Chapter 4 - Part 1
Chapter 4 - Part 2
Wow, I thought. Depressing. I turned the page. (Olivia says I should skip this part. [I thought I said to be quiet!])
“I feel like an old star. All the people in my life are orbiting around me. That old star is about to collapse, creating a black hole that will suck everything to its doom.”
“Everything happens for a reason, whether we see it now, or in the future.”
I flipped through a bunch of notes and scribbles. Then something caught my eye. It read…
List of Things to Ask God
Why can’t there be peace?
What are emotions?
What’s the point of sadness?
Why can’t we cry whenever we want to?
Why did you make love if some people weren’t meant for it?
Why can’t we change minds with something simpler?
Why can’t we kill ourselves if we wanted to?
What the heck! I silently exclaimed. This guy was thinking about suicide! Wait, why did this person leave this book here? Is he dead? If so, how did he die? Oh, crud.
I read some more.
Help. I want to kill myself. For real this time.
Silent cries are the ones that show the most pain.
My love is like a tree,
Tall and sturdy,
But, be careful what you see,
It could fall easily.
Scared to death, but I’ll be alright.
I’m done. I’m jumping, and I’m done.
Holy crap! I thought.
I put the book down gingerly, like it was full of explosives. I picked up the other book, expecting the same thing. This one was the same deep blue, but it had a moon and stars on it. I opened the cover… and found it was a bunch of blank, lined pages.
Hmmmm… I thought. I picked up the freshly sharpened pencil that was on the nightstand and started writing.
Crying is bad.
That’s what they say.
Don’t listen to them.
Just walk away.
Crying is bad,
But is it really?
It’s not stupid,
Nor is it silly.
Crying is good.
Trust me, it helps.
Come here and stay.
Crying is good.
Get it all out.
I’ll be here for you.
With love, an infinite amount.
Knock knock knock! I looked up from my writing. The red-head poked his head inside.
“Dinner,” he stated.
“‘Kay,” I responded.
“You’re writing in that? You gay or something?” He asked.
“I’ll be down in a minute. Bye!” I said curtly.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“I know,” I said exasperatedly, trying to keep my cool. “Bye, now.”
“Are you?” He kept pressing.
“So what if I am?” I exploded, jumping of the bed. “Even if I was gay, it wouldn’t make much of a difference, would it? So, take yourself out the door, and leave me alone!!!!” I screamed. Then I shoved him out the door and slammed it behind him.
“Geez,” I heard him say.
“Shove a sock in it!” I yelled. Then I collapsed on the bed.