People of Scratch! I call ye to attention, for I bear both warning and hope. I have debated myself long and hard, unsure of the exact manner in which to conduct my monitions, unsure even of whether such monitions ought to be given, out of fear for the fury and fright that may ensue; yet the danger grows ever greater with each passing day, and at last, I am left with no choice but to act, and to act promptly.

It has been an ill-kept secret for too long that these forums, once proud and prosperous, have fallen far into a state of deep disrepair and decay. Indeed, so far have they sunk, so far beneath the peaks upon which they once stood, that they now border upon the brink of imminent collapse and total immolation. There are many in this world, many even among ye whom I now address, who would scoff at this very notion, scoff at me and call me a madman. Yet the danger looms before us even as I speak, and no longer shall I allow your eyes to remain sealed; I shall throw them open, even as the light may blind them!

I understand, truly, the uncertainty you may feel. “What,” you ask, “are you even talking about? I see no danger. These forums are in the height of their existence! Their glory days! What could possibly be wrong, when so much is right? You are simply a pessimist, a prophet of gloom and doom!” To this, O People of Scratch, I respond: indeed, your complacence is itself a symptom of the disease. The poison has spread to the heart; it permeates all; yet despite this, it is not too late for the malady to be cured. It is not too late to reverse course. But we must strain the oars; we must pull with all our might, lest the vessel careen full-speed into the imminent rocks!

We stand, my countrymen, at a crossroads. Behind us lies the path whence we arrived, forever lost now. Before us lie two roads. One of them appears in pristine condition and beckons us, deceptively like a siren, to follow; but take heed! for it leads to our inevitable destruction. The other is made of dirt and gravel, barely maintained, barely trodden, branching off into the heart of a dark and deadly forest; yet in the midst of this wild, starless night, in the midst of the blackened trees blotting out the faint moon, are the faint rays of hope: hope so faint one can barely notice, yet hope nonetheless, the nearly imperceptible rays that draw us to the embers of a new dawn.

Thus, People of Scratch! I call you to my side. Let us take the second path! So many before us have failed, pulled like moths to the flaming torch. We shall not join their fatal company! Let us scorn the false torch and march onwards to the true light of a new era!

I spent wayyyyyy too much time coming up with this lol

I sell and copyright your message.

I don't have a four wheel drive truck so I can't drive on dirt roads, sorry

CatsUnited wrote:

I don't have a four wheel drive truck so I can't drive on dirt roads, sorry

Lol look at this dude who isn't even a trucker who fishes and cuts wood with a handaxe

fdreerf wrote:

CatsUnited wrote:

I don't have a four wheel drive truck so I can't drive on dirt roads, sorry

Lol look at this dude who isn't even a trucker who fishes and cuts wood with a handaxe

I know right? Absolutely pitiful

h

-ShadowOfTheFuture- wrote:

h

What a great forum post, very helpful for many, very useful as well.

-ShadowOfTheFuture- wrote:

fdreerf wrote:

CatsUnited wrote:

I don't have a four wheel drive truck so I can't drive on dirt roads, sorry

Lol look at this dude who isn't even a trucker who fishes and cuts wood with a handaxe

I know right? Absolutely pitiful

Sorry - they took my truck away because I didn't celebrate Truck Month on March

Too long, no bold words, didn't read. Can you summarize the topic in one sentence for me?

Za-Chary wrote:

Too long, no bold words, didn't read. Can you summarize the topic in one sentence for me?

tl;dr: I want cake

-ShadowOfTheFuture- wrote:

Za-Chary wrote:

Too long, no bold words, didn't read. Can you summarize the topic in one sentence for me?

tl;dr: I want cake

Too long, no bold letters, didn't read. Can you summarize the post in one letter for me?

Za-Chary wrote:

-ShadowOfTheFuture- wrote:

Za-Chary wrote:

Too long, no bold words, didn't read. Can you summarize the topic in one sentence for me?

tl;dr: I want cake

Too long, no bold letters, didn't read. Can you summarize the post in one letter for me?

I

Hello, -ShadowOfTheFuture-, I have not read your post. Have a nice day!

bobcat0701 wrote:

Za-Chary wrote:

-ShadowOfTheFuture- wrote:

Za-Chary wrote:

Too long, no bold words, didn't read. Can you summarize the topic in one sentence for me?

tl;dr: I want cake

Too long, no bold letters, didn't read. Can you summarize the post in one letter for me?

I

Sorry, I don't understand, could you elaborate?

Za-Chary wrote:

bobcat0701 wrote:

Za-Chary wrote:

-ShadowOfTheFuture- wrote:

Za-Chary wrote:

Too long, no bold words, didn't read. Can you summarize the topic in one sentence for me?

tl;dr: I want cake

Too long, no bold letters, didn't read. Can you summarize the post in one letter for me?

I

Sorry, I don't understand, could you elaborate?

I cake

CatsUnited wrote:

Za-Chary wrote:

bobcat0701 wrote:

Za-Chary wrote:

-ShadowOfTheFuture- wrote:

Za-Chary wrote:

Too long, no bold words, didn't read. Can you summarize the topic in one sentence for me?

tl;dr: I want cake

Too long, no bold letters, didn't read. Can you summarize the post in one letter for me?

I

Sorry, I don't understand, could you elaborate?

I cake

E

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

-ShadowOfTheFuture- wrote:

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

Ah, they've managed to extend it to 8 words now? Cool.

James, while John had had “had,” had had “had had”; “had had” had had a better effect on the teacher.