Link to piece I am critiquing: https://scratch.mit.edu/discuss/post/7377764/ by @icebunny11

This might not be as long as you expected but these are all the things my peanut brain could think of!

The story was so beautiful! *sniffles* From my perspective, your grammar was spot-on and I don't think it needs any editing. The first little paragraph was a bit confusing because I originally thought he first saw and met the princess in the play but now I think it was originally meant to be like a hook- so i can't say much about that! I think the main issue was that I didn't really 'feel' too sad or anything because I didn't get to read the relationship of the dude and the princess. I only read a small introduction, 2 sentences about what happened in between and then quite a lot of his mother just screaming at him. I do realise that this is a small story and it takes a while to create a scenario (personally I make this mistake too) but I think you should balance your story out a bit and definitely make sure we sort of earn to read the sadness. Not the best way to explain it but the conflict in a sort of sad story should always be devastating and you could achieve that by perhaps cutting down the conflict with his mother and instead adding some dialogue, more feeling in between the 2 lovers, etc. Other than that, you are set to win a Nobel Prize in writing! <3 -224 words (excluding titles)