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- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
eevee's megathread <3
hihi! i'm eevee/elynn and welcome to my forum megathread! this acts as a master post to keep everything nice and organized, mostly consisting of writing. feel free to leave critiques either here or on my profile! <3
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
swc
march 2021 writing thread
march writing comp entry
horror: rebellion against hosts
hrah: new forum
november 2021 writing thread
sci-fi collab story
march 2022 writing thread
july 2022 writing thread
real-fi collab story
july 2023 writing thread
march 2024 leader app
march 2024 writing thread
july 2024 writing thread
november 2024 writing thread
march 2025 writing thread
july 2025 writing thread
november 2025 writing thread
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
other camps
september tc
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
adopt bios
sleepy stars - adhira
traveling glamor - sejeong lee
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
other
letter of recommendation for paige
luna's birthday images
ranting about 28 hours
unfulfilled pinky promises
letters from land and sky
letters from land and sky (rewrite)
writing archive template
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
eevee's megathread <3
hihi! i'm eevee/elynn and welcome to my forum megathread! this acts as a master post to keep everything nice and organized, mostly consisting of writing. feel free to leave critiques either here or on my profile! <3
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
swc
march 2021 writing thread
march writing comp entry
horror: rebellion against hosts
hrah: new forum
november 2021 writing thread
sci-fi collab story
march 2022 writing thread
july 2022 writing thread
real-fi collab story
july 2023 writing thread
march 2024 leader app
march 2024 writing thread
july 2024 writing thread
november 2024 writing thread
march 2025 writing thread
july 2025 writing thread
november 2025 writing thread
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
other camps
september tc
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
adopt bios
sleepy stars - adhira
traveling glamor - sejeong lee
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
other
letter of recommendation for paige
luna's birthday images
ranting about 28 hours
unfulfilled pinky promises
letters from land and sky
letters from land and sky (rewrite)
writing archive template
⠀⠀──── ∘◦ ✦ ◦∘ ────
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Nov. 1, 2025 23:43:42)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Ranting about 28 Hours
8/14/2022
1186 words
Okayyy, hello! I will give a disclaimer that you probably shouldn't read this unless you want to be either very confused or get a /lot/ of spoilers. I would recommend you listen to the Adventures in Odyssey episodes of #946-950 as well as have a good idea of the series in general. Now getting onto the most likely long rant, that is for Dawn, but open to anyone who wants to read ^^ Um, there are a lot of facts and stuff that might not make sense, but I had an inclination to research it because I need something to do while waiting for Final Minutes to come out so like-
Something that anyone can read without context because people need to know- THE MUSIC RIGHT AFTER JASON SAYS “THEY'RE READING MY BRAIN” AND AS ‘DEAD OF NIGHT’ ENDS IS THE BEST MUSIC BY FAR- FIGHT ME ON THIS- John Campbell is so talented and that last bit of sci-fi techy suspense is sooo good- It's short and only appeared once (twice, if you include the recap part in the next episode) They need to include it in Final Minutes- That is the best music, I love it so much ;;;;;; <333 The soundtrack, in general, is really good, but that part in particular just encapsulates that moment so well aaaaaaaaah- Listened to it again and it's just- as perfect as it can get!! Okay, now back to the essay that might be like 1000 words or something :>
HEY DAWNNN <33 Okay, so I've been doing a lot of digging to kinda see what Kathy Buchanan might go about the finale of 28 Hours by what she has done in the past. She has little correlation with Tasha and Monica (around 1-2 episodes of writing for each of them), so she hasn't been in Jason and his love life. But, Kathy Buchanan created Mitch and wrote more than half of the Conne and Mitch Arc. He is entirely her character and she has firm thoughts about him. She wanted him to be someone for Connie, but overall Connie isn't ready for marriage. I do understand about Connie, but I do not understand the whole thing with Maureen- If they, the writers or Kathy Buchanan, introduced her a bit better and shown how Mitch and Maureen got along better than Connie and Mitch, it might have been a better acceptance of Mitch's engagement. Personally, it feels rushed- (Sources: Podcasts 107 and 148; AIO Wiki)
Okay now onto Jillian because yes- So Jillian is also a character made by the lovely Kathy Buchanan. There is only one episode that Jillian appears that is not written by Kathy Buchanan, which is Auto Response. You can sorta tell because she apparently has a friend named Harriet, but it is the episode she was last in before 28 Hours, but who knows! And Jillian's second voice actress, the one who currently voices her, Monica Padilla, was cast to play the opposite of Townsend Coleman, Jason's voice actor. (Emily O'Brien, her first voice actress, was only for 2018 and 2 episodes) Personally, I think that the AIO team wouldn't go through that to get rid of her already. Like, Mitch was only in 20 episodes before he left and then 2 more when he reappears with Maureen. After Final Minutes, Jillian is only going to be in 13 episodes! Also, if there is a new NSA agent who has been a pretty big character, as a writer, you are going to have a lot of potential for them. If Jillian doesn't get back onto being an NSA agent, either still under her current job of protecting Jason, assuming that that will still be a job :sobb: , or another case, she still has a job at Triple J Antiques! She hasn't been fired yet ;D
As far as Jilson goes, Monica Padilla was cast to play the opposite of Townsend Coleman so- And Jason as a character is a bit of a lighthearted flirter if that makes sense? I mean with Tasha is a bit more, but still slightly with Monica too. There is some lighthearted banter between him and Jillian in ‘Nightmares by Constance’ (uh- i listened to all of the episodes that jillian is part of today and yesterday so hahaha- i mean i haven't finished daybreak yet today but- EDIT: i have completed it now BD) But just Jason getting flustered around Jillian xDD Anti-Jilson things say that the writers (basically Kathy Buchanan) are forcing Jason and Jillian together. I do kinda see that, but THE MINI JILLIAN ARC IN THIS ALBUM- SDJKFHSDKJFHL- And also the persona of Jillian, in general, gets better and a little less severe as time goes on. She still keeps her innocent ‘literally’ Double-L act, while not being as annoying as when she first appeared, I guess. She says ‘HUGS!’ so many times in her first episode and doesn't do that in any other episode. And yes, what Jason says in ‘Morning’ perfectly describes Jillian :eyes: And unlike Tasha and Monica, which Jillian is similar to, Jillian is a Christian! Another pro for her, thank you very much. And just Jillian's honesty towards Jason as her true self is yessss- They compliment each other so much (not literally, but personality wise and such). Not Jillian literally risking her job nad potentially her life for Jason oop- (okay, the world, but she could have done the same thing without risking a lot for him!!) Their apologies to one another so sweet too >D<
Just 28 Hours in general, I don't think that there will be a lot of main character casualties. Injuries are likely; we aren't going to have a ‘no one gets hurt’ type finale. There are too many variables that could result in a lot of casualties. One thing I am still confused about is the notes that Skye wrote down. She wrote down 3 of the missiles and the Odyssey Memorial Hospital room. But what about the last one? There are 4 of them… I'm not sure what that means either about the last one. How are they going to wrap everything up in one episode? One thing that is possible is closing it up as much as they can and the rest is a cliffhanger (though not as bad) into the next album. It is quite a bit to wrap up in one episode. They have the 11 minutes for the kaboom and then need time for the aftermath of everything as well… There is so much that is affected by this and still so much to question and need answered aaah!
Can we just acknowledge that Kathy Buchanan isn't a writer? As in like she only became a writer because she was offered a job and had the time- She went to school for Christian counseling and has a counseling practice. Still, her writing is amazing and I love it- Though I don't always like exactly how she executes everything (that's a matter of personal opinion) it's still so good?? Amazing detailed plots that are humorous, get the story across well, and tell a lesson like- She's so good ;;;
8/14/2022
1186 words
Okayyy, hello! I will give a disclaimer that you probably shouldn't read this unless you want to be either very confused or get a /lot/ of spoilers. I would recommend you listen to the Adventures in Odyssey episodes of #946-950 as well as have a good idea of the series in general. Now getting onto the most likely long rant, that is for Dawn, but open to anyone who wants to read ^^ Um, there are a lot of facts and stuff that might not make sense, but I had an inclination to research it because I need something to do while waiting for Final Minutes to come out so like-
Something that anyone can read without context because people need to know- THE MUSIC RIGHT AFTER JASON SAYS “THEY'RE READING MY BRAIN” AND AS ‘DEAD OF NIGHT’ ENDS IS THE BEST MUSIC BY FAR- FIGHT ME ON THIS- John Campbell is so talented and that last bit of sci-fi techy suspense is sooo good- It's short and only appeared once (twice, if you include the recap part in the next episode) They need to include it in Final Minutes- That is the best music, I love it so much ;;;;;; <333 The soundtrack, in general, is really good, but that part in particular just encapsulates that moment so well aaaaaaaaah- Listened to it again and it's just- as perfect as it can get!! Okay, now back to the essay that might be like 1000 words or something :>
HEY DAWNNN <33 Okay, so I've been doing a lot of digging to kinda see what Kathy Buchanan might go about the finale of 28 Hours by what she has done in the past. She has little correlation with Tasha and Monica (around 1-2 episodes of writing for each of them), so she hasn't been in Jason and his love life. But, Kathy Buchanan created Mitch and wrote more than half of the Conne and Mitch Arc. He is entirely her character and she has firm thoughts about him. She wanted him to be someone for Connie, but overall Connie isn't ready for marriage. I do understand about Connie, but I do not understand the whole thing with Maureen- If they, the writers or Kathy Buchanan, introduced her a bit better and shown how Mitch and Maureen got along better than Connie and Mitch, it might have been a better acceptance of Mitch's engagement. Personally, it feels rushed- (Sources: Podcasts 107 and 148; AIO Wiki)
Okay now onto Jillian because yes- So Jillian is also a character made by the lovely Kathy Buchanan. There is only one episode that Jillian appears that is not written by Kathy Buchanan, which is Auto Response. You can sorta tell because she apparently has a friend named Harriet, but it is the episode she was last in before 28 Hours, but who knows! And Jillian's second voice actress, the one who currently voices her, Monica Padilla, was cast to play the opposite of Townsend Coleman, Jason's voice actor. (Emily O'Brien, her first voice actress, was only for 2018 and 2 episodes) Personally, I think that the AIO team wouldn't go through that to get rid of her already. Like, Mitch was only in 20 episodes before he left and then 2 more when he reappears with Maureen. After Final Minutes, Jillian is only going to be in 13 episodes! Also, if there is a new NSA agent who has been a pretty big character, as a writer, you are going to have a lot of potential for them. If Jillian doesn't get back onto being an NSA agent, either still under her current job of protecting Jason, assuming that that will still be a job :sobb: , or another case, she still has a job at Triple J Antiques! She hasn't been fired yet ;D
As far as Jilson goes, Monica Padilla was cast to play the opposite of Townsend Coleman so- And Jason as a character is a bit of a lighthearted flirter if that makes sense? I mean with Tasha is a bit more, but still slightly with Monica too. There is some lighthearted banter between him and Jillian in ‘Nightmares by Constance’ (uh- i listened to all of the episodes that jillian is part of today and yesterday so hahaha- i mean i haven't finished daybreak yet today but- EDIT: i have completed it now BD) But just Jason getting flustered around Jillian xDD Anti-Jilson things say that the writers (basically Kathy Buchanan) are forcing Jason and Jillian together. I do kinda see that, but THE MINI JILLIAN ARC IN THIS ALBUM- SDJKFHSDKJFHL- And also the persona of Jillian, in general, gets better and a little less severe as time goes on. She still keeps her innocent ‘literally’ Double-L act, while not being as annoying as when she first appeared, I guess. She says ‘HUGS!’ so many times in her first episode and doesn't do that in any other episode. And yes, what Jason says in ‘Morning’ perfectly describes Jillian :eyes: And unlike Tasha and Monica, which Jillian is similar to, Jillian is a Christian! Another pro for her, thank you very much. And just Jillian's honesty towards Jason as her true self is yessss- They compliment each other so much (not literally, but personality wise and such). Not Jillian literally risking her job nad potentially her life for Jason oop- (okay, the world, but she could have done the same thing without risking a lot for him!!) Their apologies to one another so sweet too >D<
Just 28 Hours in general, I don't think that there will be a lot of main character casualties. Injuries are likely; we aren't going to have a ‘no one gets hurt’ type finale. There are too many variables that could result in a lot of casualties. One thing I am still confused about is the notes that Skye wrote down. She wrote down 3 of the missiles and the Odyssey Memorial Hospital room. But what about the last one? There are 4 of them… I'm not sure what that means either about the last one. How are they going to wrap everything up in one episode? One thing that is possible is closing it up as much as they can and the rest is a cliffhanger (though not as bad) into the next album. It is quite a bit to wrap up in one episode. They have the 11 minutes for the kaboom and then need time for the aftermath of everything as well… There is so much that is affected by this and still so much to question and need answered aaah!
Can we just acknowledge that Kathy Buchanan isn't a writer? As in like she only became a writer because she was offered a job and had the time- She went to school for Christian counseling and has a counseling practice. Still, her writing is amazing and I love it- Though I don't always like exactly how she executes everything (that's a matter of personal opinion) it's still so good?? Amazing detailed plots that are humorous, get the story across well, and tell a lesson like- She's so good ;;;
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Aug. 14, 2022 22:49:19)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Letter of Recommendation for Paige
8/22/2022
121 words (160 w/notes)
I firmly believe that Paige would make a great leader. I've known her for over a year and I've seen how responsible xe is. They are active and make sure to get everything done. Gee is committed to SWC and I have never known her to be one who does not follow xyr words. They were incredibly helpful in getting me feeling accepted into SWC and figuring everything out. Since then, we have become close friends and I see that she continually motivates and spreads positivity. In Real-fi, Paige has a lot on xyr plate. But they didn't give up and tried her best. Overall, Gee is very approachable and responsible, both of which are traits that are praiseworthy in a leader.
(you can change the aliases so that it can be more consistent or just leave it as it is
and you can cut out some stuff, word maximums will be the end of swcers /lh /hj ily <333 /plat)
8/22/2022
121 words (160 w/notes)
I firmly believe that Paige would make a great leader. I've known her for over a year and I've seen how responsible xe is. They are active and make sure to get everything done. Gee is committed to SWC and I have never known her to be one who does not follow xyr words. They were incredibly helpful in getting me feeling accepted into SWC and figuring everything out. Since then, we have become close friends and I see that she continually motivates and spreads positivity. In Real-fi, Paige has a lot on xyr plate. But they didn't give up and tried her best. Overall, Gee is very approachable and responsible, both of which are traits that are praiseworthy in a leader.
(you can change the aliases so that it can be more consistent or just leave it as it is
and you can cut out some stuff, word maximums will be the end of swcers /lh /hj ily <333 /plat)- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Proof for FT attack
9/18/2022
200 words
Tennis is an incredible world sport and you do not want to miss out on watching this fascinating game. There is a lot you can get from watching tennis matches. There is always being able to burn a few hours and filling it with entertainment. You may also be a tennis enthusiasts or are aspiring to be one. Watching and observing a sport is a crucial way to improve and study the greats. By looking at the techniques professionals use, you can improve your own skills. Compare your own form to those of what you see others and try to mimic them. You can apply these new found skills to your own matches and be able to stay fit. There are many tennis enthusiasts and this can connect you to a community. Tennis is a sport that is popular and known worldwide. Being able to watch tennis matches online is a great alternative if you aren't able to go to the matches in person. Tennis is a sport that is of a high level of athletics. Not only does it require quick reaction time, but also hand-eye coordination. Watching tennis can lead you to find a lot of inspiring athletes.
9/18/2022
200 words
Tennis is an incredible world sport and you do not want to miss out on watching this fascinating game. There is a lot you can get from watching tennis matches. There is always being able to burn a few hours and filling it with entertainment. You may also be a tennis enthusiasts or are aspiring to be one. Watching and observing a sport is a crucial way to improve and study the greats. By looking at the techniques professionals use, you can improve your own skills. Compare your own form to those of what you see others and try to mimic them. You can apply these new found skills to your own matches and be able to stay fit. There are many tennis enthusiasts and this can connect you to a community. Tennis is a sport that is popular and known worldwide. Being able to watch tennis matches online is a great alternative if you aren't able to go to the matches in person. Tennis is a sport that is of a high level of athletics. Not only does it require quick reaction time, but also hand-eye coordination. Watching tennis can lead you to find a lot of inspiring athletes.
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Sept. 19, 2022 02:00:03)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Eevee's NanoArchive <3Hello! I'm Eevee and welcome to my archive of writings for Nanowrimo 2022! This also doubles as my unofficial SWC Nov 2022 things. I am Hi-fi's honorary! #Hi-FiFTW!! Feel free to leave critiques on my profile
Table of Context
——————————♕——————————
Word goal: 0/50,000
- Checkpoint #1: 11/3 5,000
- Checkpoint #2: 11/6 10,000
- Checkpoint #3: 11/9 15,000
- Checkpoint #4: 11/14 20,000
- Checkpoint #5: 11/_ 25,000
- Checkpoint #6: 11/_ 30,000
- Checkpoint #7: 11/_ 35,000
- Checkpoint #8: 11/_ 40,000
- Checkpoint #9: 11/_ 45,000
- Checkpoint #10: 11/_ 50,000
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Nov. 18, 2022 20:56:30)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
SWC: The Playlist
Included in Project
Original
Original
Greek God - Conan Gray, suggested by Rea @Willow_wonderful
It Is What It Is - Jamie Miller, suggested by Bakie @-ChocoLoco-
Fool - Cavetown, suggested by Goose @gooseful
Sisters of the Moon - Fleetwood Mac, suggested by Cae @Caesious
Outrunning Karma - Alec Benjamin, suggested by Wari @scratch_warrior_cat
City of Angels - Em Beihold, suggested by Paige @xc-egg
King and Lionheart - Of Monsters and Men, suggested by Sandy @sandy-dunes
Other Friends - Steven Universe, suggested by Viara @-JadeFox-
Pompeii - Bastille, suggested by Moonlit @MoonlitSeas
Viva La Vida - Coldplay, suggested by Addie @creativiity
Fix My Eyes - For King and Country, suggested by Mech @AmazingMech2418
Basket Case - Greenday, suggested by Gen @2GS6
Long Lost - Lord Huron, suggested by Lio @opheliio
Bam Bam - Camila Cabello ft. Ed Sheeran, suggested by Re @Rlove10
Boys Will Be Bugs - Cavetown, suggested by Robin @-redredrobin- (Bad Word Warning)
Lose You Now - Lindsey Stirling ft Mako, suggested by Birdi @Bellevue91
Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi, suggested by Dawn @Dawnlights-
Lethargy - Bastille, suggested by Zaine @Polarbear_17
Dancing With Our Hands Tied - Taylor Swift, suggested by Mayhem @mayhem-olympia
Clocks - Coldplay, suggested by Soki @Rey_venclaw
Sweater Weather - The Neighborhood, suggested by Luna @Luna-Lovegood-LOL
Added
Boreas - Oh The Hellos, suggested by Sun @Sunclaw68
Seven Years - Lukas Graham, suggested by Mystic @MysticScratcher101
Funeral - Phoebe Bridgers, suggested by Fae @-faerylights
Home - BTS, suggested by Mishel @dearbangtvn_
The Record Player Song - Daisy the Great, suggested by Piggy @piggy_puppy
Istanbul - They Might Be Giants, suggested by Linden @honey_breeze
The Nights - Avicii, suggested by Cami @hamilchaos
99 Luftballons - Nena, suggested by Sofi @Fantastical_Words
Paper Crown - Alec Benjamin, suggested by Kai @–Violetfern–
Defying Gravity - Wicked The Musical, suggested by Kit @KitVMH
The King - Conan Gray, suggested by Snowy @anomimieseawing
Little League - Conan Gray, suggested by Ashlee @bouquest
Fireflies - Owl City, suggested by Emmett @farmerjax
Welcome to Wonderland - Anson Seabra, suggested by Finley @essayist
Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers + Coldplay, suggested by Bella @-Wraiith
Not included in project
ARSON - J-HOPE, suggested by Starla @pure-randomness (Bad Word Warning)
Last edited by AmazaEevee (April 3, 2024 18:46:40)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Luna's Birthday Art and Photos
10/5/2022
Cami
Peggy
Leopard
Mech
Lio
Hop
Hannah
Moonlit
Trexi
Aqua
Gee
Paige
Zai(ne)
Arli
Soki
Eevee
10/5/2022
Cami
Peggy
Leopard
Mech
Lio
Hop
Hannah
Moonlit
Trexi
Aqua
Gee
Paige
Zai(ne)
Arli
Soki
Eevee
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Oct. 5, 2022 19:04:14)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
1k SWC Intro because
11/1/2022
1,003 words (with no hyphens in the sentence)
994 words (with hyphens)
A brunette taps a finger on the mic. “Ahem, is this rolling? Oh it is-” she cringes at the feedback screeching in her ear. “Okay then. Hi hi! This is Smiley Winky Child, abbreviated as SWC and my name came from the esteemed General Aria of the Science Fiction Realm of November 2021. And this is-”
“Eevee!” The girl next to SWC bursts. “Well, most commonly that is; I sure do have a lot of aliases… Let's see. Evelyn, Eve, eeveE, Palindrome, occasionally Millie… Does Ellie, Elle, and Ella count? Oh, and Eva.” She pauses, thinking of any other potential aliases. “Oh, my name came from the Pokémon… Anyways, here's what were doing in this podcast: We're doing the first daily of SWC, but currently neither of us are participating. I am an honorary for Hi-fi, so Hi-fi for the win!”
“Ah well,” Smiley Winky Child laughs, tugging at her hair, “I could never really participate in a session, as I am just a mascot, but if I ever did, it was November of 2021. Wow, that's been a year now…”
“A year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days,” SWC chants.
Eevee nudges SWC, causing her to stop in the middle of ‘8760 hours’. “I have participated in SWC, the camp that is, before and don't plan on abandoning it anytime soon, even if I'm not participating this session. I started in March 2021 and have since attended thrice as a camper and once as a co-leader.”
“I wonder if mascots could become a leader,” SWC asks to no one in particular and nods, “Can you write that down on our list, yep thank you.” She puts up two thumbs to the assistant off camera.
“Onto more important info!” Eevee announces cheerfully.
SWC rolls her eyes, “Or boring, but essential. Just like homework.”
Eevee raises an eyebrow. “Do the Winkys even get homework, being the quote ‘almighty ruling beings over the-’ ”
“Grandma Winky,” SWC counters, without emotion.
“Ah, okay,” Eevee nods, not bothering to question, “My pronoun set is she/her/hers/herself. And SWC's are…”
“She/her. Why do you have to make yours so complicated? There's simply she/her!” Smiley Winky Child comments, shaking her head.
Eevee mutters under her breath, “Shh, the 1k intro goal. The cool kids gang, you know…”
“Whatever,” SWC huffs. She scans the somewhat crumpled piece of paper in her hand. “Mhm. Here's the thing, I never ‘found’ Scratch Writing Camp; I came to be because of it. See, without Candylanguagegirl creating SWC to be a thing and General Aria becoming a leader for Sci-fi in November of 2021, I wouldn't exist. General Aria created Ms. Winky, also known as my mom, and then Dad was created, causing for my little brother to come into existence. Then was there's me, and Grandma and Grandpa Winky.”
Eevee smiles, “For me, I did find SWC, through Alyelle, as I am sure many others have. So, I signed up as backup camper in March 2021 and got in the Horror cabin with some of the best Horrorians ever! Since then, I've fallen in love with SWC-”
“Okay, I know everyone loves me, but…” SWC giggles, lightheartedly.
“SHUSH!” Eevee covers Smiley Winky Child's mouth. “Everyone knows that's not what I meant.”
(please, don't take this seriously :skull: it's a joke and this is one part of me talking to another part of me- but yes self-love <3)
SWC shrugs her shoulders, “You're the a-spec idiot, not me.”
“FANDOMS!” Eevee quickly changes the subject.
“Hm… That's a hard one. I've only read the comic books that Grandma Winky has,” SWC mutters, “She sure does have quite a few…”
Eevee shakes xyr head, “Oh, you poor uncultured child.”
“/I/ am in fact, very cultured. And you are the poor child, never getting to know the existence of Starry and the Galactic Rats,” Smiley Winky Child sticks her tongue out.
“We forgot to talk about our favorite authors!” Eevee blurts, ignoring SWC's teasing. “Um, um, you go first.”
“Me? I can barely remember the names of the titles of books, much less the authors' names! Eevee!” SWC hisses.
Eevee glances at Smiley Winky Child sideways, “Come on. Fine. Okay, for authors, I can almost never choose favorites, J. R. R. Tolkien is an obsession of mine for now. I've finished up the Hobbit, around halfway done with book two of Fellowship of the Ring, and starting Silmarillion. I've also seen all six of the movies and made sure to watch each of the Rings of Powers episodes when the came out. Personally, Hobbit and Rings of Power aren't as good as-”
“Eevee, you're rambling. Again,” SWC sighs, resting her head in her hands.
“I don't ramble that much, SWC,” Eevee raises her eyebrows, “It was only that one other time…”
Smiley Winky Child shakes her head, “Nope. It may take me a while to remember Cordellina Squinty-Frowny Halo Jr the third on her mother's side and fourth on her father's side, but I cannot declare that you didn't just ramble for 30 minutes yesterday about the importance of noses.”
“Okay, that's not fair!” Eevee whines. “Besides, noses are super duper important. Not that anyone cares.”
“That- That's really not the topic of this podcast,” SWC reminds.
Eevee pauses. “What was the point of this anyways?”
“Introducing ourselves?” Smiley Winky Child shrugs and turns toward the camera. “I am an other worldly being who is supreme and is amazing above all else. You should stan me.”
“Pfft- She's conceited if anyone couldn't tell,” Eevee jokes.
“Hey! I'm not-”
“Yes, you are. Well, I am the sleep manager for starters. I love writing, but that was a guaranteed. Um, I art some of the time! And I read, I love reading and I will talk about my favorite stories all day long. Now before a certain someone,” she gestures to SWC next to her, “access me of rambling, I will end this with a simple sentence. Adventures-in-Odyssey-is-amazing-and-so-is-Kathy-Buchanan. Goodbye.”
11/1/2022
1,003 words (with no hyphens in the sentence)
994 words (with hyphens)
A brunette taps a finger on the mic. “Ahem, is this rolling? Oh it is-” she cringes at the feedback screeching in her ear. “Okay then. Hi hi! This is Smiley Winky Child, abbreviated as SWC and my name came from the esteemed General Aria of the Science Fiction Realm of November 2021. And this is-”
“Eevee!” The girl next to SWC bursts. “Well, most commonly that is; I sure do have a lot of aliases… Let's see. Evelyn, Eve, eeveE, Palindrome, occasionally Millie… Does Ellie, Elle, and Ella count? Oh, and Eva.” She pauses, thinking of any other potential aliases. “Oh, my name came from the Pokémon… Anyways, here's what were doing in this podcast: We're doing the first daily of SWC, but currently neither of us are participating. I am an honorary for Hi-fi, so Hi-fi for the win!”
“Ah well,” Smiley Winky Child laughs, tugging at her hair, “I could never really participate in a session, as I am just a mascot, but if I ever did, it was November of 2021. Wow, that's been a year now…”
“A year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days,” SWC chants.
Eevee nudges SWC, causing her to stop in the middle of ‘8760 hours’. “I have participated in SWC, the camp that is, before and don't plan on abandoning it anytime soon, even if I'm not participating this session. I started in March 2021 and have since attended thrice as a camper and once as a co-leader.”
“I wonder if mascots could become a leader,” SWC asks to no one in particular and nods, “Can you write that down on our list, yep thank you.” She puts up two thumbs to the assistant off camera.
“Onto more important info!” Eevee announces cheerfully.
SWC rolls her eyes, “Or boring, but essential. Just like homework.”
Eevee raises an eyebrow. “Do the Winkys even get homework, being the quote ‘almighty ruling beings over the-’ ”
“Grandma Winky,” SWC counters, without emotion.
“Ah, okay,” Eevee nods, not bothering to question, “My pronoun set is she/her/hers/herself. And SWC's are…”
“She/her. Why do you have to make yours so complicated? There's simply she/her!” Smiley Winky Child comments, shaking her head.
Eevee mutters under her breath, “Shh, the 1k intro goal. The cool kids gang, you know…”
“Whatever,” SWC huffs. She scans the somewhat crumpled piece of paper in her hand. “Mhm. Here's the thing, I never ‘found’ Scratch Writing Camp; I came to be because of it. See, without Candylanguagegirl creating SWC to be a thing and General Aria becoming a leader for Sci-fi in November of 2021, I wouldn't exist. General Aria created Ms. Winky, also known as my mom, and then Dad was created, causing for my little brother to come into existence. Then was there's me, and Grandma and Grandpa Winky.”
Eevee smiles, “For me, I did find SWC, through Alyelle, as I am sure many others have. So, I signed up as backup camper in March 2021 and got in the Horror cabin with some of the best Horrorians ever! Since then, I've fallen in love with SWC-”
“Okay, I know everyone loves me, but…” SWC giggles, lightheartedly.
“SHUSH!” Eevee covers Smiley Winky Child's mouth. “Everyone knows that's not what I meant.”
(please, don't take this seriously :skull: it's a joke and this is one part of me talking to another part of me- but yes self-love <3)
SWC shrugs her shoulders, “You're the a-spec idiot, not me.”
“FANDOMS!” Eevee quickly changes the subject.
“Hm… That's a hard one. I've only read the comic books that Grandma Winky has,” SWC mutters, “She sure does have quite a few…”
Eevee shakes xyr head, “Oh, you poor uncultured child.”
“/I/ am in fact, very cultured. And you are the poor child, never getting to know the existence of Starry and the Galactic Rats,” Smiley Winky Child sticks her tongue out.
“We forgot to talk about our favorite authors!” Eevee blurts, ignoring SWC's teasing. “Um, um, you go first.”
“Me? I can barely remember the names of the titles of books, much less the authors' names! Eevee!” SWC hisses.
Eevee glances at Smiley Winky Child sideways, “Come on. Fine. Okay, for authors, I can almost never choose favorites, J. R. R. Tolkien is an obsession of mine for now. I've finished up the Hobbit, around halfway done with book two of Fellowship of the Ring, and starting Silmarillion. I've also seen all six of the movies and made sure to watch each of the Rings of Powers episodes when the came out. Personally, Hobbit and Rings of Power aren't as good as-”
“Eevee, you're rambling. Again,” SWC sighs, resting her head in her hands.
“I don't ramble that much, SWC,” Eevee raises her eyebrows, “It was only that one other time…”
Smiley Winky Child shakes her head, “Nope. It may take me a while to remember Cordellina Squinty-Frowny Halo Jr the third on her mother's side and fourth on her father's side, but I cannot declare that you didn't just ramble for 30 minutes yesterday about the importance of noses.”
“Okay, that's not fair!” Eevee whines. “Besides, noses are super duper important. Not that anyone cares.”
“That- That's really not the topic of this podcast,” SWC reminds.
Eevee pauses. “What was the point of this anyways?”
“Introducing ourselves?” Smiley Winky Child shrugs and turns toward the camera. “I am an other worldly being who is supreme and is amazing above all else. You should stan me.”
“Pfft- She's conceited if anyone couldn't tell,” Eevee jokes.
“Hey! I'm not-”
“Yes, you are. Well, I am the sleep manager for starters. I love writing, but that was a guaranteed. Um, I art some of the time! And I read, I love reading and I will talk about my favorite stories all day long. Now before a certain someone,” she gestures to SWC next to her, “access me of rambling, I will end this with a simple sentence. Adventures-in-Odyssey-is-amazing-and-so-is-Kathy-Buchanan. Goodbye.”
Last edited by AmazaEevee (May 8, 2025 20:19:43)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Letters from Land and Sky
1/5/2023
1363 words
1)
Hi Azalea,
The political leaders are just getting worse over here. Continually blaming land dwellers, your kind, when they don't even explain what went wrong. They're being uptight about everything. I don't know what's happening or what is going to happen. I hope everything on your side is going more smoothly than here. There is so much chaos ensuing, the future is unpredictable right now.
Your friend,
Elora
(AN: There could be a less abrupt way to start the letters, but I'm not sure. Maybe add some more context in the first to set things up a bit more?)
2)
Dearest Elora,
I'm afraid nothing is better over here. I still see a few of your kind down here, but they won't let me go up, even to shop! The Ancients won't reveal anything, except that we are innocent. Closing our ports probably wasn't the best choice if we are hoping for peace, but I have no say in this matter. Don't worry, Elora. The future is coming, not matter how you feel about it. Keep your spirits high.
Love,
Azalea
3)
Azalea,
I don't have much time. The mind swipe is coming. They're going through Mama right now. Cleaners are rummaging through everything. Enclosed is a notebook about everything. Keep it hidden until next week. Trust no one. Read it and please send it back if you ever want to hear from me again.
Elora
4)
Elora,
This is a letter from a friend. You will likely not remember me, but I sincerely hope this will help you. A secret hatch three clumps right of the windowsill in your bedroom contains a notebook that includes everything you may be confused about. This was the doing of the swipers.
Sending much love,
Azalea
5)
Azalea, my dear friend,
I would be lost without you. Everything on our side has gone upside down. The only ones who weren't swiped were all kids and all the leaders say that it's just a fairytale, knowing who's down below. The adults have followed in their ways. If I were to say anything, who knows what could happen. I don't intend on being silent forever. I am still confused about the whole situation and what went wrong. Oak has been one of my greatest comforts during this time.
With hope,
Lora
(AN: Rewrite the letter + add more details in past letters)
6)
Darling Elora,
I could not believe when I received the letter last night. It's been two weeks, though I don't know when I expected anything to come. The Ancients have forbidden us from talking about those in the clouds. There are a few stranglers left here, but now that the borders are closed I don't know what will become of them. I've been helping them out as much as I can. I'm glad Oak, that old doll, is helping you out. I guess he needed some use and I was right to pass him to you.
Forever your friend,
Azalea
7)
Hey Lea,
I've heard talk of some big plan brewing. I can't tell what it is or if there even is something ‘big’ happening. Adults constantly talking in hushed tones, I don't like it. But there is something happening. Bigger than it seems. Why the mind swipers were sent, I may never know. But someone is going to do a whole lot of talking for everything to get straightened out. Each day is a battle of it's own.
Write back soon,
Elora
8)
Lora,
The clouds are getting darker; have you noticed that? There is something different in the air, though I cannot tell what. Ancients have not been much help with the cloud dwellers. I'm afraid they may be left on their own. It's puzzling, I saw one of your leaders (Casimir, is it?) come down yesterday night. I wasn't supposed to be out, but I wanted to check on the flowers I had planted for your kindred. I cannot say for certain why he's down here, but I do hope it's something good.
Hoping, waiting, wishing…
Azalea
9)
Azalea,
I'm being called- drafted? I'm not quite sure. All females aged 13-16 are being called to the Nimbostratus. Curious age group, the ones who are ready for their glows. It's an odd spot and no parents or guardians are allowed. Not sure when or where; I don't have any answers, but I'll keep myself safe. I've been practicing harder with the fast winds during this storm. Can't say it's the easiest thing to try to manipulate a tempest.
I'll keep you updated,
Elora
(Enclosed are Lilith's Daisy seeds, for those cloud dwellers on land)
(AN: Mention storms earlier)
9)
Dear Elora,
The weather down on land is getting worse. I can't tell for sure of anything happening up above. It's continually been raining, rather odd for this time of year. The Ancients are in a terrible uproar, but I can only make out bits and pieces of what they are talking about. I've been preoccupied helping your fellow kindred, I wish I could do more to help. I've passed some of your seeds out to them; their beaming smiles are heartwarming, especially compared to the loss in their eyes. I do hope you are safe, dearest Elora.
Wishing you well,
Azalea
10)
Lea,
I have to go. Now. Papa's been instructed to take me to a meeting place, whereever that is. I don't know what I'm to be meeting for. He's calling for me.
I'll stay safe,
Elora
11)
Elora,
I hope that you are back home by now. I waited a few days, just in case. I'm fine, there's no reason for you to worry about me. The Ancients are tenser than ever and constantly barking out orders. I've had to delay my visits to the cloud dwellers for far longer than I would like. It seems our borders with the sea dwellers are closing because of this storm. I'm being worked overtime, though no tempest is making anything easier. I am tired of the past few weeks; I need a break.
Everything will be okay,
Azalea
12)
Elora,
I'm wondering if there is something going up above that prevents you from contacting me, if you are getting these letters at all. Sometimes I wish we had a easier way to communicate, though that shouldn't be my first priority right now. I know you can take care of yourself, but stay safe! The clouds aren't looking happy. It's been raining here for days. I'm fine, but what about you?
Time isn't helping my worry,
Azalea
13)
Elora,
The skies are way too dark. Something going on. The winds are unnaturally strong, lightning occurring so frequently, unceasing rain and even the Ancients are ordering a stop in work. Elora, please respond if you are there; I need to know if you are alright.
Azalea
Epilogue?? Azalea POV
The darken skies worry me as I furrow my brows. It's been two weeks, /two weeks/, since I've heard anything from dear Elora. Even if my letters didn't reach her, she would still send them to me. Unless something or someone is intercepting the letters, which in this weather seems doubtable, there is definitely something wrong. I shift my head towards the side window, met by the same eerie clouds, rumbling and dark. The extraordinary lightning strikes and bursts of wind are more than enough to convince me to stay shut up inside, though I detest every moment inside.
The floorboards creak as my feet glide on them, pacing the room once again. There must be something I could do. All I know is that Elora has been called to the Nimbostratus, the most deserted and dangerous in the clouds. There is something going on that none of us down here know of. The nonchalant actions of the Ancients should put me at ease, but there is something unsettling about the now steady creases on each of their foreheads.
The future is changing; we are no closer to peace than a few years ago. It's quite the opposite. All that Elora and I have dreamed of is gone. Not quite hopeless, like the golden edge on the clouds; it's there but you only see it if you truly look for it. It's my choice and I choose hope. I stare at the clouds long enough for it to start losing shape. The dark clouds melts into a gray haze. There's something I must do.
AN:
I love this story and I'm really excited to write more of it. This is also mainly unedited, besides a few details and spelling and grammar mistakes. But for critiques, my main concerns are the voices, pacing, and clarity. (Please critique!! Either on this forum, or on my profile.)
Voices: I haven't fully defined Azalea and Elora's voices and I do know that it shows. I'm not good at keeping a good and consistent character voices, as well as having them distinct. What vibes do each of the characters give off? What parts do you see that are good distinct character voices?
Pacing: I know the pacing is off and can be fixed. I want to have fewer letters, so cutting some is going to have to be inevitable. I purposely made extra. Which letters would be okay with cutting in order for the pacing to be quicker and keep the story essentially the same? What parts feel too rushed and could be slowed down a bit?
Clarity: No one knows the context behind this, besides me. I tried including in as many details as I could without making it seem unnatural. But what are some things that you don't understand at all or are confused with? Because this is a story of two friends in their own world, there isn't any backstory told to give any context to the story, there is a lot I didn't address, some on purpose for cliffhanger and curiosity's sake, but some information could be helpful to the reader, without foreshadowing on the story too much.
Nitpicks: Do the nicknames make sense and don't seem too out of place? Are there some place where you think there could be more added onto or on the other hand have too much? Also for the epilogue, when I'm writing things where it's the character voice, I have a hard time balancing their thoughts to their physical actions and making it flow. Does it sound okay or unnatural?
Also other general critiques or your own opinions are helpful insight as well! <33
1/5/2023
1363 words
1)
Hi Azalea,
The political leaders are just getting worse over here. Continually blaming land dwellers, your kind, when they don't even explain what went wrong. They're being uptight about everything. I don't know what's happening or what is going to happen. I hope everything on your side is going more smoothly than here. There is so much chaos ensuing, the future is unpredictable right now.
Your friend,
Elora
(AN: There could be a less abrupt way to start the letters, but I'm not sure. Maybe add some more context in the first to set things up a bit more?)
2)
Dearest Elora,
I'm afraid nothing is better over here. I still see a few of your kind down here, but they won't let me go up, even to shop! The Ancients won't reveal anything, except that we are innocent. Closing our ports probably wasn't the best choice if we are hoping for peace, but I have no say in this matter. Don't worry, Elora. The future is coming, not matter how you feel about it. Keep your spirits high.
Love,
Azalea
3)
Azalea,
I don't have much time. The mind swipe is coming. They're going through Mama right now. Cleaners are rummaging through everything. Enclosed is a notebook about everything. Keep it hidden until next week. Trust no one. Read it and please send it back if you ever want to hear from me again.
Elora
4)
Elora,
This is a letter from a friend. You will likely not remember me, but I sincerely hope this will help you. A secret hatch three clumps right of the windowsill in your bedroom contains a notebook that includes everything you may be confused about. This was the doing of the swipers.
Sending much love,
Azalea
5)
Azalea, my dear friend,
I would be lost without you. Everything on our side has gone upside down. The only ones who weren't swiped were all kids and all the leaders say that it's just a fairytale, knowing who's down below. The adults have followed in their ways. If I were to say anything, who knows what could happen. I don't intend on being silent forever. I am still confused about the whole situation and what went wrong. Oak has been one of my greatest comforts during this time.
With hope,
Lora
(AN: Rewrite the letter + add more details in past letters)
6)
Darling Elora,
I could not believe when I received the letter last night. It's been two weeks, though I don't know when I expected anything to come. The Ancients have forbidden us from talking about those in the clouds. There are a few stranglers left here, but now that the borders are closed I don't know what will become of them. I've been helping them out as much as I can. I'm glad Oak, that old doll, is helping you out. I guess he needed some use and I was right to pass him to you.
Forever your friend,
Azalea
7)
Hey Lea,
I've heard talk of some big plan brewing. I can't tell what it is or if there even is something ‘big’ happening. Adults constantly talking in hushed tones, I don't like it. But there is something happening. Bigger than it seems. Why the mind swipers were sent, I may never know. But someone is going to do a whole lot of talking for everything to get straightened out. Each day is a battle of it's own.
Write back soon,
Elora
8)
Lora,
The clouds are getting darker; have you noticed that? There is something different in the air, though I cannot tell what. Ancients have not been much help with the cloud dwellers. I'm afraid they may be left on their own. It's puzzling, I saw one of your leaders (Casimir, is it?) come down yesterday night. I wasn't supposed to be out, but I wanted to check on the flowers I had planted for your kindred. I cannot say for certain why he's down here, but I do hope it's something good.
Hoping, waiting, wishing…
Azalea
9)
Azalea,
I'm being called- drafted? I'm not quite sure. All females aged 13-16 are being called to the Nimbostratus. Curious age group, the ones who are ready for their glows. It's an odd spot and no parents or guardians are allowed. Not sure when or where; I don't have any answers, but I'll keep myself safe. I've been practicing harder with the fast winds during this storm. Can't say it's the easiest thing to try to manipulate a tempest.
I'll keep you updated,
Elora
(Enclosed are Lilith's Daisy seeds, for those cloud dwellers on land)
(AN: Mention storms earlier)
9)
Dear Elora,
The weather down on land is getting worse. I can't tell for sure of anything happening up above. It's continually been raining, rather odd for this time of year. The Ancients are in a terrible uproar, but I can only make out bits and pieces of what they are talking about. I've been preoccupied helping your fellow kindred, I wish I could do more to help. I've passed some of your seeds out to them; their beaming smiles are heartwarming, especially compared to the loss in their eyes. I do hope you are safe, dearest Elora.
Wishing you well,
Azalea
10)
Lea,
I have to go. Now. Papa's been instructed to take me to a meeting place, whereever that is. I don't know what I'm to be meeting for. He's calling for me.
I'll stay safe,
Elora
11)
Elora,
I hope that you are back home by now. I waited a few days, just in case. I'm fine, there's no reason for you to worry about me. The Ancients are tenser than ever and constantly barking out orders. I've had to delay my visits to the cloud dwellers for far longer than I would like. It seems our borders with the sea dwellers are closing because of this storm. I'm being worked overtime, though no tempest is making anything easier. I am tired of the past few weeks; I need a break.
Everything will be okay,
Azalea
12)
Elora,
I'm wondering if there is something going up above that prevents you from contacting me, if you are getting these letters at all. Sometimes I wish we had a easier way to communicate, though that shouldn't be my first priority right now. I know you can take care of yourself, but stay safe! The clouds aren't looking happy. It's been raining here for days. I'm fine, but what about you?
Time isn't helping my worry,
Azalea
13)
Elora,
The skies are way too dark. Something going on. The winds are unnaturally strong, lightning occurring so frequently, unceasing rain and even the Ancients are ordering a stop in work. Elora, please respond if you are there; I need to know if you are alright.
Azalea
Epilogue?? Azalea POV
The darken skies worry me as I furrow my brows. It's been two weeks, /two weeks/, since I've heard anything from dear Elora. Even if my letters didn't reach her, she would still send them to me. Unless something or someone is intercepting the letters, which in this weather seems doubtable, there is definitely something wrong. I shift my head towards the side window, met by the same eerie clouds, rumbling and dark. The extraordinary lightning strikes and bursts of wind are more than enough to convince me to stay shut up inside, though I detest every moment inside.
The floorboards creak as my feet glide on them, pacing the room once again. There must be something I could do. All I know is that Elora has been called to the Nimbostratus, the most deserted and dangerous in the clouds. There is something going on that none of us down here know of. The nonchalant actions of the Ancients should put me at ease, but there is something unsettling about the now steady creases on each of their foreheads.
The future is changing; we are no closer to peace than a few years ago. It's quite the opposite. All that Elora and I have dreamed of is gone. Not quite hopeless, like the golden edge on the clouds; it's there but you only see it if you truly look for it. It's my choice and I choose hope. I stare at the clouds long enough for it to start losing shape. The dark clouds melts into a gray haze. There's something I must do.
AN:
I love this story and I'm really excited to write more of it. This is also mainly unedited, besides a few details and spelling and grammar mistakes. But for critiques, my main concerns are the voices, pacing, and clarity. (Please critique!! Either on this forum, or on my profile.)
Voices: I haven't fully defined Azalea and Elora's voices and I do know that it shows. I'm not good at keeping a good and consistent character voices, as well as having them distinct. What vibes do each of the characters give off? What parts do you see that are good distinct character voices?
Pacing: I know the pacing is off and can be fixed. I want to have fewer letters, so cutting some is going to have to be inevitable. I purposely made extra. Which letters would be okay with cutting in order for the pacing to be quicker and keep the story essentially the same? What parts feel too rushed and could be slowed down a bit?
Clarity: No one knows the context behind this, besides me. I tried including in as many details as I could without making it seem unnatural. But what are some things that you don't understand at all or are confused with? Because this is a story of two friends in their own world, there isn't any backstory told to give any context to the story, there is a lot I didn't address, some on purpose for cliffhanger and curiosity's sake, but some information could be helpful to the reader, without foreshadowing on the story too much.
Nitpicks: Do the nicknames make sense and don't seem too out of place? Are there some place where you think there could be more added onto or on the other hand have too much? Also for the epilogue, when I'm writing things where it's the character voice, I have a hard time balancing their thoughts to their physical actions and making it flow. Does it sound okay or unnatural?
Also other general critiques or your own opinions are helpful insight as well! <33
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Jan. 17, 2023 15:59:10)
- Rey_venclaw
-
Scratcher
1000+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
here’s a version where I’ve edited it as I would if I were looking over something I wrote. Changes I made are in bold.
Letters from Land and Sky
1/5/2023
1363 words
1)
Hi Azalea,
The political leaders are just getting worse over here. Continually blaming land dwellers, you’re kind, when they don't even explain what went wrong. They're being uptight about everything. I don't know what's happening or what’s going to happen. I hope everything on your side is going more smoothly than it is here. There is so much chaos ensuing, the future is unpredictable right now.
Your friend,
Elora
(AN: There could be a less abrupt way to start the letters, but I'm not sure. Maybe add some more context in the first to set things up a bit more?) I actually quite like the start of the letters :D
2)
Dearest Elora,
I'm afraid nothing is better over here. I still see a few of your kind down here, but they won't let me go up, even to shop! The Ancients won't reveal anything, except that we are innocent. Closing our ports probably wasn't the best choice if we are hoping for peace, but I have no say in this matter. Don't worry, Elora. The future is coming, not matter how you feel about it. Keep your spirits high!
Love,
Azalea
3)
Azalea,
I don't have much time (I took out a chunk here that seemed out of place with the emotion of this letter). The mind swipe is coming. They're going through Mama right now. Cleaners are rummaging through everything. Enclosed is a notebook about everything. Keep it hidden until next week. Trust no one. Read it and please send it back if you ever want to hear from me again.
Elora
4)
Dear Ms. Elora,
This is a letter from a friend. There is a secret hatch three clumps right of the windowsill in your bedroom. Inside is a notebook that includes everything you may be confused about. I sincerely hope that this will help you, my friend. This was the doing of the swipers.
Sending much love,
Azalea
(AN: I'm feeling kinda icky about this letter… The ending is fine, just the intro feels off somehow. (I don’t understand why Azalea is suddenly addressing Elora formally))
5)
Azalea, my dear friend,
I would be lost without you. Everything on our side has gone upside down. The only ones who weren't swiped are all kids and all the leaders say that it's just a fairytale,what’s just a fairytale? knowing who's down below. The adults have followed in their ways. If I were to say anything, who knows what could happen. I don't intend on being silent forever. I am still confused about the whole situation and what went wrong. Oak has been one of my greatest comforts during this time.
With hope,
Lora (I know you were worried about context, and the lack of it definitely shows in this letter. I don’t understand what any of it means)
6)
Darling Elora,
I could not believe when I received the letter last night. It's been two weeks, though I don't know when I expected anything to come. The Ancients have forbidden us from talking about those in the clouds. (I removed a redundant sentence) There are a few stranglers left here, but now that the borders are closed I don't know what will become of them. I've been helping them out as much as I can. I'm glad Oak, that old doll, is helping you out. I guess he needed some use and I was right to pass him to you.
Forever your friend,
Azalea
7)
Hey Lea,
I’ve heard rumours of some big plan brewing. I cannot tell for certain what it is or if there even is something happening. Adults talking in hushed tones, I don't like it. There's something happening, bigger than it seems. Why the mind swipes were sent, I can't tell. But someone is going to have to do a whole lot of talking for everything to get straightened out. Each day is a battle to get through.
Write back soon,
Elora (this is a wonderful and eloquent letter!!!)
8)
Lora,
The clouds are getting darker; have you noticed that? There is something different in the air, though I cannot tell what. Ancients have not been much help with the cloud dwellers. I'm afraid they may be left on their own. It's puzzling, I saw one of your leaders (Casimir, is it?) come down yesterday night. I wasn't supposed to be out, but I wanted to check on the flowers I had planted for your kindred. I cannot say for certain why he's down here, but I do hope it's something good.
Keeping onto love, (what does that mean?)
Azalea
9)
Azalea,
I'm being called- drafted? I'm not quite sure. All females aged 13-16 are being called to the Nimbostratus. Curious age group, the ones who are ready for their glows. It's an odd spot, and no parents or guardians are allowed. Not sure when or where; I don't have any answers, but I'll keep myself safe. I've been practicing harder with the fast winds during this storm. which storm? the phrasing makes it see, like it was mentioned beforeCan't say it's the easiest thing to try to manipulate a tempest.
I'll keep you updated,
Elora
(Enclosed are Lilith's Daisy seeds, for those cloud dwellers on land)
9)
Dear Elora,
The weather down on land is getting worse. I can't tell for sure of anything happening up above. It has been raining continually, rather odd for this time of year. The Ancients are in a terrible uproar, but I can only make out bits and pieces of what they’re talking about. I've been preoccupied helping your fellow kindred, I wish I could do more to help. I've passed some of your seeds out to them; their beaming smiles are heartwarming, especially (I removed a grammatically incorrect word here) compared to the loss in their eyes. I do hope you are safe, dearest Elora.
Wishing you well,
Azalea
10)
Lea,
I have to go. Now. Papa's been instructed to take me to a meeting place, wherever (removed a space) that is. I don't know what I'm to be meeting for. He's calling for me.
I'll stay safe,
Elora
11)
Elora,
I hope that you are back home by now. I waited a few days, just in case. I'm fine, there's no reason for you to worry about me. The Ancients are more tense than ever and constantly barking out orders. I've had to delay my visits to the cloud dwellers for far longer than I would like. It seems our borders with the sea dwellers are closing because of this storm. I'm being worked overtime, though no tempest is making anything easier. I am tired of the past few weeks; I need a break.
Everything will be okay,
Azalea
12)
Elora,
I'm wondering if there is something going up above that prevents you from contacting me, if you are getting these letters at all. Sometimes I wish we had a easier way to communicate, though that shouldn't be my first priority right now. I know you can take care of yourself, but stay safe! The clouds aren't looking happy. It's been raining here for days. I'm fine, but what about you?
Time isn't helping my worry,
Azalea
13)
Elora,
The skies are way too dark. Something going on. The winds are unnaturally strong, lightning occurring so frequently, unceasing rain and even the Ancients are ordering a stop in work. Elora, please respond if you are there; I need to know if you are alright.
Azalea
Epilogue?? Azalea POV
The darken skies worry me as I furrow my brows. It's been two weeks, /two weeks/, since I've heard anything from dear Elora. Even if my letters didn't reach her, she would still send them to me. Unless something or someone is intercepting the letters, which in this weather seems doubtable, there is definitely something wrong. I shift my head towards the side window, met by the same eerie clouds, rumbling and dark. The extraordinary lightning strikes and bursts of wind are more than enough to convince me to stay shut up inside, though I detest every moment of it.
The floorboards creak as my feet glide along them, pacing the room once again. There must be something I can do. All I know is that Elora has been called to the Nimbostratus, the most deserted and dangerous in the clouds. There’s something going on that none of us down here know of. The nonchalant actions of the Ancients should put me at ease, but there is something unsettling about the now steady creases on each of their foreheads.
The future is changing; we are no closer to peace than a few years ago. It's quite the opposite. All that Elora and I had dreamed of is gone. There is still a sliver of hope, like the golden edge on the clouds; it's there but you only see it if you truly look for it. It's my choice and I choose hope. I stare at the clouds long enough for them to start losing shape. The dark clouds melts into a gray haze. There's something I must do.
AN:
I love this story and I'm really excited to write more of it. This is also mainly unedited, besides a few details and spelling and grammar mistakes. But for critiques, my main concerns are the voices, pacing, and clarity. (Please critique!! Either on this forum, or on my profile.)
Voices: I haven't fully defined Azalea and Elora's voices and I do know that it shows. I'm not good at keeping a good and consistent character voices, as well as having them distinct. What vibes do each of the characters give off? What parts do you see that are good distinct character voices? mainly what I see is hope from azalea and determination from elora. you’re right that they aren’t clearly defined, but you do have great material to work with!
Pacing: I know the pacing is off and can be fixed. I want to only have 10 letters, so cutting some is going to have to be inevitable. I purposely made extra. Which letters would be okay with cutting in order for the pacing to be quicker and keep the story essentially the same? What parts feel too rushed and could be slowed down a bit? I liked the pacing discrepancies because it gave an interesting sense of the tension in the world. I’m not sure which letters could be removed. if you want less you’ll probably have to combine some.
Clarity: No one knows the context behind this, besides me. I tried including in as many details as I could without making it seem unnatural. But what are some things that you don't understand at all or are confused with? Because this is a story of two friends in thier own world, there isn't any backstory told to give any context to the story, there is a lot I didn't address, some on purpose for cliffhanger and curiosity's sake, but some information could be helpful to the reader, without foreshadowing on the story too much. (mainly the information in that letter. you could use a bit more on the swipes, who oak is, and what glows are. but otherwise it seems good!
Nitpicks: Do the nicknames make sense and don't seem too out of place? Are there some place where you think there could be more added onto or on the other hand have too much? Also for the epilogue, when I'm writing things where it's the character voice, I have a hard time balancing their thoughts to their physical actions and making it flow. Does it sound okay or unnatural? the epilogue itself seems fine, but it is a stark change from the previous letters. everything else mentioned here seems fine!
Also other general critiques or your own opinions are helpful insight as well! <33
Last edited by Rey_venclaw (Jan. 14, 2023 16:03:41)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Daily #2
7/2/2023 (Rewritten/edited 7/10/2023)
307 words
Words: @MouseLoverr: Crystal, petrified, soul, hopeless, and trapped
The economy is failing, the world is crumbling, and your social status counts now more than ever. But just because you were born at the top of the ladder, doesn't mean you're justified to look down on us and sneer. (They don't even know how hard it is to try to climb up the social ladder.)
The local law enforcement is a joke. They're all only there for the title and money. What are they supposed to do? Help out the people in need, make sure the citizens are safe, try to stop and put an end to the never-ending rage of crimes. They wouldn't dare blink an eye in the direction of danger; oh no no no no no. (One of the street gangs could do better and heaven knows who needs the money more.)
Where does trying to fill in their big shoes lead me? Oh, I couldn't guess! This crystal chamber. A "cleansing ritual," they say. Yeah, right! An extended hangout with pointy rocks in a tight space is totally going to make me want to agree with the government again. "Hey guys, my time with your special rocks made me realize that I was brainwashed into thinking you were evil. Who could have thought that you guys only have the best intentions for us?" Ignoring the mishaps of the world is the best way to ensure a long lasting country stays stable! Hooray! Goooooo team! All is at peace. (Ha, they wish.)
Well. I'm trapped. In this stubborn, suffocating device that is going to cling onto me for as long as I can. How the government managed to get the best torture devices when they fail at everything else, who knows! I wonder if I'll ever be able to escape.
My body gives up from exhaustion and I blink twice before seeing black.
A/N: Hopefully, this attempt at a distinct character voice succeeded this time. I do think that the sarcasm helped to solidify the big personality and it was a ton of fun to write ^^ The edited version is definitely better than the original, though I did remove a lot of ideas.
Original, if anyone wanted to read ^^
(it doesn't count for points because i wasn't officially in swc yet -backup camper- but i did it for fun)
288 words
The world is falling apart and the ones who can actually afford to get good paying jobs look down on us! Oh, just because your life is so good doesn’t mean that it’s the same for us all.
I’m trying to do what the local law enforcement won’t. Help those in need, make sure people stay safe, try to stop crimes because the police won’t blink an eye in the direction of danger.
Where did all of that lead me? Oh, right! In this chamber. Of what? Crystals?! More like a long, agonizing torture that stops when I give into the government (which will never happen) or result in one less person for them to worry about (which is not going to happen anytime soon).Trapped. In this dark, suffocating device that will never let me free.
I blink twice more before seeing black.
———
Not being able to count the days, I couldn’t care less if this were day 3 or 7.
Is Jacksynn out of school yet? Can he find safe food to eat for the night? Morning?
The soulless creatures did one thing for me: not being able to know what time it is. If I were to count down them in bites until every step of my daily routine were done, I would be a ball of nerves. Petrified for every potential danger Jaxx may encounter throughout his day. I guess I should be thankful that I’m in this place instead of my brother. It could have easily been him, almost was him. And I’ll get out of here.
For him.
As I feel the darkness closing in on me again, the crystals digging deeper into my skin, I open my eyes and see red.
7/2/2023 (Rewritten/edited 7/10/2023)
307 words
Words: @MouseLoverr: Crystal, petrified, soul, hopeless, and trapped
The economy is failing, the world is crumbling, and your social status counts now more than ever. But just because you were born at the top of the ladder, doesn't mean you're justified to look down on us and sneer. (They don't even know how hard it is to try to climb up the social ladder.)
The local law enforcement is a joke. They're all only there for the title and money. What are they supposed to do? Help out the people in need, make sure the citizens are safe, try to stop and put an end to the never-ending rage of crimes. They wouldn't dare blink an eye in the direction of danger; oh no no no no no. (One of the street gangs could do better and heaven knows who needs the money more.)
Where does trying to fill in their big shoes lead me? Oh, I couldn't guess! This crystal chamber. A "cleansing ritual," they say. Yeah, right! An extended hangout with pointy rocks in a tight space is totally going to make me want to agree with the government again. "Hey guys, my time with your special rocks made me realize that I was brainwashed into thinking you were evil. Who could have thought that you guys only have the best intentions for us?" Ignoring the mishaps of the world is the best way to ensure a long lasting country stays stable! Hooray! Goooooo team! All is at peace. (Ha, they wish.)
Well. I'm trapped. In this stubborn, suffocating device that is going to cling onto me for as long as I can. How the government managed to get the best torture devices when they fail at everything else, who knows! I wonder if I'll ever be able to escape.
My body gives up from exhaustion and I blink twice before seeing black.
A/N: Hopefully, this attempt at a distinct character voice succeeded this time. I do think that the sarcasm helped to solidify the big personality and it was a ton of fun to write ^^ The edited version is definitely better than the original, though I did remove a lot of ideas.
Original, if anyone wanted to read ^^
(it doesn't count for points because i wasn't officially in swc yet -backup camper- but i did it for fun)
288 words
The world is falling apart and the ones who can actually afford to get good paying jobs look down on us! Oh, just because your life is so good doesn’t mean that it’s the same for us all.
I’m trying to do what the local law enforcement won’t. Help those in need, make sure people stay safe, try to stop crimes because the police won’t blink an eye in the direction of danger.
Where did all of that lead me? Oh, right! In this chamber. Of what? Crystals?! More like a long, agonizing torture that stops when I give into the government (which will never happen) or result in one less person for them to worry about (which is not going to happen anytime soon).Trapped. In this dark, suffocating device that will never let me free.
I blink twice more before seeing black.
———
Not being able to count the days, I couldn’t care less if this were day 3 or 7.
Is Jacksynn out of school yet? Can he find safe food to eat for the night? Morning?
The soulless creatures did one thing for me: not being able to know what time it is. If I were to count down them in bites until every step of my daily routine were done, I would be a ball of nerves. Petrified for every potential danger Jaxx may encounter throughout his day. I guess I should be thankful that I’m in this place instead of my brother. It could have easily been him, almost was him. And I’ll get out of here.
For him.
As I feel the darkness closing in on me again, the crystals digging deeper into my skin, I open my eyes and see red.
Last edited by AmazaEevee (July 10, 2023 14:45:34)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Weekly #4
7/29-31/2023
2426 words
1:
51 words
Based on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
The lights off, heads up
Sky’s getting dark
Red curtains
About to open
Take a look at center stage
Watch the story begin again
Twinkle twinkle little star
Life looks so great from afar
You’re up there above the world
Burning brighter every night
Gosh, I’ve known my place so far
2:
25 words
Repeating word: Spotlight
You grew up in the spotlight
Must be so nice
And always in the spotlight
Every night
Everywhere I look
The spotlight is following you
3:
50 words
Break a leg
Go on ahead
You thought I would just
Forget
All that you’ve done
Thought that I would
Live on
In misery and pain
Well
Guess what
I’m stuck here
In shambles
So I guess I should say
Go on and
Break a leg
I don’t care
Anymore
4:
72 words
I chose How You Remind Me
The stars used to remind me and
Those words would call me back
Call me back
Your name reminded me
The times we spent
Under the stars
In the night sky
When I was a star next to you
Flying so high
The calm before the storm
But now
The stars remind me
Of the time
I spent
Trying so hard to climb
The ladder that was never mine
So I say
5:
57 words
Break a leg
I dare you
You thought I would just
Forget
You’re my poison Ivy
Thought that you were the
Starlight
Coming right on time
Well
Guess what
I’m stuck here
Wrecked from your storm
So I guess I should say
Come on and
Break a leg
I dare you
Go on
The forest is clear
Distant Past Prompt
510 words
TW: Some darker topics, diluted v!olence, implied unalive MC…
This is a canon divergence for TEC and the only thing of TEC writing that I’ve posted on Scratch-
The noise of chaos rings in her ears. Sound of fighting, yelling, and contact overloading her senses. She can’t think; she can’t breathe. Nelly attempts a deep breath, only to double over coughing when the dust and dirt got to her. She has to- open her eyes!
Nelly forces her eyes open and glances around looking at her friends and enemies, all in action. Malkia, Elora, Elle, Shelly… Where’s Shelly? She frantically looks around, trying to spot her look alike.
A scream rips out of her. “SHELLY!” Nelly sobs, watching her twin standing still.
She scrambles into her feet, moving as quickly as she could with her limp. Nelly grabs her sister’s shoulders and shakes her.
“Shelly, where are you? Come back!” she pleads, staring at Shelly’s unfocused eyes.
“Somewhere far away,” a familiar voice chirps, “I promise.”
Nelly glares at the speaker, a blonde in pigtails, -was her name Hanna?- and gives a low growl. “What did you do to my sister?”
“I didn’t do any- Ack!” Hannah seethes, gripping her head with both hands.
Nelly’s compassion wavers, but she keeps her expression focused and stilled, fueled by her anger.
“Nelly. Step away,” Shelly’s cold, emotionless voice demands.
She shakes her head. “No. Shelly, I’m staying with you.”
Shelly’s face seems to twist, but quickly relapses into the still expression.
Nelly stares at her sister, taking a deep breath. “Sereia! Wake up! Snap out of it!” Her efforts show no responce in the stone cold face.
“No, I won’t let you- Father!” Hannah's voice sounds distant before her expression twists into relief and victory.
“Finally!” she proclaims. Hanna’s voice is speaking, but the tone and articulation seem… off. “She’s too talented for her own good. Not more than myself, though.”
“Who are you?” Nelly demands, confused at the current situation.
“Who am I?” The voice huffs, rolling her eyes. “You will know soon enough once I am through with you all.”
Nelly gets up and starts running. She can't think. She can't breathe. Her legs ache, and cry out, but she keeps on moving. She can't stop. Not now.
Her legs still against her will. She tries to move forward, but they stay still.
A voice whispers in her head, “Danielle~ Come back~”
As much as she resists the temptation to move, she finds herself walking backwards back to the body of Hanna.
Though her lips are moving, Hanna's face is horrified. “You will do as I say or pay the price.”
“No, no, no!” Hanna screams, crumpling to the ground. “I won't let you! Get out of my head.”
While Hanna screams, Nelly feels a freedom in her limbs. She scrambles away, but is stopped.
Hanna's face shows no remorse as she carefully articulates her next words. “You will help me or so be it.”
“Never!” Nelly spits.
“Oh well. Then, this will be my final goodbye to you,” Hannah's hand gives a little wave.
Nelly feels her legs being dragged backwards. Back… towards the cliff! But her body wouldn't budge. She closed her eyes.
And saw black.
Ancient Times Prompt
400 words
The four deities of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water ruled and watched over the lands together. They existed in harmony before time itself. They lived happily, watching over the lands, creating great caverns, oceans, volcanoes, mists. They performed great works and loved their creation.
But there was no one to appreciate their works other than the animals that live there.
They eventually created different species to live on their dominion, each making one representing themself.
Land dwellers were made for Earth. With rich skin tones and a larger build, they were built for working the terrain. Most took on roles as hunters or farmers. They have pointy ears to keep them alert in the forested areas of what they call home.
Cloud dwellers lived in the sky, formed by Air. They need very little to survive. Each of them has the potential to unlock an ability. Some are elemental, ex: manipulating water, while others could be physical, ex: gaining moth-like qualities, and even some with mental abilities, ex: mind control. They are all immune to strong electrical surges and are more nimble.
Cave dwellers live deep underground near lava springs. They are a short, but tough species. They are hard workers, mining and crafting. Due to the nature of their environment, they can withstand extreme heats.
The waters are home to the sea dwellers. Some are born with tails instead of legs, causing a hierarchy around those with tails. Their black eyes and colored irises provide them a different view of the world. They have kingdoms and the most established government. They have a trouble adapting to the surface.
The four deities got their species to coexist, but with any, problems began to arise. Land dwellers were proud and haughty. Cloud dwellers didn’t understand the need for different materials and often skipped out in trades. Cave dwellers only made the trek up to the surface when needed, causing a gap in the relations between the other species. Sea dwellers found a lack of structure and stability in the others.
Earth, Air, Fire, Water. The four, once one, were split. All sided with their own species, biased in their choosing. With no neutral mediator to guide them all, there was no easy way to deescalate the situation. Debates quickly grew heated into arguments with raised voices.
In the years that lay ahead, war was evident to happen.
And so, it began…
Current Day prompts
500 words
It’s an SWC fanfic of an SWC fanfic from the POV of a cow :33 (I love Cheese Jr so much <33)
It’s July 2023. I glance around SWC Island. It’s been a while since we’ve come to the main grounds. We’ve been on the run, mostly taking trails in the lush forest- oooh! Is that food?
My nose leads me to a cabin smelling heavily of mangoes. That must be all of the yellow gunk on it. I give an experimental lick and confirm that the yellow gunk is, in fact mango. Looping around the cabin, I dart my younger to clean up as much of the mango as I can. There’s no use in letting precious food go to waste.
“Cheese Jr, get back over here!” A sharp whisper halts me.
Mistress must have noticed I was gone. I trot over to her anyways, I always do, but not before slurping up one last piece of squashed mango.
Once within arms reach of my lady. I was immediately covered with a dark cape.
“Junior, we’re still fugitives,” Mistress explains, tying a string across my neck. “We have to stay undercover because if the evil hosties find out, we’re all. Erkkk!” she makes an exasperated motion of running a finger across her neck.
I grunt in feigned acknowledgement and she grins.
“We’re going in disguise. Just like Batman and Robin!” she winks. “I’ll be Mysteria and you will be my trusty sidekick-”
Ella interrupts her montage. “Cheese, we agreed. No code names!”
Mistress huffs, but sends me another conspiratorial wink.
“Ugh, I knew we should have come earlier when it was all hosts that didn’t know who we were. Now Alba’s back on the host team!” Paige grumbles, kicking a rock.
Eevee hums in agreement as I clop over to her. “Somehow, Cara’s joined hands with the host that burned our cabin down. Though it wouldn’t have been smarter to deny them…”
“Who knows what her intentions are? She may have been blackmailed or planning a takeover from the inside,” Ara suggests, “We shouldn’t interfere. Besides, we’re just stopping by for supplies and information. Nothing more.”
Eevee slides a piece of dried mango. “Please no terrorizing the campers and I promise I’ll give you more once we’re out of here,” she whispers.
I take it hungrily and moo in agreement.
We walk around and the girls talk to people, asking about… stuff. I didn’t pay much attention to their conversations. I was ordered to follow them and look cute, so I did.
Eevee occasionally gives me a chunk of dried fruit and I stick to her and Mistress.
As we catch more attention, a group of 5 kids and a cow in capes, it’s decided that Ara should morph into one of her cat forms. She goes for her ginger cat. I think they felt safer having fire elemental handy over the others.
The sky grows dark and we head back into our shelter.
Once settled, Paige speaks up. “Mission success. I know when we’ll strike. We won’t fail this time.”
“We’ve got a lot of planning to do,” Ara orders.
Distant future prompts
499 words
You've been walking through the streets of GalaxSWC.
The door opens with a ring from a bell above the door, but a mini fanfare plays as well. You walk over to the counter, where a friendly face greets you.
“Welcome to Real-Fi Restaurant!” the girl -her nametag reads Emmy- in space buns chirps. “What can I get for you?”
“Uh- What would you recommend?” you ask, unfamiliar with the restaurant.
Emmy chuckles. “It can be a bit overwhelming. In honor of our new location we've made a GalaxSWC bun! Natural colorings for the galaxy colors, this scrumptious mango cream filling with chunks inside, and layered crust. It's to die for!” she squeals. She taps a finger on her chin, thinking of what to say next. “Oh! I believe they're being distributed across the galaxy so that the guitar playing population increases. We added in pure refined guitar which helps in making it. There are some gold flame flecks added for flavor and extra flammability!”
Emmy must have seen your twisted facial expression because she bursts out laughing. “Don't worry, it's perfectly safe! For you and the bun. It can turn into a giant bun on fire, but doesn't affect the bun at all! The owners really wanted to add something related to goats to the bun, so we added in some goat milk instead of the usual cow. It gives a extra touch that completes the whole taste.”
“I'll take one of those,” you say, handing over a couple of gold coins.
Her face lights up. “Right away!”
Emmy rushes off, yelling the order and skips back. “It shouldn't be too long. We have a couple that just need to be heated up. Surprisingly, we haven't had too many customers today.”
“Really?” You ask, surprised. “I thought the giant sign outside would draw a crowd.”
She gives a half-hearted chuckle. “There aren't too many who have been on GalaxSWC recently. Most of them are off for the SWC Era tour instead.” A chime rings and she waves it away. “Your bun is ready. Let me go get that for you!”
Emmy returns and presents the bun with a flourish of her hands.
“Looks good; thanks Emmy!” You smile, taking it from her. You walk over to a booth with a window, sliding into the seat.
The crispy bun was warm with a few glowing spots from what you suspected was the gold fire flakes. The purple-blue ombre that colored the bun was a right color that looked appetizing. You take a bite, relishing in the satisfying crunch that came with the layered crust. The mango cream oozes out onto your fingers and you have to put the bun down to get a napkin. This has got to be the best bun in all of the galaxy.
The End Prompt
265 words
The world turns black. My head… Ugh.
I reach an arm up, clasping it above my temple. My head aches and the world seems to be moving, though I’m laying still. I force myself to get up and pry my eyes open
So it was just a dream, wasn’t it. I should have known.
Voices from my dream swirl through the air.
“Let's go! To the Arc of Mour!”
“Come on! We have to get there before Allen does. We can't let him beat us again!”
“We love you. Don't ever forget that.”
My headache starts to dissipate and I feel my thoughts clearing, though voices from the dream still linger. I can’t recall how long I’ve been asleep. Or when I was last awake in the world. It feels like I was in that dream for so long…
So.
It was all a dream.
That wonderful life I had with my imaginary friends and the fields. The picnic and the frolicking.
It felt so real. The voices, the vibrant colors, dancing in the sunset rays.
But if I try to remember how it felt; I wouldn't be able to recognize the shape of Allen's hand unless I were told. The voice of Amy seems so distant. The Arc of Mour is a blur in my memory.
I do remember, however, my feelings. A place where I could be truly me. Laughing with them and the lightness of my heart. That's what truly matters, I suppose. Not how they look or the voices. The memories.
I will cherish them.
Until the end of my days.
7/29-31/2023
2426 words
1:
Your time machine is powered by music; if you want to get anywhere, you’d better sing it a song!
‘London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down…”
Take a popular nursery rhyme and twist the concept to write the first verse of your song. Your first verse should be at least 50 words long, and consist of at least four lines.
51 words
Based on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
The lights off, heads up
Sky’s getting dark
Red curtains
About to open
Take a look at center stage
Watch the story begin again
Twinkle twinkle little star
Life looks so great from afar
You’re up there above the world
Burning brighter every night
Gosh, I’ve known my place so far
2:
Off we go again…
Repetition is used commonly in lyrics; write a prechorus for your song which repeats a phrase or line at least three times. This prechorus should be at least 25 words long, and consist of at least two lines!
25 words
Repeating word: Spotlight
You grew up in the spotlight
Must be so nice
And always in the spotlight
Every night
Everywhere I look
The spotlight is following you
3:
Your time machine eagerly awaits the next melody.
“My white lies pushing up daisies…”
Pick an idiom around which to base your chorus. Make it catchy! Your chorus should be at least 50 words long, and consist of at least four lines.
50 words
Break a leg
Go on ahead
You thought I would just
Forget
All that you’ve done
Thought that I would
Live on
In misery and pain
Well
Guess what
I’m stuck here
In shambles
So I guess I should say
Go on and
Break a leg
I don’t care
Anymore
4:
Where to next?
Google a list of the most famous songs and find a title you haven’t heard of; without listening or reading the lyrics, write a bridge based off this title. Your bridge should be at least 60 words long, and consist of at least four lines.
72 words
I chose How You Remind Me
The stars used to remind me and
Those words would call me back
Call me back
Your name reminded me
The times we spent
Under the stars
In the night sky
When I was a star next to you
Flying so high
The calm before the storm
But now
The stars remind me
Of the time
I spent
Trying so hard to climb
The ladder that was never mine
So I say
5:
Your time machine is thankful it got to sing through space with you.
Your song is coming to an end, so it’s time to repeat the chorus – except this time, change up the wording! Introduce some nature imagery into your chorus, which should remain at least 50 words long, in at least four lines.
57 words
Break a leg
I dare you
You thought I would just
Forget
You’re my poison Ivy
Thought that you were the
Starlight
Coming right on time
Well
Guess what
I’m stuck here
Wrecked from your storm
So I guess I should say
Come on and
Break a leg
I dare you
Go on
The forest is clear
Distant Past Prompt
Write a tragic ending for your most beloved original character in 500 words. Don’t worry, you don’t have to make it canon!
510 words
TW: Some darker topics, diluted v!olence, implied unalive MC…
This is a canon divergence for TEC and the only thing of TEC writing that I’ve posted on Scratch-
The noise of chaos rings in her ears. Sound of fighting, yelling, and contact overloading her senses. She can’t think; she can’t breathe. Nelly attempts a deep breath, only to double over coughing when the dust and dirt got to her. She has to- open her eyes!
Nelly forces her eyes open and glances around looking at her friends and enemies, all in action. Malkia, Elora, Elle, Shelly… Where’s Shelly? She frantically looks around, trying to spot her look alike.
A scream rips out of her. “SHELLY!” Nelly sobs, watching her twin standing still.
She scrambles into her feet, moving as quickly as she could with her limp. Nelly grabs her sister’s shoulders and shakes her.
“Shelly, where are you? Come back!” she pleads, staring at Shelly’s unfocused eyes.
“Somewhere far away,” a familiar voice chirps, “I promise.”
Nelly glares at the speaker, a blonde in pigtails, -was her name Hanna?- and gives a low growl. “What did you do to my sister?”
“I didn’t do any- Ack!” Hannah seethes, gripping her head with both hands.
Nelly’s compassion wavers, but she keeps her expression focused and stilled, fueled by her anger.
“Nelly. Step away,” Shelly’s cold, emotionless voice demands.
She shakes her head. “No. Shelly, I’m staying with you.”
Shelly’s face seems to twist, but quickly relapses into the still expression.
Nelly stares at her sister, taking a deep breath. “Sereia! Wake up! Snap out of it!” Her efforts show no responce in the stone cold face.
“No, I won’t let you- Father!” Hannah's voice sounds distant before her expression twists into relief and victory.
“Finally!” she proclaims. Hanna’s voice is speaking, but the tone and articulation seem… off. “She’s too talented for her own good. Not more than myself, though.”
“Who are you?” Nelly demands, confused at the current situation.
“Who am I?” The voice huffs, rolling her eyes. “You will know soon enough once I am through with you all.”
Nelly gets up and starts running. She can't think. She can't breathe. Her legs ache, and cry out, but she keeps on moving. She can't stop. Not now.
Her legs still against her will. She tries to move forward, but they stay still.
A voice whispers in her head, “Danielle~ Come back~”
As much as she resists the temptation to move, she finds herself walking backwards back to the body of Hanna.
Though her lips are moving, Hanna's face is horrified. “You will do as I say or pay the price.”
“No, no, no!” Hanna screams, crumpling to the ground. “I won't let you! Get out of my head.”
While Hanna screams, Nelly feels a freedom in her limbs. She scrambles away, but is stopped.
Hanna's face shows no remorse as she carefully articulates her next words. “You will help me or so be it.”
“Never!” Nelly spits.
“Oh well. Then, this will be my final goodbye to you,” Hannah's hand gives a little wave.
Nelly feels her legs being dragged backwards. Back… towards the cliff! But her body wouldn't budge. She closed her eyes.
And saw black.
Ancient Times Prompt
Many ancient civilisations had their unique ways of life; select an aspect of worldbuilding (animals, languages, buildings, etc) and flesh out the lore of it. Feel free to base this off the Ancient Times aesthetic, or off a story for which you’ve already worked on worldbuilding! You should write 400 words towards this activity.
400 words
The four deities of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water ruled and watched over the lands together. They existed in harmony before time itself. They lived happily, watching over the lands, creating great caverns, oceans, volcanoes, mists. They performed great works and loved their creation.
But there was no one to appreciate their works other than the animals that live there.
They eventually created different species to live on their dominion, each making one representing themself.
Land dwellers were made for Earth. With rich skin tones and a larger build, they were built for working the terrain. Most took on roles as hunters or farmers. They have pointy ears to keep them alert in the forested areas of what they call home.
Cloud dwellers lived in the sky, formed by Air. They need very little to survive. Each of them has the potential to unlock an ability. Some are elemental, ex: manipulating water, while others could be physical, ex: gaining moth-like qualities, and even some with mental abilities, ex: mind control. They are all immune to strong electrical surges and are more nimble.
Cave dwellers live deep underground near lava springs. They are a short, but tough species. They are hard workers, mining and crafting. Due to the nature of their environment, they can withstand extreme heats.
The waters are home to the sea dwellers. Some are born with tails instead of legs, causing a hierarchy around those with tails. Their black eyes and colored irises provide them a different view of the world. They have kingdoms and the most established government. They have a trouble adapting to the surface.
The four deities got their species to coexist, but with any, problems began to arise. Land dwellers were proud and haughty. Cloud dwellers didn’t understand the need for different materials and often skipped out in trades. Cave dwellers only made the trek up to the surface when needed, causing a gap in the relations between the other species. Sea dwellers found a lack of structure and stability in the others.
Earth, Air, Fire, Water. The four, once one, were split. All sided with their own species, biased in their choosing. With no neutral mediator to guide them all, there was no easy way to deescalate the situation. Debates quickly grew heated into arguments with raised voices.
In the years that lay ahead, war was evident to happen.
And so, it began…
Current Day prompts
SWC fanfiction time! Write 500 words of SWC fanfic about the events of the current session – be that the drama of cabin wars, the events of your cabin storyline, or just about the dynamics between your campers and co-leaders. You could even write about the daily team! ;D
500 words
It’s an SWC fanfic of an SWC fanfic from the POV of a cow :33 (I love Cheese Jr so much <33)
It’s July 2023. I glance around SWC Island. It’s been a while since we’ve come to the main grounds. We’ve been on the run, mostly taking trails in the lush forest- oooh! Is that food?
My nose leads me to a cabin smelling heavily of mangoes. That must be all of the yellow gunk on it. I give an experimental lick and confirm that the yellow gunk is, in fact mango. Looping around the cabin, I dart my younger to clean up as much of the mango as I can. There’s no use in letting precious food go to waste.
“Cheese Jr, get back over here!” A sharp whisper halts me.
Mistress must have noticed I was gone. I trot over to her anyways, I always do, but not before slurping up one last piece of squashed mango.
Once within arms reach of my lady. I was immediately covered with a dark cape.
“Junior, we’re still fugitives,” Mistress explains, tying a string across my neck. “We have to stay undercover because if the evil hosties find out, we’re all. Erkkk!” she makes an exasperated motion of running a finger across her neck.
I grunt in feigned acknowledgement and she grins.
“We’re going in disguise. Just like Batman and Robin!” she winks. “I’ll be Mysteria and you will be my trusty sidekick-”
Ella interrupts her montage. “Cheese, we agreed. No code names!”
Mistress huffs, but sends me another conspiratorial wink.
“Ugh, I knew we should have come earlier when it was all hosts that didn’t know who we were. Now Alba’s back on the host team!” Paige grumbles, kicking a rock.
Eevee hums in agreement as I clop over to her. “Somehow, Cara’s joined hands with the host that burned our cabin down. Though it wouldn’t have been smarter to deny them…”
“Who knows what her intentions are? She may have been blackmailed or planning a takeover from the inside,” Ara suggests, “We shouldn’t interfere. Besides, we’re just stopping by for supplies and information. Nothing more.”
Eevee slides a piece of dried mango. “Please no terrorizing the campers and I promise I’ll give you more once we’re out of here,” she whispers.
I take it hungrily and moo in agreement.
We walk around and the girls talk to people, asking about… stuff. I didn’t pay much attention to their conversations. I was ordered to follow them and look cute, so I did.
Eevee occasionally gives me a chunk of dried fruit and I stick to her and Mistress.
As we catch more attention, a group of 5 kids and a cow in capes, it’s decided that Ara should morph into one of her cat forms. She goes for her ginger cat. I think they felt safer having fire elemental handy over the others.
The sky grows dark and we head back into our shelter.
Once settled, Paige speaks up. “Mission success. I know when we’ll strike. We won’t fail this time.”
“We’ve got a lot of planning to do,” Ara orders.
Distant future prompts
The future is full of new culinary possibilities! Write 400 words on the food you might find at a diner in the distant future of the Galaxswc.
499 words
You've been walking through the streets of GalaxSWC.
The bright sign catches your eyes. Right on cue, your stomach grumbles. A sweet aroma fills your senses and you decide to walk in.Real-Fi Restaurant:
Now Open for Business!
The door opens with a ring from a bell above the door, but a mini fanfare plays as well. You walk over to the counter, where a friendly face greets you.
“Welcome to Real-Fi Restaurant!” the girl -her nametag reads Emmy- in space buns chirps. “What can I get for you?”
“Uh- What would you recommend?” you ask, unfamiliar with the restaurant.
Emmy chuckles. “It can be a bit overwhelming. In honor of our new location we've made a GalaxSWC bun! Natural colorings for the galaxy colors, this scrumptious mango cream filling with chunks inside, and layered crust. It's to die for!” she squeals. She taps a finger on her chin, thinking of what to say next. “Oh! I believe they're being distributed across the galaxy so that the guitar playing population increases. We added in pure refined guitar which helps in making it. There are some gold flame flecks added for flavor and extra flammability!”
Emmy must have seen your twisted facial expression because she bursts out laughing. “Don't worry, it's perfectly safe! For you and the bun. It can turn into a giant bun on fire, but doesn't affect the bun at all! The owners really wanted to add something related to goats to the bun, so we added in some goat milk instead of the usual cow. It gives a extra touch that completes the whole taste.”
“I'll take one of those,” you say, handing over a couple of gold coins.
Her face lights up. “Right away!”
Emmy rushes off, yelling the order and skips back. “It shouldn't be too long. We have a couple that just need to be heated up. Surprisingly, we haven't had too many customers today.”
“Really?” You ask, surprised. “I thought the giant sign outside would draw a crowd.”
She gives a half-hearted chuckle. “There aren't too many who have been on GalaxSWC recently. Most of them are off for the SWC Era tour instead.” A chime rings and she waves it away. “Your bun is ready. Let me go get that for you!”
Emmy returns and presents the bun with a flourish of her hands.
“Looks good; thanks Emmy!” You smile, taking it from her. You walk over to a booth with a window, sliding into the seat.
The crispy bun was warm with a few glowing spots from what you suspected was the gold fire flakes. The purple-blue ombre that colored the bun was a right color that looked appetizing. You take a bite, relishing in the satisfying crunch that came with the layered crust. The mango cream oozes out onto your fingers and you have to put the bun down to get a napkin. This has got to be the best bun in all of the galaxy.
The End Prompt
Write a 250-word narrative where you woke up, and it was all a dream.
265 words
The world turns black. My head… Ugh.
I reach an arm up, clasping it above my temple. My head aches and the world seems to be moving, though I’m laying still. I force myself to get up and pry my eyes open
So it was just a dream, wasn’t it. I should have known.
Voices from my dream swirl through the air.
“Let's go! To the Arc of Mour!”
“Come on! We have to get there before Allen does. We can't let him beat us again!”
“We love you. Don't ever forget that.”
My headache starts to dissipate and I feel my thoughts clearing, though voices from the dream still linger. I can’t recall how long I’ve been asleep. Or when I was last awake in the world. It feels like I was in that dream for so long…
So.
It was all a dream.
That wonderful life I had with my imaginary friends and the fields. The picnic and the frolicking.
It felt so real. The voices, the vibrant colors, dancing in the sunset rays.
But if I try to remember how it felt; I wouldn't be able to recognize the shape of Allen's hand unless I were told. The voice of Amy seems so distant. The Arc of Mour is a blur in my memory.
I do remember, however, my feelings. A place where I could be truly me. Laughing with them and the lightness of my heart. That's what truly matters, I suppose. Not how they look or the voices. The memories.
I will cherish them.
Until the end of my days.
Last edited by AmazaEevee (July 31, 2023 23:58:37)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
References in my SWC Toddler Fic
7/14/2023
174 words (excluding the quotes)
7/14/2023
174 words (excluding the quotes)
“Bye, Birdi!”Self explanatory! Birdi was the last host that stepped down.
the family owned business going on 19 yearsThis is the 19th session of SWC!
Aunt Candy wanted to teach writing, so they set up a writing platform.@Candylanguagegirl was the one who started SWC.
Aunt Icy'sIcy is another SWC gHost.
Finn's voiceI was trying to think of a name and for some reason, Fenn's seems to pop up when I'm trying to think of character names, so I just changed the vowel lol-
Scratch Headquarters only has 15 large rooms.A little nod at how SWC had 15 cabins for a while (along with using what Google Translate gave me)
I hear that he's caved and going to be adding 6 more rooms soon. I think construction is scheduled for the summer.Another nod at how there are 6 more cabins this summer session. (For the Northern Hemisphere, at least.)
humming along to the Taylor Swift songs playing in the background.Lots of Swifties in the SWC crowd lol-
“Those-” She glares at who I'm pointing at. "-are the older girls and they get to do grown up things,"Cara and Alba, I believe, are the two non-minors within the SWC group (or at least the only big name ones, I believe.)
I spin to see two guilty toddlers staring sheepishly at the ground, both holding a clarinet in their hands.Robin and Katie, the clarinetists <33
Small pumpkin, jar of honey, and toy fishGoogle Translate made Bakie, Honey, and Kat a pumpkin, honey, and fish, respectively. Added it in for funsies!
I really really love lasagna and I love playing the pianoBoth facts which are true to the actual Zaine!
I desperately hope that it's not lasagna that I see him reaching for.Because Zaine would have lasagna on him at all times <3
Last edited by AmazaEevee (July 14, 2023 23:09:48)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Letters from Land and Sky (Rewrite)
1/8/2024
1389 words
1)
Azalea,
The council is deteriorating, continually blaming the land dwellers, but they aren't even telling us what is going on! It's like they're trying to prove a point, but they don't have any evidence. Actually, that’s exactly what they are doing. There is so much chaos over here, with the sudden closure of borders. I hope things are better on your side, Lea.
Elora
2)
Dearest Elora,
I'm sorry to inform you that it is the same on land as it is in the clouds. I see some of your kind down here, and I'm sure it's the same up there. The Ancients won't tell us much, other than it's not our problem to deal with. But this is our problem, and we should try to solve it together. I don't know how much help I can be with what little information we have, but a few of us are going to gather more materials to help out the cloud dwellers. Keep your spirits high; this is not the end.
Love,
Azalea
3)
Lea,
More information has been released about why the sudden lockdown ensued. Yes, some land dwellers are here, but their numbers are decreasing. I hope they are being sent back to their home; there are a few moving through the borders. There have been rumors about an ‘unfortunate’ match. It seems that a cloud and land dweller have run off together. We've discussed the stigma surrounding this before, but I still don't understand why it's causing such an uproar. I understand that this is a bigger social issue than just me and my opinions, but I can't stay silent forever, if this is the result! How is this helping anyone?
Write back soon,
Elora
4)
Darling Elora,
It seems that we have only learned the same information, with few details I have to share. I have also heard news of a couple. The Ancients are guarded about making any announcements, though they did mention that we have no need to worry and that everything will be resolved. I think that they are just worried about making us worry. I have a suspicion that The Ancients have more information than they are letting on, but it's so hard to discern what and why things are happening right now.
Hoping, waiting, wishing…
Azalea
5)
Hey Lea,
The security is getting crazy here; I'm not sure how quickly I'll be able to write anymore. The news is finally out, a High Chief's council member, who is also Captain’s son, Casmir, is part of the couple in question. They say that he's run away, bewitched by a lowly land dweller girl. I guess it makes more sense why it's such a big deal, but is it really worth cutting off access to land? Casmir's always been for the alliance between the nations, and we've made so much progress just to have it stripped away within days. There is something else going on here. You already know I'm going to find out whatever I can. But someone is going to have to do a whole lot of talking for everything to get straightened out.
Love,
Elora
6)
Elora,
The skies are getting darker down here… have the elementalists been called? This is unusual. Then again, nothing has been normal in a while. It's a good idea to wait longer to send letters, for you must not get caught. You make sure that you stay safe up there. Casmir is part of a few councilmen, who have frequently helped us out. I'm not sure what your leaders think, but I don't think that they would have expected him to break traditional rules. It must be harder on him too, since his father is the Captain. I still don't understand the stigma your kind has against such marriages. Then again, I don't understand much of your culture, but it shouldn’t cause such a distress.
Things down here haven't changed much, which is better than things getting worse. I feel like a change is coming soon. The journey is just starting.
Your friend,
Azalea
7)
Azalea,
I'm so sorry that this letter has been delayed so long. There has been so much going on around here. So many people have turned their backs on land dwellers. It's absurd what an official statement can do to change the minds of so many. When discussing the political states of land and sky, Mama and Papa insist on speaking in hushed tones. I get that they are scared, but I do it for them. Only them. There has been news, though no one bothers to tell me. Either that or they are purposely not telling me. I just hear whispering and murmurs of some great plan.
The winds have picked up here as well. I did hear that the weather team was sent out, but nothing has been out of ordinary on that until now. Papa and I have been using this as a chance for me to practice my wind manipulation, but it hasn't been frequent.
I'll stay safe,
Elora
8)
Dearest Elora,
I'm glad you are safe. With the borders completely closed, I'm not sure what to think. There are still cloud dwellers who are stuck down here and can't get back. We're providing them temporary housing for now, but we may have to build if this continues on for longer. Our workloads have increased, with the coming storm. I haven't seen the clouds this dark since the last Nimbostratus, I hope that isn't the case now. It doesn't help that we have extra people to care for. I'll be going over to the care house later today, after I gather more materials. Spirits are low, but we are agents of change, Lora. If we both work for the greater good in our own lands, things will get better.
Forever your friend,
Azalea
9)
Azalea,
Unfortunately, it seems that the Nimbostratus is what is being planned. I've now heard the plans of a training camp to take place there. All elementalists have been called to help out. I'm just grateful that Papa didn't register me as unlocking my ability already; I want to stay as far away from there as I can. I don't know if that is enough to protect me though. I don't have many answers. I've been practicing harder with these faster winds; it's not easy to control a tempest. I just hope it doesn't spiral out of our control.
Keep doing what you do best and comfort the cloud dwellers down there; I don't know what I would do if I was stuck in a foreign place…
I'll keep you updated,
Elora
(Enclosed are Lilith's Daisy seeds, to make it feel more like home for the cloud dwellers)
10)
Dear Elora,
I beg you to stay safe. The skies are now always a constant shade of dark gray. The days are getting colder and there is rain in the air. I don't know how the plants are going to survive this for much longer. Thank you for providing the seeds; I've passed them onto your kindred. Their beaming smiles were heartwarming, especially compared to the loss in their eyes. The Ancients are in a terrible uproar, but otherwise, I'm doing fine. I hope the same for you.
Everything will be okay,
Azalea
11)
Lora,
I hope that something is happening to the letters and not you. I do understand how inconvenient our communication system is, but it's always seemed the safest and easiest way, regarding our circumstances. Work is still a grind; The Ancients want us to get as much done before the rain turns to snow. Please stay safe and cautious during this time.
Wishing you well,
Azalea
12)
Lora,
Where are you? Nothing’s normal. The winds are raging, the snow is piling, and our work has stopped for fear of illnesses. It's been too long since I've gotten a letter from you. What's going on? The clouds are nearly black and the temporary shelter won't do for the cloud dwellers anymore. I've taken in two to stay with me for the time being. I don't know what the future will hold or what it will look like. The last few moons haven't done anything to change the uncertainty or make reality seem better. Please just give me a sign that you're alright.
Write back soon,
Azalea
A/N:
I'd like to think that I've improved in figuring out character voices, as well as knowing what's going on behind the scenes, rather than leaving the character's mystery a mystery to me. I did use a few things from the original that I liked, but the storyline is different this time around. I feel like everything flows more smoothly than last time. I think that I wasn't letting the characters be themselves and trying to control them, but I let them roam free this time and it really helped out. I also think that figuring out the political discrepancies helps in having a clear point in the letters.
Thoughts? I would primarily like feedback on pacing and character voice
And if everything makes somewhat sense lol. It is suppose to be mysterious, but there could be something wrong that I overlooked because I subconsciously fill in missing gaps of information.
1/8/2024
1389 words
1)
Azalea,
The council is deteriorating, continually blaming the land dwellers, but they aren't even telling us what is going on! It's like they're trying to prove a point, but they don't have any evidence. Actually, that’s exactly what they are doing. There is so much chaos over here, with the sudden closure of borders. I hope things are better on your side, Lea.
Elora
2)
Dearest Elora,
I'm sorry to inform you that it is the same on land as it is in the clouds. I see some of your kind down here, and I'm sure it's the same up there. The Ancients won't tell us much, other than it's not our problem to deal with. But this is our problem, and we should try to solve it together. I don't know how much help I can be with what little information we have, but a few of us are going to gather more materials to help out the cloud dwellers. Keep your spirits high; this is not the end.
Love,
Azalea
3)
Lea,
More information has been released about why the sudden lockdown ensued. Yes, some land dwellers are here, but their numbers are decreasing. I hope they are being sent back to their home; there are a few moving through the borders. There have been rumors about an ‘unfortunate’ match. It seems that a cloud and land dweller have run off together. We've discussed the stigma surrounding this before, but I still don't understand why it's causing such an uproar. I understand that this is a bigger social issue than just me and my opinions, but I can't stay silent forever, if this is the result! How is this helping anyone?
Write back soon,
Elora
4)
Darling Elora,
It seems that we have only learned the same information, with few details I have to share. I have also heard news of a couple. The Ancients are guarded about making any announcements, though they did mention that we have no need to worry and that everything will be resolved. I think that they are just worried about making us worry. I have a suspicion that The Ancients have more information than they are letting on, but it's so hard to discern what and why things are happening right now.
Hoping, waiting, wishing…
Azalea
5)
Hey Lea,
The security is getting crazy here; I'm not sure how quickly I'll be able to write anymore. The news is finally out, a High Chief's council member, who is also Captain’s son, Casmir, is part of the couple in question. They say that he's run away, bewitched by a lowly land dweller girl. I guess it makes more sense why it's such a big deal, but is it really worth cutting off access to land? Casmir's always been for the alliance between the nations, and we've made so much progress just to have it stripped away within days. There is something else going on here. You already know I'm going to find out whatever I can. But someone is going to have to do a whole lot of talking for everything to get straightened out.
Love,
Elora
6)
Elora,
The skies are getting darker down here… have the elementalists been called? This is unusual. Then again, nothing has been normal in a while. It's a good idea to wait longer to send letters, for you must not get caught. You make sure that you stay safe up there. Casmir is part of a few councilmen, who have frequently helped us out. I'm not sure what your leaders think, but I don't think that they would have expected him to break traditional rules. It must be harder on him too, since his father is the Captain. I still don't understand the stigma your kind has against such marriages. Then again, I don't understand much of your culture, but it shouldn’t cause such a distress.
Things down here haven't changed much, which is better than things getting worse. I feel like a change is coming soon. The journey is just starting.
Your friend,
Azalea
7)
Azalea,
I'm so sorry that this letter has been delayed so long. There has been so much going on around here. So many people have turned their backs on land dwellers. It's absurd what an official statement can do to change the minds of so many. When discussing the political states of land and sky, Mama and Papa insist on speaking in hushed tones. I get that they are scared, but I do it for them. Only them. There has been news, though no one bothers to tell me. Either that or they are purposely not telling me. I just hear whispering and murmurs of some great plan.
The winds have picked up here as well. I did hear that the weather team was sent out, but nothing has been out of ordinary on that until now. Papa and I have been using this as a chance for me to practice my wind manipulation, but it hasn't been frequent.
I'll stay safe,
Elora
8)
Dearest Elora,
I'm glad you are safe. With the borders completely closed, I'm not sure what to think. There are still cloud dwellers who are stuck down here and can't get back. We're providing them temporary housing for now, but we may have to build if this continues on for longer. Our workloads have increased, with the coming storm. I haven't seen the clouds this dark since the last Nimbostratus, I hope that isn't the case now. It doesn't help that we have extra people to care for. I'll be going over to the care house later today, after I gather more materials. Spirits are low, but we are agents of change, Lora. If we both work for the greater good in our own lands, things will get better.
Forever your friend,
Azalea
9)
Azalea,
Unfortunately, it seems that the Nimbostratus is what is being planned. I've now heard the plans of a training camp to take place there. All elementalists have been called to help out. I'm just grateful that Papa didn't register me as unlocking my ability already; I want to stay as far away from there as I can. I don't know if that is enough to protect me though. I don't have many answers. I've been practicing harder with these faster winds; it's not easy to control a tempest. I just hope it doesn't spiral out of our control.
Keep doing what you do best and comfort the cloud dwellers down there; I don't know what I would do if I was stuck in a foreign place…
I'll keep you updated,
Elora
(Enclosed are Lilith's Daisy seeds, to make it feel more like home for the cloud dwellers)
10)
Dear Elora,
I beg you to stay safe. The skies are now always a constant shade of dark gray. The days are getting colder and there is rain in the air. I don't know how the plants are going to survive this for much longer. Thank you for providing the seeds; I've passed them onto your kindred. Their beaming smiles were heartwarming, especially compared to the loss in their eyes. The Ancients are in a terrible uproar, but otherwise, I'm doing fine. I hope the same for you.
Everything will be okay,
Azalea
11)
Lora,
I hope that something is happening to the letters and not you. I do understand how inconvenient our communication system is, but it's always seemed the safest and easiest way, regarding our circumstances. Work is still a grind; The Ancients want us to get as much done before the rain turns to snow. Please stay safe and cautious during this time.
Wishing you well,
Azalea
12)
Lora,
Where are you? Nothing’s normal. The winds are raging, the snow is piling, and our work has stopped for fear of illnesses. It's been too long since I've gotten a letter from you. What's going on? The clouds are nearly black and the temporary shelter won't do for the cloud dwellers anymore. I've taken in two to stay with me for the time being. I don't know what the future will hold or what it will look like. The last few moons haven't done anything to change the uncertainty or make reality seem better. Please just give me a sign that you're alright.
Write back soon,
Azalea
A/N:
I'd like to think that I've improved in figuring out character voices, as well as knowing what's going on behind the scenes, rather than leaving the character's mystery a mystery to me. I did use a few things from the original that I liked, but the storyline is different this time around. I feel like everything flows more smoothly than last time. I think that I wasn't letting the characters be themselves and trying to control them, but I let them roam free this time and it really helped out. I also think that figuring out the political discrepancies helps in having a clear point in the letters.
Thoughts? I would primarily like feedback on pacing and character voice
And if everything makes somewhat sense lol. It is suppose to be mysterious, but there could be something wrong that I overlooked because I subconsciously fill in missing gaps of information.Last edited by AmazaEevee (Jan. 14, 2024 20:39:24)
- hamilchaos
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
I think the pacing is good, not too fast or too slow. The story maintains a good balance between clarity and mystery and everything does make sense.
Some parts of the first version weren't really clear and I can see you've worked on that, stuff that was mentioned in Soki's critique like Oak, mind swipers, etc. (Although those things aren't in the final version so I don't know why I mentioned them lol)
Ultimately I believe you've gotten better :> Both the characters feel natural and authentic. Also, I need the continuation :(
Sorry for making this so general and short, I'm not really good at critiquing stuff but I tried lol
Some parts of the first version weren't really clear and I can see you've worked on that, stuff that was mentioned in Soki's critique like Oak, mind swipers, etc. (Although those things aren't in the final version so I don't know why I mentioned them lol)
Ultimately I believe you've gotten better :> Both the characters feel natural and authentic. Also, I need the continuation :(
Sorry for making this so general and short, I'm not really good at critiquing stuff but I tried lol
Last edited by hamilchaos (Jan. 11, 2024 13:26:17)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
March '24 Leader App Forum Version
1/14/2024
2579 words (including excerpt)
2035 words (excluding excerpt)
1. About Me
Hey! I'm Eevee and I'm a Christian teen living in the Elegant Sunshine Timezone (EST). I use she/her pronouns and I'm homeschooled. I’m also the eldest of 4 children <3
I'm a fandom girlie and some of my most recent/consistent fandoms are Adventures in Odyssey, Marvel, Lord of the Rings (<3) and Pride and Prejudice! I love fictional characters and I love being able to live in another world from my own through the different characters. This also extends into my reading and I listen to audiobooks pretty frequently. I'm most drawn to the fantasy genres, though I have read some great nonfiction books recently. I'm hoping to be able to read 75 books this year, but we'll see how that progresses.
I am both, as some would call it, left brained and right brained.
I love being able to create and it's something I need in my life to ground me. I find it to be therapeutic and it's a positive outlet for my energy. This is usually shown through digital art, sketching, and crafting new things. I dabble in various art forms, but I love learning new skills and the satisfying feeling of seeing the final result.
On the other hand, I need logic and structure because rules make it easier to follow. While the rule breaking of art is freeing, I can also be exhausted from trying to think creatively. I enjoy doing logic puzzles and word searches, especially when paired with a good audiobook <3
Some activities I am actively participating in are bowling and theater. I picked up bowling over the summer and have continued on to the bowling league for this school year. I love the group of kids that I'm with and it's a great activity that my family does weekly. I'm also part of my local theater group, which started about a year ago. We're going to start preparing for our 4th performance soon and I'm excited to get into new roles!
2. Previous Experiences
I have been part of 5 previous sessions! This includes:
Horror March ‘21: Camper (rebelling against hosts!!)
Sci-Fi November ‘21: Camper (sussy baka aliens >:3)
Contemporary March ‘22: Co-leader (contempusion <3)
Real-fi July ‘22: Camper
Poetry July ‘23: Camper
I love being a camper in a variety of Scratch Camps and have thoroughly enjoyed my experiences doing so. However, I also love being able to create the magic that a camper experiences in Scratch camps.
Outside of SWC, I have been a CIT at a summer camp and I've been part of leadership classes since 2022. This has helped me to grow individually and to be more equipped to lead others. I'm also part of an AAPI group that specializes in public speaking and taking leadership that has helped with my confidence and being self-assured. I help out a lot in my theater group, as one of the oldest, and help with cues, costume changes, and making sure the younger kids don’t keep hiding props.
I have been creatively writing on my own since second grade. My first book was written then, and though it is terrible, and while it was terrible (oh my GOSH self-insert mc and “coincidences”), it was a great accomplishment. I fell in love with the act of letting the characters in my head wander into the unknown. However, I enjoy a variety of writing styles, as I was also part of a poetry showcase in middle school.
3. Cabin Preferences
For cabin preferences, I would love to lead Fantasy. My next choices, in order, would be Fanfiction, Adventure, and Action. Cabins I have already been in and am not interested in being part of again are Horror, Sci-Fi, Contemporary, Real-Fi, and Poetry. Cabins that I do not think I will be able to make work with my theme ideas as a leader, but am open to co-lead, are Non-Fi, Hi-Fi, Script, and Classics.
My main cabin idea is Fantasy Knighthood, where our kingdom has been overtaken by monsters, and the campers have been enlisted by Queen Este Dubyou See to join her army. (shush the name is a wip ;v
As knights, campers will defeat monsters and rise in the ranks, as we reclaim our land. If Fantasy isn’t an option, I would love to have Fan-Fi, so there could be fandom themed monsters to defeat <3 I am confident that I will be able to adapt and accommodate for the other genres listed previously as well.
As far as leading TCTWNW, I know that I will be able to accommodate my storyline to fit and create a more relaxed environment, but I think that this idea would be better geared towards a competitive cabin. I am not opposed to leading TCTWNW, but would feel more confident in not leading it, given these circumstances. I have no problems in co-leading TCTWNW, however.
4. Excerpt
It’s an SWC fanfic of an SWC fanfic from the POV of a cow :33 (I love Cheese Jr so much <33)
It’s July 2023. I glance around SWC Island. It’s been a while since we’ve come to the main grounds. We’ve been on the run, mostly taking trails in the lush forest- oooh! Is that food?
My nose leads me to a cabin smelling heavily of mangoes. That must be all of the yellow gunk on it. I give an experimental lick and confirm that the yellow gunk is, in fact, mango. Looping around the cabin, I dart my tongue to clean up as much of the mango as I can. There’s no use in letting precious food go to waste.
“Cheese Jr, get back over here!” A sharp whisper halts me.
Mistress must have noticed I was gone. I trot over to her anyways, I always do, but not before slurping up one last piece of squashed mango.
Once within arms reach of my lady. I'm immediately covered with a dark cape.
“Junior, we’re still fugitives,” Mistress explains, tying a string across my neck. “We have to stay undercover because if the evil hosties find out, we’re all. Erkkk!” she makes an exasperated motion of running a finger across her neck.
I grunt in feigned acknowledgement and she grins.
“We’re going in disguise. Just like Batman and Robin!” she winks. “I’ll be Mysteria and you will be my trusty sidekick-”
Ella interrupts her montage. “Cheese, we agreed. No code names!”
My lady huffs, but sends me a conspiratorial wink.
“Ugh, I knew we should have come earlier when it was all hosts that didn’t know who we were. Now Alba’s back on the host team!” Paige grumbles, kicking a rock.
Eevee hums in agreement as I clop over to her. “Somehow, Cara’s joined hands with the host that burned our cabin down. Though it wouldn’t have been smarter to deny them…”
“Who knows what her intentions are? She may have been blackmailed or planning a takeover from the inside,” Ara suggests, “We shouldn’t interfere. Besides, we’re just stopping by for supplies and information. Nothing more.”
Eevee slides a piece of dried mango out of her crossbody bag. “Please no terrorizing the campers and I promise I’ll give you more once we’re out of here,” she whispers, holding it just high enough that I can't reach.
I moo in agreement and take it hungrily.
We walk around and the gang talk to people, asking about… stuff. I don’t pay much attention to their conversations. I was ordered to follow them and a specific order from my lady to look cute, so I did.
Eevee occasionally gives me a chunk of dried fruit and I stick to her and Mistress.
As we catch more attention, a group of 5 kids and a cow in capes, it’s decided that Ara should morph into one of her cat forms. She goes for her ginger cat. I think they feel safer having the fire element handy over the others.
The sky grows dark and we head back into our shelter.
Once settled, Paige speaks up. “Mission success. I know when we’ll strike. We won’t fail this time.”
“We’ve got a lot of planning to do,” Ara instructs.
5. Time Dedication
As everyone else, I have school, which will take up much of my time. But I am homeschooled and time is more flexible during the day for me. I do have community days on Fridays and I am gone during regular school hours. Other than that, I have my extracurriculars, which include theater, piano lessons, bowling, community service and my AAPI group. My family is also planning to visit my cousins in the middle of February.
I will be able to spend a minimum of 30 minutes a day dedicated to SWC, but an average of an hour to an hour and a half a day is what I am aiming for. The only afflictions to my activity will be the trip in February, and my AAPI group that meets every other Saturday. The meetings run from 6-9PM EST, which means that I won't be active during those times, but I believe that these dates will be the opposite of cabin war days.
I will have a trip from February 11-14, but previous trips haven't affected my activity tremendously. I will make sure to communicate this decrease in activity and plan accordingly with my (co)leaders. In March, I will also have a spring break, which is more unpredictable on activity, depending on what my family decides to do, but I will likely have more time to dedicate towards SWC.
If anything unexpected in my life comes up, I will make sure to let the host team and my fellow leaders as soon as I can.
6. Time Management
One of my main strong suits is being able to finish an assignment with high quality in a short amount of time. I am able to work well with urgent deadlines. However, it isn’t something I am able to do consistently and it does take a lot of effort, but if a need arises, I will be able to take action. I also understand that I am not able to do everything and won't take on more than I am able to do. I will delegate or simplify to get things done.
I am great at making detailed to-do lists and flexible schedules, so that I have the exact tasks broken down and know what time I have available to be able to do them. I have found it easier to get tasks done as I learn more about how I work best and use it to my advantage.
A weakness of mine, as with many others, is procrastination. It is easier for me to get things done when I am held accountable. Even so, I am working on holding myself more accountable and putting systems in place so that when I falter, I am able to come back in line. I use a variety of tools like the pomodoro technique, planners, timers, etc, to make sure that I get things done when they are supposed to.
A lack of motivation can be a major damper on my workflow. However, because SWC is a collaborative space, it will be easier for me to bounce off of others' ideas and get back up to speed. I’m also passionate about SWC, so I don’t expect this to happen often, if at all, during the session. I understand that I won’t always have an instant remedy and I’ll make sure to take a small step back when needed so that I am able to come back stronger.
I will actively aim towards managing my time effectively this session.
7. Collaboration
Being adaptable in social situations and groups has never been a problem for me, having grown up used to moving around. From this, I have learned a lot about different cultures, and how diverse people can be. I’ve learned to compromise and hear everyone out. Some of my strengths in collaborating are adaptability, open-mindedness, and making sure everyone is heard.
One of the things I love most about SWC is its community. I love being able to collaborate with other creatives to create better ideas. I am able to reason and try my best to accommodate everyone. I can't cater to everyone's preference, but I can try my best to make sure that there is something for everyone.
Another asset I am able to bring to the leadership team is graphic design and art. This means that I can help out with cabin graphics, such as the thumbnail and aesthetic. I may or may not be able to contribute to cabin profile pictures as well.
With that being said, I can be a very nitpicky perfectionist on my own work, which can hold me back from my full potential. I can get so hung over a small detail that I can't move forward with the project. However, I have been working towards moving on, even if things aren't perfect and making sure I get the bare minimum done before polishing up the finer details. I also understand when enough is enough. I can't spend endless hours on one project and I know when it's time to let it go.
Another weakness is I have overestimating what I am able to do. I am very ambitious and I want to do anything, everything, all at once. I can be overtaken by passion and bite off more than I can chew… I'm attempting to evaluate whether I am able to take on new projects and actively trying to decrease what I say yes to. I've been working on starting small and then evaluating before I add on more to my workload.
8. Leadership Quality
I believe that a crucial trait for a leader is communication. A leader needs to be able to communicate clearly what the plans are in order to move forward. They also need to be able to communicate with everyone else to get feedback and not make conclusions based on only their thinking. Communication is also the key to creating and maintaining relationships with others. Miscommunication can be disastrous, and while miscommunication can happen on both ends, we should resolve them rather than making assumptions. As a leader, I will communicate with all groups of SWC to make sure that everyone is on the same page and understands what is going on.
9. Cabin Atmosphere (192 characters)
A community-focused cabin aiming for self improvement and forming long lasting bonds. An accountable space encouraging stepping outside of your comfort zone and celebrating personal victories.
10.
A) I am applying for both leader and co leader, and I am willing to share a promotional project for SWC.
B) I am able to complete all the leadership responsibilities that come with being a (co)leader. I understand that as a leader, I am responsible to keep health a priority in my life and to encourage the same for others. (This includes compulsively telling them to go to sleep <3) I am here as a resource to help the campers do their best and answer questions or provide assistance so that they are able to get answers.
C) If there is an absence of a leader, with or without prior notice, from myself or another leader, I will let the hosts know immediately. In the case of a sudden unplanned absence, I will try to reach out to the leader and make sure to wait a couple of days before taking any permanent action. I will work with the hosts to either delegate those responsibilities between the remaining leaders or choose another leader to take their place.
1/14/2024
2579 words (including excerpt)
2035 words (excluding excerpt)
1. About Me
Hey! I'm Eevee and I'm a Christian teen living in the Elegant Sunshine Timezone (EST). I use she/her pronouns and I'm homeschooled. I’m also the eldest of 4 children <3
I'm a fandom girlie and some of my most recent/consistent fandoms are Adventures in Odyssey, Marvel, Lord of the Rings (<3) and Pride and Prejudice! I love fictional characters and I love being able to live in another world from my own through the different characters. This also extends into my reading and I listen to audiobooks pretty frequently. I'm most drawn to the fantasy genres, though I have read some great nonfiction books recently. I'm hoping to be able to read 75 books this year, but we'll see how that progresses.
I am both, as some would call it, left brained and right brained.
I love being able to create and it's something I need in my life to ground me. I find it to be therapeutic and it's a positive outlet for my energy. This is usually shown through digital art, sketching, and crafting new things. I dabble in various art forms, but I love learning new skills and the satisfying feeling of seeing the final result.
On the other hand, I need logic and structure because rules make it easier to follow. While the rule breaking of art is freeing, I can also be exhausted from trying to think creatively. I enjoy doing logic puzzles and word searches, especially when paired with a good audiobook <3
Some activities I am actively participating in are bowling and theater. I picked up bowling over the summer and have continued on to the bowling league for this school year. I love the group of kids that I'm with and it's a great activity that my family does weekly. I'm also part of my local theater group, which started about a year ago. We're going to start preparing for our 4th performance soon and I'm excited to get into new roles!
2. Previous Experiences
I have been part of 5 previous sessions! This includes:
Horror March ‘21: Camper (rebelling against hosts!!)
Sci-Fi November ‘21: Camper (sussy baka aliens >:3)
Contemporary March ‘22: Co-leader (contempusion <3)
Real-fi July ‘22: Camper
Poetry July ‘23: Camper
I love being a camper in a variety of Scratch Camps and have thoroughly enjoyed my experiences doing so. However, I also love being able to create the magic that a camper experiences in Scratch camps.
Outside of SWC, I have been a CIT at a summer camp and I've been part of leadership classes since 2022. This has helped me to grow individually and to be more equipped to lead others. I'm also part of an AAPI group that specializes in public speaking and taking leadership that has helped with my confidence and being self-assured. I help out a lot in my theater group, as one of the oldest, and help with cues, costume changes, and making sure the younger kids don’t keep hiding props.
I have been creatively writing on my own since second grade. My first book was written then, and though it is terrible, and while it was terrible (oh my GOSH self-insert mc and “coincidences”), it was a great accomplishment. I fell in love with the act of letting the characters in my head wander into the unknown. However, I enjoy a variety of writing styles, as I was also part of a poetry showcase in middle school.
3. Cabin Preferences
For cabin preferences, I would love to lead Fantasy. My next choices, in order, would be Fanfiction, Adventure, and Action. Cabins I have already been in and am not interested in being part of again are Horror, Sci-Fi, Contemporary, Real-Fi, and Poetry. Cabins that I do not think I will be able to make work with my theme ideas as a leader, but am open to co-lead, are Non-Fi, Hi-Fi, Script, and Classics.
My main cabin idea is Fantasy Knighthood, where our kingdom has been overtaken by monsters, and the campers have been enlisted by Queen Este Dubyou See to join her army. (shush the name is a wip ;v
As knights, campers will defeat monsters and rise in the ranks, as we reclaim our land. If Fantasy isn’t an option, I would love to have Fan-Fi, so there could be fandom themed monsters to defeat <3 I am confident that I will be able to adapt and accommodate for the other genres listed previously as well.As far as leading TCTWNW, I know that I will be able to accommodate my storyline to fit and create a more relaxed environment, but I think that this idea would be better geared towards a competitive cabin. I am not opposed to leading TCTWNW, but would feel more confident in not leading it, given these circumstances. I have no problems in co-leading TCTWNW, however.
4. Excerpt
It’s an SWC fanfic of an SWC fanfic from the POV of a cow :33 (I love Cheese Jr so much <33)
It’s July 2023. I glance around SWC Island. It’s been a while since we’ve come to the main grounds. We’ve been on the run, mostly taking trails in the lush forest- oooh! Is that food?
My nose leads me to a cabin smelling heavily of mangoes. That must be all of the yellow gunk on it. I give an experimental lick and confirm that the yellow gunk is, in fact, mango. Looping around the cabin, I dart my tongue to clean up as much of the mango as I can. There’s no use in letting precious food go to waste.
“Cheese Jr, get back over here!” A sharp whisper halts me.
Mistress must have noticed I was gone. I trot over to her anyways, I always do, but not before slurping up one last piece of squashed mango.
Once within arms reach of my lady. I'm immediately covered with a dark cape.
“Junior, we’re still fugitives,” Mistress explains, tying a string across my neck. “We have to stay undercover because if the evil hosties find out, we’re all. Erkkk!” she makes an exasperated motion of running a finger across her neck.
I grunt in feigned acknowledgement and she grins.
“We’re going in disguise. Just like Batman and Robin!” she winks. “I’ll be Mysteria and you will be my trusty sidekick-”
Ella interrupts her montage. “Cheese, we agreed. No code names!”
My lady huffs, but sends me a conspiratorial wink.
“Ugh, I knew we should have come earlier when it was all hosts that didn’t know who we were. Now Alba’s back on the host team!” Paige grumbles, kicking a rock.
Eevee hums in agreement as I clop over to her. “Somehow, Cara’s joined hands with the host that burned our cabin down. Though it wouldn’t have been smarter to deny them…”
“Who knows what her intentions are? She may have been blackmailed or planning a takeover from the inside,” Ara suggests, “We shouldn’t interfere. Besides, we’re just stopping by for supplies and information. Nothing more.”
Eevee slides a piece of dried mango out of her crossbody bag. “Please no terrorizing the campers and I promise I’ll give you more once we’re out of here,” she whispers, holding it just high enough that I can't reach.
I moo in agreement and take it hungrily.
We walk around and the gang talk to people, asking about… stuff. I don’t pay much attention to their conversations. I was ordered to follow them and a specific order from my lady to look cute, so I did.
Eevee occasionally gives me a chunk of dried fruit and I stick to her and Mistress.
As we catch more attention, a group of 5 kids and a cow in capes, it’s decided that Ara should morph into one of her cat forms. She goes for her ginger cat. I think they feel safer having the fire element handy over the others.
The sky grows dark and we head back into our shelter.
Once settled, Paige speaks up. “Mission success. I know when we’ll strike. We won’t fail this time.”
“We’ve got a lot of planning to do,” Ara instructs.
5. Time Dedication
As everyone else, I have school, which will take up much of my time. But I am homeschooled and time is more flexible during the day for me. I do have community days on Fridays and I am gone during regular school hours. Other than that, I have my extracurriculars, which include theater, piano lessons, bowling, community service and my AAPI group. My family is also planning to visit my cousins in the middle of February.
I will be able to spend a minimum of 30 minutes a day dedicated to SWC, but an average of an hour to an hour and a half a day is what I am aiming for. The only afflictions to my activity will be the trip in February, and my AAPI group that meets every other Saturday. The meetings run from 6-9PM EST, which means that I won't be active during those times, but I believe that these dates will be the opposite of cabin war days.
I will have a trip from February 11-14, but previous trips haven't affected my activity tremendously. I will make sure to communicate this decrease in activity and plan accordingly with my (co)leaders. In March, I will also have a spring break, which is more unpredictable on activity, depending on what my family decides to do, but I will likely have more time to dedicate towards SWC.
If anything unexpected in my life comes up, I will make sure to let the host team and my fellow leaders as soon as I can.
6. Time Management
One of my main strong suits is being able to finish an assignment with high quality in a short amount of time. I am able to work well with urgent deadlines. However, it isn’t something I am able to do consistently and it does take a lot of effort, but if a need arises, I will be able to take action. I also understand that I am not able to do everything and won't take on more than I am able to do. I will delegate or simplify to get things done.
I am great at making detailed to-do lists and flexible schedules, so that I have the exact tasks broken down and know what time I have available to be able to do them. I have found it easier to get tasks done as I learn more about how I work best and use it to my advantage.
A weakness of mine, as with many others, is procrastination. It is easier for me to get things done when I am held accountable. Even so, I am working on holding myself more accountable and putting systems in place so that when I falter, I am able to come back in line. I use a variety of tools like the pomodoro technique, planners, timers, etc, to make sure that I get things done when they are supposed to.
A lack of motivation can be a major damper on my workflow. However, because SWC is a collaborative space, it will be easier for me to bounce off of others' ideas and get back up to speed. I’m also passionate about SWC, so I don’t expect this to happen often, if at all, during the session. I understand that I won’t always have an instant remedy and I’ll make sure to take a small step back when needed so that I am able to come back stronger.
I will actively aim towards managing my time effectively this session.
7. Collaboration
Being adaptable in social situations and groups has never been a problem for me, having grown up used to moving around. From this, I have learned a lot about different cultures, and how diverse people can be. I’ve learned to compromise and hear everyone out. Some of my strengths in collaborating are adaptability, open-mindedness, and making sure everyone is heard.
One of the things I love most about SWC is its community. I love being able to collaborate with other creatives to create better ideas. I am able to reason and try my best to accommodate everyone. I can't cater to everyone's preference, but I can try my best to make sure that there is something for everyone.
Another asset I am able to bring to the leadership team is graphic design and art. This means that I can help out with cabin graphics, such as the thumbnail and aesthetic. I may or may not be able to contribute to cabin profile pictures as well.
With that being said, I can be a very nitpicky perfectionist on my own work, which can hold me back from my full potential. I can get so hung over a small detail that I can't move forward with the project. However, I have been working towards moving on, even if things aren't perfect and making sure I get the bare minimum done before polishing up the finer details. I also understand when enough is enough. I can't spend endless hours on one project and I know when it's time to let it go.
Another weakness is I have overestimating what I am able to do. I am very ambitious and I want to do anything, everything, all at once. I can be overtaken by passion and bite off more than I can chew… I'm attempting to evaluate whether I am able to take on new projects and actively trying to decrease what I say yes to. I've been working on starting small and then evaluating before I add on more to my workload.
8. Leadership Quality
I believe that a crucial trait for a leader is communication. A leader needs to be able to communicate clearly what the plans are in order to move forward. They also need to be able to communicate with everyone else to get feedback and not make conclusions based on only their thinking. Communication is also the key to creating and maintaining relationships with others. Miscommunication can be disastrous, and while miscommunication can happen on both ends, we should resolve them rather than making assumptions. As a leader, I will communicate with all groups of SWC to make sure that everyone is on the same page and understands what is going on.
9. Cabin Atmosphere (192 characters)
A community-focused cabin aiming for self improvement and forming long lasting bonds. An accountable space encouraging stepping outside of your comfort zone and celebrating personal victories.
10.
A) I am applying for both leader and co leader, and I am willing to share a promotional project for SWC.
B) I am able to complete all the leadership responsibilities that come with being a (co)leader. I understand that as a leader, I am responsible to keep health a priority in my life and to encourage the same for others. (This includes compulsively telling them to go to sleep <3) I am here as a resource to help the campers do their best and answer questions or provide assistance so that they are able to get answers.
C) If there is an absence of a leader, with or without prior notice, from myself or another leader, I will let the hosts know immediately. In the case of a sudden unplanned absence, I will try to reach out to the leader and make sure to wait a couple of days before taking any permanent action. I will work with the hosts to either delegate those responsibilities between the remaining leaders or choose another leader to take their place.
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Jan. 16, 2024 23:25:07)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Unfulfilled Pinky Promises
2/15-3/30/2024
261 words
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/991661869/
2/15-3/30/2024
261 words
https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/991661869/
Special thanks to Chuey, Vi, Crim, and Summer for critiquing this <3
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Sept. 10, 2025 14:40:18)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Leader App Critique for Vi
5/8-12/2024
1049 words
Hi Vi <3 Thanks for letting me critique this
I'll go through each answer with line-by-line edits and general critiques as I read them, and add overall thoughts at the end. Hopefully this all makes sense and let me know if you have any questions about what I've said!
1. Tell us about yourself! (name, timezone, etc.)
While the about me isn't the most important question in an application, it gives the first impression of who you are. You've mentioned several things about yourself, but it's around 100 words and you can definitely expand upon that to show more of your personality, interests, etc. I know you have obsessions, so talk about them here!! They're a big part of who you are, but someone just looking at your app might not know that. And because this /is/ a writing camp, you could also talk more about your novel ;0 This is *my* personal preference and it doesn't make a huge deal, but in the case of being a co or having a potential co looking through leader apps to see who they want to work with, this can be a big vibe check.
I also think that the way that the flow of the paragraph could also be worked on. The first four sentences are good, but then you talk about fictional character and then to fandoms. This isn't bad, but I think that if you go off of the fourth sentence, ending with the topic of writing, you could go into talking bout writing with Crim, and then genres you love, leading into the books, fandoms, fictional characters… I personally think that it helps things to flow better and more cohesive than facts put on a page ^^
2. Have you previously participated in SWC? (If so, in what roles? In either case, what experience do you have with writing and/or leadership positions on and off Scratch?)
I also think that you could expand upon this answer more to tell what you did as a co (cabin graphics, organized activities/puzzles, participation in mbc/daily team, etc). It'll give hosts + leaders a better idea on what you've done, though this also isn't necessary, but a personal preference as well KJDFS-
Same with other experience, though I would say that this is mor important as this is separate from SWC and we are less likely to know about this than your SWC experience. Running roleplays, managing studios, LEGO League?! (That's so cool!) What did you do and can you give specifics? Did you help with inviting, making sure everything was running smoothly, trouble shooting, etc? What did you do to help lead the LEGO League? You're allowed to brag on yourself at least a little bit :> Make things less vague so we have a better understanding on what you are capable of <3
3. Which cabins would you prefer to lead? (Past or present, specify TCTWNW and any ideas)
This looks great! Buuuut, I would say to change up your wording to make it more confident and clear. You use a lot of uncertain words (think, might, etc) and having more confident words will, well, make you look more confident. You don't /think/ it's your main idea; it /is/. Rearranging sentence structure and changing up wording can help a lot. Like you could talk about the maze, as how incorporating this could introduce supernatural forces that campers can encounter. (or something along those lines ^^) Confidence makes you more credible and I know that you are able to handle it, so show it <33
4. Please provide an excerpt of your writing.
Nothing to say about this and I still love it <3
5. What amount of time do you expect to be able to dedicate to SWC? (What plans do you have that could affect your activity?)
I don't have anything big to say about this answer. A few nitpicky things though. You mention that school gets out near the middle of June, but not really how it'll impact your time, if at all, but it is something good to add as a reference. Another thing I would say to add is that you'll make sure to work around your vacation. Also, you use ‘unfortunately’ twice and I don't think that it adds much other than a negative connotation, so I would say it's safe to remove either or both instances of this word ^^
6. What are your skills and shortcomings in time management?
These look great! No comments.
7. What are your strengths and weaknesses in working with others? (What assets would you bring to a leading team?)
Really like your first strength/weakness. And for the other two, I know I sound like a broken record, but you could benefit from expanding on them ^^ Your second answer does encapsulate the minimum of what you could say, but adding an extra sentence or two on examples of how you have compromised in the past or your process of compromising would add a lot. Same goes for your assets! There are a few things that you mention, but adding short explanations/examples can give a better understanding of how you utilize your assets.
8. What one quality do you value most in a leader? (How will you embody this trait as a leader?)
I love this answer a lot :0 The only comment I would make is capitalizing SWC, but that's more of a stylistic and personal preference, and I do notice that you capitalize things less in general, so-
9. What cabin atmosphere do you aim to create? (Under 200 characters.)
Looks great!
Are there any leadership responsibilities listed in the FAQ you cannot complete? If any, please elaborate.
Very nitpicky, but the way it's written has a negative connotation, so you may want to rewrite it to make it more positive. I personally like to say that I will be able to meet all responsibilities, instead of saying that I won't have a problem meeting them. Same message, different connotations. Not really a big difference, but. skjfhd.
In the case of inactive leadership (either by yourself, or by a fellow leader), what steps will you take to ensure that the cabin can still move on smoothly?
I really like how you wrote this a lot!!
–
Overall, your answers are really great!! You have solid answers and it's well written The main two points I would say is expand on what you have and show more of what you have to offer, and to be more confident and positive in your wording!!
A small thing I would add is that there are things in brackets that don't show in forums because Scratch thinks that it's code ^^" I saw them when I quoted your post, but if that is something that you want to be shown on the post, which I am assuming, then I would change that to something else. Changing it to (Door) or {Door} would work, or other variations ^^
Once again, this is a lot of personal preference and my take on your answers. Take everything I've said with a grain of salt and ultimately, it's up to you on how you would like to present yourself. Best of luck to you and I can't wait to see this in its final form ;D
5/8-12/2024
1049 words
Hi Vi <3 Thanks for letting me critique this
I'll go through each answer with line-by-line edits and general critiques as I read them, and add overall thoughts at the end. Hopefully this all makes sense and let me know if you have any questions about what I've said!1. Tell us about yourself! (name, timezone, etc.)
I’m a Christian, twin, and PSTer, who uses she/her pronouns.You should add a space between the ellipsis and ‘Some’.
Lockwood & Co.,
British accents
While the about me isn't the most important question in an application, it gives the first impression of who you are. You've mentioned several things about yourself, but it's around 100 words and you can definitely expand upon that to show more of your personality, interests, etc. I know you have obsessions, so talk about them here!! They're a big part of who you are, but someone just looking at your app might not know that. And because this /is/ a writing camp, you could also talk more about your novel ;0 This is *my* personal preference and it doesn't make a huge deal, but in the case of being a co or having a potential co looking through leader apps to see who they want to work with, this can be a big vibe check.
I also think that the way that the flow of the paragraph could also be worked on. The first four sentences are good, but then you talk about fictional character and then to fandoms. This isn't bad, but I think that if you go off of the fourth sentence, ending with the topic of writing, you could go into talking bout writing with Crim, and then genres you love, leading into the books, fandoms, fictional characters… I personally think that it helps things to flow better and more cohesive than facts put on a page ^^
2. Have you previously participated in SWC? (If so, in what roles? In either case, what experience do you have with writing and/or leadership positions on and off Scratch?)
though sometimes I enjoy reading stories more than writing them.Not a critique, but this is so you KJDFH <3 (and relatable) /pos
I also think that you could expand upon this answer more to tell what you did as a co (cabin graphics, organized activities/puzzles, participation in mbc/daily team, etc). It'll give hosts + leaders a better idea on what you've done, though this also isn't necessary, but a personal preference as well KJDFS-
Same with other experience, though I would say that this is mor important as this is separate from SWC and we are less likely to know about this than your SWC experience. Running roleplays, managing studios, LEGO League?! (That's so cool!) What did you do and can you give specifics? Did you help with inviting, making sure everything was running smoothly, trouble shooting, etc? What did you do to help lead the LEGO League? You're allowed to brag on yourself at least a little bit :> Make things less vague so we have a better understanding on what you are capable of <3
3. Which cabins would you prefer to lead? (Past or present, specify TCTWNW and any ideas)
This looks great! Buuuut, I would say to change up your wording to make it more confident and clear. You use a lot of uncertain words (think, might, etc) and having more confident words will, well, make you look more confident. You don't /think/ it's your main idea; it /is/. Rearranging sentence structure and changing up wording can help a lot. Like you could talk about the maze, as how incorporating this could introduce supernatural forces that campers can encounter. (or something along those lines ^^) Confidence makes you more credible and I know that you are able to handle it, so show it <33
4. Please provide an excerpt of your writing.
Nothing to say about this and I still love it <3
5. What amount of time do you expect to be able to dedicate to SWC? (What plans do you have that could affect your activity?)
During this time, I won’t have access to my devices.
I don't have anything big to say about this answer. A few nitpicky things though. You mention that school gets out near the middle of June, but not really how it'll impact your time, if at all, but it is something good to add as a reference. Another thing I would say to add is that you'll make sure to work around your vacation. Also, you use ‘unfortunately’ twice and I don't think that it adds much other than a negative connotation, so I would say it's safe to remove either or both instances of this word ^^
6. What are your skills and shortcomings in time management?
These look great! No comments.
7. What are your strengths and weaknesses in working with others? (What assets would you bring to a leading team?)
Really like your first strength/weakness. And for the other two, I know I sound like a broken record, but you could benefit from expanding on them ^^ Your second answer does encapsulate the minimum of what you could say, but adding an extra sentence or two on examples of how you have compromised in the past or your process of compromising would add a lot. Same goes for your assets! There are a few things that you mention, but adding short explanations/examples can give a better understanding of how you utilize your assets.
8. What one quality do you value most in a leader? (How will you embody this trait as a leader?)
I love this answer a lot :0 The only comment I would make is capitalizing SWC, but that's more of a stylistic and personal preference, and I do notice that you capitalize things less in general, so-
9. What cabin atmosphere do you aim to create? (Under 200 characters.)
Looks great!
Are there any leadership responsibilities listed in the FAQ you cannot complete? If any, please elaborate.
Very nitpicky, but the way it's written has a negative connotation, so you may want to rewrite it to make it more positive. I personally like to say that I will be able to meet all responsibilities, instead of saying that I won't have a problem meeting them. Same message, different connotations. Not really a big difference, but. skjfhd.
In the case of inactive leadership (either by yourself, or by a fellow leader), what steps will you take to ensure that the cabin can still move on smoothly?
I really like how you wrote this a lot!!
–
Overall, your answers are really great!! You have solid answers and it's well written
The main two points I would say is expand on what you have and show more of what you have to offer, and to be more confident and positive in your wording!!A small thing I would add is that there are things in brackets that don't show in forums because Scratch thinks that it's code ^^" I saw them when I quoted your post, but if that is something that you want to be shown on the post, which I am assuming, then I would change that to something else. Changing it to (Door) or {Door} would work, or other variations ^^
Once again, this is a lot of personal preference and my take on your answers. Take everything I've said with a grain of salt and ultimately, it's up to you on how you would like to present yourself. Best of luck to you and I can't wait to see this in its final form ;D
Last edited by AmazaEevee (May 13, 2024 03:02:59)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Leader App Critique for Mouse
9/11-15/2024
1117 words
Hey Mouse! Thanks for letting me critique this and I hope you enjoy the (very few TvT") puns ;D I went through each answer with line-by-line edits and general critiques, as well as thoughts on how you could potentially cut down on words for each section, with overall thoughts on your app at the end. Let me know if anything doesn’t make sense and let’s get into the critique! It’s a long critique, so buckle up, buttercup, and hopefully you won’t feel like you’re in the hot seat :>
About Me
This actually looks like this is the longest answer, and while that isn’t bad, it isn’t the answer you want to be taking up words over the limit for ^^” My first impression of this was that I think a lot of what is said here can overlap with what can be said in other answers and you could cut down on what different things mean to you.
The first, fourth, and fifth paragraphs are good as they are, I like the way you’ve presented yourself and talked about your other passions in these. THough, maybe you could condense them down a bit?
As far as the other paragraphs go, talking about your writing experience and stuff along those lines overlaps with your Experience answer a bit. What I see is more of a personal angle at it in the About Me and a more professional angle in the Experience. I think combining them and keeping it in the Experience section could be best, though you could include some of the more personal points of writing when you mention your novel.
Ugh, I don’t want to say that you have to cut down on everything because you show so much of who you are here and it’s all really important >< But I digress and move on to the third paragraph. When you overlap on topics, you do talk about them in different ways, so I’m not sure what would be best to say here. You do talk about how you are extroverted a few times, so I’m not sure where the best place for this would be… You do also mention the senior center later in Experience too, though I do love the way that you’ve talked about it here- Just. Cut down and place things where you think they best fit, I guess? There’s a LOT you’ve covered here and I’m not exactly sure where you would want everything to be placed to show yourself in the way that you want to <3
(also there’s a long break from this to the beginning of the next answer, but that's a quick formatting thing that probably wasn’t purposeful lol.)
Experience
The beginning half of this answer seems redundant, as you’re essentially repeating the same thing twice ^^” The paragraph gives a better overall view and summary and the list gives a good rundown, so they both have their place, but I don’t think that having both is necessary. (I personally prefer having the list, but this is up to you ^^)
I love everything that you’ve said here and I don’t have much to actually comment on? Other than maybe condensing it, but I have no idea where to start with that so-
Cabin Preferences
This answer is great and gives a lot of insight as to your dedication and the ideas you have, but crunching down on this answer would definitely help lower word count. Listing out your top three is good, but perhaps choose not including the brief plot ideas? It won’t really affect your chances and can make it easier to read through your answers. I would say that the more important thing is having the hosts know which your main preferences are and the rest don’t matter all that much ^^” Condensing it to something along the lines of ‘I have various plot ideas for my other preferences as well’ should work.
Excerpt
Nothing to comment on <3
Dedication
The only nitpicky thing I have to say here is that you mention activities that you do, but not the amount of time that they could take up. I don’t think this is too big of a deal, but if they take up a significant amount of time (like 2 ½ hours minimum?) you might want to comment on that briefly, just so there’s an idea on what times you could be unavailable. Eh, not necessary, but could be helpful to add.
Time Management
This is a really good solid answer! You’re on fire!! >:P
Though, this answer is the only one with paragraph indents and that formatting is inconsistent with the other answers, so I’d remove that, unless you’re planning to make them all have indents?
Collaboration & Assets
This is a really well balanced answer. I think the only thing I want to comment on here is that you mention your weaknesses and what you do about them, but it doesn't see fully clear to me? I mean, you mention that you know that the SWC community is really kind, but idk- It may just also be a personal preference, but I think adding a bit more to it would be nice? Aksfashkfjsf- Either way is good though. It is a good answer, I just think a clear explanation on how you're working on your weaknesses would help.
One Quality
This is a great answer! Community can really fire you up *cough*
Cabin Atmosphere
The blurb looks great; no comment!
This is really great and shows what you would like in your cabin, but I’m not really sure it’s necessary? I already get the sense that community is important to you from your ‘One Quality’ answer and this is an add-on to another answer, not needed. You could also kind of merge this extra bit to your ‘One Quality’ answer as well.
Checkboxes
You worded this really nicely!
–
The main things that stood out to me was how much of your answers repeat or overlap with each other. It’s great that you have so much to say, but in order to cut down on the word count, you are going to have to place and word your answers in the most concise and true way possible where they fit, not where they could fit. You also include a /lot/ of, well, not necessarily opinion, but extra thoughts, which both shows your personality and takes up unnecessary word count. Like kind of breaking the fourth wall a good bit and sometimes leaning into the more friendly, informal tone. Not a bad thing, there’s room in SWC to be both formal and informal and that’s what I love about it. I guess what I would say here is figure out what shows your personality and reveals something about you, and keep those parts.
Ultimately, longer word count doesn't mean better answers. Find which parts you think are essential and want to be known about you from your app, and leave out things that are more common knowledge about you (like general SWC public things xD) or aren't as important to you personally.
This is essentially a glorified ‘What I Would Do if I Were You’, so you do not have to do everything that I suggested <3 It’s still your app and do with it what you want; I just hope I provided some helpful insight. Can’t wait to see what roles you take on and good luck!!
9/11-15/2024
1117 words
Hey Mouse! Thanks for letting me critique this and I hope you enjoy the (very few TvT") puns ;D I went through each answer with line-by-line edits and general critiques, as well as thoughts on how you could potentially cut down on words for each section, with overall thoughts on your app at the end. Let me know if anything doesn’t make sense and let’s get into the critique! It’s a long critique, so buckle up, buttercup, and hopefully you won’t feel like you’re in the hot seat :>
About Me
it’s about a girl named Crystal, who manifests powerful magic and doesn’t want it, and a demon named Mira who’s whose loyalties aren’t as they seem… (I promise there’s more to it than this, but if I go into it, this will get very long ahaha)
This actually looks like this is the longest answer, and while that isn’t bad, it isn’t the answer you want to be taking up words over the limit for ^^” My first impression of this was that I think a lot of what is said here can overlap with what can be said in other answers and you could cut down on what different things mean to you.
The first, fourth, and fifth paragraphs are good as they are, I like the way you’ve presented yourself and talked about your other passions in these. THough, maybe you could condense them down a bit?
As far as the other paragraphs go, talking about your writing experience and stuff along those lines overlaps with your Experience answer a bit. What I see is more of a personal angle at it in the About Me and a more professional angle in the Experience. I think combining them and keeping it in the Experience section could be best, though you could include some of the more personal points of writing when you mention your novel.
Ugh, I don’t want to say that you have to cut down on everything because you show so much of who you are here and it’s all really important >< But I digress and move on to the third paragraph. When you overlap on topics, you do talk about them in different ways, so I’m not sure what would be best to say here. You do talk about how you are extroverted a few times, so I’m not sure where the best place for this would be… You do also mention the senior center later in Experience too, though I do love the way that you’ve talked about it here- Just. Cut down and place things where you think they best fit, I guess? There’s a LOT you’ve covered here and I’m not exactly sure where you would want everything to be placed to show yourself in the way that you want to <3
(also there’s a long break from this to the beginning of the next answer, but that's a quick formatting thing that probably wasn’t purposeful lol.)
Experience
The beginning half of this answer seems redundant, as you’re essentially repeating the same thing twice ^^” The paragraph gives a better overall view and summary and the list gives a good rundown, so they both have their place, but I don’t think that having both is necessary. (I personally prefer having the list, but this is up to you ^^)
I’ve also entered my writing into several competitions on and off sScratch, and I’m working tirelessly on getting my novel written, polished, and published <33
I love everything that you’ve said here and I don’t have much to actually comment on? Other than maybe condensing it, but I have no idea where to start with that so-
Cabin Preferences
This answer is great and gives a lot of insight as to your dedication and the ideas you have, but crunching down on this answer would definitely help lower word count. Listing out your top three is good, but perhaps choose not including the brief plot ideas? It won’t really affect your chances and can make it easier to read through your answers. I would say that the more important thing is having the hosts know which your main preferences are and the rest don’t matter all that much ^^” Condensing it to something along the lines of ‘I have various plot ideas for my other preferences as well’ should work.
Excerpt
Nothing to comment on <3
Dedication
The only nitpicky thing I have to say here is that you mention activities that you do, but not the amount of time that they could take up. I don’t think this is too big of a deal, but if they take up a significant amount of time (like 2 ½ hours minimum?) you might want to comment on that briefly, just so there’s an idea on what times you could be unavailable. Eh, not necessary, but could be helpful to add.
Time Management
This is a really good solid answer! You’re on fire!! >:P
Though, this answer is the only one with paragraph indents and that formatting is inconsistent with the other answers, so I’d remove that, unless you’re planning to make them all have indents?
Collaboration & Assets
I try always try to be myself–a silly, kind, approachable person who’s there if you need a laugh or need someone to rant to. I love talking to anyone and everyone, and I’m always there to lend an ear and to lift people up–when someone isn’t happy, I always try to change that <3
This is a really well balanced answer. I think the only thing I want to comment on here is that you mention your weaknesses and what you do about them, but it doesn't see fully clear to me? I mean, you mention that you know that the SWC community is really kind, but idk- It may just also be a personal preference, but I think adding a bit more to it would be nice? Aksfashkfjsf- Either way is good though. It is a good answer, I just think a clear explanation on how you're working on your weaknesses would help.
One Quality
Having a community makes everyone feel welcome, and more comfortable
This is a great answer! Community can really fire you up *cough*
Cabin Atmosphere
The blurb looks great; no comment!
One thing that I’m not able to fit into my atmosphere blurb, but want to make sure I include in whatever cabin I might co/lead, is a strong sense of community and a plotline that’s interactive and moving but not overwhelming.
This is really great and shows what you would like in your cabin, but I’m not really sure it’s necessary? I already get the sense that community is important to you from your ‘One Quality’ answer and this is an add-on to another answer, not needed. You could also kind of merge this extra bit to your ‘One Quality’ answer as well.
Checkboxes
if I can still complete my responsibilities or, if I’ll need to step back for a bit, or drop out.
You worded this really nicely!
–
The main things that stood out to me was how much of your answers repeat or overlap with each other. It’s great that you have so much to say, but in order to cut down on the word count, you are going to have to place and word your answers in the most concise and true way possible where they fit, not where they could fit. You also include a /lot/ of, well, not necessarily opinion, but extra thoughts, which both shows your personality and takes up unnecessary word count. Like kind of breaking the fourth wall a good bit and sometimes leaning into the more friendly, informal tone. Not a bad thing, there’s room in SWC to be both formal and informal and that’s what I love about it. I guess what I would say here is figure out what shows your personality and reveals something about you, and keep those parts.
Ultimately, longer word count doesn't mean better answers. Find which parts you think are essential and want to be known about you from your app, and leave out things that are more common knowledge about you (like general SWC public things xD) or aren't as important to you personally.
This is essentially a glorified ‘What I Would Do if I Were You’, so you do not have to do everything that I suggested <3 It’s still your app and do with it what you want; I just hope I provided some helpful insight. Can’t wait to see what roles you take on and good luck!!
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Sept. 16, 2024 01:13:30)
- AmazaEevee
-
Scratcher
500+ posts
✦ eevee's megathread
Leader App Critique for Chuey
9/15-18/2024
469 words
Hi Chuey!! Thanks for entrusting me to critique your app <3 I’m going to go through each answer with some line-by-line edits/critiques, general critiques for each answer, and then overall thoughts on your app to wrap it up. I hope this all makes sense to you and let me know if anything doesn’t. Now let the roasting begin >:3 /j
1. About Me
BWAHA- I love it already-
(technically this is correct, but extrAverted is the british spelling, i believe, and i see extrOverted more often, but maybe this spelling was unintentional, idk just wanted to point that out)
…are pets technically persons? ovO
I like this answer a lot! Everything’s pretty straight to the point and it shows a lot of personality!!
2. SWC Experience
I feel like this section is a bit flower-y? There’s just extra information added here that isn’t necessary, which is fine, but something to keep in mind if you want to make it more concise.
And the leadership experience is good, though I would say expand upon how you believe being an older sibling has helped you in leadership skills. As an eldest sibling myself, I know there’s a lot more to it than just working with different personality types. Making sure everyone is working together, boosting them up, etc, what do you like about being an eldest sibling that can be transferred to leadership roles? Actually, expanding on this here might not be the best idea, but in Collaboration and Assets.
3. Cabin Preferences
No comment lol.
4. Excerpt
I think this isn’t necessary to say, as it IS an excerpt so. Kind of self explanatory. Though not everyone actually uses excerpts, but saying this is redundant
5. Time Dedication
If these are 2-3 hour blocks of time, I would say to list them out here, so that then others know what extended times you’re not available and can see if that scheduling could be an issue or not. Eh, a bit of a personal preference, but it doesn’t hurt.
6. Time Management
I have nothing to really comment on here.
7. Team and Assets
I think that phrase isn't necessary, but it's okay to keep in too.
I really like how you've answered this question, well done!
8. One Quality
This is also a really well written answer! Very concise and to the point.
9. Atmosphere
Very nice and very Chuey B)
10. Checkboxes
This is really well written, no comments!
–
This is a solid co app, Chuey! You have a great balance of personality and professionalism, and you put things really truthfully. I don't really have much to comment on and I can't wait to see what you do this session <3 i would like to take this moment to talk about the amazing lego succulent. i want them so bad. your visuals are great btw And yeah! Thanks for letting me critique this for you and I hope this was helpful <3
9/15-18/2024
469 words
Hi Chuey!! Thanks for entrusting me to critique your app <3 I’m going to go through each answer with some line-by-line edits/critiques, general critiques for each answer, and then overall thoughts on your app to wrap it up. I hope this all makes sense to you and let me know if anything doesn’t. Now let the roasting begin >:3 /j
1. About Me
I'm Chuey, but you can call me Chuey.
BWAHA- I love it already-
(I'm pretty extraverted)
(technically this is correct, but extrAverted is the british spelling, i believe, and i see extrOverted more often, but maybe this spelling was unintentional, idk just wanted to point that out)
When meeting new people, the first person I introduce myself to is usually their cat or dog.
…are pets technically persons? ovO
I like this answer a lot! Everything’s pretty straight to the point and it shows a lot of personality!!
2. SWC Experience
I did a few of the dailies and wasn't all that active
I feel like this section is a bit flower-y? There’s just extra information added here that isn’t necessary, which is fine, but something to keep in mind if you want to make it more concise.
Then again, I haven't entered in an official contest in years. I believe my writing skills have improved since the last time–at least, I hope so!
And the leadership experience is good, though I would say expand upon how you believe being an older sibling has helped you in leadership skills. As an eldest sibling myself, I know there’s a lot more to it than just working with different personality types. Making sure everyone is working together, boosting them up, etc, what do you like about being an eldest sibling that can be transferred to leadership roles? Actually, expanding on this here might not be the best idea, but in Collaboration and Assets.
3. Cabin Preferences
No comment lol.
4. Excerpt
note: this is a smaller chunk of a longer short story I wrote for SWC
I think this isn’t necessary to say, as it IS an excerpt so. Kind of self explanatory. Though not everyone actually uses excerpts, but saying this is redundant
5. Time Dedication
Oh, and I have church on Sunday mornings, and Sunday and Wednesday evenings, so I won't be online during those times.
If these are 2-3 hour blocks of time, I would say to list them out here, so that then others know what extended times you’re not available and can see if that scheduling could be an issue or not. Eh, a bit of a personal preference, but it doesn’t hurt.
6. Time Management
I have nothing to really comment on here.
7. Team and Assets
an extravert both in real life and online, talking to people is one of my favorite things to do.
I think that phrase isn't necessary, but it's okay to keep in too.
I really like how you've answered this question, well done!
8. One Quality
This is also a really well written answer! Very concise and to the point.
9. Atmosphere
Very nice and very Chuey B)
10. Checkboxes
This is really well written, no comments!
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This is a solid co app, Chuey! You have a great balance of personality and professionalism, and you put things really truthfully. I don't really have much to comment on and I can't wait to see what you do this session <3 i would like to take this moment to talk about the amazing lego succulent. i want them so bad. your visuals are great btw And yeah! Thanks for letting me critique this for you and I hope this was helpful <3
Last edited by AmazaEevee (Sept. 19, 2024 00:10:03)