ABOUT ME
• hi, my name is rue (he/him)! i'm 17, soon to be 18, and i enjoy just about anything creative. i'm an artist, musician, and writer, and i've been around scratch for about 3 years now! which is super weird to think about time really flies.. also in advance i wanna acknowledge that while i used to put a lot more effort into making applications look pretty the reason that's absent here is not due to any lack of caring, i just find that working with a fancy template tends to make it difficult for me to concisely convey my ideas.

ACTIVITY & CURRENT CHARACTERS
• my activity's gradually ramping up i'd say? i took a long break but this litter's a good part of the reason why i'm trying to reintegrate myself into tfc, along with my current character ninetails. they're a 23 moon old warrior in riverclan that i have a lot of ideas for and i'm excited to hopefully get that ball rolling as well with me coming back!

KIT I'M APPLYING FOR
• after a lot of indecision. as you saw LOL. i'm applying for sereinkit! i have a couple reasons why i've decided to apply, the first of which being the related characters and roleplayers. this is such a perfect opportunity to get to plot with people i haven't had the chance to much before as well as get to know more about characters i've heard about but haven't written with. my other reasons are of course, the pretty designs, and the plot that's attached to them! i love angsty convoluted tragic family dynamics you best believe i want in on this level of that

LONER INTEREST
• yes, i'd be interested, though i might have a small obstacle to make it work! my current character also has a plot lined up at some point where they will become a loner, although it is not time-sensitive and i have plenty of flexibility with what comes when, exact circumstances, etc. whatever the case or decision may be, i can accommodate!

IDENTITY
• though of course subject to change if i were to win, as of right now i would see myself keeping sereinkit female or otherwise fem-aligned. for orientation, i imagine her as lesbian and perhaps demiromantic!

PERSONALITY

always second in a game between two, the moon shines only by the sun's light. easily forgotten, never preferred, but just as beautiful. a black pearl – she could only be resilient, forged into a gem of quiet strength, or fracture under the pressure.. so truly, sereinkit only ever had one option. despite her perpetual inferiority to her sister, the first and most defining characteristic of sereinkit is perhaps how much she truly doesn't mind her status.

sereinkit is content to never have her moment in the spotlight. she's naturally a quieter type, and being adopted at such a young age, she grows quickly accustomed to the difference in treatment between herself and saccharinekit. at first, it stings – she's only a child, after all, and it's only natural to wish to at least be acknowledged. but when the initial wound begins to scar over, and the pain numbs and subsides, sereinkit quickly understands and falls into the role (or lack thereof) that whimsydove has delegated to her. truly, she's happy to remain in the background of windclan and whimsydove's life. having hardly been given a reason to care for her clan, she doesn't put much importance on being a particularly upstanding member of it.

if she could, sereinkit would leave it all behind without looking back once, but she knows she can't – for no reason other than one cat. one little saccharinekit, the only true kin she has, her dearest sister whose heart her own is tethered tightly to. her heart and spirit belong to the wind and seas, free to roam, but sereinkit's wings will remained clipped and she will stay stuck in windclan unless they will soar together.

more than anything, sereinkit only wants others to be happy. of course, first and foremost, this will always be directed towards her sister – exclusively at first, even, but anyone who manages to slip through the cracks in her disinterested outlook will find themselves with an incredibly tight-knit friend. sereinkit knows the value of a bond that's true and strong, and she won't let it go easily. she's deeply supportive, a natural trait that will only be amplified by her upbringing. her support is given regardless of if she gets anything in return. sereinkit doesn't attribute much value to having credits, accomplishments, or praise to her name. she would rather watch someone she loves succeed with her help never being made public than to share glory, almost defiantly so, another firm sentiment that can be traced back to her childhood.

as much as sereinkit likes to paint herself, both in the mind of herself and others, as an independent and self-sufficient cat, deep down she has incredibly dependent tendencies. she's withdrawn, slow to trust and afraid of being abandoned, so the few who win over her friendship will often find her relying heavily on them and their opinion of her to keep herself stable. sereinkit isn't conscious of this ingrained mindset, and is quick to grow uneasy when she feels as though one of the few things she can call her own – a friend, a home, etc. – seems to be at risk of slipping away. she's protective, almost to a fault, putting up defenses and leaping to conclusions before any threat can even be confirmed. undoubtedly, her paranoia plays a large part in this behavior. sereinkit hesitates around anything that seems too good to be true. she is someone who will develop in an environment where she's always getting the short end of the stick, learning to expect disappointment and prepare for the worst – she can't help but be wary when fortune finds its way to her.

paranoia leads to uncertainty, and uncertainty to loose ends she'll never get to explore. sereinkit commonly has bouts of self-doubt, struggling to trust her own judgement or intentions, turning down what's good for her out of fear of making things worse. the regret always seeps in later, countless memories and paths left untouched that sereinkit can't help but wonder how things might've been different. her past is always lingering in her peripherals, creating endless possibilities in her dreams, and covering her future in a thick haze. she's all too easily a victim to nostalgia, always making her feel a few steps behind everyone else.

+ humble. cool-headed. supportive.
= protective. dependent. withdrawn.
- paranoid. ruminative. self-doubting.

LONGEVITY
• sereinkit is a character i would foresee myself keeping for a while, to 70 moons at the very least. i have a lot of ideas for her both in the earlier and later stages of life, and as far as i know i'm in a good position irl to keep engaged in and active with her character. at least by my own judgement, my track record for longevity is relatively good, especially with applied-for character (the only exception being due to extraneous circumstances that the host approved of).

ROLEPLAY EXAMPLES

A full moon, and a light shower of rain, tapping softly on the top of the den. Only a fraction of the sound projected through to the inside where Sereinpaw lay awake, the droning, steady sound laying down an endless track for her thoughts to run down. Just like the rain, she always ended up here. No matter how good she might've been feeling an hour ago, one way or another, Sereinpaw would trickle down to the gutter. Escaping was an impossible task, but a taunting one, that even she could believe time and time again she might come close to.

She let out a quiet but deep sigh from the soul, conscious of the others – including Saccharinepaw – sleeping around her. She tried so hard. Why was nobody ever conscious of her? That gross feeling of resentment began to rise, as it always did when Sereinpaw was alone with her thoughts, and even despite her feeling no love towards Whimsydove she still tried to swallow it back down. It was an ugly thing to feel. She didn't like the idea of stooping down to Whimsydove's kind of behavior. Not when it came at the cost of affecting Saccharinepaw. Her sister.. in a sudden fit of panic, Sereinpaw nearly slammed her paws into her shut eyes, squeezing them as tightly as she could – as if it could make the worst thoughts go away. It wasn't the first time she'd wondered what life would be like had she been Whimsydove's golden child. If she had gone out that day instead of Saccharinepaw.

Would she care as much as she did? Would she have forgotten all about Saccharinepaw? It seemed impossible, but Sereinpaw was all too afraid of what she didn't – what she couldn't – know. It wouldn't matter, wouldn't be worth worrying so horribly over, if not for what it would make her now.

Do you really want the best for her? Or are you jealous? Would she really be happier, if it were only you two..? Perhaps it's not about her at all.. perhaps, you can't stand that you're not part of their perfect family. You would rather subject her to a flawed, helpless one with you, than see her be happy without you.

The pressure on her eyes lessened as she slowly, shakily, drew her paws away. Sereinpaw's head ached, and it took far too much effort to slowly open her eyes again. The world was blurry, her face hot and cheeks wet. She hadn't realized it until now, but her breathing had become erratic, shuddering with every rapid inhale. It felt like hours that she sat there in her nest, fur ruffled from tossing and turning, staring out at the peacefully sleeping figures of her peers. She was falling apart in silence. In stopped time. When Sereinpaw finally managed to piece together her common sense once again, her gaze swept anxiously over to Saccharinepaw. Still. Quiet. Sweet.

She leaned down next to her, opened her mouth ever so slightly to whisper something, then hesitated. No words could speak what she wanted to tell her. Sereinpaw instead lay down slowly, trembling, onto her side, facing away from her sister – only the slightly warm sensation of their backs touching to remind her Saccharinepaw was still there.

• with saccharinepaw (@sweetnectar–) / https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1367241842/#comments-563024121
• joint link here

EXTRA
• sereinkit's relationship with whimsydove is, inevitably, complicated. though her general attitude towards most of the clan is indifferent, maybe occasionally leaning positive, she harbors a quiet but festering distaste for her adopted mother.. which sereinkit only calls her as a technicality. even her hatred, however, is not without its nuances. for as much as she feels that whimsydove manufactured a huge rift between herself and saccharinekit and blames her for any growing distance between them, sereinkit also will recognize if saccharinekit seems happier with whimsydove's attention, praise, etc. it's because of this that sereinkit will never voice how much she dislikes her, but if whimsydove were ever to catch her eye, it could all be conveyed in a single moment of contact. thank you, for making her happy. but i will never forgive you for leaving me without her.

• saccharinekit is, with little exaggeration, the center of sereinkit's world. before windclan and before whimsydove, all they had was one another, and while saccharinekit will go on to have so much more, sereinkit will always consider their bond the first, and for many moons the only, thing she could ever call her own. she's deathly afraid to lose saccharinekit, but at the same time wants nothing more for her to be happiest. she doesn't like how whimsydove treats her, doesn't like how she's reduced to just a pretty achievement for their mother to display, but doesn't have the heart to tell her. to sereinkit, it feels as though for every careful step she takes on eggshells, saccharinekit has taken three forward on a path of gold. she desperately wishes she could understand saccharinekit, but it feels as though her grasp slips a little each day, until she's wandering blindly through a world she was never wanted in. sister.. if you have to go, will you look back at me just once?

• when it comes to starclan, sereinkit has roughly the same attitude towards them as she would towards her average clanmate – a mild wariness, if not simple indifference. she doesn't necessarily believe nor disbelieve in starclan. whether the afterlives exist or not, it doesn't affect sereinkit: if they do, they don't take much any interest in her, and neither does she in them. a large part of sereinkit's lack of any particular feeling towards the clan afterlives is due to her general disconnect towards the clans and their culture. having only ever watched her sister be raised as their mother's daughter, she's always felt out of place, and as a result never saw much importance in their traditional matters, including apprentice and warrior ceremonies, mentorship, the warrior code, and so on.

• the main motif i've given sereinkit is that of a black pearl. non-traditional and composed of many layers of colors that make up its iridescent look – too far removed from the purity and innocence of the white pearl, but no less beautiful by comparison. where the white pearl symbolizes untainted elegance, its counterpart has had to survive and persist through trouble after trouble to maintain its own. nevertheless, they are both pearls. both shine with unmatched radiance. they encapsulate everything sereinkit wishes she and saccharinekit could be.
• another more secondary theme is birds, more specifically a raven for sereinkit, while she views saccharinekit as a dove or a songbird – delicate and dainty, their mother's perfect performer, an ideal anyone would want to aspire towards. sereinkit is instead a raven – an omen of misfortune, someone always lingering to the side, unable to be truly forgotten no matter how badly others may wish they could. she fears that her wish to not be driven apart from her sister is a selfish one that she refuses to acknowledge as such, a cruel and heartless one meant to clip saccharinekit's wings and trap her along in her own loneliness.

• plot ideas

• playlist

this is my little closing bit in case i can't decide what to say c: winter