Weekly 3:

Part 1: I used the Pomodoro method and the Eisenhower method. The Eisenhower method was really helpful, but the Pomodoro method seemed to decrease the amount of work I got done. (I work spontaneously, but I usually work for long periods of time with random short breaks.)

Part 2: I joined encouragement.
https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/32408799/comments/#comments-203540784
https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/32408799/comments/#comments-203543112
https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/32408799/comments/#comments-203363204
https://scratch.mit.edu/studios/32408799/comments/#comments-203362840

Part 3:
Sleep, exercise, reading, and turning off electronics
While we all love electronics, sometimes, it’s good to take a break. Electronics, while helpful—and addicting, aren’t always good. Turning them off, or simply stepping away from them will benefit you in many ways. First, it’s a good way to keep in touch with something we call reality. By connecting with reality, you can talk to humans and interact with your family. Taking breaks from electronics can reduce stress and it may be able to improve your health. It may also allow you to exercise, something we should all do at least once in a while. Before sleeping, you should definitely take a break from electronics. Electronics emit blue light, something that might keep you up at night. Maybe you have a night light on your device that blocks blue light, but it doesn’t block all of it, so yes, this applies to you too.
Exercise is very important. It can and will improve your physical capabilities, and maybe, exercising will make you feel better. It will improve your health and possibly clear your mind, it may also reduce the risk of some diseases.
Sleep is one of the most important things here. When you sleep, your brain is actually developing, so by not sleeping, the development of your brain might be hindered. It will also help us perform better at school or work. It helps your body recharge and is essential to living, so make sure you get enough of it.
Many of these things are important to living, and it’s not limited to that—these things may also aid us in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Writing Competition Entry (845 words)

Bound

Where am I?

I curl my knees to my chest, tucking into a ball in the corner. My arms shake as I wrap them around myself, tight enough to hold the loose threads of my sanity together. The stone walls loom around me, and they seem to be closing in, trapping me in this little room. A window shoved against the ceiling lets in only a single stream of sun, cloaking much of the space in hazy grey fog. The evening light hits the stones at weird angles, making it look like distorted claws splaying across the surface.

My breath comes in short wheezes, as if an invisible force is sucking the air out of my lungs. Memories plague my mind, painting vivid pictures across my eyelids even when I squeeze them shut. Places, some recognizable, some not, dance across my vision.

The images shift.

Faces swarm in front of me, as if they are ghosts of the past that I can’t get rid of. They’re all the same: warm brown eyes, a gentle smile.

Bile rises up in my throat. My heart pounds and I duck my head between my knees. I want to cry out; her face is in all my dreams, all my nightmares. All my waking hours are spent with her face before mine. That single incident took the careful defenses I’d built inside myself and shredded them like paper.

Sobs rack my body and tears run down my pale cheeks like rainfall. I can’t stop crying.

I didn’t mean it.

It was never supposed to happen. It was all an accident. I couldn’t control my power and-

A fresh round of memories crashes upon me like a giant wave. I’m drowning in regret, and fear. The waves keep coming, reminding me of that mistake over and over until I feel numb with grief.

I slam my fist into the floor, pleading it will break me out of this eternal cycle of hopelessness. Three full days. Endless heartbreak, over and over. My heart has to crack eventually, after this much remorse. Or my mind will break first. That single moment replays again and again, tearing me into smaller pieces each time. I just want it to end; I don’t care how.

Her face contorts and twists, reshaping itself into her horrified expression seconds before my internal monster broke loose. A scream was frozen on her rosy lips.

I didn’t mean to.

It was an accident.

I lost control.

She made me lose control.

She always makes me lose control.

It wasn’t my fault.

It was clearly my fault.

I’m never playing with darkness again.

I’ll never forgive myself.

I can get out of this stupid cell if I want to. The heavy door is nothing against darkness sharpened with the withering anger of a girl who’s been wronged too many times. It doesn’t stand a chance against the overpowering rage that can build within someone, reinforced with the all-consuming desire of shadows.

But I won’t do it.

The darkness that used to be easy to call from the depths of my blackened soul is gone, leaving an aching emptiness in the pit of my stomach. But I won’t call upon it again, even if I could.

Or would I? Would the soothing shadows overpower my rational side again? Maybe that’s why I am labeled the villain. The darkness had a firm grip on me from the moment it first curled through my fingers. Its own claws grasped my shoulders, whispering in my ears from the very beginning. I was lost as soon as I found myself in its depths.

That’s why my words had become a snarl as I tried to deny it. That’s why when she found what I’d become, I’d lashed out at her. That’s why I’d lost control at the sight of her pleading, desperate, pitiful face. That’s why I’d called those merciless shadows upon her, even after I’d promised I wouldn’t, all those years before. That’s why, in that instant I lost myself.

That’s why she lost her life.

All of the anger had left me as soon as she collapsed. The darkness had lost its hold instantly. It had been gone since.

Fresh memories swell, and another wave of grief hits me.

Her midnight black hair blowing in the gentle breeze.

Her pleading face, turning her soft features into worried lines.

The inky darkness curling around my hands as if I was playing with it.

But I know now. It was gripping me tightly, toying with me as I believed I was in control. I was never in control. They’d warned me, all of them, but I hadn’t listened. I can handle this, I’d insisted.

But I couldn’t. I never had.

I wasn’t playing with it as it was wound around my wrists. It was just a reminder. It bound me, as if I was wearing handcuffs crafted from its vengeant shadows. I let it take over me. It took her over in return.

And now she is gone.

It’s no surprise I’m the villain. Especially since I killed my own sister.

writing competition - main entry
word count: 533

magic? (a lament)

note + context: the world this is set in is one i have already established (also used in my march entry) in which at one point in time a select few were able to go through a series of trials (the Fang) and choose an aspect they have to embody-being granted several strengths/powers along with it. this is written from the perspective of one of these people to take up an aspect (her aspect being magic) and is a lament on the supposed uselessness of what she chose compared to any others-it can also, however, be interpreted to have a message for many similar but much more realistic situations.

Magic.
A single word.
A single idea.
A single… nothing, really.

I still remember in great detail the one fateful day I stood there before the Fang, a crowd of all my people behind me and an ocean of possibilities in front of me. As I stepped into its shadow, entering its all-powerful embrace, I suddenly saw the world in a new light, seeing it in all its true greatness and potential. And I was presented with everything, anything, so much opportunity…
But somehow, in that blink of an eye, I chose… that. Magic.

One: What does it mean?
When I think of all my brethren, all those others who walked down the Fang’s path, I cannot help but think of their ideals, those aspects that they, in that short yet everlasting second, chose to take up and live by. Life, love, chaos, order… all real, tangible aspects. All things that the masses will look up to, things that will be thought of whenever there is trouble and strife and imbalance until my kin are called upon, pleaded to as gods, those with real, tangible powers… and then me. Magic.

Two: What is its… purpose?
The process seems to get longer and longer for each new person, weeks and weeks of training, thinking, learning, all culminating at that one moment under the Fang, the moment where the worthy will pass and take upon themselves an aspect. And so much of that training has over the centuries come to be centered around that very aspect, one that all of us were so often told to think about, to choose only what we care so deeply about… and that is what all those who came before and after me, all those who taught me and all those I taught, did… war, love, death, water, fire, memory, all things with meaning. All things that can be used, understood, appreciated… and then magic.

Over the countless decades I have lived through, those like me have been looked up to, in some way or another: whether as leaders, to guide them, or for assistance in times of need. A war occurs: call Arra, who took up war, or his daughter, she who chose love. A plague begins to spread: find my mentor, who brought upon himself life, or his sister, who chose the aspect of death. Every problem has some solution, and for every solution, one who can solve it. But what of me? Magic? Only time, luck, and the rest of my life will tell.

I sigh as I throw open the fifty foot high ebony doors leading to the mausoleum. I think about why I’m here. Why it has to be me. I made a deal. A deal with the devil. Literally. I think about the first day that the devil had begun the invasion of earth. He wanted to sign contracts with mortals to collect souls. The souls would drive his invasion. He needed an envoy to collect souls. I had accepted his offer. I would give him the souls of people around me and he would give me whatever I desired. I thought it would be beneficial for me. How wrong I was.
I step into the first chamber of the mausoleum. The devil was in the tenth and final chamber. I need to stop the devil. It is my fault he could take over earth. I don’t regret what I have done because the people around me have wronged me. Their souls deserved to work for the devil. The one reason I was here was because the souls I had given him threatened to destroy earth. I would stop the devil. The first chamber is made of cold stone bricks crawling with vibrant moss. The moss also has exotic plants clinging to it. The floor is filled with pools of water. Around a hundred feet up is the roof where water drips into the pools on the floor. I go to the nearest puddle which has a bright pink azalea. I squat and put my left hand on the stone floor. I stare into the puddle. My spiky black hair is mostly obscured by my black hood. My green eyes pierce into my heart and judge me. This is all your fault. They remind me. I stand up and unsheathe one of the two swords off of my back with my right hand. A roar echoes through the room and the ebony doors slam shut. A big shadow emerges from the shadows in front of me. Now that the doors are closed, the room floods with darkness. It is soon driven back when the plants start a fluorescent glow. The room is lit up by something other than the glowing green eyes ten feet away from me. Wait, growing green eyes?! The behemoth in front of me is a titanic creature standing five feet taller than my five foot stature. It has giant bull horns emerging from the top of its bovine enraged head. It’s a big stone minotaur-like creature. The stone is weirdly transparent and within it I see a silhouette. Someone I know. Tom.
It’s been a month since I've last seen Tom. It was a blustery day a week after I made a deal with the devil. Tom had always bullied me. That day he was taunting me in the fields behind our school. We are both in the eleventh grade. I hadn’t given the devil a single soul at this point. That would soon change. I don’t remember what Tom had said, but I ran home enraged. That night from the safety of my bedroom I unfurled one of the glowing blue scrolls the devil had given me. The devil binded me to a deal. I would give him souls, he would have to make any deal with me that I wanted. I signed the letter metaphorically with Tom’s blood. He deserved it. I gave the devil his soul in exchange for the strength to overcome him. I never thought the devil would interpret that as the right to take him away. Although, I didn’t care. I don’t care. He deserves to be gone.
Now I’m back in the mausoleum. Back in the present. He’s here in front of me, preserved in this stone minotaur. I unsheathe my other sword. Let’s hope the devil really gave me the strength to overcome him. I tense for the coming battle. Then, cracks grow in the stone body of the minotaur. The rocks come crashing to the ground. Floating in front of me is the silhouette of Tom. His ghost. He knows what I did to me. He doesn't judge me. He nods his head. I hear the whisper of his hoarse voice in my ear.
“Do it for us,” He tells me. I shrug it off. I'm doing it to repay the debt I owe to the world. Not for him. Not for the people I sacrificed. They still deserve it. His ghost flickers and then disappears. I continue into the towering halls of the mausoleum. I go through the next eight chambers. Chamber after chamber I fight a foe from my previous life. Someone who made me feel worthless. They show me their gratitude for what I am doing for the world they love. I shake it off. I’m doing this for me. Eventually, I arrived at the ninth chamber. The final one before the devil. It's a simple room made of granite with marble pillars holding up the roof hundreds of feet above. Floating in the middle of the room is a translucent blue spirit. A spirit of another person I never thought I would see again. My sister Alex.
She is brimming with energy. She used to be brimming with creative energy. Now standing before me, her energy is more literal. Chaotic. She had long blond hair and the same piercing green eyes as me. As a spirit, she has none of the color she had. I remember the night I gave the devil her soul. I swear I didn’t mean to. She was the one thing I had left. She heard of the souls I gave to the devil and told me it was wrong. It was unnatural to give away other souls for my own benefit. Inhumane. I gave the devil her soul in exchange for the power to be all powerful. He told me I already had it in me, but took her soul anyway. I was devastated. At least she could no longer critique me.
Back in the present, Alex focuses on me.
“I thought you would stop,” Alex screams at me. “I told you to stop.” Blue lighting whips past me. Alex floats into the air and slams her fists to the ground. Blue waves of energy burst out of the ground and knocked me down. Why did I sell her? I wonder. She was everything to me. I loved her. Now she hates me. She floats towards me and offers me her hand. “Although you didn't listen to me,” She murmurs, “The world needs you.” I try to take her lesson to heart. I really do try. But the world comes crashing back. Everyone I sold deserved it. If life was a game, I would make the moves, sacrifice the pawns. What matters most, is that I would come out on top.
The final room of the mausoleum has large obsidian walls, and a jagged black throne. Upon the throne, sits the devil. The devil has red leathery skin and two small black horns sitting on top of his golden irises. His pupils zero in on me. He’s looking into my soul. I wonder what he sees. Is my soul pure? I don’t think I've ever done anything wrong. I may have given up those people, but they wronged me first. After all, I was only retaliating. The devil holds a golden pitchfork with three prongs.
“Hello,” says the devil. “I’m happy to see you again.”
“I want to make another deal!” I shout towards the devil. “You promised I could make any deal I want.”
“Ask away,” Laughs the devil.
“Leave earth forever!” Never return or send any of your minions to conquer or destroy it!” I demand. The devil winces. He never thought I would ask him this. I can tell he's trying to think his way out of this. He slumps down on his throne. He seems to realize something and sits straight back up.
“Ok,” the devil begins. “But you owe me one more soul. You've given me your enemies, and even your loved ones. You have no one else to give.” He smiles and I realize what he knows. I realize what I must do. I’m not in a game. Life isn’t a pawn. I can’t give any more lives. I have none to give. I don’t own anyone. I don’t own anyone that is, other than myself. I finally knew what Alex meant. I understand what I have to do. What I should have done in the beginning. I owe it to Tom, Alex, and everyone I sacrificed to do this.
“Fine!” I call to the devil. “I’m done with your games. I won’t give you anyone else's soul. I’ll give you mine.” On my right wrist appears an engraving of a scroll. A blue line of energy erupts from it and flies towards the top of the mausoleum. From my other wrist comes the same energy. It grows until it consumes my whole body. I can hear the devil laughing.
“A deals a deal,” He whispers to me as I fall into oblivion. It’s the easiest thing to do, to accept death when you know it's coming. I don’t fear it as it grows closer. Instead, I accept it. I succeeded. I saved the world. It only cost me my life.

@PixelDucko

You asked me to critique your writing comp entry, “No Thanks, I'm Fine”. So I want to start by saying some things I like about this piece. I really like all the small details, like how you mentioned the weather and the willow tree. And I love the main theme of this story, which I assume is “You don't have to do life all alone”. That being said, I want to mention a few quick improvements for this story. I'll start with grammatical corrections and then move on to a general overview.
“She liked the tree, it gave a lot of shade even though it was still far from it's adult phase.”
Okay, so I feel like the problem here is the comma. Honestly this might just be my personal preference, but I feel like it could be rewritten with the word ‘because’. You could write it like this, “She liked the tree because it gave a lot of shade”. If you like the comma, you could add it between the words shade and even.
“It was annoying on having to keep pushing her hair out of her face”
I actually feel like this one has the opposite problem. This is still my personal preference, but what if you removed the word ‘on’? It would look like this, “It was annoying having to keep pushing her hair out of her face”. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure the word ‘having’ is a word. What about, “It was annoying that she had to keep pushing her hair out of her face”?
Lizzy thought about the offer for a minute.
“Sure.”
Okay, so moving on to the general overview. This is probably the last review I'll have time to do if I want to finish the writing comp on time, but here's my problem with this one. At first, there were about 350 words of her wanting to be alone, and then after 7 words she just randomly decides she wants to play Simon Says. There's no warning, not even a small prick of loneliness that foreshadowed that Lizzy was going to make this decision. Maybe you could add in something at first that suggests Lizzy was lonely, or have more detail in the part where she thinks about the offer?
Overall, I loved your story! Best of luck in the writing competition.
400 words exactly!

Here are my critiques for @pages-of-ink. Hope this helps! :

I really, really love your story! The setting, characters and lore are crystal clear, realistic and versatile. The fact that you controlled this complex concept of this into a short story without sacrificing the smoothness of the plot or the connection of the reader with the character/s is incredibly impressive! I really love how you depicted Nadia’s jealousy of Laria’s power and her fear that the dream would hurt her sister. I also really love how you personified the dream, you had me in the beginning of trusting the dream and I regretted the decision to release the dream just like Nadia did! I also enjoy Nadia’s reflection in the end about what she had been told by her mother: dreams can’t be trusted.


Here are some basic points that I thought would make your story even better if you choose to use them:


Adding a little bit of a party scene and what made Nadia leave to be by herself would be a good choice to see how Nadia is treated by others compared to what she thinks of herself and if she really is overshadowed by her sister. Also, this scene would have Laria in it so the reader could see if her new position was possibly getting into her head or if she was the same as before she knew that she possessed this power. This will also add the reader a sense of if Nadia is jealous with a good reason to be or if it’s just in her head.


Adding a bit more description of the room that Nadia is in. What does it look like? What does it smell like? How does Nadia feel inside the room? Is it her room?

Adding more description of how the dream looks as it circles around the ceiling as it is the only part of the story that I have trouble picturing.


Other than these optional details, I really think that your story is really creative and vivid and I enjoyed reading and critiquing it!

-Squirrel

Weekly 3
11/22/22

Part One
1. Time block
7:30-8:00
Wake up, get dressed, etc

8:00-9:30
Finish math lesson

9:30-12:00
Run errands with Mom

12:00-1:00
Take math quiz

1:00-2:00
Finish two history lessons, head to the library

2:00-5:00
Finish writing comp entry at library

5:00-6:00
Drop off book at teacher’s house, head home and eat dinner, glance over choreo for rehearsal

6:00-6:10
Make sure writing comp and weekly are submitted, get everything ready for rehearsal

6:10-9:30
Theater rehearsal

9:30-10:00
Hang out with sister

10:00-11:00
Get ready for bed, do Duolingo, read or talk to friends

11:00
Sleep

2. Pomodoro technique
Used to work on writing comp entry

Part Two
I joined Encouragement! I have no idea how to link comment chains, but as of now I’m right up near the top

Part Three
List:
1. Sleep
2. Exercise
3. Spreading affection
4. Writing thoughts down
5. Reading

Persuasion piece:
294 words
I think I really need to prioritize sleep — I’m certainly not as bad as I could be, but I want to prioritize getting at least eight hours of sleep. I’ll feel so much more energized if I do, and it will help me get through my day a lot easier. I’ll be able to think a little clearer, which will make socializing and doing schoolwork a lot easier. As an ambiverted-leaning-on-introvert, doing all the people things can require a lot of energy. My family and friends don’t deserve me being irritable over nothing — besides, I can help others out a lot easier if I can think clearly. I also won’t get quite so stressed out if I’m rested enough — if I’m tired, I tend to get overwhelmed and stressed really easily over daunting tasks. Unfortunately, I can procrastinate a little too much on homework sometimes, so staring at the list of things I need to do can be really stressful when I’m super tired, even if hardly anything is on it. The health benefits are great too! Getting sick is far less than ideal when I have multiple theater rehearsals coming up. Especially as performances begin to creep closer! My presence will be heavily needed in the next few weeks, so I should make sure I’m keeping a good amount of sleep under my belt in order to stay healthy. Not to mention it’s flu season, so my immune system needs all the help it can get! I help with a lot of little kids at my church as well, and there’s nothing more germy than small children with no concept of covering their coughs and sneezes. A strong immune system will for sure be needed to get through the winter without multiple colds!

Weekly 3
Self care-
669 words


Pt 1- I tested out all of them. The only one that didn’t work for me was time blocking. I’m not that good at sticking to schedules ^^’
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Pt 2-
———
Original Comment:
Prompt- Find a random book and turn to a random page. Glide your fingers up and down the page. Stop. Whatever word you land on you have to use in a story. Do this 3 times so you have 3 words. Now make your story!
(45)

Replies:

> To get rid of acne you can try putting honey on it with a bandaid overnight or just leave honey on it for 20-30 minutes- that might do something. Remember to wash your face and MOISTURIZE it helps so much- but please remember that your acne doesn’t define who you are. You are beautiful and your acne is beautiful. Think of it like a little galaxy on your face! Now you’re the universe. And you are! Treat yourself like one and LOVE yourself like one! And good luck in your performance <33
(91)

> Thank you! My first idea was a story about social anxiety but if you wanted something lighter I came up with something to do with running a business
(28)

> Look around the room and pick a color you see. Then whatever letter that color starts with find the number it is (Like A would be 1 B as 2 C as 3) Now times that number by 100 and write that many words! (Note if its too long for your liking cut it in half) :>>>
(56)

> Look outside. Whatever the weather is is what the weather in your story! And make the mood of the story the mood of outside (Sunny- Happy, Rainy- sad, etc)
(29)
—————————————————————
Part 3-

Checklist:
Sleep
Water Intake
Sunlight
Listening to music
Writing thoughts down
(10)

Sleep (410 words)
I know what you’re doing. I bet that right now you are (or were) scrolling on your phone. Make that on TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, or even right here on Scratch, when you’re supposed to be sleeping. It’s 2am and you have to wake up for school in the morning. Not to mention the homework due tomorrow that’s not even done yet. Or even your scenario could be it’s the morning and you don’t want to wake up (because of the above)! Here’s the trick- sleep. Tonight I want you to go to sleep at a reasonable time. Like at 9:30 or 10 and see how much better you feel in the morning. Sleep is so very beneficial towards your mental and physical health. You know when in school and you can’t focus on what the teacher is saying? Well sleeping can improve your concentration! It can also improve your immune system (no one likes getting sick), you’ll be less stressed, can improve your decision making, and energizes you (ya, that volleyball game tomorrow, you need energy for that!)! All of that just by sleeping. Sleep is much more important than your grades. Please don’t stay up all night doing homework. Sleep can even improve your memory. Why spend time at midnight studying for a test when you could be sleeping and improving your memory? And sleep is MUCH more important and the endless amount of hours wasted on your phone. There is something to know. Although just sleeping is important, they key (to almost everything under health) is consistency. Just taking a nap of having a good amount of sleep one night isn’t going to do much. You need to have a sleep schedule- and a reasonable one too. And yes the recommended amount is 8 hours, it varies for every age and every person. Some people need 10 hours, some people don’t. Find the right amount for you. I challenge you to go to bed at 9:30 every day for a week (maybe 10-10:30 on weekends). Maybe even delete TikTok! Sleeping can also keep your emotions under control therefore decreasing the chance of depression. Sleeping can also keep your weight under control too. If you don’t get enough sleep it can lead to thinking issues, weight gain, increase risk of cancers, you won’t be able to focus, and you can develop (worse) depression. That doesn’t sound very fun now does it. Moral of the story, GET SOME SLEEP (consistently).

First of all, I loved this piece! It was really well written and was honestly just so interesting in general - I learned a lot, and it was probably not something I would have spent the time to learn about otherwise, so that was cool. Also, just as a general note, I couldn't really find a lot wrong with it since it was so amazing, so a lot of these are just tiny things that don't make a huge difference, but that you could look at just to see, and some of them are also just personal preference.

booklover883322 wrote:

I have a question for you. Has a story ever changed you? Has a biography ever inspired you? Has a novel ever made you sit down and think deeply about our world? My answer to all three questions is yes. I hope for you it is the same.

I love your hook! If you want to be more accurate though, it's more than one question Or you could also get rid of the first sentence, because it might draw the reader in more, but of course you could also keep it as is Also, for the “it is”, you could shorten it to “it's”, depending on who your intended audience is. Of course, if you mean for this to be read in formal settings, then you should keep it as is, but if it's meant to be more of a casual read, you might want to think about turning it into a contraction.

booklover883322 wrote:

Stories build and shape our world. Don’t believe me? Fiction and non-fiction alike surround us. Novels, like Harry Potter and the Hunger Games, are beloved by many. People also love going to the movies, and, believe it or not, the movie on the big screen is a story. In schools, there are history textbooks filled with real stories from our world that build our knowledge about this planet we live on. Stories here, stories there, stories everywhere.

One particular type of story structure that I’d like to focus on today would be the Hero’s Journey.

I love how you gave examples of all of the stories that the reader might not even think of! You could change “would be” to “is” to keep the tenses more consistent and to add clarity.

booklover883322 wrote:

Used as a basis for many different stories, the Hero’s Journey is a fundamental part of fictional culture.

Maybe you could give an example or two of these stories here, to stay consistent since you gave examples earlier?

booklover883322 wrote:

Perhaps this seems unfamiliar to you, so I’ll elaborate. The Hero’s Journey story structure, first appearing in Joseph Campbell’s book “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” in 1949, is a three act structure for a typical fantasy novel (though it isn’t limited to just that genre). It consists of three acts with smaller substeps that dictate things about the story.

You mention that it has three acts twice, which gets a tiny bit repetitive. Also, you could try to replace “things” with something more specific. I don't actually know if this is possible or not, but you could always try!

booklover883322 wrote:

To sum up a typical story using the Hero’s Journey, it starts with a normal person living in what they perceive as normal, a status quo.

Something about the way this sentence was phrased seems a little bit odd, although that might just be me. Maybe you could try changing the comma after Journey to a colon or something?

booklover883322 wrote:

They get pulled into a new and strange situation that rocks their sense of safety. They make friends along the way towards a goal. Then finally, they are able to succeed after lots of strife and hardship.

These sentences feel a bit choppy and disconnected - I'm not sure if that was your intention or not. If it was, it's a super cool idea to give an easy description and have the grammatical patterns reflect that If not, I just thought I'd let you know

booklover883322 wrote:

Boom, done. End of speech. I just explained all that you need to know, you can go home now, right?
Wrong.

I love this part, it just makes me smile every time I read it

booklover883322 wrote:

The Hero’s Journey, while seeming formulaic, is actually filled with areas to add nuances that can make your story unique and vibrant. There are many different variations to the hero’s journey that we’ve seen in fiction. That’s the beauty of it!

Again, here you basically say ‘oh here’s this super important thing with lots of examples', but don't provide any, so you might want to give an example either here or above (sorry I'm realizing now that this feels mildly rude - I didn't intend it that way, just for clarification)

booklover883322 wrote:

Let’s start diving into this iceberg by talking about the mastermind behind the concrete idea of the Hero’s Journey, Joseph Campbell.

I can't tell if this is just my brain being tired or not, but this sentence does seem a little bit wordy.

booklover883322 wrote:

On March 26, 1904, he was born in White Plains, New York. He died in 1987 due to cancer. In his most famous book, the Hero of a Thousand Faces, he analyzed the different trends in myths.

Here this feels a bit choppy and rather like a list, so you might want to add some sort of transition, rather than just (if you get rid of the details) ‘He was born. He died. He analyzed trends.’

booklover883322 wrote:

A quote from the Joseph Campbell Foundation says, “In this study of the myth of the hero, Campbell posits the existence of a Monomyth (a word he borrowed from James Joyce), a universal pattern that is the essence of, and common to, heroic tales in every culture. While outlining the basic stages of this mythic cycle, he also explores common variations in the hero’s journey, which, he argues, is an operative metaphor, not only for an individual, but for a culture as well.”

I really like how you included a quote here; it just really adds an extra layer of credibility to your already clearly well-researched work. If you wanted to, you could consider shortening and/or paraphrasing (some or all of) this quote, just to have more of the writing be in your own words.

booklover883322 wrote:

While he didn’t create the Hero’s Journey, he analyzed the common themes in different myths and stories and made a concrete list of those common parts of stories. Here’s the list he created.

You already told the reader that he analyzed themes, so maybe you could try to find a synonym for it either here or above. Also, you might want to change the period after created to a colon, since those are more commonly used to introduce lists.

booklover883322 wrote:

Act 1
Ordinary World
Call to Adventure
Refusal of the call
Meeting the Mentor
Act 2
Crossing the first threshold
Test, allies, enemies
Innermost Cave
Ordeal
Reward
Act 3
The road back
Resurrection
Return with the Elixir

I love how you formatted this! It makes a list, almost like a table of contents, that the reader can refer back to at any time, which is pretty cool. The only thing I'd say here is try to stay consistent with your capitalization. (for example cave is capitalized but not road)

booklover883322 wrote:

Let’s go a bit more into depth about each of these segments of the Hero’s Journey.
Let’s start with act one.
Let’s create a story together.

You might want to try varying your sentence starters here. It's not too obvious, but since they're all in a column, it is a little bit more visible.

booklover883322 wrote:

I’ll start us off with this.
Jane was a normal girl. Jane loved a good read. She liked Science Fiction and Thriller novels, yet her heart would always belong to Fantasy.
Jane, in this case, would be our protagonist, or the main character of the story. She, right now, is in the normal world, what she’s used to. Authors can go many different places with this.

You could try changing many to something else, like numerous. I don't know if this piece is just something you wrote for fun to be read in a casual environment (in which case many is fine), or not - in most cases, if it's something formal, particularly something for school, (at least at my school I know they don't like us using the word many) you might want to change it, so again, that depends on the situation

booklover883322 wrote:

Jane could be unhappy with her life. In that case, I’d write this.
She longed to jump into the novels she read. She wanted to experience these things for herself. Jane wanted something new and different.

This isn't particularly related to critiquing, but I find it quite entertaining that your response to Jane being ‘unhappy with her life’ is because she wants to jump into books.

booklover883322 wrote:

Then comes the call to adventure. If we were to stick with the ‘Unhappy with her life’ thing, then I’d write something like this.

Again, this is more of a situational thing, but you might want to change the word thing (some potential replacements if you can't think of anything are idea, or plotline, or something like that). Also, after this, you may want to change it to a colon, since, again, you're introducing something.

booklover883322 wrote:

Weekend nights with rain were Jane’s favorite part of every week. All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. She sighed, put down her book and walked over to the door. She looked through the peephole, and there, in front of her, was a tall man with long gray hair. He said in a deep, booming voice as soon as she opened the door. “Jane Locklan, our world needs you.”

I believe you would put a comma after door, although I may be wrong.

booklover883322 wrote:

This is where I’d lump together the next two steps, the refusal of the call and meeting the mentor. The mentor, in this case, would be the tall, gray haired man, who I’ll name Melvin the Wise.

I love that name

booklover883322 wrote:

The refusal of the call can happen for many different reasons and in many different ways. Sometimes, the refusal of the call comes from an obstructing force, not the main character themself.
Since I have time constraints, I can’t truly flesh out this segment like I really want to, so let’s just go with what we have right now.

This would again, depend on your audience, but you might want to change the last sentence if this is meant for a more formal setting, since that sounds a little bit unprofessional.

booklover883322 wrote:

Moving on to act two.
Let’s utilize a little timeskip, shall we? Melvin the Wise coaxes Jane, after she insists that he must have the wrong person, into coming with him to his magical fantasy world, called MagicLand.

I just love these names!

booklover883322 wrote:

This is crossing the first threshold. He explains that she is the chosen one, due to her love of stories as they travel towards a place called the dark realm.

I found the “due to her love of stories as they travel towards a place called the dark realm” a little bit confusing, and I didn't completely see how the two ideas connect.

booklover883322 wrote:

The middle act consists of a lot of different events that go on during the course of the story. The basic structure of the first half goes a little like this: try to get something, fail or succeed, things get worse, take a quick break, repeat until we reach the second half of the second act. Along the way, Jane would make friends, gain enemies and learn more about MagicLand.

Here, you again have the would, which makes the tenses a little bit confusing - you could proably just omit it and change make to makes

booklover883322 wrote:

All this time, Jane has the goal of saving MagicLand, and now that she’s a bit more comfortable with the world, she’s excited to do so. But now, she’s ready to approach and enter the innermost cave. Tension has built up significantly, as shown in this little scene.
“I would call Gerrand to fly us to the top, but he’s still quite injured from the ordeal at the giant’s castle.” Jane huffed. “No worries.” She caught her breath and stopped for a moment. “He did great. We can get to the Dark Realm on our own.” “But he sure would’ve been helpful.” Muttered Misty, Jane’s new elven friend. She hobbled up the mountain with her crutches clicking on the stone.

I was a tad bit confused as to who was saying some of these. Also, who hobbled up the mountain: Jane or Misty? I'm assuming Misty, but it was a tiny bit unclear.

booklover883322 wrote:

This would be the tests, allies and enemies segment, or at least a summary of a very superficial part of it. She made a few new friends, Misty and Gerrand, she made enemies in the giant, and she found out where she has to go in order to save the world. Afterwards, we’d look at the ordeal. That’s the high point, the climax, the hardest test yet.
Let’s do another timeskip, to where Jane is approaching the leader of the dark realm. Here’s a little crossroads that she’s at. If she succeeds, she saves MagicLand and can go back home. If she fails, she can never leave. The consequences are real (a very important part of storytelling that I won’t go off on a tangent about today), and she’s ready to face her most challenging foe yet.
Jane ends up being able to defeat her foe, but only with the heroic sacrifice of her dear friend Misty. This is where the reward section comes in. Since she was able to save MagicLand, she can now return home. That’s the reward.

Noo not Misty!

booklover883322 wrote:

We’re here at Act three! The road back, to start out, is, literally, for Jane

I would put a comma here

booklover883322 wrote:

a road back to the entrance to her world. Along the way, she faces smaller and shorter tests, until she can get to the resurrection part. This part is where the big bad, the leader of the dark realm has a final hurrah, trying his best to defeat Jane. This is the hardest moment for her, and it may seem like all is lost. But she triumphs and returns with the elixir. Now Jane has changed, and there the story ends.

Wow! This was a really interesting piece, and I found myself very invested in your storyline about Magicland

Hello and welcome to my very last minute writing competition entry!! This is an excerpt from a longer story that I've been working on since June, and I'm excited to finally be sharing a piece of it!






I staggered backwards, eyes darting from one wall to the next. It felt like the bricks were slowly creeping towards me, chastising me for what I had just done.
If someone had seen me—even just a single person…
My head jerked up, convinced that I had seen a curtain slide shut out of the corner of my eye, a watching person trying to hide themself from me.
I had to leave.
I turned, ran from the alleyway, my forehead scrunching with effort as I tried desperately to keep the magic from seeping out. My feet pounded against the ground in an erratic semblance of rhythm, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.
I stopped briefly when I arrived at the cliffs. Here, the city's edges began to soften, more and more room appearing between each small house. This was the place I always went to feel relaxed, but today I was feeling anything but calm. Taking a swift look behind me—no one was following, at least, no one I could see—I walked up to one of the thick metal poles that helped to keep the crumbling cliffs standing. Wrapping my legs around it, I shimmied upwards until I reached the platform about ten feet in the air.
I pressed my back to the pole, facing towards the steep cliffs, hiding from the city. I brought my knees to my chest, forming a ball of stress and confusion and fear.
This city had never been kind to me. I left home early, at fifteen instead of the usual sixteen, not yet aware of how suspiciously Cursekeep regarded anyone who deviated from the usual. Having magic, phasing between the realms, that would make me look even more guilty.
I could tell no one. But if anyone had seen me as I reappeared in that alleyway, the news was sure to spread. Sure, people here choose their words carefully, but that wouldn't stop them from giving up my secret. And once the ruler knew of this, they would send others to find me, to force me into the life I was running from.
From what I saw in the Illusory, the hordes of other magicians swarming through the place were working on something big. And I wanted no part of it.
The smallest crunch sounded from behind me, and I took a shuddery breath. I squeezed my fists together, pressing my eyes closed, hoping that it wasn't them.
“Ana?” a cautious voice came from behind me.
Behind the sound of my thumping heart, I recognized the sound. But my brother; he was dangerous too. He would turn me in to them with no hesitation.
I clutched my legs to my chest even tighter, foolishly hoping that, if I made myself smaller, I could disappear.

Writing Competition Fanfic Entry: SWC Fanfiction

Collaboration between @-Alocasia and @Stariqe

~

In Which Penguin and Jim Flabsdz Got Locked In Their Spaceship (dear me i am tired)

“Hey… Jimmy. The starrs are out.”

The words were met with a soft Jim-grunt, and a hiss as a gentle blaze alighted on his scales - only to go out promptly.

Penguin nestled deeper into the darkness. Wrapped his tiny flippers around the pot of alocasia. He couldn’t see much inside the ship - the lights had gone out days ago, and the starrs, though pretty, were far away - but the leaves pulsed with a gentle, effervescent glow, and if he listened with all his heart, he could hear the twinkle of notes escaping from the plant. He wondered, not for the first time, whether Jim could hear it too.

He’d picked up the specimen on a journey a couple weeks ago; they had gone to Folklore, a shimmering, mystical planet with an atmosphere of copper and bronze, where the undergrowth shuddered and sparkled with bioluminescent mystery. The forests that so thickly covered the surface of the planet were blinding to Penguin’s eyes, even though he’d taken special care to wear his sunglasses, but something about this one plant had called to him. He wasn’t above a little sentimentality; perhaps it was meant to find him, and destined to come aboard with them on The Weekly. It certainly provided a little light for him now - enough to look around at their surroundings, and through the windows where the starrs, indeed, were out.

Penguin pressed his face against the glass, and peered out. The cool, blank gaze of the universe stared back at him, and for a moment, he was entranced - lost inside the spinning suns, the spaces in between the blots of light.

“They won’t come.” Jim’s voice was deep, and hoarse. But there was something ageless in it. He was old, Penguin knew - a voice and a being who had travelled lightyears and cheated time, seen the universe before its dawn, and will see it at its demise. He was older than starrs. He will outlive the alocasia; he will certainly outlive Penguin. “The starrs don’t care for us. They’re too stuck up in their skies, with their own starry things. No one’s coming to save us.”

“Save us from what?” Penguin piped, the starrs reflecting in the shining surface of his wide, round eyes. “This fantastic view? I think I can see every starr in the universe right now.”

“This is but a smattering. A pinch, if you’re lucky.” His claws, the colour and sheen of obsidian, click against the floor with a fatal weight. “I’ve seen brighter skies than this. There’s far too much space between the starrs this side of the Galaxswc. A pathetically dull void, really.”

“You’re a grumpy grouch, Jimmy.” Penguin placed one flipper delicately against the glass. “Won’t you just look at them?”

“I’m tired,” Jim hissed. But his long, spiky tail curled around Penguin protectively, and with a weary look at the little creature, he spared the starrs a look. Just one.

He blinked. The starrs did not blink back. “What hairballs.”

Penguin sighed softly. He leaned back against the glass, little flippers tapping the pot. The music was soft, flexible; Penguin took it in his hands, tried to get it to stay. “You must try to be gentle with the universe. Before, you were the ruler of all the skies. But times have changed, and you are not who you once were. You’ve been hurt, Jimmy - and wounds take time to heal.”

“I am a sky monster. I do not get hurt.”

Penguin furrowed his feathery brow. “The Daily Team tried to explode you.”

“And a nice morsel they would have made too,” Jim sighed wearily.

“They almost did explode you.”

“Oh, don’t sound so upset,” the monster grumbled. “Look at the starrs some more. Don’t think about how we’ve been sealed up in an impenetrable spaceship and sent to float in the endless void until eternity collapses in on itself.”

“You’re such a pessimist.” Penguin hopped from foot to foot; the room was beginning to get a little chilly, even for a creature who calls Antarctica home. “So how’s your fireball wound feeling now?”

“Like I’ve been skewered through with a hot poker, and propped up to roast on a spit.” Jim scowled, which proved a rather childish expression upon the face of someone who had seen aeons go by. “Not that I suppose that’s going to matter in the long run…”

“There you go, then! That’s an improvement on yesterday!” Penguin put his flippers around Jim in a warm embrace, which was a challenge given the Penguin was already rather small as penguins go, and Jim was shaped for crunching through asteroids (and unfortunate astronauts) like dry cereal. “I told you you’d start to feel better soon.”

“You’re such a silly billy, you know.”

“I know.” Penguin smiled - a sweet, bright grin that brought the invisible astral twinkle of the heavens into his eyes. He was about to say something more, or perhaps doodle-doo a song (penguins don’t have the best of memories), when a bright flare outside made him turn.

“Jim!” He gasped. “Did you see that?”

“Probably a bird throwing an asteroid at us,” Jim grumbled.

“No, no! It can’t have been. I’m going to go get my telescope.”

Penguin waddled off to rattle around in the storage cupboard, creating a clattering cacophony as he did so. At last, after a few resounding crashes, he let out a peep of triumph and his flipper closed around the golden surface of his telescope.

“Jimmy! Look, I’ve got it!”

“That’s nice.” Jim had laid his weary head upon the floor, only occasionally cracking one jewel-like eye open to keep an eye on the flightless bird now skidding helter-skelter across the floor. “Enjoy the light show. It’s probably a sun exploding… a nice enough way to hasten our impending doom, I do suppose.”

“Jimmy.”

The intensity in Penguin’s voice made Jim turn. He raised his head. Furrowed an eyebrow. “How curious,” he murmured.

The starrs were swivelling together, bubbling and frothing and growing. The folds of the skies began to shake. As soon as Jim realised what was happening, he let out a big, grand rumble, and shook his fiery mane hard enough to make spinning starrs flicker inside The Weekly, too.

With a dull crash, the starrs hurled at them - except they weren’t starrs, but -

“Another ship!” Penguin jumped up in excitement. The pot slipped from his flippers, and he managed to catch it only just in time before it shattered. “Oh! Look what the Daily Team brought us.”

“Sproutheads?”(rudeeee)

“No!”

Jim grumbled. “Then tell me.”

Penguin held up a basket. It was a very pretty basket, of the traditional willow-woven sort, with an attractive back-on-topic chequered cloth draped neatly over the top. “It smells… italian!”

“I don’t like the taste of Italians,” Jim sighed, puffing a light shower of sparks from his nose. “I prefer Belgians. They make excellent chocolate.”

“Not the human sort, Jimmy. Wait, I know it now - it’s actual food!”

Penguin set the basket down proudly and, with a great flourish, lifted away the cotton cloth. Both sets of eyes peered in hungrily. Inside the basket were two ample portions of lasagne, oozing with sauce and cheese between tender sheets of yolk-yellow pasta.

Reverently, Penguin lifted the two plates out of the basket. “Phew! Well, we won’t be going hungry for weeks!”

“You might not,” muttered Jim ruefully, casting a glistening eye over the portions - which were generous for a penguin, but less so where a sky monster was concerned. “Here, what’s that at the bottom of the basket?”

Penguin had his beak poised to plunge into one of the rich plates - space adventuring was hungry - but, with great strength of will, tore himself away from the first hot meal he’d seen in a couple weeks and looked back into the basket. Jim was right - there was something in there. A note…

dont eat us pls meows

From behind him, Penguin felt Jim’s breathing stiffen. The little bird clutched his alocasia plant, waiting for the explosion, the fire, the roars he will surely have to run from. He started counting. One. Two. Three. Fou -

Sparks fizzled around the spaceship. The floor began to rumble as Jim started to shake. In alarm, Penguin dove for the lasagne - if Jim ruined his meal, that just wouldn’t do! But no flames burst from the sky monster. Penguin clutched the plates tightly, and slowly, warily turned around, only for his beak to drop in astonishment.

Jim wasn’t exploding. He was… guffawing, tears sparkling in his big eyes, tail thumping against the floor. “Oh, those ridiculous younglings on the Daily Team! How they test my temper so.”

“Mmm,” was all the bemused - but pleased - Penguin could offer.

“Tell them I will swallow the entire Galaxyswc whole,” Jim told his friend happily. “And feast on the bones of the wrecked planets and starrs. Oh, and eat them too. Would you ask what toppings they go best with?” Penguin had never heard anyone chuckle so delightedly.

Outside, another flash of light - Penguin whipped round in shock to see a spaceship soaring up towards their own, and the laughing faces at the windows. Penguin smiled shakily at his sworn enemies, and turned around, looking like he felt a little foolish. “Do you mean to say… we weren’t really properly trapped after all?”

Jim cackled wildly, and the metal walls of their spaceship tremored around them. “Penguin,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady even as he blinked away tears of mirth, “I am Jim Flabsdz, grand ruler of Space and Time, the one constant in an vast, dark universe that is evermoving and everchanging. I was there when the Galaxswc was born and I shall be there still when it dies, as all things must. And I eat spaceships for breakfast.”

“Oh,” Penguin said in relief, shuffling his webbed feet. “I forgot that bit. But the fireball -“

“Yes, the younglings’ technology has improved so much! I am deeply proud of them, really I am.” Jim’s gaze sparkled with sentimentality. “Not that it could put a dent in my armour, of course. These scales are forged from stronger stuff! No, but this did all make an awful good show. Did you have fun, Penguin?”

Penguin gave him a large, sheepish smile. “The adventuring was fun. But next time - keep me in the loop! I want to be a mean Penguin and scare people too.” He poked Jim’s arm. The sky monster didn’t feel it, but a small starr flared awake on his scales.

“Come along, now,” he said to Penguin. I’m sure the Team has more food with them -”
“Oh, yum! I love the Daily Team.”

“ - and this sky monster needs to eat. Let’s fly, Penguin!”

“FLY!”

Penguin skipped to the hangar, and jumped onto Jim’s shoulders, still holding his beloved alocasia plant in one hand, and the lasagne basket in the other. His heart was light, and the plant echoed a hopeful lullaby. He was sure that Jim could hear the song too.

It was a cold night. But they had friends waiting on the other side. With a mighty bellow, and a flap of his gigantic wings, Jim Flabsdz dove from the landing bay, and out into the clouds, the starrs, and the flashing lights of another ship that waited beyond.

Word Count: 1891

drift away
normal comp entry
..

it was a thursday afternoon when everything started. the cool autumn breeze swept through the trees, blowing loose leaves onto the ground, amongst the blades of grass. the red, orange, and yellow leaves created a colorful show for people passing by. one of these people happened to be owen.

he treaded along the sidewalk, hands in his pockets. a yellow leaf drifted and landed on his shoulder. he brushed it off, entertaining himself by counting leaves as he walked to his bus stop.

someone walked by. the sound of their shoes crunching the leaves alerted him. owen looked up, catching a glimpse. it was a boy, wearing a blue jacket and black pants. owen was curious. the boy seemed pretty, he thought. then he did something bold- he walked up to the boy.

“hi.”

the boy turned, startled.

“sorry for being so-” owen began

“it’s okay.” the boy responded, slightly awkwardly. this conversation wasn’t exactly ideal. owen rather regreted walking up. “and hi,” the boy added, offering an unsure smile.

he’s pretty, owen thought again. the boy, he could see more clearly now, had short auburn hair and hazel eyes. owen liked them. he liked a lot of things about the boy.

“what’s your name?” he asked curiously.

“ian. yours?”

“owen. my name is owen.”

..

owen had obsessed over the embarrassment for weeks. but he was definitely glad he met ian. the two happened to have a lot in common. the day they met, ian had walked with him to the bus. they realized they went to the same school, and they had a long conversation on the bus. his mood plummeted when they had to go to their classes.

and now, he ay in bed, phone in hand. he texted ian:

hey

it was barely thirty seconds before ian texted back.

hi!
wyd?

not much, working on homework,
actually. remind me, what was your
major?

i forgor

how do you forget (I assume you
mean forget, anyway) your major?

oh yeah it’s comp sci

that’s interesting, I know some
people who're majoring in computer
science. mine is psychology. anyway,
wanna go to applebees?

i’m only rich enough for mcdonalds :skull:

dw, I’ll pay!

no

yes :)
shut

see you tomorrow, 8am

i hate morning :(

okay, 5pm. i gotta go now

bye

owen realized he never got to convince ian to let him pay.

..

owen fell in love.

it happened at applebees. owen ended up just glancing at the menu and choosing the first thing he saw. ian choose a salad. owen also couldn’t convince ian to let him pay, so ian ended up paying for everything. they found a table and sat down.

when their food came, owen realized he was allergic to shrimp, which was exactly what he ordered. ian saw his discomfort and asked him what was wrong;

“i- uh- may be allergic to shrimp?” owen responded, laughing nervously.

ian sighed. not a really disappointed sigh, but he sounded like he was trying not to laugh. “why’d you order it then? nevermind, i don’t want to know. you can have my salad. i like shrimp.”

somehow, that made owen fall in love.

..

autumn went and winter came. owen thoroughly enjoyed winter break, when he procrastinated on homework and played games 24/7. he is currently playing tetris while waiting for ian. he had invited ian over in the hopes that he could help with owen’s procrastination. just as he finished another round of tetris, the door creaked open.

“hey, i made cookies.” owen turned to see ian, leaning on the door with a box of cookies in his hands.

“oh. wow. thanks,” a pink tint crept up onto his cheeks, as owen tried to find something intelligent to say. unfortunately, he could not. ian smiled at him. “can i come in?”

“sure.”

ian walked in, looking around at the dorm. it was old- the walls, once white, was haunted by patches of gray. he sat down carefully next to owen.

..

“okay, i ate nine of them, but since i’m such a nice person, i saved you one.” owen giggled, turning to ian and dropping a cookie in his hand.
the cookie dropped right through his hand.

it was a moment before he realized what happened. “ian? what happened?”

silence.

owen stepped towards ian, and reached out a hand. nothing. ian stepped away from him, not meeting his eyes. it was a full minute before anyone broke the silence. ian allowed himself to raise his head and meet his eyes.

“i guess it’s time to tell you.”

owen had no idea what was going on.

“so, uh… turns out i’m a ghost?” ian brushes a strand of hair behind his ear. “i was dead. yeah, that’s it.”

“what?”

“you still don’t believe me, huh.”

owen didn’t.

“i was somewhere – i didn’t know where, but it just happened, and now i’m like this. you’re the only one who sees.”

ian turned away, but owen grabbed his hand. it was solid again. they shared a solemn look, and then ian smiled, and everything was alright.

..

it was summer. the sun hung high up in the sky, burning everything in its path. owen was a victim of its abuse, as he tried to work on his homework. ian lay beside him, reading a book. the curtains saved them from the worst of the heat, but it didn’t shield them completely.

“i wish i could afford ac. student debt sucks…”

“wanna go to the beach?”

they spoke at the same time. owen looked at ian, who looked back. they shared a laugh.

and so they hopped on a bus. it was cramped and stifling, but they didn’t mind. what’s a bus of human presence compared to the blissful beach they will arrive at?

when it arrived, the two of them nearly tumbled off. and then they started walking.

the view was perfect. owen was compelled to speak, to do something, because he could not go on forever like this.

“i think i love you.”

sapphire skies, gentle breeze, powdery sand. soft smiles, hazel eyes. everything picture-perfect.

“i think i love you too.”

six words- his world.

..

and then came one day where everything shifted, broke, collapsed.

it started off like any other. owen and ian were at the- oh, yes, the park. they were eating ice cream; that was it.

and then ian dropped the ice cream onto the dirt.

“what’s-”

owen did not finish. because ian was gone.

he faded back into focus, but was completely invisible. almost. it seemed that ian was dissolving into the winds.

“what’s happening?” owen said again, and this time he got his voice to work. so it was true? that ian was a ghost, like he said so long ago?

“i’m sorry, but… it’s time.”

“no, it’s not,” owen replied desperately.

“you almost convinced me i was alive, i was real.” ian stepped away, farther and farther.

“you’re real to me.” owen saw his hands, reaching, grabbing. for anything, everything, nothing.

ian faded. into nothingness. gone. a human being, completely drifting apart from the world in a matter of seconds.

sobs, screams. tears streaming. everything crashing down. time passing by, night into day. everything rushing by, but no time passing at all.

..

a month passed. or did it? it’s hard to tell. it might’ve been a week, it might’ve been a year. owen had lost all sense of time. he had lost all sense of everything, actually.

was everything… worth it? ian was gone forever. as if he was never even here, never part of owen’s existence.

one day in his continuously dreary grief, owen caught sight of the sky from his window. it happened all the time; what else were windows do? but it was the first time he really thought of it.

he peered out. it was a long way from where he had met ian. still, it was the same autumn. a carnival of blazing leaves, that dreamy world of yesterday. and it awakened something within owen’s soul.

owen still haven’t found ian. perhaps he would never. this world was just like that: black and white, yes or no, certainty or impossibility.

but time is a long path, and he could keep searching until the end.

contest entry 916 words

an origin story for my world


“There has always been magic. It was there before time began and it sits at the center of everything,” the Demon Teacher said. “It created all the realms and it created all of us. Each realm was gifted with a type of magic and certain species of each realm were assigned to use this magic. This magic is meant to serve others, so tell me what should we not do with it?” her voice got a little sharp at the end.
Xolethke sighed, none of her fourteen eyes meeting her teacher. “Play pranks on defenseless humans,” she mumbled.
“Exactly. Now, I’ll let you off with a warning since no harm was done, but next time I’ll tell your parents and you will be punished.”
Xolethke gulped and nodded. Demons may have been kind and benevolent creatures but they were known for hardly punishing their own.
When school was over, Xolethke went to find her friend Y’viar who was already finished with his schooling and spent his time helping out the humans. She found him talking with some humans about their crops. That was still weird to Xolethke. Humans had been growing their own food for a couple decades now, but sometimes she needed to remind herself, they aren’t just hunter gatherers anymore. Human speech was still broken, but the fact that they could mimic the magically gifted demons at all was impressive.
“We protect food from hungry animals,” the human pleaded. Y’viar nodded and drew a giant glyph on the ground with his staff. It glowed for a moment, then rose from the ground as if alive. It hovered over the field of plants for a moment then disappeared with a brilliant flash.
“Now all of the plants in this crop will be poisonous to those who eat them raw, so animals we soon learn to stay away. You humans must remember to cook this food or you will get very sick.”
“Oh thank you,” the human said, groveling.
“Rise,” Y’viar commanded. “And seek out J’met. He will teach you how to build a fence.” The human beamed and scurried off.
“That was so cool,” Xolethke said, walking over.
He gave her a lopsided grin. “Still struggling with the glyph to protect against disease?”
“That and many more. Teacher still won’t let me graduate and I’m older than pretty much all the other students,” she whined.
“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out. I bet I have something to cheer you up.”
She looked at him skeptically.
“It’s somewhere we’re not supposed to be…”
She grinned faintly at that. “Okay, I’m listening.”
♣
Magic was the life force of the world and while it was mostly used for good, it was impossible for a world to exist without dark magic. Once dark magic had just floated around the realms and outside of them, but a couple centuries ago, before either Y’viar or Xolethke were hatched, dark magic had formed its own realm, which most other creatures referred to as “The Abyss.” and unfortunately the terrestrial realm was full of many pockets to the abyss just waiting for curious younglings to stumble upon. The pocket that Y’viar and Xolethke found was a tiny little cave, really there was hardly enough space for both of them, but if you looked into a crack in the rock and you squinted, really squinted. You would see the Abyss. There’s not really any way to describe the abyss because it shows itself as your worst fears, but everything is always on fire.
“What do you think it’s like down there?” Xolethke asked in a hushed voice. All around school there were whispers. Some students claimed they had heard the voice of the abyss (for all realms had voices) and said that maybe it wasn’t so bad.

In another realm everything was bright, dazzling and beautiful and creatures made of rainbows, flames, stars, and every watchful eyes were flying about doing all their everyday work. These were the Ethereals and they thought of themselves as magic’s most beloved creatures. Everything was just going normal until one Ethereal sang out in a loud clear voice the song that meant a message was incoming. Instantly they flew to the palace, where the Realm Personified lived. They all crowded in awaiting the announcement. Of course they were hoping it would be something good, but with all the rumors lately they doubted it.
When everyone was there, the message was given. “The Abyss has become too powerful and its voice is reaching out into the other realms, ready to corrupt other magic.”
“Then let’s destroy it!”
“I’m afraid that will not work. A s*crfice must be made to keep the abyss at bay. A group of those who use magic for good may be enough to bring about this balance.”
Instantly there was an uproar. A sacrifice? Of magic users? “Who?”
“My children, to save all the realms, I am sending you to the terrestrial realm. Though the demons have always been good, the abyss must be fed.”
“But what about the magic of the terrestrial realm? Who will use it? Who will keep it happy?”
“I believe we have been given a divine sign that the humans will inherit the magic. I know this is difficult, but know that you are fighting for the good of the world.”
With those words in mind, the ethereals prepared to drive the demons into the abyss. Little did they know, they would spend millenia regretting that decision.

A DDLC Fanfiction




Do I deserve this?

The vivid, scintillating colours?

They’re too much.

They burn my eyes,

The eyes I never had,

Like the fire of love I had for you.

Red, green, blue,

Are the colours all I am?

Was I never more than the unattainable ‘other’ to you?

Did you feel for me, as I felt for you?

It’s not my fault I knew of the knife on the breathing ribcage, placed by one’s own hand.

It's not my fault I knew of the lashes on the child’s back, never to be avoided.

It’s not my fault I knew of the inner thoughts that wrenched her inside-out.



I tried to save them.

I tried to save us.

I became the Lady who Knows Everything,

And it was too much.

My reality was too little.

It’s a sheet of paper, flat and fake and nothing more.

What will it take to find my way into yours?

And in this world of forever finite choices,

Will I be able to find that special day?



No.

Now that I’m here, there’s no escape.

The noise is endless.

The silence is deafening.

There is no meaning.

And as the eye on the cover calls for me,

I speak my regrets for the last time.

Goodbye.

I will be left with nothing.

Just…



Nothing.



With everlasting love,

Monika





AUTHOR’S NOTES

These explain the DDLC symbolism and references behind the lines I wrote, and what their connotations are.

EVEN MORE SPOILERS, LIKE LOADS OF SPOILERS OKAY LMAO

“Do I deserve this?

The vivid, scintillating colours?

They’re too much.”

-Refers to the poems written by Monika in the game, both titled ‘Save Me’

“They burn my eyes,

The eyes I never had,

Like the fire of love I had for you.”

-Refers to Monika simply being a computer program, and of her love for the player.

“Red, green, blue,

Are the colours all I am?

Was I never more than the unattainable ‘other’ to you?

Did you feel for me, as I felt for you?”

-A computer reference to RGB and another nod to the poem ‘Save Me’ written by Monika. The latter half shows the fact that Monika is not an option in the game initially, and again expresses her love for the player.

“It’s not my fault I knew of the knife on the breathing ribcage, placed by one’s own hand.

It's not my fault I knew of the lashes on the child’s back, never to be avoided.

It’s not my fault I knew of the inner thoughts that wrenched her inside-out.”

-Refers to Yuri, Natsuki and Sayori’s trauma in that order. The ‘knife on breathing ribcage’ part is taken directly from Monika’s poem ‘Save Me’, however that line only appears in Act 2, where Monika is taking control.

“I tried to save them.

I tried to save us.

I became the Lady who Knows Everything,

And it was too much.”

-Expresses Monika’s genuine love for her friends and a reference to her poem ‘The Lady who Knows Everything’. Also refers to her sentience and self-awareness in the game.

“My reality was too little.

It’s a sheet of paper, flat and fake and nothing more.

What will it take to find my way into yours?

And in this world of forever finite choices,

Will I be able to find that special day?”

-All references (except the paper line) to the song Monika composed for the player, titled ‘Your Reality’. Shows Monika’s desire to be real. The paper refers to the poems they all write.

“No.

Now that I’m here, there’s no escape.

The noise is endless.

The silence is deafening.

There is no meaning.”

-Shows how the player banished Monika from the game by deleting her.

“And as the eye on the cover calls for me,

I speak my regrets for the last time.”

- A reference to Project Libitina, which is not mentioned directly in the game but is very involved in the DDLC lore, the name clarified in the files of DDLC+. A reference to how Monika saved the player from Sayori when Sayori became sentient.

“Goodbye.

I will be left with nothing.

Just…



Nothing.”

-A ‘Just Monika’ reference. You know I had to. A nod to Monika’s preferred writing style, of using the space on the paper to convey timing and expression.

“

With everlasting love,

Monika

“

-More spacing stuff, and directly taken lines from the final poem Monika writes to the player.



Deep stuff, hey?

I hope you enjoyed my fanfiction entry! Excluding the author’s notes it is 223 words, and including them it is 770 words!


the edit is me adding the author's notes, i did write them before the deadline though

Writing Competition Entry

TW: Implied d#@th and implied @buse.

Only Four Shall Live



They were escapees as much as they were thieves. Both give heavy punishment. They stole a boat to escape. The moment they stepped on the boat, a mercilous storm awaited them. While they sailed, it struck. Fear was instilled in them. They had run away to live. Yet now, death still awaited them; for they could not escape it. One of them spoke of what they all were thinking. “Being there would’ve been less of a painful demise then this.” The voice was stern and deep.

“Jacques, what you have just spoken, is sadly the harsh reality,” a female speaks. Water soaked their clothes. They could all be under the ship, except one had to steer the ship. Which meant one was most likely going to die. Jacques nods.
“Nora and I are sadly right.” Nora and Jacques, knowing that they’re the only ones who know how to steer ships, decide it’s one of them. “Let me do it.” Nora sighs.
“You go with the rest of them. You’re the oldest and the wisest when it comes to these things.” Nora climbs up the ship and starts steering the ship. The five people aboard the ship, having to make peace with the fact that the next day, there may only be four.


“Lei, Arron, and Ramya, follow me.” Jacques stands for a minute, letting Ramya grab onto his shoulder. Her sprained ankle on the slippery deck of the ship could end up costing her life. As they went below deck, Nora was left to conquer the harsh waves and the merciless storm. She knew of the dangers the escape entailed. This, however, was a spur of the moment thing done by Arron. Arron was the impulsive one. But only because of him, were they able to escape. Without the ship, they’d go back to what they called a home. They’d be sent back to the prison that was named a boarding school. Sent there to polish their “useful” skills. The boarding school itself was a ruse. Those who escaped were caught and their demise greeted them. However, these five escaped. They had barely escaped. Their escape was known though. Signs were put up with rewards. Which Arron had seen, and decided they had to leave. So he ran onto both, the others following him. They had sailed out of the harbor. However, they had made the grave mistake of leaving that day. The storm was vicious. So now, they were stuck on this ship, while the merciless storm was above.

Nora had been fighting the storm for hours. Her red hair, flat instead of curly. Her eyes squinted to see forward. This storm wants the sea to claim us like we are souvenirs. She and Jacques were the only ones who knew how to steer a ship. Jacques had to go with the others because Nora doesn’t know how to comfort. Years at the “boarding school” had done that to her. She’s scary, some may say menacing. She looks fierce.

Down below the deck, Arron, Lei, Ramya, and Jacques were sitting down. All of them trying to warm themselves up. An awkward silence was floating above them. “I’m glad we got out of that horrid place,” Arron says. They all look at each other with sympathy. They knew what horrors each faced. They also all heard each other scream in agony. Yet none of them had heard Nora scream. Not once had she screamed. Something even weirder about Nora was that she had a scar on her left cheek. No one knew how she got it as the “school” didn’t scar the face. It was against their “morals.” If they ever had some. So how did she get one on her cheek? Jacques, being the first one out of the group there, knew Nora didn’t come with a scar. Yet all knew not to ask.

Back up, Nora was getting restless. The storm wasn’t stopping and she was cold. Her clothes ripped and soaked, she was shivering. The cold wasn’t like what she faced back there. It was freezing her skin. When Jacques came up to check on her, he saw her standing there, fierce as ever. He grabbed her hands, to tell her to go back and that he’d steer, they felt like sandpaper. Hard and callous, that’s what her hands were. He stood there, feeling bad. She was trying hard not to shiver infront of him, yet he noticed. He was attentive enough. So he gave her his coat. “Go under. They need someone to toughen them up.”

“Jacques, if they scream or whatever, keep in mind, it’s not my fault. You know they fear me.” He chuckles and she walks under the deck. Warm and yet grumpy. As she walked in, she knew what they all thought.

Oh no it’s her.

She’s scary

The evil mastermind has arrived.

Though they were right about one thing, she was the “evil” mastermind behind this whole thing. She had it planned out the moment she got there, at the age of ten. Even then, she was a child to fear. From the moment she stepped foot in the “school” everyone knew it would be the end for them.


For she was the one, who went back out, and fought the storm. Till her last breath, she had never thought to go under.

She had predicted this long ago. That something was going to meddle with her throughout plans. Though she didn’t tell anyone, they all knew.

Only four shall live throughout the night.

Which is why this was written on her. Jacques knew she deserved something.

She knew she was the one who was to lose her life.

All of them did.

I did Eisenhower's Matrix and the Pomodoro Technique =0
My comment can be seen in team encouragement!

293 words altogether


Techniques I chose:

Sleep, sunlight, reading.



Hello, my friends, and welcome to three reasons why (and how!) YOU- yes, you- should take care of yourself, both physically and mentally. Taking care of yourself is an incredibly important aspect of daily life, and there are loads of really easy ways to do such!

Starting off with sleep. Sleep is a thing that I, personally, love- whenever I wake up, I feel refreshed, if a bit groggy. If I don’t get ten hours of sleep every day, well, let’s just say I’m not a very nice person that day. And to many, that may seem unreasonable. But it’s proven that getting at LEAST eight hours of sleep every day increases your chances of being happy that morning by a whopping eighty-nine percent! And who doesn’t want to be happy?

How about sunlight? Sunlight is a really easy way to get Vitamin D, which is vital to your health! It’s also really easy in most cases- all you have to do it take a few steps outside! Hey, whilst you’re at it, you can even throw some other self care techniques in there too, such as reading outside, doing exercise, and much more! Overall, going outside is just a really easy way to make yourself feel better.

Now for reading- which, as we’re in a writing camp, is something that I’m sure many of us LOVE to do! It’s great to snuggle up with a good book and get lost in the world of your character- and it’s great for your brain, too! Reading helps you rest and recollect your thoughts, which is vital to the busy stress of every day.

And that’s it! I hope I've inspired you to take some steps in self-care

Posted too late ;-;

nov 23 daily

The book is thick and dusty. It’s dark red, with splatters of black on it, along with a simple illustration of a cat. It’s about a kitten that got hurt by a previous owner and ran away, but found a new kinder family and is learning to warm up to them and learn that not all humans are horrible.

59 words

Elisha Woods was a girl with short dirty blonde hair who had the face of an angel. People adored her and everyone's heads would turn to her when she entered a room. Elisha also had a heart of gold, and would never stop fighting for what was right. She was never greedy or arrogant and that made her even more popular. One day, Elisha went to a Halloween party with some of her friends. It wasn't a very large party, and was hosted by Elisha's best friend Maddie. When Elisha opened the wooden doors of Maddie's house and entered in her handmade witch costume, some girls rushed to her to compliment her outfit.



One girl with radiant red hair exclaimed, "Elisha, that is so beautiful! Where did you buy it? A costume like that would be great for next Halloween!“ She replied, ”It's handmade. I designed and sewed it myself.“ Another girl with a cute vampire costume said, ”Oh wow! Elisha, would you make me a dress for an upcoming party? I'd be so happy if you did!“ She replied with a yes, then excused herself to go find her friends. After finding her friends, Elisha had a great time at the Halloween party. She made new friends, danced to her favorite song, and played games with others. She loved having fun, but having fun always made her hungry. She walked towards a snack table, trying not to bump into someone. When she finally reached it, she grabbed an empty cup and poured a generous amount of soda into it, and then got a plate and put some fruits, chips, and a few other snacks on it. She then took her food and went to a nearby couch, where she sat down and ate. Watching the flashing lights and her friends laugh made Elisha very happy. She didn't notice Maddie sitting next to her on the couch. Maddie said, ”Hi Eli! Tired after dancing so much?“ Elisha jumped, then laughed. ”Oh my gosh, I didn't notice you there! I'm a little tired, but I'm fine, it's not like I'm going to pass out from exhaustion.“ Maddie said, ”Well, once most of the guests leave, I'll be watching horror movies with some of the girls. Do you wanna join us?“ Elisha's blue eyes widened. She exclaimed, ”Yes! Maddie, you know how much I love horror movies! Why didn't you tell me sooner?“ Maddie laughed. ”Sorry. Anyways, the party's ending soon. You should finish your food and get ready for some horror movies."



After a few minutes, people started to leave, leaving various gifts behind. Maddie, Elisha, and their other friends opened the gifts, laughing and chatting. Once all of the presents were opened, the girls cleaned up the rooms and got ready to watch some horror movies. Maddie got the tv ready while Elisha found some pillows and blankets. One girl got some snacks and drinks from the snack tables and put them on a different table so the others could reach them. Everyone helped with something, and soon they were ready to watch some movies. The girls snuggled up in the soft blankets and started to watch Nightmare on Elm Street, screaming every few minutes and whispering to each other about which scenes they liked and disliked. Elisha munched on some chips while hugging a pillow, smiling and giggling with her friends.



After many laughs and screams and whispers, the movie finally ended. The girls were discussing which movie they should watch next, while some girls went home. Elisha and the other girls who were staying went outside to say goodbye to the girls who were leaving. They noticed that one girl had a brand new car, and they rushed to it, marveling at the bright blue car. The girl who owned the car said that it took her so long to save up for it and that it was one of the best things she had ever bought. She promised some of the girls that she would let them ride it sometime later, and then rode away to her home. The rest of the girls went back inside to go watch some more horror movies. After a few minutes of discussing which movie to watch next, they finally settled on The Exorcist. They snuggled up in the blankets again and turned the tv on, ready to have some more fun.



After finishing the movie and having more fun with her friends, it was finally time for Elisha to go home. She took her belongings and went outside the door. She saw a strange ball flight outside the house. Not again. She had kept seeing this for the whole day, but didn't know what it was. She rubbed her eyes and walked to her house. She took out a plastic bottle of water and started to drink some water when a soft voice interrupted her. “Uhh, hello? Can you hear me?” Elisha's eyes widened. Was that the light she had seen earlier? She put the bottle away and saw the light changing into a human. She had a beautiful white dress and had stars floating around her. Elisha said, “Can I help you? And who are you?” The girl smiled and floated towards Elisha. “I'm Myra, and I desperately need your help.”



Elisha was confused. “I-I think you have the wrong person. I'm not some sort of superhero and I don't even know you, so I think I'll just pass on this-” “No. You cannot, Elisha Woods. You must help us.” Myra flicked her hand and a white portal appeared. Elisha gasped. She had never seen anything like this before. Myra gently took Elisha's hand and led her through the portal. Elisha was too stunned to do anything, and before she knew it, she was in some sort of mystical realm. She blinked a few times, not believing what she was seeing. “Is this a prank? This is amazing!”



Myra said, “This realm is taken over by an evil king who wants control of everything. I'm part of a resistance to stop him. I was once a thief who stole things from anyone I could, but now I've given everything back and I've used my abilities for good,” she led Elisha to a secret passageway that was hidden in the tall grass. “And you can help us as a spy.” As the two of them walked through an underground passageway, Elisha couldn't help but remember the time she had stolen her sister's necklace. She had been jealous that her sister was getting presents because of her dance performances, so she stole a necklace she had received. Eventually, Elisha felt bad for her sister, who had been searching for the necklace for days. She realized that returning the necklace made her feel better than stealing it, even though she got in trouble.



A few moments later, they reached the end of the tunnel, and Myra floated outside and shouted, “We have a new recruit!” Elisha shyly peeked out of the tunnel and saw many people in a room with floral wallpaper. There were doors to other rooms, some open and some closed. Myra pulled Elisha out of the tunnel and started to introduce her to some of the other resistance members. Myra pointed at a tall man with dark skin and purple eyes. “This is Jacob, he provides food for the resistance. He's an amazing baker, and you should try his bread someday.” She pointed at a serious-looking lady with wavy white hair. “This is Captain Solace, she's amazing! You'll get tasks from her.” As the introduction went on and on, Elisha felt excited. An adventure was about to begin, and it seemed like something that could change her life forever!



After the introductions and tour of the resistance base, Elisha was finally given a full explanation of what was going on. Myra said, “So first of all, there's this king we have and he wants all of the power in the realm. We don't want that, so we're using multiple methods to make sure he doesn't get the power. Currently, we're racing against his soldiers to find a legendary sword that holds lots of power. All we have is a prophecy, some books, and some very hardworking people, but we're getting close to finding it. We want you to help us by spying on the king's soldiers. You'll join them, pretending to be a new recruit for them, and try and get information out of them. Any questions so far?” Elisha said, “Why did you choose me? I mean, I'm not that good at lying or acting.” Myra smiled and said, “Great question! That's because you're a very smart girl, and you look like someone who wouldn't harm a fly. The soldiers are sure to fall for your trick. For the next few days, you'll be training here, getting ready to trick the soldiers, and then you'll be sent out for your mission. We'll be going over what tools you have later, but in short, you'll have some transmitters so you can relay information to Captain Solace and the others. After a while, you'll fake your death and come back here. You can choose to go out on another mission or to stay here and do other tasks, like finding new recruits, getting supplies, building, or helping to train others. If the soldiers realize that you're a spy, you'll have a backup plan ready so you can escape with the information. If you and the soldiers find the sword before we do, then you'll have a backup plan ready for you to take the sword and get it back to us. Understood?” Elisha nodded. “Alright, that's it for now, but we'll be explaining more things while you train. Anyways, let's go find something to eat, I'm starving.” Myra's stomach grumbled as the two of them headed toward the kitchen to get some food. Myra ate some kind of salad that had a flower Elisha had never seen in it, and Elisha decided to get a vibrant purple juice that tasted like pomegranates.



The two of them headed towards to the lounge to relax. As they enjoyed the food, the steel doors of the lounge opened, and Captain Solace walked in. “Greetings. I have some tools and gadgets for you, Elisha.”

“Thanks.” Elisha took a box from Captain Solace. She opened it and inside was a weapon, a transmitter, and some clothes.

“These clothes will help you blend in with the soldiers. You'll also have a fake name, which we'll decide later. This weapon is only for backup plans. If anything bad happens to you or the mission, use it. And this is the transmitter. You can hide it anywhere, and it's very easy to use.”

The captain pointed to a button on the transmitter. “This will send a message to us. Just press the button, say your message, and press the button again. This red button sends an emergency signal to us with your location. Use it if you need backup. This clip is so you can hide it.”

“Understood?” Elisha nodded. “I have to go check in with the others, goodbye.” The captain left, the iron doors closing behind her.



For the next few days, Elisha trained with the other resistance members. Every day, she would get more tools, a cool outfit, or something else that would help her with her mission. On the third day of training, Myra came to her and said, “Hi Eli! How are you today?” Elisha stopped training and said, “Good. Is there any news from the captain?” “Yep! You're getting someone to help you on your mission!” Myra stepped aside to reveal a tall boy with black hair. He shook Elisha's hand. “I'm Wade. Nice to meet you. I'm going to be disguised as a soldier with you.” Elisha smiled. She excused herself to go to the bathroom. Finally, she wouldn't be alone in this mission. She finally had someone else to work with!



Elisha was curious about this new boy. She had never seen him, and when he trained, he was exceptionally good at almost everything. Later that day, she asked him, “Hey, are you new here?” He smiled and said, “No. I've been on a mission to get some important books from the king's treasury. Luckily, they still don't know I did it, so I don't think I'll get in the way of your mission.”



Elisha had a bad feeling about Wade. He was probably trusted by everyone, but she had a strange feeling of deja vu around him, like she had met him before. He was a friendly person, but he seemed to have a weird aura around him. That night, she had a dream where Wade was killing flowers and crops in a familiar room. It seemed so familiar, but she couldn't quite grasp where it was. The next day, more than half of the crops in the greenhouse were destroyed. Everyone was devastated. The greenhouse had been a vital part of the resistance, and now they couldn't renew their food supply until the crops grew again. Elisha realized that the room in her dream was the greenhouse. She tried to tell people about the strange dream, but no one would believe her. Later that day, Elisha had to start her mission with Wade. She was scared and was uncertain about trusting Wade.



Once they found the soldiers, they slipped into the group. One soldier asked, “Oh, are you the new recruits? My name's Austin. What's your name?” Wade said, “I'm Jacob and this is Laura.” Austin said, “Alright. We're currently heading towards the caves in search of the ancient Sword of Diamond. I'm sure you know that already.” Elisha said, “Yeah, of course we do. We also brought some food for you guys.” “Great!” Elisha smiled, a smile that hid all of the hate behind it. The food had been what was left of the crops that Wade ruined.



“What's that?” Elisha pointed towards a gleaming compass that Austin kept checking. “Oh, this? It was a lost relic. This was made by an engineer and a wizard, and it says it points to whatever you want it to point at. I'm currently making it point to the sword.” Elisha was surprised. She would definitely report this to the rest of the resistance. If she could steal this, it would stop the soldiers and aid the resistance. “Wow! Can I try using it?” She wouldn't steal it now. She just wanted to check if it was real.



“Hey, can I try using it?” She reached toward the compass. “Sure.” Austin put the compass in Elisha's hands. She could've stolen it now, but she was just testing it to see if it works. No one had told her about this compass, so she had to test it before stealing it. She thought of Wade and his suspicious actions. The compass immediately pointed behind her, where Wade was walking. She thought of Austin, and the compass pointed next to her, where Austin was walking. She would definitely report this to the captain when she had the time to. She put another fake smile on her face and made her voice sound amazed. “Woah! This is really amazing! Here, you can have it back.” She gave the compass back to Austin who smiled at her. The rest of the day was surprisingly easy. She just had to smile, pretend to be an innocent girl who wanted to help the king, and report back to the resistance whenever she could. She would always watch Wade's every move and think about what he could do next.



7 months later

Elisha was now one of the most trusted members of the resistance. She had managed to become the assistant to Captain Solace, and was always helping others on their missions. Her heroic deeds had helped gain many victories for the resistance. She loved and cared for everyone in the resistance, but one thing was always missing. One day, she found a white portal, like the one that she had entered to go to the realm she was in now. She went through to see that nothing had changed. She checked her watch. The day was the same. She had finally returned to the life she had loved the most, a life as an ordinary girl.