. In the park there is a pond, and in the pond there is a duck. The duck is always very lonely, because the duck has nobody to play with, so the duck is always super sad. As a result, the cat and the bat and the dog and the rat, yes the dog joined the group, decided that they were going to cheer up the duck, as the duck did not have any animals to play with him. The cat decided that she was going to give the duck a present, and she picked out a rubber band for the duck to have. As a result, the cat was very happy, as she liked giving presents to other animals, and it was a great thing for her to do all around. The duck saw the rubber band that the cat gave to her, and he was very happy that he had got a present. Overjoyed, the duck said thank you to the cat, and the cat smiled in response. The two animals had bonded over this, and they were doing amazing together.
A cat in the hat was holding a bat. ANd before you ask me, no, it was not the actual cat in the hat. It was just a random cat wearing a random hat. It was not the actual cat in the hat, otherwise that would be very crazy. ALso, I already wrote about the actual cat in the hat today, so if you want to read about the cat in the hat there, you can read that story. ANyways, back to this story. This cat was an orange cat, and it was wearing a red hat. The red hat was very small and it could barely be seen in the big hat’s head, but it was still there. The red hat had been with the orange cat for many years now, the orange cat could not go anywhere without not wearing the small red hat, because it had been a big part of the orange cat’s childhood. The red hat was there for the cat when the cat was sad, when the cat was happy, and when the cat was grumpy. The red hat was there for the orange cat when no other cat was, and that was very good for the cat to have someone to talk to in its spare time. The truth was, the red hat could talk to the orange cat. NO other cats could talk to the small red hat, so the other cats thought that the orange cat was lying and crazy and the other cats did not want to talk to the orange cat. The orange cat did not care; she had a red hat, and that is all that mattered. The orange cat always wore the red hat wherever she went. If the red hat was nowhere to be found, the orange cat would not go anywhere until she had found the red hat. The red hat was the lifeline for the orange cat; if the red hat was not present, the orange cat would not be present as well. Anyways, one thing to mention was that the cat lived in the wild. There was no owner. It was a street cat, and it had to fight everyday to get food and water. The orange cat constantly had to be scared of other cats and dogs attacking her, so she had to constantly try her best to avoid them and try to get food. She usually got food by sneaking in the night, so the other cats and dogs could not see her. The red hat was always there for the big orange cat, and when the orange cat was scared, the red hat would be there to help comfort her. The red hat sometimes also told the big orange cat where the food was. One time, the red hat told the orange cat what he had overheard. He had overheard that there was some food by the pond nearby. The orange cat had never thought of going to the small pond nearby before, as the orange cat was very scared of water. WHen the big orange cat was a small kitten, it once almost drowned, and ever since then, she had been very scared of the water and drowning, so this was a very scary thing for the cat to know. However, the orange cat had not eaten in many days and was very very hungry and was willing to do anything to get food. So, she faced her fear and walked over to the nearby pond. The red hat was right; there was some dead fish at the bottom of the pond. She could see where the dead fish were because for some reason the water was very see through, and the fish could easily be seen. Then, after some thinking, the cat decided that she was going to jump to the bottom of the pond. The cat was very scared because jumping to the bottom of the pond meant that she had to swim through water, and she had not swam in water for many years. However, her growling tummy told her that she desperately needed to get to the fish and be full, so she decided that she was going to do it. Jumping in the water in the dead of night, the water was very cold. The cat was very scared and held her breath as she pushed and tried swimming down with her paws. However, some problems arose. She realized that the water was way too cold for her, and she was already shivering after being in the water for a few seconds. However, the orange cat was so close to the dead fish at the bottom of the pond in the small park, so she decided that she was going to go on. She wanted to get the fish and stop her fear of water. So the cat kept swimming and pushing on, while the red hat on her head was cheering her on. After a few minutes of swimming, the orange cat reached the bottom of the pond. Looking up at the sky, she saw that the pond was a lot bigger than she initially thought it would be. The orange cat and the red hat grabbed the dead fish in her hands, happy that she had secured some food and that the orange cat was not going to be hungry anymore and have something to eat. The cat grabbed the fish in her hands and started swimming up, and then realized something. She could not paddle up because she was holding the fish in her paws. This was a big trouble, as she needed the fish to fill her hunger but she also needed to swim up, otherwise she was going to drown, just like she did all those years ago. So, she was very sad and did not know what to do. However, just before she was going to give up and swim up, the red hat said that there was a solution. The red hat could store the dead fish in itself and then be worn by the orange cat, and then the orange cat could still manage to swim up with its paws, while holding the food which was under the red hat. The orange cat could not believe it; there was still a chance for her and the red hat to solve the problem. She was very happy and eagerly did what the red hat wanted her to do. She grabbed the dead fish and put her in the red hat. Then, she wore the hat and started swimming upwards into the land with her free paws. The cat was very very happy and she was very energized as she continued swimming upwards. The thought of freedom from the small pond and freedom from the hunger that had plagued her for so long was fueling her as she paddled upwards. Finally, after a few big strokes, the cat was almost there at the top. However, she noticed that she was quickly running out of breath, and there were still a few more strokes to go. The cat was very nervous and thought that she might run out of breath and drown, like she had almost did so many years ago. She started having a lot of bad thoughts about dying, and not being able to eat, and how she was so close yet so far. However, the red hat was still there to comfort her. The red hat said that she could do it, that she was so close, and that she could do it and save them both. The words of the red hat were very inspiring to the orange cat at that time. The words were what fueled her all those years ago, when nobody believed her and bullied her instead. So the orange cat kept swimming. She believed that she could do it. She believed that she could, when nobody else except the red hat believed in her. She breathed in the water a little bit more (she was a cat that had magic abilities, so in reality she actually could breathe in water for a long time. this was why she spent a few minutes already under the pond. The fact that she was running out of breath was added by the author to create more tension in the story and add a climax to the story. Please don’t thank me, I already know how awesome I am). The orange cat continued swimming up, and she could see the surface almost there. Her head was almost running out of air and she was struggling with the weight of her body, as well as the weight of the small hat (it looked small but actually it weighed a lot more than she thought), as well as the weight of the dead fish. Also, the mental weight of her hunger and her desperation and low self-esteem was also weighing her down, so there was that too. The cat kept going, however, and after a few seconds, she made it! Woohoo! The red hat cheered the big orange cat on, and they were both very happy. The cat had got over her fear of water and drowning, she had also got food to eat, and both the red hat and the big orange cat were safe and alive. And, they had food to eat! The cat swam to the land and laid her fish there. Then, she ate all the fish in a few bites, and was very full and happy. Today had been a great day for her and the red hat. Also, the part at the end made her feel rejuvenated; she felt that she could do anything. Even when so many things were weighing down on her, both mentally and physically, she had did it in the end. That was amazing; the two creatures were both an amazing pair! Now, to get to the real story. Just kidding, that was the real story. But, to get back to the first line, it said that she was holding a bat - i still need to explain what it means by that. Once she left the pond and went back, there was a bat in her shelter place. And, it was not a baseball bat, no. It was an actual bat. Like, a flying mammal bat. It had turned out that the bat also needed a place to stay, and saw that there was a free space there, not knowing that the orange cat and the red hat were staying there. The cat was very happy to find a new friend, and the bat was very happy too. That was how the cat and the bat met. It was a happy ending, and the orange cat and the bat and the red hat all slept happily ever after. The end!
The Festival was magical. Creatures from all around the realm came to visit the Festival, and there were vendors selling products that had names nobody could pronounce. Cedar wore a cloak navigated through the busy streets, in search of something specific – a procrastination potion. His yellow eyes scanned the numerous stands. Someone bumped into Cedar, pushing him to a nearby stall. A small gnome was shouting, “Travelers, try this free sample!” She locked eyes on Cedar, then shoved a plate off a mysterious bread roll into his face. “Take it, you won't regret it,” she said. Cedar had no choice but to accept, and he took a piece. Holding the roll under his nose, a pungent odor radiated from it. “Here goes nothing,” he thinks, eyes closed, and takes a bite of the roll. He opens his eyes and gasps.
These are the last 80 words that I need to write tonight to reach 5000 words written for cabin wars. Isn’t that crazy? It has been a wild ride, and I cannot believe that I was able to write so much today. I wasn’t really active in the first cabin wars, so I’m glad I was able to help this time, even though I didn’t have to! Being a mercenary was so fun, and I liked writing a lot! Goodbye!
Last edited by CleverComment (July 27, 2025 14:13:47)
- CleverComment
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
The sun blends nicely with the clouds. It is a water landscape, with the “thirds” rule being applied in this photo. The clouds are very beautiful, and they are covering the whole sky with their various forms. There is this big patch of dark clouds in the middle of the screen, and they are part of the main focus of the photo. Additionally, the sun is at the top left of the screen. You can’t see it, of course, otherwise you would be blinded. But you can still see the radiant white circle at that part and the sun is very beautiful and adding to the scenery of the clouds. At the bottom of the screen is a short barrier, as the photo was taken on a bridge, and the barrier is needed otherwise the passerby would slip and fall into the river. The river actually connects to the sea, and there are bushes of water plants in the photo. If you look closely far away, you can see the pier, with its small boats in the distance. Overall, the photo balances the sea, the sky, and the sun well, and it is beautiful. The writer desperately needs a few more words, and the opportunity presents itself well. The seascape comes to life; the boats are traveling through the river. The sun is gleaming and showing the beauty of the river and the sea nearby. The clouds are the main focus of this photo. The clouds have so much to do with the beauty of nature; there are so many variations, whether they are thick or thin. In this photo, there is a variety of all the clouds. They blend well in the sky, it’s almost as if the real sea is the sea of clouds at the top of the picture, not the sea at the bottom. In the end, it is a good blend of land and sea and sky, and it is amazing.
Last edited by CleverComment (July 28, 2025 14:35:11)
- CleverComment
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
Belly stares at the vast blue expanse above her. Hair blown by the salty wind, bare feet in sand, she walks by Cousin’s Beach. Waves lap by the shore, and the whistle of a distant seabird travels through the air.
This summer has been rough. Belly thinks, as she kicks a rock. The love triangle with the Fisher boys had left her exhausted and exhilarated. At the time, she didn’t know how to pick; a future with Conrad, or a future with Jeremiah.
She reaches into her pockets (she’s wearing a dress, but this one conveniently has pockets) and pulls out a necklace. It wasn’t just any necklace, it was the infinity necklace that Connie had given her. He had thought that their love was going to last forever, but for Belly, if she was being honest, she legit could not remember how he looked after a few months. Sure, he had been emotionally unavailable for a few months, and he hadn’t said anything about his own feelings for a few years, but she had still loved him. Conrad was the one for her.
However, there’s something else in her pockets. Her hands pull out something small, and Belly has to squint her eyes to see what it is. She holds her hand right below her eyes, and pulls out a magnifying glass out of her other pocket (she had a lot of things in her pockets for this moment). “Oh, it’s Jere’s engagement ring,” she says. Belly could barely see it, but it reminded her of all the times Jeremiah had been there for her (once, I think?). Also, every time she saw him, his literal cyan eyes had immobilized her. Sure, he had cheated on her twice and proposed to her the next day, but she had still loved him. Jeremiah was the one for her.
Belly places the magnifying glass back in her pocket, her other hand holding the necklace and the ring. Then, out of the blue, she holds her hand back and tosses them into the rippling waves, until they’re gone. Shoot, I shouldn’t have done that. Those cost like thousands of dollars. Belly rushes out into the ocean, ducking down and scrambling to find the jewelry in the muddy sand. But, like the wind, it was gone. “MY DIAMOND EARRING!” She screams, and then she hears an echo. “Kim, there are people dying.”
She furrows her brow. Who had said that? Anyways, she gives up, just like she gave up on school. Belly looks around Cousin’s Beach, through the swaying grasses. Years ago, she met Conrad and Jeremiah here for the first time. She had spent her entire childhood with them; it was like they were her cousins (spoiler alert, they were). Now, she is grown, and she is standing here at the beach for the last time.
The sun is beginning to set, rays shimmering in the golden sky. (She had been there for a few hours). Wind whistling through her hair, Belly starts walking deeper into the water. Standing in the water which she was raised in, she feels something she hadn’t felt in years… she feels like herself. With the crashing waves, Belly knows something, deep in her heart.
In the end, it isn’t about Conrad or Jeremiah. It isn’t about the Fisher boys. It is about herself. And so, on the last day of summer, the last summer she would spend at Cousin’s Beach, Belly chooses herself. The ending that mattered, the ending that was coming all along. She lets the Fisher boys go away with the waves (even though she lowkey ruined their family forever, but she was going to pretend that didn’t happen).
Belly smiles at herself, and starts walking away from the beach, each footstep carrying its own meaning. Finally, she looks behind her. Cousin’s Beach, her childhood, her friendships, her love, is right in front of her, in all its golden glory. She turns around, smiling, and walks into the distance, credits rolling.
I choose summer.
author's note:
I HAVE NEVER SEEN NOR READ THIS SHOW. ALSO PLEASE TELL ME YOU UNDERSTOOD THE KIM KARDASHIAN REFERENCE
Last edited by CleverComment (July 26, 2025 22:59:33)
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Scratcher
500+ posts
Clev's SWC Writing Thread (2025)
Steven is lonely. A recent college grad living in New York City, he yearns for a new life – a life where he has someone to hold hands with, to laugh with.
But is what he wants truly what he needs? Steven can't really tell…
Last edited by CleverComment (July 28, 2025 22:49:23)
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