Every day seems to have some sort of flaw, wether it's bullies, I fall down, something slightly bad happens, or anything. It breaks me. it ruins my day. I can't not do this. I can only do this somehow. I feel targeted, mocked, and bullied every day. There's something else, but it involves 'rude' actions. Me and my best friends are all bullied. I'm saying their real names, because they're so terrible they deserve it. Jordyn and Mackenzie. They're both bullies. I've talked with my school guidance teacher about them before, and this is it "If they yell at you, you ask them softly 'Are you okay?' Because in some cases confusion is the best way. It shows your maturity, (They're younger than us.) and is brings you to a higher point." I haven't really gotten to say that yet. They mocked my friend, who was crying. When I came over to help, Mackenzie said this, and I quote, "You made her cry." I wanted to push her into a puddle. I hated her so much. My pure hatred turned into fury. I didn't push her, though. Then, I had to put my lunch in the lunchroom, (I know, it weird but it would sorta reveal my age if I said it differently.) And when I came in the room, I saw the guidance teacher, talking with Jordyn. I felt terrible. So bad. Thinking of that horror makes me feel sick. Then, I quickly avoided the situation, by placing my lunch where it should've been, and running out the room. I was depressed during actual lunch. I know my friend would NEVER EVER do this, because she is the best friend anyone could ever have, but I felt sorta ignored. I burst into tears lining up, and expressed myself. The day was pretty good from then on.
But here's how I handle it.
I bottle it up. I don't speak. I keep it to myself. I never ever tell my friends, my family, or anyone. My heart aches to tell, but I don't want to seem annoying.
The entire world falls apart at my feet. One thing went wrong in March, then it went downhill. Fight broke out, Mackenzie and Jordyn bullied harder, private stuff, and more. I feel like no-one loves me. And when people say their problems to me, and say "There are people in worse places" It makes me feel awful, and selfish.
Does anyone know anything to help not being able to sleep at night? I can almost never get a good sleep.