This week is my spring break, and I get to play video games all week long. That’s good right? Well... I could say otherwise...
1. My girlfriend went AWOL, but just remove the WOL part. She’s... gone. She’s prioritizing her school, so she doesn’t fail.
2. My dad almost went to the hospital TODAY because he couldn’t breathe. This really hurt me thinking about what could’ve happened to him.
3. People are ASKING me about what happened with ash, like asking if I broke up with her, which I clearly didn’t, and it just makes me sad just sitting here waiting for her.
4. My chatroom is becoming unorganized, and people (like @aqore (angie)) are just spamming random things.
5. I feel lonely. I haven’t talked to anyone in a while.
6. I almost choked and passed out because I couldn’t breath one day when washing the dishes... and I don’t know why. Maybe i’m just.. gonna die?
7. My aunt passed away, and seeing her picture on our wall... I just lose faith in everything, and I wanna quit living at that point.
I feel like.. I have no more meaning in life.
No one’s here for me.
I don’t belong here.
I don’t know.
i feel meaningless.
I wanna quit everything.
go to sleep,
and never wake up.
There’s nothing for me to do in life.
Everything bores me.
I should just... not exist.
it doesn’t feel good when someone you love doesn’t even bother to talk to you anymore.
Playing video games just doesn’t cheer me up. Talking to people.. makes me feel a little better.
I played MLBB very late at night, and someone used their mic to talk. I felt good. They instructed me on what to do, where to go, when to attack, what turrets to target, when to heal, when to recall, and everything like that. I just felt important.
Does this mean I like being pushed around?
Since ash went to do school, I just lost a part of me. I feel emotionless.
I feel plain.
What is happening to me?
I wanna just.... stop.
I can’t handle this pain.