welcome!
This is my swc thread for March 2024! I would appreciate it if you didn’t comment here or reply to anything. If you want to say anything, I invite you to my profile! Thank you! <3 #scriptftw !

daily #2 - compliments

The saffron-steaked sky was slowly fading to twilight as the small group of armed travellers rode valiantly into unknown territory. Their horses’ hooves gently padding the long grass, and the gentle rustles of leaves in the breeze were the only sounds occupying the forest around them.
“Rather quiet, don’t you think?” Owen broke the silence with a careful whisper.
His other five companions glanced at him. Finley slowly nodded in reply.
“Too quiet,” She agreed with an equally low voice. “The others said they would be waiting for us here, but I don’t see any signs of a camp.”
Xavier scanned their surroundings, squinting to see into the shadows of the slowly darkening forest. Something made him tense, and the others instantly stopped their horses, recognising his stance.
The trepidation in the air made Finley’s steed begin to stamp nervously, and she stroked his smooth grey hide to keep him quiet as Xavier stared hard at something beyond a cluster of trees to their right.
“What’s the matter?” Aviel whispered with a slight quaver in her voice, but Xavier lifted a hand in response.
The next few seconds were excruciating.
Soon, Xavier breathed a sigh, lowering his hand as he turned back to his group, and everyone exhaled, realising they had been holding their breath.
“What did you see?” Quinn asked, his striking blue eyes clouded with concern as he watched the place Xavier had been looking at before.
Xavier shook his head. “I thought…I saw a shadow, but I guess it was nothing—”
Everyone’s hearts stopped as a blur shot past them and stabbed straight into the trunk of a tree. Finley turned to it, and her blood ran cold.
It was an arrow.
The group locked eyes, their fight or flight instinct kicking in. Without hesitation, Xavier drove his horse to a full gallop, his companions following suit, and the unmistakable sound of pursuing riders screamed in their ears as they raced through the trees.
“Keep going!!” Xavier yelled, before turning his horse about and racing back towards the unknown enemies, drawing his sword.
Instinctively, Owen turned and galloped after him, pulling his bow and an arrow down from his back as he went. “No, Xavier! We fight together.”
Alaric, Quinn, Finley and Aviel also ignored Xavier’s command and followed Owen, drawing their own weapons as the group stopped in a clearing.
Xavier gave them a sidelong glance, eyes half filled with annoyance, half with appreciation, but he said nothing and readied his sword. The pursuing riders were approaching them rapidly, but were still unidentifiable due to the fading sunlight.
With their identities shadowed, they looked menacing, but the six stood firm, swords and bows readied, unfaltering.
The pursuers slowed to a halt right before the clearing. The travellers watched, but the riders didn’t move any closer.
“Identify yourself!” A voice called.
Xavier squinted. “You first.”
It was silent for a moment, before the shadows suddenly resumed advancing, making the group tighten their grip on their weapons.
One figure came out of the shadows first, and stared in surprise at the group.
“Mason!!” Finley gasped, and everyone relaxed, lowering their weapons as five of the allies they were seeking emerged from the trees.
They rode to each other and dismounted to give greetings, clasping each other’s hands, exchanging quick hugs and clapping each other on the back.
“Finley!” Mason came to Finley and gripped her hand, eyes filled with relief. “I’m so glad you guys made it! Are you all okay?”
Finley winced a smile, trying to shake off her previous fear. “Of course! We’re happy to see you too, we thought you were enemies.”
Mason half laughed. “So did we.”
Xavier promptly relinquished his temporary leadership role, letting Raymond get back in control.
“We better make our way back to our camp at Ferncliffe River, before it gets too dark,” Raymond said, and the party agreed, beginning to remount their horses.

Finley laid back in the sea of grass and stared up at the stars, her warm brown eyes reflecting their glow as she counted them absentmindedly. Her mind was wandering off, back to the previous moments leading up to now.
She sighed, closing her eyes and trying to ignore the adrenaline that was racing through her from the day’s events, its hold refusing to let her sleep.
“Are you alright?”
Finley opened her eyes and glanced to her left to see Mason approaching.
She sat up. “Yeah. Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I can’t. I take it sleep won’t come for you either?”
Finley nodded, her eyes drifting back to the stars. “I’m still too alert.”
“Same here,” Mason smiled sympathetically. “…May I join you?”
Finley looked up at him for a moment, then patted the grass beside her. “Sure.”
Mason sat down beside Finley, and for a short while they sat in silence, staring up at the stars twinkling in the dark sky.
“Do you ever get tired of it?” Finley whispered.
Mason glanced at her. “Of what?”
She paused. “Fighting? Living in constant fear? I don’t know—all of it? This life we lead?”
Mason stared into Finley’s eyes for a moment, trying to read her thoughts, before facing the stars. Finley tried and failed to guess what he was thinking. The two sat in silence for a long moment.
“You don’t think it’s worth it, do you?” He finally asked, still watching the sky.
Finley blushed, lowering her head. “I…No, I’m sorry, I—”
“Don’t apologise—I feel the same too. Sometimes.”
Mason turned to Finley, and they locked eyes. An unexpected soft smile spread on his face.
“But you make me remember there are things worth living for.”

947 words, ending is a bit rushed :eyes: but yeah :’D
compliment: you make me remember there are things worth living for (by @snuggles0426)

(word war with: windowcat1)

The anticipation she felt was uncontainable as she flew down the streets amongst throngs of other people, all on the same journey as she. As she got closer and closer to a faded old sign, her heart began to race as she imagined what could possibly ensue at her destination.
The banner of ‘Covealt Station’ was right beside her now, and without hesitation she ran into the station, not surprised by how already packed it was.
She scanned the station, eyes searching expectantly for the train that was soon to come storming into view at any moment.
Her heart leapt at the sudden shrill whistle of a train, and everyone stopped and stared as the transport screamed into the station, its roar almost deafening.
The train slowed to a stop, and the girl stood in breathless silence as the doors slid open and she caught her first glimpse of the country’s heroes.
Cacophonous cheers of congratulations rang in her ears as the men in uniform poured out of the doors, and near-chaos ensued as civil

176 words

(word war with: yumetopia)

“That sure was something,” Miles said, but I barely heard his words.
They all were chatting about how much they enjoyed it, but I couldn’t join in their conversation.
They didn’t know. They couldn’t.
“What’s up with you?” Avery asked, and I realised she was talking to me.
“Nothing,” I lied, eyes trained on the floor beneath me as we walked away from the theatre. “Nothing at all. What were you going to say, Gwen?”
Gwen raised an eyebrow, but I ignored it. “Just asking what you all thought was the best bit.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Avery?”
“I already said my favourite part—we all did. Weren’t you listening?”
I blinked. “No, I’m sorry. Could you repeat it?”
Avery crossed her arms. “Something’s up."
“No there isn’t,” I countered.
“Then why have you been acting so weird, Sophie?”
I shook my head, glaring at the floor. “I was just thinking about the show we watched. That’s all.”
I took a deep breath to keep from getting angry as the others still watched me with unconvinced looks.
“I’m alright—really,” I offered a smile so they would leave me alone, and they dropped it for the moment.
I just couldn’t tell them.
We got to the parking lot and saw Miles’ dad waiting for us in his large black car. The window slid down as we approached.
“There you all are! How was the show?”
“It was great, dad,” Miles replied as his father unlocked the car doors.
“Good to hear,” He smiled as we hopped into the car. “You can tell me all about it while we go and get some ice cream.”
His proposal made us all smile, and we hurried to buckle our seatbelts as Miles’ dad started the engine.
“Ready?”
“Yep!”

296 words

for critiquitaire

from the second daily of this session
not the best of my writing :eyes: please don't judge too harshly :'))

The saffron-steaked sky was slowly fading to twilight as the small group of armed travellers rode valiantly into unknown territory. Their horses’ hooves gently padding the long grass, and the gentle rustles of leaves in the breeze were the only sounds occupying the forest around them.
“Rather quiet, don’t you think?” Owen broke the silence with a careful whisper.
His other five companions glanced at him. Finley slowly nodded in reply.
“Too quiet,” She agreed with an equally low voice. “The others said they would be waiting for us here, but I don’t see any signs of a camp.”
Xavier scanned their surroundings, squinting to see into the shadows of the slowly darkening forest. Something made him tense, and the others instantly stopped their horses, recognising his stance.
The trepidation in the air made Finley’s steed begin to stamp nervously, and she stroked his smooth grey hide to keep him quiet as Xavier stared hard at something beyond a cluster of trees to their right.
“What’s the matter?” Aviel whispered with a slight quaver in her voice, but Xavier lifted a hand in response.
The next few seconds were excruciating.
Soon, Xavier breathed a sigh, lowering his hand as he turned back to his group, and everyone exhaled, realising they had been holding their breath.
“What did you see?” Quinn asked, his striking blue eyes clouded with concern as he watched the place Xavier had been looking at before.
Xavier shook his head. “I thought…I saw a shadow, but I guess it was nothing—”
Everyone’s hearts stopped as a blur shot past them and stabbed straight into the trunk of a tree. Finley turned to it, and her blood ran cold.
It was an arrow.
The group locked eyes, their fight or flight instinct kicking in. Without hesitation, Xavier drove his horse to a full gallop, his companions following suit, and the unmistakable sound of pursuing riders screamed in their ears as they raced through the trees.
“Keep going!!” Xavier yelled, before turning his horse about and racing back towards the unknown enemies, drawing his sword.
Instinctively, Owen turned and galloped after him, pulling his bow and an arrow down from his back as he went. “No, Xavier! We fight together.”
Alaric, Quinn, Finley and Aviel also ignored Xavier’s command and followed Owen, drawing their own weapons as the group stopped in a clearing.
Xavier gave them a sidelong glance, eyes half filled with annoyance, half with appreciation, but he said nothing and readied his sword. The pursuing riders were approaching them rapidly, but were still unidentifiable due to the fading sunlight.
With their identities shadowed, they looked menacing, but the six stood firm, swords and bows readied, unfaltering.
The pursuers slowed to a halt right before the clearing. The travellers watched, but the riders didn’t move any closer.
“Identify yourself!” A voice called.
Xavier squinted. “You first.”
It was silent for a moment, before the shadows suddenly resumed advancing, making the group tighten their grip on their weapons.
One figure came out of the shadows first, and stared in surprise at the group.
“Mason!!” Finley gasped, and everyone relaxed, lowering their weapons as five of the allies they were seeking emerged from the trees.
They rode to each other and dismounted to give greetings, clasping each other’s hands, exchanging quick hugs and clapping each other on the back.
“Finley!” Mason came to Finley and gripped her hand, eyes filled with relief. “I’m so glad you guys made it! Are you all okay?”
Finley winced a smile, trying to shake off her previous fear. “Of course! We’re happy to see you too, we thought you were enemies.”
Mason half laughed. “So did we.”
Xavier promptly relinquished his temporary leadership role, letting Raymond get back in control.
“We better make our way back to our camp at Ferncliffe River, before it gets too dark,” Raymond said, and the party agreed, beginning to remount their horses.

656 words

critique for AmazaEevee

Haha, this was so fun to read! I love how you gave the toddlers distinctive personalities, and this was overall a great piece!
I’m still getting the hang of critiquing other people’s writing, so please bear with me haha, but here we go:

The sentence “Scratch Headquarters only has 15 large rooms” seems like it would flow better as “Scratch Headquarters has only 15 large rooms”, but that's just my personal thought.

“Has always being reluctant to adding more onto the building” ‘Been’ instead of ‘being’ would make more sense, that might’ve been a typo, and I think that instead of ‘to’ you should write ‘about’, it would flow better as well!
I also think the next sentence could be worded better too, like “I hear that he’s caved, however, and 6 more rooms will be added soon.” Something like that, or simply just change ‘going' to ‘will be’ in the original sentence.

This is not exactly a critique, but I just wanted to point out something I noticed: after the sentence ‘An incoherent chorus of hi's and hello's come from the group.’, the quote marks where anyone speaks are backwards or positioned awkwardly, that might’ve been some kind of glitch in whatever software you were using when you were writing this!

“And point at two girls huddled in a corner, giggling” If you add ‘who were’ in between ‘girls’ and ‘huddled’, I think it would flow nicer. Again, this is just my personal preference!

Haha, random, but I love how one of them quoted Macbeth! xD

“And no, thank you, I can rest later on break, now is not the time.” This sentence feels a bit wordy, maybe you should break it up into two next time!

When Zaine trips, you add “and grabs his book”, but I noticed you didn’t add anything to say that he dropped it in the first place. Also, at “placing them back onto the stand and grabs his book”, I think you should either change ‘grabs’ to ‘grabbing’ or ‘placing’ to ‘places’ so it makes more sense and the tense is consistent.

This is just me being picky, but if you spell deescalate as de-escalate, it would be easier to read, if you know what I mean!

You added a comma after the full stop when SWC finishes speaking to Moss, was that a typo?
You also use the word ‘weird’ two sentences in a row, maybe you could change it in one of the sentences for more variety!

“Like an open lunchbox” instead of “like a open lunchbox” is more grammatically correct, might’ve been another typo

That’s all! Overall, I love this piece haha, and the references to SWC you sprinkled throughout were fun to look out for! The toddler voices are fine in my opinion, and the tense consistency is good too! Great job

473 words

Weekly #2 - SWC Classics

(the parts are all separated, but parts two and three are on the same forum post)

PART ONE: Flower symbolism
flower(s) I chose: Gillyflower (affection), Snowdrop (hope), Ox-eye (patience) and Rose (love).

“I’m so hungry!” Cassie groaned, slumping in her seat and knocking her head against the table.
Grayson rolled his eyes. “Stop interrupting me, Cassie. Dinner’s almost ready.”
“But I’m so hungry!” Cassie repeated just to annoy Grayson. “What’s for dinner, anyway??”
“Wait and see.”
Cassie flashed Grayson a scowl. “You better tell me—don’t act as if you don’t know. I’ll keep annoying you if you don’t tell me!”
Grayson put down his book and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms with defiance. Cassie looked as if she was about to tear into him.
“I think it’s mac and cheese,” I answered before an argument could start, shaking my head at the two of them. “Don’t wind her up, Grayson.”
Cassie smirked at Grayson triumphantly, and he sighed, narrowing his eyes at me.
“Thanks a lot, Freya.”
A knock came at the door that made our heads turn. Nobody moved.
(Apparently the forums don't like the word t3l3gram, so I'll have to write it like that-)
“A t3l3gram!” Cassie whispered with worry.
“We don’t know that,” Grayson countered.
“I’ll get it!”
We heard mother’s footsteps as she made her way to the door. I swallowed hard.
“It could be a visitor,” I began hopefully. “Or the postman.”
Cassie shook her head. “The postman doesn’t knock. It is a t3l3gram.”
We heard the door lock and perked up, watching the living room entrance expectantly. Minutes passed, until Mother finally walked into the room. Her hands were shaking, and she was holding a pale yellow envelope.
My heart sank. “What is it?”
Mother snapped back to attention and glanced up at me, dazed. “…I don’t know yet.”
“Do you want me to open it?”
Mother looked at Cassie and forced a smile, shaking her head. “No, dear, it’s ok. I’ll open it.”
She promptly ripped the seal of the envelope, and I held my breath. As she scanned the letter, my hope fizzled away at the look in her eyes.
“What happened?” Cassie whispered, her expression filled with dismay.
Mother met Cassie’s eyes and opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again and shook her head, her eyes filling.
Grayson stood up and went to Mother’s side, offering to take the letter. She gave it to him and sat down in the armchair behind her.
“It says…” Grayson hesitated as he read through the t3l3gram, and his expression became grave.
“What is it, Grayson? I can’t take it anymore,” Cassie pleaded, breaking the silence.
I agreed, but couldn’t utter a word. I was scared now.
He looked up at us sorrowfully. “Father has officially been classified as missing in action.”
I stared at him, a lump forming in my throat. I thought they would be able to locate him.
“…They’ll find him,” Cassie said.
We all glanced at her. Grayson’s expression contorted with anger.
“Do you know what ‘officially classified as missing’ means?? It means they’ve tried! You’ve got your head in the clouds!”
“I’m being serious,” Cassie replied firmly. “He could still be out there!”
“You’re being unrealistic, Cassidy!”
“Grayson.”
He turned to me, and I shook my head.
Grayson threw his hands in the air and stormed out, muttering incoherent words. He dropped the letter on his way, and Cassie went to pick it up.
She stood silently reading it. A door slammed upstairs.
“They’ll find him,” Cassie whispered, more to herself.
I didn’t feel as optimistic. What if he was…?
Mother seemed to revive a little at Cassie’s words and stood up. “Maybe they will. Right, dinner’s ready…come on, you two. Freya, try and get Grayson to join us, will you?”
“What about Father?”
“…There’s not much we can do except wait and see, I’m afraid. Come.”
Mother gently prised the letter from Cassie’s hands and led her to the kitchen, but I remained glued to my seat. I didn’t feel hungry anymore.


I opened the little drawer in the cabinet by my bed, and memories spilled onto the floor before I could catch them. I reached to pick them up, then paused.
“Did you find it?” Cassie asked from where she sat on her bed.
Snapping out of my thoughts, I shook my head. “No…sorry, I just dropped some stuff.”
I grabbed them, but not before Cassie caught a glimpse.
“Are those father’s letters?”
“Yeah,” I replied, gathering them to place them back.
“Can I see them?”
I glanced up at Cassie. “…Sure.”
I got up and retraced my steps back to Cassie. I plonked myself next to her, and she scooted closer to me.
Together we opened his letters. They were always short, because as Father had stated, he didn’t have a lot of time to write, but whatever he wrote was always interesting. From stories to make us laugh that other soldiers told him, to words of encouragement, and even little diaries about what was going on around him.
But what I loved the most about his letters was the flowers; in the little envelopes, he would always tuck in a flower or a little bouquet of them, hastily tied together with twine. The first time, we were confused about what the reason was, but when we showed Mother the ox-glove and gillyflower he had sent, she laughed and explained why he added them.
When they were younger, Father and Mother would sent little flowers to each other as secret messages, like people did in Victorian times. It was sometimes in letters, or other times they would just give them to each other without saying a word, and they would have to discover their meaning.
Discovering the meanings of them became a fun little game we would play, and he sent them in every letter we received. From roses to symbolise his love, snowdrops that meant we should have hope and the ox-glove from the first letter, which told us to be patient for his return. Sometimes he would add a flower to go with a story he told.
In every letter, though, he always included a gillyflower, which symbolised his affection for us.
“Hey, Cassie, I guess you missed this one,” I smiled, bringing an old, withered gillyflower out of one of the envelopes.
She grinned as I handed it to her. “I guess I did.”
Cassie had taken every flower and tied them into a bouquet which grew with each letter Father sent. All the flowers in the bouquet had wilted now, but Cassie still kept them.
“I miss him,” Cassie sighed, letting the gillyflower fall into her lap.
I nodded. “Me too.”
Cassie leaned into me, resting her little head against my shoulder, and I put an arm around her.
“You didn’t agree with me either when I said they’d find him, did you?”
I hesitated. “…They might.”
“Grayson sure doesn’t agree with me,” Cassie continued mournfully. “But I really believe Father isn’t gone forever.”
I squeezed Cassie’s shoulder.
“Remember the snowdrops Father sent—for hope,” Cassie smiled up at me, and I tried to reciprocate, but a smile wouldn’t come. “Don’t lose hope, Freya…remember the snowdrops.”

(I’m ending it here; it got way longer than I intended heh-)
1,166 words

PART TWO: Write at least 300 words on an existing or made-up constellation’s creation.

Crisp evening air blew gently across the lake, and Millicent glanced up to watch as the leaves rustled in the breeze. A soft, absentminded smile spread across her face as she caught sight of a dozen swallows flying directly above the rippled waters, their coats gleaming in the sunset.
The picture gave her fresh inspiration, and she returned her focus to the sketchpad in her lap, beginning to make pencil strokes in new directions.
Time flew by without attention as the young artist sketched to her heart’s content, forgetting the outside world. The sunset soon turned to dusk, but she still remained on the bank, quietly drawing.
A shadow loomed over her sketchbook, and she turned. Keen green eyes met her gaze.
“Nice drawing, Picasso.”
Millicent smirked, scooting over to make space on the bench. “Very funny, Nathan.”
Nathan sat down beside her, his eyes remaining on the work of art in her lap; an intricate picture of the very lake before them. “It’s amazing.”
“You say that every time,” Millicent waved away his compliment, blushing.
“Of course, because it’s true. It’s better than Picasso, even.”
He winked and she laughed, closing her book and packing away her pencils. “I’m not so sure about that—but thanks. What brings you here?”
“Came to find you,” Nathan replied, standing up to pick up a smooth, flat stone from the bank. “Have you seen the news?”
Millicent glanced up at him as he walked towards the lake. “What news?”
“A new constellation has been discovered,” he explained over his shoulder. “I managed to spot it myself last night.”
Nathan flicked his wrist and sent the stone skipping far across the lake.
“A new constellation?” Millicent repeated with disbelief.
“Yeah.”
“How?”
“Astronomers are still trying to figure it out,” Nathan smirked, retracing his steps back to the bench. “People actually caught footage of when it happened.”
“Footage??”
Nathan raised an eyebrow. “Have you been living under a rock these past few days?”
Millicent rolled her eyes. “No, I’ve been drawing…please tell me what’s been going on. What happened in the footage?”
“It was like a meteor shower going backwards; there were dozens of stars flying up into the sky, and one by one they just froze and formed the constellation.”
“…Actually?”
“I would show you if I had brought my phone!” Nathan insisted, laughing at his friend’s baffled expression.
“Well, what do they say caused it?” Millicent pressed.
“Some assume it was a science experiment or something wild like that; others say God decided to make a new constellation…a few joked that the stars changed their mind about shooting down and went back up!”
Millicent laughed, looking up at the darkening sky. She tilted her head.
“Where is it? Can you show me?”
Nathan smiled and jumped off the bench. “Follow me!”


“Have they named it yet?”
“Nope,” Nathan answered, reaching up to brush the leaves of the trees they passed. “They’ll probably do that soon, though.”
Millicent grinned. “Why don’t we name it first?”
Nathan turned to her, and a smile spread on his face.
“Let’s do it before they do.”
He turned about and ran, and Millicent laughed, tearing after him. They soon crested a hill with a broken but homely brick wall; a place they often came to, Millicent to draw, and Nathan to stargaze.
Nathan climbed up the wall as Millicent put her sketchpad and pencils down in the grass to follow him, and soon they were seated high up. From there they could see half of the city with its hundreds of lights shining, and, looking up, they could see the stars.
“Where is it?” Millicent murmured, taking in the splendour of the view.
Nathan scanned the star-streaked skies, before pointing south. “There.”
Millicent leaned closer to him and followed his finger. Her eyes lit up.
“…Wow.”
Nathan smiled, lowering his hand. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?”
“It’s…beautiful,” Millicent stared up with wonder, tracing the shape of a flame with her eyes. “It looks like a fire.”
Nathan nodded. “I thought so too. It’s quite a marvel, isn’t it?”
“Mm,” Millicent said absentmindedly, gazing at the constellation with mesmerised eyes.
“What shall we call it?”
Millicent squinted, deep in thought. “I honestly don’t know—something related to what it looks like, perhaps.”
“Ignis?” Nathan suggested.
Millicent raised an eyebrow. “That’s latin, right?”
“Yeah.”
“It could work…or maybe we should name it something nobody else would call it,” Millicent glanced at Nathan, eyes twinkling. “Something just for us.”
Nathan frowned thoughtfully, then smiled. “How about we name it after you? Millicent sounds like a nice name for a star.”
“No,” Millicent rolled her eyes, and Nathan smirked.
“Why not?”
Millicent paused, thinking. “How about both of our names?”
“What, like a mix of them?”
“Yeah,” Millicent turned back to the new star formation. “Like…Millithan?”
Nathan snorted, and Millicent narrowed her eyes at him. “What? Do you have a better idea?”
“No,” Nathan chuckled, shaking his head and staring back up at the sky. “I like it, actually…it has a nice ring to it.”

(I hardly know how to end this, so I’ll just stop here hhh :’))
850 words


PART THREE: Make an aesthetics set with at least five images, based on either part one or part two.
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/720884239/ I put it in an existing project, it’s in the sprite called ‘SWC aesthetic’ I chose my part one.

Part Four: SWC Fan-Fiction
(I was speedrunning this, so please ignore any mistakes :'D Not my best, but I hope you enjoy ashkjilkbgfsfgjk-)
Featuring: @Novanuhea123, @-lxve-bug-, @surfdudewave, @Zionykon, @pepper-and-a-pencil, @TokoWrites, @-Wraiith and @smartypantschlo.
Theme: the fire from my constellation from part two

“CABIN WARS IS STARTING SOON!!” A voice cried excitedly.
Tilly heard the door slam open, followed by approaching footsteps, and she turned to see Pepper running into the cabin with paper flying in all directions. “Are you guys ready??”
“Certainly,” Bella replied, rubbing her hands together in a mock-evil way. “What’s our strategy?”
“That’s why I’m here,” Pepper explained, grabbing a seat and sitting down with her fellow campers, and they all turned to her eagerly. “We should discuss it now so it doesn’t get too chaotic like last time.”
“That’s what makes it fun though, is it not?” Toko smirked.
Pepper rolled her eyes. “Of course, but being prepared helps us win the wars. So, any strategy ideas?”
“I think we should save our mangoes this time,” Tilly suggested. “They would’ve been really useful in the previous cabin wars when we were warred by Sci-Fi last minute.”
“Definitely!” Pepper smiled, riffling through the pieces of paper in her hands before writing on one of them.
“Hello, allies!”
The campers turned to see Chloe peeking in from the doorway, hazel eyes sparkling. “Cabin wars is starting! Are you guys ready?”
“Yep,” Pepper replied, waving her paper in the air. “Just getting in some final strategies. How are you all in Fairy Tale doing?”
“Doing great! We’re just planning our victory and stocking up our supply of motivation mangoes. We have plenty, so if you need any, feel free to ask!”
Bella laughed. “We will, thanks Chloe! Good luck.”
“You too!” Chloe grinned, before slipping out of the room.
Pepper turned back to her team. “Right, the wars start in five minutes. Places, everyone!”
The Script campers went to their desks to get their laptops, notebooks and phones in preparation for the first war.
“I wonder which cabin is going to war us first,” Toko said with a wry smile. “Like I don’t already know who it might me.”
“Cabin wars!” Someone yelled from outside the door.
Tilly closed her eyes with a sigh. “Let me guess…Sci-Fi?”
The newcomer entered, and sure enough, it was Surf from Sci-Fi. “Hello, fellow enemies—are you ready for your first war?”
“Of course we are, never been more prepared,” Bella replied sarcastically.
“You must write two thousand words as a cabin in the next four hours, or you lose one thousand points,” Surf grinned. “And for your extra challenge, you must use three song titles in your writing! Every cabin member who does this can claim twenty five points in the main cabin. Only up to six campers can claim points, resulting in one hundred and fifty points maximum.”
“Great,” Toko muttered. “Is that all?”
“Yes,” Surf smirked, before turning to leave. “Good luck, Scripters—or what do you call yourselves?”
“Thespians,” Pepper corrected. “And good luck to you too…for when we war you, I mean.”
Surf narrowed her eyes. “We’ll see about that!”
With that, Surf left, and Pepper turned to her cabinmates. “Alright, there’s our first war. Our shield is up now for three hours, but we have two thousand words to write in four hours, plus a challenge to do. Let’s get writing before another cabin comes to make it harder—we’ve got this!”
“Script for the win!” Tilly exclaimed.
“Script for the win!” Her fellow campers echoed, before everyone turned to the task before them.
The thespians worked hard for a good half an hour, typing or scribbling away at the stories and essays they had to write.
“I’ve written three hundred words for some English homework,” A camper called. “That’s three hundred out of two thousand.”
“I’ve written two hundred words for a story I’m writing!” Another camper added. “So that’s five hundred out of two thousand.”
“Great job, guys!” Pepper noted down the tally. “Has anyone done the extra challenge yet?”
“Working on that!” Toko called from her station.
“I’ve just finished mine!” Tilly raised her hand. “I’ll go and claim the points in the main cabin right now.”
“I’ve done it, too!” Bella jumped up from her seat. “Wait for me, Tilly!”
“Nice work, you two!” Pepper called after them as they left the cabin. “Let’s keep working, everyone.”
The Script campers continued to work fervently. It hadn’t even been a minute since Bella and Tilly left, when they suddenly came rushing back into the theatre.
“Guys, something’s happened!” Bella exclaimed.
“The main cabin is on fire!” Tilly gasped.
Their cabinmates raced out of their cabin with Bella and Tilly, and as they neared the main cabin, a few campers from other cabins ran towards them.
“What happened??” Toko called when they were in earshot.
“A bit of chaos occurred,” Nova, a camper from Myth, explained, shooting a look at three Poetry campers and a few Thriller campers who stood beside her. “Between Poetry and Thriller.”
“And Sci-Fi trying to get back to the top,” Seven added, arms crossed. “It wasn’t just us.”
“Hey, it’s not our fault you cabins set the main cabin on fire with flaming mangoes!” Zion retorted. “We had no part in it, did we?”
Zion’s fellow Sci-Fi campers agreed. The Script campers glanced at each other.
Pepper sighed. “The leaders leave for a few hours, and you get up to all of this?”
“Well, we need to put the fire out, and quickly!” Bella urged. “Before the leaders get back.”
“Wait!” Chloe cried from amongst her cabinmates. “Where’s Gurtle??”
The Poetry, Thriller and Sci-Fi campers glanced at each other, and everyone gasped.
“You left him in the main cabin??” Tilly exclaimed.
“We need to go back for him!” Nova gasped, but the Poetry and Thriller campers had already taken off. “Come on, everyone!”
The campers raced back to the main cabin in a near frenzy, where smoke was rising from multiple parts of the building. A few campers ran the opposite direction to grab fire extinguishers, while the others went towards the cabin entrance, covering their mouths and noses with their sleeves.
“Gurtle??” Chloe yelled. “Gurtle, are you there?”
“He won’t answer, you know,” A Fairy Tale camper remarked.
The campers returned with fire extinguishers and handed a few to the others, and before long, the raging flames were put out with the snow-like foam.
They all put down their extinguishers and rushed into the cabin. “Gurtle?”

A few campers hurried ahead of the rest to a lounge area that was untouched by the arson chaos.
“There he is!” Nova exclaimed.
Everyone turned, and sure enough, there was Gurtle, calmly munching on a link.
Tilly winced. “I hope that link isn’t important.”
The other campers caught up, and everyone sighed with relief.
“What’s going on here?”
The campers spun around to see Moonlit, Luna and Starr standing at the doorway with surprised expressions.

(I’ve gtg now, so I'll end here)
1,131 words

TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN: 3,147 Words

daily #21 - poetry asghjkldk-
My poem is about: writing
(pov: You hardly know how to write good poetry, but want to get more points for your cabin ashfkdjddsghjkds-
I bring you…a novice attempt at poetry :’))

A Writer Trying Poetry

I’m having trouble with this daily
Because poetry I can’t do so gaily
Writing is more my forte
But even that I can’t do all day;
Sometimes it makes me want to scream
Somedays I just go and daydream
About stories unwritten that I could write
If finding motivation weren’t such a fight!

When I do it’s pretty fun,
But when I look back on what I’ve done
My reaction to the pieces are one of the two:
“Wow, I wrote that!” Or “What did you do??”
Don’t get me started on the first one I wrote
Do I even remember? I’m pretty sure I don’t,
But the earliest one I recall in my mind
Is too weird to share, but I suppose it’s one of a kind.

About the current story I’m writing
The plot is rather enticing,
But all the research it calls for
Of times we don’t live in anymore
Has me, I must confess
In a state of mild stress.

But nevertheless, the enjoyment
Seems to return despite some torment
And I can’t seem to tear myself away
From the prospect of being published one day.

Huh, I suppose I didn’t do too bad
On this attempt at poetry, but now I’m just glad
That it’s finally over, because this wasn’t the best
But SCRIPT FOR THE WIN, let’s beat the rest!

226 words, FiNaLlY, dOnE :’D

daily #22 - pathetic fallacy

Caileigh twirled around slowly, eyes twinkling in response to the serene landscape around her.
The sun beamed in golden rays, illuminating the dancing emerald grass and babbling brooks with merriment. Swallows and magpies flitted about the treetops as their shrill little voices composed melodies. With her eyes she followed a swallow’s journey as it dived through the leaves that rustled in the laughing wind, before lighting on a delicate branch and singing to its friends.
As she continued to walk down the path, she trailed her fingers across the bright petals of the daisies that lined the way, and they turned their heads towards her, their lemon faces seeming to smile at her gentleness. The long blades of grass waved as she passed, causing her to smile as she soaked in the beauty of the plains stretching out before her.
The terrain soon sloped into a steep hill, teasing her with a dare, and with a grin she quickened her pace to a full pelt, letting the gravity carry her down. She went so fast it felt like she was flying, and she began to laugh, spreading her arms out and watching as the ground raced by in a blur of sage-green and floral colours. The hill eventually evened out, reverting back into relatively flat plains, and Caileigh slowed to a stop, bending with her hands on her knees as she fought to catch her breath.
Hearing the laugh of a brook, she glanced up, and her eyes met racing azure waters that housed saffron-orange fish. She walked towards it and smiled as she watched the golden fish splashing through the stream, fins wagging cheerfully.
Eventually she retired from watching the nature, laying down in the sun-warmed grass and closing her eyes, an absentminded grin spreading across her face.

302 words
Can you guess the emotion?

interviewed by @lilyjen

“My name is Tilly,” the interviewee replied, hoping she didn't look suspicious. “I was grocery shopping at Mango Mart this morning.”

“Uhm- sure,” Tilly replied, cautiously reaching over to take one.

“I haven't eaten the mangoes yet,” Tilly replied firmly. “I bought them to save for later- for a party my neighbour is hosting.”

Tilly frowned. “Of course not. Why would I do that?”

“I thought it was strawberry..?” Tilly mumbled, before her eyes widened. “Actually, I don't know what you're talking about…I haven't been to my neighbour's backyard where they're setting up the party, not since yesterday.”

“No, no, not when it happened! Before,” Tilly retorted. “I came over yesterday to help them set up. They brought out the cake a few minutes before I left, so I wouldn't have had time to eat it!”

“Maya, the neighbour, sent me a picture of it and said so in her text. Um, I meant I THOUGHT it would be strawberry, because Maya said she wanted a strawberry cake- and what pinata?”

“Oh, the pink pinata?” Tilly perked up. “Because I bought it for them. I'm no cake thief.”

“Um, maybe, but she won't answer, she's busy!” Tilly replied hastily. “I don't think there's any need to bother her!”

“No suspicious behaviour going on here, I can assure you,” Tilly said, breathing a sigh.

Tilly gasped, jumping up from her seat. “Maya?!”

231 words

daily #27 - google translated song lyrics
song I chose: Tek It by Cafuné
“And how much patience can I expect? Hmm
And you can't just say spades.
i see the moon
let me control my mood
I can't stop thinking about you.
I'm looking at you (please let go now)
(and watch how things progress)
Nice to meet you”

“Are we there yet??” Sophie whined, burying her face in her book and groaning loudly.
Riley sighed, barely opening her eyes as she rested her head on the cold train window. “No, Sophie…you’ve asked a hundred times now. How much patience can I expect from you, hmm?”
“None,” Sophie decided indignantly, before glaring at her book. “Ugh, my book still smells like smoke, and I hate it!”
Sophie chucked her book away, and Riley winced as it landed on the floor in front of another passenger a few paces away from them. Riley flashed a frown at her little sister.
“Don’t do that, Sophie,” she warned, colouring with embarrassment. “It’s impolite. Go get your book and apologise immediately.”
Sophie slumped in her seat and crossed her arms. “I just want to go back home. Where are we even going, anyway??”
Riley shook her head and resumed to lean on the window; she was too tired to argue right then.
She felt a hand tap her shoulder and turned to see a boy around her age standing in front of her. He was holding Sophia’s journal.
“Is this yours?”
Riley winced, accepting the book from his hand. “I’m so sorry—yeah…well, it’s my sister’s. Thanks.”
He nodded, running a hand through his dark hair and glancing at Sophie. “That was a far throw, I must say.”
Riley turned red, but Sophie actually smiled. “Thanks!”
“It won’t happen again, right?” Riley gave her sister a warning look as she handed her book back.
“No, I suppose,” Sophie sighed, rolling her eyes as she took her book.
She tucked it into her bag and turned to the guy. “I’m Sophie, and that’s Riley. What’s your name?”
“My name is Coren,” he smiled back, stealing a glance at Riley as if to ask for permission to talk to her sister.
Riley hesitated, wanting to remind Sophie not to talk to strangers, but she thought better of it and kept her mouth shut, giving a shrug in reply to Coren’s questioning gaze. What harm could it do? They were all on the same journey, ‘in this together’, as they always say.
“Did you come from Spades, too?” Sophie asked.
Riley frowned. “Sophie, it’s Spadens. You can’t just say ‘spades’.”
Sophie stuck her tongue out, and Coren struggled to stifle a laugh.
“No—I was evacuated from the Isles…but it’s close enough to Spades, right?”
Sophie grinned, and Riley narrowed her eyes at Coren despite the slight smile that tugged at the corners of her lips.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Riley shook her head, turning back to the window once more.
She watched as the rolling plains sped by, barely listening as Coren and Sophie conversed. Sophie had even scooted over and invited Coren to sit down, but Riley didn’t say anything. She only sat and looked up at the moon shining in the darkened sky, her mind going back to the home they were leaving behind…to her parents they were leaving behind.
Things had gotten too dangerous in Spadens, and her parents had sent her and Sophie away to keep safe from the war that was destroying their home. Riley was anxious about her parents and couldn’t stop thinking about them, but she tried to reassure herself that they would be okay.
“Riley, smile—you look too gloomy,” Sophie said, nudging Coren. “She’s been looking mournful all day.”
“Let me control my own mood—I can be gloomy or happy if I want to,” Riley muttered, eyes still on the moon.
“You have been looking quite down,” Coren agreed, and Riley looked at him. “Why don’t you lighten up a little? It isn’t the end of the world.”
He was smiling slightly, but there was an edge of sympathetic understanding in his expression. Riley shrugged, colouring.
“I- I guess…I just—I don’t know.”
“Please let go, now, of whatever’s bothering you; for the moment we can only watch how things progress and help each other out, right?”
Sophie smiled. “Right!”
Riley slowly nodded. “…Right.”
“Coren, are you coming back?” The three of them glanced back to see a dark-haired girl who was sitting next to the seat Coren had left.
“Yeah, sure—in a couple years,” he smirked, before standing up and turning to his new friends. “Sorry, my sister wants me to come back, so I suppose I have to go…Riley and Sophie, right?”
“Yep,” Sophie replied. “ Riley and Sophie Wickham. I do hope we will meet again, soon.”
Riley rolled her eyes. “Uh huh…thanks for keeping her quiet, by the way. It was nice to meet you.”
Sophie frowned, and Coren’s smile broadened. “Of course; I could tell she was being quite a handful.”
“Hey!” Sophie scolded, and Coren laughed.
“I’m only playing with you!” He reasoned, nudging her playfully before returning his attention to Riley. “It was nice to meet you too, Riley Wickham…it’s Coren Vince if you ever need to find me. Cheerio, and keep hold of that book, Sophie.”
Sophie giggled and waved as Coren left, and Riley found herself smiling. Sophie caught her look and smirked.
“If you start singing that song, I’ll leave you on the train when we stop,” Riley threatened, giving her sister a glare. “I hardly know him, you know.”

883 words

word war with: -simplywatermelon-

These pages still smell like smoke…And I hate it.
I was honestly mourning for all the books there, for this library. I couldn’t believe a fire had started here. But now all the books were ruined, some burned to a crisp, others just smelling of smoke, and the rest burned completely to ashes.
It was horrid.
We all watched in silence as the fire brigade worked to put out the remaining fire. Smoke was billowing from multiple places, but the danger was pretty much gone. I picked up a crispy book from the floor beside my foot, and sighed.
It was one of my favourites.
I dropped it again, continuing to watch as the last fire was put out. The police were there too, and a lot of talk was going on as they tried to figure out who set fire to our town library. The ambulance was here too, but thankfully nobody was hurt, just stunned.
Some speculated that the librarian did it, but I didn’t believe them. Ms Forsyth would never—she loves books, she had always been so kind, and this place had become a second home to her. She also seemed very upset about the fire, so I highly doubt it was her. I suppose people could hide their true intentions very well, but I’ve known Ms Forsyth for years, I always came here, and she never seemed like someone who would burn down the library.
She WAS the last person in here, but it wasn’t her. I know it.
To be honest, I don’t even have a guess as to who it was…there’s so many people in this town, and I can’t think of anyone who would possibly do such a thing.
Maybe it was my brother—he always hated books.
But no, of course not, he wouldn’t do

306 words

writing comp entry for critique

Hi May! Thank you so much for doing this <33 This is more of an excerpt of a story, but can stand alone. It's from a Hi-Fi story I wrote a while back about the RMS Titanic. I couldn't decide between the happy or sad ending, so I put both here so you can tell me which one flows better ig? I gtg, but thanks again! <3

Atlantic Down (how's the title by the way?)
Someone was shaking me, and a distant voice was clamouring for my attention, but I couldn’t bring myself to heed to what was disturbing my sleep.
“Freddy? Freddy, you must get up!”
I could no longer ignore it, for the voice was becoming louder, and the shaking more persistent, forcing me to wake up. I propped myself up on one elbow, rubbing my eyes and blinking to clear my vision.
“Mother..? What time is it? Is it morning already?”
“No, it’s only just gone midnight—around thirty minutes ago,” Mother replied hastily, turning to the door and taking my coat down from one of the hooks. “But…”
She shook her head and closed her mouth, seeming to think better of whatever she was going to say.
I was fully awake now, and an unsettling feeling of worry was rising in me. “Mother, what’s wrong? Where’s Father?”
“He- the ship hit something a short while ago. Your father left to see what’s going on…”
I sat up properly, starting to panic. “What do you mean?? Are we—is the ship sinking?”
“No, no darling! It can’t be, dear…they all said the RMS Titanic is unsinkable,” Mother answered, but her voice rose in pitch as she fumbled at the buttons of my coat. Her hands were shaking, and I only felt more afraid.
“There might be some damage done, though…I don’t know. Here, Freddy, put your coat on—and your boots too. We need to find your father and see if he’s found anything out yet. Come on!”
Soon, Mother was leading me hurriedly out of our little bedroom and down the whitewashed hallways of the ship. I was still rather tired, but I did my best to keep up with Mother’s hasty pace as she led me round one turn, then another. Soon we reached a crowd of people who were standing at one of the gates that blocked us from accessing the higher decks.
I couldn’t see much of what was going on, due to everyone towering above me, but from listening intently and noting the passengers’ brisk scurrying, I could tell things weren’t going as well as I hoped.
Mother glanced around the room, her eyes searching earnestly. “Freddy, come, get up on my shoulders…do be careful—there we go. Can you see your father?”
From the height of Mother’s shoulders I scanned the crowd, searching each face. “I don’t see him…oh, there! I see him. Father!!”
I waved wildly and yelled out to get Father’s attention. He turned to acknowledge the commotion I was causing, and his eyes lit up. Mother spotted him as well and waved, helping me down from her shoulders as Father made his way towards us.
“Elizabeth! Hey, Freddy,” Father gave me a quick hug before turning to Mother, taking her hand. “What are you doing out here? Is everything all right?”
Mother shook her head, her anxious expression returning. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it…something doesn’t feel right, Leonard. Did you find anything out about what’s going on?”
“I’ve been asking round and listening, but all I know is that the ship did hit something…what it was, I don’t know. She might have suffered some damage, but some believe that it’s only minor, and are returning to their rooms—most are saying and doing otherwise. And now, it seems that…”
Father paused as a man began calling to catch everyone’s attention. “Pass up the women and children! All women and children must come up and get on the lifeboats immediately! Men, stay where you are!”
I rounded on Father. “What? Does that mean..?”
“They’re evacuating passengers off the ship—I think…” Father hesitated, locking eyes with Mother. “I think you both should get on a lifeboat, quickly.”
Mother shook her head slowly, and my heart quickened.
“Father, what about you?? You can’t just be left down here, what kind of rule is that? Father, you can’t!”
Father shook his head, crouching down to my height. “Freddy, we’ll still get on a lifeboat, don’t worry! It’s just women and children first, and then they’ll let us up when there aren’t women or children around. So I need you to go with your mother and get on a boat, all right?”
“Is the ship sinking?” I whispered, a lump forming in my throat. “What if it sinks before you get off?”
“I don’t think the ship is sinking; I believe it’s just a precaution,” Father squeezed my hand. “I’ll be fine.”
He rose to his normal height and turned to Mother. “Please, get off this ship with Freddy, Elizabeth. I’ll be off soon as well, don’t worry about me.”
Mother bit her lip, then shook her head again. “Leonard, they might let you go—I can’t leave you here. Please come and try!”
Mother grabbed hold of my hand and Father’s, beginning to lead us towards the gates.
“I’m not sure, Elizabeth…” Father answered sceptically, but Mother didn’t seem to be listening.
We reached a man at the gate who was directing women and children out, and he advanced towards us as soon as he noticed our approach.
“Another woman and child? Thank you. Come, ma’am, let’s go—you too, my lad.”
I stumbled back from his outstretched hand, gripping Father’s arm. “But what about Father?? Surely he can come with us?”
“I’m sorry, lad, but I’m just following orders. Come along, now, we don’t have much time.”
Mother stared at Father, her eyes silently pleading, and I held his arm tighter.
“I’m not leaving! Not without you, Father, please!”
Another group of women and children caught the man’s attention, and he became occupied with them while he waited for us. Father knelt down in front of me.
“Frederick…it’s okay. I can’t come yet, because there’s still others like you that need to get off, but I’ll be on a boat as well before you know it,” Father whispered with a soft smile, bringing something out of his coat pocket. “Go with your mother now—we’ll be together soon, my son. Here, take this—hold on to it for me until we reunite; look after it, Freddy.”
I stared, tears welling up in my eyes, as Father opened my hand a placed a shining, copper-coloured object into my palm, before closing my fingers over it. He stood up again and turned to Mother.
“Leonard, I…”
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Don’t worry about me…get Freddy off here, I’ll be all right.”
Mother shook her head, but Father embraced her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. I could hear her whispering something, but couldn’t catch the words.
The man at the gate returned to us. “Are you ready? Spaces are running out.”
Father nodded, reaching for me to give me a hug. “Go.”
Mother looked torn, but she promptly gripped my hand and wiped her tears away hastily, nodding to the man. “…Yes. Please, lead the way.”
The man ushered us towards the gate, but I turned back, hesitating.
“Father,” I cried, tears running off my cheeks. He caught my words and smiled after me.
“Don’t fret, Frederick—stay with each other, okay? We’ll be together soon!”
“Promise me,” I pleaded, my voice cracking.
He nodded. “I promise I’ll be all right.”
“Come on, lad,” the man took my hand and led me to follow him and Mother.
I glanced back once more as we were led away, seeing Father waving us off with a smile. I tightened my grip on the pocket clock in my hand as I lost sight of him in the crowds.

(should it end happily for them, or should it end sad? I actually can’t decide hhh- I’ll do both, and can you tell me which one you prefer?)

(Sad ending)
Crowds of thousands were gathered on the soaking wet docks, taking me aback as we moved through the masses to find a place of refuge. There was so many of them, searching for and reuniting with the passengers who were disembarking from the ship we had just left, and none of them seemed fazed by the heavy rain that was pouring down from the overcast skies above.
We found a small area on the dock with less people, and I found a long white railing that was perfect for me to sit up high and get a view of everything. Mother watched as I climbed up, shielding her eyes from the torrential rain as she handed me her umbrella.
“Will you be okay here, Freddy? I need to go and talk to an official for a moment.”
I nodded, raising the umbrella over my head to block out the downpour.
Satisfied, Mother ventured back into the crowds, and I watched her from my perch, waving whenever she turned back to check on me.
As I was sitting silently, I felt a continuous vibrating sensation against my leg. I reached into my pocket, and my hand grazed the cold, hard surface of Father’s pocket clock.
Intense emotions rushed back to me, and my eyes stung as I brought it out and flipped open the cover. I watched as the spidery hands flicked across the small Roman numerals, and a tear splashed down my cheek. I dashed it away and continued to stare at the clock, wishing I could turn its hands back, and time along with it.
Wishing Father had stayed with us. Wishing that we had never set foot on that blasted ship.
I clicked the lid shut and squeezed my fingers over it. Once I confirmed where Mother was, I rested my chin on my fisted hand and closed my eyes, listening to the rain battering my umbrella.

(Happy ending)
I awoke to the sounds of rain battering the windows of the Carpathia, accompanied by distant thunder. I yawned, propping myself up and turning to see Mother still sleeping soundly. Pulling the pocket clock out, I checked the time, wondering how long it had been since I slept. It read 7am.
I quietly slid off the bed and creeped over to the window to see where we were, but fog completely obscured any distant views. Thoughts of Father suddenly rushed back to me, and I glanced over at Mother. She was still asleep, and I didn’t want to disturb her, so I silently left our little room to search myself. I had been lying awake for hours wondering if he was even on this ship, and couldn’t wait much longer to find out.
I went down hallway after hallway, trying to find my way to the top decks, but I soon began to feel quite lost. I noticed a man walking past the next passage, and I raced after him.
“Excuse me, sir!”
The man turned, and I skidded to a stop. “What?”
I ignored the man’s snappy tone, actually feeling a twinge of sympathy for him. “Do you know the way to the top deck?”
The man sighed, rubbing his eyes before turning to the corridor before us and pointing ahead. “Down there…turn left and you’ll see the way up.”
I smiled my appreciation, running on. “Thank you, sir!”
“It’s pouring out there, mind you!” He called after me, but I didn’t pay much attention.
I leapt up a few steps and found myself back on the deck we had been on that long night. I squinted as rain battered my face, trying to see where I was going as I stepped further out. The man wasn’t kidding—it was raining quite a bit.
I quickly realised I had forgotten my coat and grimaced, wrapping my arms around myself to keep from the cold and deciding to be quick about this. I was surprised to see a few people outside despite the downpour, all doing their own things.
The rain and fog obscured my vision as I stumbled across the deck, suddenly thinking better of coming up in the first place. I spotted someone who looked like they could help me find Father and made my way towards them, trying to keep my balance. I shielded my eyes from the showers to keep sight of the person, but bumped into someone else that I hadn’t noticed standing nearby.
“Sorry!” I said before they could scold me, trying to hurry past, but they grabbed my arm.
“Hey, are you all right…?”
My heart skipped a beat and I stumbled back, clenching the pocket clock so tight it hurt my hand.
“Father!!”
My cry caused some people’s heads to turn as I rushed into his arms, and he lifted me right off the deck floor, laughing as I cried tears of joy. “Oh, Father!”
“Freddy,” he whispered.
The rain was quickly soaking me, but I didn’t care. I clung to Father as if I could never let go, crying on his shoulder as he hugged me close.
He put me back down on the floor and knelt in front of me as I held on to his neck, smiling that smile I loved so dearly.
“What are you doing out in this rain?” He laughed as we both wiped our tears.
“I came to find you!” I cried, before digging a hand into my pocket. “Here—I kept it for you…”
He smiled as I opened my hand to give him the pocket clock, before reaching and closing my fingers over it. “You keep it, Freddy…I want you to have it.”
A smile spread across my face, and I threw my arms around his neck again, unexplainable gratitude filling me as I heard his laugh once more.

1,585 words with sad ending, 1,924 words with happy ending

critique for ap0l0

Wow. That was a rollercoaster haha-
I’ve been a reader of your work for some years now, and your way with words is always so poetic and enticing, May! I love how well you tapped into the emotions of your characters, and this piece was really good! <3
I like the little parts in between as well where you jumped between the past and the present, really nice addition!
My critique is more on the grammar and syntax, (and reading back, I hope this isn’t too nit-picky :’D), but with that being said, here’s my critique! :

“Snow held us captive, our breaths shuddering in the winter air” sounds better to me than “shuddering in winter air” personally

“But sorrow lingered in their eyes just a little too long.” Being a bit nit-picky, but I think the ‘just’ isn’t needed!

“Setting the world aflame” could be inspiration for the title :0 It sounds so poetic haha!

“A match lit in Adair's chest; resentment laced his words when he said, "But this is his home.”” I feel like this sentence could be restructured a little; perhaps “A match lit in Adair’s chest. *new line* “But this is his home,” he said, resentment lacing his words/his words laced with resentment.” Something of the like, it doesn’t have to be exactly that—the pacing of the sentence just feels a bit odd.

The paragraph from “Adair’s mother broke it first” to “A home that let him fall” could be reworded a bit as well. I think if you moved some sentences around a bit it would flow better, like (again, just an example):
“This was a home that failed your Papa, that didn't keep him safe.”
Her voice shook, the shudder of someone at the edge, looking down.
At the edge of this stilted normality, this pretence of everything is fine, don't worry; of Papa passed away, it's not important how. This act that had spanned Adair’s whole life, since the day his father died.
A sob broke through when she murmured, “A home that let him fall.”
I feel like it makes a bit more sense, if that makes sense!

“Muffled footsteps sounded against the stairs, and Adair greeted his mother with a beaming grin.” This part is a bit confusing to me- was Adair going up the stairs or his mother coming down?

“rubbing muddied hands against his trousers, and wiping sweat from his brow” I personally don’t think you need the c0mma (forums doesn't want me writing it normally for some reason :')) after ‘trousers’!

“Muffled footsteps sounded against the stairs, and Adair greeted his mother with a beaming grin.” This part is a bit confusing to me- was Adair going up the stairs or his mother coming down?

“Her silence spoke multitudes” can I just say, I love that sentence! :0

“Rage coiled Adair's heart like a barbed wire” This one too, ahh, your writing is so good!

I feel like having the ‘Adair started.’ slows down the pace a bit, so removing it would make it flow better into the “Don’t you dare!” part if that makes sense!

“lips pulling into a grin that even the sun could not rival” I’m just fangirling at your way of words at this point—bahaha, love this sentence as well

“A voice that made him open his eyes, look up into his mother's face” I think adding an ‘and’ between ‘eyes’ and ‘look’ instead of a comma would help the sentence flow better.

‘Making sure' instead of ‘made’ sure also would have the same effect in my opinion!

The ending ahhh-
Overall, this is great! I’m happy you chose not to k!ll him off hehe I hope this critique somewhat helped, and thank you for critiquing mine! <33

Title ideas: Aflame, Your/The Bridge is Falling Down, Setting the World Aflame, Fallen/Falling, The Fallen Bridge, Home/This is Home-
Just to start you off, these aren't particularly amazing :’D But hopefully it gives you some inspiration!

625 words

Atlantic Down
(an SWC writing competition entry)

Someone shook me from the darkness, and a distant voice clamoured for my attention, but I couldn’t bring myself to heed to what was disturbing my sleep.
“Freddy? Freddy, you must get up!”
I could no longer ignore it, for the voice was becoming louder and the shaking more persistent, forcing me to wake up. I propped myself up on one elbow, rubbing my eyes and blinking to clear my vision.
“Mother…What time is it? Is it morning already?”
“No, it’s only just gone midnight—around thirty minutes ago,” Mother replied hastily, turning to the door and taking my coat down from one of the hooks. “But…”
She shook her head and pursed her lips, seeming to think better of whatever she was going to say.
I was fully awake now, and an unsettling feeling of worry was rising in me. “Mother, what’s wrong? Where’s Father?”
“He- the ship hit something a short while ago…your father left to see what’s going on.”
I sat up properly, starting to panic. “What do you mean? Are we—is the ship sinking?”
“No, no darling! It can’t be, dear…they all said the RMS Titanic is unsinkable,” Mother answered, but her voice rose in pitch as she fumbled at the buttons of my coat. Her hands were shaking, and I only felt more afraid.
“There might be some damage, though…I don’t know. Here, Freddy, put your coat on—and your boots too. We need to find your father and see if he’s found anything out. Come on!”
Soon, Mother was leading me hurriedly out of our little bedroom and down the whitewashed hallways of the ship. My eyelids were growing heavy, and each movement demanded effort, but I did my best to keep up with Mother’s hasty pace as she led me round one turn, then another. Soon we reached a crowd of people who were standing at the gates that blocked us from accessing the higher decks.
I couldn’t see much of what was going on, due to everyone towering above me, but from listening intently and noting the passengers’ brisk scurrying, I could tell things weren’t going as well as I hoped.
Mother glanced around the room, her eyes searching earnestly. “Freddy, come, get up on my shoulders…do be careful—there we go. Do you see your father?”
From the height of Mother’s shoulders I scanned the crowd, searching each face. “I don’t see him…oh, there! I found him. Father!”
I waved wildly and yelled out to get Father’s attention. He turned to acknowledge the commotion I was causing, and his eyes lit up. Mother spotted him as well and waved, helping me down from her shoulders as Father made his way towards us.
“Elizabeth! Hey, Freddy,” Father gave me a quick hug before turning to Mother, taking her hand. “What are you doing out here? Is everything okay?”
Mother shook her head, her anxious expression returning. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it…something doesn’t feel right, Leonard. Did you find out anything about what’s going on?”
“I’ve been asking round and listening, but all I know is that the ship did hit something…what it was, I don’t know. She might have suffered some damage, but some believe that it’s only minor, and are returning to their rooms—most are saying and doing otherwise. And now, it seems that…”
Father paused as a man began calling to catch everyone’s attention.
“Pass up the women and children! All women and children must come up and get on the lifeboats immediately! Men, stay where you are!”
I rounded on Father. “Does that mean..?”
“They’re evacuating passengers off the ship—I think…” Father hesitated, stroking the old scar on his cheek thoughtfully.
“What?” I whispered.
He locked eyes with Mother. “I think you both should get on a lifeboat, quickly.”
Mother began to shake her head, and my heart quickened.
“Father, what about you? You can’t just be left down here, what kind of rule is that? Father, you can’t!”
Father shook his head, crouching down to my height. “Freddy, we’ll still get on a lifeboat, don’t worry! It’s just women and children first, and then they’ll let us up when there aren’t women or children around. So I need you to go with your mother and get on a boat, all right?”
“Is the ship sinking?” I whispered, a lump forming in my throat. “What if it sinks before you get off?”
“I don’t think the ship is sinking; I believe it’s just a precaution,” Father squeezed my hand. “I’ll be fine.”
He rose to his normal height and turned to Mother. “Please, get off this ship with Freddy, Elizabeth. I’ll be off soon as well, don’t worry about me.”
Mother bit her lip, then shook her head again. “Leonard, they might let you go—I can’t leave you here. Please come and try!”
Mother grabbed hold of my hand and Father’s, beginning to lead us towards the gates.
“I’m not sure, Elizabeth…” Father began sceptically, but Mother didn’t seem to be listening.
We reached a man at the gate who was directing women and children out, and he advanced towards us when he noticed our approach.
“Another woman and child? Thank you. Come, ma’am, let’s go—you too, my lad.”
I stumbled back from his outstretched hand, gripping Father’s arm. “But what about Father? Surely he can come with us!”
“I’m sorry, lad, but I’m just following orders. Come along, now, we don’t have much time.”
Mother stared at Father, her eyes silently pleading, and I held his arm tighter.
“I’m not leaving! Not without you, Father, please!”
Another group of women and children caught the man’s attention, and he became occupied with them while he waited for us. Father knelt down in front of me.
“Frederick…it’s okay. I can’t come yet, because there’s still others like you that need to get off, but I’ll be on a boat as well before you know it,” Father explained with a soft smile that wrinkled the small scar on his cheek. “Go with your mother now—we’ll be together soon, my son.”
He dug a hand into the pocket of his coat. “Here, take this—hold on to it for me until we reunite; look after it, Freddy.”
I stared, tears welling up in my eyes as Father opened my hand and placed a shining, copper-coloured object into my palm, before closing my fingers over it. He stood up again and turned to Mother.
Her expression was laced with grief. “Leonard, I…”
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Don’t worry about me…get Freddy off here, I’ll be all right.”
Mother shook her head, but Father embraced her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. I could hear her whispering something, but couldn’t catch the words.
The man at the gate returned to us. “Are you ready? Spaces are running out.”
Father nodded, reaching for me to give me a hug. “Go.”
Mother looked torn, but she promptly gripped my hand and wiped her tears away, nodding to the man. “Yes—yes, please, lead the way.”
The man ushered us towards the gate, but I turned back, hesitating.
“Father,” I cried, tears running off my cheeks. He caught my call and smiled after me.
“Don’t fret, Frederick—stay with each other, okay? We’ll be together soon!”
“Promise me,” I pleaded, my voice cracking.
He nodded. “I promise…I’ll be all right.”
“Come on, lad,” the man took my hand and led me to follow him and Mother.
I glanced back once more as we were led away, seeing Father waving us off with a smile. I tightened my grip on the pocket watch in my hand as I lost sight of him in the crowds.
__

I awoke to the sounds of rain battering the windows of the Carpathia, accompanied by distant thunder. I yawned, sitting up and turning to see Mother still sleeping soundly. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the little copper watch, wondering how long it had been since I slept. It read 7am.
I quietly slid off the bed and crept over to the window to see where we were, but fog completely obscured any distant views. Thoughts of Father suddenly rushed back to me, and I glanced over at Mother. She was still asleep, and I didn’t want to disturb her, so I silently left our little room to search myself. I had been lying awake for hours wondering if he was even alive, and couldn’t wait much longer to find out.
I went down hallway after hallway, trying to find my way to the top decks, but I soon began to feel quite lost. I noticed a man walking past the next passage, and I raced after him.
“Excuse me, sir!”
The man turned, and I skidded to a stop. “What is it?”
I ignored the man’s snappy tone, actually feeling a twinge of sympathy for him. “Do you know the way to the top deck?”
The man sighed, rubbing his eyes before turning to the corridor and pointing ahead. “Down there…turn left and you’ll see the way up.”
I smiled my appreciation, running on. “Thank you, sir!”
“It’s pouring out there, mind you!” He called after me, but I didn’t pay much attention.
I leapt up a few steps and found myself back on the deck we had been on that long night. I squinted as rain battered my face, trying to see where I was going as I stepped further out. The man wasn’t kidding—it was raining quite a bit.
I quickly realised I had forgotten my coat and grimaced, wrapping my arms around myself to keep from the cold and deciding to be quick about this. I was surprised to see a few people outside despite the downpour, all doing their own things as water drenched the slippery wood.
The rain and fog obscured my vision as I stumbled across the deck, suddenly thinking better of coming up in the first place. I spotted someone who looked like they could help me find Father and made my way towards them, trying to keep my balance. I shielded my eyes from the showers to keep sight of the person, but bumped into someone else that I hadn’t noticed standing nearby.
“Sorry!” I said before they could scold me, trying to hurry past, but they grabbed my arm.
“Hey, are you all right…?”
My heart skipped a beat and I stumbled back, clenching the pocket watch so tight it hurt my hand.
That scar. That thin pink scar across his left cheek.
“Father!”
My cry caused some people’s heads to turn as I rushed into his arms, and he lifted me right off the deck floor, laughing as I cried tears of joy. “Oh, Father!”
“Freddy,” he whispered.
The rain was quickly soaking me, but I didn’t care. I clung to Father as if I would never let go, crying on his shoulder as he hugged me close.
He set me back down on the floor and knelt in front of me as I held on to his neck, smiling that smile I loved so dearly.
“What are you doing out in this rain?” He laughed as we both wiped each other’s tears.
“I came to find you!” I cried, before digging a hand into my pocket. “Here—I kept it for you.”
He smiled as I opened my hand to give him the copper watch, before reaching and closing my fingers over it. “You keep it, Freddy…I want you to have it.”
A grin spread across my face, and I threw my arms around his neck again, unexplainable gratitude filling me as I heard his laugh once more.

1,969 words

huge thank you to @ap0l0 for critiquing this piece <33