ANTI-ROMANTIC ⟡ an adoniskit application

. ݁˖ ⊹ appearing underneath the delicate downpour of rose petals, enters a soft-furred figure of elegance. he does not to speak, but opens the gates to his heart, letting you in past all the facades and barriers that craft the carefully curated mask of this romantic tragedy… take a look inside, won’t you?

❛ sorry, i’m an anti-romantic ; 달아나고 싶어 저 멀리 ❜
 ⟢ sorry i’m an anti-romantic ; i want to run away, far away

FOLDED CORNERS ⟡ about the roleplayer
introduction . roleplaying experience . activity & longevity . character history

. ݁˖ ⊹ introduction
 ⎯ hihi! i’m bread, but friends can also call me eden as well c: i use she/any, and my hobbies include binging favorite shows (the office, stranger things, outer banks, + more), reading new book series at 2 am (because sleep is for the weak. heh.), learning and playing guitar, and listening to my favorite kpop groups and musical albums (txt, stray kids, epic: the musical, hamilton, and more…), among others! in general, though, i’m just a person who exists on here to roleplay + help out the tc tfcrp team, sometimes post art, and interact with my friends LOL

. ݁˖ ⊹ roleplaying experience
 ⎯ i’ve been roleplaying for just over 3 years now, although i’ve been writing for much longer :3 i first started rping in random wc roleplays (such as destroyed paths rp and where flowers bloom rp) i found from time to time, before somehow finding my way to tfcrp - i’m not entirely sure of when i first joined, but from what i’ve found, i was present in january 2022 at the latest, which was quite a while ago!

. ݁˖ ⊹ activity & longevity
 ⎯ if i were to win adonis, i would dedicate a large chunk of my time to creating an interesting life for him - whether that be through plots, conflicts, relationships, or something else, i promise to explore all avenues with him and give him a story worth telling! additionally, since he’ll be alive around the time i get off from school (may 30), i’ll have a whole summer (which is usually my most active time of the year) to spend roleplaying him hehe <3

. ݁˖ ⊹ character history
 ⎯ honeysplatter & raven : honeysplatter was my first character in tfcrp, a sign-up cat and warrior of thunderclan; i didnt roleplay much with her, because i was more active in the art community and had barely grasped the rules of roleplaying, so, along with that, i also created raven, a kittypet, a week or so after, not knowing that you couldn't have only one character. after i got that sorted out, i continued to roleplay a bit with honeysplatter before ultimately removing her and taking a break from roleplaying in tfcrp.
 ⎯ carnationfaith : in around late 2022, i rejoined tfcrp with carnationfaith of windclan, another sign-up character, during which i had gotten a better handle of the rules of tfcrp, how things worked, and the community. carnationfaith was mostly just a placeholder character, as during that time there were multiple open litters of which i was applying for; after winning buttermilkkit, she met her demise soon before he was born.
 ⎯ buttermilkperch : buttermilkkit (now buttermilkperch!) is the first character in tfcrp i've ever really felt a “connection” to. although his final personality had strayed from faer original concept, i believe xyr one of my favorite characters in tfcrp out of all my others; he has went from a flamboyant, poetic soul to an adventurous, confident apprentice, and, at the end of faer life, was a mostly tired but still trying to contribute warrior. however, upon me winning ophanim, i had to get rid of kee, which means that at ~99 moons of age, xe joined starclan <3
 ⎯ splashdance : splashdance has definitely been one of my more successful and experimental characters! although he’s currently riverclan’s deputy (i still get jumpscared whenever i remember that LOL) at around 50 moons old, i’m more so proud of him because through him i’ve gotten to explore how grief, loss, imperfection, and a myriad of other things affect him - through srps and unique relationships, he’s helped me create a lot of memories and even bonds oorp too :3 if i were to win adonis, he’d still live on for quite a while <3
 ⎯ ophanim : opha, the wayward scholar - i have to admit that when i won them, i was really surprised! i hadn’t really done much of an application in the first place, and had kind of lost motivation a couple weeks prior to the results. despite this, though, i won them and - after a small debate - accepted and became their rper, which was a hasty action i’ve come to somewhat regret. i’ve tried to connect a lot with ophanim, and, for the most part, i believe that i do - however, if i were to win adonis, they would most likely be the one being offed. i don’t think i’d consider doing that when they’re so young in any circumstance beyond this, but i feel more connected and dedicated to day than i feel towards opha, so that’s why he would take precedence.
 ⎯ flutteringpaw : flutteringpaw! at the time of writing this, she’s a moon or so away from warriorhood which is like… woah how time flies :0 she’s my first and only skyclan cat, and the character currently taking up my third slot. there’s not much to say about her right now, but because of her blooming romance plot and some other things i have in the works for her, i’m excited to continue exploring her life!
 ⎯ if i were to win adonis, he’d occupy my third slot and replace ophanim </3

❛ 이미 널 쫓는 내 마음이 ; 작은 불씨로 타올라 ❜
 ⟢ my heart that is already chasing after you ; is burning with small embers

PRESSED ROSES ⟡ about the kit
kit of choice . future identity . personality

. ݁˖ ⊹ kit you're applying for
 ⎯ i’m applying for the charmer adoniskit! <3

. ݁˖ ⊹ future identity
 ⎯ although this isn’t entirely set in stone and is subject to change, i believe adonis will remain cisgender for the entirety of his life, and become either heteroflexible or unlabeled.

. ݁˖ ⊹ personality
 ⎯ disclaimer : because of the way i planned out adonis’ personality, he has two sets of simplified traits! the first is his kithood self, and the second is his apprenticehood one - although it may shift a little as all personalities do once tested out in roleplay, the simplified traits were the ones i detailed in my long form description!

 ⎯ simplified :
  ⟢ positives . . . empathetic, observant, optimistic, romantic, creative
  ⟢ neutrals . . . innocent, people-pleasing, idealistic, reflective, perfectionist
  ⟢ negatives . . . dependent, self-sacrificing, impressionable, vain, disillusioned

  ⟢ positives . . . charming, witty, composed, adaptive, perceptive, eloquent, charismatic
  ⟢ neutrals . . . elusive, controlled, idealistic, cautious, flirty, protective, determined
  ⟢ negatives . . . guarded, manipulative, vain, obsessive, amoral, self-destructive, repressed

 ⎯ detailed :
from the very beginning, adonis has been a soul made of silk and starlight - empathetic, wide-eyed, and awash in the wonder of a world he’s still learning to read. he is deeply observant, watching not only the way petals drift in the springtime or how shadows shift on roughened ground, but also the subtlest expressions of those around him. he picks up on the emotions others think they’ve hidden and internalizes them with quiet gravity. that sensitivity becomes both gift and curse because it leaves him constantly wanting to fix things he doesn’t quite understand. he clings on to what was never meant to be his burden, an inclination that continues to weigh him down despite his persistence.

in these early moons, he is still innocent - not naive, but soft in a way that assumes the best of others. he is profoundly romantic, seeing the world not as it is, but as it could be if only it loved a little more gently. stories of soulmates and gods stick to his heart, furthering his imagination; to him, love is a form of magic, destined and divine. a relentless optimistic, adonis finds beauty even in pain, spinning tragedies into quiet hope. whether he’s drawing mythic figures in the dust with his tail or humming a tune passed down in soft purrs, his creative spirit is inseparable from who he is.

and yet, that same beauty makes him vulnerable. he becomes a people-pleaser, molding himself into the version others praise, which often means being quiet, still, and “good.” his early life teaches him that to be loved is to be perfect - or, at least, to seem like it. as such, he becomes quietly perfectionist, rehearsing his words before speaking, fussing with his appearance when nervous, and carefully arranging his posture for approval he doesn’t know how to ask for. he is deeply reflective, often thinking in spirals and symbolism, trying to make meaning out of the missing piece he can’t find.

but there’s fragility beneath the facade; adonis is deeply dependent, attaching to others - particularly his mothers or siblings - with reverent devotion. he would give all of himself for the tiniest spark of tenderness, building a tendency towards self-sacrifice that is both beautiful and quietly devastating. he will silence his needs, apologize too often, and offer his affection with trembling hope that it will be returned. his impressionable heart clings to the moments that feel like love, even when they’re ambiguous, and he mistakes attention for affection more often than he’d ever admit.

in time, the cracks begin to show. the first time someone he adores withdraws, he doesn’t understand, only wonders if he did something wrong. that’s when the disillusionment creeps in - not loud, but slow and hollowing. and beneath it all, a quiet vanity begins to bloom. if love is given so easily when he is beautiful before the cracks show, then beauty must be a kind of safety. a kind of power. a kind of mask. he learns, slowly, that even a child can be worshipped for the way he shines - and still feel achingly unloved.

however, apprenticehood transforms adonis into an almost completely different person… at least, on the surface. by this point, he has refined the art of being charming - not simply pleasant, but enticing, in a way that feels both effortless and impossible to replicate. his beauty is no longer accidental, it’s honed, curated, and woven into every movement. with a single glance, he can flirt and disarm, using his wit to draw laughter and his eloquence to make pain sound like art. he makes others feel like they’ve been let in, like they’re special, even if they haven’t truly seen anything real.

but the charm is armor. underneath the composed, regal exterior is a boy who feels too much, too deeply. so he doesn't show it, not really; he has grown controlled, keeping his emotions in tight, choreographed restraint. his adaptive nature allows him to shift roles depending on what others need; he can be the gentle confidant, the mysterious flirt, the poetic loner, all while revealing almost nothing of himself. he’s elusive, offering glimmers of vulnerability only in metaphors, soft smiles, or veiled myth. if someone reaches too close, he vanishes behind a well-timed laugh or a sudden philosophical tangent.

he’s become perceptive, almost unnervingly so - watching others the way a playwright studies actors, he fixes his focus on cataloging microexpressions, noting reactions, and adjusting his mask accordingly. he is also charismatic in that magnetic way that draws people toward him instinctively, but the ones who fall in love often find themselves grasping smoke. adonis wants love, yes, but on his terms - where he is adored from a distance, never touched too deeply, never exposed. he remains cautious, especially around sincerity, because real love feels dangerous. real love could break him open.

internally, though, things are more complicated. he’s still idealistic, still shaped by the belief in fated connection and the poetry of souls, but he no longer trusts it the way he once did. he’s become more guarded, suspicious of intimacy even while longing for it. there’s a subtle edge of manipulativeness to his charm - he doesn’t deceive with cruelty in mind, but he knows how to keep control.

the soft romanticism of kithood has curdled into something darker within him, obsessive devotion simmering beneath the surface of his carefully crafted mask. he’s the kind of cat who would burn the world for someone he loves, but only once he’s sure they won’t leave. he is protective, perhaps even to a possessive degree, but he masks it with a grace most others fail to achieve. at his worst, he becomes emotionally repressed, channeling his longing into poems, late-night walks, and tragic daydreams rather than confession. his vanity is sharper now - less about appearance, more about perception. he is determined to be seen a certain way, and terrified of being unmasked.

most dangerous of all is his self-destructiveness; it does not often manifest in ways obvious to others, but in quiet acts of sacrifice. he’ll give too much, too fast, and when it isn’t returned, he won’t beg. he’ll simply close the door and delude himself into thinking the ache is all a part of the lie. there’s an amoral streak, too - not cruel, but emotionally calculating. he believes in fate, not fairness. in poetry, not apologies. in love that feels ancient and doomed.

because love, to adonis, is no longer a dream.
it is a stage. a spell. a sacrifice.
and it terrifies him what he would do if it ever became real.

❛ sorry, i’m an anti-romantic ; 더는 믿지 않아 romantic ❜
 ⟢ sorry, i’m an anti-romantic ; i don’t believe anymore in being romantic

LOVE LETTERS ⟡ extended
family dynamics . views

. ݁˖ ⊹ family dynamics
 ⎯ cantriplily : mother : @winged-chaos
  ⟢ to adonis, cantriplily has always been something sacred - quiet, distant, and hauntingly gentle. as a kit, he idolized her soft gestures and fleeting touches, mistaking her selective mutism for divine silence. her butterfly kisses and cryptic glances felt like rituals in a larger, beautiful mystery he was desperate to understand. but as he grew older, the silence started to ache. her love was real, but it came veiled in metaphor and absence, leaving adonis to fill in the blanks himself, even when it hurt. he began to internalize the idea that love was something he had to decode, not receive. though he speaks of her with reverence, adonis carries a quiet wound: the fear that he was never truly seen by her, only reflected back in soft shadows and passed-down poems. he treasures the wings she gave him, but sometimes wishes she had offered words instead. he doesn't blame her - understands her, even - but that understanding doesn’t stop the loneliness that creeps in.
 ⎯ aurorawish : mom/mama : @fireflight-
  ⟢ aurorawish is laughter, color, and hands-on affection - tossing him in the air, teaching him pranks, making him feel like the brightest star in the sky. as a young kit, adonis adored her chaotic warmth and the way she filled every room with noise and light. but when he became an apprentice, her love turned sharp-edged, tangled in overprotection and barely concealed panic. her fear of losing him became its own kind of pressure, and adonis - ever the performer - learned to smile through it, even as he began to feel like he was suffocating under her constant watch. he knows she loves him unconditionally, but sometimes that love feels like a spotlight he never asked for, illuminating every flaw and trapping him in the image of her “golden boy.” he resents it at times, then hates himself for it. still, when she calls his name or laughs too loudly at his jokes, part of him feels like a kit again - safe in a way no one else can offer.

. ݁˖ ⊹ views
 ⎯ thoughts on religion : adonis doesn’t view starclan the way most do; to him, they are not simply distant ancestors, but stories that possess beauty and cruelty in equal measure within their weathered pages. from early on, he has learned that the stars don’t always save the worthy, nor do they punish the wicked, a dissonance that subconsciously formed a new belief within him. he sees starclan less as a wise council now, and more as a mirror of the emotions, regrets, and legacies the stars have left behind. they have been lowered from their positions as deities in his mind, because beneath it all they are simply ghosts with opinions. the fear of the dark forest, too, has abandoned him, and in its wake is a sense of understanding adonis believes he has mastered. it is not a place of pure evil, but of the kind of pain that festers under neglect. it’s not just punishment, but a product of when love decays into obsession, and when grief withers into hate. he doesn’t think he would ever end up there, but he also knows how easy the descent would be if he ever let himself unravel.
 ⎯ thoughts on the clans : adonis sees the clans as siblings with varying degrees of attachments and estrangements - their always-shifting relationships with each other, in his mind, resemble that of his and his own littermates’ dynamics, and so he treats their words of truces and declarations of hostility as a reflection of that. however, he does not place much stock into either because no matter what, at some point like any other quartet of siblings, he believes they will always find their ways back to each other. windclan will always hold adonis’ loyalty, though; not only because its his home clan, but because of the way its always been a beacon of peace within the petty squabbles of clan politics, which he greatly admires.
 ⎯ thoughts on love/relationships : adonis adores the idea of love - soulmates, destiny, invisible threads tying two hearts together; it’s a concept he romanticizes deeply and craves to an almost painful degree. but love, to him, is not light or easy, but rather fragile and sacred, beautiful and dangerous in its duality. he doesn’t fall in love casually, he plummets, heart-first and with reckless abandon. still, he fears what it demands from him: openness, exposure, surrender… to truly love someone is to hand them his most vulnerable self, and he’s not sure anyone would stay if they saw what was beneath the performance. so instead, adonis plays the part of a composed, flirtatious recluse; he becomes the idea of someone lovable, weaving prose into every interaction, all while keeping his truest desires locked behind a glass panel. he equates love with beauty, but also with loss; he’s seen how affection can fade, how that coveted closeness can turn into dreadful silence. the ghosts of these fears live in every glance that lingers too long, and in every touch he hesitates to return. ultimately, adonis wants to be chosen not for his charm, but for the quiet ache beneath it. he dreams of someone who will love the messy truth beyond its poetic covering, but remains too afraid to truly seek such connection out.

❛ 내 맘 전부를 다 불사르고 ; 까만 재만 남게 될까 두려워 ❜
 ⟢ as my entire heart burns ; i’m afraid that only black ashes will remain

HIDDEN PROSES ⟡ miscellaneous
roleplay examples . trivia

. ݁˖ ⊹ joint roleplays
 ⎯ with @angelwinq . . . link
 ⎯ with @r-ever-ie . . . link

. ݁˖ ⊹ trivia
 ⎯ theme song :
  ⟢ ADONIS - fifty fifty

 ⎯ voice claims :
  ⟢ kithood . . . luka from alien stage
  ⟢ apprenticehood . . . kazuha from genshin impact (eng)
  ⟢ warriorhood . . . albedo from genshin impact (eng)

 ⎯ mbti : infp-t / “the mediator”
 ⎯ enneagram : 4w3 / “the masked romantic”
 ⎯ alignment : chaotic neutral

 ⎯ scent :
  ⟢ kithood . . . vanilla milk, osmanthus, + rice flower
  ⟢ apprenticehood . . . smoked vanilla, iris, + plum blossom
  ⟢ warriorhood . . . smoked vanilla, bergamot, + dark patchouli

 ⎯ likes :
  ⟢ mythology & folklore
  ⟢ sunsets
  ⟢ butterflies

 ⎯ dislikes :
  ⟢ bodies of water (see jrp with jun…. bro cannot swim, i fear :skull: )
  ⟢ being interrupted
  ⟢ rabbits (for reasons that will be revealed at some point LOL)