Hi and welcome to my Writing Forum! <3
This is where all of my non SWC related writing will go. Things like short stories, Poems and things for friends or other camps.
Please do not repost my writing anywhere else or claim credit for it, you will be reported.
As this is my personal thread, I ask that you do not post anything here and instead redirect anything to my profile or another thread <3
Thank you
- Livy

In the process of being written - last edited hehe
2824 words approx
Third Draft

The Work With No Name (I Can’t Feel The Way I Did Before)



Not yet my children :>
patience

Written 4 June 2023
170 words
Final copy

Ocean of Stars

You lay on the ship's deck, reaching for the stars.
The sky filled with stars, each a symbol of your love. Every edge of my vision a glimmering speck. You reached for the stars, and so did I.

The sea lay still, the greatest looking glass of them all.
Showing it’s love for me by multiplying your stars, multiplying you. Every fish swimming past, a symbol of my love. I reached for the water, and so did you.

I fell, you flew.

I sank, down with the fish and the whales.
You soared, with the birds and the dragons.

The stars faded.
I looked upon a sky of nothing, nothing but a speck. You, flying to your stars. Your stars gone from my view like your love.

The ocean faded.
You looked around a sky of stars, flying the only direction you knew. Up. Up, to your stars, away from me. And my ocean disappeared, gone from your view like my love.

I fell, and you flew.
- Livy

Written 4 June 23
129 words
Final Copy

Roses

Mother tended those roses.
She told me love is beautiful, kind and to throw myself in headfirst.

Father showed me their thorns.
He told me love could be dangerous, deadly, and to keep away from it.

I believed.
I got sick, lovesick.

Mother tended those roses.
She told me love was pure, innocent.

Father showed me their thorns.
He told me love was poisonous, deceitful.

I believed.
I loved those roses.

That was before.
I hate those roses.

My heart shattered.
My soul broke.

Mother was gone.
Father was gone.

The roses lived on.
I did not.

Mother tended those roses.
She told me love was gracious, gentle.

Father showed me their thorns.
He told me love was arrogant, spiteful.

Those roses lived on.
We did not.

- Livy

Written 22 June 23
622 words
Final Copy

Tane Mahuta

I am King.
King of the forest.
Lord of this land, and you will bow to my might.
I am old, wise, and knowledgeable. I have seen things, witnessed things and been the cause of them. You think you are brave and clever? You are not. You are nothing but a pawn. I am Tane Mahuta. My branches shelter you, my knowledge feeds you. I have the voice of a god and I have the wisdom the birds bring from faraway lands. You will bow to my might.

A small human poses below me, staring at my mottled bark. They stand, seeming to listen to my words, their little mop of hair fluttering around in the wind, their face filled with awe, and their eyes large with astonishment.
This one seems to be listening. I will tell them my story.

I remember Mother clearly, tall, imposing, and ancient. She would tell us stories that filled mine and my siblings' hearts with warmth, hope and fear. Mother gave me life, she sent us down to earth from her impossibly high branches. She was gifted the ancient whisperings of the gods, along with the gossip of the birds. She lived an ordinary life; nothing special. But me, no, I wanted to live a great life. A life of adventure and thrills. I wanted to be a legend.

Then one day, Mother was gone. The sound of chainsaws drowned out her soft whisperings and the birds that roosted in her ancient branches fled the hate that the humans were burning into her. Slowly, all of her magic followed the path of the birds, fleeing her ancient timber till she was simply a shadow of what she once was. Then, she fell.

Resurfacing from that memory sent birds scattering through my branches, as though they remembered Mother and her magic. Sticky golden tears ran down my trunk, staining my mottled bark. The hole within my heart seemed to grow deeper and larger, pulling my happiness out of reach, till there was nothing I could draw on. The human’s face glistened with tears, their eyes filled with a deep understanding.

I don’t know why I was spared, maybe I was too young, maybe the humans didn’t want me or maybe they were simply content with whatever mother provided them. They didn’t come back. So I was able to live in peace. Years passed, and life was quiet.
But the quiet did not last. The humans began to come. They came to admire my strength, my wisdom, my life. They did not beg forgiveness. They had forgotten what had happened. What had happened to my family, to my friends, to my happiness. They had forgotten what had happened to the flourishing fauna, to the hope and magic that had filled this very spot with the secrets of life. But I have not forgotten. I will never forget.

The humans kill all forms of life, including each other. They have disrupted life cycles and felled my family, my friends. The community that had once flourished, now gone, along with my happiness. They have not been forgiven. They will never be forgiven. But I do not seek revenge.

I will stay at peace for the lives I now support. I will preserve my memories. I will protect this community. I will be a monument of history. I will be king. A king worthy of this recognition that I have been graced with. I will be king of the forest.

The human stepped forward, touching my bark gently. It stared up at my interlocking branches, the young birds, the life I held. And they bowed. They bowed to my might, my knowledge and my memories. They bowed to me.

- Livy

Written - 15 Nov 23
111 words
Final Copy

The sun rose

The sun rose
Spilling its golden glow across beautiful houses
Bathing the streets in light
The perfectness from this scence comes from the imperfect picture
The dirty cobblestones
The laughing children running past a fountain
The peeling paint on houses
The pure joy coming from this city of light

The sun set

The sun rose
Cautiously
Carefully
Realising the change in the air
The absence of light made each shadow a silhouette
The dirty cobblestones now covered in blood
The fountain reduced to rubble
The children…
Gone
Everything
Gone.
Replaced with the scars of war
Scars that will not heal

They are war
Not enemies
Victims

The sun set

- Livy

Written - 24 Aug 24
Written for SLAM Poetry
552 words
Final Copy

The Storm

There is a girl.
Somewhere in this world.
With a mind, full of rain.
It started as a small drizzle, a comforting pit-a-pat on the road.
Its too much for her now, an angry storm about to explode.
But before it was a storm.
It was a reason to laugh. To show joy, To smile and breathe and live.
The rain was unassuming, soothing. It dulled the anger, the pain, the sorrow, that was all part of life.
She loved the rain.


But the rain got tougher.
The rain became rougher.
It started to hurt her, to blur her thoughts, dull her smile.
That bright spark she ever so carefully nurtured disappeared from her eyes, buried beneath the flood waters.
She continues, like she’s entertaining.
Like life is going amazing.
But she’s fading.
The rain blocks happiness, it blocks sadness, it blocks anger, it blocks everything.
She can’t feel anything.
She’s cold. Tolled. Controlled.
Even with the rain around her, an angry symphony, she can’t hear it.
People think she's okay.
She puts on a smile like it's her birthday.
Puts a mask on like it's a sunny day.
She's not okay though.
And people can’t bear to see underneath that mask.
They refuse to.
They refuse to see her pain.
They refuse to see her struggle.
Because it doesn’t fit in their view of her.
The happy girl, sad.
It doesn’t fit with how they see the world.


They see the world through heroes.
Stories of wonder and thunder.
And the girl reads about her heroes in books, watches them in movies.
And she wonders why can’t she be like them?
They’re so Courageous. Gracious Vivacious. Advantageous. Ostentatious.
Their stories are full of loss, pain but also strength.
And so is hers.
But the girl doesn’t know that.
She wonders what validates her struggle?
What validates the way she feels every day?
Nothing.
So why is the rain so spate?
Why is it burying her under all that weight?
Why, why, why.

She’s depressed.
But the girl doesn’t know that.
She wonders what's wrong with her.
The rain is so sublime.
It's so much all the time.
But one day, with help that rain will decline.
But with help.
And how are you willing to help her?
Send her to therapy. Send her to a mental hospital.
She’s not crazy.
She’s fighting a storm everyday.
She needs compassion.
Action.
Attraction.
The girl is not someone to be pitied.
She is a fighter. She is strong. Like those heroes.

Somewhere in the world.
There is a girl.
With a mind that is healing.
A storm that is receding.
With hope that is in believing.

The girl understands now.
She understands the rain.
She understands the terrain.
She understands her brain.
The girl knows.
And she remembers to breathe.
She fights the flood. Swims the waters.
Realises she is brave. Strong. Courageous
Her knight in shining armour; is herself.

She still loves the rain.
But she loves the sun more.
She still has those rainy days.
But the sun shines more.
She is beautiful. She is immutable. She is inscrutable. She is irrefutable.
And she is a girl with memories.
Of that wild storm.
Of that fateful time.
Of that long, hard battle.
And she is happy.
Somewhere in the world.

- Livy

Written 30 Nov 24 - in the process of being written, not main piece at the moment
219 words
first part of unfinished poem - might finish it
NOT FORMATTED PROPERLY


The Night We Met


All Of You

Wandering down the path
Alone

He watches the birds fly past
Calls like cries
Flock

They appear beneath the canopy
Sad eyes, soft smile
He runs to them
Trips
Falls

He looks up
They’re gone

No
No
No
No
No
No

They’re Gone

Knees on the ground
Head in hands
Mind in pain
NO
They’re holding his hand
Laughing
Alive

No
They’re gone

They’re here

What

Alive

…Dead…

They sit in the light
Hands on the wheel
Road ahead

How did we get here?
He wasn’t meant to be here
Not again

Darkness ahead
Nothing
Endless

Then

Lights
Colours
Silence

That's the thing about it
Silence is scariest
Isn’t it

Yes
Isn’t it


Water on their head
Tears?

Blood

No
He can’t be here again
He can’t lose them again
Not again
Again
Again
Again

It never changes

Their tears
Their hands brushing his face
Their whispered promises

He has water on his head
Wasn’t it them

It should have been him
They disappear
Hands gone
They’re gone

He can’t breathe
Water in his mouth
His throat

He’s drowning

Better him than them



It wasn’t him

It was them
It was always them
It would always be them

Why?
Please.
Choose him

WHY?
Water on his face.
Tears

Their heart fluttered
Weak
Alive
It stopped
Dead

- Livy

Written 5 March 25
835 words
Originally written for the world building weekly, this is that part, although I have extended it to a longer story

Trigger Warnings!!! - Implications to death, harm and mind/body control (magic)


Yours - Conan Gray

Avis -

I looked out my window, heart hurt and yearning for something more than this life.
This life that my ancestors paid me into.
The life they paid themselves into, not seeing the consequence of making that deal.

That deal is the reason we all live in pain. We should have died all those years ago.
Only Obitus’s sacrifice is the reason we all live.
Maybe vanishing into the sandy dunes would have been better for us.
All of us.
Everyone.

It certainly would have meant that I would not be staring at the floor, the long drop to where I needed to be.
The drop I would probably not survive.

But alas, when you are compelled into service, you must take the jump all the same.
And so I jumped.


That day I lost my leg and my left eye.
One from impact, the other as a consequence of my stupidity. For jumping.
Not fair, but it happened all the same.
And worst of all they made Tellia watch.
I still remember the horror in her eyes as I screamed silently, not allowed to make a sound.
Her shouts and His cackles as the pain made it all disappear.
Sometimes I wish the impact had killed me.

They kept me in service, of course they did. Why lose a Human with a healthy fear of you already? They would still do everything you said.
I am still required to do everything they say, everything they ask of me.


Why am I telling you this?
Well I can’t help but wonder what you’d think of my fate, and what you’d think of my story. If you’d provide a little more kindness to a human you might see.
And if it would change your fate?


Friele -

Avis, you must understand that it is not my place to go against Nature's wishes.
I am sorry for all that has happened to you, but I cannot do anything about it.

You are right of the path I am headed though. I am not aware of how you found out, or how you discovered the truth barely two people know.
But I ask that you do not tell anyone.
I put you into service with those words.

That may seem cruel, with what you told me.
And it is. I will not deny that.
But I am not going to let that secret get out.
Ever.

Only Mother Nature can release your oath. And you took it the day Obitus died. As did your descendents and as did your ancestors.
You will never be free of me, but I will do what I can to protect you from Him.
I do not wish for that to happen again.
I hope it does not happen ever again.
The day it happens is the day I follow your path.

Friele


Avis -

Friele, why are you telling me what I already know?
I know you can't change my past.
I know you can’t protect me. Please don’t make empty promises.

The purpose of my letter was not a cry for help.
I stopped crying that day.
When the only person who would help me, could not.
I stopped crying the day my eye was lost. That was the day I lost my heart.

It was a warning to you of everything that could happen. I know you’re an Elf, and it’s not your place to dabble in the matters of Humans, least of all those who are serving others.

I hope you understand the truth now.


Friele -

Avis, I apologise for not understanding what your letter was truly about. I understood, but I did not want to admit it.
That would make it real.

And despite what you say, I don’t think you’ve lost your heart. You would not have reached out if you did not have a heart.
Perhaps you are missing a soul.
Maybe Nature took it with your freedom.

But maybe I have your heart, as you have mine.
Perhaps I may keep it?

Friele


Avis -

Friele, darling, you have had my heart for so long I've lost count. But you and I both know we can’t do this.
This is a risk. A jump.
A drop.

And not a fall I’m willing to take.
Never again.


Friele -

I’m sorry. I want you to know, despite it all. I will still love you.
You will always have my heart.

I do not want it back, I want never to feel the pain of heartbreak. So please do not give it back, unless you come with it.

Friele


Avis -

I will keep it then, for you.
Till the day I die.
And all the days after.
Even when Nature has finally released my soul.
Even when you never release my heart.
Even when my bones decay to dirt, to sport flowers. To give life.
Every day when I’m gone.

Goodbye.
Promise me you will not walk the path.


Friele -

I cannot make a promise I won’t keep.
Goodbye my love.

Friele


- Livy <3

340 words
International women's day letter for Alana

Daily 8 -

Dear Alana!!

Happy International women's day! (although it was yesterday for me xD) I’ve chosen you as the receiver of this letter because you are someone I look up to a lot in SWC and in my general life. You’re kind and such a lovely person to be around, I love to talk to you and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you better since the first KUWTS episode. Honestly, before then, you were someone unreachable, unapproachable. But now I’ve gotten to know you, you feel so much more real, and I am forever glad I reached out to you.
You’re such a fun, silly bean to be around, and I love seeing the chaos you cause while bombing your cabin.

I look up to you with your kindness to everyone. Your friendliness and patience with everyone who approaches you. Your amazing writing and skill sets. Your personality and your silliness. Everything about you is what makes you my role model.
I admire your ability to keep everything on track and I admire your commitment to everything you apply yourself to. You have taught me so much without knowing, and you’ve taught me that I don’t have to have such high walls to be a good person. You’ve taught me that I can be me in this community.

You’re a kind soul, one I am so glad I got to know. You’re an amazing person, one I am so proud to say I know. You’re a role model, at least to me. Thank you.

Thank you so much for all of our conversations. Thank you so much for showing me who I can be. Thank you for being a sun in my life, someone who shows me that there's always a little bit of light. Thank you so much for being you. You, as someone I can look up to and someone I can see as a friend. Thank you for coming into my life when I needed someone like you.
Thank you, and happy international women's day <3

Livy <3

140 words
Written for an unofficial word war

Tortured Poet


The poet reached out their hand for the freedom. That lay just out of reach.
To far, some may argue.
But the poet reached out nonetheless.
It was in the blood of the poet to reach out.
It is what makes a poet.
What curses them with their beautiful words.
Their soft tales.
The fact they alway reach out.
Day after day.
Year after year.
They reached for something nobody can see.
Some doubt even the poet can see it.
But they can feel it.
So they reach out.
Always stretching their hands.
Falling, getting up. And reaching again.
One day, the poet will grasp it.
One day the poet will see.
ONe day the poet will feel so much that they cannot contain.

That is when they become our tortured poets.
Tortured with the words they cannot share.


- Livy <3

561 words
Written for the sleep daily SWC

Step

The lights flashed in my eyes, blinding me with each step I took. Yet I kept walking. I always kept walking.
Every single time I did this, I had to keep walking.
Step after step after step on the red laid out beneath me. Again, again, again. Every time.
Step after step.

Every step leads me further and further into this life. Further into these lies. Yet I know I cannot turn back. I can never turn back.
If I turn back. They will whisper, they will talk.
They will lie.

And those I love will hear those lies.
I don’t want them to hear those lies. And so I walk. I take step after step, but not for what I love. For what they make me do.

Their voices are thrown at me, flashes of a sentence fighting to reign over the others that they are speaking.
I wonder if it is worth stopping to answer their questions. If it’s worth stopping and risking the fall.
But I know I can’t stop walking.
And so I continue, past their words and their shouts.

I continue till I have to stop. I talk, I hug, and I chat with everyone that approaches me. Continuing to take tiny steps each second, dancing on my toes.

That is my true passion, dancing. I want to make each step I take part of a beautiful dance, not this life I’ve been submitted to.
I want to step onto a stage.
The lights blinding me not because of cameras, but because of illumination for my dreams.
I want people to clap, not for a conference or speech, but for my skill and love and passion.

I want to follow my dreams, but alas, I cannot. I am not allowed to follow those dreams.
I must submit myself to this life of pain and prejudice.

But in secret, I dance. I dance in my room, spinning and jumping to the music.
I dance on the streets, taught by groups of children and people following traditions.
I dance because I love to.

I do not love the life I am in at the moment. I am stuck in here because of their opinions.
And I will get out, by taking one step after another.

The day was almost over.
The lights were becoming brighter as the night descended upon the open air venue.
The crowds were becoming thicker.
The voices were becoming louder.
Everything was becoming more.

I had almost had enough. They all approached me, asking, prodding, poking. It was all so much. Too much.
My feet tapped as they stopped me from stepping. Always in the way. Getting in my face to ask me meaningless questions I did not know the answer to. Every time one of these happened they stopped me. I wanted to keep walking. I wanted to dance.
Dance in the rain.
Dance in the sun.
Dance in the night.
Dance through it all.

Then the music started.
And my bones are filled with longing, necessity.
I needed to do it.
I needed to dance.
I pushed past them, they couldn’t stop me from walking. Why should they have the right to stop the rhythm of my steps?

I stood underneath the lights.
Not on the carpet, but on a stage.
My heart is whole. Happy.
I stepped. And I never stopped.

- Livy

455 words
Written for the constellation daily of SWC

Cygnus

The swan sails across the sky, each beat of its wing a shooting star, each dip and swerve a story of life.
Glowing white in the emptiness of the night, the swan cries.
It sobs and wails, wishing to be with the crows, alive on the soil. Breathing and flying and loving.
Wishing to be alive.

The crows hear its cries, they remember when she was alive.
They remember her beauty.
They remember her love, her kindness, her strength.
Crows remember everything.

The swan remembers the beauty of the crows. Their soft feathers they sacrificed for her. Their melodic voices that they gave up to save her soul. Their kindness.
It longs to see them. But it cannot.
It will not.
Because it was cursed to lay in the stars, forever in flight. Stuck in a moment it wishes not to live in.

Each time a star in the constellation shines, it is the swan's tear traversing its face.
Its sadness is endless, yet it watches the world with nothing but love.
Love for the crows.
Love for the soil.
Love for each thing that crosses the ground it laid.

The ground it laid on the day it was hurt.
It lay, hurting and weak. Till the crows found her.
They protected her.
Breathed life back into her bones.
Bleached the colors from their feathers for her.
Gave their voices up to her surviving soul.

But it was not enough.

She faded, lost the fight that same night. But her soul kept their kindness, the life of their own they gave to her.
They gave enough of their life for her to continue to live in the skies.
Yet the crows feathers will be forever stained black, from the horror they witnessed. From the cost they paid. From the loss of their love.
The beautiful, pure swan, that died in their care.

The swan flies the sky now.
Each feather, now a star.
Each tear, now a trail, flowing through the sky as a forgotten relic.
Her eyes, now the eyes of the crow, will see all.

Eventually, Cygnus will forget her tale.
Eventually, she will break up and dissipate.
Eventually, she will become no more than a story on the tongues of crows.
Crows never forget, even if the Swan will.
The crows will not forget the one who gave them their black feathers. They will not forget the one who gave them their love of shine and sparkles with the beauty of her stars. They will not forget, not even after she’s gone.
They will not forget.
And maybe one day, they will join her. And together, they will fly the skies in their lonely journey.
Together, forever.
Forever.
Till the crow forgets.

- Livy

1202 words
Written as a symbol of my grief and a way for me to begin to understand my mind (I'm still stuck in poetry vibe xD)
rough first draft!!! Draft 1 - last edited 20 March 25
no definite title yet
TW - sad, grief, heavy topics of grief, and implied depression, hopelessness

…

I long to run into the arms of those who broke me
I ache to be taken back to that simple pain
But alas
The angels do not answer

Tell me
Is there a god?

Tell me?
Why do they not answer?

Tell me
As you claim to hold the answers in the palm of your hand

Tell me
My god

My god
You do not tell me

I am born of flame and fury
I am a raging god of my own

I hate to be doused
But returning to their arms simplify me
Their cold embrace comes back with pain

They hug me
I do not resist
How could I?

When they are all I have called out for
When they are all I have longed to reach

Lay me to rest
Her whispers poison my ears
She is not asking me
She is asking me

Who is she?

When did my scared hands reach for the blade? When I asked her why she did not say.

Warmth
Bones
Madness
Blind

I am blind
My eyes cannot see
I scream

Scream

Scream

Scream

Scream

Screaming for someone to hear me.
They never hear me.

Why not?
Do they ignore me?

Is it me?
My angels tell me why.

They hug me
I feel the warmth in my bones
They are holding me up
The structure of my home
The home that holds me soul

It protects me
And it hates me

I scream

They say I am mad
Who says I am not

I am mad
All poets are
We all reach for the intangible being that we have to

I, the poet reach out my hand for the freedom
Just out of reach.
Too far, some may argue.
But the poet, I reach out nonetheless.
It is in my blood
The blood of the poet to reach out.
It is what makes a poet.
What curses them with their beautiful words.
Their soft tales.
The fact they alway reach out.
Day after day.
Year after year.
They reached for something nobody could see.
I reach for something nobody can see
Some doubt even the poet can see it.
I cannot
But they can feel it.
So we reach out.
Always stretching their hands.
Falling, getting up. And reaching again.
One day, the poet will grasp it.
One day the poet will see.
One day the poet will feel so much that they cannot contain.

That is when they become our tortured poets.
Tortured with the words they cannot share.

The poet reaches every day.
And then when they have reached it, they often wonder what they reached out for.
They are filled with so much emotion, so many words.
The words of the lost souls.
But they cannot translate these words.
So they are left to cry and swim in their own minds.
Trying to capture the beauty the voices feed them.
Failing every time.

They are tortured because the voices continue.
And they do not tell the poet how to write the words.
How to share their souls into the world.

And then the poet becomes one of them.
It becomes a lost soul speaking in a foreign tongue to another tortured poet who cannot express the words he could not express.
The cycle continues.

And every poet reaches out, because it is in their blood to fall. And to get back up again.
It is in their blood to reach and reach and reach for what they desire.
It is in their blood to try to write their soul onto paper.
To share their words.
To spill their blood onto the paper they lay upon and hope it releases the souls free.

Their blood is their words.
It is always, will always be their words.

It is their curse.
As a poet.
They are cursed to hold the age old bones of someone long gone.
And to try to share their soul.

To reach out over the cliff in the hopes that someone will listen.

I reach out over the cliff
And only my angels answer

They whisper words of madness in my ears
Drag me to the cold
Warm?
Ground

Were I lay
Hunted by poison truths

Did I reach for them?

My god, stop this
I beg you.
I beg you.

I scream.


Screaming not enough
Screaming will never be enough

They don’t listen
The only ones that listen to the cries of madness
Are those who are also mad

Am I one of them?
Or will they follow in the footsteps of others

I long for the embrace of Nature to hold me
But alas
I do not submit

If I give in to her beautiful warmth
Give in to the flame
Reach further than I can

I will fall
Fall not to the ground, as I’ve done so many times

But fall to fly

And I will join the smoke of the flames
My bones
My structure will become but a part of the stars
I will see
But I will be lost


Your loss does not define you
Then how do I live with this piece of me gone
How do I live with this pain
This hole inside me nothing could ever fill

There is a little tear in my soul
A little crack in my structure
Some pain tangled with this grief
Grief
A simple word to define something so heavy

My angels must surely hate me
My God
Why else would they do this?

I do not have a god
I dwell in this half state
Cracks in my bones
Splinters in my soul
The angels of demons whispering in my ears

The flame I long to lend myself to
The smoke I long to join as my ashes are charred
Left to nature's embrace

Is it time for me to touch it?
Time for me to finally reach out?
To fall over the cliff yet again?
Perhaps not to get up
To lie trapped beneath the weight of my home crashing down around me
To lie there even as the flame dies out
As I am doused

My angels-
Demons
They are demons

My demons mummer into my ear
Poison seeping to my skull

My eyes blind
I know I will not see
I will lie in the darkness
Enveloped by my dying fire
Scratched at by my demons claws

My god
You gave up on me

Or I gave up on you

They tell me yes
Yes

I reach out
And I finally
Finally

Scream

Scream of the life
I have lived
The poet lived
My flame lived
The life my angels twisted as they themselves became twisted

I am alive
Destined to die

Destined to reach forever for the Madness
Madness the poet reached for
Madness I now reach for

I will reach it
Or I will fall


Yes

They hear my scream
This is the end
My demons tell me so

I drift in the dust
My ashes spread to the winds
Carried by the smoke and the dreams my blood has cursed me with

They will carry me to my Madness

And I fall into her embrace
She holds me
And I cry

…

- Livy

Angels (Madness) will hold (cast) my harrowed (broken) bones to home (smoke)


i - And Though I Burn

I long to run into the arms of those who broke me
I ache to be taken back to that simple pain
But alas
The angels do not answer

Tell me
Is there a god?

Tell me
Why do they not answer?

Tell me
As you claim to hold the answers to it all in the palm of your hand

Tell me
My god

My god
You do not tell me

I am born of flame and fury
I am a raging god of my own

I hate to be doused
But returning to their arms simplify me
Their cold embrace comes back with pain

They hold me
I do not resist
How could I?
When they are all I have called out for
When they are all I have longed to reach

Lay me to rest
Her whispers poison my ears
She is not asking me
She is asking me

Who is she?

When did my scared hands reach for the blade?
When I asked her why she did not say

ii - How Could I Fall?

I am blind
Blind in my eyes
Blind in my heart
I cannot see anything
Anything
I scream

Screaming so loud the heavens should comfort me

Comfort me with my hoarse voice and blank stare
But they do not

Screaming for someone to hear me
They never hear me

Why not?
Do they ignore me?

Do they ignore me because of me?
Is it me?
Can someone tell me why?

My angels tell me why

They tell me as they hold me
I feel the warmth in my bones
They are holding me up
The structure of my home
The home that holds my soul

It protects me
And it hates me

I am trapped

iii - When I am Lifted

They say I am mad
Who says I am not?

I am mad
All poets are
We all grasp for the intangible being that we have to
It is in our blood

I, the poet, extend out my hand for the freedom
Just out of reach
Too far, some may argue
But the poet, I, reach out nonetheless
It is in my blood
The blood of the poet to reach out
It is what makes a poet

What curses them with their beautiful words
Their soft tales
The fact they always hold out
Day after day
Year after year

They reach for something nobody could see
I reach for something nobody can see
Some doubt even the poet can see it
I cannot

But they can feel it
So we hold out
Always stretching our hands
Falling, getting up. And reaching again

One day, the poet will grasp it
One day the poet will see
One day the poet will feel so much that they cannot contain

That is when they become our tortured poets
Tortured with the words they cannot share

The poet reaches every day
And then when they have reached it, they often wonder what they reached out for
They are filled with so much emotion, so many words
The words of the lost souls
But they cannot translate these words
So they are left to cry and swim in their own minds
Trying eternally to capture the beauty the voices feed them
Failing every time

They are tortured because the voices continue
And they do not tell the poet how to write the words
How to share their souls into the world

And then the poet becomes one of them
It becomes a lost soul speaking in a foreign tongue to another tortured poet who cannot express the words he could not express
The cycle continues

And every poet reaches out, because it is in their blood to fall. And to get back up again
It is in their blood to reach and reach and reach for what they desire
It is in their blood to try to write their soul onto paper
To share their words
To spill their blood onto the paper they lay upon and hope it releases the souls free

Their blood is their words
It is always, will always be their words

It is their curse
As a poet
They are cursed to hold the age old bones of someone long gone
And to try to share their soul

To reach out over the cliff in the hopes that someone will listen

I reach out over the cliff
And only my angels answer

iv - By Every Word You Say To Me?

They whisper words of madness in my ears
Drag me to the cold
Warm?
Ground

Where I lay
Hunted by poison truths

Did I reach for them?

My god, stop this
I beg you
I beg you

I scream

Screaming is not enough
Screaming will never be enough

They don’t listen
The only ones that listen to the cries of madness
Are those who are also mad

Am I one of them?
Or will they follow in the footsteps of others

I long for the embrace of Nature to hold me
But alas
I do not submit

If I give in to her beautiful warmth
Give in to the flame
Reach further than I can

I will fall
Fall not to the ground, as I’ve done so many times

But fall to fly

And I will join the smoke of the flames
My bones
My structure will become but a part of the stars
I will see
But I will be lost

v - If Anything Could Fall At All

Your loss does not define you

Then how do I live with this piece of me gone?
How do I live with this pain?
This hole inside me nothing could ever fill

There is a little tear in my soul
A little crack in my structure
Some pain tangled with this grief
Grief
A simple word to define something so heavy

My angels must surely hate me
My god
Why else would they do this?

I do not have a god
I dwell in this half state
Cracks in my bones
Splinters in my soul
The angels of demons whispering in my ears

The flame I long to lend myself to
The smoke I long to join as my ashes are charred
Left to nature's embrace

Is it time for me to touch it?
Time for me to finally reach out?
To fall over the cliff yet again?
Perhaps not to get up
To lie trapped beneath the weight of my home crashing down around me
To lie there even as the flame dies out
As I am doused

vi - It’s The World That Falls Away From Me

My angels-
Demons
They are demons

My demons murmur into my ear
Poison seeping to my skull

My eyes blind
I know I will not see
I will lie in the darkness
Enveloped by my dying fire
Scratched at by my demon’s claws

My god
You gave up on me

Or I gave up on you

They tell me yes
Yes

I reach out
And I finally
Finally

Scream

Draw out my voice of the life I have lived
The poet lived
My flame lived
The life my angels twisted as they themselves became twisted

I am alive
Destined to die

Destined to reach forever for the Madness
Madness the poet reached for
Madness I now reach for

I will reach it
Or I will fall

They hear my scream
This is the end
My demons tell me so
And the angels refuse to answer

I drift in the dust
My ashes spread to the winds
Carried by the smoke and the dreams my blood has cursed me with

They will carry me to my Madness

And I fall into her embrace
She holds me
And I cry

…


- Livy
Writing Competition Entry


Words - 1298 excluding a/n
Words - 1330 approx including short a/n
Words - 2005 including big a/n

Authors Note -

Huge thank you to Kya, Gigi, Luna, Snowy, Lily, Ivory, Chuey, Peggy and Cat for your amazing advice and or critiques for this poem. Love you guys <3
Longer a/n here - https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/topic/805137/?page=1#post-8468176
Project version here - https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1152078758/

Last edited - 30 March 25
Status - First Draft/Copy
Word Count - 167
Word Count including Authors Note (and quote) - 263
Project Version - https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1152637721/
<33


But you make me wanna act like a girl
Paint my nails and wear high heels, yes, you
Make me so nervous that I can't just hold your hand
- Heart Attack, Demi Lavato


- I'm Catching Feelings Over You -

I laugh, surely he doesn’t mean this much to me?
That would be wild.
Impossible.

Surely not.


His eyes met mine, dark and so, so alive.

He does mean that much to me.


His laugh.
I could get drunk off the sound.
I would do everything in my power to make him laugh like that forever.
And oh to be intoxicated by his happiness.
Oh it would be heaven.

His smile.
I long to photograph every one.
I ache to bring that smile to his face of my own accord.
And oh to hold his smile on paper.
Oh it would be all I could ask for.

I am scared of all I feel for him.
This sudden adoration.
This sudden desire to be with him, around him. To see his smile and laugh.

But he means all that to me.
And it scares my heart.

I want to back away but I move forward.

To him.

Will he move forward or back?
Is he the same?

- Note -

I'm sure you can guess what this is about
I'm a little scared of what I'm feeling, and how I've permanently adopted butterflies.
But we'll see how this turns out.
Hopefully well.

I sorta needed to write what I'm feeling down.
Haha, its quite a lot when its your first crush.

Thanks for reading <3
- Livy

More Thank you notes coming soon!! I just needed to get these out here <33
2040 words <33

SWC MARCH 25 THANK YOUS -

Fini -

Hi Cabbage, I’ve to thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me, You’re so amazing and cool! :0 Lettuce begin.

When I first got your offer I was so surprised I fell out of my chair and hit my head and then had to go get medicine cause it gave me a headache, but that’s not important.
I was so surprised because it was only the first day, like second hour and I didn’t think I’d be anyone’s first choice. And your offer was so enticing I almost accepted before the hours were up. So then I waited and then I was like, let’s wait some more and then I wrote to you something like thank you for the offer Fini I’m going to wait a bit. And my logic behind that was that it was only the first day and I should wait because I might get more offers.
And then I kicked myself in the head and said ‘Livy, what are you doing, go accept that offer’ so I went, not even an hour after the other comment and ate my words by like, screaming about how excited I was and that I was accepting your offer and I was so happy I did a little happy dance and called my friend to gush to her about your offer and everything that would be happening and how awesome it would be. And how Thriller would be the best cabin ever!
So my first thanks is a thank you for giving me the offer and the opportunity.
I wasn’t in the best place then and I think everyone was shocked at seeing how happy I was. It made my month and then every aspect of our time working together has made every single day awesome. Oh, and thank you for the headache as well, I think it knocked some sense into me.

My second thank you is for dealing with my crazy ideas and enthusiasm over our planning.
You were so patient and worked your way through each of my wildly ambitious ideas to help me organise them all. It really taught me some skills. And you responded to each one with enthusiasm and encouragement and just an awesome attitude.
I know I was a little overboard and had so many things I wanted to do. And you provided me with all the opportunities to make /most/ of those ideas become a reality.
I was a lot more active throughout cabin planning than I was last session, and that's for two reasons, I had a little bit of experience and thought, hey there’s nothing to lose. And the second reason is because you provided a safe place for me to go crazy and spew out my ideas all over the place.
I've also got to thank you for being so patient with me when I was being stubborn over the cabin colors xD. Looking back I have no idea why I was being like that but you handled it amazingly, as you are. But I think it turned out pretty good anyway.
And then you helped guide me through the PFP maker.
And you dealt with my crazy side quests like the Playlist and the Weekly Goals
And working with you on the Canva was so fun and just wiggling things around and watching your icon create magic! And our real-time comments and mashups of random things we both found on the internet xD.
And the way you didn’t question how late I was on, like when I was on at midnight and we just kept going. Then you dealt with my slightly grouchy/flattened (that’s not the word but anyway) comments and responses in the mornings.
You’re also amazingly organized. You set deadlines and timelines that helped me reign in my ambition and work to meet the dates you set. You’ve taught me so much about time management and realistic deadlines.

My third thank you is for helping me have fun this session and for having the best inside jokes!!
Our fun little joke of passing things around while planning Thriller, like sickness and wifi problems (I SEE YOU MABEL) and then when I became a telepathic potato who was controlling a human's body. You’re just an amazingly fun person to joke around and be a silly bean with.
Even if Thrillers storyline didn’t turn out how we hoped, you kept high spirits and kept the cabin an amazing atmosphere while encouraging all the campers. You kept a cool head and were organized even with the travelling and chaos from Cabin Wars.
And Cabin Wars were absolutely amazing!! Super chaotic and fun and you supported me during the second ones when I was struggling emotionally with ‘in real life’ things. I loved how hectic and crazy it was. You’re the best leader I could have wished for.

And honestly, this session has probably been the funnest one I’ve been in. You made it so, so amazing and I can’t imagine having not accepted your offer. You’re an awesome leader and I can’t possibly thank you enough for the love, support and laughter you’ve given me.
You’ve been here with the highs and lows this month, thank you so much Fini. You motivate me and show your support on and off scratch. We have fun moments and times where I’m dying of laughter when I’m meant to be sleeping.
You’ve become a friend/mother/sister figure to me over this time, and I don’t think we could ever lose the bond that's been forged over this session. Thank you so, so, so, so much. I love you. I love you so much.
I’ll admit, I was quite nervous to talk to you at first but then it just worked, and you aren’t scary, you’re just old. I love to talk to you about those things and just, thank you for being a fun safe person I can be myself around.

Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t be here without you.
Love from your dear potato <3


Mabel -

Hi Mabel, here’s your much deserved thank you note.

I loved to work with you and get to know you over these months. You’re a truly amazing person and right from the start I could tell that you would be an absolutely chaotic and fun bean to spend my time with. You’re one of the people who have helped me throughout this session, and I can’t thank you enough for the role you’ve played in my life this session.

I’m so, so glad I got to work with you, and thank you so much for being someone I can truly look to and smile about, to.
Thank you for being you. Amazing, awesome you.

Livy

Thriller -

Maddie

MADDIE!!! I love our chaos conversations and how they all descend into madness, (One Direction and *Hiccups*) and I will forever cherish your spoon. You are an amazing camper, and an amazing person. I’m so glad I got to call you my child this session. And I can’t wait to see where you go in future session!! <3
I love you forever and ever.
Livy

Juice

JUICE HI!!!! Yet another chaotic camper and child. You brought a wonderful light to Thriller this session, and thank you so much for all the craziness and excitement you brought to our cabin. I honestly can’t imagine how this would have gone without you. You’re the most amazing person, thank you for being you. Thank you for being chaos embodied, and thank you for all your encouragement, enthusiasm, and kind words.
I love you.
Livy

Recca

RECCA MY CHILD!!! I loved having you in Thriller this session, you were so crazy and enthusiastic and brought such amazing things here this session. Your writing comp entry is legendary, and I hope we get to know each other more in the future. Your chaos is spectacular, never to be matched.
I love you child, but I loved taping you to the ceiling more. <3
Livy


Everyone <3 (Thriller)

And to everyone I didn’t get to know so well, you are so, so amazing and I can’t imagine what my SWC would be without you. You’ve helped to make this my best session, and I have so many thanks to give I couldn’t possibly put them into words. I loved being your potato parent this session, with all of our fun jokes (cardiac problems, co-parenting) and crazy bonding, I’m always going to look back on this as my favourite session.
I love you all.
Thank you so, so much for everything.


Kya -

Hi Kya. There isn’t much to say that hasn’t already been said in my author's note or Sunlight Thank You. But you are my best friend. I love you so much. I love everything you mean to me. And I love everything about you.
Thank you for being my sister, best friend and someone I can look to for support and love.
Thank you for keeping me alive in the hard days.
Thank you for laughing with me on the good days.
I love you.
Always.
My Tea Lover.
Livy


Sage -

SAGE!!
Again, nothing much to say that hasn’t already been said. But thank you for being you. Your amazing, amazing self.
AND MYTH WAS AMAZING?! You did an absolutely amazing job with it. It truly looked beautiful. Like you. You have a beautiful soul.
I love you. Never forget that in the hard days.
I’m always here for you.
Thank you for being.
You don’t need to do anything more.
I love you.
Livy


Zy -
You're an amazing, chaotic and very cool person and OMG Dystopian looked so cool- AHHHH IT WAS LIKE AWESOME AND LIKE WHAT? HOW DID YOU CREATE SOMETHING SO COOL AND AMAZING AND PRETTY AND LIKE- You’re just a great person to have energetic aggressive-kindness screaming matches with. xD Thanks for being like that <33


Yume -

YUME!!! I feel like since Sci-Fi last session we’ve gotten so much closer, and you’re genuinely such a fun person to be around, you’re chaotic and cool and the best Canva designer. And you’ve supported my little project of KUWTS since the start, and you're so supportive and thank you so much for everything. I love talking to you and having chaos filled conversations about Tariagdes or Targibates… BUT YOU’RE SO AMAZING I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU <3


Alana! -

Hi Alana!! I’ve said most of what I feel before, but thank you so much for everything you’ve done this session. I loved getting to know you better, and you truly are someone I look up to in my day to day life. You are an amazing person, amazing singer, and amazing hostie.
I love you.
Livy

Ivory -

Hello Ivory, I love talking about lifeish things with you. From boys to building an SWC house in NY. (one day.) You’re such an amazing person to talk to, and I love everything about you, from your head to your toes. Thank you for being your amazing self.
Lots of love.
Livy

Ave -

AVE MY WIFEY!!! There isn’t much to say here except for the fact that I love you and how amazing you are!! I love having another Kiwi to talk to, and the fact it's you (who is exceptionally awesome) makes it even better! Thank you for being everything you are, wife, host, friend, and best person.
I love you so much.
Livy

Mouse -

Moose!! You’re an absolute legend. You’re so kind to everyone, and you’re an amazing person with everything you do. I’m so proud to be able to call you my friend. Our Pen-palling was super fun!! (dw about it <3) and it was a way to open the floodgates to our friendship. And ILLU-FI WAS BEAUTIFUL THIS SESSION, Your pfp’s are amazing <33
Thank you so much for being you. Amazing, kind you.
I love you so much.
Thank you.
Livy


Everyone -

I love you all so much.
Every single one of you has helped shape my SWC experience, and it’s thanks to you its a positive one.
Thank you for everything.
I love you.
Livy

LIVY I'm so flattered Hiccups was a good time *sniffles* I can't wait for next session. ALSO YOU WEREN'T KIDDING WITH FINI'S 1500 note xD it reall is as long as you said-

igloooo1 wrote:

LIVY I'm so flattered Hiccups was a good time *sniffles* I can't wait for next session. ALSO YOU WEREN'T KIDDING WITH FINI'S 1500 note xD it reall is as long as you said-

Haha thank you!!!! (Next time would you be okay with messaging me on a thread, im trying to keep this as ‘on topic as possible’ thank youuu) I LOVE YOY SOO MUCH!! And yes it’s exactly as long as I said