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CleverComment
Scratcher
500+ posts

Clev's SWC Writing Thread (November ‘24)!

a meeting with Death (1966 words)

The day Rachel Bergeron met Death, she was studying for her chemistry test.

Rachel rises at 6:17am precisely. She gets out of bed, ties her brown hair, and walks out the door in ten minutes – just on time.

It’s going to be a great day.

The drive to school is fine. Rachel meets her own brown eyes as she adjusts the rearview mirror. Hands clasping the steering wheel, she hums to the rhythm of the road. A couple of red lights here and there, but nothing too bad.

Walking into first period English on a Monday morning, Rachel is wide awake. She gets out her five-subject notebook, blue pen, and pack of highlighters. She opens a new page, and labels it with a swirling cursive title.

English, done. Ancient History, done. Calculus, done. Rachel waltzes through the day, navigating the humdrum of her life.

At lunch, Rachel sits with Destiny. Nothing has changed since middle school, it seems. Rachel shares a bag of Cheez-Its with her best friend.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so scared for decisions next week,” Rachel says.

“Don’t say that. The girl I know has worked so hard for this, and I know she can do it. She’s earned it.” Destiny beams at Rachel.

She smiles. “I’m kinda excited at the same time, if I’m being honest. This will be it. The actual decision.”

“Whatever Georgetown says, just know that I’m proud of you. You’re going to be a doctor, regardless of what university you get into. I just know it.”

The two sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, before Destiny speaks. “Are you coming to the play tonight?”

Shoot. “I completely forgot it was today,” Rachel confesses. “I’m so sorry, I have to study for the chemistry test tomorrow.”

Destiny laughs. “Don’t worry, it’s okay. The chemistry tests are always so difficult. We have another show on Friday night, can you come then?”

“I’ll be there,” Rachel promises. “Break a leg tonight!”

“Don’t worry, I will.” Destiny grins.

Rachel glances at her watch. 2:30. “I’ve got to go study now, sadly.”

“See you tomorrow.” Destiny waves.

Rachel smiles. She doesn’t know where she’ll be without her best friend.

After school, Rachel drives back home. When she arrives, she walks straight past the endless expanse of blue to the nearby library, books in hand, mind set on her goal.

Notes? Check. Worksheets? Check. Highlighters? Check. She’s ready to ace this test.

~

Rachel looks up from her polyatomic ions and gasps. It’s dark outside, and the library is deathly silent.

How long have I been studying for?

She gathers her items and rushes out the dimly-lit building.

Rachel breathes the cool air as she walks home, streetlights illuminating the midnight sky. She glances behind at the dark street.

There’s nobody there, yet she still hurries back home.

Once she reaches her home, Rachel opens the front door, careful not to make a sound. She places her books on the floor, heads through the kitchen, and freezes.

There’s a dark figure standing in the kitchen. Covered in the cloak of darkness, its tall shadow seems to be waiting for something. Me.

Rachel’s heartbeat races at the intruder in the house. “Who–”, she manages. “Who are you?”

There’s a pause in the silent house. A brief moment where breathing stops, where the crickets’ songs pause, where the air conditioning is silent. An overwhelming silence.

And then:

“I am Atropos.” The figure walks out of the shadows, and a middle-aged woman steps into the light. Dark hair, a deep crimson cloak, and tight lips. Head high, bronze eyes fixed on Rachel. She holds a thin string and a pair of scissors. “The third Moirai, guardians of fate and destiny.”

“Or, simply put,” she says, strolling towards Rachel. “I am Death.”

It turns out that Death isn’t a Grim Reaper with a scythe. Death isn’t a skeleton with a black cloak. Death isn’t a demon, or an angel.

Death is a lady with a pair of scissors.

Rachel’s mind races. What is happening? This lady is Death? How did she get in here? Is this real?

But she doesn’t say this. All she manages is one single word: “What.”

Atropos lets out a short chuckle. “Don’t be scared. Life has to end someday, no matter what. And for you, that day is today.”

Rachel’s eyes widen; her breathing becomes shallow. Her body trembles. “You’re going to–”, she falters. “You’re going to kill me?”

“Yes, and I truly hope you do understand,” Atropos rehearses. “We all have to die. I am simply the one to do it.”

Rachel can’t think. She can’t breathe. I am literally going to die now. Like actually DIE. She doesn’t know whether to fight, cry, or accept her fate. This is going to be my last night. The thought pierces her mind with striking clarity:

I’m going to die tonight.

Atropos watches as she starts breaking down. That poor girl, Atropos thinks. The young ones always are the worst. But she doesn’t let any of that change her unwavering facade, bronze gaze directed at the girl. “So, are you ready?” Atropos says.

“No, I am not ready,” Rachel cries. “And I don’t believe anyone will ever be ready for their death.”

“That is true,” Atropos concedes. “But the sooner it happens, the less pain we feel.” She holds the scissors and moves them towards the string. “Goodbye, Rachel Bergeron.”

“No! Stop!” Rachel cries.

Her hand stops.

“I have a chemistry test tomorrow!” Rachel splutters.

Atropos doesn’t know whether to laugh or end the girl’s life. “Excuse me?”

“My chemistry test,” Rachel says, pleading in her eyes. “I studied for so long. So many hours. I actually felt so good about it. And now you’re just going to take that away?”

And the weird thing is, Rachel actually means it. This isn’t a lame excuse, a reason to beg for her life. I care about my chemistry test, she thinks, and she doesn’t know whether that’s ridiculous or simply who she is.

Atropos stares at her. “This isn’t about the chemistry test, isn’t it?”

“What?” Rachel’s head spins. “Of course it’s about the chemistry test! I promise I’m not lying to you.” Fear grips her again in its icy hold.

Death’s eyes pierces into Rachel’s thoughts. “I promise you,” Atropos says coldly. “I’d know if you were lying to me.”

Rachel is trying not to let out a scream. What is she talking about?

Atropos looks at her expectantly. And suddenly, with cold clarity, Rachel knows what she means.

“No, this isn’t about the chemistry test,” she says slowly. “You’re right. It was never about the chemistry test.” She lets out a long sigh.

“I’m a hard worker,” Rachel begins. “I have goals for life. I have things I want to do, places I want to see, lives I want to touch.” She falters for a moment, and continues. “I have dreams, you know?”

“I want to be a doctor when I grow up. I want to go to Georgetown to study medicine. I’ve worked so long, I’ve worked my whole life becoming who I am.” Rachel shouts.

She grows quiet. “I have a best friend. Her name is Destiny. She’s the most talented person I know.” Tears well in her eyes. “I skipped her performance today, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.”

“I have a future, you know,” Rachel whispers. “And you’re going to take that away by cutting a string?”

The weight of her words hang in the air, and for a moment, the house is silent again.

And then Atropos speaks. “This string is your life.” Her words are quiet. Not harsh, not gentle, but quiet. “Your minutes, moments and memories.” The thread thrums with smooth energy.

“You are an ambitious girl. And you’re right; you have goals for life.” She gestures to the string. “This string shows that.”

“You say that you’ve spent your whole life becoming who you are,” Atropos says. “But your string shows something else.”

Rachel looks at the dark-haired woman, tears still in her eyes. “What is it?”

Atropos looks back at her. “You’re living in the future.”

Rachel forgets about her tears for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve lived every day of your life on the idea that you have a future. College. Your job. The chemistry test. These are all things that haven’t happened yet.”

“You’re wrapped up in the possibilities of what can be. You base every decision, every choice, every step you take on it,” Atropos says. “You never consider the possibility of a world where you have no future.”

“Simply put, you worry about the future so much that you forget to live in the present.”

A tear falls down Rachel’s cheek. Then, another. And another. Her body shakes, and suddenly, she is bawling.

“Oh god, what have I done with my life?” Rachel chokes in between sobs. “I’ve wasted it.”

Rachel rushes through all the moments in her life. The late nights studying, the wide-eyed wonder in hospitals, eating lunch with Destiny.

But she also thinks of the things she never got to do, the times she never got to laugh. Never trying that new ice cream flavor. Losing contact with her old friends. Missing Destiny’s performance.

I’ll never see her again.

The final, sinking realization hits her. “It was all for nothing.” She whispers. “It was all for nothing.

She starts convulsing. Tears are all over her. Her sobs come out in spasms.

Death watches the girl cry in the distance. These things all happen eventually; she must understand that. I have to carry out the inevitable, and she was destined to die.

A thought stops her. But the girl has a future.

And she feels something she hasn’t felt in a long time. Before she knows it, Atropos grabs a tissue from the counter, walks over to the weeping girl, and hands it to her.

She takes it.

And, for a few minutes, Death stands in a kitchen with a doomed, crying girl.

Rachel stops crying, and stares down at the tiles with red eyes. After a moment, she says, “Atropos?”

The woman looks at her.

“I’m going to die, aren’t I?”

A beat. Then, Atropos sighs. “Yes. Yes, you are.”

Rachel doesn’t say anything. She continues staring at the kitchen tiles, hoping for something that will never come. The house is filled with silence again.

“Can I say something?” Rachel says. “Before I die?”

Atropos only looks at her.

Rachel takes a deep, slow breath in. “My name is Rachel Bergeron, and I am seventeen years old,” she starts. “These are my final words. Today, I was studying for my chemistry test when I learned that I’m going to die.”

“I worked hard my whole life. I had big dreams. But there were things I never did.” She sighs. “I wish I had a second chance. A chance to do everything I never got to do.”

“I guess I never knew how precious my life was until it was taken away from me.”

“I loved my family, and I still love my best friend. I wish I could say goodbye to her.” She closes her eyes, and breathes in. “But all good things have to come to an end. And I’m grateful for my life.”

“Goodbye.” Rachel looks into Atropos’s bronze eyes. “I’m ready,” she whispers.

Atropos nods slightly. She slowly moves the scissors to the silver string.

Death hesitates. “Rachel?”

“Thank you.”

Rachel looks at Atropos one last time, and she gives a small smile, brown eyes glinting.

And for a moment, the house holds its breath. The room is filled with the sound of peaceful, blissful silence.

Rachel closes her eyes.

And Death cuts the string.


thank you to liv and wylan for critiquing, and my friends for supporting me
author's note (not in word count)

Last edited by CleverComment (March 15, 2025 23:29:36)

CleverComment
Scratcher
500+ posts

Clev's SWC Writing Thread (November ‘24)!

11/25 Duolingo Daily - Prompt: “We'll study every detail of these carrots” (280 words)

we’re studying every little detail in these carrots,
in order to find all these tarots.
who knows that these carrots will predict?
who knows which scenarios they will depict?
these carrots are everything to us.
everything we know these carrots will discuss.
because there is something about the vegetables that draws us in
and something about them that makes my head spin.
but there’s something that makes me grin:
the possibility of a win.
because, the smallest detail matters
and, who knows, if the glasses shatter
then something may happen.
and when you hear the sound of the cannon,
you’ll know that something is wrong.
(and the scent is strong)

i once heard of a man by the name of mr. ross.
he was in a bad place and only faced loss.
but, you know what?
he never gave up.
one day, some carrots were examined,
at first, they only appeared damaged.
but there was a number in one of the roots,
and that number just so happened to be two.
he stared and he stared and he stared,
until there no longer was any air.
the next day, he went to a casino,
he went there with his amigo.
and they were just beginning to play roulette,
when suddenly he began to sweat.
he didn’t know what number to bet on,
and then he became withdrawn.
until he remembered the number from yesterday,
“ALL IN ON TWO” was all that there was to say.
and so the wheel spun and spun and spun,
and it turns out that he actually won.
so that is why we look at the carrots.
because, who knows, maybe they will be our tarots.

Last edited by CleverComment (Nov. 27, 2024 20:53:52)

CleverComment
Scratcher
500+ posts

Clev's SWC Writing Thread (November ‘24)!

i'm tired (455 words)

i'm tired.

sigh

i want to do nothing,
i want nothing to do.

words are exhausting.
worlds are exhausting.

and so am i.


i want to mindlessly
do nothing.


hey, mindlessly!
it’s me, tired.


(get it?


haha.)



what
is
nothing?



a blank space
on the canvas?


the empty void
of outer space?


nothing can be
nothing,
right?


because everything
has to be something.

otherwise it’ll be
nothing.


an absence of something
is the presence of nothing.

so what is nothing?





my brain hurts.



i feel like nothing.
(not really)





it hurts.
it aches.
it throbs.


i want to let go.
(of what?)


the world
spins
on an axis
of
23.5
degrees

stop.




stop.








stop.





breathe.
breathe.
breathe.









breathe in,











breathe out.








my head
is spinning.





…what am i doing

with my life?



STOP.

stop.

breathe.
breathe.
breathe.


i’m fine.
(i’m not)


i’m okay.
(i’m not)

i’m alright.
(i’m not)



am
i
wasting
myself?




of course not.






(?)






JOI;NKFJASBZDJMV,JKJWAQ02W[OPK;SLERN,XMG.FJKQwl.k,Az




sorry.








so sorry.






so tired.











i
can’t
let
out
a
full
breath
.






HAoisbk4pq38wore9q82i4ujhaOiahwnohIOLaJNESKJZWHJOXF, BDSHIAWTRAPZ;KLDKFBMSDN M




.

















.









it feels







better?













breathe in,

breathe out.




sigh



what
am
i doing
with
myself?



i’m tired.
(i’ve had enough)
i’m lonely.
(can’t get enough)
i’m sad.
(i’m not enough)

enough
is
enough.








breathe.





breathe.





what is
enough?



e·nough
/iˈnəf/
as much or as many as required.



?






how can someone
who has had enough
not be enough?



it’s too much.




stop.





it hurts.


















i’m a mess.
(no i’m not)


i suck.
(no i don’t)


i’m a waste of space.
(no i’m not)




what am i even doing?







pause.



time-out.






…what is a person
but how they feel?

(nice to meet you,
i’m not enough.)



…what is a person
but their
scattered
thoughts?

(in
a
way,
zero
is
infinity.)




a long time ago,

i
was
me.





who am i?




what am i?




how am i?



(good, how about you?)






stop.



stop.



please.






stop.











































(silence)













thank you
for listening
to my ted-talk.
















(come back)








(i need you)


















(i can’t find me)













(where am i?)











how does
it feel to be a
lost soul?













forever
wandering
everywhere,
and nowhere.














am i a lost soul?












i need to be found.





a fortune cookie once told me,
the best way to find myself
is to play hide and seek
alone.




it’s ironic, isn’t it?


i can
never
find myself




breathe.


stop.





sigh





i can’t do this.
i can’t do it.











i’m not ok.















(is that okay?)









i’m me.












(is that enough?)








sorry,
give me a minute.












i’m tired.
i need to go to bed.

















i want to be alone.


(please don’t leave)










i’m tired.


(i need help)



















i don’t know
what to say anymore.













i’m not ok.












(that’s alright)














author's note

Last edited by CleverComment (July 5, 2025 03:16:03)

CleverComment
Scratcher
500+ posts

Clev's SWC Writing Thread (November ‘24)!

11/27 Lit Elements Daily - 427 words
I am the sidekick of a hero in a perfect world. In this world, nothing goes wrong. We live in a perfect place. We are all heroes, because there is no villany in the world. Everything is ok.

I look at John as he goes about the day “saving” people. In reality he is just talking to others and making them feel better. He does not actually save people, because there is nothing to save them from. There are no fires, no earthquakes, no landslides, no robberies, no attacks, no nothing. We don’t even have a police force because there is nothing to police.

It all happened two centuries ago, when the Dark Days ended. Our government put an end to all natural disasters and jailed all the villains. Every bad thing, every misfortune was put away to save humanity. And it worked. 221 years later, I can’t even imagine a world where injustice exists, because our world is perfect.

We go about our days smiling and laughing and enjoying ourselves, safe from the possibility of a bad thing happening to us. But that’s the bad thing. I’m a sidekick to a famous hero, John Brown. He recruited me one day because of my promising ability at the university. He became famous one day because he was in a viral video where he “saved” a cat. He told me after that the cat was put there by himself to get likes.

Anyways, that’s enough exposition for this story. Let’s get into the actual events. I was shopping with John at the market in the town square. It was a Sunday morning, and everything was good. There were many vendors and sellers, but also many buyers and shoppers too. John had wanted a new cape to wear, so that was why we were there.

But then I noticed a small boy cowering in the corner. I was slightly shocked, because I did not know that someone could have that expression. I approached the boy, and he said “The government took my family! Someone help me!”

I was shocked. The government was such a good being. How could they possibly have the ability to take someone’s family? I was starting to doubt this whole system. I told John a few minutes later but all he did was laugh and tell me that the boy was mistaken!

How could John, a hero, be so content and complacent with injustice in this disguised utopia? I, a sidekick, had to be the one to step in. I had to save this world.
CleverComment
Scratcher
500+ posts

Clev's SWC Writing Thread (November ‘24)!

Weekly 4 - CultureSWC (3150 words)

Swahili - Play Script (232 words)
Act 1, Scene 1
The play is set in a supermarket check-out lane. The supermarket appears to be very modern, with many towering aisles of cans and groceries in the corner. There is a line of bedraggled customers waiting with their carts in the only check-out lane open. The lights are on. One lone cashier is checking out the customers.

(Charity): Hello! Have you found everything you’re looking for?
(Customer): (bored) Yes.
(Charity, while scanning items): How has your day been?
(Customer): Good.
(Charity): That’s great to hear! Any plans for this glorious Sunday night?
(Customer): *increasingly impatient* No.
(Charity finishes scanning the items): That will be $124.21. Will that be cash or card?
(Customer) *hostile*: Excuse me?
(Charity) *slightly annoyed* I said what I said. There’s nothing wrong with the machine. Now, will that be cash or card?
(Customer) *tensely*: Card.
(Charity): Thank you. Would you like to round up to $125.00 to help support the children in the Democratic Republic of Congo? Right now, they are facing severe food shortages and desperately need our help. Any amount can help provide their food.
(Customer): No thanks.
(Charity): Are you sure? The children are starving. Any donation amount is appreciated.
(Customer): *slightly annoyed* No.
(Charity): It literally costs 79 cents.
(Customer): *angry* No.
(Charity): *hostile* So you don’t want to feed the children?????
(Customer): *angry* OK, are we done here???

Aksum - A Trade (221 words)
Charity looks at the customer with obvious contempt. “No, sir. We are NOT done here. You’re not leaving here until you donate to save the children of the Democratic Republic of Congo.”
The customer looks at her with spite in his eyes. “Since when did donations become required? I’m not paying anything extra. Inflation has already been so bad, I don’t want to do anything with this.”
Charity sighs and rolls her eyes. “It’s literally 79 cents. That can help provide a whole meal for a child. Imagine that you are a poor child, and you are literally starving but then suddenly you get a meal because a stranger GRACIOUSLY donated to help you.”
The customer looks at Charity with disgust. “You’re literally just stereotyping. I have a choice here and my choice is a resounding NO.”
Charity is shocked for a second, but quickly recovers and maintains her facade. “Fine. If I give you a coupon, will you donate?”
The customer scoffs. “Depending on what you’re offering.”
“If you buy a box of strawberries, you get another one for free.” She counters, a smirk on her face.
The customer’s eyes widen slightly. “Did you just say strawberry?”
Charity smiles internally. “We’ve got a deal.”
The customer reluctantly pays the 79 cents, and Charity hands him the coupon as he leaves.

Minoan - Decipher Writing (201 words)
Charity rolls her eyes as the customer leaves. “What a bad person.” She thinks to herself. “He literally does not want to support the kids!”
Suddenly, as the next customer comes, she gets a notification on her phone. She tries to read it, but it’s not in English. In fact, it doesn’t look like it even uses a Latin Alphabet. “Is it like Korean or something?” She thinks. She puts the language into Google Translate, but unfortunately, there’s nothing that comes up. “What could this text be?”
“Um, excuse me? Are you there?” The next customer says.
“Be quiet! I’m figuring something out; I’ll be with you in a second.” Charity snaps.
She looks at the text, and then something suddenly clicks. The symbols look vaguely familiar to something that she saw a long time ago.
She looks around to make sure that nobody’s around (well, obviously, there is), and starts deciphering the text. It’s in a made-up language that she made with her brother when she was four years old. She remembers the symbols right now, and they match with the text. After a few minutes, she successfully deciphered the text message: “What you are doing right now is inefficient.”

China - Morally Grey - 255 words
Charity is shocked. What did that text mean? “What am I doing inefficiently?” She thinks to herself.
But she already knows the answer. She’s not helping the children of the Democratic Republic of the Congo as much as she can. She literally had to beg that man from before just to get 79 cents, and that’s not actually going to do anything. “So what do I do now?” She whispers.
“Okay, where is your manager?” The customer demands. “I’ve been here for like 10 minutes and you’ve been on your phone the whole time!”
“Ok, I’ve had enough! You customers are always so annoying and complaining and not even wanting to donate to charity! You know what? I’m QUITTING!! I’m sick of all this nonsense!! I’m OUT OF HERE!!!!” She shouts.
She storms out of the small supermarket, not bothering to think what she had just done. “What do I do now?” She whispers under her breath. “I don’t have a job anymore, but I still need to help feed the children… how do I raise money for that?”
And suddenly, a lightbulb appeared in Charity’s head. She had an idea. “Oh yeah, I know that my friend was talking to me about how to become a scammer in her company.” She says. “I know it’s not the best thing to do, but what if I use the money to help feed the children?” She wonders.
It’s not the best decision, but it helps raise money, right?
Charity hesitates, and decides to text her friend.

Navajo - Forced Decision (345 words)
Immediately after her text, he responds. “Hey, thanks for reaching out. I’d love to meet with you about this tomorrow. Does 9 work?”
“He’s treating this like a business meeting,” Charity mutters. But she accepts anyways.
The next day, she meets James. “Hey, how have you been?” He greets, a smile on his face.
“Good.” Charity responds. “Now about the scamming.”
James chuckles. “Always directly to the business, aren’t you?”
Charity cringes.
“Anyways, you’ll work under our corporation for a few weeks. You’ll get a list of random phone numbers, and there’s a script for you to follow in order to maximize the profit given. You’ll receive an hourly pay, and if you work well, after a few weeks, you can work independently. ANy questions?”
Charity tries to absorb it all. “Ok.” She gets out. She hadn’t told James about her ulterior plan to donate to charity. “And where will the money that we take from the customers go?”
James scoffs. “I mean, it’s obviously going to go to you, as you’re scamming them. But it’s required to send all the profit you make to management at the end of the day, or there’ll be consequences. Your pay may be deducted or raised depending on how much you take.”
Suddenly, Charity is worried about what she’s done. This business seems suspicious, and there’s something about taking money from others that troubles her. And James’s constant stare doesn’t help.
“I’ll get back to you tomorrow.” She says firmly, knowing that she won’t get back to him. “Thanks for letting me know.” She says as she walks away.
“I know you’re not going to accept.” James says. Charity stops mid stride. “And if you don’t accept, you’ll never get a job again.” She hears his smile in his words. “I’ll make sure of it. Now, I’ll ask again.” He talks slower. “Are you in?”
Charity cringes. She’s trapped in this decision, and everything in her wants to leave. But she knows that something will happen if she declines, so she’s forced to make the decision. “I’m in.”

Inuit - Animal Empathy (210 words)
Charity walks into the office the next day to start her job. She is nervous, but she’s made her decision and now she is ready to excel at it. However, on the way to the job, she walks past a kitten in a tree. She should have walked past it, but there was something about the way the kitten was mewing and the sheer helplessness of the situation that makes her stop her walking and walk over to the kitten. It was a very small brown kitten that looked like it was at most a few months old. “How did it get in the tree?” Charity thinks to herself. But the kitten is now looking directly at her and she knows that she needs to help, even if it means she will be late to her job. She slowly raises her hands and arms high up in the air near where the kitten is, and keeps them there. “There, there.” She says to the kitten. “Jump on my hands, and you will be okay.” The kitten looks at her, hesitates, and then jumps tentatively into her hands. She quickly lowers the kitten down, and it leaps away. Charity smiled. The moment was so random but it made her feel better.

Aztecs - Image Flashback (245 words)
Charity runs and reaches the office a minute before she is expected. James is there, and another person is also there. “You’re late.” The woman says. “Uh, no I’m not? I arrived one minute ago and it’s not even 8 yet.” Charity retorts.
“SILENCE.” The woman yells. “Now, to become a scammer, I will teach you the arts. Anyways, take an apple!” Charity is bewildered. The lady’s hands thrust out and give her an apple. Charity gasps, and is instantly taken back to a memory from many years ago. She was on vacation to Southeast Asia with her family, and they were just visiting a village with a beautiful beach nearby. They passed a vendor, and Charity’s father bought her an apple. It looked beautiful; it was pale red, soft, and looked very appetizing. But when they were walking through the village, she saw another kid that looked really emaciated and hungry. He was just walking around, and she knew that he was a local. Charity decided to give him the apple. When he saw, his eyes widened. Charity could never forget that look in his eyes as he started eating the apple. He must have been very hungry. Charity blinks, and she is back in the office. James and the lady are looking at her strangely, but she doesn’t care. That memory that just surfaced was very important to her and her mission. “I must remember why I came here.” She thinks to herself.

Mayans - Origin Story (217 words)
After the training, Charity starts on her first customer. After three dials, they finally pick up. She uses her customer service voice to greet them. “Hello! I’m just returning the call you gave a few days ago about your car’s extended warranty.”
“Who are you?” It’s an old lady, she can tell. Charity smiles - these are the most gullible customers. “Ma’am, I’m Charity. I’ll be assisting you today. Now, about your warranty?”
The old lady isn’t convinced. “Where were you born?” Charity is taken aback. What a random question! She frantically looks at the script given, but there isn’t anything about this. She’s going to have to deviate from the script. “I was born in Kansas City, Missouri.” She replies tentatively. “What about you?” She asks.
“I was born in Naperville.” The old lady replies. “How did you get here?”
“Ever since I was small, I wanted to change the world. But one encounter in Southeast Asia changed everything for me, and that’s when I realized I wanted to stop food insecurity in the world by donating.” She spills, but then she catches herself. “But I’m only working in this car place because I can’t find any other jobs.” She adds hastily. Charity sighs. “I guess this is what my life can be described as,” she mutters.

Egypt - Dark Day (218)
She takes the woman’s money.
Her first customer, and she takes exactly $100.00 from her. Charity thought that this first order would have been perfect. It would have been the starting point to saving the lives of children who need it. But she was wrong. For some reason, taking the money from the old lady, who had had such a good conversation with her, felt bad, even though the money would be for a good cause.
Charity begins to doubt everything she’s done up to this point. “Oh my gosh, what have I done??”. Why had she quit that supermarket job? It wasn’t much, but it was stable. Now, she was scamming innocent people of their money? What was she doing? “Oh no, how do I stop this? Why have I done all this?” And then she thinks of James’s words: “there’ll be consequences” if she is caught stealing from the management. “What have I got myself into? How will I not get caught? Why did I steal the money from that lady? What am I even doing???” Charity’s mind starts spiralling. She needs to do something, otherwise she will start breaking down. She needs to focus on her task here, but she has a feeling that what she has got herself into is terribly, terribly wrong.

Ancient Rome - Hero (279 words)
Charity knows what she has to do. She finds her call history, and locates the old woman’s number. She last told her that the warranty would be extended by a year, and the woman did not know that she had been scammed; would not know until she contacted the car dealership. Maybe there was still some time to give it back before she realized. She calls back, and the woman answers with a confused “Hello?”
Charity immediately responds. “It’s me again, Charity. Apparently there was an error with the warranty, and I’ll have to give you the money back. Sorry about that. Could I have your information again?”
The old woman laughs, to Charity’s surprise. “HAHAHAHA!!! I knew about your trick with the scam. Why are you giving it back?”
Charity was taken aback. How did the old woman know? “I’m so sorry about that, I think there’s been a misunderstanding. Can I give your money back please?”
“I know that you scammed me.” The old lady says. “Then why are you giving it back?”
“Um, uhhh,” Charity stammers. “I’m not sure. I just felt bad.”
The old lady laughs again. “Well, thank you. Here is my information.” And within minutes, the money is back into the old lady’s account. She says: “Thank you for doing that. I was so scared when I realized that my money was lost.”
Charity is surprised, she had no idea that the conversation would go that way. She tries to find words to say. “Of course.” is all that she says, and the old lady laughs again. “Well, thank you.” the lady says, and the call ends.
Charity doesn’t know what to say.

Ancient Greece - Supernatural (241 words)
At the end of the day, Charity needs to report to management with her earnings. She decides to be honest and say she doesn’t have any, and maybe she will get away with it, given that it is her first day. She talks to James. “So, how was your first day?” He asks. “It was ok. I didn’t get any money, but I definitely felt that I was close a few times,” she replies. He stares at her. “That’s sus. Anyways, you need to get at least a few dollars tomorrow otherwise you will be fired.” Charity gasps. Why is the company so strict? But she nods anyway. “Of course, my darling.” She says, hoping that he will comply with her. But when she looks back at him, there is a ghost there! “WHAT!” She screams at the ghost. It is a transparent blue, and it seems to have taken the shape of James. “What have you done with James?” She shrieks at the ghost. It only looks back at her terribly. There is no one else around. The building is empty at night. It’s just Charity and the ghost. But she blinks, and the ghost is gone. “Woah, what’s the matter with you?” The real James says. “You’re pale as a sheet. Did you just see a ghost?”
Charity tries not to scream. She knows what she saw was real, but where did it go? What is happening to her?

Aboriginal - Dreamtime (203 words)
Charity is left alone once James leaves. She doesn’t know what to do except pack up and leave, so that’s what she does. But before she leaves, she is confronted with a person…. a person that sounds strangely familiar. “Hello, Charity.” It is an old woman, yet there is something about her that seems like she is not a human. “It is me. The old lady from Naperville.” Charity gasps. It was the old lady that she helped today. “How- how did you find me?” Charity gasps. Charity is so shocked. “I am not a human. I am a person from the dreamtime. I was born thousands of years ago. I am only pretending and shifting to become an old woman to appear like a mortal. I control and test justice in our world. People have painted me for years.”
Charity gasps. A dreamtime person?
The lady continues. “It was me who sent that text in that deciphered language. It was me who pretended to be the old woman who you helped. I have been watching you, Charity. I have been testing you. And you have succeeded. You have beat the test. Congratulations. Now, your story will be told for years to come.”

Mesopotamia - Poem (283 words)
Three hundred years ago, there lived a woman named Charity
She was generous, she was beautiful, and she was a rarity.
Charity lived a normal life as a cashier of a grocery store.
But little did she know, her life was in for a lot more.
Charity had always wanted to save children and stop hunger,
One time in Southeast Asia, she realized those children were among her.
Thus, she dedicated her whole life towards donating to children,
Determined for their lives to escape poverty and become risen.
One normal night, Charity was trying to get a customer to donate,
But he was too arrogant, didn’t want to donate, and had to wait.
Charity bargained with him, giving him a coupon for some strawberries,
And suddenly, he agreed, and she had no more adversaries.
But Charity then got a text in a very strange language,
It took her a few minutes to decipher the language.
She decided to quit her job and work at a scamming place,
But she didn’t want to and was forced to accept with grace.
Even in a terrible job, she still maintained who she was,
Remembering her ulterior motive of supporting her cause.
She rescued cats and conversed with her clients,
But when she realized what she was doing, she was no longer compliant.
Because Charity had a good soul deep inside her,
And with her first customer, she decided to apologize to her.
Charity always overcame the odds,
And she even had meetings with the gods.
Charity is the quintessence of staying true to yourself,
And she will always be remembered herself.
Never forget to donate to Charity,
Because one day, it will lead to eternal prosperity.

Ending (172 words)
And so, Charity became the epitome of charity for years to come. Her story has been told for ages; a story of perseverance, morals, and most importantly, staying true to yourself. But let's rewind back to the conversation with the old lady. “Wait, what the heck?” Charity says, and the old lady chuckles. “You heard me. You're going to be famous!!”
Charity is pretty sure she's hallucinating, but she believes what she sees anyways. “Ok! Yay!!!!”
The next day, Charity quits her job and blocks James on her phone. She moves in with her sister, Verity, for a few months before landing a job as a humanitarian aid worker in Bangladesh. She screams when she gets the phone call.
Fifty years later, Charity passes away. The rest of her life, she's saved hundreds of lives and provided meals for so many children.
Verity attends her funeral, and she notices an old lady there that she's never seen before. The old lady looks at Verity and smiles.
Charity's charity will forever be remembered.

Last edited by CleverComment (Nov. 30, 2024 17:32:29)

CleverComment
Scratcher
500+ posts

Clev's SWC Writing Thread (November ‘24)!

unofficial critique for bea!
ok ooh i love this idea, the forest really seems super cool :0
some critiques: this is a personal preference, but italics can definitely be used in writing to bring more emphasis! for example, the first three words can be
Sun.
Wind.
Clouds.
or
The trees were tall, too tall, to be young.
or
That was another problem when you couldn’t see or feel the sun.

Cold.
or maybe the last sentence to make it more dramatic!
also, right after it says that none of sun/wind/clouds exist in the forest, you can add a sentence saying how they're nonexistent, because it jumps into the tree description before explaining how, and i think that would set it up well!! for example, you can say “the air was eerily still” or something, and move the “black leaves stopped any sunlight” ahead?

She didn’t have a jacket or anything of the sort. Which was slowly becoming problematic. She was freezing.
def like the cold imagery, but it would be awesome to elaborate and show more how she's cold instead of saying she's freezing! i know you already say like she shivers, but maybe another sentence about her breathing the cool air, or maybe about the cold penetrating her jacket or something to make it more vivid

She started to sing a song, formerly a poem she had found in her mother’s journal and had created a tune to it.
oooh!! i love this, def elaborate on the song! you dont 100% need to say “and had created a tune to it” because it's implied as well. you could also describe the song and how it sounds in the dark forest, like “the silent forest listened to the small melody” or smth (idk that example i gave was a little happy)

overall i love the piece a lot, i def like the events and the imagery!! there are a few things i suggested but overall it's amazing - i would love to see more descriptions of the forest too
CleverComment
Scratcher
500+ posts

Clev's SWC Writing Thread (November ‘24)!

Word War with Kit! (270 words)
Look, just because I’m a criminal doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. I mean, I did what I had to do to survive, and that’s all you need to know. You want to know more? Fine. I’ll tell you.

It was a lovely Sunday morning. I was walking around when I noticed that I got a new text. I was intrigued when I clicked it, because it was from my friend that I hadn’t heard from in 2 years. I opened it, and it said to meet him at the bank at 12pm. I was so confused, but I decided not to question it. I agreed to it, and I drove to the bank to meet him at 12pm.

I looked around, but he wasn’t there. I decided to wait for a few minutes, but quickly grew impatient and decided to drive off. However, before I could do that, he started running and opened the car door. He looked very startled and in a rush, and for some reason, he was wearing a mask and holding some cash in his hand (I could still recognize him, though).

He told me to drive, so I did. Then, for some reason, the police came and stopped the car. I learned that he had just robbed a bank, and I was shocked. I was labeled as an accomplice and he literally dragged me under the bus.

So that’s why I’m here in jail. For driving a car that I didn’t even know had a robber in it. So, even if I am called a criminal, I didn’t do anything too bad. Trust me!
CleverComment
Scratcher
500+ posts

Clev's SWC Writing Thread (November ‘24)!

author's note - a meeting with Death
hi!! ok so this was a short but long journey at the same time. i hope you enjoyed the story, and maybe resonated with it.
i feel like the idea of not living your life and instead studying has repeated itself a bunch in my life, and a bunch of other people's lives too, and i wanted to reflect that in the story!

acknowledgements (im so professional):
tysm to wylan and liv for the critiques :)
tysm to eevee, zy, chuey, and bea for helping me with parts of the piece!
tysm to my friends irl for reading it and being there
tysm to you for reading, i hope you liked it

bonus fact: i got rachel's last name from the short story “harrison bergeron” by kurt vonnegut
bonus bonus fact: i got the idea for the story from an article about the moirai i glanced upon while scrolling on my phone in spanish class

Last edited by CleverComment (March 15, 2025 23:29:49)

CleverComment
Scratcher
500+ posts

Clev's SWC Writing Thread (November ‘24)!

thank-you notes!
overall session reflection: nov 24 was such an amazing swc time, i loved co-leading magical realism (both as a co-leader and the debut of a new genre i love!!!) i can't believe that literally four years ago was my first time in swc :0 (even though i wasnt active until nov ‘22). there’s something about the novembers that i love, nov ‘22 was script the musical, i loved that cabin, and nov ’23 was mystery mansion which is my favorite cabin i've ever been in and this november did not disappoint. whether it was our cabin completing 10 wars in cabin wars 1 and 17 (and one bonus) wars on cabin wars 2, or the showdown between team nano and giga, or the spost heculation it was so amazing! ok imma start now, theres a bunch of ppl and i dont want to use too much energy on this so yeah

alana - im gonna say, i loved co-leading the boba tavern w you ) i was so happy the day that i got the offer (so speedy xD) and this session was SO fun!! the boba tavern was such an amazing idea from the start and i really believe that we elevated it even though i wasnt able to help for a lot of the storyline (oops), i just want to say that i loved the whole experience and it was soso fun <333 also congrats once again on tyranny (also i noticed your wiwo and i hope everythings ok when u read this!!)

cj - hi!!! i can't believe we got to co-lead together :000 remember thriller insect academy in march?? that seemed so long ago but i cant believe it was this year. anyways

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