Discuss Scratch

SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

July 22nd, 2025 Daily:

Even the least experienced Scratch Writing Camp camper will know about the significance of mangoes to the camp — at least a little bit.

It’s unclear where the joke about mangoes originated from, though many a person has tried to inquire (unfortunately, to no avail). I am sorry to say that I am only another one of the people who is unsure of where the joke came from, but despite being a person who dislikes fruits in general (yes, including mangoes, which I have never eaten except for dried mango a couple of times, maybe, a LONG time ago), I still know how mangoes are one of the most critical parts of Scratch Writing Camp.

You see, SWC really does run on mangoes. It’s a staple of the camp, and you can’t go more than a day without hearing the word (or reading it, I suppose) somewhere or another. It’s offered as a prize for some activities in The Cabin That Will Not Win (as opposed to points) and also for some dailies, again, as a replacement for points.

Mangoes, to SWC, are a symbol of both silliness and success, and it’s imperative that for National Mango Day, we esteem the mango as we should, for it is important beyond words to SWC’s lore and existence.
~
Word count: 215 words
SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

Hey, Toko! I’m here to critique your poetry collection (yayyy, I love poetry).

From a glance, I think one thing that could be helpful to distinguish between the different poems would be to bold the titles or something! Just visually separates it a little bit more.

My grandfather once told me the trees in our valley
have blood like ours.
Sap like veins, bark like bruised skin.
Okay, so this is actually gorgeous? What a way to begin this poem. And this collection. This is actually such a cool simile, and I love it so much <3

I feel it now,
the slow thrum of something
ancient, moving,
beneath my fingers.
Super minor thing, but I don’t think you need the commas around “moving” — but I suppose it could also depend on the intention of this sentence. Like if you’re trying to make it an appositive, then I think it would work (because “the slow thrum of something ancient beneath my fingers” does make sense), but if you’re trying to refer to the fact that this ancient thing is moving under your touch, then you wouldn’t need the commas! So basically. If you’re trying to refer to the fact that it is “ancient and moving” then keep it as it is, but if you’re trying to talk about how this ancient thing is moving beneath your fingers, then you should delete them! I have no idea if this makes sense outside of my head, but hopefully you get it?

Sometimes I think my own blood
remembers bark and wind. That maybe
I belong more to the trees
than to the people in our house.
Shivers here, oh my goodness-

2. Oakskin
Honestly, I haven’t really got any comments here. I love this poem

3. Smokewatch
Ohhh, as someone who used to live in California, I totally feel this poem-

Mom checks the fire map
before the news.
Dad won’t talk about it.
Okay, so I love the writing here (including the rest of the stuff in the stanza), but I think maybe the rhythm of these three lines together is a little bit off? I feel like since you’re talking about your parents, then they (the lines) should parallel each other in flow, if that makes sense. Like the one about your dad is significantly shorter (until you add the rest of the stanza, which then makes it a fair bit longer), but I think it might be cool to keep it in balance a little bit more. Some thoughts on how you could make it more balanced:

1. Add more to the part about your dad (like one line), and dedicate the rest of this stanza to be their shared opinions or their similarities
2. Elaborate on your mom’s part, but join this part of your dad’s thoughts with the next three lines with a comma

This is honestly super nitpicky and might just be a personal preference, so feel free to disregard any and all of this if you feel it doesn’t work for your poem

But some mornings,
the air tastes like coins.
Perhaps you could specify instead of “coins” a little more? Like “the air tastes like copper” or something instead?

4. Dry season.
Love, love, love this — might be my favorite in the collection so far

not that we have grass anymore.
I feel like this line doesn’t quite fit the tone and meter of the poem? Maybe you could do something more like “the hose coils limp / on dead lawn / where the grass we used to have should stand” (this is as a super quick thought, not very good, but I hope you get the idea-).

But he doesn’t water
the lemon tree anymore.
I think these two lines would be so much more powerful if you made them their own stanza.

The woods don’t ask questions.
I would elaborate on this a little more! Otherwise it kind of feels like you’re just sort of. Dropping the line in there.

Here, the air smells of wet stone
and time. My notebook flutters
I would split these into two stanzas, with “and time” being the end of the first one

I think they whisper back.
Whispering in a language older than fire.
I think this would flow better if you combined these two lines! In terms of meaning, anyway, not in like how you split them up into verse. Plus, then, you can kind of eliminate one of the “whisper” words. This could also be a personal preference, though.

First, it tastes different.
The imagery you use after this is SO STRONG, but I definitely think you could make this a little more impactful by wording it slightly less plainly?

1. The wind changes.
You use a lot of really short sentences here, which I think does contribute to the sense of urgency you want here, but if you used one longer sentence, I do think it would vary the rhythm a little bit more and make the shorter sentences more impactful

2. Evacuation order.
Oh, this one is powerful. Definitely encapsulates the urgency I would expect from an evacuation order

3. Fire runs faster.
GASP, this one is gorgeous, oh my goodness- The only suggestions I’ve got here are not about the writing, just the formatting.

Firstly, I know you say it’s not a contrapuntal poem in the note, but the way it’s set up, I can’t help trying to read it as such. I’d recommend putting a kind of divider between the two sides of the poem just to make it a little clearer and such — visually speaking.

Secondly, I love the juxtaposition between the “Just / a flicker, a crawl” and “Fire doesn’t flicker. / It devours.” I do, however, think it could be further amplified by if you positioned those two parts next to each other so you really highlight the contradiction.

of wingbeats
I think if you broke the repetition of the word “of” here and replaced it with “and” instead, it would make it more powerful, though.

I don’t get to say goodbye.
To the oak.
In my opinion, keeping this as one sentence (maybe along with the rest of the stanza?) would make it flow better

We just drive.
Red tail-lights ahead,
firelight behind.
Same as above for this!

6. A map of loss.
I don’t think I would call it a contrapuntal poem (so here, at least for me, I think it’s pretty intuitive for how to read it and doesn’t require a note), but this is lovely

But yesterday,
near the trailhead,
I see it.
Quick note, but you’ve got present tense in the third line, but if it took place yesterday, then it should probably be past tense!

So green
it hurts my eyes.
This bit is so powerful to me. Like, you’re seeing the hope, but it’s kind of so alien that it feels wrong.

2.
Love this so much <3

3. Ghost trees.
TOKO. REREAD THIS POEM AND PLEASE BE PROUD OF HOW ABSOLUTELY STUNNING YOUR WRITING IS. This is so raw and gorgeous

4. Dear tomorrow,
I am running out of words, but oh my goodness, this is just so, so beautiful

Alright, so to be honest, I really don’t have any critique for the next poems. They are gorgeous and stunning and beautifully written, and oh my goodness, you should be so proud of yourself for writing this whole collection. It’s so honest and well-done in every sense of the phrase. I’m genuinely speechless.

Most of the stuff I commented on is super small, and if I didn’t say anything, it’s probably just because it was so perfect as it was. This is truly a beautiful collection, Toko, and I’m so lucky to have had the chance to read and critique it. I wish you the best of luck with this collection, though I doubt you’ll need it <333

Last edited by SnowdropSugar (July 23, 2025 13:12:10)

SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

July 23rd, 2025 Daily:

—> prompt: “It is easier to die than to love.”

I have always been cautioned never to give my heart away so freely, but, like a fool, I never heeded the words of my elders. I thought, Surely, in a world where we lack so much love, it must be best to make up for it in our every action, and for years, I sought to do that — to give enough that the whole world would be set in balance again, the way it had never been.

The thing is, when you love, it is not just a momentary thing. You must pour your heart and soul into a person or a thing or the world, and only then can you truly say that you have loved.

So yes, I gave up my heart for the possibility of something better, but I realized far too quickly that not everyone would be cautious with my heart. I poured my heart and soul and body and mind into giving, because I thought that the world would, for all its flaws and shortcomings, still be able to see how much I cared, but it did not. The question of why, in fact, we should not give our heart out so freely was not a matter of me being cautious. It was a matter of others refusing to love in the same way, for I had forgotten that love was meant to be reciprocated, at least a little.

Now, I am left a hollow shell. I’ve forgotten how to feel, forgotten how to exist. I’m only a puppet of the world, going through the motions as if I still am here the way I used to be. My innocence faded as quick as the world’s color did, and now, I am only in shades of gray.

I loved, and then it left. It is easier to die than to love.

At least if you die, you can still hope.
~
Word count: 315 words
SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

Heyyy, Squidy! I bestow upon you…some critique. Also because we’re cutting words and stuff, I’ll just go through this once on my own, but it may or may not be able to get it all the way down (realistically most likely not), so if you want to do like a second exchange or something after we’re both done (I’ve got a fanfic entry I’m working on) and then I could help go through it again, I’m happy to do that! But if you feel like you’ve got it afterward, then that’s totally good as well.

Anyway, I’m mostly going to be critiquing this as I read for the first time, and I might go reread some of the stuff afterward just in case, but please keep that in mind in case I say anything super dumb-

Okay, so firstly, from a glance, it is a littleee bit of like a massive chunk of text, so I’d definitely add an extra space between all the paragraphs just so it makes it more visually appealing.

Also, I apologize in advance if anything I say sounds really harsh- When I’m cutting words on my own thing, I kind of have to be a bit ruthless, so I’m really sorry if any of that transfers to this

Lauryne ducked as she saw the double-edged sword sailing towards her head.
You can cut the “she saw” part of this, and maybe if you want to, you could take out “head” as well

Previously imprisoned animals of all different sorts—unicorns and birds and hedgehogs and dragons and fish—all created from the carefully folded pages of books and letters and other sorts of paper covered in words.
Okay, so this can definitely be shortened! Firstly, “different” could definitely be cut (the “sorts” already implies that they’re different). In the part between the em dashes, you can either a) cut that entirely, or b) just say something like “from unicorns to fish” with the two most different things you can think of. The second “all” also feels a little bit repetitive, since you just earlier said that same word. I’d definitely simplify the second part of this sentence to something maybe more like “carefully folded from ink-covered paper” or something like that!

The sword clattered to the ground, where a Russian-newspaper monkey snatched it up and scurried away.
Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, but you could replace the second part of this sentence with “where a Russian-newspaper monkey scurried away with it,” which does cut some words.

A rush of security guards stomped into the room, loud as the sci-fi elephants escaping their prison. (Strange symbols dotted the elephants’ trunks and ears like freckles.) The guards ran around shouting things. They seemed not to have expected this situation.
I’d delete the “strange symbols” sentence, as it doesn’t seem to be essential and would cut quite a few words. I’d also combine the sentences about the guards, so you can have “A rush of shouting security guards stomped into the room, loud as the sci-fi elephants escaping their prison; the situation seemed unexpected to them.” Or something like that — you get the idea.

We need them behind the safety of the glass for their protection as well as ours!
Would just change this to “…for all our protection.”

Seeing as they were made of paper and ink alone, even the most venomous of things would be unable to do any harm to a person. Other than a papercut, perhaps.
I’d combine these sentences to “Seeing as…, the most damage they could cause would be a papercut.” Or something like that.

The weapon itself was long gone, obviously—the monkey had since disappeared—and all that remained of the scene were (other than the scampering chaos of enchanted origami) the sharp pieces of glass on the ground. They were glittering stars on the plain tile floor.
I’d definitely shorten this! Something like “The weapon itself was long gone, and all that remained of the scene were the chaos of enchanted origami and shards of glass, glittering stars on the plain tile floor.”

She grabbed Jess’s hand and strode forward with confidence. Weaving around the commotion of guards, folded paper animals, and confused, paper-cut people, Lauryne led Jess towards the glowing neon green exit sign.
Probably can cut a fair bit of this as well! Something like “She grabbed Jess’s hand and weaved around the commotion, leading her toward the glowing exit sign.” That definitely could cut a lot more words.

The bright sun made her squint as she stepped into the fresh outside air, as crispy as a potato chip.
It’s a really fun simile, so if you can, keep it, but if you need more words, then you could cut it and replace “fresh” with “crisp”

it had been interesting at first to see all of the magical exhibits, but after a while she’d understood that it was simply cruel to make imagination–what powered magic–illegal.
Replace “at first” with “initially” and “after a while” with “later” to cut a few words. Also, you can probably cut the “that”

She wanted to go back through the door portal and find another world to explore, but she was too curious about who had thrown that sword at her head.
Replace with “She wanted to find another world to explore, but she was too curious about who had thrown that sword.” That does cut a few words

“First: Who is the sword guy? Second: Why are we looking for him? Third: Why would we find him at the sword store? Fourth: I can’t remember, but I know I had another one, and fifth, not a question but a comment: that is a terrible deal!”
“First: Obviously, the person who threw the sword. Second: We are looking for him because he has created a lot of chaos by setting the literally literary creatures free, and I’m curious about his motives and backstory. Plus, he almost killed me. Actually, that’s the main reason why. Third: Because now his sword is gone, and he probably needs a new one. Remember, that Russian-newspaper-monkey took it? Fourth: If you forgot the question, I suppose I forgot the answer. And fifth: don’t be silly, Jess. It’s a wonderful deal, and I don’t want to hear about it again.”
“Who is” can be changed to “who’s” and “we are” to “we’re.” Also “that is” to “that’s” and “he has” to “he’s” to cut another word. “I can’t remember, but I know I had another one…” can be changed to “I forgot, but I had another…” In the second sentence of the second paragraph, you could cut “ by setting the literally literary creatures free” if you need to and simplify “motives and backstory” to just “motives” to cut two words. And while it’s funny, if you need more space, you can also cut the “Remember….” line. And maybe the stuff after the comma after “It’s a wonderful deal”

Also, love the humor here <3

The next few bits look good, from what I can see! I love the silly tone and Lauryne’s personality and how it comes through as she speaks.

Nobody should listen to you.
You could probably cut this!!

so he would try to run away instead of buying a new sword.
Can probably shorten this to “so he would run away”

I want to check out that amazing deal!
Could probably cut this as well, seeing as you’ve said similar things before!

Jess groaned. “Sure.”
I think “fine” as opposed to “sure” would probably better encompass Jess’s annoyance and grudging acceptance that Lauryne isn’t going to take no for an answer

As they crossed the street, a rabbit brushed by Lauryne’s ankle, giving her a stinging papercut with the edge of its ear. At least it was only one and by accident, however; Jess didn’t see the porcupine sneaking up to attack her legs until it was too late. Then a hummingbird swooped down and sliced each of their noses with its speedy little wings.
This paragraph can definitely be shortened. Maybe something like just simplifying this to “As they crossed the street, both Lauryne and Jess were met with the sharp stinging of papercuts as a hoard of origami animals rushed by.”

A small bell dinged as they limped into the little store, and there was a lingering metallic scent as well as a hint of oil and wood.
You could probably simplify/shorten this sentence as well. Something like “A bell dinged as they limped into the store, a metallic scent meeting them as they did.”

There were all kinds of different styles and designs, ranging in length, with some curved and some straight and some that zig zagged on the edge.
Could probably shorten this to “…ranging in length and shape.”

He wore a hat with a logo on it that looked]like a circle with a simplified sword in the middle, and the same gray clothing that everybody else in this world seemed to own.
I don’t think this is super plot-related, so it’s probably okay if you cut this as well!

“Wow,” the man said. He seemed relatively unconcerned.
“Aren’t you surprised? Or shocked, or scared?” Jess asked.
“I wouldn’t say I am.”
“Huh.”
I love this interaction, ahaha

(it seemed to be from the pages of a biology textbook)
This is a fun line, but if you really need more words, then you could probably cut it. Also because it may or may not work with the character, depending on how observant Lauryne is — after all, you would probably have to be paying pretty close attention to what paper was used to figure this out

reached down to hold it in her hands
You could probably delete “in her hands,” as it’s kind of implied

iii. The Ambulance’s Arrival for the Injured Origami
Super nit picky thing here, but you’ve got a couple of double spaces in this line

and soon they heard the wailing, distressed sound of a siren in the distance.
You can probably delete this, as you say “within minutes” at the start of your next section, and it makes this a bit redundant and unnecessary

Within minutes the ambulance pulled up to the curb outside the sword store, and Lauryne, Jess, and the shopkeeper ran out to meet it.
Can probably delete “the sword store” and simplify all the people to “and they all went out to meet it”

Around the street and its sidewalks they could see various people with Band-Aids covering at least fifty percent of any exposed skin.
Maybe replace the first part with just “all around”? I think there’s also probably a way to shorten the second part of the sentence as well, but it’s not coming to me right at the moment-

We almost ran out of Band-Aids.
Since you say “Band-Aids” in the sentence before, I’d just end this at “We almost ran out.”

Another, a doctor based on his clothing (which was still gray and boring but at least had a small badge that said doctor. And he had a stethoscope around his neck and a mask over the lower half of his face, so obviously he was a doctor.) asked to know what they had called the ambulance for.
As fun as this part is, I do think that the stuff in parentheses does add a lot of words you could probably do without. Instead, you could remove it entirely or shorten it to just “(further confirmed by the patch reading ‘doctor’ on his gray uniform)” or something like that.

The frog was about to limp away and Lauryne and Jess were about to thank the doctor when a voice from behind them barked, “You there! You’re under arrest!”
I’d delete the part about how “The frog was about to limp away and…” because it doesn’t seem super necessary to this sentence. Also, maybe delete the “from behind them” part because it’s not critical for the audience to know where exactly this voice is coming from

“Who is under arrest?” Lauryne asked.
Probably not super necessary; I think Jess said enough? Also because the guy said “You there!”

The man from the sword store slowly backed away and returned to his place inside, behind the counter, waiting for customers, although everybody else was so preoccupied with the presence of the police that they hardly even noticed he was gone.
This sentence feels a little long-winded, so I’d definitely cut from this. You can probably delete “slowly backed away” along with “behind the counter, waiting for customers” and replace “he was gone” with “his absence”

“All of you! You’re under arrest for assisting a magical creature; namely, this frog right here. Ohhh, he’s so cute! Was he injured? Ah, you fixed him up with a glue stick! Smart of you, Doctor. Now, I really do apologize for this but you will have to come with me. Come on, get in the car.”
You can probably take out “All of you!” and change the second sentence a bit so the transition is smoother, like through just “You’ve illegally assisted a magical creature…” Also, I do think that the switch between the “You’re under arrest!” and “Ohhh, he’s so cute!” is a bit abrupt, so I’d add maybe a moment for him to change his mind (such as looking at the frog in an action) or provide a bit more other context. It would also help to split up these dialogue a little more.

Okay, so after reading a bit further, it seems he’s supposed to be a bit more of a morally gray character in this, yes? An officer of the law he doesn’t necessarily agree with? I think if you could clarify that in the midst of the dialogue just a littleee more (again, a pause between the two parts would be good to do this) and then it would be perfect

The policeman gestured towards his police car, and the three of them squeezed into the back seat. Lauryne didn’t know where the frog went, but she assumed he must have escaped. The police car drove down a few streets–all filled with anti-magic propaganda–until it reached a gray brick building.
The first “police car” can be changed to just “car” and the second to “they” — both of which will eliminate redundancy and also free up words for you!

Once she had settled into a semi-comfortable position on the thin mattress and scratchy blanket—leaning against the hard bricks behind her, legs dangling over the rail of the bed—she remembered where she was and sighed.
I’d delete the parts between the em dashes! Not super crucial to know exactly how she’s sitting, right?

“It was breakfast for dinner tonight,” Lauryne said.
“That’s okay. Jail food probably isn’t that bad.”
Hands-down the best exchange thus far. I love it. Nearly laughed out loud in the car, ahaha

Lauryne said nothing. She stared at a small patch on the ceiling where the bland paint was missing. The two of them sat in silence for a while, and then there was an odd noise.
I’d change and rearrange this a little bit! Maybe something like “The two of them sat in silence, Lauryne staring at a patch of peeling paint on the ceiling. An odd noise interrupted her thoughts.”

The rumbling grew louder, and then there was a thump that rattled the walls. Jess told Lauryne to get down from the bunk bed, and for once Lauryne appreciated logic. There were more thumps, and then some cracking and more thumps. Finally the wall crumbled to pieces.
I’d switch this slightly to something like “The rumbling grew louder, and Jess told Lauryne…The rumbling grew to thumping and that to crackling. Finally…” because it eliminates some words and also means you only use “thump” or one of its derivatives only once in the paragraph as opposed to three times

Lauryne coughed; the dust tasted like misfortune and the tragedy of original thought not being legal. It tasted like brick powder as well.
This is good! The one thing I’d suggest is to change “the tragedy of original thought not being legal” to “the tragedy of the illegality of original thought” because it just seems more straightforward and sounds a bit more polished?

Everybody here was forced to be the same, because if they were a tiny bit different, that leads to being more different, which leads to thinking outside the box which is about half a step underneath imagination, which of course is not allowed.
Honestly? I’d delete this sentence. It’s a little bit long-winded and adds quite a few words that you don’t necessarily need. I personally love the stuff you said right before this, and I feel like ending with a poignant zeugma mixed with some humor is a better (and more consistent with your tone!) way to end this paragraph, which also sort of wraps up the end of this part a bit more nicely, in my opinion.

After the jail wall crashed down, it felt as though they were in a movie. Where the wall used to be there were the silhouettes (the sun happened to be directly behind them) of four sci-fi elephants and a girl with swoopy hair sitting atop the middle one. Their rescuers.
I’d move this to the next part! As I said before, I like the earlier line as a conclusion, hehehe
Another thing about this — you could probably also delete the part in parentheses, as it’s not super necessary

Now it was behind the elephants, and she could see the girl riding on top more easily. Her swoopy hair was lavender, which strongly contrasted her caramel-colored skin, and she wore a jacket with a logo that looked like a circle with a sword. Lauryne recognized it from the sword store earlier that day.
I’d simplify the first sentence to just “Now she could see the girl more easily.” Also, if you do end up taking up the part about the logo on the man of the sword store, I’d just say here that it looked familiar, and then have it dawn on her as she delivers the next line.

And my name is Freya.
Personally, I’d switch this to “I’m Freya,” which is both shorter and seems like a more natural thing to say

Hop onto one of these elephants and let’s go.
I’d have Freya pat the side of an elephant (to break up the dialogue) and just simplify the dialogue to “Hop on, and let’s go.”

“We aren’t an organization solely of spies, but yes, we do have a few agents who gather information.”
“Told you so.”
“Now is not the time for told-you-so’s!
“I don’t trust her. She has spies. And your name doesn’t mean anything, Freya. You could be anybody. And you have spies–”
“You already said that, find another reason.”
“I did? Oh. Well, she’s part of some organization and she has elephants and can break us out of jail… wait, how did you get those elephants?”
I’d add some dialogue tags here, because I’m kind of confused as to who is speaking when.

Laurnye got on the elephant, careful to avoid paper cuts. Jess got on and sat behind her, also wary of papercuts.
You can combine these two sentences!! Maybe something like “In turn, the each got on the elephant, careful to avoid papercuts.”

But what does.. Why did you free them?
Just a note that you’ll need another dot for the ellipsis! I’m pretty sure that was just a super minor mistake, but I thought I’d let you know anyway.

What does that do”
Missing a question mark here!

“You guys are so silly.” Freya said.
Super nit picky again, but you’ll want a comma inside the quotations instead of a period

As they stood in front,
A little redundant, so you can probably delete this!

Alrighttt, so honestly, that’s pretty much all I can think of right now. A few kind of important quick notes:

1. Really sorry again for being blunt — I just couldn’t be bothered by some point to make fancy sentences, so I kind of just dropped the main point in here, which I now realize might not have the intended constructive effect I was hoping for.
2. I commented a lot on things you could change, but I didn’t really comment on things that I loved about this piece! That’s definitely not to say that there weren’t things I loved about this short story, because there totally were. So definitely don’t underrate yourself or feel bad, because I definitely enjoyed the lightheartedness and humor of your piece!!
3. Probably most important and the reason for numbers 1 and 2, but I’ve been doing this first on an iPad and keyboard (which has a super annoying massive delay between typing seeing the things show up) and also on my phone while in the car, so seeing as typing is currently really annoying, I just tried to avoid saying too much when I didn’t need to.

Alright, a few other things! I’m not sure that this would cut the full 800 (thereabouts) words, so here are a few ways I’d recommend going about cutting the rest of them if you need to:

1. Cut the mini titles (seeing as it’s all one piece and not a collection, it’s not the most necessary to have them)
2. Cut “the end” like you said
3. Read it out loud like two or three times. The whole thing. You might feel a little idiotic, but it’s seriously helpful. See what doesn’t feel natural and change that. If you feel like you’re consistently stumbling over a part, it’s probably because it’s kind of long-winded or confusing, so those kinds of things are always worth another look.
4. Look for words that could be combined (like “I am” to “I’m”) and change them to their shorter counterparts when the rhythm still works like that
5. Command+F for the word “that” — it can actually be unnecessary in a lot of circumstances
6. Look for places where you’re being a little redundant and remove or combine those bits!!

I did my weekly three on rewriting with concision, so if it’s helpful for you to have that, I’m happy to share it with you.

Anyway! Good luck with this piece!

Last edited by SnowdropSugar (July 24, 2025 21:07:50)

SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

July 24th, 2025 Daily:

Tell me, Atlas. What is heavier: the world or its people’s hearts?
~Darshana Suresh


***

Atlas was never cursed, not the way you’d think.

For centuries on end, he had been carrying the weight of the heavens on his bare shoulders — that much was true, but the rumors speaking of his ill-fated decision to side against the Olympians in the Titanomachy had it all wrong. Zeus may have done his best to paint him as the villain, may have even convinced the whole universe of his stories, but even if Atlas was the only one to know it, the truth still mattered.

I suppose, dear readers, I should clarify: Atlas was never cursed for treason, for the shame of fighting for the Titans and not the Olympians. But Atlas was cursed in another way.

Atlas was cursed with shoulders too weak for the task, and every breath he took was not a relief but instead a sharp puncturing of the lungs. Every rib in his chest had broken under the weight of the expanses, and pain came with every movement.

Atlas was cursed with shoulders too weak and a heart too big for the task.

Zeus had taken him and the other eleven Olympians aside (as if he, Atlas, would ever have been equal to them in the first place), saying that someone had to do the job. There was dispute, each talking over each other, for holding up the heavens was not a job for the weak-willed. It meant leaving behind everything for the good of the world, and it meant condemning yourself to a life of isolation. It meant you were no longer of this place; you would be an outsider.

Is it any surprise that none of the Olympians volunteered?

Even Zeus himself, who had long since praised himself for being the highest standard, refused to take this job, saying it was not for the most high. Atlas had looked from side to side, waiting for a hand to go up. And there was nothing.

So he put his own up. “I’ll do it,” he told Zeus.

Despite the chatter circulating around the room saying that he is not one of us, is he even fit for the job?, Zeus nodded. “Tomorrow, then. Olympus — and the world — thanks you.”

Only, the thanks lasted for too short a time.

The world has grown heavier as the oceans are filled with more tears than natural sea. The world has grown heavier as our hearts have turned to stone and lead and we refuse to let each other in. And no matter what, Atlas has not said a thing, although his heart has grown heavier and heavier just like the world and the rest of us. He has not said a thing about the way his body must be crumbling and weathered from the hatred and weight.

Someone had to hold the worlds up. Someone had to take the burden.

It’s just a real shame, though, isn’t it? That the one who was kind enough to hold the world was the one to be scorned for that very action?
~
Word count: 518 words
SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

“To Lie in a Bed of Roses” | Snowy’s July ‘25 Fanfic Entry
2,000 words

***

Lumière looks beautiful tonight. Everyone around is harvesting the best flowers of the season, vendors set up their stalls in the square, and the statue in the center of town is shined and cleaned.

For all its shortcomings, I love this place. Lumière. I’ve known for ages I was never going to have children (and no, it’s not that I don’t care about the next generation — I just refuse to bring kids into a world where they won’t get a chance to grow up), but I still want the best for our posterity. I hope they love this place the way I do.

~From the diary of Sophie Beaumont, April 22nd, 39 days until Gommage

***

Both Mr. and Mrs. Dubois are younger than me, but these last few days, they’ve been taking care of me. Whether through their excellent cooking or attentiveness to my every need, they’ve been the best hosts I could ask for.

Not long ago, I decided to sell my house. What’s the point of keeping it, anyway? I have no family left, and without me, it’d just stand empty. Better to get the money — not that I’ve got anything to spend it on, with today being the Gommage. But I’ll put it toward something that’ll outlast me, do a little good in someone else’s life. The orphanage would be perfect.

Mrs. Dubois — Alice, she insists I call her — seems like she’s trying to hold back tears. She and her husband are only thirty to my thirty-three, so they have a couple of years left, but it only means two more years of goodbyes.

There are tears in my eyes as well, but I refuse to let them spill over. The hardest goodbye is yet to come. Instead, I clear my throat and attempt to find words to adequately thank them for all they’ve done. “Thank you. Alice. Jules.” I look at each of them in turn. “These last few days meant everything.”

“And you, Sophie. Thank you for…for this time, even if it was short. We’ll be keeping you in our thoughts.” Jules speaks for the both of them; Alice is nodding along but silent.

I reach out and touch Jules’s shoulder, expecting him to make eye contact with me, but he nods in the direction behind me, as if gesturing for me to turn. And I do.

A face from the past emerges from the shadows. Gustave?

“Could we talk?” he asks.

***

Today is my thirty-third birthday, which means I’m only getting closer to the Paintress. And yet, instead of thinking of my all-too-imminent end, my thoughts circle back to one person.

It’s pathetic, I know, but I can’t help thinking that four years ago today, I was celebrating with him, the two of us vowing that Expedition 37 would deliver us from our fates. I can’t help remembering how I said I didn’t need any gifts, and still, he showed up at my door with a messily-wrapped box. Inside, I found a photo album of the two of us across the years. Us as children, when our parents were still alive. Us attending Lumière’s college together. Us as neighbors and friends and something more.

And empty pages for us to fill.

Then I held out my hand to him, and he took it, his palm warm against mine. He leaned in closer, and I met his brown eyes like I must have a hundred times before. I don’t remember which one of us closed the gap that time, but when our lips met, I swear, I’ve never felt so electric.

Only weeks later, we broke it off, the both of us citing reasons not entirely real.

We never did fill those empty pages, and I fear we never will. The day we went our separate ways will be forever in my head, and I’ll always regret it. I only hope we might repair what we once had before the Paintress takes that opportunity from us as well.

~From the diary of Sophie Beaumont, May 1st, 30 days until Gommage

***

After a quick embrace, the Duboises leave us to reconnect.

Gustave, looking just the same as he used to, only now, his hair’s a little messier, his face a little sadder, his eyes a little darker.

It’s only a few steps to meet him, but I’m near breathless when I speak. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

It’s funny — you can know a person so well, and yet, a few years of distance can make all the difference. I know how he takes his coffee (cream, no sugar — though he wants you to think he prefers it black) but not who he’s been seeing, what he’s been doing.

“So,” I begin, because in all my visions of this conversation, I have never been speechless. “It’s been a while.”

He laughs, and it’s like music. “It really has been.” A pause, and me, holding onto every word and the moments in between.

“So, how’s it been—?” he asks, as I say, “What have you been—?” and before either of us has finished a sentence longer than four words, we’ve already interrupted each other.

“You go,” I tell him.

He glances down at the chain of red and white flowers around my neck, then to one in his hands. A rose, I realize. “Is there room for another?” he says, almost nervously.

“There’s always room,” I reply. He pins his addition to it and steps back, admiring it. I, too, look down to see his gift in all its glory. “Oh,” I murmur, “It’s beautiful.”

“Walk with me?” he asks, tentative, like a schoolboy.

My response takes no thought. “Okay.”

It has always been my answer to him.


***

I’m not fully sure why, but I’ve asked Gustave’s apprentices to fix his uniform, to append his badge to it: 33.

When I told them of their task, I was met with a chorus of “But how?” and it took me a second to remember that not everyone knows how to sew like I do.

“Look, I’ll teach you,” I said to them. So I did.

I haven’t seen the finished product yet, but I hope it’s flawed in all the right ways. I hope, Gustave, you’ll love it.

~From the diary of Sophie Beaumont, May 15th, 16 days until Gommage

***

“So, the Gommage. Are you…are you… I mean, have you thought about…” He trips over his words as he speaks; his steps are graceful the way his language is not.

“Still can’t finish your sentences, can you?” I quip. “That hasn’t changed.”

He nudges my shoulder with his. “And you still can’t help making fun of me for it, can you?”

“I’ll stop when you do.”

He halts, and our footsteps must still be in time from before, for I stop only shortly after. “Okay, but really. Have you thought about it?”

I shake my head. “No. I prefer not to.”

“Right, yes. If you pretend it doesn’t exist,” he says, “then nothing’s wrong. Did I get that?”

It’s almost painful how well he knows me. “I just don’t want to spend my last day thinking about the fact that there won’t be any more tomorrows,” I say simply. Thankfully, his apprentices scamper up, holding a leather bag — it must be his uniform. “Oh, look who’s here!”

Guillaume, Alexandre, and Adrien are Gustave’s honorary family. Together, they present Gustave with the gift. He bends down to hug each of them, and when he looks back at me, his eyes are sparkling.

“Put it on!” they order as he unwraps it, and I can’t deny I want to see how it turned out, too.

”Alright, fine. Just give me a minute.”

He comes back dressed in Expedition 33 attire, looking like the hero he was born to be. His apprentices chatter about how easy it was to mend, how he should have just done it himself, before bidding him goodbye.

And then it’s just us.

He lifts an eyebrow. “I take it this was your doing?”

“I wanted to do something. For you.” The uniform has changed him in a way I can’t explain. “You know, Gustave…I never faulted you for wanting to change. You’re fighting. To change things.”

I mean to stop, but more words tumble out before I can help it, my usual eloquence gone. “And sometimes at night, I’m just thinking about in a different world, what could we have been? Maybe we wouldn’t be standing here right now, or maybe we wouldn’t have spent the last few years apart, or maybe…”

He gives me a small smile. “Look who can’t finish her sentences now,” he remarks.

“I just…in a different world.” I inhale shakily. Get it together. “You asked me about the Gommage, and the truth is, it’s not about dying. But I look back, and you’ve done all this, and I haven’t left anything behind worth remembering.”

“Hey, hey, that’s not true. Legacy can take many forms, yeah? You taught me that.”

“This is your legacy,” I say, nodding to the fabric tied around his prosthetic arm.

He meets my eyes. “In a way, it’s yours, too.” And for Lumière’s sake, I want him to be right.

***

I’ve attended many Gommages. My parents’. My older brother’s. My friends’. It’s hard to believe that this time, it’s going to be mine that we’re celebrating. This time, I’m not going to be the one who has to find a way to move on, but rather the one who forces others to move on.

I have my hopes for who will come: Gustave, of course. Maelle — she’s a sweet girl; I wish I’d known her better. The rest of the Expeditioners, maybe, so they know what they’re fighting for.

I’ve always wanted to be the person who doesn’t have any regrets at the end, but I’m not. I think I’ve done an okay job, though.

I’ve had a short life, but I’d like to say I’ve lived it well.

~From the diary of Sophie Beaumont, May 30th, 1 day until Gommage

***

At the moment the sun hits the horizon, the numbers will change, signifying another year gone. This year, it’s the thirty-three-year-olds. Me.

It’s custom to meet at the harbor with your loved ones, so maybe it means something, but I close my fingers around Gustave’s hand and tug him toward the pier. From here, it’s a waiting game.

For a while, the two of us are silent, because what more is there to say? Any goodbye of mine will only feel more final. Gustave’s right. I’m still thinking I can deny this truth until it isn’t real.

Around us, children cling desperately to their mothers and fathers. Lovers lean against each other, wondering if they’ll remain together in death. Longtime friends share one last conversation.

Gustave throws rocks at the Paintress, like he always has, and I know him well enough to know he’s thinking he can destroy her from afar. It’s never done anything, but I think it makes him feel a little less powerless.

The sun dips closer and closer to the water, and eventually, it’s touching. And, perfectly timed, the numbers change. No.

The world blurs to a watercolor, and I don’t even notice I’m crying until Gustave wipes a tear from my cheek, as if there aren’t even more streaming down his own face. People disappear in their own time, fading until all that’s left are petals in the wind and empty spaces where our loved ones should stand.

“I’m here,” Gustave whispers, squeezing my hand.

“I know,” I say, my voice breaking. “I know.”

I imagined it would be something like letting go, but it’s only like drifting. It’s peaceful, in a way.

I hope the last image Gustave has of me isn’t of me crying as I say goodbye. I hope it’s of me surrounded by pages I’ve written and roses and love. I hope it’s of us.

Our time was short, but maybe there was enough good in it to make it worthwhile.

This fan fiction is based upon Clair Obscur, a video game I’ve started playing with my dad this year. I love every single thing about this game — the art, the music, the story, the characters, everything. I went back and forth about what I wanted to do for my entry for a little while (other ideas were to write the storyline of Gris or to write Maelle’s backstory), but ultimately, I decided upon Sophie’s story. She’s more of a minor character in the story, in the sense that she only appears for a few minutes in the cutscene. That I know of.

So I’m actually nowhere near done playing this game (as of writing this, I’ve only just started Act II), so I almost certainly have a bunch of things wrong. But this is the kind of game and story that is so good that there’s no way I’m going to spoil it for myself — honestly part of the reason I chose to look at Sophie instead of Maelle. Also because Sophie is such a sweet character, and I love the dynamic between her and Gustave, even if it only lasts for a short while.

This piece does use some lines from Clair Obscur itself and some that are more inspired but based upon the interactions between Sophie and Gustave. I’d rewatch the cutscenes to figure out precisely which ones those are, but I’m a little bit scared to, again, spoil it for myself. If you are interested in watching the first cutscenes, you can find them here.

I did take a bit of creative freedom with this as well. Some of the lines in this weren’t from the game at all, and to my knowledge, Sophie’s diary does not exist. (Of course, I say this having only played a short bit of the game.) I did my best to keep their personalities consistent with what was in the game and what seemed accurate based on lines and such, but there may be mistakes — which are all mine.

I hope you enjoy reading this fan fiction as much as I enjoyed writing it, and here’s your sign to play Clair Obscur <3
~
Thank you to:
• Everyone involved in the making of Clair Obscur
• My dad for making me play the game
• My sister, dad, and friends for enduring my rambling about the game
• Kiara for critiquing this entry

Last edited by SnowdropSugar (July 26, 2025 16:34:39)

SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

July 25th, 2025 Daily:

Today is the day of our great escape. We haven’t yet got all the finer details planned out, but Sony says we’ll figure them out along the way. Neo, on the other hand, bites his lip nervously every time Sony mentions how we should all just live by spontaneity, because it’s the superior form to logic. Neo values his logic, and he’s always liked the planning of our heists better than the stealing themselves, never mind whether they’re the stealing of candy and sunglasses or of something greater, like our lives.

Time will cease. Disease will fester. Death will die.

Today, we pack our bags full of snacks (Neo’s full of apples, of course, because it’s pretty much the only thing he’ll eat now) and fake IDs so we can go anywhere we want. If anyone asks us where our parents are, Hikari is just going to say that Sony is our adoptive mother. Sony looks older than she is — though she acts younger.

Like Coeur, I’m not a good liar. So it’s going to have to be either Sony, Neo, or Hikari who does the talking for the rest of us, because false words just don’t sit right on both Coeur’s and my lips.

“Ready?” Sony says, and her voice is sunshine and fire, like always.

Hikari nods. “Ready.”

Sony looks toward the rest of us for confirmation, and Neo, Coeur, and I nod. How we’re going to escape is another matter, but maybe Sony has something up her sleeve that she hasn’t told the rest of us yet.

There’s a whole world out there, a whole world that my friends have hardly seen, and yet, I want to show it to them. If only the bridge did not stand in the way. If only the place where befores met after were not quite so unfortunately placed.

Don’t think about it, I tell myself. It’s a lot harder than one would expect. Just grit your teeth and get through it.
~
Word count: 331 words
SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

Hey, Fi! I’m here to do a critique for you, hehe- Anyway, I’ll be writing this as I go, so like. If anything is clarified later in the story that I did not understand at first, keep in mind that this is on my first read through, so it’s probably fine! I’ll do my best to refer to the things that I’ve previously mentioned if they come up again later, too. (I’m sorry if I’m not making sense right now, sobbing-)

Anyway, Scratch forums kind of hate my iPad and stuff (there’s this massive delay and it’s wildly annoying), so I’m doing this on Google Docs, so there’s not going to be a ton of formatting on all of this because it’s just a lot harder. Okay, moving onto the critique!

Okay, firstly, can I say that I love your second sentence? It’s so fun, ahaha <3

Anyway, so I feel like the last sentence of your first paragraph (“The cashier asks if they’re paying together…”) is a little bit long-winded, so I would definitely think about splitting that up into two sentences or something. Maybe take out the “and” right before the line “the girl says…” and make a new sentence there? Another thing (this one is super nitpicky, sorry), but you do use “and” twice very close to each other in that sentence, (“and the boy says…and before the girl can reply”), so I’d change the first of those two to “while,” making it “while the boy says…”

I feel like the second sentence of the second paragraph (“The girl looks at the boy…”) feels a little bit unnatural. I get the feeling you’re trying to establish a kind of contrast between the two of them, but I also do feel like it makes it kind of…I don’t know, off? Maybe rewording this slightly to have the same meaning but a slightly different setup would be better. Perhaps something like, “The girl looks at the boy, but his eyes are fixed on a point {describe said point here}.”

Same thing about breaking up the sentence in the third sentence of the second paragraph (“‘Nathaniel,’ he says, and…”). It seems like there are too many parts to the sentence, and while it’s perfectly grammatically correct and I totally understand what you mean, it does make the flow a little bit wonky. Also the fourth sentence of the second paragraph (“They sit in a booth in the back…”). I think the “even though” part does add a nice bit of variation from what you’ve got earlier, but I think you might want to either a) cut some of the other ones that follow it or b) reword them to keep that variation, or else it does revert back to being a little more repetitive.

Okay, so the dialogue that comes right after? Oh my goodness, it’s awesome. Super realistic, I think, and it definitely does a great job of revealing the character personalities. Plus, it’s super fun to read, and the banter definitely breaks up the description very nicely.

One small thing here — you’ve used the dialogue tag “says” a lot, which unlike teachers say, “said” and its variations can actually be super good since they allow you to focus on the words a little bit more. However, I do feel like here, you need to change it up just a littleee bit more, because you’ve got super strong dialogue, and I think it would make it hit even harder if your dialogue tags emphasized certain qualities about their styles of speaking. Plus, it would also help with revealing the characters and stuff. Definitely don’t do it for all of them, obviously, because then that’s just too much. But I think sprinkling in some other dialogue tags and changing them up a little bit (like maybe placement in the sentence as well — you’ve got a lot that come after the dialogue but not so many that come before or that interrupt the dialogue) would help with it!

(By the way, “Takes one to know one” and “That’s the varnish” are AWESOME lines, particularly how they’re placed in the story.)

About the sentence “The boy rolls to his feet…” Does he actually roll to his feet? Or is that meant to be metaphorically? It’s possible I’m taking this a bit too literally, but I don’t really see someone somersaulting to their feet in the midst of a cafe. Anyway, it’s definitely worth a little bit more thought! Either that, or maybe you could use a little more description to make it a bit clearer.

Again, wonderful banter, and it’s definitely what I would expect from this kind of character dynamic, so well done there, haha. It’s a lot of fun to read, and I’m definitely looking forward to unveiling more of the characters as I read the dialogue.

ALSO!! The way the girl is kind of questioning the boy and stuff…it’s truly done perfectly. Just curious enough to make it real, but also just detached enough to make it fit her character and her dynamic with the boy.

”I don’t wonder about strangers.” OH MY GOODNESS, WOW. THAT WAS A SPECTACULAR DELIVERY, BOTH ON YOUR PART AND YOUR CHARACTER’S. Definitely super fitting once again. And the paragraph afterward!! So good, screaming-

All of the banter is actually awesome and truly well-placed. Also the way you include some stutters and pauses as they speak, that’s really nice because it makes it feel really real, and I can get a better idea of how they’re saying it in my head as well.

“He's a language she doesn't speak, but she's heard its sound so often, she's starting to recognize its phrases.” Wow. Fi, go and reread that really quickly, okay? That’s an amazing line. It’s SO powerful.

The girl has some truly awesome lines, by the way. It’s the kind of thing I would 100% quote to my friends, even if they had no idea what I was referencing.

I do think the sentence “The boy looks at the girl for several seconds…” is a little bit off here? Specifically that part of the sentence. It doesn’t quite fit the flow, and also, it’s a bit on the vague side. How is he looking at her? Is he fighting his instincts not to tell her his name? Is he scared of what might happen if he does? I think that’s probably the last thing you could do to add a little bit more depth to the character.

AAAA, the ending is so perfect and I love it so much <3

General Stuff to Work On:

• Variation in dialogue tags! Placement, replacing a few of the “says”s with some other things (“responds,” “replies,” and “tells {person}” are really nice neutral ones that I like to use, but some more emotion-packed ones would be good as well!)
• Variation in sentence structure! This definitely gets better as you read on (I noticed it more in the first half than the second), so maybe breaking up sentences and using some more, say, complex sentences and really short sentences would help with this. You tend to use a lot of compound sentences connected by “and,” so I’d probably prioritize looking at that!
• This is something I didn’t mention so much earlier, but I think if you could add just a little bit more action to mix up the dialogue parts, then that’d definitely be good, seeing as you have (in the later parts) dialogue as the majority of every paragraph. Obviously this would add words, but I do think it’s worth it to make space for some of this

Overall thoughts:

I love your writing style and the little sprinkles of humor in it! It’s super cool, the way you’ve got an omniscient narrator, and it’s really well pulled off. You’ve got a great story, and your dialogue is SUPERB, have I mentioned that already? Anyway, best of luck to you with this piece! I had a wonderful time reading this.

Other notes:

Also, I’m so sorry if any of this sounds blunt or mean, slkdjflsk- I’ve just stressed myself out about the writing comp, so it’s probably (unfortunately) coming across in my critiques as well. And I’m also sorry about the lack of formatting here, sobbing- And the fact that this is probably super ramble-y and not a great critique, but I hope that there were bits of it that were still helpful to you.
SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

Hey, Kiara! I’m doing this on Google Docs and not on Scratch Forums (because Scratch forums can be really annoying with my iPad, like there’s this super irritating delay and whatever) so anyway, my apologies in advance for the lack of nice formatting and stuff. Anyway, I’m here to give you some critique!

Firstly, wow, what a powerful beginning that was. Seriously, that opening paragraph was amazing.

One small thing — I’d probably combine the second paragraph and first paragraph, because I think they do flow into each other very nicely, and you do have another short paragraph right after (paragraph three), so it might work better to just combine the first two so you can make that third one a bit more impactful!

The line “I am a machine.” While it’s true according to what you told me in advance about this piece, I don’t think it’s something that someone, even if they truly are a machine, you know? And maybe it is meant to be a bit more stilted to give that effect, which I would understand, but I think that either to change that line slightly or just delete it entirely would be better, because “Grief is not in my programming” is SUCH a strong line and would be a really good standalone, I think.

Also, you seem to have a tense switch with the “Grief is not in my programming” and the “There has been nothing for me to do…” sentences, as you go to present tense from past (or past perfect in some cases, I think). Not sure if that’s intentional, but I just thought I’d let you know about that!

Ooh, okay, the rest of that paragraph and the paragraphs after? They do a really lovely job of humanizing someone — something — that isn’t human, and I think that definitely takes a lot of skill and careful thought to do, so great job on that, Kiara <3

In the “Another life…” sentence, I’d probably delete the “who” because it just makes it flow a little better, in my opinion.

Another small, pretty nitpicky thing here, but you’ve got a comma after “He rolled his eyes” and I’m pretty sure that it should be a period seeing as it’s not a dialogue tag!!

The sheer amount of emotion you put into the house that’s trying so hard to convince itself that it’s not able to or allowed to feel…it’s really well done, and you should be proud of yourself.

Okay, so later, the house is calling itself a “failure” for forgetting, which I do find a little contradictory to something you said earlier about its remembering being a failure or against what the Creators would want for it, you know? I’m not sure if that was intentional or not, but I figured that I’d let you know anyway.

In the sentence, “Lukas touched a picture on the mantle…” I feel like the second part (after the em dash) doesn’t quite have the same flow or doesn’t go super well with the rest of the sentence? I think the meaning is great and helpful to the storyline (plus Lukas’s putting it face down, which is really interesting), but I think you might want to reword it so it sounds a little better with the rest of it? Maybe describe it a little more or something in a separate sentence? Or combine it with the first part of the sentence? I can’t really think of a concrete answer for you right now, but that’s just what I can think of at the moment.

For “I was so focused on self-preservation…” I think it’s all really interesting, and I love the meaning, but I do think another sentence afterward would clarify it a little bit more, because it’d make it like. More impactful — the kind of defiance against serving and stuff, assuming that’s what you’re intending.

Same with “I was cut off…” I think there should be a period there as opposed to a comma, once again because it’s not a dialogue tag.

In the “All my systems, all the things…” sentence, I’d probably replace “all my life” with “my whole life” or something like that. It’s effectively the same thing, but it does eliminate one use of the word “all” that’s not super crucial to any repetition, in my personal opinion.

“Because I could help Lukas, I knew I could.” Wow. That’s really powerful, particularly paired with the stuff that comes right before it.

Lukas’s dialogue also does a marvelous job of revealing his character; you’re not telling us outright what kind of person he is, but you’re showing us through his words and actions. It’s really well-done — show not tell at its finest, haha

After the “She said it was for me…” dialogue, by the way, I think the H in “he” should be lowercase! Again, super small and super nitpicky, sorry.

Okay, so I’m not going to point this out anymore because I feel like I’m being annoying, but just so you know, you’ve got another comma as opposed to a period in the “He was immediately on guard again” part. I’d just read through this again looking for that kind of thing! I promise I’ll stop saying the same thing over and over again now, sobbing-

“From his father, most likely.” I’m critiquing this as I go, so I don’t yet know the whole story behind the father, but I do think revealing a little bit of information here would be good. Maybe a few like short, disconnected bits of information or something in the form of memories would be good? I’m not sure, but I think this would definitely benefit from a little bit of backstory reveal.

Oh my goodness, the whole scene with the video of Marcy and the “Marcy never liked goodbyes” line? Oh my goodness, Kiara, it’s so wonderfully done.

Another small nitpicky thing, but you’ve got another capital letter where it should be a lowercase in the dialogue tag of the “Thank you, House” sentence.

Okay, last bit of critique! I would probably cut the “So I took a moment…” sentence (second to last in the story) as well as the “I felt” because I feel like the “And I felt grief, but I also felt comfort. | Yes, I felt” line is more powerful and a stronger ending. So maybe move that to the end, and then that puts the “No matter how many days…” part right next to the “I had stopped counting” sentence, which seems like a more logical flow. But the ending is so beautiful; I love it so much

Overall, you did a wonderful job with this, Kiara. I wasn’t sure what this would be like when I first read your description, but after reading it, it’s just become so much more powerful. It’s kind of like. The places we’ve been have a soul, too, and we can, in a way, give that soul to the places and homes we love. It’s kind of a universal theme of love put into a circumstance you wouldn’t normally think of. You personify a nonliving thing with elegance, and you humanize the robotic house through the contradictions of emotions and rules. Everything I commented on was super nitpicky, but that’s honestly just because I loved this story so much, and you did such a beautiful job of writing it. Congratulations on creating such a wonderful piece, and I wish you all the best of luck in the writing competition — though I doubt you’ll need it <333
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It was just a normal day in the life of Clarissa Suzanne Jenkins, and one must say, she sure was feeling like the world was going her way. To be fair, Clarissa always felt like that, even when it wasn’t (hence the “normal day”).

Today was one of the days where it wasn’t.

Correction: It started as a normal day in the life of Clarissa Suzanne Jenkins.

Clarissa would be having another date with her longtime boyfriend, Mark, and her best friend, Amanda, was fully sure that this would be the day that he would propose to her.

“Are you sure?” Clarissa had fretted. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to get all dressed up when it wouldn’t happen.”

Amanda had leaned her head on Clarissa’s shoulder before remembering that right, it wasn’t appropriate for a best friend to do that. “Well, you know Mark. He loves you lots. Trust me, today’s the day.”

”If you say so,” Clarissa had finally agreed.

And so Clarissa got dressed up in her best outfit (white sundress with POCKETS) and highest heels before waiting outside for Mark to pick her up for their date.

Finally, Mark arrived. Admittedly, he was right on time, but Clarissa was very impatient. After they drove to a secret garden — Mark’s favorite place on Earth, he always said.

“Suzanne,” he said, getting on one knee.

HE’S GOING TO DO IT, Clarissa thought.

Just then, Clarissa’s phone rang. “Give me a minute,” she said to Mark and picked up the phone.

“CLARISSA SUZANNE JENKINS,” came the voice on the other end, practically a shout. Her mother.

“Yes, mother?”

“Silly girl, you never come and visit me anymore. I didn’t even think you would pick up my call.” A huff. “Anyway. What are you doing?”

Clarissa glanced quickly at Mark. “Well, I’m on a date with Mark.” She lowered her voice before saying her next words. “Mother, I think…I think he’s going to propose to me.”

A pause. Then: “WHAT DID YOU SAY?! HE’S GOING TO PROPOSE?!”

Clarissa had to hold the phone a little further away from her ear. “Uhhh, yeah.”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON YOUR PHONE, THEN? GO TALK TO HIM. SAY YES. SAY YES.”

She sighed. “Yes, mother. Goodbye. I’ll come to visit you soon, I promise.” And then she hung up.

But when she looked back at Mark, he was no longer kneeling, just standing up. The ring he had pulled out earlier was nowhere to be seen.

“Forget it,” Mark said. “You’d prioritize your mother over me? I can’t believe you.”

“But, Mark!” she protested. “You know her health hasn’t been so good lately! I know your relationship with your dad isn’t so great, but that’s not true for everyone.”

Mark ran his fingers through his hair. “Clarissa, it’s not that. I don’t care about that; I’m glad you and your mom have a good relationship. But I was proposing, and you just picked up a call.”

As he spoke, Clarissa did begin to see his side of the argument. She supposed she couldn’t blame him.

“So I’m done, okay?” Mark turned then and stalked off, taking the car in which Clarissa had arrived in right along with him. Great. Now she was left boyfriendless and without a ride home.

She breathed out heavily, trying not to cry, and then she dialed another number on her phone. Amanda picked up within two rings.

“Amanda?” Clarissa asked, “Would you pick me up?”

With her ride figured out, now all that was left was to figure out how to get Mark back. That was the more difficult of the two problems, that was for sure.

What was she to do?

Firstly, she could apologize. Yes. But how do you apologize for something as big as that? Perhaps a speech would work. A presentation. Something like that, maybe. She would figure it out with Amanda once she arrived.

As if summoned by her thoughts, Amanda’s bright pink car pulled up just then. “So, darling, how did it go?” Although. Amanda already had a sneaking suspicion that something was wrong.

“He…he dumped me,” Clarissa whispered. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking…I don’t know, a presentation, some super over the top way to apologize?”

Amanda looked at Clarissa (perhaps not the best idea, given that she was the driver). “Look, you just need to figure out who you are, okay? Not who you are with Mark, but who YOU are.”

Clarissa nodded. “Oh, okay. How do I do that?”

“Welllll…” Amanda said, dragging out the word. “You don’t need a wedding to Mark, you know?”

Suddenly, Clarissa perked up. “Wait, I know! I’ll have a wedding to myself!”

Amanda giggled. “Yes, that’s perfect! It can be your own DIY wedding.”

“Because I don’t need Mark! Who needs a boyfriend anyway? Why have a wedding to someone when you can have one to yourself?” Clarissa said.

“Now you get it!” Amanda exclaimed.

And thus began the planning of Clarissa’s DIY wedding.
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lesser-known epics (i was atlas in the challenger deep) | Author’s Note
Project version
Forum version

At a first glance, you’ll probably notice that I’ve written this entire collection (save for a few titles) in lowercase letters.

Oftentimes, I’ll use just lowercase letters intentionally and stylistically to convey a particular message. Here, I felt that it accurately embodied the uncertainty of this collection which stems from the contradiction and juxtaposition of it, and I wanted to have a visual representation of how at times like the ones mentioned in the collection, one can feel inconsequential. This style is something I’ve always used particularly when I do feel, to put it simply, small.

Below are some other notes I’ve written on this collection, analyzing some specific lines and telling you the reasons why I’ve used them, in addition to explaining some of the references I’ve made. I’ve tried not to give you a totally concrete understanding of this collection, because I find that by taking away the ambiguity and mystery, you lose the importance of the thought that comes with arriving at your own conclusions. Yes, I had one in mind when I was writing this, but to me, one of the most important things about writing is reading is the ability for everyone to put together their own interpretation.

Thank you for reading.

***

Epigraphs: “Epigraph” is always something I’ve always found as a cool word, and the second part is kind of a play on words. Epigraphs are an introductory piece of writing on an inscription. The second part, however, “epigraphs / inscribed upon stone…” is intended to refer to a very similar word, epitaphs. While only two letters off from each other, the implications of both of these words are incredibly different. An epitaph, unlike epigraphs, are phrases written in memory of someone who has died, typically on a tombstone, hence the play on words. I found the irony of an introductory message being left on a grave fascinating, and it kind of joins the beginnings and ends in an interesting way, to me.

“to differentiate / or to honor / their sacrifices”: In addition to the later lines “what more was / one single name?”, this line asks if the casualties of the war the narrator is speaking of even matter anymore, or if in the midst of so much destruction, the choices we make even affect anyone but ourselves.

“& the way our pasts & endings became our beginnings, finally”: Again, like the “epigraphs” line, it’s joining the beginnings and ends until it’s hard to tell the difference. Rebirth.

“hollow heartbeat”: This one’s a little hard to describe, but it’s based on a real feeling I get. Sometimes I’ll wake up and put my hand to my chest just to see if my heart is beating, and I’m not even sure I feel it anymore. It’s that feeling of being alive but not living, if that makes sense.

Atlas: I’ve always loved the myth of Atlas. It’s got so much metaphorical value, and it’s just always been something I’ve found interesting, so of course I included it. This was kind of the thing that made me think it’d be interesting to look at Greek mythology as a metaphor for a lot of this.

Atelophobia: The fear of imperfection, something I’ve had for a long time.

“we promised not to / let go of ourselves”: Something I’ve always struggled with is staying true to myself and who I want to be, you know? But that gets increasingly hard when it’s so hard to figure out who you are in the first place.

“not so much heartbroken as shocked”: It’s like that idea of not being able to feel. Sure, you can have a reaction, but sometimes, I’ll just genuinely not feel anything but empty. Hence the “heart stolen” line and this.

Helios: According to mythology, Helios was the sun personified.

Selene: According to mythology, Selene was the moon personified.

Dionysus: In mythology, Dionysus was born first of his mortal mother and then of Zeus when his mother, Semele, was dying. The “two alter egos” line refers to the fact that Dionysus was also known for his complex nature and dual personality, for at times, he was known for his joy and others for his brutal rage. Initially, I had this line I cut about being two people in the same body, which kind of clarifies this a little more, in addition to the “incarnation of my shadows & light” bit. I’m two people at once (haha, BLÜ EYES reference) all put into one body.

“there must be a / grave somewhere out there for me”: I fully acknowledge how temporary human beings are (like everything else), and I wanted this line to embody it and offer a contrast to the next.

“at our finest & worst all at once”: Juxtaposition and irony tend to be some main themes of a lot of my writing, and this isn’t any exception. This line refers to how easy it is (at least for me) to feel like you’re perfect yet simultaneously hate everything about yourself.

“save our souls do not let us die”: I think this is one of the only lines that wholly embodies the kind of desperation at these moments. It’s like, you’ve got the one side that’s like fighting ourselves “for every breath we would take,” and then you’ve got the other that just wants so badly to live. It’s kind of contradictory, but the desperation comes from both sides.

Gaia: The personification of the Earth, in mythology.

“i blame the bitter cold for changing me / into someone even i no longer recognize”: A bit of a contradiction with the next part about homesickness, but when I moved, I moved to Singapore, a tropical island country that’s warm all year round. So this is kind of a juxtaposition — after all, how can a place such as that have anything like the bitter cold? It’s also a look at seasonal depression at first glance. However, I chose this line more for its metaphorical value; “bitter cold” refers to the harshness of the world.

“& i blame my unending / homesickness for the confusion of who i am”: I moved five years ago, and ever since I visited my hometown last year, I’ve just been hit with these overwhelming waves of homesickness. Of course, it’s something I’ve felt in the years that I’ve left, but since I’ve been back, it’s only gotten stronger, and I’ve realized that it’s gotten even harder to discern who I am. I don’t quite belong where I am now, but I’m not the same person as I used to be, and therefore, being home felt a little like being a stranger, even though I’ve never stopped loving the place.

Icarus: In Greek mythology, Icarus and his father, Daedalus, escape from being imprisoned by King Minos through flying on wings made from wax and feathers. Daedalus instructs Icarus not to fly too close to the water, for the feathers would get soaked by the water, or the sun, or else the wax would melt. Icarus, however, ignores Daedalus’s warning, and he flew higher and higher until his wings melted and he fell into the ocean and drowned.

Hades: While Hades is known as the god of the Underworld in Greek mythology, he’s not actually the god of death himself. Unlike one might think, he was not the antagonist of the dead, nor is he inherently evil. He was simply in charge of keeping the Underworld.

Hestia: In Greek mythology, Hestia is the goddess of the hearth and home. Despite being one of the Olympians, she has few prominent myths about her individually. Instead, she serves more as a supporting character.

“half full”: A reference to the phrase “Is the glass half empty or half full?” I struggled with finding a title for this poem initially, but ultimately, I wanted to reflect the overall theme of this collection that in so much bad, there can be good, and as something of a letter to my younger self, I wanted to convey how I still hope she’ll grow up to be an optimist.

Last edited by SnowdropSugar (July 29, 2025 16:00:21)

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July 27th, 2025 Daily:

“Race you there!” she says, because between the two of us, everything is a competition. Whether it’s a game of who can read more books in a year or a race like this — who can run from the house to the ocean faster — that kind of competition was something that drove us. At times, I wished we could take a break from all the competing and just settle for a tie, but even so, even at all the times I hated it (or thought I did), I still can’t deny the fact that I must have loved it in at least equal measure.

Our home isn’t far from the beach — maybe a mile at the most? So when it’s summertime, the two of us will go down there almost every warm day. And on the cold days, too, which only entails more competition. When the water feels like it’s freezing cold, we have competitions like who can stay in the water for longer to test our endurance or who can swim from the shore to the edge of that inlet because there was just something about being the best.

Today, though, all we do is run through the reeds together at the edge of the water, both of us trying to be the first to dip our toes into the water — that heavenly, crystal-clear water. On summer days like this — warm, ninety degree days — being in the water was a pleasant sensation, not one for competing. On days like this, we would make up games together and play in the water instead of competing.

I’m forcing myself to run faster (which is most definitely harder than one might think, given that we’re in the sand) to beat her. And all my effort must help because I do reach the edge of the water faster than she does this time.

“That’s no fair!” she protests, panting between the words. “You only won because you’re older.”

“Sure,” I say, dragging out the word so she knows I’m being sarcastic. “But you’re the one who said it was a race in the first place, so you’ve got no one to blame for it but yourself.”

“Whatever.”

“Let’s go back and see the reeds or something. They’re really pretty today,” I tell my younger sister.

“What? No way. We came here so we could swim!” She pauses. “And besides, you say that every time.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true,” I retort. “C’mon, I want to take a photo or something.”
~
Word count: 417 words
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July 29th, 2025 Daily

…

Whether they were composed of lyrics so raw they could have been the poetry of my mind written in the hand of someone else or whether they were simply chords and melodies put together, as long as it could strike something in my heart, it would mean something.

Music was what restarted my heart when it stopped beating. Music was the line between real and imagined, and it kept me from straying too far into either world. Music was air in my lungs, blood in my veins, sunlight in my soul.

v.

Whether it’s the feeling of someone waiting for you before you leave the classroom or the way they want to know all about your summer (despite the fact that you’ve barely talked in months) when you come back in August or any other way in which it’s shown, we often forget to mention another kind of love: friendship.

We neglect the kind of love that’s often unspoken, because in failing to acknowledge it, we often forget the fact that it, too, counts.

I see it in the way my friends message me when they see something that reminds them of me — the way they get reminded of me in the first place. I see it in the way they listen to my endless rambles and rants, even if they have no idea what I’m talking about. I see it in the way invite me to things, rearrange their schedules for me, pick up the phone when I’m crying but won’t say why.

That kind of love is not as invisible as one might sometimes think it is, at least, not to me. I see it. I may not say it, the way I love them as well, but I hope they know I do.

vi.

It’s in the way that you wait for me even though you always roll your eyes. It’s in the way you’re already planning my sixteenth birthday party, never mind the fact that it’s still five months away. It’s in the way you tell me to take care of myself, and maybe it’s in the roughest way possible, but I love you for it anyway.

Do you know that? I rarely say it, but I love you.

I know you probably like me better when we’re back home — when we’re in the U.S. again.

I don’t say this part, either, but I love spending time with you. I love watching TV with you in the afternoons when I can barely do anything and the way you sometimes do bring up my obsessions, even though you know better than anyone how you’re just about to set off another ramble about them.

I love the way I have a sister who truly is my best friend. I love the way I can tell people, “She’s awesome. She’s my favorite person in the world,” and mean every single word of it.

I have very few hopes and dreams for my life, but one of them has never changed. I hope we stay this way long into the future. I hope we stay this way forever.
~
Word count: 519 words

Last edited by SnowdropSugar (July 29, 2025 23:24:04)

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July 30th, 2025 Daily:

From my place in the sky, I’ve seen many stars die in the distance. I’ve watched them burn out after far too long, after all the lifetimes we’ve shared.

Me, on the other hand, I’m just an inconsequential part of our system. No one looks up at me and wonders at their majesty the way they do the stars or the other planets. I’m an in between — not enough to be considered a planet, my own entity — but too different to be loved the way a moon should be.

They call Jupiter my home, the place I’ll always return to. In a way, I suppose, they’re right, but I dislike the idea of being so tied to a place. I hate the idea of being forever compared to something so much greater than me and knowing that when they look at the sky, their first thought will always be Jupiter and never Callisto.

I wish I was a star. They, at least, are enough to have their own light. They are enough to be worthy of recognition and remembrance.

I wonder, what would they think if I was gone? Would the things they write about mention me by name or just as “Jupiter’s moon”?

I hate being the one to orbit something greater than I will ever be.
~
Word count: 218 words
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SWC July ‘25 Weekly Four: MemorieSWC
Total word count: 5,146 words

Part One: Outlining

I’ll start with the general idea of my piece: I want this story to be a Shoot From the Hip fan fiction, and more specifically, it’s going to be based on their long form, Sorry About My Nan. However, instead of being based upon the aftermath of the stag do Jim hosts prior to his wedding with Julie/Lucy, it’s going to be based upon what happens during the stag do, since it’s not fully described in the play.

Here’s a more detailed look into the arc of the story:

• Begins in Jim’s house, setting up for the stag do. Jim, of course, is nervous, wanting everything to be perfect. His nan, Ethel, upstairs, is eagerly prepping herself for the party (supposedly), while his best friend and best man, Michael “Big Jamie Jimbob” is trying to calm Jim down and is helping him set up for it.
• Ethel makes a call to the German farmer (whose role in the chaos will later be revealed), which Michael overhears — only in bits and pieces — but he thinks nothing of it until later
• Party guests are beginning to arrive. Everything is going well. Apparently.
• Ethel wants to make sure that none of the guests leave without her knowledge, AND she wants to be able to keep track of them! So, Ethel being Ethel, she spikes the guests’ drinks with AirTags. She has a hard time getting the guests to actually swallow them, but that’s a different story.
• It’s actually surprisingly okay for a while — no one has gotten seriously injured yet!
• But then a glitter bomb goes off. Ethel? Nooo, Ethel DEFINITELY had nothing to do with this, not at all!! She’s just a sweet old grandmother. (Rightttt?)
• So now the whole place is a mess (and that glitter just seems to get EVERYWHERE — it’s clogging up the sinks and all of that until they’re beginning to flood and all of that). But at least, again, no one is hurt.
• That’s when the sheep arrive.
• Ethel lets the sheep in, turning Jim’s house pretty much into a petting zoo, only…the sheep really aren’t that tame. These sheep act more like goats: They chew on EVERYTHING. She puts a few in each of the rooms (it’s a big house, okay?? That’s why Ethel is there in the first place) and then opens the doors slightly so that they can come out “whenever they feel like it — I wouldn’t want to be cruel to the sheep!”
• Oh, and it quickly becomes clear that it’s NOT just the sheep. Not at all. There are MANY more creatures.
• People, sensing that this is about to go very downhill VERY quickly (and rightly so!) begin to make excuses to leave. Others are also bitten by the animals or hurt in other ways by them, causing more people to leave. One of these people is a mutual friend of both Michael and Jim: Big Jim Clive, who left after getting chewed on by a sheep with strangely sharp teeth.
• Oh, but it seems that Big Jim Clive is important again, and…not for such a great reason. It seems he’s left his wallet at the party — he was just in that much of a rush to go.
• Ethel has a bright idea: Explosive wallets, featuring Big Jim Clive’s as the centerpiece!
• There’s another issue: Jim likes to call it his house, but it’s not his house. He’s renting it. Anddd…it’s not looking good for his deposit.
• What a disastrous stag do. (End)
~
585 words

Part Two: Exposition

Thirty-three-year-old Jim was about to get married to the love of his life, but, of course, you can’t possibly get married without an excellent stag do to celebrate beforehand.

It was T-minus three hours until the guests would start arriving, and he had work to do. Lots of work to do. Luckily for him, though, he had enlisted his best friend Michael “Big Jamie Jimbob” to help him set up.

“Hey, Jim,” Michael said as he poked his head into the room from the kitchen.

“What’s up?” Jim asked.

Michael resisted the urge to say “the ceiling”; he knew Jim was stressed enough as it was. “So I’ve just remembered that I really don’t know how to cook. Uh…don’t be mad at me? Maybe we can like, figure out how to order something in. I don’t know, man.”

Jim sighed deeply. This, now? “Well, uh, yeah, that sounds good. I’ll…I’ll take care of it, Mike.”

“No, I got it. It’s your stag do, after all, and we’re celebrating you. Plus, it’s kind of my fault in the first place.” Michael paused. “Anything in particular you want? Chinese takeout? Pizza?”

“Pizza’s good,” Jim said, nodding, but his mind was elsewhere. He had things to do.

“Alright, I’ll make the order.” He pulled out his phone to do so, when he suddenly remembered something. “Hey, how’s Ethel doing?”

“Ethel?” Jim was busy tidying up his home — he was realizing a little too late that this was something he probably should have taken care of much earlier than, you know, the day of his stag do. “Yeah, she’s good. Upstairs, getting all ready for the party. Doing her makeup or picking out a dress or something, I don’t know. It’s kind of cool to have my nan at the stag do, right? Not many guys do that.”

“Not many guys would want to,” Michael mumbled, quiet enough that no one but him would hear it. He loved Jim, he did, but really? Who invites their nan to their stag do?

***

Meanwhile, upstairs, Ethel was indeed getting ready for the party. It just wasn’t in the way Jim expected.

Ethel might have been a grandmother (“Don’t call me ‘old,’ Jim. I’m not ancient.”), but she sure didn’t act her age. Ethel liked to say she was full of fun.

So, being young at heart still, she was always up for a good prank. This was something she had been planning for months — the most memorable stag do ever — and it was time she began putting her plans together. First thing was first: She needed to make a call.

She dialed a familiar number from her past, and within moments, the person at the other end picked up.

“Henryyyy,” she squealed, dragging out the last syllable of his name.

“Oh, Ethel! It’s you!” Henry responded with equal eagerness. “Is this about the sheep?”

Ethel nodded, then remembered that this was only an audio call and Henry couldn’t see it. “Yes, that. And also—” she lowered her voice “—the other animals. You know. Just a reminder that the party starts in three hours, so if you could get them here by then, that’d be great.”

“Why, of course, of course! I’ll be right on it. They’ll get delivered to your home safe and sound, don’t worry.”

“But a little hungry, right?” Ethel pressed. “You know what I said.”

“Obviously,” Henry responded. “I’ll make sure of it. I’m sure your son is going to love you for it.”

“Grandson.”

“Oh, that’s right! You still have the same energy you had then, so it’s hard to remember.” Henry laughed. “Well, I’ll see you then.”

“Looking forward to it.” And then she hung up. This party was just about to get started.
~
623 words

Part Three: Story Ingredients
—> Elements: Mangoes, Thor, frying pans, Cabin Wars, soul-stealing

Little did Ethel know, but right outside her room, Michael was taking care of some important business: namely, cleanup. Cleaning up was always one of Jim’s least favorite things to do, so because he felt so bad for messing up the cooking (he’d only burned every one of the three pies he made — not even from scratch, but using premade filling and store-bought pie crust — and severely oversalted the steak), Michael figured he’d give his best friend a hand. The poor guy was already going out of his mind trying to keep track of all the things that had to be done in the next few hours.

As Michael walked by, he heard Ethel talking on the phone. He didn’t want to intrude, of course, but he couldn’t help but hear a few things she said.

“…the party starts in three hours, so if you could get them here by then, that’d be great…” A pause. “…a little hungry…” A pause. “Looking forward to it.”

Huh. So it seemed that Michael had misjudged Ethel; she really did seem to care about Jim. He thought that was awfully sweet, and you know, if Jim wanted his nan around for the party, good for him. Michael was happy on his behalf that he was so excited to have her join in. But “a little hungry” — what was that about? Michael had no idea. Maybe she was referring to the guests (right, he had yet to actually finish placing that order, because in all the chaos of preparation, it kind of got forgotten) or perhaps it was just her own state of hunger she was confessing to a friend. A little odd, but then, Ethel had always felt a little off to Michael. But once again, he was happy for Jim.

***

In just a few hours, guests were starting to trickle in, old friends like Dave, Carl, and Johnny-Boy greeting Jim with a hug and some words of congratulations.

“Julie’s a great girl,” Dave said.

“Lucy,” Jim corrected absentmindedly.

Johnny-Boy added, “Yeah, that’s right. We all like her. Good for you, man.”

Jim smiled and nodded before ducking away — “My grandmother,” he explained — to go get his nan.

He knocked three times on her door. “Just a minute, Jim!” she called back, and it sounded like she was giggling. Well, at least someone was having a good time.

***

Back at her home Julie/Lucy was busy with the wedding preparations. “Let’s see,” she said to herself, twirling the pen in between her fingers. “The bridesmaids can wear purple. No, lilac. Right. That’s better.”

She knew, of course, that tonight was the day of her fiancé’s stag do, so it was important she didn’t bother him tonight to tell her of her choices. That, she decided, could wait for tomorrow. In the meantime, Julie/Lucy, being the organized person that she was, decided it was time for a bit of journaling.

Hi! I know that no one reads this except for me (I hope…), but it still feels kind of wrong not to begin my entries with a greeting. “Dear diary” feels really childish, so here I am. “Hi,” I suppose, will have to be good enough.

I think today, the wedding planning has been going pretty well. I’ve started putting together a list of some friends I’d like to come and even assigned some roles for during the wedding. I made sure Ethel had a part in it, of course, because I knew that would make Jim happy. Not fully sure why, but he really does love his grandmother. Not that I’ve got any complaints with that, though — I find it awfully sweet.

Michael and I have talked about it in the past, and I’ve decided to just go with it, you know? I told him the same thing. But when we do live together? I definitely don’t want her living in my upstairs.

Sorry, Ethel. And Jim.


Anyway, I ought to start making my dinner now. Goodbye!

***

Phase one: complete. Ethel’s delivery of Apple AirTags had just arrived (though she had made sure to get them delivered to the house next door, just so that Jim wouldn’t see), and she’d done her best to slip them into the lemonades in the form of ice cubes. Thankfully, she had had the foresight to make sure they would be waterproof. Waterproof was basically the same as lemonade-proof, right?

Anyway, Ethel was thrilled to see the reaction. She’d had to think quite hard just to figure out how she could put those AirTags in their drinks and, you know, actually make the guests swallow them, but she figured that enough people would swallow the ice to make it work, right?

But why? Ethel, obviously, had her reasons. She wouldn’t spend so much time trying to figure out such an elaborate plan if she didn’t have an explanation for it.

She loved Jim, and his friends…they’d better be good for him, right? So just in case, she decided to track them.

That, and she also just thought it would be fun, and Ethel loved fun — particularly when it wreaked the most havoc possible on others’ lives.

***

As Michael walked around the party, mingling with old friends, he reminisced about when he and Jim both met all the way back in elementary school.

Jim was sitting alone on the playground, waiting for school to start. Michael, on the other hand, was reading a book — despite the fact that his parents had long since been urging him to make a friend. The two of them had known of each other, but they hadn’t really actually known each other.

When the class was called inside, Jim rushed to the door while Michael walked slowly, his nose still in a book. Later, they were supposed to pair off for a science project, and within what felt like seconds, everyone had a partner.

Everyone, that was, except for Jim and Michael.

Naturally, the two of them paired with each other, because misfits seemed to always gravitate toward each other. Also because there was no one else left to partner with.

They worked quietly at first, following the instructions in the protocol for the baking soda and vinegar volcano and doing nothing more, but when they finished with a good half an hour to spare, they began awkward conversation, only to find out that they had a shared interest in dinosaurs.

As elementary school kids, that was all it took.


All of these other people had been additions along the way, but Jim and Michael were always the ones that everyone associated with each other.

They told each other that they always would be.

***

Michael’s fond memories and Jim’s conversations were cut off abruptly when there was a boom somewhere in the house.

“Excuse me,” Jim said, “but I’m just going to go check that out.”

He had thought this party was going okay, but he wasn’t at all prepared for the explosion of glitter. It was everywhere, truly everywhere.

“Oh, no,” he muttered. He realized he would have to clean this up. But the guests! What would he do about the guests?

Never mind, I’ll leave it for later, he decided. Maybe the guests would just think it was part of the plan. To add a little extra fun to the party. Yes, that would be the right thing to do. Just laugh it off and ask if the guests liked the party trick.

***

Ethel stood at the side of the room, watching the chaos unfold and trying her best not to look guilty. She was, after all, only a sweet old lady — how could she have anything to do with this?

Little did they know, but the glitter bomb was phase two of the plan, and in Ethel’s ever-so-humble opinion, she thought phase two had gone rather swimmingly.

The large boom was a bit unexpected, she would admit to that, but to be fair, the rest of it had gone just as she had planned it. The glitter bomb in the center of the room (which she had placed directly under a few floorboards after digging them up when Jim and Michael had been over at Julie’s/Lucy’s — whatever — house to do some wedding planning) had had enough power for the glitter it expelled to hit the ceiling.

But that was only the first of five. Boy, someone sure would be getting a shock. From what? She wouldn’t say.

But…let’s just say that the bathrooms weren’t the safest place to be right then.

***

Johnny-Boy was just about to wash his hands when the next glitter bomb went off. Pink glitter found its way into the shower and the drain, and sure, it was kind of pretty at first (not that he’d ever admit it), but he really had forgotten just how easily glitter gets…well, everywhere.

Johnny-Boy, all of a sudden, was pink. And sparkly. Very sparkly indeed.

He tried to wash the glitter off of his face, but it quickly became apparent that this type of glitter was not the one that would come off easily.

But that was the least of Johnny-Boy’s problems. “JIM!” he screamed.

The faucet was still running, but the bigger issue was that with the glitter made it impossible to turn off. It had pretty much forced the sink to remain in the running position, and no matter how hard he tried to twist the knobs, they just wouldn’t budge.

Oh, and the BIGGEST issue?

The drains were all clogged up with glitter.

***

The flooding was beginning to spread from the bathroom to the rest of the house, and it wasn’t long before puddles were everywhere. As it turned out, that wasn’t the only sink that was clogged and running. It was only a matter of time, Jim thought, before they were standing in water.

What on Earth is going on? Jim thought. This has been the most disastrous stag do I’ve ever been to.

Sure, Jim hadn’t been to that many stag dos, but this was also worse than anything in his wildest imagination — and considering how much time he had spent overthinking this event (he decided now that he had actually severely underthought it) that was saying something.

Jim had no idea, though. Things were about to get a lot worse really fast.

***

Because she was old (as if she’d ever admit it), Ethel did at least have the ability to giggle without anyone wondering if she had anything to do with all of the catastrophes that were happening. Everything would just be chalked up to her age.

Except for Michael. Michael had always been suspicious of Ethel.

But never mind Michael. Ethel had THINGS to do. Very important things to do.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Ethel looked around, momentarily terrified that someone had heard the doorbell ring, but it seemed that the sound had been lost in the commotion. Thank goodness.

It was actually the doorbell from the back door that had rang, just as Ethel had instructed Henry.

After checking just to make sure that no one was watching her, she made a beeline for the back hall and opened the door at the end of it just a crack. Instantly, she was met with a mass of eager animals trying to chew on the hem of her long skirt.

”Ethel!” Henry exclaimed. “It’s good to see you.”

“Shhh,” Ethel hissed. “It’s a secret, remember?”

Henry sighed. “Yes, yes, that’s right. Well, I’ll leave them all here with you, alright?” He glanced toward the animals, all straining against their leashes. “I’ll be here to pick them up in a few days, okay?”

Ethel nodded. “Four days. That’s what my grandson said. It’s going to be a four-day thing.”

“Yes, four days. I’ll see you then. Have fun, Ethel,” Henry responded, smiling.

And then it was just Ethel with the herd of hungry animals.

***

Ethel closed the door to the guest bedroom (the second one, not the one she’d been in for the last two years) behind her after a lot of wrestling the animals into their…pen? Whatever. But she refused to latch it properly, because the sheep (and goats, and pigs, and everything else) needed a bit of space to roam around. Plus, it was essential to her plan.

The ones in the second guest bedroom were the last of them. Phase three setup: complete.

The good thing about this plan was that there was no reason for Ethel to be there and take care of the hungry farm animals. She didn’t need to do anything more but put them in a room together. All she had to do was wait.

It didn’t take long for phase three to begin: hungry animals pawing at the door until it opened, letting them have free rein of the whole house.

Ethel snuck back to her rocking chair. Luckily, it seemed as if no one had noticed her temporary absence. Perfect.

***

They had long since resigned themselves to the fact that the sinks would not stop leaking, but in a desperate attempt to save the stag do, Jim kept on putting fresh towels down on the floor to soak up the water. It was hardly effective, but it made him feel like he was at least a little useful.

Nearby, Michael sighed. “You good over there, Jim?”

Clearly not. Jim, however, did not say that. “Yeah, I guess.”

“‘Kay, that’s good,” Michael began. “Because I hate to tell you, but…we’ve got another disaster on our hands.”

“What? What do you mean?” Jim turned sharply, just in time to see a goat chewing on his sofa. The stuffing was beginning to poke through, it seemed. “Oh, no, no, no, this is not good,” he said, lifting the goat (which had quite well attached itself to the couch) off and shutting it in the bathroom, which was still flooding.

More animals followed. A sheep — two of them, actually. A boar, he thought another he saw was. And a pony. A literal pony. How did that even get in the house? “What’s going on? It’s like someone’s sabotaged my stag do!” he exclaimed.

Just then, Big Jim Clive, a mutual friend of both Jim and Michael rushed into the living room. “JIM. JIM, IT BIT ME.” He waved his hand around frantically as if to illustrate this point, though all Jim could see was a bit of a blur of red and skin, which Jim realized a moment later was probably not a good sign.

“Shoot, you’d better go get that checked out. I don’t know where these stupid animals are coming from, and who knows where they’ve been?” Jim was getting more and more worried by the second. What would his friends think of him now? Would they hate him?

Would Julie/Lucy still even want to marry him?

“Look, man, I want to celebrate with you,” Big Jim Clive began, “but I’ve really got to go. I can’t be here with all of this…this…you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. No hard feelings.” Definitely hates me.

Big Jim Clive wasn’t the only one to leave. Definitely not. People quickly began filing out of the house, making hasty excuses and thanking Jim for inviting them, promising to try to come to the wedding. Jim didn’t fully think they were telling the truth about that last part — why would anyone want to come back after such an awful stag do? — but he nodded and shook hands with them on their way out anyway.

And then it was just Jim, Michael, Ethel, and a few more stragglers.

One might think the fun was over. But the best was yet to come.

***

People began leaving quickly, Ethel saw, and she was awfully disappointed that they didn’t appreciate all the antics and plans she had put together carefully. Shame on them — they didn’t know what they were missing out on.

Thank goodness she had the great foresight to spike their drinks with those AirTags.

But Ethel wasn’t done yet. She had one last trick up her sleeve to prove to the rest of Jim’s friends that this would just be the best stag do ever!

Phase four was originally an unplanned phase, but when she saw the wallet on the floor, an idea struck her like lightning. The glitter bomb was fun, but there could be more excitement. What about…an exploding wallet?

Firstly, though, she opened it up to check the ID, just in case it was Jim’s. But nope, it wasn’t at all Jim’s! It was Big Jim Clive’s — who was, by the way, a totally different person, just to clarify.

So anyway, Ethel figured it was probably fine. Big Jim Clive had left his wallet behind and hadn’t seemed to care that much. For starters, if Big Jim Clive really did care about his money, he probably would have noticed that he left his wallet on the table. And he definitely would have come back for it when he realized.

The point of the matter is this: Big Jim Clive couldn’t possibly care much about his wallet, and Ethel, who cared about it SO much more was obviously the right person to take care of it.

And with that, she got to gathering materials for the grand finale. Ethel was going out with a bang — literally.

***

For the first time all evening, Jim heard Ethel’s shrill voice all through his house. “GATHER ROUND, GATHER ROUND,” she screeched.

Jim sighed. He loved his nan, but couldn’t she just…kind of read the room? Like, this whole time, he had been fretting and panicking because of everything that was going on, and here Ethel was, just trying to gather his remaining friends into the room?

“COME ON!” Ethel’s volume seemed to be increasing with every sentence, as if she was making up for her earlier quietness. In part just to shut her up, Jim began walking toward the living room, and the last of his friends, naturally, followed.

“Friends,” Ethel began. An important note: Ethel had not met most of these people before, just Michael. “You all have passed my tests. Yes, go ahead, pat yourselves on the back, good for you. But! This party isn’t over yet!”

The audience — and Jim — exchanged highly confused glances.

“Now, the earlier phases of my plan were fun—”

“Wait a minute,” Jim said. “Do you mean to say that you planned all of this nonsense for my party? Nan, you ruined my stag do!”

Ethel would have none of that. “I didn’t ruin it at all! I am rebuilding you. Just you wait to see what the new versions of your Ethel-infused selves will look like! Someday, Jim, you’ll thank me. Now, moving on—”

Again, she was interrupted, only this time, by Michael. “So that’s what you were talking about on the phone. About them being hungry. You meant the animals!”

“Well, of course I did,” Ethel sniffed. “Wait. Michael, you weren’t EAVESDROPPING, were you? That’s not very polite.”

“Well, I-I it wasn’t intentional. I wasn’t trying to.”

“Never mind that. As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted yet again, there’s more, don’t you all worry! I’m going to make you all better people than you ever thought you could be.”

This was what Henry always said of Ethel: “She breaks you into pieces, and then she rebuilds you!” It was time Ethel started using that same argument about herself.

“Nan…what do you mean?” Jim asked nervously.

“I have here a wallet of a certain—” Ethel realized she’d forgotten the name, so she pulled out the ID to check, — “Big Jim Clive. Odd name. But anyway!” Her voice turned singsongy. “It’s going to be the grand ending of this!” And before anyone could say anything else, the wallet exploded. How was a different question. But with Ethel, anything was possible.

Everyone scrambled back as it burst into flames. “Oh, don’t worry! The floor is stone, anyway. I think. You all probably won’t die, and even if you do, it was all in good fun, right?”

“Nan, NO!” Jim shouted. But it was too late. Big Jim Clive’s wallet was already on fire. If poor Jim hadn’t been too shell-shocked to respond only a few seconds earlier, the words could have had an effect on Ethel, but instead, she only stood by gleefully and watched it catch on fire.

The last of the guests immediately found their way to the front door without even saying goodbye. The only words they had were, unfortunately, not the things Jim wanted to hear on his stag do.

“What a nightmare.”

“I’m outta here. That woman is nuts.”

And then it was just Ethel, Michael, and Jim.

“So, boys,” Ethel said, smiling, her gapped teeth showing through between her lips, “now it’s just us. For the next four days.”
~
3,495 words

Part Four: Conclusion

A few days later…

Jim was still embarrassed on behalf of his nan. And Michael was utterly horrified at her, at the fact that he could ever have thought that old Ethel might not have had any kind of love for her grandson, no matter how strange it was.

”That is NOT how I expected that event going,” Jim remarked as he sat down next to Michael.

Michael’s deep exhale mimicked the despair Jim felt. “Nope.”

“Well…the food was good.”

“I don’t think they’re going to be talking about the foooood,” Michael responded, dragging out the last word.

“I mean, I knew she liked to party, but I didn’t know she liked to party that hard.”

“Is she still…is she still…?” Michael’s voice trailed off.

“Yep. She’s, uh, she’s still alive.”

And then, as if to prove Jim’s point, there was a knock at the door. Rather, there was a knock at the door from the first of the two guest bedrooms, which was the one that housed Ethel. And another knock. Despite her bedroom being on the second floor, they could still hear it “Oh, no, that’s got to be her,” Michael groaned. “Quick, hide. Don’t let her in.”

“I HEARD THAT!”

“Coming, nan,” Jim told her, but he made no move toward the door. “What do we do?” he said to Michael.

“I HEARD THAT AS WELL!”

“Alright, alright, I’m actually coming now.” He trudged upstairs, taking the key from his pocket, and unlocked the door to his nan’s bedroom. “There.”

Ethel embraced Jim, who accepted her hug stiffly. “Wasn’t that just SO MUCH FUN? I knew it was your house, so I figured it didn’t matter how dirty it got. You boys are still young! You can clean it up, no problem!” Ethel got this faraway look for a second. “Oh, to still have a good back. But it’s a good thing to learn how to pick up after yourselves. Or, wait, after your nan.”

“There’s just one thing, nan,” Jim said slowly.

“What’s that?” Ethel’s voice sounded like she truly did not care for the answer. “It was fun.”

Jim began speaking: “It was, but—”

“Jim. Don’t even say that.” Then Michael turned to Ethel. “That was not fun. Okay?”

Ethel shrugged. “If you say so! But I had fun. I’ve never been at a more exciting stag do.”

“Nan, you’ve never been to another stag do.” Jim paused. “Never mind. But the thing is…it’s not my house. I’m renting it.”

“Ohhhh,” Ethel said, but clearly she did not understand what Jim was trying to say.

“I’m gonna lose my deposit on this place. And probably get kicked out.”
~
443 words

Last edited by SnowdropSugar (July 30, 2025 21:23:23)

SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

Thank You Notes (SWC July ‘25)

May: Mayyy, oh my goodness, you are truly a stunning writer and probably one of my closest friends here. I’ve loved talking to you more this month; you’re just always so much fun to chat with. Thanks for being awesome in every way possible, and here’s to hoping that we’ll eventually be in the same cabin! Love you lots <333 /p

Recca: DEAREST RECCA, what would I do without you? Whether it’s rambling to you about the most random of things or discussing books and writing or anything else, you always know how to cheer me up. You’re a fantastic writer (I don’t care WHAT you say) and you always know how to make me smile. Thanks for being the one of the most incredible people I have had the good fortune to meet <333

Daisy: HI DAISY!! So I know we didn’t talk much over camp or really just in the last few months, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be adding you to this list, haha. Anyway, thanks for being such a fun and kind person <3

Fern: Fern! We didn’t talk that much this month either, but I’ve loved the little chats we had randomly. Whether it was rambling about Gracie Abrams or sporadically discussing each others’ writing, I always enjoy seeing you around and talking to you

Sandy: HI SANDY!! Thank you so much for creating a super awesome weekly (and for giving me the honor to do it), and I really enjoyed ranting/rambling about history with you. I know we don’t know each other super well, but I hope that changes in the next few sessions

Squidy: SQUIDY, HI!! Even though our conversations might have been dying a little at the end (sobbing), I had so much fun getting to know you this session! Thanks for your critique (it actually really was super helpful, by the way) and just the fun chats we could have <3

Celeste: HI CELESTE! I know we only really talked at the very end of camp, but I really enjoyed obsessing over Cœur de Pirate with you, and I hope we’ll be able to get to know each other better in future sessions!

Emily: Emily! You were such an awesome co-leader this session, and I really liked getting to know you better. Your room for Gothic was completely awesome and definitely set the stage for the rest of the camp!! Hope to work together again soon <3

Niko: Hi, Niko! Thanks so much for being such an awesome co-leader, and I had a lot of fun getting to know you this session. I hope we’ll end up in the same cabin again sometime! <3

Willow: Hey, Willow! <3 Thank you so much for creating such a cool storyline for us this session, and you were truly an amazing leader. Beyond just the SWC stuff, I’ve loved talking to you about our similar music tastes and, obviously, the fact that you’re also a massive Hunger Games fan! I hope that we’ll be on the same leading team (or at least in the same cabin) sometime in the future

Gothic: GUYS, you all were such a great cabin and I had so much fun co-leading you all. I’m not going to be great at wording right now, but like. You all definitely made this camp way more fun. Hopefully I’ll see you all in the next few sessions as well!

Everyone who makes SWC possible: Thank you all so, so much for all of your work and dedication to making this camp what it is. I really don’t have the words to accurately describe how much it means to me — plus a whole bunch of other people in SWC as well. Anyway, I appreciate you all so much, and even if this isn’t an individual thank you note, I hope you all know that we see everything you do and how much you care about us all, and we really appreciate it <3333

Last edited by SnowdropSugar (July 31, 2025 03:57:18)

SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

Snowy's October '25 WUC Leader Application
Total word count: 2,817 words (including the bonus theme question)

About Me

Hi, I’m Snowy (she/her), nice to meet you! I’m a Singapore-based bookworm and aspiring author (SGT/UTC+8). When I’m not in school or sleeping, you’ll probably find me either reading, writing, or at the piano, but I figured I’d share a few other things about myself first.

I’m a soccer player (left wing!!), and this year, I’m JV captain! I really enjoy the sense of camaraderie between the players and how we all work together as a team. Beyond that, I’m also the designated baker of my friend group to make birthday treats for everyone.

I love music beyond all words, which I suppose is saying something, as a writer, and I’m pretty much listening to it at every chance I can get. I love indie, pop, and indie-pop, and my current favorite artists are BLÜ EYES and Gracie Abrams, though Noah Kahan, Cœur de Pirate, and Clara Mae are up there as well.

My love of music inspired me to be more creative when playing piano. Although I’ve been doing it for ten years, I only started loving it in the past year and a half, if that. One of my favorite things to do is try to play songs I love by ear based on chords I’ve found online.

And, of course, we’ve got my wordy hobbies! One of the first things you’ll learn about me is that I’m a massive fan of The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes in particular) and I Fell in Love With Hope by Lancali, both of which I’ve read…numerous times, to say the least. But I’m also just a massive bookworm in general. I love realistic fiction and poetry, but I also like a well-done mystery every so often.

Reading is honestly one thing that’s really inspired me to try writing on my own. Ever since I tried writing Hunger Games fanfiction over the summer before seventh grade, I’ve fallen in love with not just being the consumer of beautiful sentences, but hopefully the author of them, too. I love writing poetry and this hybrid genre I like to describe as tragic semi magical realism as a metaphor for reality.

While I’ve never participated in WUC before, after seeing the leader application project, I couldn’t help but be intrigued. I’m always looking for a way to inspire myself — and others! — to write more, and I would love to be a part of the community.

(410 words)

Experience

Again, I have never before been a part of WUC. However, I’ve participated in a number of sessions for similar camps (seven sessions of SWC and one session of JWC, if I’ve counted properly), and I’ve also co-led quite a few of them (five sessions of SWC, to be exact).

Other than that, I’ve also got some other experience with leadership and writing outside of just writing camps.

I was a manager of the Girls Who Don’t Fit In studio for a few years, and while I no longer actively manage, it’s taught me a lot: how to collaborate with others to oversee such a large group of diverse people and to find solutions to make the studio a positive and welcoming place.

In addition to that, I’m one of the leaders for my school’s creative writing club. Together, we organize activities for the rest of the members to help inspire them to write. I’m also the JV girls’ soccer captain this year, which means that I lead our team in warm ups, cool downs, and help my coach lead certain drills!

As for writing experience, I’ve been writing for a little over three years now, and since then, I’d like to say I’ve improved a lot. I’m a proud finisher of NaNoWriMo in 2023, and this past July, I also managed to write about 200k words. In these last few years, I’ve grown from writing fanfiction to my own pieces, and I’ve started entering in competitions to help showcase my work and motivate me to write more. Whether it’s a competition on Scratch or the New York Times Tiny Memoir contest, I’ve used every opportunity I can to push myself to write pieces I’m proud of. I may not have won all of them — far from it — but I’ve learned something from each and every one.

(307 words)

Cabin Preferences

Okay, so I’m going to be totally honest: One of the main reasons I was totally hooked on this is because I’m a massive board game nerd, so obviously, I got really excited when I saw this session’s theme. I’ve got a whole bunch of ideas, but I’ve narrowed it down to my top three choices, not listed in any particular order.

→ Realistic Fiction: Wingspan
I love birds, and I just think a Wingspan-themed cabin would be so much fun. The game itself is something of an engine builder based upon birds. The cards have gorgeous bird art on them, along with some interesting facts about them. Because of these elements, I think this would really suit the genre of Real-Fi. If I were to lead this cabin, I’d go for a very storyline-light cabin with the main goal of helping campers to bond and collaborate. For the storyline itself, something like birdwatching would fit both the game and the atmosphere! This one would probably be a pretty relaxed cabin, but I’d still motivate campers to participate in camp activities!

→ Adventure/Spy-Fi: Decrypto
Okay, so this is one of my favorite games! I love the association part of it, and I always enjoy playing with my family. I can’t say I’m too much of a reader of adventure/spy-fi, but both genres would really suit this. The storyline would be based on the premise of passing secret messages or speaking in code, much like the game. It definitely needs more development on my part, but should I be chosen as leader, I’d definitely work out some more of the finer details! Of my three ideas, I also think this one would be the most competitive cabin, but it still wouldn’t be anything more than semi-competitive.

→ Historical Fiction: Inis
Another game I love! Inis is so cool and so complex. I love all the win conditions and how you really have to pay attention to what everyone else is doing. Based on the game, I’d probably go for a hi-fi cabin, drawing on elements such as the mythology-like Epic Tale cards for inspiration and would most likely focus on the exploration aspect of the game, which would be the premise of the cabin. Of my three ideas, I think this one would be probably the most storyline-heavy. Still, I’d do my best to pare it down, as I’ve found that having more storyline-heavy cabins can be kind of hit-or-miss — plus they take a lot more setup as well. Therefore, if I chose this, I’d go for a slightly more relaxed cabin, but like in the real-fi cabin, I’d still encourage participation in camp activities!

I love the competitive aspect of Scratch camps, but what’s ultimately the most important to me is that campers have fun and learn a lot over the course of the session, so I want to make sure the main focus of all of these is personal growth and teamwork as opposed to the competition.

(500 words)

Excerpt

lesser-known epics (i was atlas in the challenger deep) | a collection

Time Dedication

I’ll be the first to admit that I have a real tendency to overcommit to things, which I’ll talk about in a bit more detail in the next section. Right now, I do have some plans that will probably affect my activity in September and October.

For starters, I’ve got soccer until mid-October. This occurs for 1.5–2 hours every session, four times a week.

In addition, I’ll also be in some other extracurriculars. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m a leader in my school’s creative writing club, so I’ll need to organize some activities for that (~2 hour weekly commitment). I also may join the robotics team at school (3 hour weekly commitment), and I’m going to be participating in a history competition for my own enjoyment outside of school. For the latter, I can move around my schedule to make time for WUC, seeing as it’s a yearlong competition, and my first major deadline is in March. I’ve also got piano, which probably is about a 5-hour-weekly commitment.

This coming year, I’m taking two AP classes, which does make me a little busier on top of everything else, but I’m hopeful that I can still make time for all the other things that are important to me — including WUC.

Finally, for one concrete plan, I’m going to be less active from October 20th-23rd, as I’m going to be going on a short vacation. However, given that I’m on break that week, I should hopefully still be able to make up for any lost time toward WUC!

As I know I’m going to be quite busy, I wanted to make sure that should I lead a cabin, it will still run smoothly despite that through a light storyline and, hopefully, a co. Having someone to support me with the cabin would be incredibly helpful, especially if I end up being busier than expected.

(313 words)

Time Management

As you can probably tell from my numerous commitments, I’ve really had to learn to manage my time well, particularly over the course of the past couple of years as I’ve gotten busier.

Seeing as I’m a very task-oriented person, I work well when having specific deadlines for specific tasks, particularly when they’re short-term ones. I’m great at completing a lot of work in a short amount of time because I can generally motivate myself to work hard when I know it’s something important. I’ve got no problem motivating myself to work on things I know need to get done, and I’ll often finish things like homework on the day they’re assigned to get them out of the way.

However, in part for this same reason, I have a tendency to struggle with longer-term deadlines or larger assignments, as I’ll try to get everything done as soon as possible — even if it’s not feasible. Oftentimes, I’ll forget to take breaks, burnout, or get overwhelmed when faced with this, even though I know completing such tasks in that time span would be illogical. I also struggle with a lot of perfectionism, and this tends to manifest in two main ways: I’ll overcommit to things almost in an attempt to reach perfection, and at times, I’ll refuse to settle for “good” if it’s not “perfect” to me, ultimately taking me more time than it should and causing me more stress.

Lately, I’ve had to deal with a lot more longer-term or bigger assignments, and it’s forced me to learn how to prioritize and break them into smaller pieces, and this has been reminding me (forcing me, in a way) to take my time and take care of myself.

(286 words)

Collaboration

This has got to be one of my favorite aspects of SWC, JWC, and all the other wonderful camps I’ve participated in on Scratch. I’ve learned so much from other people, and I really want to contribute to that.

Coming from an international school student and someone who’s been a student buddy numerous times, I’d say that two of my main strengths in collaboration are that I love meeting new people and am good at working with a variety of people. Even if I may not know, say, my (co)leaders or campers as well initially, I’m always happy to spend time getting to know them and striking up conversations based on common interests, which hopefully allows people to feel more welcome and comfortable around me! As for working with people, my ability to work with many different kinds of people also means that I’m comfortable around others as well.

As for my weaknesses, well, to say I’m a people pleaser is a bit of an understatement. I really struggle with saying “no” to things, and this can cause me to get stressed out when I realize I’ve overcommitted again. Another weakness is that as a perfectionist, I can have a hard time taking criticism at times. Even if I know it’s intended to be constructive, it can sometimes make me feel like my work is inadequate and cause me to put distance between myself and the feedback giver.

In these past few months, I’ve been trying to focus on the difference between what needs to be done and what doesn’t so I’m not putting too much on my plate before I begin. I’ve been trying hard to focus on the fact that the person who’s giving me feedback is doing so to help me make my work better — not to put me down.

(304 words)

One Quality

The thing about Scratch camps is that collaboration is such an instrumental aspect to making them run smoothly that it’s become a standard application question — obviously as evidenced by the previous part. So to me, any good (co)leader should be able to collaborate with others and just generally be a good team player.

I’ve always valued how much I get to learn through others through camps like WUC, and I’d like to be the kind of person who can also help others to learn through being a good collaborator. This could be in giving feedback to others on their writing or anything else (say, if a co/leader has an idea, offering ways to improve), making sure to share responsibilities evenly, and most importantly to me, helping to build others up. As a (co)leader, I’d embody this trait through making sure to check in with my campers from time to time, giving not just constructive but also positive feedback, and encouraging others around me in any way I can. Collaboration and working together isn’t just for the (co)leaders — it’s important for anyone, because it helps us to push each other to be our best selves and helps us to bond.

(203 words)

Cabin Atmosphere

A welcoming, relaxed cabin where campers collaborate with others and experiment with their writing, aiming to motivate people to meet their goals and form lasting friendships!

(26 words, 175 characters)

Checkboxes

I will be available consistently to help around the main cabin.

I will notify a host if I need to go inactive/take a break from WUC.

I’m willing to share a promo project for WUC!

In the case of inactive leadership of my own, I’d begin by notifying my cabin and my (co)leaders, if I have any. I’d work with them to figure out a plan for how to split responsibilities while I’m inactive, how I can help to make up for it in advance (if possible), and how I can most smoothly help after my absence. In the event of another (co)leader’s inactivity, I’d first message them to check in, and then I’d let my campers and a host know. In the meantime, I’d do my best to take over any responsibilities necessary, and upon their coming back, I’d make sure to update them on anything they’ve missed!

If a camper begins adding an unreasonable amount of words, I’d firstly ask what they’ve added them from, if they haven’t already said that. Afterward, I’d alert any (co)leaders I have and ask for at least partial proof. If they cannot or will not provide partial proof, I’ll notify a host to keep them aware and to figure out what further steps are necessary.

(217 words)

Bonus Theme

Let me just remind you — you’re talking to a total board game nerd right here, so please brace yourself.

Anyway, there are SO many great games out there, but if I were to design a board or card game of my own, I’d keep in mind my favorite kinds of games (word games, deckbuilders, bluffing games, and silly party games) and attempt to create a game based on that. In all honesty, if I were to create a game, it’d most likely be a silly party game, seeing as I’ve played so many excellent word/bluffing/deckbuilder games that I would just feel like no matter what I created, it would be really inferior, haha-

So taking inspiration from some of my favorite party games, like Poetry for Neanderthals and Telestrations, I’d probably want to pick something that would get people laughing but would also have a competitive aspect. I like team games as well, so I’d want an aspect of that — two (or more!) teams competing for…something, but with a greater goal of laughter.

Back in seventh grade, my friends and I created this game called “Most Mudskippery” — based on an inside joke we had. It basically involved relating things to mudskippers with the best string of connections winning. However, if I were to create a game on my own, I think I’d probably revisit this concept to make it more in-depth and even more silly. It’s something I’d definitely have to think more about, but it’s a start, right?

(251 words)

Last edited by SnowdropSugar (Aug. 24, 2025 13:09:01)

SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

Snowy's SWC November '25 (Co)Leader Application
Word count: 2,703 words

About Me:

Hi, I’m Snowy (she/her)! I’m a massive bookworm, aspiring author, and hopefully a future neuroscientist based in Singapore (SGT/UTC+8). It’s crazy to say, but this will be my eighth session of Scratch Writing Camp!

Alright, so in typical me fashion, I’ll start by rambling a little about the things I love.

I also love music, and I’m pretty much constantly either listening to music or playing it myself. My favorite artists are Gracie Abrams and BLÜ EYES. I love indie, pop, and indie-pop—or anything piano-based. As for playing music, I love piano (can you tell?), and have played since kindergarten, though I’ve only really started getting interested in it in the last year and a half. I’ve started trying to play video games instrumentals and trying out the chords for songs I like while attempting to play the melodies by ear.

In addition to going on about music I love, I’ll constantly be talking about Shoot From the Hip, Clair Obscur, BBC Sherlock, The Hunger Games, and I Fell in Love With Hope.

As I’ve said earlier, I’m a huge bookworm, and my favorites are The Hunger Games (read 14 times, I think) and I Fell in Love With Hope (read 16 times)—both major influences in my writing. Realistic fiction and poetry are probably my two favorite genres, but I also love a well-done mystery or historical fiction!

As for writing, I love poetry, realistic fiction, and magical realism! While I started by writing dystopian—especially Hunger Games fanfiction—at the start of seventh grade, I’ve grown as a writer to come up with more original, feeling-based pieces, though, unfortunately, plot is definitely something I’m still working on.
(280 words)

Experience

Previously, I’ve been a camper in two SWC sessions—July ‘23 and November ‘23—and I’ve co-led in the following five sessions:

March ‘24: Script with Alia and Pepper
July ‘24: Sci-Fi with Poppy and Summer
November ‘24: Steampunk with Luna and Reese*
March ‘25: Fan-Fi with Alana, Skylar, and Pepper
July ‘25: Gothic with Willow, Niko, and Emily

*Due to personal life, I did have to drop out partway through the session, but I was involved for much of the planning beforehand.

In addition, I’m leading a cabin for Writing Universe Camp this October along with Cat, and while we’re still in the process of planning the cabin, it’s helped me to understand the differences between being a leader and a co and how I can grow at the former!

I’ve had some experience with leadership roles outside of SWC. For starters, I was a manager of the Girls Who Don’t Fit In studio for about two and a half years, a large chat studio that has since been closed. Although I haven’t been a major part of it in the past year or so, it still taught me a lot about how to work with others to create a welcoming environment, enforce rules, and more.

In real life, I’m one of the leaders for my school’s creative writing club. Together, we organize activities for our members and try to foster an environment of creative freedom and collaboration. We’ve only had a couple of meetings this year, but so far, I’ve been involved in guiding discussion for ideating for this year’s plans and getting new members! Last year, as a club, we did things like organize an open mic and writing workshops.

I’m also captain of the JV girls’ soccer team, and for that, my job is to lead warm ups and cool downs, help out the coach with drills and demonstrations, and give the team feedback on anything we need to improve on.

By now, I’ve been writing for about three years! Since my beginnings with Hunger Games fanfiction, I’ve grown to write poetry and short stories on my own. Writing has become an outlet for me, something that allows me to speak when I don’t know what to say, and it’s helped me to connect with so many wonderful people.
(381 words)

Cabin Preferences

The following are my current top cabins (in no particular order) with my ideas for them all.

Real-Fi: Camping!! Obviously SWC is a camp, but I feel like it would be super fun to do an actual camping-themed one. This would be a pretty relaxed cabin, and we’d focus mostly on camper bonding, though I’d want to plan some activities for the campers—maybe something like a scavenger hunt/geocaching and a campfire for the ending!

Poetry: I love poetry so much, whether it be reading it, writing it, performing it, or listening to it, and it would be incredible to extend that passion for the genre to others through the camp. For the storyline, it could be a secret poetry society with an aspect of mystery in perhaps poetic riddles and such, maybe as campers explore the underground or something…For this cabin, I’d probably want to focus on campers’ exploration of writing!

Fantasy/Dystopian: I’ve been really obsessed with Clair Obscur lately, which is a fantasy-dystopian video game, so I’d love to make a cabin based on it. It wouldn’t require any prior knowledge of the game, nor would it give spoilers, as I’m thinking of making a prequel to the game vaguely about the Fracture. I’m thinking it will be less activity-based (though maybe a few here and there would be engaging, like maybe two or three main things), but more storyline based, because I really want to focus on the progression of the plot. For this one, I’d probably go for a slightly competitive cabin, given that it seems to suit the storyline.

The only genres I’d say I’m not as comfortable with leading would be horror and horror-adjacent genres, given that it’s not a genre I’ve read or written much.

As for TCTWNW, I have a lot of respect for it, given that it really was my introduction to SWC, but I have to say that I love the aspect of competition that SWC brings, so I’d prefer to lead a competitive cabin.
(336 words)

Excerpt
“To Lie in a Bed of Roses” | A Short Story

Time Dedication

This year, I’m participating in more extracurricular activities than I have before, but I should still be able to dedicate about 30–60 minutes to SWC daily!

I will have soccer (four days a week, 1–2 hours each time) up until mid-October, which is probably what will take up the most amount of time. Other than that, I’ve got planning and hosting my creative writing club (two hours weekly), robotics (three hours weekly), and piano (0.5–1 hour daily), and obviously my schoolwork.

One other concrete plan I have is that I’m going on a short trip from October 20th–23rd, so I may be slightly less active then.

Overall, I’m busier during some of the planning months, but less so as we approach November. Should anything else come up that I haven’t already mentioned, I’ll be sure to let my (co)leaders know as well as the hosts!
(147 words)


Time Management

I’ve definitely had to get better at time management these past few years. As I’ve gotten busier, I’ve had to figure out how to plan out my time and such to make sure I’m finishing everything I need to.

One of my main strengths in time management is that I’m really good at motivating myself. Oftentimes, you’ll find me coming back home to get straight into my homework, which reflects this. I’m also constantly making schedules for myself to prioritize what needs to get done and budget my time accordingly, and it’s important for me to stick to them. Ultimately, I think my passion for my work is something that really helps to motivate me. I know I take responsibility for my work, and it’s important to me to be accountable and uphold those deadlines.

As for my weaknesses, I really have a tendency to struggle with burnout, particularly when I take on too much. Sometimes my strength of being very motivated to work on projects can backfire, and I’ll end up trying to do a long-term project pretty much all in one night. Even when I know it’s not feasible, I’ll try to get everything done as soon as possible, creating work that may not be my best.

On the other hand, there will also be times where my being a major perfectionist and atelophobe gets in the way of my ability to work properly. Sometimes, I’ll get burnt out before I even start just because I’m trying to think through how I can make everything perfect and don’t know where to start. It can be tough for me to settle for “good” because oftentimes, I’m so focused on how to make things perfect instead.

In the past year, I’ve really been trying to work on these weaknesses, particularly my perfectionism, by being kinder to myself. Although I know I’ll probably always have those impossibly high expectations for myself, I’m doing my best to understand that it’s okay if I don’t reach them, as long as I’m putting in my best effort.
(343 words)

Collaboration

As someone coming from an international school, I regularly work with a variety of people and have to work to find solutions that work for everyone, despite our different views. It comes fairly naturally to me to include people and to pay attention to their different voices to create the optimal result. Therefore, I’d say one of my main strengths in collaboration is my ability to communicate effectively and find those in-between solutions that work for everyone.

Another strength I have is that I love getting to know others! These past few years, it’s become easier for me to connect with people, even if I don’t know them as well. I’m commonly part of the buddy program, which welcomes new students to the school, and I’m always trying to find shared interests with others that we can bond over. This would be helpful in SWC because I’m happy to take the time to get to know people, so even if I’m in a cabin with people I’m not as close with, I can still ultimately work well with them!

Of course, like anyone, I face challenges with collaboration, too. I’ve always struggled with being a people-pleaser, and while it’s good to take time to think about what others might want, it can sometimes make me indecisive. I don’t like feeling like I have to pick sides, and even if I know logically it’s not the case, I’m scared to make anyone feel bad.

Similarly, I also find myself taking on too much responsibility for others, even when I know they could probably do it better. Instead of balancing out the work properly, my perfectionism tells me that I need to do all of it, and it can ultimately lead to me feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I may at times accidentally send the message that I think my work is better than others’ because of my fear of relinquishing control.

Something I’ve had to do in the past year to more equally share responsibilities is to establish an initial plan for the distribution of roles and tasks. This way, I don’t have to spend time overthinking whether I need to take on more, and by working with others to establish what needs to get done, all of us end up having more balanced schedules.

The two main assets I’d bring to the team would be the fact that I’m hardworking and organized. I’m the kind of person who will commit to something and do everything in my power to make it happen on time to the best of my ability, and because of that, I do my best to establish myself as a dependable teammate. Additionally, I’m somewhat decent at design stuff, and I can code!
(455 words)

Reason for Applying

The thing that makes this question so tough is that there are just so many reasons I’m interested in applying to be a leader this session of SWC. After a lot of thought, I’ve narrowed it down to my top three reasons for applying this session.

As someone who is now stepping into some more leadership roles in real life, I’m looking for more leadership experiences to better understand how I can help to lead others. I’ve mentioned some leadership experience in my creative writing club helping me to learn how to better lead things like SWC, but it goes the other way as well. There’s so much to learn from both of them, and through applying for (co)leader in SWC, I’m hoping that I can also figure out how to do things like plan activities for my club, provide people with opportunities to bond with each other, and more.

I’ve been a part of SWC for quite a few sessions now, but I’ve never actually applied for leader before—in the past, I’ve always applied exclusively as a co. In all my experiences co-leading, I’ve had an amazing time, but I think it would be valuable to learn the planning and organization skills you gain from being a leader. Plus, I’d love to be a mentor to other co-leaders like so many people have been to me.

SWC is such a wonderful community, and through it, I’ve met some truly incredible people. Honestly, it’s probably one of the main reasons why I started writing more for my own enjoyment. I found it at the start of my writing journey, and since then, it’s motivated me to pursue what I love. The activities, the people, and the environment all help me to be my best self. There’s so much this place has done for me, and I want to give back to it. I want to be the person who can inspire others to write and who can encourage them to pursue the paths they love.
(336 words)

Atmosphere

A semi-competitive cabin with a focus on friendship, bonding, and the exploration of writing, with activities intended to challenge campers to extend their writing skills!
(173 characters, 25 words)

Checkboxes

I will be available to add points in the main cabin consistently throughout the month.

I’m willing to share a promotional project for SWC.

While this isn’t a specified responsibility, I would like to mention that I largely can’t access off-Scratch materials like Canva or Sheets! However, I’m happy to give feedback on things shared through Scratch or help out by doing things on separate documents!

In the case of my own inactive leadership, I’d do my best to inform the hosts and my (co)leaders before my inactivity. I’d work with them to ensure we have a plan for how to distribute responsibilities in the meantime, as well as to figure out how I can catch up when I’m back. If my own activity is unplanned, I’d notify the hosts when I’m back, and I’d also work with the rest of my team to make up for any work I missed. In the case of another’s inactive leadership, I’d first message them to check in, but I’d also notify the hosts and the rest of my team. I’d work with the rest of my team to figure out a plan for how to share responsibilities while they’re gone, and I’d document what we’ve done so I could help ensure they don’t feel behind when they come back.
(218 words)

Bonus Question

So as much as I write about the seasons…I really don’t experience them. I’ve never lived in a place with a proper variation of seasons, so I can’t say I’ve actually got a favorite autumn activity. Which is genuinely really sad.

But! I totally have ideas for what I would do in the autumn. I would love to see the foliage when it’s all gorgeous and fiery-looking. In the autumn, I’d wear my sweaters all day long (because I get cold really easily), and I’d enjoy reading my book with a cup of tea or hot chocolate, as most bookworms probably would. I’d also spend a lot of time writing, playing piano, and listening to music, because autumn just feels like a very writerly season to me, and music kind of goes with that. The other thing I might do would be to play soccer, because it would be so nice to play when it’s cool.

All this to say, my idea of a perfect autumn is pretty much just me doing my hobbies, but in better weather than the Singapore heat.
(182 words)

Last edited by SnowdropSugar (Sept. 19, 2025 12:52:18)

SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

October 1st Daily:

Hi, everyone! I’m Snowy, and I use she/her pronouns! I’m a Singaporean, American, and Swiss (half, quarter, and quarter respectively) bookworm, writer, and a whole lot more which I will most likely describe in depth as I go on with this, largely seeing as this is going to (hopefully) end up being a one thousand word intro. So firstly, let me start by warning you, because I think that it is kind of important to know that my one thousand word introductions and whatever tend to just mainly be me rambling about my hobbies and interests and whatever current obsessions I have, and seeing as I am in a very much so ramble-y mood at the moment, there will almost certainly be a good deal of that in this daily!

Now, with that out of the way, let’s get on to the rest of the introduction I’m writing.

For starters, I live in Singapore, so my time zone is UTC+8, or as I know it, Singapore time. I’ve lived here for a little over five years now, but before that, I lived in the U.S.

I live with my sister (who’s absolutely the best, and despite the fact that some siblings really don’t get along, I’d like to say that we’re absolutely not that kind of sibling relationship…that feels weird to say, but whatever, I do not think that the words are really working with me at the moment, so that’s close enough), my parents, and my paternal grandparents! I also, of course, have my cat, Sugar, for which the second part of my username is named. Ugh. That feels redundant. Anyway.

As a reader, I obviously love, love, love reading, though unfortunately sophomore year has gotten really busy, and I have not really had that much time to read, which is indeed very sad. But my favorite books are The Hunger Games (the whole series, but I especially loved The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes) and, of course, I Fell in Love With Hope by Lancali, which I have now read about sixteen times, if I am remembering that correctly. Now, you may ask why I am not actually italicizing the titles, and the reason for that is because despite the fact that it is grammatically correct to do so, I am just not in the mood! As it turns out, italicizing things on the forums is really quite irritating, so I shall just utterly neglect this step.

Beyond just those, I also love to read poetry and realistic fiction, and I’m very proud to say that I’ve met two of my favorite authors in real life and have written to one with a response, which is super cool! I love all of Ocean Vuong’s books for poetry, and for realistic fiction, my favorite author might just be Kathleen Glasgow (which is one of the people I have met!). I also like a good historical fiction book from time to time as well, though it also really depends on my mood and how well-executed they are.

Okay, I also absolutely love writing, as you might be able to guess! I’m currently applying for the National English Honor Society, which I will hopefully be accepted into, though I haven’t quite finished drafting my essays yet. Soon, though! I love to write poetry and some strange hybrid genre that I no longer really know how to describe. Lately, I’ve mostly been writing poetry, because my ability to actually deal with plot is pretty much nonexistent. That’s one of my main hopes for things to improve.

And, of course, another interest of mine is music! I love music so much, and I will ramble about my loves in music very often. My favorite artists at the moment are Gracie Abrams and BLÜ EYES, though others that make it into my top five include Noah Kahan, Cœur de Pirate, and also Maëlle. I think. It’s been getting hard to define concretely lately. I love both English songs and French ones, despite not speaking the latter yet, though I do hope to double on languages next year so that I can learn French! The other language I am currently learning is Mandarin Chinese, which I’d like to say I’m decently okay at. I could probably get by.

Anyway, Have I mentioned that I love French songs? Cavale by Cœur de Pirate, which came out last week, is so insanely good, and you all should listen to it!

Basically, I’m just super obsessed with music in general, and in addition to listening to it basically nonstop and thinking about it (or rambling about it) quite a bit, I’ll also commonly be found playing the piano! I love playing piano, and oftentimes, I’ll just sit there for a while and figure out the melodies for songs on piano by playing around with the chords and such. I’m currently learning Old Lumière - Réverénce on the piano, which is so much fun to play. Also Alicia, though I’m only going to like halfway through that one. I had this really great idea this morning to actually try to arrange Le pianiste des gares by Maëlle on the piano, which I have not started, but I will try! Hopefully it goes okay, because it’s such a fun song, and it would be really cool to be able to play it.

It has come to my attention that I also really like playing French songs on the piano. Huh. To provide a counter example, I also love playing Risk by Gracie Abrams on the piano and counting houses (instrumental) by Luz.

Ooh, I’m actually almost at the full thousand words so far, but I’ll probably end up rambling a little bit more besides just that. Because that’s kind of just the way I am.

Lately, I’ve been super obsessed with Shoot From the Hip, a British improv comedy group. I love all their stuff because it’s just so funny, oh my goodness. Also! My main obsession as of late has totally been Clair Obscur, which I could most definitely go on about for at least another five hundred words, but given that I should probably be getting to my homework now, I’ll just talk about it briefly. It pains me to do so.

Clair Obscur is definitely the best video game that I’ve ever played, and it’s got such wonderful music and graphics and the plot and writing and characters and their interactions is absolutely perfect, and you all need to play it! And ramble to me about it, because I am severely deprived of people to ramble to who actually know what I’m talking about!

Finally, I’m also a soccer player, and I’ve been playing for about ten or eleven years now! I’ve forgotten exactly how long, but it’s been quite a while. Anyway, I play left wing, which used to be a forward position but is now more midfield because our coach switched our formation slightly, which is sad because I loved being forward. But I’m kind of figuring it out. I’m also the captain of the JV girls soccer team! It’s so much fun, and all the people are just so wonderful.

Oh, whoops, I have just realized that I’ve totally forgotten to mention that this is my first session of WUC, and I’ll be leading Hi-Fi with Cat this session! And that brings me past my one thousand words, so farewell!
~
Word count: 1,238 words
SnowdropSugar
Scratcher
500+ posts

Snowy's Writing Thread <3

October 2nd, 2025 Daily

Hi, Fanta!


I’m here to write you a letter, as you probably know, for the daily for WUC today! Anyway, in case you don’t know me (since I don’t think we’ve talked much before), I’m Snowy!

Firstly, those all seem like great goals! I’m sure you’re going to be able to achieve them <3

I think the main thing about reaching your word goal is to do a little bit every day! If you work consistently toward it, I’ve got no doubt that you’ll be able to complete it. Plus, the nice thing about that is that it kind of goes hand in hand with your other goals. Doing the dailies and weeklies are a really nice way to get inspiration to write other stuff, at least from what I know based on SWC.

As for your goals on completing dailies and weeklies, I’d probably spread them out if you think you’re going to be busy! Do the dailies and weeklies that most interest you, because I guarantee you that you’re going to have a lot more fun writing them when you’re doing them because you actually love the prompts, not because you’re just trying to reach a goal. I mean, that’s important, but I’m sure you’ll be far more inspired if it’s something that you like!

I’ll admit—this definitely isn’t my best daily, so I apologize for the probable lack of coherence and quality of this letter, but I hope that it’s helpful nonetheless. I’m sure that you’ll be able to complete your goals, and we’ll all be here cheering you on!

Best of luck to you,
Snowy
~
Word count: 268 words

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