Discuss Scratch

-Telekore-
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

Try to be funny.

What body part do you lose as you get older?
Your kidneys. As you grow, they turn into adultneys.

What works faster than a calculator?
A calcu-now!

Help me look for a cartoon I watched when I was younger!
Help me work on an upcoming iceberg!
She/they, autistic, cis female, I am bi, CD-R and DVD-R enthusiast.
< i have chronic llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch // Check out my drone project! // I am coleslawphobic.
Threads I created: Experimental Music, Obscure Cartoons, Puns and Jokes, Software Gore/Tech Fails, Unicode, Synthesizers, Obsolete and Peculiar Media Formats
Don't eat glue, kids. <- this part of my sig appeared in a dream so I wanted to put it here

FYI: “alot” and “aswell” aren't real words. Every spellchecker I've used puts a red squiggle under those “words”.
Crispydogs101
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

*pulls out my dad jokes book*

Hey! Look at this DTA!
Hej! My username is @Crispydogs101. I like listening to music, playing games, and more!
Sarah and duck, Pete the cat, Pegboard nerds, Tokyo machine, FORZA FAN!! Be High contrast Blue Be rich
-Telekore-
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

Crispydogs101 wrote:

*pulls out my dad jokes book*
hi hungry i'm dad

Help me look for a cartoon I watched when I was younger!
Help me work on an upcoming iceberg!
She/they, autistic, cis female, I am bi, CD-R and DVD-R enthusiast.
< i have chronic llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch // Check out my drone project! // I am coleslawphobic.
Threads I created: Experimental Music, Obscure Cartoons, Puns and Jokes, Software Gore/Tech Fails, Unicode, Synthesizers, Obsolete and Peculiar Media Formats
Don't eat glue, kids. <- this part of my sig appeared in a dream so I wanted to put it here

FYI: “alot” and “aswell” aren't real words. Every spellchecker I've used puts a red squiggle under those “words”.
-OdysseyCentral-
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

I do not understand why did Elon Musk buy Twitter for 44m$? It’s literally free on the App Store!

The Honey Shop is back! Check us out on the Requests forum!





=== ♪ ♬ ♫ ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Champion’s Road, from Odyssey’s Ultimate Playlist ♩ ♭ ♫ ===
=== 1:37 ───ㅇ───── 4.01 ↻ Previous Song: Battle on The Great Tower◁ II ▷Next song: Ground (SMW) ↺. ♬ ♪ ♩===
-Telekore-
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

The local park ranger kicked me out for arranging squirrels by height.
They didn't want me critter-sizing.

Help me look for a cartoon I watched when I was younger!
Help me work on an upcoming iceberg!
She/they, autistic, cis female, I am bi, CD-R and DVD-R enthusiast.
< i have chronic llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch // Check out my drone project! // I am coleslawphobic.
Threads I created: Experimental Music, Obscure Cartoons, Puns and Jokes, Software Gore/Tech Fails, Unicode, Synthesizers, Obsolete and Peculiar Media Formats
Don't eat glue, kids. <- this part of my sig appeared in a dream so I wanted to put it here

FYI: “alot” and “aswell” aren't real words. Every spellchecker I've used puts a red squiggle under those “words”.
-Telekore-
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

bump(ed my toe on the table leg)

Help me look for a cartoon I watched when I was younger!
Help me work on an upcoming iceberg!
She/they, autistic, cis female, I am bi, CD-R and DVD-R enthusiast.
< i have chronic llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch // Check out my drone project! // I am coleslawphobic.
Threads I created: Experimental Music, Obscure Cartoons, Puns and Jokes, Software Gore/Tech Fails, Unicode, Synthesizers, Obsolete and Peculiar Media Formats
Don't eat glue, kids. <- this part of my sig appeared in a dream so I wanted to put it here

FYI: “alot” and “aswell” aren't real words. Every spellchecker I've used puts a red squiggle under those “words”.
-Telekore-
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

bumped my head and lacerated my skull ouch it's 2 painful

Help me look for a cartoon I watched when I was younger!
Help me work on an upcoming iceberg!
She/they, autistic, cis female, I am bi, CD-R and DVD-R enthusiast.
< i have chronic llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch // Check out my drone project! // I am coleslawphobic.
Threads I created: Experimental Music, Obscure Cartoons, Puns and Jokes, Software Gore/Tech Fails, Unicode, Synthesizers, Obsolete and Peculiar Media Formats
Don't eat glue, kids. <- this part of my sig appeared in a dream so I wanted to put it here

FYI: “alot” and “aswell” aren't real words. Every spellchecker I've used puts a red squiggle under those “words”.
-Telekore-
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

I dreamt of an ocean made of orange soda… turns out it was just a fanta-sea

Help me look for a cartoon I watched when I was younger!
Help me work on an upcoming iceberg!
She/they, autistic, cis female, I am bi, CD-R and DVD-R enthusiast.
< i have chronic llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch // Check out my drone project! // I am coleslawphobic.
Threads I created: Experimental Music, Obscure Cartoons, Puns and Jokes, Software Gore/Tech Fails, Unicode, Synthesizers, Obsolete and Peculiar Media Formats
Don't eat glue, kids. <- this part of my sig appeared in a dream so I wanted to put it here

FYI: “alot” and “aswell” aren't real words. Every spellchecker I've used puts a red squiggle under those “words”.
PaperMarioFan2022
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

And that’s how the cookie crumbles… *Ba dum Crash!*

Last edited by PaperMarioFan2022 (May 31, 2023 15:36:36)


Hello! Welcome to my signature!

I am a real Mario enthusiast and a fan of the franchise and also getting into the field of IT. I also play Luigi's Mansion and other games too!

Profile | Ocular | ScratchStats | PostPercent | GitHub Main | Snap!

Professional Mario Enthusiast / (NEW!) 3DS FC: 2252-0951-8546 / (NEW!) Switch FC: SW-2091-2478-9614 / (removed - due to concerns in moderation) ARarePaper



I forgor my account password to give an internet ☠

I’ve been a Scratcher since 2021!



My glorious meme section (scroll down to see more)






























BionicBoy554
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

My friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

I specialize in animating fight collabs. I've entered the ‘decent’ stage.

A couple of studios I’m in:

A kumquat ate my productivity.
-Telekore-
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

BionicBoy554 wrote:

My friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
HAH

Help me look for a cartoon I watched when I was younger!
Help me work on an upcoming iceberg!
She/they, autistic, cis female, I am bi, CD-R and DVD-R enthusiast.
< i have chronic llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch // Check out my drone project! // I am coleslawphobic.
Threads I created: Experimental Music, Obscure Cartoons, Puns and Jokes, Software Gore/Tech Fails, Unicode, Synthesizers, Obsolete and Peculiar Media Formats
Don't eat glue, kids. <- this part of my sig appeared in a dream so I wanted to put it here

FYI: “alot” and “aswell” aren't real words. Every spellchecker I've used puts a red squiggle under those “words”.
coolmetroid112
Scratcher
500+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

hungry wrote:

-Telekore- wrote:

Crispydogs101 wrote:

*pulls out my dad jokes book*
hi hungry i'm dad
why did you name me this way


so efficient
heybuddycanigeta
Scratcher
100+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

what do you call a cold burger

brr-ger


uhh.
TheExample_2020
Scratcher
100+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

hey uh is this the forum for terrible jokes about birds? if so do you have one?

(don't ask.)

Last edited by TheExample_2020 (Feb. 7, 2024 23:03:53)


TheExample_2020
poster of projects, crawler of forums

highlight text with mouse and use shift + down arrow to scroll.~~~
And now, an excerpt from Matrix Dimensions (2101).

Morpheus (holding out left hand):
You take the blue pill, the story ends; you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
(Holding out right hand):
You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
(Holding out middle hand?):
You take the purple pill…
Neo (confused as heck):
Wha…?
Morpheus (continued):
…I choose for you; be warned: it's probably not going to be the blue pill.
(Neo takes the blue pill and the purple pill.)
Morpheus (visibly annoyed):

The blue pill was a placebo…
(The blue pill was not a placebo.)
…and you chose the purple pill, meaning I choose for you. Come with me.
(Morpheus throws Neo out of an opened window, Neo breaking an arm and a leg in the process.)
Morpheus:

No one abuses the pills…
(continued, holding out hand below middle hand??)
…especially when you don't take the mandatory green pill.
Neo (telepathically to Morpheus):
Jinx! One… two…
(Morpheus doesn't want to be jinxed, so he jumps out of the window, breaking one of his arms and one of his legs in the process.)
Neo (weakly):

Ha! Now do you feel my pain?
Morpheus (weakly):
No, not really. Didn't feel a thing.
(Morpheus and Neo go back inside the building, while limping.)
Elijah999999
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

Maybe this would fit better in things I'm making and creating, since you can make jokes? Or is this to discuss jokes that were already written?
-Telekore-
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

Elijah999999 wrote:

Maybe this would fit better in things I'm making and creating, since you can make jokes? Or is this to discuss jokes that were already written?
Mostly the latter, so I guess “original” jokes are a minority

Help me look for a cartoon I watched when I was younger!
Help me work on an upcoming iceberg!
She/they, autistic, cis female, I am bi, CD-R and DVD-R enthusiast.
< i have chronic llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch // Check out my drone project! // I am coleslawphobic.
Threads I created: Experimental Music, Obscure Cartoons, Puns and Jokes, Software Gore/Tech Fails, Unicode, Synthesizers, Obsolete and Peculiar Media Formats
Don't eat glue, kids. <- this part of my sig appeared in a dream so I wanted to put it here

FYI: “alot” and “aswell” aren't real words. Every spellchecker I've used puts a red squiggle under those “words”.
TheExample_2020
Scratcher
100+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

-Telekore- wrote:

Elijah999999 wrote:

Maybe this would fit better in things I'm making and creating, since you can make jokes? Or is this to discuss jokes that were already written?
Mostly the latter, so I guess “original” jokes are a minority
well! toucan play at that game!

TheExample_2020
poster of projects, crawler of forums

highlight text with mouse and use shift + down arrow to scroll.~~~
And now, an excerpt from Matrix Dimensions (2101).

Morpheus (holding out left hand):
You take the blue pill, the story ends; you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
(Holding out right hand):
You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.
(Holding out middle hand?):
You take the purple pill…
Neo (confused as heck):
Wha…?
Morpheus (continued):
…I choose for you; be warned: it's probably not going to be the blue pill.
(Neo takes the blue pill and the purple pill.)
Morpheus (visibly annoyed):

The blue pill was a placebo…
(The blue pill was not a placebo.)
…and you chose the purple pill, meaning I choose for you. Come with me.
(Morpheus throws Neo out of an opened window, Neo breaking an arm and a leg in the process.)
Morpheus:

No one abuses the pills…
(continued, holding out hand below middle hand??)
…especially when you don't take the mandatory green pill.
Neo (telepathically to Morpheus):
Jinx! One… two…
(Morpheus doesn't want to be jinxed, so he jumps out of the window, breaking one of his arms and one of his legs in the process.)
Neo (weakly):

Ha! Now do you feel my pain?
Morpheus (weakly):
No, not really. Didn't feel a thing.
(Morpheus and Neo go back inside the building, while limping.)
JTanner2026
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread


(highlight then shift + down for bio)


haiii! i'm tanner/monika :3
bi femboy
he/her
in a lot of game fandoms
i draw and sing
i am a bit silly :3
RiversSafeZone
Scratcher
500+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

JTanner2026 wrote:

sands under my turban

Greetings, Im River, an Archivist.
They/Them, please.
Don't expect me to work for you, I only work for YentoBox.
make more robogirl ocs
Poem real!?!?
Check this if you wanna make fan-art of my oc
BionicBoy554
Scratcher
1000+ posts

The Puns and Jokes Thread

-Knock knock.
-Who's there?
-I live in Ida.
-“I live in Ida” who?
-It's pronounced Idaho.

I specialize in animating fight collabs. I've entered the ‘decent’ stage.

A couple of studios I’m in:

A kumquat ate my productivity.

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