Aspect News Article Submissions

TrianglePanBrain

Aspect News is now accepting news article submissions! Please reply to this post with the article and it may be accepted.

Important Info:
Forum Post With All Of The Articles

Aspect OS Forum

Your name will be put as the writer of the article unless wanted otherwise. (Joe Generic will happily take your credit.)

Your article may be slightly edited.

Your article may have a higher chance of being accepted if you include running jokes such as GeneriCO owning everything, or every bodies name being a joke.

Please don't make real news. Your article will only be accepted if you write a joke article that seems almost serious. (Note: You can write about a non-serious real life event in a joking manner and get the article accepted.)

Last edited by TrianglePanBrain (Oct. 14, 2021 22:20:58)

meguy7878

TrianglePanBrain wrote:
Aspect News is now accepting news article submissions! Please reply to this post with the article and it may be accepted.

Important Info:
Forum Post With All Of The Articles

Aspect OS Forum

Your name will be put as the writer of the article unless wanted otherwise. (Joe Generic will happily take your credit.)

Your article may be slightly edited.

Your article may have a higher chance of being accepted if you include running jokes such as GeneriCO owning everything, or every bodies name being a joke.

Please don't make real news. Your article will only be accepted if you write a joke article that seems almost serious. (Note: You can write about a non-serious real life event in a joking manner and get the article accepted.)

Good luck to you news writer people!

Here's my article:

KUMQUATS ARE DESTROYING THE SIGNATURE POPULATION!!!

On September 31.5, our news reporter, Space Kitty, said:

“meow”

This translated to:

“Prepare your signatures with guards! The kumquats won't wait for you!”

Therefore, the national space kitty governors created safety protocols and other legal stuff for the ordeal. Here is a set of instructions you should follow to keep your signature safe!

1. Get a guard - Kumquat guards help to keep away those kumquats! Make one simply out of a variable or boolean!

2. Get another guard - Two guards is better than 1!

3. Keep your signature short - This makes it easier to monitor, and prevents secret stealthy kumquats from snacking on your stuff!

We hope you follow these steps to keep your signature healthy. Thanks to our amazing reporter, Space Kitty, we helped at least 0 people prevent their signatures from being eaten!

- meguy7878

yay fer me

TrianglePanBrain

meguy7878 wrote:
TrianglePanBrain wrote:
Aspect News is now accepting news article submissions! Please reply to this post with the article and it may be accepted.

Important Info:
Forum Post With All Of The Articles

Aspect OS Forum

Your name will be put as the writer of the article unless wanted otherwise. (Joe Generic will happily take your credit.)

Your article may be slightly edited.

Your article may have a higher chance of being accepted if you include running jokes such as GeneriCO owning everything, or every bodies name being a joke.

Please don't make real news. Your article will only be accepted if you write a joke article that seems almost serious. (Note: You can write about a non-serious real life event in a joking manner and get the article accepted.)

Good luck to you news writer people!

Here's my article:
KUMQUATS ARE DESTROYING THE SIGNATURE POPULATION!!!

On September 31.5, our news reporter, Space Kitty, said:

“meow”

This translated to:

“Prepare your signatures with guards! The kumquats won't wait for you!”

Therefore, the national space kitty governors created safety protocols and other legal stuff for the ordeal. Here is a set of instructions you should follow to keep your signature safe!

1. Get a guard - Kumquat guards help to keep away those kumquats! Make one simply out of a variable or boolean!

2. Get another guard - Two guards is better than 1!

3. Keep your signature short - This makes it easier to monitor, and prevents secret stealthy kumquats from snacking on your stuff!

We hope you follow these steps to keep your signature healthy. Thanks to our amazing reporter, Space Kitty, we helped at least 0 people prevent their signatures from being eaten!

- meguy7878

yay fer me

Nice article! I'll do some editing and get back to you with the final version of the article so you can approve it as I want the article to have the original intended meaning and humor that the author intended. So check back later please.

TrianglePanBrain

Kumquats Are Destroying The Signature Population
10/7/2021, by meguy7878
On September 31 of this year our investigative reporter Space Kitty gave us a document. The exact contents of this document shall remain classified but what this important document showed will be shared with our viewers and the world for the importance of sharing its message. The document shows that the evil Kumquats, known for their terrible crimes against the innocent signatures of so many scratchers, have been secretly decimating the signature population in a way that was completely unseen for many years. As the issue is very serious and very recent no world governments have responded except for the Ambazonian Health Ministry which has issued an official statement on the large public health crisis that asks all people, no matter if their area is effected by the Kumquat crisis or not, to stay safe and follow good health like consistently washing your signature among other things. An international medical organization, the International Space Kitty Medical Governors, gave a more specific list of tips on how to protect yourself from this global health crisis. The following is that list, please follow these medical safety tips consistently throughout this health crisis.

Kumquat Global Health Crisis Safety Tips:
1. Get a guard - Kumquat guards help to keep away those kumquats! Make one simply out of a variable or boolean!
This is a way to turn on your automatic signature guard:

set [signatureguard v] to [active]

2. Get another guard - Two guards is better than 1!

3. Keep your signature short - This makes it easier to monitor, and prevents secret stealthy kumquats from snacking on your stuff!

All of us at Aspect News wish you safety during this Kumquat pandemic. We wish the best to you loyal Aspect News reader, and remember to keep your signature clean.

Last edited by TrianglePanBrain (Oct. 8, 2021 22:12:09)

meguy7878

TrianglePanBrain wrote:
Kumquats Are Destroying The Signature Population
10/8/2021, by Meguy7878
On September 31 of this year our investigative reporter Space Kitty gave us a document. The exact contents of this document shall remain classified but what this important document showed will be shared with our viewers and the world for the importance of sharing its message. The document shows that the evil Kumquats, known for their terrible crimes against the innocent signatures of so many scratchers, have been secretly decimating the signature population in a way that was completely unseen for many years. As the issue is very serious and very recent no world governments have responded except for the Ambazonian Health Ministry which has issued an official statement on the large public health crisis that asks all people, no matter if their area is effected by the Kumquat crisis or not, to stay safe and follow good health like consistently washing your signature among other things. An international medical organization, the International Space Kitty Medical Governors, gave a more specific list of tips on how to protect yourself from this global health crisis. The following is that list, please follow these medical safety tips consistently throughout this health crisis.

Kumquat Global Health Crisis Safety Tips:
1. Get a guard - Kumquat guards help to keep away those kumquats! Make one simply out of a variable or boolean!
This is a way to turn on your automatic signature guard:
set [signatureguard v] to [active]
2. Get another guard - Two guards is better than 1!

3. Keep your signature short - This makes it easier to monitor, and prevents secret stealthy kumquats from snacking on your stuff!

All of us at Aspect News wish you safety during this Kumquat pandemic. We wish the best to you loyal Aspect News reader, and remember to keep your signature clean.

I think it’s fine!

Edit: Its the 7th, actually ( of October), and my name is meguy7878 without any uppercase letters

Last edited by meguy7878 (Oct. 7, 2021 22:02:08)

AIGamesDeveloper

bump

Dream-123-123

Can I be a reporter/editor?

TrianglePanBrain

Dream-123-123 wrote:
Can I be a reporter/editor?

Sure! You can make an article or suggest edits to them at any time.

-MyNewAccount-

I'll try to come up with some articles!

Dream-123-123

Article submission:

Scratch Cat Transformation

On This past Saturday, our reporter Dream told us about the very funny and strange happenings witnessed the day before. We can not tell you all of the details, but we can state that the Scratch Cat was seen by a security camera at ScatchMart. Scratch Cat then transformed into a dog, then took a cape out of his ear, put it on, then started to fly. I’m sure most of the general population thinks of Scratch Cat as a harmless little animal, but be aware, this dog is not! This dog was last seen attempting to hack into the the world’s most famous database, then when he set off an alarm system, vanished. It is expected that the dangerous Scratch Cat has taken form of some other animal, and is now wreaking havoc somewhere in the world. Be aware! Don’t walk up to a strange animal, and make sure an animal you know is acting right. You never know who or what Scratch Cat could be impersonating.

-MyNewAccount-

(Evil) Kumquats: Their Origin
October 14th, 2021, by Theo Generic.
On October 13th, this year, Aspect News received a letter from EvilKumquatCO.
“W kum qut, evl, wnt t aplgze bt etng sgntrs.
Sgnd,
Ev Kum Qut CO.”
Using KumqTranslate we were able to descifrate what the letter said.
“We, the evil kumquats, want to apologize about eating signatures.
Signed,
EvilKumquatCO.”
Aspect News answered:
“Hello Kumquats. We're glad to see that you won't be eating signatures anymore. We're publishing an interview in Aspect News about you. Please tell us about your origins in the next letter.
Signed,
Aspect News.”
This interview was possible wit the help of Kum Technologies.
“We're the Evil Kumquats!!!1!!11 We're going to eat your siggy!!!11!1”
“Please be respectful as said in the Aspect Guidelines.”
“Ok. Our mother is known as ‘girlcheddar’ or someth-”
“You probably meant ‘cheddargirl’.”
“Yeah, something like that. She likes kumquats, but she put us in a fridge for a long time - and we were hungry. Then we eated Cheddar's signature. But then, our cousins and family started eating siggys too, and we growed. Since then, everyone calls us ‘evil kumquats’.”
“Wow, what an incredible story!”

TrianglePanBrain

Edited Version

(Evil) Kumquats: Their Origin
October 14th, 2021, by Theo Generic.
On October 13th, this year, Aspect News received a letter from EvilKumquatCO likely after they read our previous article about the large Kumquat signature eating pandemic. The following section will be a copy of the text in that letter.

“W kum qut, evl, wnt t aplgze bt etng sgntrs.
Sgnd,
Ev Kum Qut CO.”

Using KumqTranslate we were able to descifrate what the letter said.

“We, the evil kumquats, want to apologize about eating signatures.
Signed,
EvilKumquatCO.”

Aspect News responded:
“Hello Kumquats. We're glad to see that you won't be eating signatures anymore. We're publishing an interview in Aspect News about you. Please tell us about your origins in the next letter.
Signed,
Aspect News.”

The kumquats responded to our response and we were able to achieve the following interview.

The following interview was possible with the help of Kum Technologies, a Generi CO subsidiary.
“We're the Evil Kumquats!!!1!!11 We're going to eat your siggy!!!11!1”
“Please be respectful as said in the Aspect Guidelines.”
“Ok. Our mother is known as ‘girlcheddar’ or someth-”
“You probably meant ‘cheddargirl’.”
“Yeah, something like that. She likes kumquats, but she put us in a fridge for a long time - and we were hungry. Then we eated Cheddar's signature. But then, our cousins and family started eating siggys too, and we grew. Since then, everyone calls us ‘evil kumquats’.”
“Wow, what an incredible story!”

We at Aspect News hope this letter and interview can help shed light on the outbreak of the evil kumquats and help us stay safe from their signature eating evil. Stay safe loyal viewer!

Last edited by TrianglePanBrain (Oct. 15, 2021 17:53:46)

TrianglePanBrain

Edited Version

Evil Scratch Cat Transformation
October 14th, by Dream-123-123.

This past Saturday, our reporter Minceraft Ream told us about the very suspicious and strange happenings witnessed the day before. We can not tell you all of the details for reasons of confidentiality and security, but we can state that the Scratch Cat was seen by a security camera at a local Generi CO Store. Scratch Cat then transformed into a dog, then took a cape out of his ear, put it on, then started to fly. I’m sure most of the general population thinks of Scratch Cat as a harmless and helpful little animal, but be aware, this dog is not! This dog was last seen attempting to hack into the Aspect News joke database, however when he realized the jokes inserted into the joke database by Aspect News chief organizer TrianglePanBrain were moldy and made of 78% Generi Co, he vanished. It is expected that the previously thought to be kind and harmless Scratch Cat has taken form of some other animal, and is now wreaking havoc somewhere in the world. In order to be safe from this evil version of Scratch Cat we ask you to be aware, to not walk up to a strange animal, and to make sure an animal you know is acting right. You never know who or what Scratch Cat could be impersonating.

-MyNewAccount-

They look cool!!

WondareAnimator

Article submission:

Title: Farewell Scratch Cat!

June 23, Scratch cat posted a farewell letter on his Facebook account:

Scratchcat on Facebook wrote:
“To All of the Scratchers out there, I know this might shock you, but I'm leaving. I am being replaced by another oc, Who seems more ”cute“ and more favourable. The Scratch dog. I'm truly sad. but as they say ”A scratch dog is a computer friend". Farewell, and Have fun scratching! I will certainly not have fun.

Many scratchers were certainly not happy to hear this. Saying:
“NO! Scratch can NOT be replaced,” While other scratchers were disagreeing saying “Finally, We needed some change of the oc anyways.”

August 4th, Scratch Dog Makes A scratch Account??
Well, many are not shocked, many others are shoked. Scratchdog has made an account. But Wait! It 13 years old! The Scratch team are looking into it.

Vanilla2011

Revised Version
Fixed punctuation and other edits!

WondareAnimator wrote:
Article submission:

Title: Farewell Scratch Cat!

snip

Farewell, Scratch Cat.

On June 23, Scratch Cat posted his farewell on his Facebook account:

Scratch Cat on Facebook wrote:
“To all the Scratchers out there, I know this might shock you, but I'm leaving. I am being replaced by another OC, Who seems more ”cute“ and more favorable. The Scratch dog. I'm truly sad, but as they say, ”A scratch dog is a computer's best friend". Farewell, and have fun scratching! I will certainly not have fun.

Many scratchers were certainly not happy to hear this.
“NO! The famous Scratch Cat can NOT be replaced!” a Scratcher says. While some other scratchers accepts the change.
“We needed some change of the OC anyway,” a Scratcher tweeted.

Almost 2 weeks later, on August 4th, Scratch Dog's Scratch Account is finally revealed?
Well, many are not shocked, but many others are shocked.
“I mean, the asterisk of the Scratch Team member is there,” the famous @griffpatch says. “But wait! The account's 13 years old!”
The Scratch team are looking into it.
“I think there was a bug somewhere.” says @ceebee.

Last edited by Vanilla2011 (Oct. 20, 2021 11:28:00)

TrianglePanBrain

Edited Version
Farewell Scratch Cat!

Farewell, Scratch Cat.
10/20/2021, by WondareAnimator.

On June 23, Scratch Cat posted his farewell on his Databook account:

Scratch Cat on Facebook wrote:
“To all the Scratchers out there, I know this might shock you, but I'm leaving. I am being replaced by another OC, Who seems more ”cute“ and more favorable. The Scratch dog. I'm truly sad, but as they say, ”A scratch dog is a computer's best friend". Farewell, and have fun scratching! I will certainly not have fun.

Many scratchers were certainly not happy to hear this.
“NO! The famous Scratch Cat can NOT be replaced!” a Scratcher says. While some other scratchers accepts the change.
“We needed some change of the OC anyway,” a Scratcher tweeted.

Almost 2 weeks later, on August 4th, Scratch Dog's Scratch Account is finally revealed.
Well, many are not shocked, but many others are shocked.
“I mean, the asterisk of the Scratch Team member is there,” the famous @griffpatch says. “But wait! The account's 13 years old!”
The Scratch team are looking into it.
“I think there was a bug somewhere.” says @ceebee.

We hope this scratch dog isn't evil or something. That's it for this Aspect News news update.

Last edited by TrianglePanBrain (Oct. 20, 2021 15:53:12)

Vanilla2011

Aspect News
January 1, 2026

Griffpatch Joins the Scratch Team

“One day,” says @griffpatch, “I logged onto Scratch and the asterisk was right beside my name! I didn't even fill any papers or anything!”
It turns out that starting this year, celebrating the release of Scratch 4.0, the most followed Scratcher gets a job in the Scratch Team. The full explanation is here.
“I'd better get more followers if I want to be accepted into the Scratch Team.” @Will-Wam says. “@griffpatch better give me that position now!”
After a few days of begging, @Will-Wam declares war against MIT. The US government and @griffpatch takes MIT's side, but her neighbors, Mexico and Canada, are on @Will-Wam's side.
“After all, I also want that job,” @PotatoAnimator - Canada's most followed Scratcher - says as he yeets a potato 563 kilometers into @Will_Wam's face.

TrianglePanBrain

Edited Version

Griffpatch Joins the Scratch Team
10/21/2021, by @Vanilla2011.

“One day,” says @griffpatch, “I logged onto Scratch and the asterisk was right beside my name! I didn't even fill any papers or anything!”
It turns out that starting this year, celebrating the release of Scratch 4.0, the most followed Scratcher gets a job in the Scratch Team. The full explanation is here.
“I'd better get more followers if I want to be accepted into the Scratch Team.” @Will-Wam says. “@griffpatch better give me that position now!”
After a few days of begging, @Will-Wam declares war against MIT. The US government and @griffpatch takes MIT's side, but her neighbors, Mexico and Canada, are on @Will-Wam's side.
“After all, I also want that job,” @PotatoAnimator - Canada's most followed Scratcher - says as he yeets a potato 563 kilometers into @Will_Wam's face.

We hope that many of our viewers can stay safe during this asterisk war. We at Aspect News can assure you that we are looking for a ^ symbol next to our usernames to gain power but avoid this terrible asterisk war. Stay safe out there!

Vanilla2011

@Will_Wam surrenders to @griffpatch
part 2 of my previous post

“I was sleeping in my bunker under Vancouver,” reports Will, “and then, suddenly, Griffy bust in and made me unconditionally surrender to the supposed ‘United States of North America’,” he says, before he was taken away by guards into the Prison of IP-banned Scratchers.
“We better watch out,” says the president of the European Union. “The United States are getting stronger day by day. We might get invaded next.”
“Having a pretty good afternoon here,” Griffpatch says. “Will_Wam and that potato guy are permanently IP-banned, which is good for me!” Immediately after that @PotatoAnimator threw a potato 2645 km into Griffy's face. “Ouch.”

The AspectNews team hopes that the EU will not get invaded by the US. Always stay cautious, and live each day as if it were your last.

Discuss Scratch