I've caused so much harm to so many people. Why couldn't I just have caved to her biography?
This is my vent poem. Its mature. It gets out feels I've had for years. Don't report it. My parents don't even know... She made it all feel better. Everything disappeared.
Now that I've done this, it feels worse again.
I won't do anything listed in the poem. That would hurt everyone worse than if I was alive.
I'll try and update this occasionally. If I stop and I haven't been banned, that's a signal that I'm doing things. Not necessarily that strong, but none the less.
I wrote a poem about it. Just hope its not my last poem:
Its my fault she's left the website.
Its my fault she might have done worse.
Why did I do this?
Why did I?
What's the point anymore?
I was on this website to avoid reality.
Now its caught up to me.
Someone is gone.
And its my fault.
She says its her.
She thinks nobody else does.
We're here, we've been here.
Am I too blind to see the rubble I've made?
I was before. Now I can see.
Its here before my feet. The rubble, the dust. The broken stones.
Just like the hearts I've broken.
Get out of my head, thoughts.
Thoughts of blood falling from my chest.
Thoughts of a rope tied just right.
Thoughts of the cliff, perfect for a final skydive.
I ignored everything before.
Now its here before me.
Should I take a leap of faith becsuse of someone I love going missing?
No. I never should.
It would be stupid. I can't do it.
I'd judt hurt more people than I already have?
What did I do?