i'm a vampire. i like to eat dirty gym socks as a hobby. i can also preform photosynthesis. as a child i was raised by otters after a freak canoe accident. i also like dissecting and eating live pugs.

i'm working on learning my ABCs, flossing, washing my hands after I go to the bathroom, finding the aliens among us, licking my toilet, and stealing money from pugs that are now currently in poverty.