(here's one that's a bit better)
Item #: SCP-11221987
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: A small, CRT television, kept away from most electronics.
Description: A being sort of like a ghost and AI figure that can take over electronic equipment, 11221987 resembles a crude impersonation of 1980's pop culture character Max Headroom. Likes to do immature, juvenile things, such as mutter pop culture phrases and (DATA EXPUNGED).

Note: Somehow was let out in Chicago on November 22nd, 1987.

Let's talk about SCP-871.

sowut123 wrote:

Let's talk about SCP-871.

What is that one?

Bump

Tale: Noobcaik

Behind a titanium door, there lay a cake on a table. It was a chocolate cake. It was a good cake. In front of a titanium door, there lay several human beings, one wearing orange, looking nervous. A slim card, one battle worn from ages of use, slid into a futuristic receptacle.

Our figure in orange puzzled, staring at the cake. His mouth watering, he realises he's allergic to chocolate.

Eat it, said the nerds behind the pane of glass. They look so smug. They need to be in front of this cake, the orange figure thought.
The figure refused to shove the mass of chocolate into his face.
Eat it, once more said those smug-looking researchers. One looked quite young, wondering what was going to happen. One looked completely ordinary. One looked like he had lost his mind. And yet another was sitting at a table, eating crackers with candles in the holes, because of a sign next to the table.

If cake is not allowed here, the orange figure thought, that must mean the cake is dangerous.

Eat it, or you die. Said the one with the least sanity.

The orange figure was expelling salt water from its epidermis. The insane one's expression suddenly became very, very sane.
“Subject is uncooperative, ordering temination.”

Never as quickly as before had the person in orange consumed a chocolate cake in his life. He'd probably die anyway, but to him, cake was the best way to go.

Vomit.

Screaming behind the glass. Screaming in front of the titanium door. Screaming. The orange figure was confused, then started screaming.
Where there was once vomit, there is now cake. Where there was once air, there is now cake.

There is cake.

A small explosion surrounds the insane one. The normal one attempts to jump at the explosion. The one with the crackers continues to eat. The young one is fascinated.

There is still cake.
A colossal amount of cake ingredients flows out of the space where there used to be a titanium door. All of the armed figures are pelted with the force of niagra falls forced through a straw.

There continues to be cake.

A mile-high layer cake made out of smaller cakes stands where a secret research facility once stood. A mountain of chocolate, vanilla, carrots, candles, and ice cream rushes across the desert, flattening cactuses (fite me) and covering the sand.

Cake is love, cake is life.

The batter pours into cities, smothering innocent citizens with tons of cake. Helicopters armed with cameras, followed by helicopters armed with plasma rifles, pursue the perilous pies. Automobiles flee from the towering tower of dessert, which originated in a desert.

There is no life.

There is no land.

There is no god.



There is only cake.

Nambaseking01 wrote:

sowut123 wrote:

Let's talk about SCP-871.

What is that one?

Basically SCP-682 but a cake, and it replicates if you don't eat it.

sowut123 wrote:

Nambaseking01 wrote:

sowut123 wrote:

Let's talk about SCP-871.

What is that one?

Basically SCP-682 but a cake, and it replicates if you don't eat it.

That sounds nice and horrifying at the same time.

EZ-Games wrote:

sowut123 wrote:

Nambaseking01 wrote:

sowut123 wrote:

Let's talk about SCP-871.

What is that one?

Basically SCP-682 but a cake, and it replicates if you don't eat it.

That sounds nice and horrifying at the same time.

Not literally. It regenerates if it is destroyed in a way that isn't eating it, and it isn't in the shape of 682.

sowut123 wrote:

~snip~
Basically SCP-682 but a cake, and it replicates if you don't eat it.

sowut123 wrote:

~snip~
Not literally. It regenerates if it is destroyed in a way that isn't eating it, and it isn't in the shape of 682.

Oh no. That is not good. Oof.

I wrote a tale above about this cake. Yum yum.

14152cool wrote:

I wrote a tale above about this cake. Yum yum.

I read the story — it was surprisingly well written, I think you need to join the English World War I from the Emerald Shop 3.0!

Try SCP-1459. It's a machine that dispenses a puppy, and then you have to state a method of destroying said puppy. If said method hasn't been used before, you win a cookie! And the puppy also dies in the method stated.

14152cool wrote:

Try SCP-1459. It's a machine that dispenses a puppy, and then you have to state a method of destroying said puppy. If said method hasn't been used before, you win a cookie! And the puppy also dies in the method stated.

What if the method has been used before?
EDIT: I have an idea.
[Tuwos runs off and returns 4 minutes later with a few instances of SCP-500]
Yeah! More super pills!

14152cool wrote:

Try SCP-1459. It's a machine that dispenses a puppy, and then you have to state a method of destroying said puppy. If said method hasn't been used before, you win a cookie! And the puppy also dies in the method stated.

Well okay, I guess for a cookie…

200th POST BOIS!

EZ-Games wrote:

14152cool wrote:

Try SCP-1459. It's a machine that dispenses a puppy, and then you have to state a method of destroying said puppy. If said method hasn't been used before, you win a cookie! And the puppy also dies in the method stated.

Well okay, I guess for a cookie…

200th POST BOIS!

It dispenses the type of cookie you dislike the most, but maybe you can manipulate it into giving another type of cookie, since that's happened before.

sowut123 wrote:

EZ-Games wrote:

14152cool wrote:

Try SCP-1459. It's a machine that dispenses a puppy, and then you have to state a method of destroying said puppy. If said method hasn't been used before, you win a cookie! And the puppy also dies in the method stated.

Well okay, I guess for a cookie…

200th POST BOIS!

It dispenses the type of cookie you dislike the most, but maybe you can manipulate it into giving another type of cookie, since that's happened before.

Oh, well nevermind.

I think I found an scp
I was out in a wild and saw a skunk, it seemed to act human like, trying lost perfume and everything!

Bump

i think i found an scp

a guy dressed as santa gave me a toy dinosaur, i lost it later,

then when i got home i looked under my bed and there was the same dinosaur, but it was a different color. the original one was green, this one was blue. blue is my favorite color.

santa is real