tell you, “i thought i loved you too”
just didn't have the words to say
put the piece in your backyard
in hopes to be enough for you to stay

note from lyney:
bro i swear my litter docs get longer and longer each time… i'm so sorry for how long this is and i hope it wasn't too much to read and absorb!! cradle is a character with a lot of active lore and important connections so i felt it would be better to be extra informative than vague, as to aid in all your applications!

without further ado, i hope you have a pleasant read!




───── ⟢ who is cradlecherish?

⭒ identity: cismale, amab, he/him.
⭒ allegiance: shadowclan warrior
⭒ description: a dusky-grey and black tabby with rose-gold eyes and long, intricate braids that hide sun catchers.
⭒ preferred honorifics: father, dad, baba

general
cradlecherish has always been a moon masquerading as the sun. a boy desperate to be something more beautiful than he is, someone deserving of the love he receives, unable to see who he is as anything remotely acceptable compared to who he wants to be. he loves like the sun. his affection is warm, unconditional, and reliable, but also blinding, intense, and overwhelming. “i’ll either envelop you or consume you whole.” at his core, cradle loves everyone but himself. in practice, until recently, he presented himself as an eloquent, charming, and optimistic individual, confident and righteous and just the exact person anyone would envy because of how good he seems. not that he isn't necessarily a good cat; his kindness is genuine, and his endless devotion extends to all within his circle, but sometimes your worst critic is yourself. he walks like a deer, graceful and steady, with a confidence that hides the way his tense shoulders spell out a different story— the story of a delicate fawn who doubts the world’s sincerity and whether he has a place within it. despite being quite sociable, he never felt comfortable in his own skin, living by a ‘fake it till you make it’ mantra.

he is a poet, one who romanticizes everything and wants to be loved for being someone who deserves love, not simply because it's given out freely. in a twist of irony, he loves freely in the way his mind doesn't accept from others, unable to comprehend when it is freely given back to him. he's needy and clingy and desperate, needing to feel like he deserves something to be able to truly accept it. at his core, all he wants is to feel good about himself. he hates who he is (represented by the moon, which cannot give off its own light but is isolated in the sky for all to see anyway). with every mistake and misspoken word, a wave of disappointment and self-loathing weaves through him like a needle stabbing holes into his heart, minuscule but bleeding nonetheless. he constantly played himself like a puppet on strings, both the master and the doll at the same time. so he clung to this perfect version of himself instead— the kind of person he would revere as a god if it were anyone else, someone who has everything he wants to be (represented by the sun, which is essential to life itself). there is no life without the sun, and if he could meet every unrealistic wish and standard he has for himself one day, there would equally be no life for those he loves without him.

post-character arc
though, with recent events, cradle has since lost the failsafe he had carefully curated since kithood, the meticulously crafted mask of pure sunlight he wore to please everyone in hopes of meeting his own unrealistic expectations. mellowed out, hollowed out, the exuberant warrior has dimmed and grown quieter; his once-flowery language and meticulous self-preservation now fail him as a period of isolation finally stripped the actor down to his barest self. to the common observer, cradle is no longer the same cat he once was. but he knows he is the same as he has always been; the act has simply dropped, and the moon finally accepts his own imperfection. he might not be happy with it, he might still loathe himself for all he is, but no longer does his sunshine facade continue to suffocate him without solving anything. and slowly, maybe, the moon will stop looking to the stars and sun for validation, and learn to appreciate his own beauty.

here is some additional information on his personality, though please keep in mind that everything written in there was before his aforementioned character arc.



───── ⟢ backstory

at twenty-five moons, cradlecherish's already deteriorating rose-tinted reality cracked under the strain of his family's secrets and his fracturing perception of himself. when his sister disappeared soon after he let secrets slip, he followed, unable to face their mother all alone while desperately trying to cling to the last pieces of certainty in his life he thought he would be allowed to keep.

for over twenty moons subsequently, cradle wandered the world alone, his head too loud to be able to handle the thought of “home”. but eventually, his insecurity-fuelled self-isolation was disrupted by a stranger entering his life.

her name was apricity. resourceful, energetic, and persistent, she was a young loner who lived on the outskirts of clan territory. from the day they encountered each other on accident, no matter how hard cradle had tried to avoid her in order to wallow in his self-loathing in peace, she always seemed to find him again. like she knew, even without him wanting her to, that this was a boy who didn't realize he needed someone. soon enough, being the people-pleasing cat he is, cradle relented, and they became friends.

apricity was the only form of social interaction cradle allowed himself during his time away from the clans and he cared for her dearly… but this isn't another love story. cradle was running from too much to think about that, and apricity had her own apprehensions towards romance, so they were close friends and nothing more. his time with apricity was precious, and slowly but surely… cradle's racing anxieties learned how to be quieter, and his head finally found peace. enough peace, in fact, to be able to consider the idea of going home again, and not instantly wanting to run away even farther. so eventually, after finally accepting his sister's disappearance and a bittersweet reconciliation with his mother, he leaves apricity's side to return home to shadowclan, though they remained in close contact.


as close friends, naturally, when apricity decided she wanted the fulfillment of raising children of her own, cradle was asked to become her surrogate, to which he agreed! his best friend was happy, his own mind was learning to be kinder to him, and he was even beginning to reconnect with his old life.

but of course, good things never last. apricity dies during childbirth, and cradle arrives just in time, thinking he'll get to congratulate her and meet her children, only to find a corpse and three newborn kits struggling to nurse. even if they weren't technically his, they were apricity's. he could never leave them.



───── ⟢ symbolism

lost love, lost hope, lost chances.
each child represents a lost fragment of cradle's past that he has come to make peace with.

frosted, veiled, misted

their names are in past tense— a symbol of everything he wishes to let go.

yet he calls them frost, veil, and mist. present tense. it's hard to let go of the past.
but through them, slowly but surely, perhaps he can learn to live with love once more.


FROSTEDKIT
{ for as long as the frost
returns every winter
i will always love you }

⭒ named for gelidchaser, frostedkit represents cradle's heart.

his first friend, his first love, his first everything, gelidchaser is the star to his weeping moon, yet cradle's once all-consuming love for him was a terrible, destructive thing that suffocated him silently. it had never been gelid's fault— it was cradle, it had always been cradle. he was the one who turned something as beautiful as his own love for someone dear to him into something that hurt himself more than it was worth. that painful weight on his chest slowly lessened as he matured in his lonely time away from the clans (see backstory), growing from a bleeding wound into nothing more than a quiet bruise that will heal but never completely disappear. after all, once you love someone, that love will never truly cease. and true to form, what feelings cradlecherish learned to ignore will never fully fade.

cradle will always be a boy who loves. but he no longer wishes to cling to past loves. now, that love goes to his children, his saving grace, his present and future. he loves them dearly, so dearly, and he wants them to know that no matter what happens, he will always be there, and always love them. cradle's love has always been an unconditional thing, a gift he gives even without the certainty of receiving. so his children will eternally have that safety net to fall back on— that their father will always love them. there is no possibility, no world, where he will ever stop.

frostedkit is gifted a snowdrop crown, matching the snowdrops her father keeps for the bittersweet memory of his former best friend and first love. once upon a time, gelid placed a single snowdrop in cradle's hair, and while all flowers wilt eventually, the memory of it has been preserved ever since. to him, snowdrops represent the feeling of loving someone. today, these little blooms remain scattered in his hair, in his tail, each one replaced the moment it wilts as he drowns what he no longer wishes to feel with the monotonous routine, and he gifts the very same flower to his little daughter in hopes she will never be afraid of loving the world and everything in it.


VEILEDKIT
{ veil you from their lies
cloak you with my love
my shadowed sunlight }

⭒ named for blockedsun, veiledkit represents cradle's mind.

the brother he never got to know before the lies their lives were structured by consumed them whole, he was abandoned and cast aside by their mother before his existence was ever fully able to cement itself into cradlecherish's memory. it wasn't until moons later, after the world finally feels right, that cradlepaw meets a mysterious blockedpaw who is equally clueless to the intertwined lies of their shared past. and when he learns of his family secret, cradle's perfect illusion of a life fractured, and he was left desperately picking up the pieces of himself and his trust until it grew too heavy a burden to stay silent about it. cradlecherish used to believe in good lies, that lying for the benefit of himself and others is good. until secrets fractured his family, and subsequently, his already turbulent view of himself.

the world can be cruel and unforgiving, cradle acknowledges that. he does not wish to coddle his children, or teach them to have a rose-tinted view of life. but despite reality, he hopes to raise them with the mindset that, despite the world's shortcomings and failures, their lives are something fragile and beautiful. he wants them to learn to make their own judgements, to be able to see and believe in the existence of kindness and good intentions, and find what they can trust as their own truths.

veiledkit is gifted a crown of snapdragons, a flower cradle associates with the stability of family. back before his reality began to fracture, cradlecherish's life consisted of many truths. ferrymare is his mother. weepingswan is his sister. ferrymare loves them both. ferrymare loves snapdragons. they were his mother's favourite flower, and much of his childhood was spent looking for them to weave into something beautiful for his mama. thus, to him, snapdragons represent the feeling of being loved by someone, and he gifts the very same flower to his dear son in hopes that nothing will ever make him stop feeling loved, too.


MISTEDKIT
{ make me misty-eyed
by dancing and dreaming
like she never could }

⭒ named for weepingswan, mistedkit represents cradle's soul.

the sister whose fragile light was the centre of his world. for whom, no matter how hard he tried, the world he created in the space between them never seemed to be enough to replace the real one that forgot to make space for her. from the day he was born, cradlecherish had been one half of a whole. he has never known a world without weepingswan, yet that very same world shunned his sister from the moment they came into it. when they were younger, his beloved wynn was afflicted with illness, leaving her chronically ill and too weak to run and play like he could. as a result, cradlecherish learned responsibility early, tending to his sister and learning to reflect her beautiful sunlight that she couldn't comprehend from herself so she could still feel loved. despite being the moon, cradle became the light he was never meant to be, and he came to covet it dearly. his world revolved around his sun, just as her life depended on him.

cradle wishes for his children to never feel out of place like she did. they will always have a place to belong in this world, even if they need his, or anyone else's, help finding it. everyone has purpose, everyone has opportunities, and no one will take the same steps or have the same story to tell. even when the path ahead seems murky or uncertain, their father will do everything in his ability to support them through the rollercoaster of life.

mistedkit is gifted a jellyfish charm, a worn but well-loved item that once belonged to weepingswan. when she left, she left cradle the token of love their mother gave her when they were born, and cradlecherish has held onto this remnant of his mother and sister ever since. made of ribbons and soft material, the jellyfish is a trinket made to comfort. to him, the jellyfish represents hope in abundance, that dreams do come true and that, in darkness, there will always be some fragment of light to believe in. he still looks at it fondly sometimes, even after it's been given to mistedkit, reminiscing of a world he still misses. there's a reason miss and mist sound so similar. when he looks at mistedkit, he sees the precious moments in time he lost along the way, a beautiful whole made from the fragments of memories in cradle's life.



───── ⟢ parenting

for a first-time parent, cradle has more experience caring for someone than most, as he's able to draw from when he used to be the primary caretaker of his sickly sister, weepingswan. due to their circumstances, he was incredibly involved in her life to the point of being almost codependent, where her life depended on him and his life revolved around her. as a result, cradle doesn't know how to love from afar, and the line between the kits being his children and being their own people will be blurred. as mentioned earlier, his love is like the sun, a star necessary for the fundamentals of life on earth. yet it is important to remember that too much of something good can become a bad thing.

he's an anxious parent who struggles with always needing to know how his children are doing, what they are thinking, and what is going on in their lives. while not necessarily overbearing in a controlling sense, as he isn't strict or controlling and encourages them to make their own judgements in life, he can be viewed as slightly so due to how he is terrified of no longer being an important part of their lives, of no longer being needed by them as they get older. even if the kits eventually wish to have their lives kept private from their father's eyes, he remains overperceptive and nosy, noticing immediately when things seem off and trying his best to keep track of everything that happens in their lives, even if his children meant for something to stay private. he will also struggle seeing them as adults when they're older. one day, they'll all be big and strong, no longer needing him anymore, and it scares him. however, with goathearth (see below), who will be more easy-going and relaxed, acting as a secondary parental figure to the kids will counter the negatives in cradle's parenting and both keep him from overstepping constantly and calm him down a bit with worrying about the kids.

cradle adores his children with all his heart. he wants the world for them, and he tries to make sure they know it almost every single day. he is devoted to helping them live good lives and fulfill their dreams, though he will not blindly feed unrealistic or dangerous delusions, nor spoil them needlessly. both observant and perceptive, he makes sure to pay attention and notice even the littlest things about his children— what they feel and think, how they feel and think, their subconscious habits, their favourite things. he wants them to feel seen and know they are loved, which he expresses through tending to their needs and setting aside as much time in his day for them as possible to share stories, play games, or even just sit and talk until they fall asleep, so he may touch the top of their heads with his nose before bringing them to their nest.

above all, he never wants his children to feel as uncertain and insecure as he once did, and he will always try to affirm them as often as possible and as much as they need. it is important to note that cradlecherish is not a parent who will ever pick favourites. even if his mother hadn't done it on purpose, his childhood was tainted by the effects of favouritism, and he will never want to subject his own children to anything similar. although there are things that may disappoint him as a parent if his children ever do them (most notably abandoning loved ones), he will never see any of them unfavourably. his love for them is like apricity— the gentle warmth of the sun, a beacon of hope, in the frigid chill of wintertime. even on their darkest days when they may feel cold and alone, their father will always be there for them.

bonus: cradle believes in starclan and will raise the kits on clan-born religion, but feel free to do something fun with that as well!



───── ⟢ ongoing lore

note from lyney:
i highly encourage you to ask for jrps! though please be respectful and remember that none of these roleplayers are obligated to jrp with you!


FERRYMARE - shadowclan (@xkempuii)
cradlecherish's mother. she cared deeply for her children, striving to become a better parent than her father was to her. however, wounds that scar run deep, and so each of her three children met slightly different fates. when one child, blockedkit, was too reminiscent of her own father, ferrymare chose to give him away to her brother to raise, leaving herself with two kits in shadowclan. the two, weepingkit and cradlekit, were both deeply loved by ferry, but she instinctively favoured her sickly daughter over her son. this, of course, was not actively noticeable to either child, but it hung over their beautiful family like a dark cloud.

cradle's childhood was filled with soft moments and warm memories, however his rose-tinted image of his family and mother came crashing down when he discovered the existence of his abandoned brother. the horrific secret ate at him, shattering his view of ferrymare, as well as making him unnaturally distant with the sister he once did everything with. eventually, the secret was too much to keep inside, and it overflowed when he revealed it to weepingswan one day, sharing the burden. while it comforted him momentarily, no longer needing to keep it to himself, little did he know that it would tip his sister over an edge he wasn't aware of, until she disappeared without a word entirely. her disappearance made the remaining family dynamic more tense than it has ever been, sparking a brief confrontation between cradlecherish and ferrymare. while this interaction wasn't hostile, some things were never going to be the same again, and ferrymare was left alone in shadowclan when her remaining son disappeared to chase after his runaway sister.

twenty or so moons of radio silence later, when cradlecherish finally felt safe enough to come home, he had a tense but tearful reunion with his mother, acknowledging her countless mistakes and regrets, while also understanding how much she did truly loved them all. he returned to shadowclan soon after, hoping to make up for lost time with her. when the kits come, (even if irp threads aren't able to be synchronized) ferrymare will be an active grandparent, braiding their fur just as she once did for cradle, and smothering them with all the love and affection she had kept in her heart while awaiting the day her children would come home.


GELIDCHASER - shadowclan (@angelofstxrs)
cradlecherish's childhood best friend and first love, gelidchaser was, essentially, the light of his life. as gelid met him early on and cared for him dearly even before the framework of his rose-tinted persona was established, cradle developed an almost unhealthy devotion to the constant of gelid's affection in his life, placing it above practically everything, even his own relationship when he gets a girlfriend. eventually, as all unhealthy dependencies do, other aspects of cradle's life begin to deteriorate because of it, and piling that on with his family issues, cradle runs from everything and isolates himself. during his isolation, he finally settles on accepting that gelid will never love him back in the way he wanted, and that he should simply forget what he felt for him. the memories hurt at first, but eventually, they dull enough for cradle to be able to start believing it.

little does he know, gelid had been oblivious to his own dormant feelings for cradle all this time, his romantic feelings hidden under his fondness for him as a friend. it wasn't until cradle disappeared and gelid was left truly without him for the first time in his life that he realized how much he needed him. dealing with his own issues during this time, (cw: favourite flower and why) the dam breaks the moment he sees cradle again after his return— and soon, the status quo has been flipped entirely, going from cradle pining after an oblivious gelid in their youth, to now the opposite, each not at all aware of each other's past or current feelings for the other.

when cradle returns, he's… not quite the same. quieter, mellower, like something in him died out there. this version of cradlecherish, one gelid has never truly experienced before, becomes a subject of basically obsession, as gelid develops the belief that his life was incomplete without cradle, and now that he's back, must keep him in his life somehow even if he never voices his feelings for him. eventually, cradle brings biological kits back to shadowclan and, although shocked and jealous for the first few moments, knowing his cradle had children with someone, later gains a fixation on the kits when he realizes one of them is named for him (frostedkit). the child becomes a representation of cradle's love for him in his eyes, essentially proof that he still loved him in some way after all, and he does what he can to ensure he is a part of this child and her littermates' lives.


COCOONMOTH - skyclan, missing/deceased (@-briightnights)
a halcyon memory, cocoonmoth was a beautiful chapter in cradle's life. soft friendship in the snow had cocoon helping cradle learn to slow down while cradle helped cocoon warm up, and at some point, the lines between friendship and romance blurred. cradle loved cocoon with all his heart, but if you recall, he was also struggling with everything he felt for gelid at the same time, so the relationship began with a bucketload of guilt, knowing, in a way, he was lying to her. however, cocoon is perceptive and, despite adoring cradle so much, she could tell that he didn't have his whole heart in their relationship and eventually chose to be the bigger person and end things with him herself. the loss of this relationship, as well as the loss of cocoonmoth altogether when she subsequently disappeared into the snow they once met in, was the moment of clarity for cradle and when he realized that loving gelid had steadily, without him even noticing, become a form of self-destruction.


GOATHEARTH - thunderclan (@I0VEBUG)
in cradle's world of murky uncertainty, goathearth is his light in the distance, the only thing that still feels like warmth and safety. they met as apprentices, a bard and a poet, sharing rhymes and lyrics as they spun story after story, song after song, in their moments together. they were each other's escape from reality, their creative outlet, and it stayed that way for some time— a dynamic where a sun from thunderclan and a sun from shadowclan came together to exchange their light and blind the world with it.

they never noticed it, and they don't realize it yet either, but they truly were smitten with each other. admiration became fondness, and that became something softer, more honest. goat fell in love with cradle's laughter, his brilliant mind, the way every word he offers challenges goat right back, and cradle fell in love with goat's imagination, his golden heart, and the way he can make him feel all warm with just a smile.

then, they grew up, goat gained responsibilities, and cradle disappeared. when goat saw him again, his poet was… a different person, his light dimmed, silenced, perhaps discarded altogether. a star beginning to burn out, yet goathearth could still see the wavering light that remained under all that shadow. so he took it upon himself to nurture the light in cradle back to life again, one little joke, smile, and laugh at a time. when the kits arrive in thunderclan, goathearth will welcome them with as much warmth as he does their father, taking them under his wing and treating them as if they were his as well. around this time, goathearth's own kids should also be around the same age, so they may get to grow up together! (honorary stepfather…. the two sets of stepsiblings can sit together and giggle while watching their dads obliviously fumble in their relationship)


TEMPESTFALL - thunderclan (@-eri_rxin-)
goathearth's best friend, tempestfall has never met a cat she hated more than cradlecherish. before even meeting him, tempest had developed a grudge against his name when she was forced to listen to someone she liked gushing about him, and meeting him and what she perceived as his flowery, rose-tinted two-facedness cemented that. over time, this petty dislike grew into full-blown hatred— an ironic reality considering how much they are two sides of the same coin of outward versus inward self-loathing.

she despises him, and he's scared of her, yet, there is an unspoken feeling of mutual pity that hangs between them like a stain, unacknowledged but impossible to ignore. they recognize themselves in each other, and it makes them uncomfortable to no end. no interaction between them will ever go well. tempestfall will always attack, and cradlecherish will always retreat. how long until he's backed against a wall, and can run no longer?

tempestfall will be devastated and enraged when cradle and his kits come to shadowclan. even though she has been repeatedly beat down and betrayed by thunderclan, she still viewed it as “home”, as the only thing she had that would remain constant. now, it was being infiltrated by him, like he thought he had any right to be welcomed into her clan, and somehow belong in it more than she does. she feels betrayed by goathearth and positively livid towards cradle, meaning she likely will not treat his children much kinder.


FUTURE
as you all know, cradle and his kits will be moving to thunderclan shortly before the children become apprentices! around this time, their grandmother will have canonically passed away peacefully, having reunited and reconciled with her remaining son, as well as spent time with her beloved grandchildren. with ferrymare no longer a part of shadowclan, cradlecherish begins to feel uncomfortable in shadowclan once again. too many secrets, too many memories. he had returned to this clan for his mother, but now that she's gone?

after expressing his feelings on his former home to goathearth, thunderclan's second-in-command promptly invites his friend to his home with warm smiles and open arms. comparing it to the sinking feeling shadowclan gives him, goathearth's invitation is like a beacon of light to cradle, who accepts it happily after some consideration. even if… certain cats (tempestfall)… also live in thunderclan, maybe it'd be alright as long as goathearth was there!

of course, not wanting to abandon his children recklessly, he arranges for them all to move to thunderclan together as a family. however, upon learning of cradlecherish's plan to leave (once again) and unwilling to lose cradle again so soon, gelidchaser uproots his own life impulsively to tag along, bringing to thunderclan a total of five shadowclan cats!


─── ⟢ ☾ ‧₊

─── ❝ for as long as i breathe
you will never be unloved by me ❞

good luck on your applications!
return to the litter project here.