I feel alone.
I'm now a freshmen in highschool, and so I expected seperation from my friends. But not on this scale. I am alone in all my classes. I have none of my good friends with me, but they all have each other.
I feel like i'm on a deserted island, and nobody is coming for me.
I'm paranoid of what people think of me. I always think people are talking about me behind my back. Saying how I'm "such an idiot" or how I never stop making noise in some way (Tapping, Humming, Talking, Etc.) or something like that.
I'm losing my motivations and inspirations faster and faster every day. Nothing I do I am happy or even just content with. Not to mention that I think that said motivations/inspirations are driving people away, how it's just the same few things over and over. Like a rainbow without color.
I feel like i'm becoming isolated, becoming somehow more quiet and shy. I always take the corners of the room, and try to avoid any and all possible interactions with anyone, developing an idea of "Don't talk to me unless I talk to you first."
In public, when I see a friend, I don't talk to them, because I think i'd make the moment awkward. I feel like a third wheel, and embarass everyone with anything I do, and if not, just myself, as always.
I feel pressured by my family to do good and meet their expectations at all times. I'm in high-school, and I can't tell you the last time i've ever been to a friend's house. I feel like i'm forced to be an example for my brothers, and because of that, I can't be myself. I haven't been for a long time.
All in all, I'm just currently in a "Nobody likes me." mindset, and I know it sounds cheesy.
I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry or sypathy for me, and just venting. Sorry if I invited someone who didn't want to be or If I wasted anyone's time. Just note that I haven't been myself as of late and might not be for a while.
... I really just hope my family never sees this. That'd just dig my situation deeper into the ground.