This drawing is now a full year old.
Sorry for the invite.
To anyone who has been wondering where I am, I've been really busy. I'm getting ready for high school and trying to fix my mental health. I haven't had the time for scratch, which is sad, because I really miss it. I've been kind of depressed thinking about what scratch was like when I first joined it on my old account. I'm 3 years older now, and I am probably too old for scratch, lol. But, I really don't know what to do with myself. I have a lot of ideas, but I just can't seem to put them down in the form of art. I feel like right now, I should be the happiest I've been in a very long time. I have a good amount of friends both online and IRL, I'm finally getting therapy and such for my mental health issues, and I am generally getting interested in things I enjoy again. But I just feel very wrong, like I'll never be the same. Which is honestly kind of weird for a 13 year old to say. I guess I just feel like, extremely unsatisfied, uncomfortable, and angry at my current life. There are a lot of bad things too... I've lost contact with many friends, I'm worried about getting into a specific high school, I need to get better grades and get organized, I need to work harder on improving my art, and I should actually get to work on animation, because to this day I still have only 1 animation on this account, and it's 4 frames long. I've been really insecure about my art as of late, too. I just generally feel like I'm not improving as steadily as I used to, and that's been hurting. Also, I had a nightmare that my family hated my artwork, which I can't get out of my head anymore. My dad isn't very supportive of me at the moment, he just kind of stares at me from a distance, silently, or gets angry at me when I do something he sees as "wrong" or do... like, anything. My brother broke both my drawing tablet and computer, and I had specifically let him use them for a school project and told him not to break them. But he did. (By accident, he got the cords messed up and they breifly caught fire.) Now, I'm willing to pour in a lot of my money to fix this problem, but I don't have any allowance other than the money I currently have (about 80 bucks) which I got for my birthday. I can't earn any more money, but my parents are telling me that I need to "save up" to get a new drawing tablet/computer, so I really don't have anything until then. I get about 100 dollars per birthday, and because I need to buy a COMPUTER TOO, it's going to take me several birthdays to get the computer, and then 3 more birthdays to get a decent tablet (which means I'm probably getting one of those terrible 40 dollar tablets, sadly), and that will still take me 'til I'm seventeen. And it's not like Dad can't afford it, we have lots of money. We're literally going to MONACO in February (which I appreciate, because Monaco is cool.) I've been working on digital art since 2016, it's crushing to see that my dad is no longer willing to support that goal, just because! I've wanted to go into digital animation since I was 7, and now I just can't, and all my work is wasted! THANKS, DAD! So yeah, don't expect to see any more art from me for a VERY. LONG. TIME. Unless I can make some sort of deal with Mom. Which probably won't happen. Also, this account has almost been on scratch for a whole year... yay?
In conclusion, I don't know what to do and I'm really depressed. I know that in the grand scheme of things, my problems don't matter. There are people who have it worse. But I'm still angry that the last 3 years, almost 4 years of my life have just been a huge waste, and I shouldn't have even applied for an arts school to get into a good arts college. Did I mention that? I'm going into an art high school? Well, dad probably won't let me, because he thinks that "being a programmer like him" would be a much more stable job. Considering how many people are becoming programmers, there's going to be NO MARKET for programmers by 2028, when I (presumably) enter to commercial world.