꒰ princess ⋆ꕤ∘˚₊ a sonnet application ꒱

╭ ── ₊˚∘ table of contents ∘˚₊ ── ╮
. . . username + about me
. . . who am i applying for?
. . . why am i applying?
. . . kit personality
. . . kit gender and sexuality
. . . family dynamics
. . . research
. . . rp samples
. . . trivia/rambles
. . . codeword
. . . credits
╰ ───── ₊˚∘ꕤ∘˚₊ ────── ╯

ꕤ username + about me
. . . hello!! my username is @fawniinq- on scratch, and i go by avia! i use pronouns she/her. i do dance, hip hop specifically, and have been dancing for years. i also enjoy reading and drawing (sometimes) although i have not found the motivation recently which is rather unfortunate. i like to draw here on scratch, but my drawing tablet won't connect to this computer so tbh it's just my finger on the trackpad (or whatever it's called). i'm happily taken! i went into a deep pit of inactivity for genuinely the last year but now i'm back hopefully i'm 14-17, and i'm trying really hard to do well in school so if i'm ever inactive know i'm studying or something. i also love playing minecraft and other video games, and have an unhealthy obsession with arcane i'd say my activity level used to be around a 9.7/10, then it dropped to like a 2/10 for a year, but now i'm back and currently at like an 9.5/10 since it's summer! i think i can stay around a 7-8 writer's blocker is hitting me pretty hard rn, though.
anyways, let's get to the application and PLEASE ignore the ramble-y format

ꕤ who am i applying for?
. . . i'm applying for sonnet because oh my golly gee.

ꕤ why am i applying?
. . . number one, i'm a pretty big fan of rue because twin and all of that lolol anyways, i also really like heartbreakhaven! she seems super cool and also it is so awesome that it's deputy. i would love to be part of their plot because heartbreakhaven seems so interesting and seems to have so much going on. i also think that the parenting style and that plot opens up opportunities for so much stuff to happen between sonnet and her mother. i've also really wanted to get back into tss after my unintentional year break, and before that killing off captaintide, so i want a kit to be able to do that with. and i think sonnet may be the kit, as i love the design SO freaking much and i'm in love. i have so many ideas, so here we are!

ꕤ kit personality
. . . sonnet is a very confident and independent individual, often finding herself in the lead of groups despite her more cruel nature. her assertiveness helps her stay level-headed in difficult situations. additionally, she's quick-witted and resourceful, often able to solve problems that come up on her own, although she really prefers other cats do her dirty work. she's a very narcissistic, self-centered cat, thinking herself above all others. she is often preoccupied with dreams and fantasies of her successes, and believes she's above others and should only associate with those that are special just like her. she's obsessive. once she gets attached to someone she will be obsessedwith them. her obsession can also be turned on her goals, driving her to succeed and push herself harder and harder. she also is manipulative and controlling, using others for her benefit and to reach her goals, as if they're mere stepping stools in the progress she's making to greatness. sonnie never wants to share this greatness, though. or anything, for that matter. she's stingy and completely unwilling to share, selfishly keeping the good things she has to herself. if something goes wrong, though, that's all on the other cats. she's extremely explosive, and if you argue she will burn your whole family (not literally).with a mother like heartbreakhaven, who sonnie is desperate for attention from, she's had to learn how to be observant and pay attention to the details, such as what makes wren at least a /little/ happy and proud of her. her mother is everything sonnet wants to be. some part of her loathes it, but the other part is so desperate for approval and love. despite her narcissism, she is envious of others. for example, those who get love from their mothers. she also feels envious of those who don't always have to uphold the perfection she sees in herself. despite how self-centered she is, sometimes she views it as a burden. others don't have to always be perfect, but she does because she is above them all. she can also be extremely paranoid, which ties in with how observant she is. she has a deep mistrust in most of the other cats and believes they may have ulterior motives that cause them to pretend. she often has a suspicion of others, especially if they're someone who's kind to her. she might feign empathy to find weaknesses and later use them to her advantage and exploit them. in stressful situations she becomes more calculating and ruthless, using her intelligence to get out of these difficult positions.

+ confident, quick-witted, assertive, resourceful, straightforward, intelligent
= independent, manipulative, paranoid, observant, envious, calculating
- selfish, explosive, controlling, stingy, narcissistic, obsessive

ꕤ kit gender and sexuality
. . . erm okay so i wrote this out but then forums broke i guess </3
- probably will end up being lesbian/sapphic after starting as straight then maybe thinking she's bi and then finally figures it out i do see her really admiring others and thinking that it's just jealousy, but then later when she realizes she's attracted to girls she'll have to think through it every time and be like: do i want to be her or do i want to be WITH her?
- for gender identity, hmm. probably stay cis or female-aligned at least, maybe try out pronouns like she/they or she/fae or she/ae throughout her life but i'm not sure.

- another possible idea would be demisexual and bi or something but i'm leaning more towards lesbian/sapphic. maybe that and demi though!

ꕤ family dynamics
. . . these are in no way finalized and of course if i win the kit i'll have to discuss this with each of the owners :>

- she really wants heartbreakhaven to like her. she desperately needs the approval. i do think that she and her mother will mostly get along, due to some similarities in their personalities? sonnet looks up to wren and is jealous that her mother gets to be deputy and she is just some stupid kit/apprentice/warrior (whatever her ranks is at the time). of course, heartbreak doesn't want sonnet to turn out like them, but sun will definitely try anyway. a part of her loathes wren, though, because of how cold it is to the kits, but the rest of her still desperately wants the love and specifically attention from her mother.
i do think that later on (as i discuss in the ramble section) they might have some kind of conflict that stops sonnet's arc towards growth and being a kinder cat and causes her to become worse. for plot things, i imagine sonnet could have this whole breakdown that goes along the lines of “why don't you love me” and i think it could lead to a lot of growth so this is a very interesting dynamic to explore.

- as for balladkit, she will definitely judge the poor kit. i imagine that sonnet would probably bully ballad, but ballad would still be kind to her. i would have to discuss it with the roleplayer if i get sonnie, but this is what i imagine. sonnie will probably be constantly making remarks at ballad such as “oh why are you so sad” oh why cant you use your words“ ”just be normal, you're so undisciplined" but i do think they'd get along with how they avoid emotionally deep discussions, though that's like a very small part of it.

- i cannot predict the other kits' personalities. however, i can explain how she would react to the different possibilities of them.
> sonnet will probably view the other kits as competition for heartbreakhaven's attention. if someone else seems to be getting more love/attention than her, she will try her best to shoot them down and point out their flaws. i imagine she'd also be jealous of sonata because of her appearance, like especially the colors on her pelt and stuff, but also still probably make fun of the other kit.
> if the kit is quieter than her, and not as interested in their mother's attention, she will probably make fun of them for it, but some part of her will probably feel jealous that they don't need the affection and love as badly as her. however, she will mask this with disdain and in fact do it so well that she herself will just think cruel things about them instead of letting herself express her jealousy. additionally, if someone doesn't speak much or is quiet a lot, she will find herself very irritated with their behavior despite them not doing anything to her.
> if her sibling is louder and more extroverted, she will still view them with disdain but find them a lot more frustrating than someone who's quieter. she wants nothing to do with how overly energetic they are, she doesn't want to deal with them. however, i imagine if there's someone who's just the right mix of energetic and calm, for example someone who annoys her but doesn't really pose a threat to her in her mind, vying for heartbreak's attention, they might bond and she will probably be pretty close with them.
> i imagine that once she gets friends or allies, she will probably bully her siblings with them unless they click.
–> although i discussed this specifically within the parameters of her siblings, it doesn't only apply to them for the most part.
> as for her older siblings, she will be disinterested in them for the most part, but at the same time will wonder if they're better than her for some reason simply because they're older, or maybe think that heartbreakhaven loves them more. a lot of her perception of her siblings is centered around her mother, and she'll probably form opinions on them based on this.

ꕤ research
. . . i'm not 100% i'm gonna give her these, but in case i do, here's the research it's leaning towards i will but they will probably develop later in her life.

╰▹ narcissistic personality disorder ꕀ
» a mental condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance. they need and seek too much attention. behind the mask of self-confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and quite insecure. they are often preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate, and take advantage of others to get what they want. they also behave in an envious way while believing others envy them, and are quite arrogant, bragging a lot. those with npd must meet the following criteria: 1. grandiose sense of self-importance; 2. has fantasies of unlimited success, power, etc.; 3. belief that they are special and should only associate with other special/high-status people; 4. needs excessive admiration; 5. sense of entitlement; 6. takes advantage of others for their own needs; 7. lacks empathy; 8. envious of others/believes others are envious of them; 9. arrogant behaviors/attitudes.
i do think that this would probably be the disorder she develops in her apprentice years or early warriorhood because she already matches a lot of the traits and usually as one ages their narcissistic tendencies become more prominent and npd can develop. please note that you CAN have these traits on their own without having npd, provided they're isolated, but when they are all there it usually signifies the disorder.
this disorder causes problems in MANY areas of life. individuals with it may be unhappy or disappointed when they are not given the special treatment they think they deserve. often they also look down on people they view as not important as them. often they also have secret feelings of insecurity and shame.
- i understand that having my cat have a mental disorder requires a lot of research and a roleplay example. if i decide that she will develop it, i will provide even more research and a roleplay example. however, i'm just exploring possibilities for her future, although this is pretty likely.

- https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9742-narcissistic-personality-disorder
- https://www.family-institute.org/behavioral-health-resources/understanding-narcissism-and-narcissistic-personality-disorder-npd

╰▹ necrophobia ꕀ
» necrophobia is a fear of dead things, such as bodies, as well as anything associated with death, such as graves. people with necrophobia may experience dizziness, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat and breathing, uneasiness, a sense of dread, numbness and fear of dying. in some cases it might be so severe that you have a panic attack. while most individuals feel discomfort around death, this fear can interfere with daily life. it can develop from experiences someone has had, such as witnessing a death and avoiding death-related situations, which can refinforce the fear of death. it can lead to avoidance of attending funerals of even loved ones.
she would avoid talking about death at all costs and avoid any situations involving it, whether it be mourning a family member or seeing animals. speaking of which, she might have to switch to a non-carnivorous diet while she copes with it, as that might trigger her as well. if she does have an experience where she is around something relating to it, she would probably begin to breathe very heavily, as well as have a sense of dread. it could also lead to a panic attack in severe cases!
- i feel like she is less likely to develop this because although she is very afraid of death and dying, i don't think it will be a debilitating fear. if something changes, however, and she's exposed to witnessing a death or something similar, like mentioned above, she might develop it, in which case i will definitely be doing more research and providing a roleplay example as the rules dictate.

- https://www.verywellmind.com/necrophobia-coping-with-the-fear-of-dead-things-4796573
- https://www.choosingtherapy.com/necrophobia/

ꕤ rp samples
. . . a blue-gray cat sat on the beach, tail swishing back and forth in the sand. her claws were buried deep in the sand, and water swished over them every so often, forming a cadence. sonnet stared out to sea, blue eyes traveling over the crashing waves in the distance. with a sigh, she stood up, shaking the sand off of her paws. her appearance had to be pristine for everyone's eyes, or they would think of how disgusting she was. which she wasn't. and she could not let anyone think of her that way!
if she was going to be great like mother, she needed to always be great. she was just an apprentice, but these were the moons where it really mattered. she would prove herself to heartbreakhaven, become a warrior– the best warrior the clan had ever seen– and then she'd become leader. she knew she was above other cats, she just had to prove it to them. and she would, once she achieved perfection.
—-
sonnetpaw was in the water, trying to find a fish or something she could catch. her eyes trailed over the schools of fish, wondering which one would be the easiest target. at last, her gaze focused on a particularly large fish, one she could not remember the name of. she lunged, propelling herself forward with strong limbs and tail, bee-lining straight towards it. her jaws closed on something but seconds later there was just water. she let out a growl of frustration, watching the others scurry away from her as far as she could. sinking down to the sand below her, she began tearing at the seagrass growing beneath her. how could she have been so stupid!
(to be continued… )

for jrps, please check my application project. in case i do not get jrps in, you HAVE seen me roleplay before so hopefully that makes up for it at least a little.

ꕤ trivia / rambles
. . . okay! this is the trivia/info dump section of my application, so prepare for rambles and bullet points lol
- nicknames: sonnie, sun, netty, nets, suns..?
- view on her name: she has mixed feelings about her name. sonnets are about love, about desire, and she just wants to be loved. deep inside, i think that's her one wish. however, she also brushes it off. she preteneds; she doesn't need someone to love her romantically, doesn't need to be loved and accepted. she just needs her loyal followers….
- view on starclan: tbh she kinda thinks starclan is stupid. like what are a bunch of starry powerless cats /really/ gonna do. i'm sure something's gonna change her mind at some point, though.
- views on the dark forest: she's neutral on it. still doesn't think it can really hurt her or anything, but she doesn't judge it as much as starclan because at least these cats are remembered.

- “our paths crossed briefly, yet you still had the misfortune of knowing me”
- “you could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature”

- self-absorbed and selfish, but very independent
- observant and controlling like if someone's not doing what she wants she WILL notice
- she's narcissistic and very selfish, and will prob manipulate everyone + only form a few close friendships. the ones that she does form will probably be with those who are willing to care about her no matter what and help her grow.

- plot wise, maybe one day she'll get seriously injured or something, and then spend a long time recovering after being saved by one of her friends or maybe someone else –> maybe gets taken to another place?? idk if she could really go to another clan but out of seaclan thats for sure. this all leads to her realizing that others treat her kindly and then she's like oh shoot i've been awful tbh
-> continuing on that, i think she's gonna start trying to be better, and then something should break her heart. like we could plan that maybe she and wren have an argument or something, and sonnet is SO angry that she starts being awful again
- also probably would want her to leave the clan for a bit just to see the world and learn some empathy </3
- when others try to help her she might be like “i am NOT your little charity case, do not touch me!” “unhand me!” ( idk if this one would work cause i'm not sure if it relies on the word “handle” or the word “hands” because if it's hands then cats, fantasy or not, do not have hands so i dont think it would work. but if its handle then maybe, although that lowkey also has to do with hands but it's like a step away so maybe she would say “unhand me”.

- have to research possible narcissistc personality disorder + paranoid personality disorder? i have to look into that
- tends to examine her claws and her fur while pretending not to care or listen, a way to look completely disinterested
- lifts her head up when talking
- will do things JUST to be the center of attention like cause a scene

- shes probably gonna think about the war a lot
- she will probably have like a gang of loyal followers if i can do that hehe
- maybe gets an accessory every time she messes up? or something like that. to be like stop messing up before youre gone completely
- controls her mannerisms and body language very well, so she seems cold and uncaring but still cruel. if she does use body language, its usually to her advantage rather than her body just doing it. she feels like she has to always keep this mask on because she needs to be perfect and she has a cruel reputation to uphold
- wants to have a legacy and power

- calls others by nicknames they dislike
- only those she truly loves can call her nicknames
- fidgets with a small object while thinking. (if she was a human i'd say a ring but she is a seacat so i fear not lol)
- i'm not sure what her mbti is, but i definitely think she's intuitive!
- values intelligence in others, but also doing what she wants them to. if you dont do what she wants, she will be mad
- speaks in precise, cold sentences
- easily bored with routine

- has like a really baby, happy face as a kit but then grows out of it mostly
- also i am in no way saying the art is bad !! i think it's gorgeous they did an amazing job. i just think that she looks so joyous and innocent and stuff and that is NOT going to be the case >
- does not like when others are taller than her </3
- VERY scared of death and other things dying –> necrophobia i think. scared at the thought of dying –> biggest fear is death




ꕤ codeword
. . . lemme just listen some words: dog, leaf, cat, ocean, beach, apple, periwinkles, tree

ꕤ credits
. . . layout by @fawniinq-, inspired by @strxtus
litter by @flyrat

– link back to application project and jrps
– link back to litter