The average human lives 79 years.
Thats 28,835 days
Thats 692,040 hours
Thats 41,522,400 minutes
And that's 2,491,344,000 seconds
The clock is always ticking.
(I'm not depressed at the moment, just thinking a lot...)
I've had people leave me for an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year..., 7 years (Hi dad)
And never once have I been so sad about someone leaving me, until now.
You know who you are...
And Idk how I'm gonna survive with you gone, even if its for a short-ish amount of time XD
That's weird to say, just me personally... cause I've never been good with feelings...
Happiness isn't really a thing I knew how to feel until I met you, and I felt that feeling every time we talked...
But then I realised that I need to put your happiness above mine... and think about things... I really don't believe I'm a good person right now... and you deserve better than me. Someone that can make you happy without hiding the dark secrets of their past...
And I'd love to tell you all the bad things I've done, just to show you that you deserve better... but this is scratch, so I can not XD
I honestly don't know what point I'm trying to get across right now...
Maybe just that I'll miss you?
And maybe I already do...?
Or maybe I love you...?
And I want you to be happy...?
I want you to find someone better... but at the same time I dont want you to leave me, or give up on me... but I know thats not the right thing to do
(I just realised... that I should have said this all three days ago.. maybe things would have been better right now?)
(All this might have been a mistake... But I dont really care right now.. I'm already dying, nothing can get worse :/)