n. THE MORTAL STATE⋆ ˚ ꩜ ｡ ⋆

— fragile ; ephemeral ; suffocating
— useless ; short ; meaningless
— beautiful. incomprehensible. delicate.

FEAR OF LOSS
A VIVID APPLICATION

──────── ⋆.˚ ★ ꒰ ୭ ꒱ ❞ ── ─ -

the narrator.
❝ some are left in the shadows of glory. ❞

NULL || she / her
. . . artist ; writer ; tennis player
. . laufey ,, beabadoobee ,, illit
. applying for the loveliest vividkit

—– i used to be on scratch a ton but stopped for a while for personal reasons. i'm new to tfcrp and would love to join in.

──────── ⋆.˚ ★ ꒰ ୭ ꒱ ❞ ── ─ -

heart of the storm.
❝ who am i if not a saint. . ? ❞

IDENTITY
@ ) kithood . . . cisgender female ;; she / her / hers
( # apprenticeship . . . agender ;; it / its / their
& ) warriorhood . . . gendernull ;; it / them / divine's

ORIENTATION
@ ) kithood . . . aroace / unlabelled
( # apprenticeship . . . orchidromantic ,, asexual
& ) warriorhood . . . demiromantic ,, asexual

──────── ⋆.˚ ★ ꒰ ୭ ꒱ ❞ ── ─ -

the prophet.
❝ i stand on the shoulders of giants. ❞

the vessel
—– vividkit is merely the vessel of a higher-up. it serves only the purpose of guiding the other lost souls towards a brighter, more splendid future. its body is not its own, but it serves the purpose of a cat. her sole purpose is to remain alive so that the goddess from higher up has somecat to speak through. her movements are fluid and graceful and she has no fear of injury, mainly death. when not speaking for the goddess, it tends to speak normally, its words poetic and silky. it is a master of the art of poetry and ballads, though it prefers not to paint nor dance. it believes painting is important, yes, but it believes that its goddess is of higher value.
this is not vividkit disregarding herself, it is it putting its goddess before the life of a simple cat. it cherishes all the life around it, and would never harm it, lest the goddess herself commanded so.
nevertheless, vividkit is a saint, a prophet, a vessel for her goddess. there are moments when this serene facade cracks and the goddess presents herself. vivid is still there, just… in a separate room. it still sees the goddess challenge for it, and its not sure why, but it's almost comforting knowing that somebody, even if they aren't there all the time, is looking out for it.

the goddess
—– whoever this is, it is not vividkit. it's something that lives inside of it, waiting quietly and patiently. it is not a separate entity, nor the same cat. it's something that chose vividkit as its vessel. this “goddess,” as vividkit came to name her, is the personification of her fears and regrets, come whole as one. she does not command, she guides, and that somehow makes vividkit believe her to be a far greater spirit. the goddess is a part of vividkit, the part where the bad things and the horrible thoughts go to rest. she does not control vividkit, but she can come out whenever vividkit so chooses.
this “goddess” will speak to her, and will smile along with vividkit. they are one in the same and as vividkit matures, so does this part of her. she speaks in riddles and is shrouded in mystery, the circumstances that surround her are unknown.
however, greatness often comes at a price. in exchange for holding all of vivid's fears, the goddess will sometimes whisper lies and regrets into vivid. not in a malicious or cruel way, but merely as a form of reminding it that if she ever were to leave, it would have to carry its fears all alone. there would be nobody else. the goddess “living” inside of vividkit is not a beast. she is not a monster. she is a dealer in the fates and is the version of vividkit she would rather not show to the world. the deimos of vividkit, so to speak.

the prophet
—– body and soul as one, this is the truest form of vividkit. this is the part of it where it is at peace with the goddess, neither warring nor sailing a dark and stormy path. vividkit is often speaking in half-riddles and white lies; most often speaking as if it were a poet. a poet of the gods. it wanders quietly, eyes wide and in an almost trance-like state. though vividkit can often be seen smiling half-heartedly during this time, it's actually when it is most in tune with the coming and goings of nature, every sound amplified and every motion captured.
in this state, however, vivid is also at its most aggressive, as this is usually when the goddess is the most fragile, and when the walls of mystery that usually shroud vividkit are the thinnest. it does this as a self defense mechanism, for fear of hurting the vessel or the goddess within.
one should tread with caution, but if used properly, vivid can be cozened into spilling secrets that it would rather not expose. some things are better left undiscussed, and vividkit prefers to keep it this way as well. the goddess will often be hidden deep down in vivid when these secrets are most primed for exploding out, and so vivid becomes more antisocial and irritable during this time as well.

( + ) poetic , elegant , thought - out , emotionally in tune , devoted # ,, 5
( = ) angelic , graceful , maintains optionality , virtuous , protective , defensive # ,, 6
( – ) distant , cold , double - dealing , two faced , shut - off # ,, 5

──────── ⋆.˚ ★ ꒰ ୭ ꒱ ❞ ── ─ -

her visions of grandeur.
❝ everything falls in place in time. ❞

꒰ views on life / death ꒱
—– life is ephemeral. short. something that should be held carefully and not taken lightly. vividkit holds flowers close to it in this sense, viewing them as the pinnacle of creation and evolution. delicate, short-lasting, beautiful. they come in different varieties but all strive for the same end goal. the next of their line to succeed them. there is no malicious intent, no ideas and doubts. just pure, simple thoughts and ideas.
death is something that comes, but not for some. vividkit sees death as a waste. something that shouldn't exist. if the point of living was to live, why would the gods create something that takes away from this purpose. it lives in the shadows, wasting away at everyone. nobody wants to grow and age, so what is the purpose of not finding a way to live. vividkit thinks this way, and does not understand why some live their short life with this looming thought in their heads, instead of either finding a way to live forever, or living life as fully as possible?
all in all, the cycle of life and death is a strange idea and vividkit could do far better without the idea of leaving the world behind. in fact, its greatest fear is the idea of death and having its goddess lose her vessel. vividkit is determined to understand the reason behind death and learn more on how to prolong — even banish — the concept of death.

꒰ views on mortality ꒱
—– what is the point of living if death comes to claim us? that thought has stayed present with vividkit for quite some time. despite that, she knows that death is coming for it in due time, and in that time, it will do its best to understand what comes after the loss of a life. the idea of death and the after live have led it to question quite a few things that circle its life.

. . . # 1 ) why did the higher-ups create us if they knew we would never last?
— did the gods only create cats and life just so that they could take it away from them? is it reasonable to wish so deeply upon a star that life continues after death? did the goddess and her accomplices create the fields of the afterlife to mock the dead cats, who can see the living from their perch but never interact? is that the purpose of this haven that they called starclan?

. . . # 2 ) is starclan really a haven, or is it a prison?
— the concept of starclan is cruel. to have mothers and fathers and siblings watch their family rot inevitably, to watch them smile until they're on their last breaths, begging for reprieve. the concept may have begun as a haven, but over time, corruption may have sunk its bitter fangs into starclan as poison runs through a river. it spreaded like a disease, leaving the cats who had once viewed this place as a heaven as a prison, never able to leave or interact with their family until the day that they join them in the glorified cage that is starclan.

꒰ dynamic ideas ꒱

—– the poet and the muse — a classic. the story of a goddess's vessel being the subject of another, rather than the poet themselves. vividkit loves the idea of being the muse to another, sparking something that wasn't there before, being the inspiration rather than the inspired. the goddess whispers things into her ears and makes vivid see what she sees, but for once vivid would love to be the one whispering. the one smiling through it all and the one who teaches someone else what a divine revelation is like.

—– leader and the disciple — vividkit wants to know what it could be like to share the teachings of her goddess. she found another cat who is just as devoted to a goddess as it is to its own. they teach each other the ideas of their gods and learn. vivid could lead them into her goddess's beliefs and show them the light that they have been missing this whole time. it's not as if it is in disregard for the other's beliefs, but it does want to share the blessing of its goddess with another.

──────── ⋆.˚ ★ ꒰ ୭ ꒱ ❞ ── ─ -

the god's proclomations.
❝ a prophet is the messenger of the gods. ❞

please note that vivid exclusively self roleplays in poetry.
this is used to represent her character in a truer way.

self roleplay || vividpaw ,, ten moons + it / its / their

the goddess spoke to me yesterday.
she said that i was meant….
for greatness.
this leaves me to wonder
if she was speaking the truth.
is the truth painful?
do i want to know…
the reality of my situation?

nobody understands it.
nobody understands my greatness.
the destiny in my paws
and my paws alone.
something waiting for me to shape it.

the song of the birds is back.
they were gone for so long.
they go about their lives
unknowing
weak
innocent
blissful.
. . .

i wish that the stars didn't choose me.
but they did.
and they promised me something,
that i could learn the secret
to living forever
and bring my kin with me.

would they even want such a thing
or is the goddess lying
or am i the fool here?

there are no fools.
there are only gods
and mortals.

i am no mortal.
prophets are not mortals.
we stand on a plane
far
far
far
above the rest.


dynamic ideas
research (if applicable)
trivia
other
codeword