So..you guys know that studio I made where I'm sad and all? If you don't know, here's the link:
But me being sad in the rps? That wasn't fake. It was real. Pretty much the whole time I was talking to everyone, I was just sitting in my room crying..Why you ask? ...Maybe because I'm actually depressed..I don't know. I'm trying to act happy around my friends and family, but really I can't go a day without looking sad or feeling sad or thinking sad thoughts..And don't think I'm leaving Scratch..no, I'll never do that.
Maybe i'll try to explain why i'm sad..
My mom dying. I feel like I caused it though..she died of cancer when I was 1..so I never actually got to meet her..I feel like I caused it because she was sick when she was still pregnant with me..Also kinda out of context, I was meant to be born in February, but due to the fact my mom was sick, I was therefore born on the 31st of December.
Maybe its because my sister/and or my aunt are always arguing with my dad. I dunno. I'm always on their side, not my dad's. Why? I don't exactly like him..(Plausible Daddy issues like Todoroki??) But yeah..I'm to the point to where if i'm talking to my dad, and if I just word a sentence wrong, or tell him something that just slipped out of my mouth, I feel that I'll set him off and make him mad...
Maybe because I constantly feel like people at school are making fun of me..I'm serious..every time I'm in gym, I just play with a basketball by repeatedly shooting it against the wall...I don't really hang out with anyone..every once in a while I hang out with these 8th grade boys..and every time the girls that are walking during gym pass me, I feel like they're just staring, questioning my existence..making comments on how fat I am...
"What do you care what I think anyway? I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference."
I should stop eating..get anorexia or something...then maybe I won't be fat girl anymore and I could be just like the girls at school..